Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Americans barely caring about Afghanistan is so last month.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Infrastructure week. at last.

This blog will pay for itself.

This fight is for everything.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Republicans in disarray!

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

The willow is too close to the house.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Everybody saw this coming.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

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Reader Interactions

110Comments

  1. 1.

    Valdivia

    The Village will be insufferable this week and next, but afterwards it will be a shock to them that the rest of the country aren’t swooning.

  4. 4.

    dmsilev

    The newsfeed thingies are telling me that Romney picked Ryan a week ago. Therefore, it was a deliberate decision to wait until until sunrise on a Saturday morning to make the announcement.

    Seriously?

  7. 7.

    Schlemizel

    Joe Scarborough versus Joe Soptic.

    Jay-zuz I hope not . . . I’m afraid I already know who won that battles given their relative places in the debate.

  10. 10.

    Violet

    From the link, one of the tweets:

    Ryan students know he is MUCH better performer+handsomer when he gets sufficient sleep. Will be interesting to see if Boston executed that

    Seriously? And notice the set up. If Ryan fails, it’s Romney’s fault.

  12. 12.

    Baud

    Ryan students know he is MUCH better performer+handsomer when he gets sufficient sleep.

    Which is why Halperin doesn’t wake Ryan up when he leaves in the morning.

  16. 16.

    geg6

    Holy fuck, that last Halperin tweet is sickening. And how, exactly, does ol’ Markie know what Ryan looks like in the morning after a sleepless night?

    Ugh. I can only take solace in the unshakeable fact that Halperin is always, always wrong. Always.

  18. 18.

    GregB

    Mark Halperin @Markhalperin

    “Late greats who would applaud Ryan nod: Ronald Reagan, Jack Kemp, Bob Novak.”

    Apparently Halperin is the corpse whisperer.

  20. 20.

    Schlemizel

    I bet all the Little Friskies loving nanas in Florida can hardly wait to pull the lever for Mr. Ryan.

    Oh no, not the voting machine lever – the Guillotine lever.

    @Valdivia: YUP!
    @kansi: Pretty stupid if the results of ’94. ’00. ’04 and ’10 are any indications. Lets just hope we are not THIS stupid

  24. 24.

    mikefromArlington

    Well, if all else fails those two could probably be spokespeople Grecian formula.

  25. 25.

    dmsilev

    @Violet: Well, then 3 months worth of 24/7 campaigning ought to produce some …interesting results.

    Also, too, does that mean that Ryan isn’t ready for the 3 AM phone call?

  27. 27.

    Morzer

    Well, that’s the weakest GOP ticket on foreign policy in living memory, the VP amplifies all of Romney’s worst qualities and acts of fiscal dishonesty, and even the GOP have been pretending they didn’t vote for Slaving Private Ryan’s Act of Fiscal Incontinence and Rightwing Social Engineering. This is the earliest Christmas gift in history to a campaign that is ruthless enough and efficient enough to use its opportunities. Somehow I doubt that the Obama people lack either of those qualities.

    How does Barack Obama get so damn lucky in his opponents?

  28. 28.

    Schlemizel

    @raven: Yes, silence from his national perch. Where he can dictate the boundrys of the debate and the terms allowed to be used. He wins.

    Joe & the rest of us lose

  32. 32.

    hilts

    Another great moment in douchebaggery from Halperin

    Halperin’s gaffe came on Thursday, when he was commenting on Obama’s Wednesday press conference. He first asked host Joe Scarborough, “Are we on the seven-second delay?” implying that he wanted to speak freely but not have his comments broadcast. Scarborough and co-host Mika Brzezinski assured Halperin that he could speak freely and anticipated a controversial remark. Halperin said: “I thought he was kind of a dick yesterday.” Scarborough was in disbelief over Halperin’s comment and quickly directed his attention off-camera, saying, “Delay that. Delay that. What are you doing?” Halperin apologized after the hosts realized that the show’s new executive producer was not familiar with the seven-second delay button.

  34. 34.

    Aimai

    Nope, nancy darling, I did a double take on nocturnal tweets myself. Plus the image that comes to my mind after “handsomer if he gets enough sleep” is a boob fed baby falling asleep at the breast with all the experienced grandmas tiptoeing around to protect his nap.

  41. 41.

    Baud

    I’m looking forward to the pain on Romney’s face when Ryan gets a bigger applause that Romney ever has.

  42. 42.

    Schlemizel

    @hilts:
    This is not the first time the great and powerful Halperin has called the President a dick IIRC.

    Nice way to elevate the debate. Wish he would do it in front of an honest news clown with the courage to demand he justify the claim.

  43. 43.

    Elizabelle

    @Baud: @GregB:

    Tee hee. The corpse whisperer.

    Thinking of Warren Buffet’s comment in a different setting, about how once the tide goes out, you get to see who’s been swimming naked.

    Thinking the Villagers are about to get separated from their sea.

  44. 44.

    Chyron HR

    What Ryan will not easily B:

    You had enough room to write “be”, you semiliterate Tweet-chimp.

  45. 45.

    Baud

    @Violet:

    It’s a decent crowd. Bad visuals in terms of how they are set up. I think they wanted to make sure the ship was visible.

  46. 46.

    dmsilev

    You know, there’s something fitting about Romney’s choice of venue for this announcement being a type of warship that’s been thoroughly obsolete for the last several decades.

  48. 48.

    hoodie

    Romney may get the Village, but he can kiss Florida goodbye. Why Norfolk? For the fucking battleship? For a punkass guy like Ryan? The optics of having McDonnell, a better choice, introduce are just weird. And on Saturday morning? This is pure panic dumbfuckery, worse than Palin.

  53. 53.

    Boudica

    Did he just say join me in welcoming the next PRESIDENT of the United States, Paul Ryan? ha ha ha

  54. 54.

    Violet

    OH MY GOD! Romney said, “Join me in welcoming the next PRESIDENT of the United States, Paul Ryan.”

  56. 56.

    Elizabelle

    OMG.

    Did Romney just say “Join me in welcoming the next President of the United States. Paul Ryan.”

    I didn’t hear “vice.”

    Was that me?

  57. 57.

    JGabriel

    Mark Halperin:

    Late greats who would applaud Ryan nod: Ronald Reagan, Jack Kemp, Bob Novak.

    Since I don’t trust Halperin, I decided to contact the dead and ask them myself whether or not they applaud Ryan. Reagan and Kemp both said, “Who?” At least, I think that what Reagan said. It was kind of tell. He was drooling a li’l bit.

    Novak, on the other hand, scowled and said, “Why?” Then he turned in his hell-dug roasting pit and ate another baby leg.

    .

  63. 63.

    Elizabelle

    OMG.

    Did Romney just say “Join me in welcoming the next President of the United States. Paul Ryan.”

    I didn’t hear “vice.”

    Was that me?

  64. 64.

    mamayaga

    With all the whooping and high-fiving, I haven’t seen any hard information on how this news could get better: does Wisconsin law require Ryan to now resign from Congress?

  67. 67.

    Comrade Dread

    Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a blatant blowjob in print. (I stopped reading Penthouse a couple of decades ago.)

    This is Halperin’s starbursts in his pants moment.

  68. 68.

    Elizabelle

    OMG.

    Did Romney just say “Join me in welcoming the next President of the United States. Paul Ryan.”

    I didn’t hear “vice.”

    Was that me?

  70. 70.

    JGabriel

    Mark Halperin:

    Late greats who would applaud Ryan nod: Ronald Reagan, Jack Kemp, Bob Novak.

    Since I don’t trust Halperin, I decided to contact the dead and ask them myself whether or not they applaud the Ryan pick. Reagan and Kemp both said, “Who?” At least, I think that’s what Reagan said. It was kind of hard to tell. He was drooling a li’l bit.

    Novak, on the other hand, scowled and said, “Why?” Then he turned in his hell-dug roasting pit and ate another baby leg.

    .

  71. 71.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I’m not watching teevee, I’m listening to the radio, but I would SWEAR that Romney just said “Join me in welcoming the next PRESIDENT of the United States!”

    WTF? bad TelePrompTer moment? Freudian slip?

  72. 72.

    mamayaga

    With all the whooping and high-fiving, I haven’t seen any hard information on how this news could get better: does Wisconsin law require Ryan to now resign from Congress?

  75. 75.

    NancyDarling

    Did I mis-hear or did Rmoney just introduce Ryan as the “next president of the United States”? Surely I mis-heard.

  76. 76.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I’m not watching teevee, I’m listening to the radio, but I would SWEAR that Romney just said “Join me in welcoming the next PRESIDENT of the United States!”

    WTF? bad TelePrompTer moment? Freudian slip?

  77. 77.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @dmsilev:

    For half a fucking century, actually. There’s a reason why the last two ships of the Iowa class (the Wisconsin is one of the four that were actually built) and successor class to the Iowa class were cancelled before the keels were laid.

  78. 78.

    mamayaga

    With all the whooping and high-fiving, I haven’t seen any hard information on how this news could get better: does Wisconsin law require Ryan to now resign from Congress?

  80. 80.

    Alex S.

    Oh my God…. Halperin has a tweet that links to all his Ryan tweets in one place… and it gets only worse….

  81. 81.

    JGabriel

    Mark Halperin:

    Late greats who would applaud Ryan nod: Ronald Reagan, Jack Kemp, Bob Novak.

    Since I don’t trust Halperin, I decided to contact the dead and ask them myself whether or not they applaud the Ryan pick. Reagan and Kemp both said, “Who?” At least, I think that’s what Reagan said. It was kind of hard to tell. He was drooling a li’l bit.

    Novak, on the other hand, scowled and said, “Why?” Then he turned in his hell-dug roasting pit and ate another baby leg.

    .

  82. 82.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @dmsilev:

    For half a fucking century, actually. There’s a reason why the last two ships of the Iowa class (the Wisconsin is one of the four that were actually built) and successor class to the Iowa class were cancelled before the keels were laid.

  83. 83.

    mamayaga

    With all the whooping and high-fiving, I haven’t seen any hard information on how this news could get better: does Wisconsin law require Ryan to now resign from Congress?

  84. 84.

    rob!

    Mitt Romney just said that Paul Ryan is “An intellectual leader of the Republican Party.” Sadly, that is true.

  85. 85.

    rob!

    Mitt Romney just said that Paul Ryan is “An intellectual leader of the Republican Party.” Sadly, that is true.

  88. 88.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @dmsilev:

    Battleships have been obsolete for more than half a century. The Wisconsin was the last battleship commissioned.

    On edit: sorry about that. WP behaving badly, my first battleship post never got acknowledge, only a “no data received” message in Chrome. I guess the blog is straining with the news today.

  96. 96.

    NotMax

    So, with Mitt pouting about Obama not helping Mitt’s campaign, and now with Wisconsin’s Ryan on board, can we dub this duo Whine & Cheese?

  97. 97.

    RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist

    I can’t decide if this is good news for John McCain or not. Help a fellow out here.

  98. 98.

    Anya

    Ryan students know he is MUCH better performer+handsomer when he gets sufficient sleep. Will be interesting to see if Boston executed that

    Jesus H. Christ in a chicken basket! Halprin sounds like a 14 year old boy who’s crushing badly on the quarterback.

  100. 100.

    divF

    @Baud:

    Thanks, but the tubes are full of win today, and the west coast hasn’t even woken up.

    In Berkeley (in Peet’s drinking coffee), and loving every minute of it.I’m not the witty guy in the Pacific time zone, will wait for my confreres to chime in.

  101. 101.

    SRW1

    Why does V1agra cause brain farts in Villagers? Does flooding the blood vessels of their d*cks push out the air that normally resides there?

  104. 104.

    Fluke bucket

    Remember the picture posted here of Romney and Ryan and some genius commenter captioned it “hey, let’s show them our Slingblade face”? I still wake up at night laughing about that sometimes.

  105. 105.

    mk3872

    One must never forget that Halperin called Obama a “DICK” on the air. So that says all you need to know about Halperin’s allegiances.

  106. 106.

    RaflW

    Handsomer when he gets his beauty sleep! That’s our Paul Ryan, pretty-boy destructor of the American Middle Class, as wet-dreamed over by Mark Halperin.

    Starbursts!

  107. 107.

    danielx

    @Sly:

    Isn’t it always? The upside is that Ryan can occasionally get out a coherent sentence, unlike Snowbilly Snooki.

    Since Halperin’s powers of prognostication rival Bloody Bill Kristol’s I’d guess the Dems’ margin of victory in November just doubled.

  108. 108.

    Pope Bandar bin Turtle

    @NancyDarling: No!

    (This has been another edition of simple answers to simple questions.)

    Longer answer: Is that what the cool kids are calling wet dreams?

  109. 109.

    Tehanu

    @GregB:

    I already knew that Halperin was an idiot, but really, Bob Novak a “great” anything? Maybe a great driver-who-runs-old-people-over — and come to think of it, that fits right in with Ryan’s granny-starving, doesn’t it?

  110. 110.

    David Koch

    bob Novak was a traitor who was responsible for countless deaths and damage to our national security.

Comments are closed.