Via commentor Elizabelle, Yiddish Curses for Republican Jews!
“May your son the doctor introduce you to his fiancee, Bristol Palin!”
“May you die and be reunited with all your ancestors — every one of them a socialist garment worker!”
There is a link for submissions, if you have one. Be sure to note where the “donate to a mensch” link takes you, too also.
The Bearded Blogger
I think a strict constructionist reading of the second amendment would only guarantee the unabridged right to arms that were available in the XVIII century. That would mean free access to all for muskets and pistols, and the capacity for the goverment to sensibly control access to all other kinds of arms. Seems like a nice, conservative compromise to me.
R-Jud
Thanks for the chuckle. I donated to said mensch.
Violet
I think my favorite is:
Maybe Mitt’s family can baptize them as Mormons.
Steeplejack
My two favorites:
and
j
Did Akin just quit?
Update, they cut into the news for a live press conference with him saying “I’m staying!” Thanks for the non-news, ABC.
JCT
Holy crap — that describes my husband’s entire family.
Violet
@j: Wonder what his internal polls say?
Ruckus
May you sell everything and retire to Florida just as global warming makes it uninhabitable.
I thought Florida was about 98% there already.
lamh35
So I guess this alone with the birther joke means Robme plans to win on the white vote alone? Who’s left for them to piss off?
RNC Official Says NM Governor Disrespected Custer by Meeting American Indians
Yes, a member of the Executive Committee of the Republican National Committee
Dennis SGMM
@j:
Did Akin imply that the economy was doing just fine before Obama was elected? The notion that the same practices that ran us into a ditch will work the next time if we just turn it up to eleven, and that roughly half of the voting public is willing to go along with that notion, is reason for despair.
Dennis SGMM
@lamh35:
Is there any need to question the RNC member’s reverence for a vainglorious buffoon who was detested by his men and whose signal act was complete folly?
bjacques
I’ve always been partial to “May you own a house with a thousand rooms, and be found dead in every one of them.”
Violet
@lamh35: Wow. Just..wow..I have no words. Unbelievable.
I guess the silver lining is that at least it’s all getting out in the open. This idiot in NM, Romney the birther, Crazy Akin–all of them are nuts. Better the general public get to see it before the election than after.
beltane
@j: Akin is not without powerful allies. The Family Research Council is holding a big fundraiser for Akin on Sept 9th dailykos.com/comments/1123884/47265488#c24
The Christian right is making it clear that Romney is not the boss of them.
Dennis SGMM
@Violet:
This does answer the question “Who will the Republicans piss off next?”
Maude
@lamh35:
Rubio may be shoved aside at the convention to let Ann Romney speak. Cubans.
Violet
@beltane: This is fun to watch. Well, it would be if women’s rights weren’t at stake. But watching the Republican party split is good stuff.
Maybe the talibangelicals will want to start their own party? The Christian American Party or something?
Quaker in a Basement
“…every one of them a socialist garment worker!”
Heh. Indeed.
j
@Violet: Last I read he was within the MoE. Something like trailing by 1 or 2.
Roger Moore
@lamh35:
I’m guessing he doesn’t realize that there’s a difference between the tribes in New Mexico and the ones in Montana where Little Bighorn was fought. They’re all just a bunch of ignorant Indian savages, right.
kerFuFFler
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits!
Violet
@Maude: I just saw that. Hilarious. I can’t believe the Republicans/Romney’s camp is dumb enough to think that Ann Romney will help their campaign more than Rubio. Ann is off-putting. Her condescension bleeds through TV screens. Rubio at least seems like a real person, even if his Latino credentials only go as far as Cuba.
Dennis SGMM
May you find a perfect place to watch the sun set, decide to buy a bottle of wine to toast day’s end, and find yourself in Utah.
lamh35
@Maude: so wait, they are moving Marco’s speech so Miss Ann can speak on national tele? methinks some Cuban Americans are gonna be pissed.
Oh and BTW, Obama will have the “Hispanic Oprah” Cristina and J Castro as speakers!
Seriously, is there anyone left for Mittens to poop on?
lamh35
TWiB! 2.0 | EPISODE #2 – ROMNEY, BIRTHER JOKES & THE OTHER.
Interrobang
Contrary to the curse you may stumble across on that site, moving to Israel isn’t actually a fate worse than death; I probably know dozens of olim at this point, and they all seem more or less fine.
The Sabras are a little weird, but that could just be that I’m more likely to come in contact with weird Sabras. And feeding them maple syrup for the very first time is funny as hell.
PurpleGirl
“May you die and be reunited with all your ancestors—every one of them a socialist garment worker!”
This one really cracks me up.
Calouste
@lamh35:
They haven’t really tried to piss off the Asians yet, although Hoekstra made a start a while back.
But I don’t doubt that racist asshole Mitt Romney will drop a racial stereotype when talking about doing business with China.
sylvan
Thinner.
maya
May your son, who just got the golden key to the uncut urinals room at the fancy country club, be struck dead by an errant golf ball on the 13th fairway.
(Dedicated to you, Dancin’ Dave.)
SarahT
@Dennis SGMM: HAHAHA
mainmati
Like Father, Like Son
Over at Naked Capitalism, Nanea, a private equity insider has a very interesting post “Bain’s “Commitment to Transparency” Canard”
“…I would like to point out the utterly misleading nature of the statement issued by Bain Capital in response to the documents’ release. The Bain Capital press release, which was quoted by many news outlets, stated:
The unauthorized disclosure of a number of confidential fund financial statements is unfortunate. Our fund financials are routinely prepared by auditors and demonstrate a commitment to transparency with our investors and regulators, and compliance with all laws
First, the Bain statement incorrectly states that “Our fund financials are routinely prepared by auditors…” In reality, auditors–especially a big one like PriceWaterhouse Coopers–absolutely refuse to prepare financial statements for any clients in any industry that I am aware of. Instead, for liability reasons, they explicitly confine their activity to auditing the statements prepared by their clients and expressing an opinion about them based on the audit. PwC states its role clearly in its cover letter, on PwC letterhead, accompanying all the Bain financial statements it audited:
These financial statements are the responsibility of the General Partner. Our responsibility is to express an opinion on these financial statements based on our audit.
PwC is taking pains to clearly disavow a role in preparing the financial statements because PwC knows that any financial statements, despite being audited, may be materially inaccurate. Bain’s statement yesterday, on the other hand, is trying to convince the public that the statements must be accurate because, Bain falsely claims, the auditors prepared them. One wonders whether PwC has lodged a private objection today with Bain for this false statement, or whether the firm’s professional standards group is evaluating whether they need to in some way correct the public record.
Second, Bain’s statement talks about the documents evincing “… a commitment to transparency with our investors and regulators”. With respect to the regulators, none of these documents were ever filed with regulators. Unlike the financial statements of publicly traded companies, private equity fund financial statements are not filed with the SEC. Similarly, “registered” securities offerings are filed with the SEC and must be approved by it. By contrast Bain’s offerings, as private equity securities offerings (the materials used to solicit investors in the funds), are “unregistered”, meaning that they are not submitted to the SEC. The IRS does not receive these documents routinely, nor do banking regulators or any other financial regulator I can think of.
Ultimately, there doesn’t appear to be much about the Bain statement that is accurate.”
So Romney’s baby, Bain Capital lies like a rug like its Daddy and stupidly thinks that nobody is going to notice. Totally fracking clowns.
Omnes Omnibus
Long, but good.
danielx
@lamh35:
Right. And the Indians are saying there’s no way that Custer could be insulted and the son of a bitch deserved to have his hair lifted.
WereBear
I love this! I spent 18 years in the NYC area; I still use Yiddish phrases. Book tip: The Joys of Yiddish is.
And since people are getting KITTENS and they need help sleeping through the night:
our secret Tristan weapons, revealed!
Because our orphaned kitten Tristan will be two years old in a few days, and he still has periods where he needs to be reminded.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
The Irish have a few
“May the cat eat you, may the devil eat the cat”
“May your legs turn to glass, may the glass break”
“He’s as thick headed as a bull’s foreskin”
maya
May the dice, at Sheldon’s Plant a Settlement in the West Bank high roller crap table (after you’ve doubled down as is your inexplicable tendency of late), come up Ryan Eyes.
Mnemosyne
@WereBear:
Also, too, Every Goy’s Guide to Common Jewish Expressions. His explanation/example of “shpilkes” is worth the price of the book.
ETA: We used to have something like the Panic Mouse, but Charlotte and her sister ganged up on it and broke it their first week with us. Now our go-to self-entertainment cat toy is the Bolt laser.
karen
The one I learned as a kid is “Geh kocken offen yom!” which I was told translates as “Go take a shit in the ocean!” “Geh in drerd” is “Go in the earth” which I think means “Drop dead.”
But the one about your head growing in the ground like a turnip was one of my favorite.
I used to have one of those 365 day by day calendars of Jewish curses which would give the curse in Yiddish then in English.
chrome agnomen
an old favorite:
may syphilitic goats propagate on your neglected tomb
NotMax
Most of the upcoming GOP convention speakers (and even more of the talking head ‘pundits,’ for that matter):
Hakn a tshaynik (ref.)
WaterGirl
@lamh35: Maybe this response to the birther “joke” will help you feel better.
Steeplejack
@WaterGirl:
That’s an excellent piece (by Adam Serwer) with a great finish:
Violet
@WaterGirl: That’s an excellent article and response. Mitt has no idea what the majority (including women, it is a majority) of Americans deal with on a regular basis. No idea at all.
I posted this in the next thread, but I finally watched the video of Romney’s birther comment and WTF us up with the nuns in full traditional habits cheering wildly after he says it? That’s wrong in so many ways I can’t even begin to count them.
Anne Laurie
@Enhanced Voting Techniques:
My people are flat-out assertive/aggressive: May you kiss a lawyer! May you not shit for a hundred years, and then may you have diarrhea! The true Yiddish curse is passive-aggressive — it starts as a benediction and doubles back to the punchline.
WaterGirl
@Violet: That’s sad. Nuns are about the only thing about the catholic church that’s left to like.
And I say that as one of the “fallen away catholics” that they always had us kids pray for – before I became one of them.
Perhaps I can take a cue from Mittens and retroactively pray for myself?
I do still believe in god, and I wonder what the hell Jesus thinks about what all these people are doing in his name.
@Steeplejack: Yeah, i liked that last paragraph, too. Teddy’s Person nailed it in the birther thread:
Aimai
@efgoldman:
Yeah. Mr aimai’s grandmothrveascsvgstment former, buried in acworkman’s circle cemetery.
karen
@NotMax:
Is that a pain in the head?
My mom used to say “Don’t Hakn a tshaynik” but since I was a kid I thought she was telling her not to hock her to China!
karen
@Aimai:
My parents have plots there too.
Haydnseek
“May a diseased camel have sexual relations with your sister.” Oh, wait. That’s a Johnny Carson “Karnak the Magnificent” bit from the seventies. Never mind.
different-church-lady
Are they actually gonna use drones in Tampa, or has (once again) the cheese slipped off the Great Orange Satan Rec List cracker?
dailykos.com/story/2012/08/24/1123819/-CNN-compares-protesters-to-terrorist-insurgents-Feds-scare-up…
karen
I just read on Mother Jones that the GOP is now trying to ax the funding for the Report on Carginogens:
motherjones.com/blue-marble/2012/08/republicans-attempt-ax-program-monitoring-carcinogens
but that’s not what made me so mad I could spit. I’ve reached a point where I expect these things.
But what made me angry was when some fuckhead who calls themself “disillusioned liberal” says that we should let the GOP let their way because we’ve had liberal policies so long we take them for granted and we need to be taught a lesson …and there will be collateral damage. Yes that’s the words they used, “collateral damage.”
If I hear from one more person, liberal, conservative or penguin that we need to be taught a lesson or they’re staying home to teach the Dems a lesson or anyone needing a lesson taught to them I’m going to slap them silly.
It’s so easy to be high and mighty when it’s in the abstract. I want to see this person telling a grieving mother at their dead child’s gravesite that their child died because we needed to be taught a lesson. I guess that would make her child a martyr…
mellowjohn
@Anne Laurie: to paraphrase a line from “fiddler on the roof”: “may god bless and keep the republican party. far, far away from us!”
John M. Burt
May everyone praise the beauty and majesty of the car that sits on the elevator under which you are found crushed.
JCT
@efgoldman: Sounds familiar — Hungarian tailors on my side and my husband’s grandfather founded the Laundryman’s union in NYC. His grandmother survived the Triangle Shirtwaist fire.
He spent his summers at the Workman’s Circle camp happily singing socialist songs.
Joseph Hertzlinger
@PurpleGirl: My grandfather was a small businessman who voted for Hoover.