We’ve touched on this before — starbursts, shoulders you could land a 747 on, tanned (in a prairie, sun-chapped sort of way), can you smell the English leather on this guy, it makes the best of his manly characteristic….he has just won every woman’s vote in the United States of America — but this one may take the cake (via):
Paul Ryan Has Become A National Sex Symbol
Why do wingers and villagers turn every prominent conservative figure into sexualized object of desire? I just don’t get it.
craigie
I dunno, why do they dress up in wetsuits with dildos in their bums?
Conservatarians are just a mystery.
Cain
uh.. I’m sorry, but has anybody not seen the pics of Obama with his flat stomach, rippling muscles wandering around in the beach? NO way dudes.. this guy looks like Larch’s long lost cousin.. his new name should be meathead.
Urza
simple brains yield simple responses and only have so many ways to deal with the world
Anya
I don’t want to look but I am curious… did they say which nation?
General Stuck
Wow!! that was quick. You give a republican some rat meat and a little meth, and watch them go full bunny on you.
Xecky Gilchrist
Why do wingers and villagers turn every prominent conservative figure into sexualized object of desire?
They’re secretly building a green energy infrastructure based on harnessing the force of vomit emerging from liberals’ mouths.
Well, maybe not so much a green energy as an orangey-brown one.
Spaghetti Lee
@Anya:
Somalia!
West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.)
Well, I don’t remember who it was or what thread it was on, but I’m pretty sure that somebody here today said something about paying good money to see Michelle Bachmann’s naughty bits. See, both sides do it!
Jim, Foolish Literalist
No discussion of this is complete without recalling Midge Decter’s mash notes, including one apparently stretched to fill an entire book, to Donald Rumsfeld
...now I try to be amused
Fascists have a fetish for virility, but if their leaders aren’t particularly virile they’ll pretend that they are.
Spaghetti Lee
“Romney/Ryan 2012: No Homo.”
Spaghetti Lee
You journalists can fap to Paul Ryan all you want, but his heart belongs to one woman: Ayn Rand’s corpse.
General Stuck
It should be noted, that we are at the beginning of this adventure, and it will be some time to rule out that which is a little often true. That the prettier the wingnut, and the deeper the reverence, statistics show these elements are directly related to heretofore the existence girl toys, or boy toys for that matter. Hunkered down in the closet of right wing fear and loathing.
A Ghost To Most
@Anya: Galt’s Gulch
Suffern Ace
Oh great. The confounded debate Over twinks and frat boys vs. bears and daddies that makes p0rn such an endless discussion. At this house we’ve taken to banning all discussions of religion, politics, and favorite stud model at the dinner table. Like most polite society has. Apparently the Hannity household is not well bred.
danimal
I don’t think the theory is complete yet.
Exhibit one: Dick Cheney
beltane
Republicans are just weird, like freaky weird. They also exude a vibe of impotence and wounded masculinity.
Hawes
If DC is the Hollywood for Ugly People, does that make Ryan… what? Steve Carrell?
arguingwithsignposts
@craigie:
Tide goes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain it.
Oliver's Neck
Wasn’t there also some obsession amongst them about Cheney being hung?
danielx
Just off the top of my head: after
the wet suits
dildos
wide stances
hiking the Appalachian Trail
crystal meth rent boys
etc etc etc
I’d have to guess it’s because a lot of Republicans are deeply twisted and repressed people. In other words, a lot of sick fucks whose view of sexual behavior is something I’d just as soon not dwell upon.
Sean Hannity’s ideas about who or what is a National Sex Symbol are need to be…re-considered.
Hill Dweller
As I said a couple of posts down, the Republican party is comprised largely of repressed, self-loathing, gay white men.
PurpleGirl
Brain bleach please… and lots of it.
Corner Stone
Not sure why you chose to besmirch a tried and true tradition like GFE with a post like this, but I guess that’s how it goes.
Waynski
@craigie: That comment gave me Starbursts and a tingle up my leg…… That doesn’t make conservative does it?
Ding dong
I do not get it. He has decent looking parts taken separateky but put together it is not a good looking package. Portman and Tpaw were better looking. In whole packages.
handy
@Oliver’s Neck:
That’s an image that can just stay deep down in the memory hole.
West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.)
Good call, Hawes (@ #18): Steve Carrell is Paul Ryan in Paul Verhoeven’s “Showboys!”
handy
Ryan Express–He Delivers His Package On Time.
Good God it’s been a long week and I haven’t had
enoughanything to drink.Little Boots
think of the options. John Boener? Mitch McConnell? Dick Cheney?
and then a Sarah Palin or a Paul Ryan comes along?
water in the desert, buddy.
beltane
@Oliver’s Neck: Thanks, I was just about to go to bed and then you brought up that dreadful image.
beltane
Marco Rubio was the only one of these clowns who could pass as goof-looking.
Little Boots
No Orlando Bloom, thank god, that might be trouble.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@beltane:
Yeah, that wide-eyed stare makes him look goofy, but I think Paul Ryan’s SadPaulRyan face is goofier, and if Willard ever lost his money, he’d only need long ears to play Goofy at Disneyland.
TG Chicago
Same reason they say every male Democrat is a sissy and every female Democrat is a bulldyke.
But I’m not sure what that reason is. I guess a general need to demonize and dehumanize the opposition also forces you to glorify and deify the people on your own team.
The Dangerman
They will talk about anything – ANYTHING – other than his budget.
Next up: he’s probably got a great golf swing. And has cute kids.
Little Boots
@The Dangerman:
for now, but then they have to, and then they’re doomed.
gnomedad
Conservatives are just exemplars of all imaginable positive attributes, including sexy, because shut up, that’s why.
opie jeanne
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: This is a real thing? Oh, God.
handy
DougJ why didn’t you retool your post title around the perhaps more obvious but far superior Talking Heads song?
Little Boots
seriously, worst rich guy, doofus, out of touch in a recession ticket. I almost feel sorry for them.
almost.
angelfoot
Probably has something to do with the nonstop sexy sex libtards are always sexily having, down the republicans throats.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@opie jeanne: this is from 2003
Google suggests that Mrs Podhoretz has become a full-time Rumsfled hagiographer. Her 2011 article on his memoires is titled “We Owe Him”.
Hawes
This is 11 dimensional chess by the DC press corps. Write about how Paul Ryan is like George Clooney, if Clooney were stupid and had big ears.
Then, when they persistently point out how Ryan is an innumerate liar, they can say, “We’re not biased. We called him sexy!”
I’m joking of course, they will never point out that Ryan is an innumerate liar.
Little Boots
you guys are stepping on each other, post-wise.
Oliver's Neck
@handy:
Deep down the memory hole, huh?
handy
OK Stephanie Cutter’s pretty hot
Corner Stone
@handy: That’s not the handy I know.
handy
@Oliver’s Neck:
Aww hell I didn’t even see what I did there but I sure saw what you just did.
ruemara
I don’t get it. His eyes are vacant, his mouth, petulant. He conveys not a smidge of intellect or wit. His eyes are blue and that’s about it. Not a hint of sexy.
handy
@Corner Stone:
That was a total whiff. I am seriously off my game tonight.
Hill Dweller
Maddow had a clip of Ryan fear mongering on the House floor just before the vote to give Dubya the OK to invade Iraq. He is a complete fraud.
rb
@Spaghetti Lee: Oh my god, that’s … completely accurate.
Alison
I seriously don’t see what’s so attractive about him. At best, he’s a very average looking dude. Not ugly, but nothing to write home about, really. Of course, who gives a fuck because this isn’t a damn pageant.
Funny though, the right going on and on about how hot he is. I remember seeing some wingnuts getting all pearl-clutchy and grossed out when ladies were talking about Obama being a sexy MFer. GEE I WONDER WHAT THE DIFFERENCE COULD POSSIBLY BE.
Feudalism Now!
I think DougJ has a deep seated aversion to David Byrne.
Little Boots
@ruemara:
Doug?
could we leave him alone?
The Dangerman
@Oliver’s Neck:
No, he’s probably like Pee Wee Herman (except, instead of the face, Pee Wee shot a man in the back of the head in the theater).
The prophet Nostradumbass
they think women are stupid.
Little Boots
@The prophet Nostradumbass:
and then they find a truly stupid woman, a Sarah or a Michelle, and they fall in love.
odd, that.
Binky Bear
Ryan is who Larry Craig was hoping to see when he put his foot under the stall at the airport in Minneapolis.
Little Boots
@handy:
so is he, actually.
opie jeanne
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Thanks. I went and found that right after I posted. I found him repellant in looks and behavior, but maybe power is a heady aphrodisiac for some people.
scav
You take one look at them and think “dick” and then “whoa boy, am I about to get fucked.”?
They’re running on pure lizard brain, they lack higher cortical function for other terms of quality (not that they’re given much quality to describe).
Nutella
Because their programs and policies are so awful they can’t sell them to anyone with half a brain. All they have is sizzle, no steak.
SATSQ
Little Boots
the hell are you people?
stop dicking around.
? Martin
OK, I’ve always considered myself to be perfectly average in almost every way. I look a lot like Ryan, and I’m 2 years older. But I don’t have the wrinked forehead, the 5 o’clock shadow, and I look younger.
Sorry, but I’m sure as fuck not a sex symbol, and he’s no more deserving of the title than me.
Little Boots
cornerstone,
you’re kind of a dick, but you’re also awesome.
where are you?
Nutella
@Nutella:
And to distract from their amazingly obvious lies, like this one about the GM plant that closed in Janesville WI (Ryan’s home before he became permanently stuck inside the Beltway).
PurpleGirl
@? Martin: What symbol do you have in front of your name? I’m seeing a box with numbers in it, as if it were a foreign language character.
pk
@ruemara:
To that I would add, he can easily be cast as a serial killer in a cheap horror movie. But who knows, maybe republican women are all panting after him wanting to have his babies.
piratedan
of course he’s “dead sexy”! how could there not be a gleam in the eyes of those Log Cabin Republicans and those Soccer Moms fantasizing about his limber loins while he boldly turns their parents out in the cold, unafraid of making those tough decisions regarding health care entitlements and protecting the rights of corporations to make a profit on the misery and illness of others.
This guy is a “sex machine” because he’s always looking to lay some pipe, be it a crony filled Pipeline project from Canada or keeping his military groupies satisfied with the lush spendable green.
How can any self respecting Republican not get a woody when considering all of those lusty attributes… all that is lacking from his resume is cheating on his spouse with a young attractive staffer and ruining her family’s career and he would be the epitome of candidate for higher office.
Omnes Omnibus
Christ, this thread is the stuff of nightmares.
LongHairedWeirdo
Because they’re working on appearances. It’s all image.
Caz
And by every prominent conservative figure, you mean who? I can’t think of any off the top of my head. You think maybe you’re just trying to make an issue where one doesn’t exist? That would be par for the course. Like Romney and every other white conservative being racist, and turning all their words into blatant inferences of racism where it doesn’t exist. Reality’s not very important to your political discourse, is it? I wonder why no one other than similarly deluded useful idiots reads this blog. The depth of thought here is summed up by the response I always get to every comment I make: “Troll! Asshole! Piece of shit! Go away!”
David Koch
Remember when they named Pat Buchanan “sexist man alive”
http://www.coverjunkie.com/uploads/1284548811.jpg
Ruckus
Why do wingers and villagers turn every prominent conservative figure into sexualized object of desire? I just don’t get it.
They know there isn’t any other reason anyone would vote for them. It’s the only there they’ve got. And like everything else they do lying about something everyone can see for themselves costs them nothing.
Omnes Omnibus
@David Koch: No. I am not getting out of the fucking boat.
AnotherBruce
Why do wingers and villagers turn every prominent conservative figure into sexualized object of desire? I just don’t get it.
Probably about 14 people have already written this, but here it goes anyway.
Because they like being fucked in every way by powerful people.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Caz: Go away, troll asshole piece of shit.
Trina
Once you go black, you never go back :)
Steeplejack
@PurpleGirl:
It’sI thought it was a yellow star. Origuy explained on a thread downstairs where to get a font for it.? Martin
@PurpleGirl: It’s a little alien head. If you’re running Firefox, you can do this to see it: http://photar.net/emoji/
? Martin
@Steeplejack: I changed it from the star to an alien. I’ll probably change it now and then.
Yutsano
@Omnes Omnibus: But the mangoes are so sweet and the beaches are lovely.
the dude
@Oliver’s Neck:
If he goes to The Hague that may be a possibility …
Reminds me of the old joke:
Man: That politician oughta be bloody well hung!
Woman: Believe me, he is.
Omnes Omnibus
@Yutsano: Any mangoes that connect the phrases “Pat Buchanan” and “sexiest man alive” are to be avoided. And, my god, any beach that might come to mind following that….
Yutsano
@Omnes Omnibus: It’s a fair point, I’m just in a buttheadish mood. :)
Anne Laurie
@Ding dong:
The last prominent political figures I can remember who had Ryan’s “black Irish” features were Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, and Pat Buchanan. Something about pale, beady eyes set too closely together and the eternal dark beard shadow under milky-pale skin triggers some kind of erotic nostalgia in these authoritarian RW dudes…
Roger Moore
@Omnes Omnibus:
Why? What do you have against food that’s been infected with psychoactive fungus? Next you’re going to be suggesting that we avoid the ergot infected rye.
Omnes Omnibus
@Roger Moore:
Well, now that you mention it.
suzanne
God. These people have such low expectations for hot. I don’t think Paul Ryan is a bad-looking dude, but he certainly isn’t HOT. Sex symbol? Please. He’s in maybe the 65th percentile in terms of looks.
Omnes Omnibus
@suzanne: Wow, you are being generous tonight.
David Koch
“
Raymond Shaw[insert winger candidate] is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.”dance around in your bones
‘There’s more than one answer to these questions, pointing me in a crooked line. The less I seek my source for some definitive. The closer I am to fine.’
/Indigo Girls
There’s more to looking/being hot than blue eyes and average good looks. There’s the whole content of character thing. It’s, like, a package.
Heh.
jayjaybear
Well, they obviously can’t adore them for their intelligence and cogent analysis of the political milieu. We’re talking about conservatives here…
Yutsano
@dance around in your bones: Since it’s in my brain now, let’s just go there, shall we?
dance around in your bones
@Yutsano: Gladly. It’s almost a perfect song; pretty close to fine.
I have had the privilege of seeing the Indigo Girls several times. Thnx.
mechwarrior online
@jayjaybear:
Eh there are some conservatives that are smart, Powell, Bush the elder, Jeb. The ones they trot out as sexy though are almost always the sort of man of the earth types, even though it’s usually all made up.
Conservatives sell the person and what they represent, never policy. Liberals tend to pick a mix depending on the situation.
The message they are sending is easy. The best things about Ryan are just like you. Self made, hunter, fisher, normal, easy going sort of guy. And since that’s good, you’re good to. So vote for us, because he’s like you and you can trust him. Oh and he’s sexy, so you are sexy to.
That’s why Ryan’s more dangerous than he’s given credit for. He’s charismatic, and if you ran into him or heard about his hobbies he’d be another hardworking member of the middle/upper middle class just like your neighbor. Now that’s bullshit, as his rich and a malicious pawn of the elites, but it’s how he seems. It’s also why “lol parasailing” or whatever crushed Kerry, because that’s shit mostly done by extremely rich people who can afford yatchs and shit all over hunting and fishing.
Comrade Dread
Meteor! Meteor! Meteor! Come on Mayans…
David Koch
I guess the Mayans were right about 2012.
Jebediah
@Caz:
And still you don’t take the hint.
David Koch
You know who else was a national sex symbol
http://tinyurl.com/d7b5g8d
Omnes Omnibus
@David Koch: Oh, fuck you. I know I should blame myself for clicking, but, still, fuck you.
suzanne
@Omnes Omnibus: I won’t lie. Were he not a douche, I’d do him.
karen marie
Fucking Pennsylvania Democratic Party is a GIANT FAIL on FB.
Posted in wrong thread but I’ll let it stand.
suzanne
@Omnes Omnibus: I thought it was gonna be Ronnie Raygun.
Omnes Omnibus
@suzanne: Jesus, after seeing a picture of me from my army days, you said you would do me. I am in-fucking-sulted.
suzanne
@Omnes Omnibus: Why?! Maybe I have bad taste. Maybe I’m a ho.
Omnes Omnibus
@suzanne: Saying that you might have bad taste does not make things less insulting.
suzanne
@Omnes Omnibus: Aww. Sorry. No insult intended.
I actually have pretty good taste, and I’m not a ho. Saying that the douche is in the 65th percentile for looks is hardly an endorsement. I mean, I’m probably in the 50th percentile for looks, but if someone told me that I was in the 65th, I’d be offended. LOL.
kuvasz
@Anne Laurie:
The last prominent political figures I can remember who had Ryan’s “black Irish” features were Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, and Pat Buchanan. Something about pale, beady eyes set too closely together and the eternal dark beard shadow under milky-pale skin triggers some kind of erotic nostalgia in these authoritarian RW dudes…
that be fetal alcohol syndrome
Thor Heyerdahl
@the dude:
Charlie: They said you was hung.
Bart: And they was right.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdExsAQuCQA
Calouste
@the dude:
I assume you mean ‘hanged’, but no, that is not a possibility in the Hague, they don’t give out death penalties.
kansi
Dude, I’ve been around long enough to remember when Henry Kissinger and even Alan Greenspan were pushed as being HAWT!
chuck butcher
Maybe the ladies can help me out with this one, ’cause I’m just not seeing it – and I’m not using the guy in my mirror as a measuring stick. There is something not reassuring about his face to me – could be prejudice I suppose.
Since there have been strikingly good looking women who have found me very attractive, much to my puzzlement, I can only suppose… well, that taste varies.
chuck butcher
Maybe the ladies can help me out with this one, ’cause I’m just not seeing it – and I’m not using the guy in my mirror as a measuring stick. There is something not reassuring about his face to me – could be prejudice I suppose.
Since there have been strikingly good looking women who have found me very attractive, much to my puzzlement, I can only suppose… well, that taste varies.
WereBear
@chuck butcher: Paul Ryan is only “hot” to people who think he has power and would like to hoover up some for themselves.
I find him rather unattractive in itself, and there’s this adolescent “listening face” he does that is ludicrous in a man of 42. And what’s with the oversized jackets? His whole persona screams FAKE.
Oh, and shrugging off killing old people is a big turn-off.
schnooten
In seriousness, if we’re going to look past the sexualization of Barack Obama (who seems a bit anomalous when I think about it), conservatism appeals to the visceral, not the cerebral. It seems natural that sexual desire would probably flow from that.
El Cid
Conservatism and homoeroticism are never parted.
SFAW
Fixed for … hell, I don’t know – accuracy? Faithfulness to the RNC platform? “Just because”? Just to make a gratuitous reference to Hayekian modesty or Brooksian dick-worship?
Celeriac
@Caz: J
“I wonder why no one other than similarly deluded useful idiots reads this blog. ”
It’s sweet that you are no longer relying solely on the commentariat to point out your flaws.
gelfling545
When you’re a retired teacher everybody in the world reminds you of someone you’ve taught. Ryan reminds me of the sweet little 7th grade boy who is a bit young for his age but really eager to hang out with the big guys and frequently trips over his shoelaces.It’s in his face, his manner and his over-large suit jacket. Not in any way sexual.
McJulie
The difference is projection. When Democrats drool over one of their own — and I vividly remember Michael Moore’s giant crush on Hillary Clinton — it’s expressed as a personal sentiment. (As in, wow, is she easy on the eyes!)
When Republicans drool, it’s expressed as a universal sentiment. (As in, everyone sees starbursts! He’s a national sex symbol!)
Republicans use this rhetorical trick a lot. It’s kind of like “some say.” It just becomes particularly ridiculous in this context, especially because of the repressed homoerotic vibe that so many Republicans give off.
West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.)
WereBear, I like that term “listening face”. Yes, I’ve been trying to figure out precisely what bothers me about Ryan (besides his draconian, ill-informed, heartless policies). I think he’s a bit like someone who knows (s)he has a really good voice and likes to hear himself/herself talk. Ryan (like Hannity) seems to be experimenting with little eyebrow flutters, 3/4 profile views for the audience, etc. I sense no sincerity behind any of his words or his demeanor.
Matt
If Randroid conservatives fap themselves to sleep every night reading the juicy parts of the budget (“tax cuts for the rich, paid for by slashing benefits? UNNNNNGH!”), it counts as “being a sex symbol”, right?