I know exactly what y’all are thinking: “How in the hell is Betty going to find an evacuation shelter that will take two dogs and seven chickens?”
Oh, wait. You were laughing about the possibility of the Republicans fleeing the convention site in terror? Heartless bastards! Please consider this an open thread.[X-posted at Rumproast]
I just can’t stop laughing over the realization that this will be the second Republican presidential convention in a row to be threatened by a hurricane. I mean, seriously, what are the odds?
Well, the wind is blowin’ harder now
Fifty knots of there abouts,
There’s white caps on the ocean.
And I’m watching for water spouts
It’s time to close the shutters
It’s time to go inside.
In a week I’ll be in gay Paris
Pat Robertson told me that God sends natural disasters to smite evil-doers.
We’ll soon know if Pat was right.
Tryin to reason
c u n d gulag
Normally, I don’t wish anything bad on anyone – but, I might make an exception in this case.
I want EVERY second of every loony-tunes speech broadcast on national TV.
Someone is bound to commit another ‘Akinism,’ or say the “N-word.”
I’d hate for people to miss those moments because some of the nut’s speeches got cancelled because God has decided to punish them with a hurricane.
Too many innocent people. Even if Florida.
Do you know of shelter to which you could go with all the animals? Do you have storm shutters on your windows and a back-up generator?
I have friends who moved to Florida some years ago and have made sure they were able to survive storms without too many problems. I hope that there aren’t problems over the next few weeks.
(I’d love it if the convention got rained on but I feel for the locals more.)
Obama should just confess that he’s been praying for God to enlighten the GOP.
Think of all the medical care you can get with those chickens. At least, unlike turkeys, they won’t drown in a puddle.
Betty Cracker @ Top:
Given how quickly Republicans are running from Todd Akins and their own anti-choice rhetoric, maybe no one will notice if you sneak your chickens in wherever the rest of the GOP chickens are sheltering?
Even the jungle wanted him dead.
If the wingers de-fund NOAA, then– no more worries. Hurricane prediction can be purchased on the free market. And, even better, due to the benificent operation of the Invisible Hand, you’ll only get optimistic predictions, no more librul doom and gloom.
Not at all. I was considering the supreme irony of having them all trapped in the hall for a few days just like the poor of New Orleans.
Tampa Mayor Bob Buckhorn told CNN’s Early Start Wednesday that “politics will take second place” to public safety if a storm hits the bay area. Asked whether authorities would be prepared to call off the convention’s proceedings if a storm threatened on a particular night, Buckhorn said, “Absolutely we’re prepared to call it off.”
comrade scott's agenda of rage
I have a close friend who lives on St Croix. Hopefully they won’t get too hammered.
well it’s cause and effect you see, the Republicans are causing a massive sucking effect by the mere congregation of soulless folks which is leading to the result of actually drawing the storm towards them. With luck, and the national media with assorted village punditry in attendance, perhaps the almighty will throw us a bone here and turn Isaac into a category 7 and leave few survivors in its wake. Then we’d be on the hook to the good people of Tampa who died due to divine retribution but then again, that’s just what my tax dollars are for.
Clearly, whatever Forces that control such matters are taking aim at the sinful strip clubs and not the Republican party…
…though those Forces might consider it a 2 for 1 (3 for 1 is it hits while Mitt or Paul is getting a lap dance).
Paging DougJ, paging DougJ.
Tom Friedman would like to speak to you, about some very serious ideas: http://wonkette.com/481741/tom-friedman-bravely-calls-for-conservative-party-to-basically-do-everything-obamas-done
Tampa Mayor: City ‘Prepared’ To Call Off Convention In Event Of Dangerous Weather.
@different-church-lady: Poetic justice as far as I’m concerned. I hope they get stuck in the convention center for days.
@Mnemosyne: Almost as though God is trying to get them back for something. *cough* Katrina *cough*
I’m actually envisioning them to be holed up in the arena like the people of New Orleans were without electricity, water or food, and not allowed to leave.
A girl can dream, can’t she?
If the hurricane hits the convention, am I a bad person for wanting to point and laugh Nelson Muntz style?
At least it’ll cut down on the forays to all those strip-clubs
Right wingers often cite natural disasters as God’s punishment for something or other. I think that’s just superstition, but if Isaac centerpunches the Republican Convention I might reconsider. However, a hurricane named after a woman might have even worked better. Maybe Joyce will do a quick follow up.
@Mnemosyne: They increased the odds themselves by scheduling a convention in Florida when they know it has to happen in late August. At least they didn’t pick Key West, I guess.
As long as the GOP keeps fighting to block global warming prevention measures, then holding their conventions in the hurricane-prone South — during hurricane season — to shore up their race-baiting Southern Strategy, I’d say the odds are pretty high.
Just go trade in the chickens for health care.
@Mark B.: Maybe Akin was the last straw– She’s pissed.
While I want a gaggle of old, fat, and stupid Teabaggers to have to huddle in the conventions space like un-real Americans had to do during Katrina, I don’t know if I could take the weeks of fawning media coverage over how brave they all were, and how none of them asked for a government handout the whole time.
So, if the hurricane just strikes them all dead, I guess we all win.
If they do all get trapped in the convention center, can I advise them that they’d better grow gills rather than expect the government to rescue them?
I ran the numbers and predict a cone of hot air provided by he GOP in Tampa will deflect Isaac back out to sea, via epistemic closure rule #69 ocurring when blow hards and gas bags of similar difference, collide willy nilly in nature.
Your chickens are safe, provided you keep them away from drunk republicans on the prowl for some action.
I don’t know. Isaac seems kind of serendipitous. I can think of a few reasons that work for me:
1) Issac Newton: as a contributor to algebra and calculus, and the laws of motion and other such things, it would be awesome to see a force of nature crush an anti-science conclave.
2) Isaac Asimov, for the same reasons.
3) Isaac Hayes, because why not?
Eat the damn chickens. You have 4 days. Tamara should have no problem getting you recipes.
I’d start with Chicken with 40 cloves. I’d close with Coq au vin, and probably take care of all the other vin in the house while I’m at it.
Chris de Burgh “Waiting for the Hurricane”
@Mark B.: Exactly right. If this were the situation for the Democrat convention, all you would hear from the right is, “GOD IS STRIKING DOWN THOSE HEATHENS!!!!”
But, it’s not. It’s happening to the Republicans….again. They will be spinning this faster than a hurricane.
This puts me in mind of that Florida Blue county/Red county map that made the rounds on the Intertubes way back in ought-four.
@Shrillhouse: That was my thought too.
But I’m probably sure that the Divine judgment angle for natural disasters is only applicable if gays are involved.
Heretic. If they defund NOAA, there will be no more hurricanes.
Stay safe, Betty.
In my dream a sheriff is on the Sunshine Skyway threatening to shoot the first Republican that sets foot on it.
@comrade scott’s agenda of rage: Ugh, yeah.
My late and much-missed aunt lived in the USVI. When I went to visit five years after Hugo, there were still blue tarps everywhere.
Don’t worry, it’s just Mother Nature’s tubes going spasticn at the thought of all that teabagger, rapist of the earth spermatozoa.
If the storm goes to the Gulf side (80% chance I’d guess), there’s about a 90% chance they get some real bad weather in Tampa. Either it comes ashore to the sourth, in which case they’re on the dirty side of the storm, or its a direct hit, or they get sidewiped as it goes north.
If the thing hits Tampa early in the week, do they still try to hold the convention during the clean up? I read someplace that Tampa hasn’t had a big hurricane in ~90 years; it could be a bit of a mess.
Wait a second. Won’t the Invisible Hand of the free market provide? In other words, let the bidding on seats on evac vehicles begin.
If you do the Google, there seems to be a lot of information about preparing your chicks for a hurricane.
Serves them right!
Now, now, boys and girls …
Climate Change is just a Theory …
Actually, my first thought was about you, your pups, your chickens and few other friends who live in the danger zone. Last I heard though, my weather obsessed tweep is muttering about wind shear and it’s not going to develop into a real hurricane after all.
So entirely possible massive national snarking creates wind shear and will spare everyone. IOW, carry on. Please.
Don’t worry, that will never happen: within the first half hour they’d be squealing like pigs for the National Guard and FEMA assistance.
where’s Barbara Bush when you need her?
Diophantus and Gottfried Leibniz would like a word with you.
Hey, that works perfectly. The Republicans totally think Obama is Shaft. They haven’t figured out that he’s Ben Sisko.
I fixed it. I noticed my mistake really quickly. Multitasking does not lend to good commenting.
danah gaz (fka gaz)
After consulting with Pat Robertson, I’ve concluded that this is happening because the GOP is full of closet-case homosexuals.
ETA: Oops, it looks like Wonkette beat me to it. =)
So a 72% chance.
@Litlebritdifrnt: Sounds like Caroline’s Spine, The Sullivans
@JGabriel: Zackly. It couldn’t have happened any other way.
@Tonybrown74: I’m not even sure it’s a real map. Looks awfully climate science-y.
I’m as near atheism as agnosticism gets, and I know there are a lot atheists and fellow agnostics here as well.
If Isaac does manage to wipe out the GOP leadership and conventioneers in a biblical deluge of divine fury, can we all agree to call it an “Act of God”?
Just because of how much it’ll piss off the surviving fundies and conservatives?
@Darkrose: shut yo mouth
This WILL happen if there is a hurricane. No doubt about it. I’d rather hear people talking about what Romney wants to do to Medicare and Abortion Rights than how brave he is for riding out a hurricane.
QED. Hurricanes evolved to be attracted to the presence of rich superior men like Romney (and minions).
And then after Rick Scott flies them back home, they’ll go back to screaming about how they did too “build that”.
Just think of it as Newton’s revenge for their anti-science policies and you’ll see how well it works.
Any chance the stranded conventioneers would be blocked from escape by well-armed sherriffs at the bridge? Those People need to be kept in their place, you know. All they do is loot the public treasury.
They’ll be on the dirty side of the storm where all of the rain is. If you’re in a flood-prone area, it’s a nasty place to be. Houston tends to go underwater during those times.
Watching the Cone of Uncertainity narrow over the next few days will be interesting. The models are starting to converge nicely.
I’m not hoping for loss of human (or any other kind of) life. I’m just praying that some of the most high-ranking Repubs will decide to ride it out in strip clubs with bottles of cheap vodka (that aren’t cheap…because they’re in strip clubs) and we get video that makes the Secret Service Colombian Caper look like a Sunday school service.
Well, it’s a good thing that they didn’t suspend “concealed carry” during the convention, because all those concealed weapons are going to come in really handy if republicans start to panic because of a hurricane.
Edit: greedy cowards + guns + natural disaster = not good
Hurricanes almost never hit gatherings of legitimate patriots.
I’d consider having that many
conservativeslying assholes in one place to be worse than a tropical storm.
And in mine, the press spreads crazy rumors about all the drug use, rape, and murder among the convention goers that the whole country buys lock, stock, and barrel. It permanently mars the image of the Republican party even though it’s completely false.
I’m praying for the doggies and chickens and Betty to be okay. I won’t say what else I’m praying for.
@Jeff Spender: You forgot the real reason – Isaac’s storm – the name of a book about the 1900 Galveston hurricane.
@gnomedad: Nice work there.
I like the thought of Betty sneaking dogs and chickens into a hotel room. It’s very…Muppets.
Carol from CO
Maybe there is a God after all.
They’re Republicans: why would you think such reports would be false?
That’s a possibility for sure. Also possible is that it goes much further west than forecast right now. Take a look at Hurricane Ike’s track for an idea of one of the scenarios.
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
Isaac is just further proof that the weather has a liberal bias.
@WaterGirl: Beat me to it.
Of course, although they may want to, they can’t blame this on Obama. Since this is an act of God, blaming it on Obama would indicate Obama had an in with God, which destroys almost everything else they say about him.
Of course, this is supposed to come in on Monday, a slow convention day and when Biden is supposed to be in Tampa. They’ll probably say God sent Isaac due to Joe’s presence.
Am I the only one who suspects the hurricane-defying strip club runs everyone here knows will happen will peak after the speech of this year’s Sarah Palin’s stand-in angry old white dude fluffer, Nikki Haley?
Damn it. You’re probably right. Romney could drink orange juice all day while cowering on a high Florida balcony watching the little people drown, and the media would call him a hero.
I guess we should pray for gaffes and sunlight.
And my immediate thought is of the Foster Farms ads.
well they might have to share the convention center with some of “those” people if shelter is needed…. heh talk about up close and personal with potential voters.
I’m looking forward breathlessly to an interviewer asking Robertson’s take on the timing and path of will-be Hurricane Isaac vs the GOP Convention, especially if Tampa does indeed take a significant hit from it during the Convention. Such a wonderfully Biblical name for the storm too; what, if any parallel lesson for today might Robertson take from that (since preachers are always looking to gin up parallels from the Bible to contemporary life as fodder for sermons)? Of course, if Isaac fizzles or misses Tampa entirely, doubtless he’ll spin that as a sign of God’s mercy and approval of the GOP.
@rdldot: Saw this comment on the Washington Post, and loved it:
I can hear the news reports now: “Isaac has now passed through Haiti and Cuba and some hundreds of deaths are reported but BREAKING NEWS HURRICANE ISAAC NOW PACKING 120 MPH WINDS AND HEADED STRAIGHT FOR PAUL RYAN’S HAIR!!! WILL NO ONE THINK OF THE HAIR?!?!”
Actually unless those upper floor windows have storm shutters, people don’t want to stay up high. If the wind is very strong they could lose windows and be flooded.
Edit: greedy cowards + guns + natural disaster =
not goodDarwinian wet dream.
So what have we got for the one-ring circus in Tampa thus far?
1) At least $50 million in a federal money grant to Tampa for ‘security.’ At least 60 surveillance cameras to be installed outside. Concealed carry permitted outside, in the land of “stand your ground.”
2) Forced busing
3) Enough dark wood to construct multiple boardrooms as pictured in Executive Suite.
4) A platform that apparently has its dimensions delineated in cubits.
5) A speakers roster that includes a chump, a grump and a Trump.
6) A possible hit from a major storm named Isaac. Isaac derives from the ancient Hebrew for “He laughs.” (citation)
@Heliopause: Between Ryan and Romney, how much hairspray do they need, I wonder.
Good point. Also the weight of the water can propel them onto the stage. Kind of like Peter Pan.
Too funny. I remember when the announced it people were saying, why in the world would you hold a convention in the sweltering heat of Florida in August during the height of hurricane season.
Hey! I’ll have you know my primary concern was over the welfare of y’all including the hens!
@c u n d gulag:
An evil part of me fantasizes about hacking the teleprompter system.
Man-oh-man. This one is really gonna throw Grover Norquist for a loop.
(the fact that these loons find government to be the solution to their delusions is just extra special sauce on top)
Though, in all fairness, in this case I could see it making sense if armed citizens blocked their access to bridges out of town to keep their neighborhoods from being polluted by the Rethuglican human dreck on the move.
Maybe someone can run a story about their niggardly ways and watch them falling over themselves denying it rather than embracing the depiction.
Remember when Stuart Shepard of Focus On The Family did a video where he asked if it would be wrong for torrential rains of Biblical proportions to drown out Obama at the 2008 DNC confab? Remember that?
Hey Stuart Shepard: God is answering you right now.
Sure everybody complains about the weather, but nobody ever does anything about it.
Bus in more Republicans?
@Brian: Someone paid someone else, and got good convention rates on hotels at that time.
Or ya know, remember 2008? When a hurricane forced the GOP to scale back their convention plans and the media to leave Minneapolis?
Two conventions in a row, what are the odds???
Or ya know, what @Mnemosyne said an hour ago ….
I don’t even need a video. I’d just like to see some Jimmy Swaggart faces in tearful, tortured agony confessing —
“I have sinned against You, my Lord, and I would ask that Your Precious Blood would wash and cleanse every stain until it is in the seas of God’s forgiveness, not to be remembered against me anymore.”[
Tampa Bay could stand-in for the Sea of Galilee.
One question, if their/there/they’re Rascals short out in the deluge, can they get government subsidies for repair or replacement?
In what may be the first time a sitting president has been blamed for bad weather, House Speaker John Boehner’s office said that President Obama needs to take responsibility for the drought in the Midwest…
Haven’t you heard? Evul Nobama invented a Hurricane machine which is stationed outside of Bill Ayers’ Palace Of Communist Fun in Havana and he flipped the switch to fuck with the RNC!
Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony
I can totally picture it… Betty (dressed as the Swedish Chef) driving a stationwagon along the evacuation route, singing a song, with the 7 chickens singing along in the backseat while the dogs howl along in the front.
On a serious note, it is good to see that the track is well South of the Virgin Islands, looks like my peeps in the BVI will get a little rain and some wind, but nothing serious. We ran into one of these last year in the first week of August while sailing around the BVI. Not a big deal unless you get a direct hit, then it is a very big deal.
So God is giving the gop the finger … .
If the storm hits during the convention, can those asswipe thugs all be abandoned in place with no water or food like the poor people of New Orleans were in the astro
I wish a hurricane would make them cancel.
Aw, man. I was looking forward to the mayhem that a bunch of angry, overheated, gun-toting, fuck-wit Christians will create because Mitt asked Nikki to the prom instead of Sarah.
@JGabriel: I’m beginning to wonder if they’re not doing it on purpose. “Oh, no! We have to cancel all the speeches because of the weather!”
If Katrina was for many, God’s judgement on the ills of New Orleans what about Isaac’s timing and GOP convention?
(and such the biblical name – just adds an extra dash of fun)
A Ghost To Most
I think we should throw Friedman against the wall every so often,just to prove what a dick he is.
Sue Lowden explained how you can pay your doctor with them.