Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

One way or another, he’s a liar.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Everybody saw this coming.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Washington Post Catch and Kill, not noticeably better than the Enquirer’s.

Fight them, without becoming them!

Cancel the cowardly Times and Post and set up an equivalent monthly donation to ProPublica.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

The rest of the comments were smacking Boebert like she was a piñata.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

I’m more christian than these people and i’m an atheist.

I desperately hope that, yet again, i am wrong.

How any woman could possibly vote for this smug smarmy piece of misogynistic crap is beyond understanding.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

Come on, man.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

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You are here: Home / Elections / Election 2012 / This Really Happened, Didn’t It?

This Really Happened, Didn’t It?

by | 247 Comments

This post is in: 

I know I swore not to watch any of the RNC, but I had to walk down the street and take my parent’s dogs home and put them to bed (I was watching them while my folks were at the game), and when I came back my local CBS network had broken away from the Steelers game to the RNC, and I saw Dirty Harry rambling to an empty chair.

Did this really happen or did I hallucinate the whole thing? Is this what an acid flashback feels like? I almost feel obligated to put on the Grateful Dead’s Blues for Allah and go into the bathroom and stare at my face in the mirror for ten minutes while the four different cigarettes I lit in different rooms all burn out. Am I supposed to start giggling now and spend a half hour looking at my hands? I’m so fucking confused.

This is like Koyaanisqatsi meets a Klan rally.

Reader Interactions

247Comments

  5. 5.

    shortstop

    The real victim here is Clint Eastwood! Liberals refused to pretend all was well up on that stage! Chicago-style thugs!

  6. 6.

    Elizabelle

    Surreal to have Clint Eastwood talking about voting for a candidate without any real enthusiasm about it.

    And then I realized he was saying that about Democrats.

  7. 7.

    Water balloon

    God I love Clint Eastwood. You have to admit, that was by far the most entertaining speech of the convention, if unintentionally.

  13. 13.

    Corner Stone

    Thank God we can escape the Spam post,
    Yes, Clint really just stumbled, squinted, stuttered and brutally fucked whatever legacy he ever had with that speech.

  16. 16.

    Southern Beale

    There are already two parody accounts on Twitter, Eastwoods_Chair and InvisibleObama.

    I didn’t watch but I gather it was a train wreck. But some guy from Bloomberg thought it was brilliant. So there ya go.

  19. 19.

    Dennis SGMM

    Weepers, Cole. Put on Aoxmoxoa better. Then dig into your mp3s and play “Sugar Magnolia.” It’ll make you dance around the room.

  20. 20.

    LevelB

    Gotta say, that was the damnedest thing I ever saw. I swear to God, Obama is the luckiest politician to ever walk the planet.

  25. 25.

    guachi

    Three days of convention hell and drinking games was worth it for this.

    Eastwood stole all my booze. No more drinking. EMMY WORTHY!!!!

  27. 27.

    Noah

    I kept thinking there was some joke I wasn’t being let in on. Was anyone actually heckling him, or was Eastwood really referring to that empty chair?

  29. 29.

    Paul W.

    It was super bizarre, and Clint was all over the place.

    Rubio is boring, and almost got booed when he spoke Spanish. Greg Sargent says Mitt has a great speech coming, I dunno if I believe that.

  31. 31.

    Spiffy

    I’m in the middle of watching the Kerber-Venus Williams U.S. Open match. I get a call from a friend laughing and telling me to turn it on the news. He wouldn’t tell me why.

    I turn it on and see Clint Eastwood talking to a freaking chair. I just stared dumbfounded for a few seconds then turned the channel. Was this supposed to inspire the masses to vote for Romney?

    I can only speak for my circle of friends/family, but people were either laughing at Eastwood or thinking he was early onset dementia or Alzheimer’s.

  34. 34.

    NancyDarling

    I only caught bits and pieces of Clint’s “speech” as I was occupied battening down hatches and hunkering down for a heavy rain and possible power outage.

    I heard an Oprah joke and a lawyer joke—both brought the house down. He needed a script writer to tighten things up and he seemed a bit doddering.

  35. 35.

    beltane

    It’s a shame that one of our most talented filmmakers chose to close out his career in this way. Even a drunk Mel Gibson ranting about Jews would have been more coherent than this.

  36. 36.

    Spectre

    Rubio botched his biggest line. “Let them say that we chose MORE GOVERNMENT INSTEAD OF MORE FREEDOM!”

  40. 40.

    magurakurin

    I feel like Captain America with that Koyaanisqatsi link. I got that. I got that reference. I once watched that movie tripping my brains out at the TLA on South Street in Philly. After the film ended nobody moved or made a sound for a full minute. It was very intense.

    Fuck Clint Eastwood. You’re either with us or against us I say.

  41. 41.

    Corner Stone

    @Spectre: I know. I hate this fucking blog hamster wheel that I had to wait 5 minutes to come here and chortle about it.
    He fucked that so hard.

  42. 42.

    Shawn in ShowMe

    Coverage of Romney’s coronation, the moment he has been waiting for all of his life will take a back seat to Eastwood’s impromptu performance of Don Quixote. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

  44. 44.

    The Dangerman

    I was flipping back and forth, so I lost Clint’s train of thought (assuming it stayed on the tracks at all)…

    …but did he really imply that invisible Obama told Clint to tell Romney to go fuck himself?

    Whoever vetted that shit is in the unemployment line tonight.

  45. 45.

    Chris

    So it really was Clint? I thought my Facebook Republican friend was pulling my leg.

    Man, that’s sad. I’d expect war-dodging sunshine patriot and TV tough guy John Wayne to do this, but I didn’t think Clint Eastwood was enough on their bandwagon to. So sad.

  46. 46.

    MobiusKlein

    Clint Eastwood was a lousy Mayor of the city of Carmel, whose sole goal was to get permission to build a parking structure for his restaurant.

    Screw him.

  51. 51.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    The chair was behind him in case he fell down. Invisible Obama was to the left of him.

  52. 52.

    gogol's wife

    I’ve taken a break from the Warren William festival to come here and see what’s happening at the convention, through the warped lens of Balloon Juice. This is hilarious! I don’t need to see it at all, I get the whole thing through you guys.

  55. 55.

    Nellcote

    I’m really digging the acid-tinged echo effect on this thread.

    Dead album nom? Clearly “Workingman’s Dead”.

  59. 59.

    imonlylurking

    I saw an ad for his new movie (yesterday, I think? It looks horrible.) He’s just doing it for the publicity, I bet.

  61. 61.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn

    @Corner Stone: didn’t see Clint, but the myriad of repeating posts has its own flavor of surrealism/senility.

  64. 64.

    Corner Stone

    And the chants of “USA! USA! USA!” when he mentioned taking more jobs for less money??
    Fuck you.

  65. 65.

    mai naem

    @beltane: Some family values stuff he had going on. Not double wet suits and rent-a-boy stuff, more like rent-a-more than a maid.

  67. 67.

    Bostondreams

    Following the live blog over at Sullivan’s place, and I think he is about to have a stroke of rage.

  69. 69.

    Nellcote

    @Shawn in ShowMe:

    Coverage of Romney’s coronation, the moment he has been waiting for all of his life will take a back seat to Eastwood’s impromptu performance of Don Quixote.

    Maybe Eastwood’s not such a gooper after all.

    I think the chair’s left over from Trump’s canceled skit firing the fake Obama.

  70. 70.

    Elizabelle

    Can you imagine being Mitt Romney, backstage, and watching that?

    And we thought he looked concerned over the Jersey Whale.

  72. 72.

    Violet

    Are the Ron Paul delegates protesting or something? Seems like the “USA” chants were for more than just Mitt.

  73. 73.

    jgaugust

    So far I haven’t heard a thing out of MittBot except for generic American platitudes and some lines about Neil Armstrong. Weird first 15 minutes of a speech…

  74. 74.

    Spiffy

    Remember Clint Eastwood speaking at the RNC the next time Republicans scream bloody murder about celebrities getting involved in politics (usually only when they support Democrats).

  75. 75.

    jayboat

    Gawd damn, he simply cannot lose the ‘speaking with the help’ demeanor.
    Is Armstrong walking around as well?
    I can’t keep up.

  79. 79.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    Mitt:

    “When the really big things need doing, you need an American”, to wild applause.

    They’re not even pretending anymore, are they.

  82. 82.

    TenguPhule

    Did this really happen or did I hallucinate the whole thing?

    Join the club, I’ve been asking this since 2000.

  84. 84.

    mai naem

    @MobiusKlein: He was on NBC or CNN bitching about the ADA because he was having to fix his boutique hotel to meet requirements. Just wondering how he’s going to feel in a few years when he needs those ramps.

  86. 86.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Mitt just told the story about how they found Seamus dead when they went out to the car one morning and there was no poop on the windshield.

  87. 87.

    russell

    OK, so this post made me want to go watch the video of Eastwood’s speech.

    About three or so minutes in, he gets into Gitmo. Why would we close Gitmo, Eastwood sez? We’ve spent so much money on it?

    “Maybe it was because somebody had the stupid idea of trying terrorists in downtown NYC”.

    I was born in NYC. People in NYC are the toughest motherfuckers on the face of the earth. *Many* terrorists have in fact been tried in NYC, and have had their due process, and are now in jail.

    The guys who planned and executed the first WTC bombing were tried in NYC, and are now in jail.

    So FUCK YOU Clint Eastwood. You can kiss my NYC-born white ass.

    Fuck you to hell.

    He’s not really Dirty Harry, he’s not really the outlaw Josie Wales, he’s not really any of those guys. He plays them in the movies, nothing more and nothing less.

    He’s a rich candy-ass California movie dude who lives in Carmel.

    And contrary to the tough-guy image, he craps in his pants at the idea of trying terrorists in NYC like every other candy-ass conservative wanna-be tough-guy.

    Fuck you Clint. I had some respect for you, now I don’t.

    Fuck you.

  88. 88.

    TenguPhule

    “When the really big things need doing, you need an American”, to wild applause.

    So this disqualifies the Mexican Import then.

  89. 89.

    chopper

    i still can’t get over eastwood. did he fuck that up on purpose or something? cause rubio and now mittens look like shit compared to that rambling stream-of-consciousness speech.

    it’s like he tried to reinterpret ‘Howl’ and ended up with ‘Fail’.

  90. 90.

    arguingwithsignposts

    Man, these FYWP comments are reading like a series of bad flashbacks, as well. FIX THE DAMN COMMENTS, Cole!

  91. 91.

    Mnemosyne

    @Mark B.:
    @Spiffy:

    He’s 82 years old. It’s more like normal-onset Alzheimer’s.

    It’s a Republican tradition at this point — in retrospect, the NRA probably exploited Charlton Heston’s Alzheimer’s when they convinced him to be their spokesman. And, of course, St. Ronnie, who was showing symptoms at a minimum by the time he ran for re-election in 1984, if not before that.

  94. 94.

    TenguPhule

    Following the live blog over at Sullivan’s place, and I think he is about to have a stroke of rage.

    Don’t try to tempt us with false promises.

  95. 95.

    FlyingToaster

    John@top:

    I got that, dude. Though honestly, back in grad school, I watched Koyaanisqatsi at Bears ‘way drunk, and then 5 days later stone cold sober, and the experience was EXACTLY THE SAME.

    Adding the Klan in there is just too effing real.

    Missed the #ClintFail show (was putting WarriorGirl to bed, while she wiggles tooth #2 about to fall out), along with the rest of the RNC.

    Go home and play with the critters, man. You’ll live longer.

  96. 96.

    russell

    P.S., I quit watching right about the time I’m talking about. I got no time for anything else the man has to say.

    We live by rule of law, or we don’t. Living by rule of law right up until the time it makes us nervous don’t count.

    Piss off Clint, as it turns out you’re a candy-ass wanker just like the rest of the conservative tough guys.

  97. 97.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @russell:

    I was born in NYC. People in NYC are talk like they are the toughest motherfuckers on the face of the earth.

    FTFY (in both senses)

  99. 99.

    Rome Again

    Overheard: “Mitt Romney’s big night, and he got upstaged by an empty chair.” (stolen from a Facebook friend’s status)

  101. 101.

    Corner Stone

    I’m still wondering. Clint Eastwood: Live performance artist masterpiece, or senile old coot who needed a loan for something?

  103. 103.

    TenguPhule

    “Kinship with the future?”. WTF?

    Is that what they’re calling it in the Catholic Church these days?

  106. 106.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Kinda hard to make the case that Obama “had almost no experience working in business” after picking Ryan as yer Veep, dumbass.

  107. 107.

    Rita R.

    Is Romney ever going to talk about policy? I’ve really heard just about all I can take about grandpa mitt, grandma mitt, mrs. mitt, the mittlets and all their friends, family and maids.

  109. 109.

    jgaugust

    Looking at this speech from a completely neutral perspective, it is absolutely terrible. There’s nothing good at all to say about it.

  110. 110.

    TenguPhule

    They’re building their own Obama, ‘cuz they can’t win against the real one.

    I’d still bet on the straw Obama to whip the real Mitt Romney.

  111. 111.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    Mr. Rogers would give a more exciting speech. I fucking HATE Romney. Thank god this bullshit RNC is over tonight. I have wasted far too many brain cells paying attention so I can tell all my nut job friends and relatives I paid more attention than they did. Fuck all of them.

  117. 117.

    askew

    @LevelB:

    Gotta say, that was the damnedest thing I ever saw. I swear to God, Obama is the luckiest politician to ever walk the planet.

    Obama has this ability to make his opponents lose their damn minds/self-destruct. Ryan’s sex scandal; Hillary’s Bosnia sniper story and subsequent meltdown in the basement when she refused to concede; John McCain quitting the campaign to go to DC and then melting down in 3 different debates; everything that has happened at the RNC convention so far this year.

  118. 118.

    Violet

    I’m rewatching the Clint speech because I’d only listened to it from the kitchen before. It’s a thing of beauty. Amazing. The empty chair is priceless.

    So Clint’s ripped going to Afghanistan in the first place–that was Bush’s gig, a Republican, but who needs to remember history. Then he says we don’t need an attorney in the White House. Mitt is an attorney, as one of his friends illustrated with the story of Mitt writing the will for their dying son.

    Clint has to be an undercover Democrat.

  119. 119.

    Comrade Mary

    Did this really happen or did I hallucinate the whole thing? Is this what an acid flashback feels like? I almost feel obligated to put on the Grateful Dead’s Blues for Allah and go into the bathroom and stare at my face in the mirror for ten minutes while the four different cigarettes I lit in different rooms all burn out. Am I supposed to start giggling now and spend a half hour looking at my hands? I’m so fucking confused.
    __
    This is like Koyaanisqatsi meets a Klan rally.

    Awe-fucking-some, John.

    I was really coming over here to offer this greeting from Tunch’s Japanese cousins, but given what I’ve read, it pales in comparison to Eastwood’s speech and everyone’s reactions.

  120. 120.

    tam

    He’s a rich candy-ass California movie dude who lives in Carmel.

    I know the funnest thing in the world is crapping on California, but the majority of we candy-ass California movie people believe that guys who plan terrorist acts in America should be tried in America.

    And as a fellow born and bred New Yorker, the idea that we are the “toughest” is ego-stroking bullshit. People all over are plenty tough.

  125. 125.

    mai naem

    They need to leave Jimmy Carter the fvck alone. I am so fvcking sick and tired of Jimmy Carter being their all around punching bag for presidentialing. Jimmy Carter has more smarts and more plain humanity in his little finger than all of Mitt Romney’s and Ann Davies’ extended families. Paula Deen had Jimmy and Rosalyn Carter on and she called him the greatest humanitarian walking the earth today. It was very sweet.

  127. 127.

    russell

    FTFY (in both senses)

    Whatever, dude. Although I’m less than clear on what the second “sense” is.

    But the pre-eminence of NY toughness is not actually essential to my point.

    Here’s my point.

    We don’t need Gitmo to save us from trying terrorists in downtown NYC.

    We don’t need Gitmo to save us from trying terrorists anywhere we want to try them.

    The only reason we need Gitmo is to give us a way to fuck people over outside the reach of the law.

    We’ve tried numerous real, live terrorists, right in downtown NYC, and lived to tell the tale.

    Folks that think we need to offshore the due process of terrorists are, In My Very Humble Opinion, piss ants.

    They are cowards.

    So, as mentioned upthread, fuck Clint Eastwood and his tough-guy persona. He’s a coward just like the rest of them.

    And I am correspondingly less than interested in whatever the hell else he had to say.

    My two cents.

    Have a nice day.

  128. 128.

    dance around in your bones

    Romney’s saying ‘What America needs is jobs’ – and if he’s President, he’ll vulture-suck all the jobs he possibly can and give himself and his cronies huge bonuses.

    What funeral home was contracted to do Mitt’s make-up?

    Heh, GregB, that was funny.

  129. 129.

    Anya

    When republicans say crap like: “No other country has optimism. It is uniquely American,” do they actually believe Americans will think “people in other nations are really pessimistic and generally hopeless. Only Americans know optimism. It’s true.” Seriously?

  131. 131.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    The Republican convention started out with the blubbering Jersey Whale and ended with the rambling Josey Wales.

  132. 132.

    Violet

    I rewatched the entire Clint speech, then fast forwarded and Mitt is STILL talking and then says, “We have a five step plant”. FIVE steps? I’m already asleep, dude. Ugh.

  133. 133.

    TenguPhule

    Well if you were taking a drink after every time Romney lied in his speech, you’re on your way to the emergency room now.

    Catching it on the tv now and my blood pressure is going up.

  134. 134.

    Spiffy

    Eastwood wants a tax break so his lazy dumbass spawn can burn more $1,000 purses and call it “art.”

    Eastwood has 7 kids with 5 women; has cheated on previous spouses, and if books are to believed, has physically abused them as well and forced them to get abortions – if a celebrity with that background spoke out for Obama, the Republicans would be screaming bloody murder.

  135. 135.

    magurakurin

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    Major Strasser: Are you one of those people who cannot imagine the Germans in their beloved Paris?

    Rick: It’s not particularly my beloved Paris.

    Heinz: Can you imagine us in London?

    Rick: When you get there, ask me!

    Captain Renault: Hmmh! Diplomatist!

    Major Strasser: How about New York?

    Rick: Well there are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn’t advise you to try to invade

  136. 136.

    Doggie D

    A very observable behavioral divergence is seen when a, let us say it, white male, obtains his money from Hollywood or a sister institution. They either go Berserk [Mel Gibson; Charlie Sheen] or go submissive [The Male Cast of the Television Show ‘Friends’; Ted Danson; John Cole].

    Clint Eastwood, I am sorry to say, falls into the latter category. From a Point to a Line, from Dirty Harry to Grand Torino, we choose our paths.

    This is why it is best to avoid, as best as one can, all contact with these people until things blow over. It is best to be neither Berserk, nor submissive. It is best to simply observe, be wise, and do many push-ups.

  138. 138.

    Rita R.

    When is this going to end??? I’m positive he went over time on purpose to get people tuning in for the 11 p.m. news.

  141. 141.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    do they actually believe Americans will think “people in other nations are really pessimistic and generally hopeless. Only Americans know optimism. It’s true.”

    Yes. Since that’s the picture these goobers have always painted of Europe – like the dingy ever-winter pictures you’d get of Moscow all the time on the news back in the 70s.

  143. 143.

    rammalamadingdong

    You step away from your computer and you come back and find Eastwood talking to a chair. I cannot stop laughing.

  144. 144.

    Linda

    I didn’t see it, but when the freaks on free republic think it’s “lame,” it’s the kiss of death. Now the whole acid trip thing looks lucid in comparison.

  146. 146.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    The really sad part is everyone in America is silently screaming for Mitt to finish his damn speech so we can see the talking heads weigh in on Clint Trainwreck.

  147. 147.

    russell

    the majority of we candy-ass California movie people believe that guys who plan terrorist acts in America should be tried in America.

    And as a fellow born and bred New Yorker, the idea that we are the “toughest” is ego-stroking bullshit. People all over are plenty tough.

    Fine with me.

    My point was not that all Californians are candy-ass, it was that Clint was candy-ass.

    And not to make a big machismo issue out of it, it’s just a matter of whether you walk your walk, or not.

    You believe in the rule of law, or you don’t. If you toss it out the window when it’s inconvenient, that puts you in the “don’t” column.

    And, to reiterate, not you personally, but Clint and folks like him.

    I don’t live in NY anymore, I’ve been in New England for 30 years, and in Philly before that. Every place has it’s own vibe, and people everywhere are plenty tough, resilient, and resourceful.

    My overall point is simply that the residents of NYC have demonstrated themselves more than capable of dealing with trying terrorists in downtown NY.

    We (NY’ers or any of us) don’t need Gitmo to keep us safe.

    Peace out.

  155. 155.

    Delia

    Well, I’m just glad I had that boyfriend back in 2002 who dragged me to the Koyaanisqatsi revival in Hollywood, so I’d know what John was talking about. Otherwise this evening would be a total waste, what with watching the Romneybot lie through his teeth for hours on end. The Japanese are doing much more realistic skin tones these days, but now that he’s finished I must say, he doesn’t look so good from the profile view.

  158. 158.

    jgaugust

    Hey, guess what folks….IT’S OVER!!! On to a real party next week where we hear real ideas…

  160. 160.

    mai naem

    I cannot believe the Republicans just nominated Willard Mitt Romney. You just have to see this to believe it. A Mormon, job outsourcer with a daddy who marched with MLK who was unethical with his taxes and won’t release his taxes and put into place an earlier version of Obamacare. Wow. Just Wow. I can’t even think about who the Democrats could ever nominate to be equal to this.

  162. 162.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @trollhattan:

    Grandkids as stage props. Now there’s a refreshing innovation.

    Mitt was trying really hard to emotionally connect with them.

  163. 163.

    Violet

    Tom Brokaw is talking about Clint Eastwood overshadowing everyone else tonight, including Romney. If Brokaw says it, it’s Villager conventional wisdom.

  164. 164.

    Anya

    @Xecky Gilchrist: @MikeJ: As someone who spend most of her childhood in Canada and travels a lot, I find this really annoying. I’ve discovered at a young age that there are actually more things people have in common with each other, than they have differences. Fuck these chauvinistic assholes.

  167. 167.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @Delia:

    If you watch Mitt’s presidential entrance to the hall, it looks like some Photoshopped his head onto his body. I was eating dinner and damned near choked laughing at it. His head looked too large in proportion to his body while he was moving briskly, making it look like his head wasn’t quite tracking with his body.

    Too late for a hardware upgrade for MittBot…lol!

  168. 168.

    Shawn in ShowMe

    I have a plan to create 12 million new jobs. There are five steps to it 1)Drill baby, drill 2)School vouchers 3) More free trade agreements 4)Austerity 5)Repeal RomneyCare, er I mean ObamaCare.

    Wow, I guess Santorum, Bachmann and Newt also had a plan to create 12 million jobs because they had the same damn plan.

  169. 169.

    Ash Can

    And now Obama will get up on his podium next week and show everyone how this speechifying shit is REALLY done.

  172. 172.

    salacious crumb

    well that’s the point isn’t it? The Republicans have been talking to shadows and reacting to fantasies, so Clint doing so was no different. They imagine what life would be like without taxes, gays, blacks, womens rights etc….and if reality comes crashing through, they create their own fantasy world.

  173. 173.

    MCA1

    I haven’t seen it yet, but are we really sure it was Clint Eastwood, and not Joaquin Phoenix as Clint Eastwood?

    I haven’t had this much fun reading a Balloon Juice thread since that night we were all coming up with alternate titles for the Palin autobiography movie.

  176. 176.

    arguingwithsignposts

    Which one of the Obama campaign people is tasked with coming up with the chair prop for next week? There is NO WAY they won’t get a bit out of that.

  178. 178.

    TenguPhule

    Word is coming out of the convention that Mitt connected with the wooden chair.

    The Furniture polled complained Romney was too stiff and lifeless. They want to see more of the chair.

  182. 182.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    lolz, they are saying Clint was adlibbing and otherwise running from it.

    This is Clint adlibbing: “I pooped myself. Nurrrrrrse!”

  184. 184.

    TenguPhule

    I have a plan to create 12 million new jobs.

    Mine goes like this

    1. Fire All Republicans in Government
    2. Hire Competent People to replace them

  187. 187.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    ‘When they lost that $22.00 an hour job they went out and got two $9.00 an hour jobs because Americans work that hard!’

    Only Mitt would would attempt to make losing one job and having to get two jobs, whose combined pay is less than the one job they had, a good thing. No Mitt, you wiped out their company and jobs and are now asking them to forget that and vote for you.

    Sadly, some will.

  190. 190.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @Odie Hugh Manatee:

    ‘When they lost that $22.00 an hour job they went out and got two $9.00 an hour jobs because Americans work that hard!’

    He didn’t really say that, did he? That’s not quite as bad as Bush’s comment about the woman working three jobs to make ends meet, but it’s pretty damned close.

  191. 191.

    NancyDarling

    I just want to add that Eastwood has made some damn fine movies and at least he didn’t wet himself. Although Marco did come on and say he was drinking Clint’s water. What does that mean?

  192. 192.

    Walker

    @Odie Hugh Manatee:

    ‘When they lost that $22.00 an hour job they went out and got two $9.00 an hour jobs because Americans work that hard!’

    That is going to look so good in an Obama commercial. What idiot speech writer thought that was an intelligent thing to say?

  194. 194.

    Violet

    @arguingwithsignposts: Yes, he reallly said that. Only in Mitt’s world would losing a $22.50/hr plus benefits (yes, he said benefits) job and replacing it with two $9/hr jobs would be a good thing. It’s like he was describing what he’s done to the American worker as if it’s a good thing. Insane.

  195. 195.

    trollhattan

    @arguingwithsignposts:
    Can they work those simultaneously? Eighteen an hour is at least above poverty level.

    Also, too, in fake football, third-string Seahawks kicking seventh-string Raiders asses. I’m learning so very much.

  196. 196.

    Corner Stone

    @arguingwithsignposts: No, he really…actually…said that when people lost their jobs they were studs to get TWO jobs making less many in the aggregate.
    Lose that $22 an hour job when we outsources your ass? Grab two $9 an hour jobs!
    BECAUSE YOU’RE AN AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALIST!!

  200. 200.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    I’m hearing from my sources inside the Romney campaign that it was originally supposed to be Michelle Bachmann talking to a piece of furniture.

  201. 201.

    Shawn in ShowMe

    The talking heads are discussing how Mitt came across but on Twitter, Yahoo News and Google News it’s all about Eastwood. Sorry Rachel, Chris et al, only political junkies care about your analysis tonight.

  202. 202.

    Spiffy

    Romney can go fuck off if he actually said that about having two $9 an hour jobs is “great.”

    This just goes to show the rarefied air Romney breathes. He can’t honestly think this is going to go over well with the public.

  203. 203.

    Chris

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    I swore I wouldn’t watch anything from this clown show, and I went and read Mittens’ speech anyway. Yes, he really did say that. And to reiterate something I said earlier today, yes, I fucking hate the guy, and each and every one of those clowns who votes for him. Individually and personally.

    Sorry. Had to get that out of the system. Back to normal…

  204. 204.

    Comrade Mary

    @arguingwithsignposts: Actually, that’s worse. WAY worse. (That is, if he was talking about the people Bain threw out of their jobs. If he was talking about the economic slowdown in general, it’s just as bad for the sheer gall and innumeracy alone.)

  205. 205.

    Delia

    @Violet:

    Only in Mitt’s world would losing a $22.50/hr plus benefits (yes, he said benefits) job and replacing it with two $9/hr jobs would be a good thing. It’s like he was describing what he’s done to the American worker as if it’s a good thing. Insane.

    Bush did one of those once. He had some poor woman onstage who was working about three jobs to take care of her family and he bragged about how great it was that Americans worked that hard.

  208. 208.

    arguingwithsignposts

    Funny, none of those asshats on stage tonight were volunteering to take those $9 hour jobs. Fuckers.

  209. 209.

    Corner Stone

    Whoever booked Chris Christie AND Clint Eastwood?
    That person should have at least a 20 second head start getting the fuck out of town.

  210. 210.

    Corner Stone

    Man, I passed out at certain points tonight. And I did not come even close to what Clint threw down.

  212. 212.

    Spiffy

    I’m glad the Repubs had their convention first. Now Obama and the Dems know what NOT to do.

  213. 213.

    Cacti

    @Walker:

    That is going to look so good in an Obama commercial. What idiot speech writer thought that was an intelligent thing to say?

    Didn’t Mitt write his own speech tonight?

  214. 214.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    So, if the Obama campaign really wants to win, they’ll just put a big screen up on stage and rerun the Republican convention, while they have popcorn.

  215. 215.

    Donald G

    So, UNLIMITED CORPORATE CASH buys you a demented Clint Eastwood and a chair. That’s good to know.

  216. 216.

    Corner Stone

    @Spiffy: You mean not invite Christie or Eastwood to speak? I’m pretty sure they had that.

    But this begs the question. What kooky bitch of a “liberal” Hollywood persona could they invite to bone the fucking place up like Clint did?

  217. 217.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Corner Stone:

    What kooky bitch of a “liberal” Hollywood persona could they invite to bone the fucking place up like Clint did?

    Any of them, duh.

  218. 218.

    Corner Stone

    @Just Some Fuckhead: IMO they should do a one night convention. Keep it to solid pols, no Bill Clinton, no noms looking forward to 2016, no kooky ass Hollywood personalities.
    Just let Biden ramble a bit. Then let Obama come on, make fun of Biden a bit, then LAY THE SMACK DOWN.
    Wrap this up nice and tight.

  221. 221.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    The idiots on MSNBC are marveling that Romney made a case for the equal rights of women using his mother’s run for the Senate as an example.

    Ya know, instead of asking why this even fucking has to be brought up at a Republican convention.

  222. 222.

    Caz

    Your post doesn’t even make any sense. What’s so insanely weird and off the wall about anything at the RNC? Or is it just that you hadn’t had your daily drama queen outburst yet, so all your BJ readers get to hear it in a blog post?

    The whole week has been a run-of-the-mill political convention, with boring and mundane speeches, typical and unsurprising speakers, no surprises whatsoever. Oh wait, Clint Eastwood spoke, which is only surprising in the fact that he’s an actor and 99% of actors are liberals. I think Kelsey Grammar and Eastwood may be the only ones out there on the left coast.

    Hopefully, most of the country is not as usefully idiotic as you and your BJ crew, so that the lesser of two bad candidates wins in November. I’m not expecting Mitt to fix everything, but I think he can at least stop the bleeding, or maybe slow it down. Which would be a huge improvement over the bloodletting spree that Obama has had us on for the last 4 years.

    You do realize our national debt went from $9 trillion to $16 trillion during his term, right??

    And we’re still running $1 trillion deficits every single year.

    What exactly do you tell yourself to justify this kind of insane conduct and out-of-control spending? At what point do you start saying that Bush is not responsible and that the spending spree is no longer necessary to clean up Bush’s mess?

    I thought a smart guy like you would figure it out after a while, but you’re either not as smart as I thought or far more gullible than I thought. They say jump, you say how high. This is politics and the welfare of our nation, not religion and emotional investment where you can just have faith and support your beloved in the face of total failure and corruption. Sad and pathetic.

    And spare me the troll comments, retards, I get it already.

  223. 223.

    dance around in your bones

    This has been a MOST entertaining thread. I swear, I don’t know what I would do without the Balloon Juice filter. Watching that fail-show whilst reading the comments here…..priceless.

    Caz – just go somewhere else. Please.

  227. 227.

    JustRuss

    @Corner Stone:

    What kooky bitch of a “liberal” Hollywood persona could they invite to bone the fucking place up like Clint did?

    I think Samuel L Jackson and a chair could be bloody epic

  228. 228.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    Those were the dollar amounts and he was emphasizing that no matter the problem, Americans roll up their sleeves and get to work.

    Even if they have to get two jobs to almost replace the one he took from them.

  230. 230.

    YellowJournalism

    That couldn’t have been more embarrassing even if Eastwood had walked onstage shirtless next to an orangutan.

  231. 231.

    Corner Stone

    @JustRuss: O.M.G. Samuel L. would kick that empty chair’s ass so hard it wouldn’t even know which corner to go to and fall apart.
    “Say it again! I dare you!”

  232. 232.

    RadioOne

    I want to preface this by saying that Clint Eastwood is the greatest vocal conservative actor/director’s of all time. He was better than John Wayne in making movies that were exciting and relevant to American culture during the spaghetti western era, and continued to remain relevant well into the 1990s.

    Tonight was uncomfortable and embarrassing. There are people at the RNC now saying that tonight was so bad that they think Eastwood is a Hollywood liberal shill who sold the Romney campaign a bag of goods, only to screw them over. Despite the fact he’s been a Republican for ages.

  234. 234.

    Milliegogo

    Counting on an 82 year old to jazz up your convention probably seemed like the bee’s knees when it was first suggested….by John McCain.

  235. 235.

    g

    Honestly, the Eastwood speech was so fucked up I was actually expecting him to end it by saying, “Hey, Republicans, fuck you! I was fucking with you! Vote for Barack Obama!”

  238. 238.

    Yutsano

    @Mike in NC: Cut the per thang some slack. He’s losing and he knows it, so he’s trying to suppress whatever enthusiasm we have. That is Willard’s only hope.

  240. 240.

    TenguPhule

    . What’s so insanely weird and off the wall about anything at the RNC?

    ‘When they lost that $22.00 an hour job they went out and got two $9.00 an hour jobs because Americans work that hard!’

    Mitt Just let the Fat Lady Sing through him.

    You do realize our national debt went from $9 trillion to $16 trillion during his term, right??

    You do realize all it came from problems caused by Republicans, right?

  241. 241.

    TenguPhule

    At what point do you start saying that Bush is not responsible and that the spending spree is no longer necessary to clean up Bush’s mess?

    When Bush is actually no longer responsible and we finally clean up his mess. Which looks to be at least another 20 years provided we can keep Republicans away from the shiny red buttons. Otherwise, never.

  246. 246.

    sparrow

    @Anya: They have the advantage of knowing most Americans (and especially the mouth-breather tea-bagger sort) have never been to another country.

  247. 247.

    DaddyJ

    Urg. I could only watch half of Eastwood’s speech. Sad and embarrassing more than any thing else.

    This obsession the Republicans of putting words in Obama’s mouth; attributing thoughts to him that there’s no evidence he has — what is up with that? Would they do that with any other Democrat? Carry on an imaginary smack down with him on Prime Time TV? It’s sick.

    On substance, what were Eastwood’s issues? That Obama didn’t do enough for the unemployed? Yeah, he listenened too much to Wall Street, Clint. That Obama didn’t pull us out of Afghanistan soon enough? Really? Is that the Republican position now? That we’re now too cowardly to obey the rule of law and hold trials in New York City?

    That’s the point at which I bailed. Just too sad.

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