Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

They punch you in the face and then start crying because their fist hurts.

People are weird.

This country desperately needs a functioning fourth estate.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Dear legacy media: you are not here to influence outcomes and policies you find desirable.

American history and black history cannot be separated.

I did not have this on my fuck 2025 bingo card.

We will not go back.

I would try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Disappointing to see gov. newsom with his finger to the wind.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

The “burn-it-down” people are good with that until they become part of the kindling.

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

She burned that motherfucker down, and I am so here for it. Thank you, Caroline Kennedy.

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

Decision time: keep arguing about the last election, or try to win the next one?

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Too little, too late, ftfnyt. fuck all the way off.

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

The desire to stay informed is directly at odds with the need to not be constantly enraged.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

It’s pointless to bring up problems that can only be solved with a time machine.

You would normally have to try pretty hard to self-incriminate this badly.

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37Comments

  3. 3.

    Yutsano

    Well obviously you’re not feeding her enough. Otherwise she wouldn’t feel the need to indulge in these little snackies.

    Not sure about the ice cream, but corn is safe for dogs.

  4. 4.

    JGabriel

    __
    __
    Oh, look! Romney treats American voters just like a rich conservative treats the IRS:

    Adviser says Romney to release 2011 tax return by October 15

    So we’re going to get Romney’s returns on the very last day they’re due to the government. Thanks, Mitt!

    No, seriously, thank you, Mitt. The optics on that are horrendous — and right in time for the election.

    Alternate headline: Romney To Release Taxes With Just Enough Time For No One To Analyze Them Before Voting

    .

  7. 7.

    Robin G.

    I can’t wait to find out what Romney has to say about “legitimate rape.” I’m putting five bucks on “I wouldn’t have phrased it that way.”

  8. 8.

    JPL

    A friend stores her bread and cookies in the oven or microwave in order to keep the goodies away from her lab. Somehow I don’t think that’s a good idea.

  9. 9.

    Anne Laurie

    This is why every wastebasket in our house is bungee’d to something so that it’s above waist height on a human.

    Rosie’s an amateur compared to our Gloria, though. Gloria would never leave a container in one piece, be it never so thoroughly licked clean. Gloria steals anything that might possibly at some point in its manufacture have been involved with potentially organic compounds — orange rinds, tea leaves, empty lip gloss tubes, Dial soap wrappers — eats what she can choke down, shreds any remants into pieces no larger than a business card, and then pisses on what’s left.

    It’s taken us almost three years to “recondition” her to the point where she’ll consider trading something potentially dangerous, like that corn cob, for actual edible dog treats. And three years of stuffing her face to the point where she mostly threatens to bite us if we accidentally get too close to whatever “resource” she’s guarding, instead of biting first & negotiating afterwards.

  10. 10.

    Yutsano

    @Robin G.: I’m in for, “That subject is not relevant to my campaign” and he continues rambling on about how he can fix the economy but won’t tell us how. And how he won’t totally embrace the Ryan plan except when he will.

  12. 12.

    gnomedad

    @JGabriel:
    Is there a mole in the Rmoney campaign who’s gonna dribble this stuff out from now until the election?

    Also, I thought the photo was of Cole’s new home theater.

  14. 14.

    Yutsano

    @JPL: If it helps, I know of at least one sane white voter down there. Of course she left Washington to chase a guy, met another guy, got divorced (I think, I’ve been too discreet to ask details), and is now engaged to a nice Jewish boy.

  15. 15.

    Anne Laurie

    @Yutsano:

    corn is safe for dogs.

    Corn kernels, yes. Whole corn cobs, not so much. Just through obedience classes, I have met weimeraners, malamutes, australian sheperds, pit bulls, corgis, and many many many labradors who required surgery to remove intestinal blockages caused by swallowing stuff like corn cobs. Also, one determined eight-pound miniature schnauzer who specifically gulped down whole corn cobs… more than once… because it took two surgeries before his owner (a veterinary student) realized he’d found a way to raid the trashcans in the picnic area next to the dog walk.

  17. 17.

    lamh35

    So I was surfing the net and came across pics of the Obama family walking to church today and I was struck by how big the girls have gotten.

    I have many complaints about the press, but it does seem that in the case of the Obamas, the press have tended to stay away from the girls unless they are seen with their parents.

    IDK, but I seem to remember seeing and hearing more stories about the kids of past Presidents…right?

    Anyway, here is the pic: http://ww1.hdnux.com/photos/14/61/02/3346600/3/628×471.jpg

    Wow. I remember the night of Obama’s election when is actually picked up the little one and held her. It’s amazing how kids just seemt o grow up so fast. But that is what they say about kids right, infants one minute and you turn your heads and they are teenagers. I know it was like that with my god kids.

  18. 18.

    ? Martin

    Be thankful you don’t have a corgi. Mine would eat the ice cream, eat the corn, eat the corn cob, and eat the ice cream carton, then go outside and take a dump and eat it all over again.

    Why just today I was looking for one of the sprinkler parts I bought last week. I discovered it embedded in a pile out in the lawn. He ate it. Didn’t just chew it up – ate it.

  19. 19.

    ? Martin

    @lamh35: His kids and my kids are the same age – mine each being almost exactly 5 months younger than each of his. So them growing doesn’t seem so surprising because mine are doing the same in step. Malia should be starting high school here. With a re-election, we’ll be able to see her go off to college from the White House.

  20. 20.

    PurpleGirl

    @? Martin: What is the symbol in front of your name? I see a box with numbers in it. Is it a Chinese character?

    (I asked the other day in another thread but forgot which one so I could go and check for an answer.)

  24. 24.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @gloryb:

    Well, I’m sorry I missed that. Haven’t watched MTP for ages, but I confess to liking Kasim, even though he pisses me off sometimes. Can you summarize his rockiness, or should I wait until it’s on line?

  26. 26.

    chrome agnomen

    going to New Zealand for a couple of months this winter from san francisco. what is the most cost-effective method for storing/garaging a car in the area?

  27. 27.

    LanceThruster

    Clouseau: Facts, Hercule, facts! Nothing matters but the facts. Without them the science of criminal investigation is nothing more than a guessing game.

    Clouseau: I believe everything and I believe nothing. I suspect everyone and I suspect no one.

  28. 28.

    WaterGirl

    @kindness: A friend of mine tossed an entire ear of corn to my dog at a party a few weeks ago. By the time I walked outside and realized what was going on, Tucker had consumed nearly the entire thing.

    Fast forward to puking at 4am. Puking at 6:30 am. Puking at 8am. Skip a day, more puking in the morning. Skip another day, more puking, this time the part of the ear he puked up was black. Skip one more day, the last of the ear of corn was out.

    Fast forward to this week: Tucker eating the plastic off the wheels of my suitcase.

    He’s 13 months old, I’m sure this will end soon. :-)

    Edit: lest anyone think I am an irresponsible pet owner, each time he puked up a piece of the cob and then he was fine, eating, drinking, pooping.

    Too much information? :-)

  30. 30.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @lamh35:

    Your link isn’t working for me, but no worries, I’ll track it down.

    Sunrise, sunset, eh?

    Malia will have her 18th birthday in July 2016, so all bets are off after then, I believe. Let’s hope she’s savvy enough to stay out of trouble, or bad optics (fake ID in a bar like the Bush twins, for instance) until after the next election. I know that sounds shallow. Pity.

  31. 31.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @lamh35:

    Your link isn’t working for me, but no worries, I’ll track it down.

    Sunrise, sunset, eh?

    Malia will have her 18th birthday in July 2016, so all bets are off after then, I believe. Let’s hope she’s savvy enough to stay out of trouble, or bad optics (fake ID in a bar like the Bush twins, for instance) until after the next election. I know that sounds shallow. Pity.

  32. 32.

    mai naem

    @lamh35: I remember when the Obama went on vacation somewhere in NE- either NH or Maine a couple of years ago(?) and Malia was almost at her dad’s height. That girl’s going to be taller than her parents. Barack’s probably going to look like a midget walking her down the aisle. She also seems to take more after her dad’s side of the family than Michelle. She definitely has some of Barack’s mom and grandma’s features. Looking at the two I would bet Malia will be the more responsible, the one who will be the perfect child and Sasha will be more trouble and take her time finding her way.

  33. 33.

    Brachiator

    @? Martin: There appears to be a Martian avatar hovering to the left of your name. Earlier, it just looked like a little text box, but now it displays very nicely.

    Very cool.

  37. 37.

    Anne Laurie

    @Mino:

    Is she your penance for sins in a past life?

    I think she’s a penalty for 20 years of looking at other peoples’ “bad dogs” and thinking, “Well, at least I’m smart enough not to get stuck with a dog like that!”

    She was supposed to be a short-term guest — just a week or two, while the breed rescue found a certified foster family, like the one she had to leave immediately when she started fighting with their retired show-girl alpha bitch, who was half her size & twice her age. This didn’t mean she was a “bad” dog, in & of itself, and our other rescue guys were almost her size and not liable to inspire challenges. By the time we realized why the organization had suggested the foster family “just have her put to sleep”, it was pretty clear we were stuck with her…

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