Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Infrastructure week. at last.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Eh, that’s media spin. biden’s health is fine and he’s doing a good job.

The willow is too close to the house.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Let there be snark.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Bleg / Angry Black Lady/Cranky White Guy 2012

Reader Interactions

87Comments

  2. 2.

    Comrade Jake

    This is going to be fun and perhaps fatal.

    I’m trying to picture an Angry Black Lady and a Cranky White Guy driving through WV in a car plastered with lefty bumper stickers.

    It could be worse, I suppose. You could be carrying a guitar and traveling via canoe.

  3. 3.

    Punchy

    White guy + Black lady driving together through the South will almost guarantee a police stop. White Guy + Black lady seen walking into hotel together in North Carolina will likely generate myriad stares and 283 calls to the front desk.

    Both of you better get your middle fingers warmed up.

  4. 4.

    JGabriel

    __
    __
    Comrade Jake:

    I’m trying to picture an Angry Black Lady and a Cranky White Guy driving through WV in a car plastered with lefty bumper stickers. It could be worse, I suppose.

    It could be South Carolina.

    .

  6. 6.

    flukebucket

    Whatever the hell you two please do stay as far away from Graham County, NC as you possibly can!

  7. 7.

    Ben Franklin

    Well, if your’e ‘fucking nuts’, we should send you to the other Convention.

    Now, that would be fun to watch and hear.

  12. 12.

    Baud

    You and Cole should end each video podcast like this:

    Cole: Say goodnight, Imani.
    ABL (looking into camera): Good night, Imani.

    That’s vaudeville classy.

  16. 16.

    Comrade Mary

    So do you take Canadian Tire money?

    Non?

    Oh well, I dumped a few bucks in PayPal to pay for the podcasts.

  18. 18.

    Ivan Ivanovich Renko

    I hadda kick in a few shekels at the Paypal– “Good night, Imani,” indeed.

    This is going to be FUN!

  21. 21.

    RosiesDad

    We have a close friend who is black who is married to a very fair skinned white woman and they live happily and peacefully with their kids in a suburb of Charlotte. So I am certain that there will be no problem with ABL escorting Mr. Cole to the DNC.

  22. 22.

    Villago Delenda Est

    I hope you two document this entire adventure, because it will make a great screenplay treatment.

    “ABL and CWG on the Road to Charlotte”

  23. 23.

    General Stuck

    I just listened to Rinse Repeat on Jansing, painting Akin as worse than the devil for “being biologically stupid”. When asked about the fact the GOP platform includes the no excuse language for abortion, even in cases of rape, incest, whatevs. Rinse just waved the bloody towel and declared, details, smetails.

    These people are beyond deranged. A convention of malevolent clowns, plotting the destruction of planet earth as we have known it, trading it for the Lord’s Casiino, and a bank to be named later.

  24. 24.

    Culture of Truth

    WE’RE GONNA NEED A BIGGGER BUCKET OF POPCORN

    Ben Quayle told Fox News “I was able to go in, properly attired …and swim very briefly in the Sea of Galilee and actually was able to take a little vial of water home to baptize my daughter with water from the Sea of Galilee,” Quayle said on Fox.

    Asked whether he had been drinking, Quayle said he had “a glass of wine” and added that “there was no inappropriate or unusual behavior that I saw.” “I was in the water for 30 seconds at most,” he added later.

    Quayle’s opponent, Rep. David Schweikert (R-Ariz.), said Monday that he was “disappointed, but not surprised, given Congressman Quayle’s history.” A ampaign spokesman said Schweikert was referring to Quayle’s admission two years ago that he once used a pseudonym while writing for an adult-themed Web site.

    Asked about Schweikert’s comments on Fox, Quayle called his opponent “a professional liar.”

  25. 25.

    JGabriel

    __
    __
    RosiesDad:

    We have a close friend who is black who is married to a very fair skinned white woman and they live happily and peacefully with their kids in a suburb of Charlotte.

    I don’t think it’s Charlotte that people are worried about so much as some of the more rural areas of NC they’ll be driving through to get there.

    On the other hand, 40% of West Virginia’s Democrats cast their primary votes for a convict rather than vote for a black president, so it’s possible those problems will start a couple states north of NC.

    .

  27. 27.

    different-church-lady

    What’s the over/under on how many times Cole kicks you out of the room and then reinstates you?

  29. 29.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Culture of Truth:

    Oh, gawd, this is an incredible tempest in a teapot.

    The Rethugs are engaged in this bitter hand to hand combat over this bullshit?

    Meanwhile, TPM reports that the REAL reason the FBI was asking questions had nothing at all to do with the excitement by the shores of Galilee, but instead with a R congressman from Staten Island not bothering to report financing for a trip to Cyprus that occurred in conjunction with this junket.

  30. 30.

    Cassidy

    @Baud: Oh no. That’s how it starts. Couple of guys, some chicks, and some intoxicate of their choice going away to some big concert/event/ camping and then something breaks down on the drive through some *rural part of the country and next thing you know you’re being eaten by an inbred, hillbilly cannibal. Or a shark.

    *WV to NC….might as well hang a fresh meat sign on the car.

  32. 32.

    Violet

    Just want to point out that Tropical Depression 9, which will probably become Hurricane Isaac in the next couple of days, is a potential threat. From Bryan Norcross of The Weather Channel:

    Included in the reasonable tracks is a threat to the Tampa Bay area next week when the Republican Convention is planned. Tricky business.

    Y’all have fun and stay safe!

  33. 33.

    RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist

    @Punchy:

    “White Guy + Black lady seen walking into hotel together in North Carolina will likely generate myriad stares and 283 calls to the front desk.”

    I’ve been in that very situation in Charlotte and that’s not what I found. I think context is important, and Charlotte’s pretty cosmopolitan. I was surprised to find little difference in how we were treated between Detroit and Charlotte. However in NC there was casual n-bombing when just us white folks were around, and that disappeared in MI cities 30+ years ago.

  34. 34.

    burnspbesq

    @RosiesDad:

    I am certain that there will be no problem with ABL escorting Mr. Cole to the DNC.

    As long as neither of them is wearing a Duke t-shirt. Charlotte is hard-core Tarhole country.

  36. 36.

    The Dangerman

    Go to the nicest place in Charlotte and claim to be from Rolling Stone, in town to interview Michael Jackson; then, you’ll get a sweet suite and the hijinks (or not so high jinks) can begin.

  39. 39.

    Baud

    @Cassidy:

    Or a shark.

    Killer sharks on the road from West Virginia to North Carolina…

    That would be an AWESOME movie

    Jaws: Evolution.
    This time…it’s Darwinian

  41. 41.

    Cassidy

    @Baud: Did you see Shark Night? Suspension of facts, science, and belief are assumed the moment you’ve consumed enough alcohol to decide to watch it. It didn’t even try.

  44. 44.

    Baud

    @Cassidy:

    Did you see Shark Night? Suspension of facts, science, and belief are assumed the moment you’ve consumed enough alcohol to decide to watch it.

    So Shark Night is a documentary about the GOP primary debates?

  46. 46.

    gogol's wife

    Good, thank you for the snail mail option. I’ll be contributing. This will be the most fun I’ve had out of a convention since I saw Buckley & Gore go at it live on TV in 1968.

  48. 48.

    RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist

    Trip documentation suggestion: photos taken alongside every tacky roadside attraction. Because I love America in all it’s naive, lurid tastelesness.

  54. 54.

    AHH onna Droid

    Call me stupid, and possibly the last person on the planet to figure this out, but in the spirit of It’s Always Projection, isn’t the fear of black men raping white women a reaction to the certain knowledge that white men had raped black women with impunity for years and the products of these rapes walked among them? I could go on but I think thats it in a nutshell. That and the alleged black sexual license. My reaction has always been defensive, well what do you expect when you tear apart families and send all the young men to prison? Foolish misdirection. The real issue is the insanely hypocritical and unquestioned white heterosexual male sexual license.

    Hmmm, free thesis idea, take this analysis and apply it to Invisible Man.

  56. 56.

    different-church-lady

    @Comrade Jake:

    I’m trying to picture an Angry Black Lady and a Cranky White Guy driving through WV in a car plastered with lefty bumper stickers.

    Keep in mind Cole has formal training in how to kill people.

  59. 59.

    SteveinSC

    @ABL: You got it. Or rather I got it, or something. By the way Charlotte is not known as the “Queen City of the South” for nothing. It’s a wonder the Repubs didn’t choose it. Oh, right I forgot, they’re routing all their flights through Douglas so they can stop in the Mens’ rooms, but end up in Tampa.

  63. 63.

    Sly

    @AHH onna Droid:
    Apropos of nothing, Thurgood Marshall use to tell a story about Charlie Black, the only white lawyer at the NAACP Legal Defense Fund and the lawyer who wrote the brief for Brown v. Board of Ed. During his early days there, Charlie was asked by one of the other lawyers during a meeting why he, a white guy, wanted to work with the NAACP. Charlie said that he heard a story in Texas (where he was from) that there was a secret room inside the NAACP headquarters, and on the walls of this room were thousands upon thousands of hooks, and on these hooks were the keys to the bedrooms of every white woman in Texas. And Charlie said, “When I heard that, I knew the NAACP was the place for me.”

  64. 64.

    chris

    Hey Cole/ABL-

    NC native of the hinterlands to the east of Charlotte here. And I can tell you…you will generate little interest here (unless you show up at the local fraternal boys club/KKK meeting). Compared to our neighbors to the south we are positively urbane…LOL Even in the sticks.

    All that being said I am excited to have yall and will be kicking in a few bucks. Its the least I can do for thanks for all the time I waste here at BJ.

  65. 65.

    1badbaba3

    @JGabriel: While it is true that it can pass for “the big city”, you can still see South Carolina from your porch. Instead of the giant floating head of Putin, you can use the burning cross to light your way.

    @Baud: Fat, old white guy; hot black chick. Please to be providing the brain bleach now.

  67. 67.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Hawes:

    Will the reality show of this be on C-SPAN, Lifetime or Bravo?Will the reality show of this be on C-SPAN, Lifetime or Bravo?

    BET. Duh.

  70. 70.

    1badbaba3

    @Cassidy: My self-esteem is hinky enough without the help of small (ha!) woodland creatures.

    But, oh the things you can find on these here interwebs. Yikes!

  72. 72.

    Rosalita

    Happy to kick-in for this effort. You guys better tweet, post and take pics the whole way. Finally, something to look forward to this summer…

  74. 74.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    @RosiesDad:

    So I am certain that there will be no problem with ABL escorting Mr. Cole to the DNC.

    Just stay away from Asheville.

    My hubby (white guy, blond ponytail to his waist) and his then boss (black gal, pure Church Lady material) regularly caused stirs when they went to the NC mountains for project meetings.

  79. 79.

    jl

    OK, so what is this deal again? We’re supposed to chip in for Cole’s multi-day road trip with two hot chicks, ABL and her friend?

    OK, I’m a sucker. Won’t paypal it but I’ll send in a check.

    I never thought of trying to get my friends to pay for something like that. Maybe I should give it a try.

  80. 80.

    David Franze

    A $$$ idea; have some cool tees made up with some form of the heading of this post “angry black……” and sell them to pay for the trip; I’d definitely buy one….be the height of geek political chic.

  82. 82.

    ABL

    @chris: It honestly didn’t cross my mind to be concerned. The only “incident” that comes to mind is one a waiter at a rest stop restaurant tried to seat my mom at a different table than me and my dad. When we told her we were a family, she was super embarrassed. It was highly amusing. We were in Erie, PA on our way to Ohio to drop me off at college.

  83. 83.

    TuiMel

    I hope you and ABL have an awesome time at the DNC and can’t wait to hear of your exploits!

  84. 84.

    Mnemosyne

    @ABL:

    In the UN spirit that pervades (parts of) Chicagoland these days, my husband’s cousin (mixed white/Latino/black) and his wife (100% white AFAIK) managed to produce a blond, blue-eyed little boy once all of the chromosomes finished dancing their little square dance.

    It is somewhat amusing to explain to people that, no, there was no fertility intervention and that black guy over there really did end up with a fair-skinned, blonde kid purely through the magic of genetics.

    (Adorable kid, too. I keep calling him “Harpo” because he has these tousled blond curls and big blue eyes.)

  86. 86.

    chuck butcher

    Well ABL, I’m counting on you to sweep up the broken pieces of John’s dignity and send them home with him…

    Have fun – if I could I’d kick in a lot for this.

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