(Jack Ohman via GoComics.com)
__
Tim Dickinson gets the cover for “The Federal Bailout That Saved Mitt Romney“:
Mitt Romney likes to say he won’t “apologize” for his success in business. But what he never says is “thank you” – to the American people – for the federal bailout of Bain & Company that made so much of his outsize wealth possible.
According to the candidate’s mythology, Romney took leave of his duties at the private equity firm Bain Capital in 1990 and rode in on a white horse to lead a swift restructuring of Bain & Company, preventing the collapse of the consulting firm where his career began. When The Boston Globe reported on the rescue at the time of his Senate run against Ted Kennedy, campaign aides spun Romney as the wizard behind a “long-shot miracle,” bragging that he had “saved bank depositors all over the country $30 million when he saved Bain & Company.”
In fact, government documents on the bailout obtained by Rolling Stone show that the legend crafted by Romney is basically a lie. The federal records, obtained under the Freedom of Information Act, reveal that Romney’s initial rescue attempt at Bain & Company was actually a disaster – leaving the firm so financially strapped that it had “no value as a going concern.” Even worse, the federal bailout ultimately engineered by Romney screwed the FDIC – the bank insurance system backed by taxpayers – out of at least $10 million. And in an added insult, Romney rewarded top executives at Bain with hefty bonuses at the very moment that he was demanding his handout from the feds….
FDIC documents on the Bain deal – which were heavily redacted by the firm prior to release – show that as a wealthy businessman, Romney was willing to go to extremes to secure a federal bailout to serve his own interests. He had a lot at stake, both financially and politically. Had Bain & Company collapsed, insiders say, it would have dealt a grave setback to Bain Capital, where Romney went on to build a personal fortune valued at as much as $250 million. It would also have short-circuited his political career before it began, tagging Romney as a failed businessman unable to rescue his own firm…
Romney had a direct stake in the survival of Bain & Company: He had been working to build the Bain brand his entire career, and felt he had to save the firm at all costs. After all, Bain sold top-dollar strategic advice to big businesses about how to protect themselves from going bust. If Bain & Company went bankrupt, recalls the Romney deputy, “anyone associated with them would have looked clownish.” Indeed, when a banker from Goldman Sachs urged Bain to consider bankruptcy as the obvious solution to the firm’s woes, Romney’s desperation began to show. He flatly refused to discuss it – and in the ensuing argument, one witness says, Romney almost ended up in a brawl when the Goldman banker advised him to “go fuck yourself.” For the sake of Romney’s career and fortune, bankruptcy was simply not an option – no matter who got screwed in the process….
Ladies and gentlemen of Amercia — your GOP presidential candidate!
ploeg
Has more in common with Donald Trump than previously thought.
Unabogie
So,is there anything at all about Romney that’s not a big fat lie?
Litlebritdifrnt
@Unabogie:
No. SATSQ
Dennis SGMM
You didn’t build it after all did you, Mitt?
Romney/Ryan don’t so much as make me angry as they make me disappointed. Here we are at a critical time and the opposing party, whose election this was theirs to lose, puts up a pair of fucking clown shoes.
WereBear
Failed Governor, failed Olympic savior, and now failed businessman.
Hat trick!
NonyNony
@Unabogie:
I’m fairly certain that his middle name is actually “Mitt” and his first name is really “Willard” because, frankly, who could make that up?
Though if he turned out to be from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse, and not from Detroit, as he has usually claimed, it certainly would explain a lot. Though honestly there isn’t an alien stupid enough to think that “Mitt” was a real human name.
Joseph Nobles
Mitt Romney blackmailed the FDIC to bail out his company or the liquid assets would go into the Bain officers’ pockets and screw everybody else.
And they let him get away with it because he knew them or they knew his daddy.
What a guy!
Dennis SGMM
@NonyNony:
I’m surprised that he didn’t call himself “Skip.” Back in the day when someone was saddled with a first name that led to face punching they always went to “Skip.”
Maude
@Dennis SGMM:
How about Damn Skippy?
Villago Delenda Est
Wow, I never saw THAT coming!
Litlebritdifrnt
Speaker right now, old white people. No really, I mean really, really, old people. The guy is having problems standing up.
Ash Can
I just hope Rolling Stone didn’t scoop the Obama campaign out of one of its October stinkbombs with this. ;)
Dennis SGMM
@Maude:
I prefer “You’ll get slapped around and like it you fucking weasel.” Granted it doesn’t fit on a business card.
Turgidson
@NonyNony:
Didn’t he try to lie about this at one of the GOP primary debates? I have a vague memory of him claiming that Mitt is his first name.
edit: Yep. http://twitter.com/JohnJHarwood/status/139149639172624384
shoutingattherain
What a heartwarming tale. He’s everything I thought he was.
This is the story that will sink the Big Cracker once and for all. I’m guessing Team O’Bam already knew about this and has the attack vids in the can. It’s sure fun to be a Dem this time around.
Dennis SGMM
@Villago Delenda Est:
This can’t be the same person who opposed bailing out Detroit, can it? Of course those people do work with their hands. Tsk, tsk.
trollhattan
Mitt Romney, clothes-folder!
NonyNony
@Dennis SGMM:
Romney has never had to face a serious worry about someone punching him in the face in his entire life. He’s the kind of guy who has always had “people” around to take care of keeping him from getting the beat down he probably very richly deserved as a kid.
Given what we’ve read about his “school days” it sounds like he always had a couple of “friends” around to torment kids who annoyed him and shield him from anyone bigger than he was. He never needed to go with “Skip” because nobody was ever going to taunt him about his name (at least not anywhere where he’d hear it).
(Honestly though – how much do you hate a child at his birth that you give him two names like “Willard Mitt”? Was that a rich father trying to instill a bit of humility into his offspring, or was George Romney a sadistic prick and the apple didn’t fall far from the tree all that much?)
Elizabelle
@Litlebritdifrnt:
Yeah, I stuck with C-Span for the old white folks, once it was evident they were speaking on the kindnesses Mitt showed their dying teenaged son. (Many, many moons ago.)
Give them their moment in the sun. Don’t talk over them, like MSNBC.
ETA: But still doesn’t make Mitt qualified to be president.
Free the man up to be a Mormon bishop again.
Belafon (Formerly anonevent)
Actually this reminds me of all of the small government types at the defense contractor I work for.
Davis X. Machina
‘Running the government like a business’ — never exactly a good idea, now looking like a really, really horrible idea.
Litlebritdifrnt
Hmmmmmm dead kid thing not going over well here,
how many “dead child” stories are we going to get here? This is utterly creepy.
Villago Delenda Est
@Belafon (Formerly anonevent):
This hypocritical shit never ends, does it?
People totally dependent on government largess (and spending on capital goods that serve absolutely no capital purpose) whining about “big government”.
Dennis SGMM
LOL! I boxed in the Saturday night smokers while I was in the USN. I also fought under much less organized conditions while I was stationed in South Texas, I found that having someone beat the crap out of me helped my attitude going forward.
Mike in NC
Rmoney/Ryan 2012: 50 Shades of White
The Dangerman
I want to buy that person a drink.
Gin & Tonic
@shoutingattherain:
No, it won’t. Just like the tax return story. It took a bit longer than I predicted, but he toughed it out and nobody gives a shit any more. His tax return secrecy is no longer a story — it’s bo-ring. Something like this, which requires reading and thinking? In your dreams.
Hal
In spite of all the massively horrendous politicians the Repubs have displayed over the years, I’m actually quite shocked at how much I loathe and despise Mitt Romney. I think it cemented with me when he made his birther crack, then sat back in an interview later that evening with the fakest smile on his face shaking his head and saying; “No no, I just wanted to remind everyone Ann and I were born in Michigan.”
He is a black hole of false accusations, baseless attacks, flat out lies, and does not believe in anything he fucking says so much so that everyone around him has to pretend they aren’t pretending.
If the majority elects him, so be it. I’m almost about over this bullshit country at this point. Romney is almost, just almost, what America deserves.
Now I’m going to go back to sipping my Limeade with a splash of Bacardi 151.
Dennis SGMM
@Mike in NC:
A Whiter Shade of Pale.
Villago Delenda Est
@Gin & Tonic:
I disagree.
All these torpedo hits will, eventually, tell, and then sometime in the middle of October, with plenty of time for impact, the Obama people will drop the big one.
The structure will be so weakened by previous damage that it will collapse like the rotten sack of shit OvenMitt is.
FuriousPhil
Between this, the 950 page document dump, and what I already knew about private equity firms, Mitt Romney is looking less like an ace in the hole and more like a joker. The kind of joker you would never laugh at, and probably want to punch in the face repeatedly, but wouldn’t since he could bankrupt you in a civil suit. Which would be kind of apropos.
If Goldman Sachs didn’t like him, that should really tell you something. I’ll bet they still give him a few million or so, just to hedge their bets.
Shawn in ShowMe
@NonyNony:
I don’t think being rich or sadistic has anything to do with it. George’s own middle name was Wilcken. And Willard Richards was an early leader in the Mormon Church.
Willard or Mitt only sounds goofy now because boys are only allowed Tiger Beat names like Justin or Andrew.
Violet
@Litlebritdifrnt: Heard them on NPR. They were sweet, but it was a long, long time ago that the story they’re telling happened.
Dennis SGMM
@FuriousPhil:
In other times, maybe. We’re looking at an electorate that is variously frightened, confused, and spitting mad that some black guy with a funny name is the occupant of the Number One White Guy place in the nation. This is far from being over and it’s even farther from being in the bag.
Shawn in ShowMe
@Gin & Tonic:
The party atmosphere of the conventions is the campaign equivalent of a station break. By the 2nd week of September, we’ll be back to our regular scheduled programming.
JustRuss
@Gin & Tonic:
I’m not so sure. It’s obvious that a number of the Villagers are already tired of carrying Willard’s water, now they see that he never would have got anywhere without a big fat check from Uncle Sugar. This won’t send him down in flames, but it’s another crack in a very leaky dyke.
Yeah, I know, I mixed my metaphors. I tear off mattress tags too.
Anoniminous
So apparently if you’re a friend of Mitt your kid dies.
ETA: @JustRuss:
So you’re the reason the we can’t have nice things.
Maude
@JustRuss:
As long as you don’t tear them off pillows.
Ash Can
And, courtesy of a commenter at LGF, we learn that Paul Ryan issued a press release, dated 10/13/08, on the closing of the GM plant in Janesville on 12/23/08.
OH SNAP
Dennis SGMM
@JustRuss:
Aw, geez, now they’ll be coming after all of us.
Maude
@Ash Can:
It was closed retroactively. I forgot the word Romney used.
Chris T.
Mormons traditionally like funny names. DeLand and DeLaVerne are common first names in Utah, for instance. Not last (family) names, first names.
See http://wesclark.com/ubn/males.html for a list of boys’ names (go up one for Utah Baby Names to find girls’ names).
Violet
@Gin & Tonic: Nope, it’s just a break in the action while the conventions happen. The Dems, or at least Obama’s team, is smart enough not to drop juicy info in the middle of Mitt’s Convention of Fail, when Romney is hurting himself, plus there’s the added distraction of Hurricane Isaac. They’ll wait until all the hoopla of both conventions is over and then they’ll start up again.
Harry Reid never would have said what he said and then doubled down if he didn’t have goods to back it up. They’ve got goods. And don’t discount that all the tax returns noise and prodded the media into looking at Mitt’s financial record, like the very story linked up top. Without the tax returns noise, who knows if that would have happened.
Anya
Am I the only one that finds the O team’s latest email blasts depressing? They’re constantly sending doom and gloom emails. What are they playing at?
The only message I liked today is the one sent by John Kerry.
chopper
@Unabogie:
every word the man says is a lie, including ‘and’ and ‘the’.
Violet
@Anya: They go to an email account I only check every so often. I never read them. When I want to give money, I will. If Team Obama is offering something cool that I’m interested in (birth certificate mug, dinner with Michelle, whatever), I hear about it on Twitter or a blog and then go check that email.
The campaigns send too much spam. I am so glad I gave all of them my spam email.
Dennis SGMM
@Violet:
Never interrupt a man when he’s making a fool of himself.
raven
@Anya: Yes
maya
@Litlebritdifrnt: It’s character witnesses. You know, what the defense does before the judge’s sentencing after the guilty verdict.
Gin & Tonic
@Violet: It was dead even before the convention.
The tax return story has been dead for weeks. Try to squeeze more juice out of it and Joe Loinfo will say it’s piling on. Other than the junkies, who don’t count, nobody gives a shit any more.
Elie
@Hal:
I gotcha. I thought I reached the max threshold with W but little did I know that such perpetual lying, mendacity and dishonor could be sustained by one individual for so long. Add to that his mendacious, equally fake wife and its the Higgs Bosson of political negative energy — theorized as possible but unproven until just recently —
Oh — may hubris still be a fact of the universe… OH Please please please…
low-tech cyclist
We built him!!
That would of course explain why he seems like a robot.
Anoniminous
Figured out the GOP strategy: They plan on boring everyone with an IQ over 87 to death so only their base will survive.
Violet
@Gin & Tonic: We’ll see. Depends what the Dems have. Maybe it’s not the Dems. Maybe Mitt’s got a few enemies who know some stuff. What’s in those returns? What’s he hiding? If that gets out, people may care again.
Personally, I’m less interested in the returns themselves than the trajectory of the whole story. Mitt’s not representing himself well and now the media has spent a full day talking about “just how bad of a liar is Paul Ryan”, Mitt’s hand-picked running mate. The more “lies, lying, and liar” is associated with their ticket, the better.
Elie
@Gin & Tonic:
Oh — you hope, doncha?
Its no longer the central story but the “tell”. You know what that is, doncha? The “tell” is the action that affirms the judgement of an individual’s true character and motives… its watching a mook sneak and grab someone’s wallet when they think no one is watching — the lie told to protect oneself and throw someone vulnerable under the bus. So the “tell” isn’t always the cause of the downfall, but the “mark of Cain” – the true test of what you really have…
The tax issue would be nothing without the continual verification that this guy is a liar and a skimmer. It starts with flip flopper and goes to his willingness to attest to “facts” that are proven untrue over and over — all of these, mini “tells”. So — when we get to the real fact that this guy does not want to release his taxes — all the previous experience with his lies, with his inability to stand up to anything honorable — we all KNOW the answer — we had all the tells.
So stick a sock in it and go drink some of your handle. Drink lots of it.
You will need all of it.
Anya
@Ash Can: Did Ryan praise the unions? That migh not sit well with the teabaggers.
@Violet: I should do the same. Both my husband and I already maxed out on our individual donation to the president.
Anya
@raven: YOU LIE!
Shawn in ShowMe
@Gin & Tonic:
Mitt’s tax return problem doesn’t exist in a vacuum. They are a part of the narrative Team Obama has been building this entire campaign cycle about how Mitt is out of touch. Whether it is supplanted by newer examples of how Mitt is out of touch actually validates their narrative, it doesn’t undercut it.
Mitt’s dog on the roof problem is no longer part of the news cycle but it has helped define him. Romneycare was his signature achievement as governor but he isn’t allowed to talk about it. And after months of being defined by Team Obama, Mitt is too timid to give any details about his accomplishments at all for fear of angering the base. Win. Win. Win.
mai naem
Y’all do know Mitt’s real name Willard was his name after J. Willard Marriott(yeah, the Marriotts) who go way back with their fellow Mormons – the Romneys.
freelancer
…the FUCK am I watching?!
Gin & Tonic
@Elie: The tax return issue has already been factored into the price. If it came out that he paid zero federal income taxes for 10 years, he loses no support. The Romney voters either already assume that’s the case or don’t care.
amk
@Shawn in ShowMe: There you go. This is all about ‘framing’ mittbot. Tax returns is not the end all thingy.
Linda Featheringill
Jeb Bush:
Jeb Bush had an opportunity to position himself as a political activist with a future or an experienced statesman with something to offer the country or a really loyal Republican who has a lot to offer the Party. But he spent a good deal of his speaking time defending the reputation of George W. Bush. He had this opportunity and wasted it by reminding the world that he’s part of the Bush clan and he’s a dues-paying member of nobody-better-criticize-a-Bush club.
I think that was a dumb move.
Why would he do this? Is he tired of being active in politics? Is he retarded? Does he tragically suffer from an early onset organic brain deterioration?
What the hey?
Gin & Tonic
@Elie: And BTW, I don’t hope. I just call it like I see it. No matter how dour and cynical I try to be, I just can’t keep up.
Anoniminous
@Shawn in ShowMe:
And Ly’in Ryan buried himself last night under a mega-ton of Big Whoppers.
I’m thinking it’s 6/5 and pick ’em as to whether the Romney campaign is going to get a dip, rather than a bounce, out of the convention.
waratah
Scot Hamilton is a Republican?
Violet
@Gin & Tonic: You don’t know that for sure. Depends what Mitt did. If there’s video, say, of Mitt saying, “Screw the proles. I’m going to make myself rich. Working people are nothing but ways for me to get rich. The more miserable they are, the better off me and my cronies are. Fuck ’em.” he might lose a few votes.
What if there’s video of Mitt drinking alcohol and getting drunk and obviously doing it on purpose and enjoying it? Would he lose a few Mormon votes? Maybe.
It all depends what’s out there.
Ann Rynd
I’m going to watch Willard tonight for the sake of knowing the enemy. But I’m forcing myself to do it. I haven’t felt this bad about a political event since…well, since never. And I remember listening in my bedroom to the 1956 conventions as a kid. I didn’t dread watching Pat Buchanan in 1992 or Sarah in 2008, but I dread watching tonight because I see just malevolence when I look at him. This is a man in whom just everything is wrong.
Foggy F Follansbye
@waratah: or he just needed the free publicity.
Anoniminous
Gawd they dragged out Zombie Lawrence Welk to run the music program.
I can’t take anymore of this. I’m going to grab my Doobie Brothers albums, throw them on the rockery, and then impale myself on the shards.
SFAW
@Joseph Nobles:
We talkin’ the Texas Rangers, Arbusto, Harken, or some other to-be-named company?
Oh, wait, you’re not talking about W? Never mind.
Matt McIrvin
@Ash Can: The Obama campaign’s linked to it in one of their 43 emails-du-jour already.
catclub
@Linda Featheringill: Loyalty is the highest rated virtue in the Bush clan. He will be taken care of.
Elizabelle
clint eastwood’s on
dance around in your bones
Clint Eastwood sounds like a doddering old fool.
Too bad, so sad.
Narcissus
What in the fuck is Eastwood talking about
Is he on drugs
SiubhanDuinne
Holy crap. I’m not watching TV but I’m listening to the speeches on the radio (NPR) and OMG, Eastwood is just awful. He used to be easy on the eyes, but his voice is annoying as fvck. Plus he’s pretty incoherent.
Shawn in ShowMe
Good lord, Clint Eastwood has become a doddering, rambling old man conversing with an empty chair. Did he rehearse at all? I know he is a loyal Republican but is this really how he wanted to be remembered?
SBJules
I am reiminded of Dorothy Parker who wrote a column in the NeWYorker called Constant Reader. One of her famous reviews said, Constant Reader thew up.
cmorenc
I don’t have any problem with Eastwood’s decision to appear on behalf of the GOP, or their welcoming his appearance on Mitt’s behalf at their convention. That’s their mutual prerogative in a free country.
NEVERTHELESS, I agree that his performance is simply pathetic, coming across as a doddering old geezer rather than the steely-eyed manly man they’d hoped for. Geez, I’m embarrassed for him on a personal level as a long-time fan of his, completely aside from the politics he’s trying to promote. IMHO this isn’t working the magic the GOP had hoped with his “surprise” appearance.
dance around in your bones
Rachel is speechless….that was the strangest speech I have ever seen.
Clint Eastwood talking to an empty chair. Jeebus H. on a popsicle stick.
And OMG, Romney’s gonna be on next (after Ru-ru-rubio)…..I don’t know why I am watching this, really.
Just Some Fuckhead
How hard would it have been for someone to comb his hair backstage?
mai naem
Do they not have any fvcking stylist at the fvcking RNC? Some idjit motherfvcker couldn’t have fixed Eastwood’s hair? Seriously? He just took a great risk showing up at the damn RNC convention and you guys can’t even fix his hair before he comes out? Where the fvck is Marcus Bachmann? Which reminds me where’s Michelle Krazy Eyes Bachmann?
MikeJ
They shoulda gone with Tupac.
Linda Featheringill
Clint Eastwood: Everyone seems to agree that this was a strange speech. Strange and rambling. Oh, dear.
And I used to be much taken with Rowdy Yates.
dance around in your bones
@Just Some Fuckhead:
No kidding – he had serious bed-head.
Narcissus
“for most of human history everyone was poor. We can get that back!”
Violet
I was in the kitchen listening while Eastwood was on. WTF was that mess? He sounded a billion years old and doddering.
Rubio’s not a bad speaker. Saying stupid crap, but delivering it well. I can see why they think he’s an up and comer.
The Dangerman
I was flipping back and forth between RNC and football (mostly football – and Vandy kinda got screwed)…f
…but, what the FUCK was Eastwood doing? Who vetted that shit?
Romney must be beside himself; he’s going on later than planned (or so I assume).
amk
@cmorenc: mebbe eastwood is a lefty troll? as good an essplanation asany.
dance around in your bones
@Just Some Fuckhead:
No kidding – he had serious bed-head.
ETA: sorry if this shows up a bazillion times – the server keeps timimg out but I SWEAR I an not mashing submit a bazillion times.
WTF, over.
Captain C
@Chris T.: I seem to remember “Heeber,” “Huber,” and “Hyrum” from my days in Mesa, AZ.
Svensker
@mai naem:
Ha ha ha.
dance around in your bones
Romney still always has that kind of cringe-y ‘don’t hit me’ look. He hunches over and cringes.
Pretty creepy.
Violet
@dance around in your bones: He does indeed.
What’s going on at the convention? Are the Ron Paul delegates protesting or something? Those recent “USA” chants seemed more than just cheering on Mitt.
DCLaw1
@Violet: Was wondering that too. Seemed kind of disjointed and unmoored from his speech.
Ed Drone
@Maude:
That’s no fair! My family nickname is “Skippy,” or “Skip,” when I can get ’em to call me that.
I resent the implication that I’m ashamed of my first name. Of course, it isn’t “Ed,” but no one is themselves on the Internet anyway.
Ed
SiubhanDuinne
@SBJules:
What she actually wrote (in a review of one of the then-brand-new Winnie the Pooh books) was: “Tonstant Weader fwowed up.”
LanceThruster
@NonyNony:
He would have been better off choosing “Ford Prefect.”