Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

“But what about the lurkers?”

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Let there be snark.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

In my day, never was longer.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

No one could have predicted…

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Consistently wrong since 2002

You are here: Home / Food & Recipes / Cooking / Thursday Recipe Exchange: SPAM! (Challenge Accepted)

Thursday Recipe Exchange: SPAM! (Challenge Accepted)

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JeffreyW’s Spam Fried Rice
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Because mechanically extruded spiced meat product is waaay healthier than whatever the GOP nominee will squeeze out this evening. From our Food Goddess, TaMara:

Before there was Bennifer, before there was Bradgelina, before anyone thought about using a portmanteau to create romantic links ad nauseam, there was the original. The one. The only. SPAM. That undeniable (some would say inedible) combination of spice and ham, first canned in 1937. (Yeah, I can’t believe I’m writing this either.)

Last week commenter Martin challenged JeffreyW and me to come up with SPAM recipes. How we got to that I have no idea. Not one to be intimidated by a challenge, I consulted with JeffreyW and then said, “eh, let’s not”. Too late. JeffreyW was off and running. His first batch of entries can be found here (and they are works of art, truly).

I reluctantly dove in and you can find my entries here. I was unimpressed, no matter how creative I got in the kitchen. But JeffreyW soldiered on and here are his final two entries, as tonight’s featured recipes. In the end, I’d say we had fun.

SPAM on.

Pictured above, SPAM Fried Rice. From JeffreyW:

Mrs J opted to eat the fried rice, she liked it. Has the Spam, onions, a minced clove of garlic, grated carrots, green peas, a fried scrambled egg in strips, a dash of soy sauce and a few drops of fish sauce – garnished with thin green onion slices.

And the coup de grâce, also from JeffreyW:

__

Gallina de Madre

4 thick-cut slices country bread
Extra-virgin olive oil
salt and freshly ground black pepper
8 thin slices SPAM
4 eggs

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Lay bread out on a sheet tray and drizzle with olive oil, season with salt and pepper and toast lightly. Spoon a dollop of béchamel (recipe below) onto each toast. Arrange 2 slices of SPAM on each slice of toast, make a small indentation so the egg will sit in it. Crack egg and drop onto each slice of SPAM/toast. Bake in oven until eggs are just cooked but the yolk is still slightly runny, about 10 minutes. Season with salt and pepper.

Bechamel:

1/4 stick unsalted butter
1 1/2 heaping tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 cup whole milk
Dash of grated whole nutmeg
Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Add the flour and stir constantly to incorporate – you do not want any color. Gradually pour in the milk as you stir, and whisk out any lumps. As the mixture thickens up continue to stir until it reaches a boil – this ensures that the flour is cooked completely. Season and set aside.

(adapted from a FoodNetwork recipe)

I would say challenge accepted and we prevailed. You can meet us in the kitchen end zone for the victory dance. (h/t jeffreyw)

Reader Interactions

39Comments

  2. 2.

    Schlemizel

    or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam

  4. 4.

    danah gaz (fka gaz)

    I do not like bread, eggs and spam.
    I do not like them in a can.
    I do not like them on a plate.
    Not even as coyote bait.

    I do not like bread, eggs and spam.
    I do not like them ever, Ma’am.

  5. 5.

    Dennis SGMM

    Well, there’s egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;

  8. 8.

    maya

    You know, right about the same time, Mitt and Ann, were eking by on tuna casserole, I duplicated their feat with two slices of Spam between two lightly toasted pieces of any kind of bread on sale smothered in catsup as my main meal many an evening whilst holding down two jobs and going through college. Sometimes I would put an egg on it. Sunday meal, I think.
    Sadly, my Spam days are long over but I do have fond memories. Thank you, JefferyW. That second photo looks mightily familiar – sans the culinary additions. There were no chilies available in Jersey City then.

  11. 11.

    Bokonon

    Nice to see someone else using green-striped diner china as their plates. My wife and I do that.

  12. 12.

    TaMara (BHF)

    You know how every once in a while I ask you guys for ideas for the next exchange. That’s not going to happen for a while. ;-D

    But next week, I’m thinking we’re (metaphorically) going down to New Orleans, because I’m craving a “Wash Day” lunch and I’m going to do red beans and rice for our recipe. Bring your favorite cajun/creole recipe and we’ll hopefully be celebrating NOLA safely surviving the storm.

  13. 13.

    RSA

    That first picture shows some great comfort food. My grandmother taught me, mainly by example, that fried rice is a very versatile dish. I don’t know if I’ve ever put spam in it, but hotdogs are a good last resort.

  15. 15.

    maya

    @raven: OMG! I know that cuisine as well! Anything but the ham and Lima beans ensemble, though they did toss in the best desert, (fruit cup?) to make it more…. trade worthy???

  17. 17.

    raven

    @maya: Yea, Interestingly C-rats were actually discontinued in 1958 (we still got them in Korea in 67) and M,C,I’s were what we had.

    The D-1’s were (Fruit): Halved Apricots, Sliced Peaches, Quartered Pears, Fruit Cocktail. D-1A (Fruit): Applesauce.

  19. 19.

    TaMara (BHF)

    @raven: Exactly!

    Lucille’s restaurant is literally within walking distance from my house and I’ve been tempted to stop in for lunch all week. Then I remembered I have a big jar of their spices in my cupboard and thought, why not make a big pot of beans myself?

  21. 21.

    maya

    @raven: That means I must have had the last of the fresh C-rats. Out in ’66. Then onto Spam diet for 2.5 years. Good times. Good times.

  23. 23.

    raven

    @TaMara (BHF): Bon! Our friends with the place on Burgundy had some lawn furniture on their balcony and they are pretty worried about what happened to it. Not a huge problem but still.

  27. 27.

    grandpa john

    How about that, Me and Spam was born the same year.75 years old. Hope the Spam is in better condition than I am

  28. 28.

    Nellcote

    In honor of PBO, Spam Musubi:

    Ingredients
    2 cups uncooked short-grain white rice
    2 cups water
    6 tablespoons rice vinegar
    1/4 cup soy sauce
    1/4 cup oyster sauce
    1/2 cup white sugar
    1 (12 ounce) container fully cooked luncheon meat (e.g. Spam)
    5 sheets sushi nori (dry seaweed)
    2 tablespoons vegetable oil

    Directions
    1. Soak uncooked rice for 4 hours; drain and rinse.
    2. In a saucepan bring 2 cups water to a boil. Add rice and stir. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 20 minutes. Stir in rice vinegar, and set aside to cool.
    3. In a separate bowl, stir together soy sauce, oyster sauce, and sugar until sugar is completely dissolved. Slice luncheon meat lengthwise into 10 slices, or to desired thickness, and marinate in sauce for 5 minutes.
    4. In a large skillet, heat oil over medium high heat. Cook slices for 2 minutes per side, or until lightly browned. Cut nori sheets in half and lay on a flat work surface. Place a rice press in the center of the sheet, and press rice tightly inside. Top with a slice of luncheon meat, and remove press. Wrap nori around rice mold, sealing edges with a small amount of water. (Rice may also be formed by hand in the shape of the meat slices, 1 inch thick.) Musubi may be served warm or chilled.

    http://allrecipes.com/recipe/spam-musubi/

  29. 29.

    pseudonymous in nc

    Yeah, I made spam musubi for in-laws (though I refrain from such things myself) and they were surprised and delighted. Teriyaki out of a bottle for the marinade, but who wants to glam up spam sushi?

  31. 31.

    Mnemosyne

    I made this Island-Style Fried Rice for our potluck Christmas luau this year and it was a pretty big hit. It does turn out a little greasy, though — I used reduced-fat Spam (yes, it exists) and Aidell’s chicken sausage and it was still on the greasy side. Really, really good, though.

  34. 34.

    CA Doc

    We make fried rice with bacon and served it to several sets of friends while camping this summer-it was a big hit all around. A staple of NorCal Japanese American cuisine. Or you can do it with Spam or hot dogs. With a fried egg on top, nothing better. But not good for you, obviously
    And Spam musubi is the bomb. My husband’s aunt used to bring it to every family function.

  35. 35.

    Phil P.

    @Linkmeister: Damn, I miss Hawaii. Spam musubi was always the perfect quick hangover fix on the way to work.

    And try as a I might (and I have) there is just no real saimin to be found on the mainland. Hell, I’d pay a 3x premium just to be able to eat at a Zippy’s now.

  36. 36.

    Dennis SGMM

    @raven:

    Yea, Interestingly C-rats were actually discontinued in 1958 (we still got them in Korea in 67) and M,C,I’s were what we had.

    We were still eating C Rations where I was in 71-72. The Navy wasn’t exactly in tune with the times. We’d heat them up by burning a lump of C4 which had the side benefit of scaring the hell out of newbies. It always tickled me that they included a little packet of toilet paper because if you ate C-rats for any amount of time you became too constipated to need it.

  37. 37.

    raven

    @Dennis SGMM: We called them C-rations too but :

    The C-Ration, or Type C ration, was an individual canned, pre-cooked, or prepared wet ration intended to be issued to U.S. military land forces when fresh food (A-ration) or packaged unprepared food (B-Ration) prepared in mess halls or field kitchens was impractical or not available, and when a survival ration (K-ration or D-ration) was insufficient. Development began in 1938 with the first rations being field tested in 1940 and wide-scale adoption following soon after. Following World War II, cost concerns later caused the C-ration to be standardized for field issue regardless of environmental suitability or weight limitations.

    The C ration was replaced in 1958 with the Meal Combat Individual (MCI).[1] Although officially a new ration, the MCI was derived from and very similar to the original C ration, and in fact continued to be called “C rations” by American troops throughout its production life as a combat ration (1958–1980).[1] Although the replacement for the MCI, the MRE, was formally adopted as the Department of Defense combat ration in 1975, the first large-scale production test did not occur until in 1978 with the first MRE I rations packed and delivered in 1981.[2][3] While the MRE officially replaced the MCI in 1981, previously packed MCI rations continued to be issued until depleted.[1]

  38. 38.

    Dennis SGMM

    @raven:
    Ah ha. All I knew was that the rats came in little boxes and that they were dense as all get-out. Those round crackers were good if you slathered them with peanut butter (From a huge, olive green can) and jelly. I also recall that the ones we had were so old that the cocoa powder had bugs in it.
    Good times.

  39. 39.

    low-tech cyclist

    @Violet:

    Thread is not complete without this.

    Or this:

    Oh, spam on the table at home (ham and pork)
    Think about selection, are there different flavors now (let’s eat)
    Spam in my office at work (it’s the best)
    Think about the stuff it’s made from, wonder if it’s mystery meat

    If you need a spoon, keep one around
    Carry a thermos to help wash it down
    Now, if there’s some left, don’t just throw it out
    Use it for spackle or bathroom grout

    -Al Yankovic, “Spam” (to the tune of R.E.M.’s “Stand”)

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