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You are here: Home / Vatican Roulette

Vatican Roulette

by $8 blue check mistermix|  August 21, 20128:00 am| 52 Comments

This post is in: Assholes

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Todd Akin has to decide whether to practice the withdrawal method by the end of the day today. Since he’s a white, male Republican of retirement age, nobody is better qualified make that decision.

I think he’ll stick. PPP just published a poll taken last night showing that his race is still a dead heat, even though 79% of voters disagree with what he said (84% said they’d heard the comments [pdf]). He’s been shat upon by the Republican establishment, but talk is cheap and a Senate pickup is rare, so if he stays in, count on them to STFU.

More importantly, all good Christians who understand the taxonomy of rape (wherein “forcible” is the rarest of the rape family) are be behind him. Yesterday, Reverend Huckabee came to his defense, noting that horrible rapes have produced extraordinary people. So he can bank on getting cash from some PAC or other, even if it isn’t Karl Rove or the Republican Party.

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52Comments

  1. 1.

    TheMightyTrowel

    August 21, 2012 at 8:04 am

    Dude made the morning news down here in Oz today. I’m super proud to be an American when that happens.

  2. 2.

    jp7505a

    August 21, 2012 at 8:11 am

    Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council supports Atkins also. Isn’t that the same guy pissing and moaning about having FRC labeled a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center??? Na must be someone else. Tony is a Christian and wouldn’t say anything mean!!!!

  3. 3.

    cat48

    August 21, 2012 at 8:11 am

    He should stay in b/c all his opponents have the same beliefs he does. Their frontmen on TV are lying & trying to pretend all GOP are not like this; but it’s all in the GOP/RNC Platform for their Convention. I’d rather everyone tell the truth for a change.

  4. 4.

    Baud

    August 21, 2012 at 8:12 am

    @cat48:

    I’d rather everyone tell the truth for a change.

    I was just about to write the same thing.

  5. 5.

    Cassidy

    August 21, 2012 at 8:16 am

    He’s been shat upon by the Republican establishment

    Well, hell, it’s not like they disagree. They’re just mad he said it out loud before the election. They’ll pony up.

  6. 6.

    The Ancient Randonneur

    August 21, 2012 at 8:17 am

    Missouri being Missouri I don’t know how much this will hurt Akin’s chances, but him staying in the race will help other Democrats around the country. Bring on the culture wars. We’re right and they’re wrong. This time more of the country is on our side.

  7. 7.

    scottinnj

    August 21, 2012 at 8:20 am

    The Onion – the best paper in the country – is really nailing this

    Akin: I Misspoke—What I Meant To Say Is ‘I Am Dumb As Dog S**t And I Am A Terrible Human Being’

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-misspokewhat-i-meant-to-say-is-i-am-dumb-as-dog,29256/

    Pregnant Woman Relieved To Learn Her Rape Was Illegitimate

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/pregnant-woman-relieved-to-learn-her-rape-was-ille,29258/

  8. 8.

    Valdivia

    August 21, 2012 at 8:21 am

    @cat48:

    Exactly.

    I am just hoping he sticks it out and at least makes it past the deadline tonight so if he leaves later it will be more complicated. But mostly I want him to stay long enough for the GOP to pay for holding these beliefs. Since they put the ‘life begins at conception’ amendment into their plank this means more attention will be paid to the issue.

  9. 9.

    Schlemizel

    August 21, 2012 at 8:23 am

    You failed to note that this slurry of genetic waste will be the new junior Senator from Missouri next January. His affect of races around the country will be negligible as he will be well forgotten by November. Planted in the Senate with the other recent crackpots that have stumbled in he will be well placed to damage this country for a couple of decades at least.

  10. 10.

    Donut

    August 21, 2012 at 8:25 am

    He’s staying in for now. It’s all about cash going forward. If he can continue raising money, he will never get out. Apparently McCaskill is hated that much. No overt support from the national party apparatus will make it harder. Maybe someone else from the MO GOP who is actually skilled at pretending to not hate vaginas and uteri will jump in and split votes. I don’t love McCaskill, but I’ll take her over any Republican.

    Also too: Mike Huckabee is a failure at humanity.

  11. 11.

    jak

    August 21, 2012 at 8:26 am

    He’ll stay in and he will probably win.

    josh marshall:

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/2012/08/oh_i_think_he_may_be_staying.php?ref=fpblg

  12. 12.

    jwb

    August 21, 2012 at 8:30 am

    @The Ancient Randonneur: I suspect it turns an easy GOP win into a fight—so there is that. PPP shows no change from its previous polling, but they already had the race much closer than the other polls I’d seen. Some tweets I saw yesterday indicated that Akin’s 10 point lead had been shaved in half. Even in political situation like we have today where the votes of the vast majority of people are already set, I’d be surprised if a revelation like this didn’t soften support for Akin, even if it does not translate (yet) to support for McCaskill. This is an opportunity for McCaskill, but she still has to make something of it. Nothing that she has said has yet percolated up to my news feeds, so I can’t say she inspires much confidence that she will be able to effectively exploit this.

  13. 13.

    Jay in Oregon

    August 21, 2012 at 8:31 am

    Todd Akin has to decide whether to practice the withdrawal method by the end of the day today. Since he’s a white, male Republican of retirement age, nobody is better qualified make that decision.

    Just dropped in to say that this is TBogg-worthy snark. Well done!

  14. 14.

    JPL

    August 21, 2012 at 8:33 am

    Akin tried to justify his belief that abortion should be outlawed under all circumstances. This is Ryan’s belief and it’s in the platform of the Republican Party. The problem with Akin is “he’s a dumb shit”.

  15. 15.

    jwb

    August 21, 2012 at 8:34 am

    @Schlemizel: Seriously, it’s not as if any other GOP candidate who won would be any better. The party is a far, far bigger problem at this point than any particular individual who is elected.

  16. 16.

    Valdivia

    August 21, 2012 at 8:34 am

    As they were saying on twitter yesterday: hope the GOP is forced to carry this MOFO to term.

  17. 17.

    Chris

    August 21, 2012 at 8:44 am

    @Donut:

    This. I loathed just about all the Republican candidates of 2008, but Huckabee really was something else. Once again I fall back on the quote of a fellow Balloon Juicer, that Huckabee was the kind of person I could totally see herding non Christians onto cattle cars if he could get away with it.

  18. 18.

    dmsilev

    August 21, 2012 at 8:45 am

    @Valdivia: I liked the descriptive phrase I saw yesterday: “The men who stare at zygotes”.

  19. 19.

    JGabriel

    August 21, 2012 at 8:47 am

    __
    __
    mistermix @ top:

    Todd Akin has to decide whether to practice the withdrawal method by the end of the day today.

    If Akin stays in but doesn’t go to term, does that mean he was raping his constituents?

    .

  20. 20.

    MattF

    August 21, 2012 at 8:49 am

    I think, as has been noted, that the issue with Akin goes well beyond the State of Misery. Dems want social issues to be front and center and with good reason– not least because on social issues, the Village Media actually gets it, mostly.

  21. 21.

    JGabriel

    August 21, 2012 at 8:50 am

    He’p me, he’p me, I been modereratered, and I don’t know why!

  22. 22.

    Zifnab25

    August 21, 2012 at 8:53 am

    It’s funny to watch the GOP run around the room with the conversation. First, Akin is against abortion. Then he qualifies that with “but not abortion in the event of rape”. Then he qualifies that with “of course, we have to make sure the rape is legitimate”. Seriously, how can anyone with functioning ovaries vote for this man?

    If two yahoos on a “news” show were having a conversation about which men were allowed vasectomies or viagra, and they proceeded into this level of gory detail, they would be off my ticket.

  23. 23.

    Zifnab25

    August 21, 2012 at 8:54 am

    It’s funny to watch the GOP run around the room with the conversation. First, Akin is against abortion. Then he qualifies that with “but not abortion in the event of rape”. Then he qualifies that with “of course, we have to make sure the rape is legitimate”. Seriously, how can anyone with functioning ovaries vote for this man?

    If two yahoos on a “news” show were having a conversation about which men were allowed vasectomies or dick pills, and they proceeded into this level of gory detail, they would be off my ticket.

  24. 24.

    John

    August 21, 2012 at 8:58 am

    Why is everyone saying that Akin is probably/definitely going to win?

    It was a dead heat before this, and this can’t possibly help Akin (anyone who isn’t offended was going to vote for him anyway).

    If he stays in the race, he’s going to have a tough time, whatever an instant poll taken yesterday might say.

  25. 25.

    Baud

    August 21, 2012 at 9:02 am

    @John:

    Why is everyone saying that Akin is probably/definitely going to win?

    Akin has a fair shot of winning

    + liberal pessimism

    = Akin is probably/definitely going to win

  26. 26.

    jwb

    August 21, 2012 at 9:12 am

    @John: Most polls had Akin up by double digits before this. PPP had the race even, so it’s something of an outlier (with a fairly steep Dem lean). But PPP showed little change, so I believe the thinking is that the race has not been materially affected by the comments. Personally, I don’t think that’s the case, but it still requires McCaskill to make something of the race, and so far she’s been conspicuously absent the past couple of days, and it really makes me wonder if she knows what the hell she’s doing.

  27. 27.

    mai naem

    August 21, 2012 at 9:12 am

    @jwb: McCaskill can’t come across as too enthusiastic at having Akin screw up and be her opponent until tonight. I think you’ll see a bunch of ads and comments once it’s clear he’s staying. I personally find McCaskill really annoying but at least she’s no Manchin. BTW, Lieberman had the balls to call out Reid on the Romney tax thing. And I saw the interview with Chuck Todd where he said he wasn’t sure who he was going to endorse for president. Ungrateful ashole.

  28. 28.

    MattF

    August 21, 2012 at 9:15 am

    Via TPM, it says here:

    http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=be5d9bf6-7675-4341-920a-8fcb71d9e9de&utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

    that even in Missouri, 58% of independents think he should withdraw from the race. That can’t be good news.

  29. 29.

    quannlace

    August 21, 2012 at 9:18 am

    But can he stay without funding? Rove’s moneybags and others have pulled out of Missouri. Course they can always come back if they think the dust has settled.
    ***********
    Jeez, Huckabee. So if I really want an extrodianry, super baby, I guess I should arrange to get raped.

  30. 30.

    Patricia Kayden

    August 21, 2012 at 9:20 am

    @The Ancient Randonneur: True. Akin will probably still win if he stays in the race. I’ve heard he has until 5:00 pm today to decide whether or not to stay in. He’s already added to the Republican “war on women” meme. Good going, Akin!

  31. 31.

    jwb

    August 21, 2012 at 9:20 am

    @mai naem: Who the hell cares about Lieberman? I’m sure neither Reid nor the President do. I really don’t give a fuck about McCaskill’s blue dog idiocy, since she’d be about a gazillion times better than the best Republican. And maybe she’s gamed this out to get past 5 today—though she’s never struck me as someone with any kind of strategic plan. I get more the sense that she’s simply reactive and doesn’t know what the fuck to make of this or how to exploit it. But we’ll see. I’ll happily eat my words if she’s in fact just waiting for the right moment.

  32. 32.

    WereBear

    August 21, 2012 at 9:23 am

    Yesterday, Reverend Huckabee came to his defense, noting that horrible rapes have produced extraordinary people.

    Oh, yeah, that Huckster is such a fine upstandin’ KKKRistian preacher talk show man!

    Now if I ever do meet him, I’ll have to spit on him. Thanks a bunch.

  33. 33.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    August 21, 2012 at 9:23 am

    Starts to make one wonder about the polling. So many time the results are unchanged it’s starting to sound like something is wrong with the polling methods.

  34. 34.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    August 21, 2012 at 9:27 am

    And here is Survey USA saying their result is the voters want Akins to quit the race

    http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=be5d9bf6-7675-4341-920a-8fcb71d9e9de&utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

  35. 35.

    Chris

    August 21, 2012 at 9:31 am

    @WereBear:

    I’ve been primed to spit on him ever since he said that the entire Palestinian nation should just pick up and leave for Egypt or Jordan because they’re disturbing the Israeli right to lebensraum, or something. Ethnic cleansing is no big deal to him, so I doubt if rape is.

  36. 36.

    jwb

    August 21, 2012 at 9:34 am

    @Enhanced Voting Techniques: PPP is pretty reliable and if anything leans Democratic. What’s odd in this poll is that the top number remained virtually unchanged despite the fact that the unfavorables changed considerably. I read that as softening of support for Akin, but clearly there is also already a high level of disapproval for McCaskill. I don’t really understand the dynamics of MO politics to understand why she’d generate that much distaste. The high disapproval of GOP voters makes sense, but even a good chunk of so-called independent voters seem to hate her with unusual passion.

  37. 37.

    WereBear

    August 21, 2012 at 9:39 am

    @Chris: Well, yeah, one would have to keep a spreadsheet of reasons to keep the ranking straight.

    Like his “joke” about assassination and President Obama. That’s on my list.

  38. 38.

    Paul in KY

    August 21, 2012 at 9:44 am

    Horrible rapes have also produced horrible people.

  39. 39.

    1badbaba3

    August 21, 2012 at 9:52 am

    I know it is all cool an’ shit to be all flip and pessimistic, but this hurts them. This hurts them a great deal. And while it is not a killing blow, it is yet another slice for their “death of a thousand cuts” thang they have been working on the past four years. Every little bit helps.

  40. 40.

    blondie

    August 21, 2012 at 9:57 am

    @scottinnj: Oh, The Onion, I “heart” you.

  41. 41.

    Linda Featheringill

    August 21, 2012 at 10:00 am

    @jak:

    I saw that video. It is quite good.

  42. 42.

    Linda Featheringill

    August 21, 2012 at 10:13 am

    I suspect that Akin has lost a big proportion of the independents, although the hardcore Republicans will remain on his side. McCaskill probably has a better chance than before, but it’ll still be an uphill battle.

    Regarding her silence on the other hand, she did say something appropriately disapproving right after the Akin comment hit the news. Maybe she’s waiting to see what he does today. At any rate, it might be good PR to say you’re waiting on Akin when you are in fact realigning all of your weapons and setting up different tactics.

    But then, I’m an optimist.

  43. 43.

    Chris

    August 21, 2012 at 10:15 am

    @WereBear:

    Whoa! I don’t remember that.

  44. 44.

    ottercliff

    August 21, 2012 at 10:17 am

    @Cassidy: But no one is demanding that he resign his House seat! What he said is too terrible for the Senate, but apparently plenty fine for the house. Or is too terrible for a seat they covet but not too terrible for a seat they already own?

  45. 45.

    WereBear

    August 21, 2012 at 10:29 am

    @Chris: Here you go:

    Huckabee jokes about Obama ducking a gunman

    And there’s that thing where he let someone out of prison because he’d gotten born again; who went on to murder people.

    Such a fine upstanding Republican.

  46. 46.

    Origuy

    August 21, 2012 at 11:10 am

    Nate Silver just tweeted that if Akins tries to withdraw after today, he’d need court approval, but 4 of 6 Missouri Supreme Court justices were appointed by Democrats.

    I don’t know if he means they’d make him stay in thinking he’d lose or let him go because they think he’s scum. Anyway, I think if he doesn’t do it today, he won’t do it.

  47. 47.

    Mnemosyne

    August 21, 2012 at 11:27 am

    @WereBear:

    Clearly, Huckabee’s only problem with Wayne Dumond was that Dumond murdered his victims after raping them, thus preventing the Baby Jeebus from gifting them with a baby.

    Also, I have another rant building — WTF is up with Republicans trying to force self-sacrifice on people through the government? I mean, yes, it’s an amazing story when a woman is able to overcome her feelings about her rape and towards her rapist and decides she wants to continue her pregnancy after all, but very, very few people are able to do that and keep their sanity. Why the hell do Republicans want to force women into those circumstances in the off-chance that a handful of them might be able to do it?

  48. 48.

    Yutsano

    August 21, 2012 at 11:32 am

    @Origuy: I think he’s in. He released an ad trying to backtrack the entire affair but refuse to subject you to the Hufflepuff link.

    @Mnemosyne:

    Why the hell do Republicans want to force women into those circumstances in the off-chance that a handful of them might be able to do it?

    Becuz TEH BEBEHS!! Don’t you care about TEH BEBEHS you psychopathic freak? Their only concern is with the developing blastocyst. How it was created is irrelevant to them. This concern expires one second after birth.

  49. 49.

    WereBear

    August 21, 2012 at 11:36 am

    @Mnemosyne: I think it is because their religion is based on gritting their teeth and doing whatever gawd asks of you and dealing with whatever gawd puts on you.

    They have painted themselves in a corner with their theology. On one level, the Diety is omniscient and all-powerful, so he has reasons of his own for everything and a person is not supposed to question. In addition, Evangelicals are on their upteenth round of I’m-holier-than-thou, and the list of things they are actually able to do at all, much less for pleasure, keeps shrinking. This must be what is planned for us.

    All to avoid the eternal Lake of Fire.

  50. 50.

    scav

    August 21, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    I’ve wanted to say this since yesterday so here goes in a dead thread. Oh Huckabee, Huckleberrybeebee! So horrible rapes have produced extraordinary people? Well, legitimate marriages have produced the bulk of real bottom-of-the-barrel shits. So you’d agree to dump marriage?

  51. 51.

    replicnt6

    August 21, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Yesterday, Reverend Huckabee came to his defense, noting that horrible rapes have produced extraordinary people.

    Wait. I’m confused. I thought horrible rapes don’t produce pregnancies at all, much less extraordinary people.

  52. 52.

    James E. Powell

    August 21, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    From the get-go, I’ve seen Akin as holding all the cards. It’s not like the Republicans can afford to abandon him if he stays in.

    And at his age, at this stage of his career, what can they offer him if he does what they want? He doesn’t need wing-nut welfare. As of this week, he is a martyr for the right-wing Christians. They will take care of him and his forever.

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