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I’ve been thinking about a simple Romney Drinking game. I have it narrowed to a choice between two options.
In choice A, you take a drink every time he lies. And in choice B you take a shot when he tells the truth.
But there is a problem.
One of these choices will drain every bottle of booze in the house, while the other will keep you dry all night long.
Perhaps there are some other options.
Any ideas?
Cheers
The Bobs
Kind of hard to top TBogg on something like this. He is kind of a superpower in that regard.
Lord Jesus Perm
You take a shot every time he lies, and you’re dead at alcohol poisoning within 10 minutes.
You take a shot whenever he tells the truth, and you’re left wondering why in the hell you wasted 20 minutes of your life listening to someone as worthless as Mitt Romney.
Decisions…..
Jeff
Choice B. Every once in a while, he’ll say something like “My name is Mitt Romney”.
brent
@Jeff: But his name is Willard Romney. No drink for you.
Villago Delenda Est
If you take a shot if he tells the truth, you’re in very little danger of a DUI.
Contrariwise, you’ll be completely smashed in the first 5 minutes, tops.
trollhattan
@Jeff:
“Bzzzt” it’s Willard. Put down that shotglass, young’n.
“I have two arms.”
How do you know they’re real?
“My wife, Ann.”
Co-bot.
“My boys.”
Li’l batteries pooped by your co-bot.
“My belief we should bomb Iran”
Now, we drink.
RyanayR
“My name is Mitt Romney, I have a wife, five sons, and am a proud American” would fuck a lightweight like me up.
[look up the definition of pride before critiquing the veracity]
Roger Moore
Every time he tells a lie that’s been thoroughly debunked, you take a small sip. Every time he tells a brand new lie he hasn’t used before, you take a shot. You’ll still get smashed, but you probably won’t die of alcohol poisoning.
MikeJ
This is how the Mormon religion was founded.
trollhattan
@Jeff:
“Bzzzt” it’s Willard. Put down that shotglass, young’n.
“I have two arms.”
How do you know they’re real?
“My wife, Ann.”
Co-bot.
“My boys.”
Li’l batteries pooped by your co-bot.
“My belief we should bomb Iran”
Now, we drink.
Roger Moore
Every time he tells a lie that’s been thoroughly debunked, you take a small sip. Every time he tells a brand new lie he hasn’t used before, you take a shot. You’ll still get smashed, but you probably won’t die of alcohol poisoning.
Omnes Omnibus
Why not compromise and simply do a shot every 30 seconds while he is speaking?
MikeJ
This is how the Mormon religion was founded.
Roger Moore
Every time he tells a lie that’s been thoroughly debunked, you take a small sip. Every time he tells a brand new lie he hasn’t used before, you take a shot. You’ll still get smashed, but you probably won’t die of alcohol poisoning.
raven
Football or Romney? Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.
Keith
Alcohol for lies, coffee for the truth.
Omnes Omnibus
Why not compromise and simply do a shot every 30 seconds while he is speaking?
Robin G.
Take a drink every time you reach for the remote to throw it at the television.
Robin G.
Take a drink every time you reach for the remote to throw it at the television.
japa21
Since I’ll be watching football, I will probably remain sober.
Dennis G.
@Jeff: But isn’t Willard his real given name?
jze
Definitely a War Games situation. The only way to win is choosing not to play.
MattF
Do you have a liver? Take choice B, have mercy on it.
MattF
Do you have a liver? Take choice B, have mercy on it.
MattF
Do you have a liver? Take choice B, have mercy on it.
MattF
I posted that dead sober. Swear to G-d.
4tehlulz
Drink every time WP dupes a post.
R. Porrofatto
I listened to the Christie, McCain, Rice and Ryan speeches. I played my own drinking game, where I downed a shot every time I heard any mention of these:
Bush
bank
banker
bailout
tax cuts
TARP
Wall Street
War on Terror
financial reform
welfare
tax cuts
Iraq War
Afghanistan
soldiers killed in Iraq (Afghanistan, etc.)
Sadly, this drinking game just kept me stone cold sober. I’m going to start drinking well ahead of Romney’s speech. He won’t say any of this either, but half in the bag is the only way to listen.
John E Williams
The Romney Drinking Game for Recovering Alcoholics:
Every time Romney praises George W. Bush or his accomplishments, do a shot.
Felinious Wench
You can’t do either one of these. You’ll end up dead from alcohol poisoning. There are so many fun topics we could drink for instead.
Releasing tax returns
Anything related to Obamacare and how he did NOT support it as governor.
His new pro-life stance
How his tenure at Bain means he’s a job creator and knows how to run a business
“People should not be punished for being successful in this country.”
Welfare of any kind
Offshore anything, including accounts or labor
Commitment to the future of social security
Anything around Obama running up the largest deficit in history.
Ronald Reagan
“The party of Lincoln”
His commitment to women and hispanics. I want some pandering, damn it!
Lack of commitment to Israel
Freedom of religion and how it’s gone to hell since the birth control messiness
And if he tries to tell a joke, just down the whole bottle.
I’m going out to have red wine and steak tonight, but I will be with all of you in spirit. Please keep me updated here so I’ll know when to order another bottle, but I’ll be goddamned if I watch the freak parade live.
~FW
Dennis G.
@4tehlulz: That will empty the bottles as well…
John E Williams
My version, the bottle stays nice and full.
Linnaeus
Russian Standard. Good choice.
LanceThruster
I wuz gonna say you could have a drink at, “Hi, I’m Mitt Romney”…but his name is Willard.
LanceThruster
@Linnaeus:
[thumps chest] Them’s my peeps!
LanceThruster
The Romney-bot gives Wafflebot a bad name.
Wafflebot haz a sad.
Geoduck
How about drink every time he makes a specific policy proposal, however vile and evil, that he will pursue as President?
And for the football-watchers, be aware that the refs have all been replaced with utterly incompetent scabs. And yes, by all reports, it makes a difference.
chopper
i’m not leaving my children fatherless and my wife without a husband, so a) has to go.
OTOH, i’m not a teetotaler, so b) is right out.
isn’t there some sort of compromise(tm) here?
chopper
@Geoduck:
what are you, an alcohol hater? this guy has no specific anything.
“i will balance the budget”
“how??”
“that’s for me to know and you to never, ever find out”
LanceThruster
@chopper:
But, but, but, just the other night Ann said, “You can trust Mitt.”
I mean, seriously…what more do you people want?!
LanceThruster
Looks like I picked a bad time to stop sniffing glue.
MattF
Just occurred to me that your premise is that I’d be listening to Mitt give his speech. Ha ha. In fact, I’ll be reading the third Sandman Slim novel “Aloha From Hell”– which is a lot more appropriate for the occasion. This reading, fwiw, is in preparation for the fourth novel “Devil Said Bang” which the postman will be delivering any day now.
Ms. D. Ranged in AZ (formerly IrishGirl)
Take a Shot every time he says job creators, entitlement, Obamacare …it will get you toasty but he can’t spend the entire speech on those topics, can he?
jp7505a
Seems that Rolling Stone has a big story about how Romeny really saved the consulting firm Bain. Seems that after the stripped out most of the money to start Bain Capital, the consulting company almost went belly-up. Mitt road to the rescue by blackmailing FDIC into forgiving millions in loans and sticking the tax payer with a 10 million dollar tab. Even Gordon Gekko would blush.
Jeff
Willard may be his birth name, but Mitt is how he prefers to be addressed, so that’s his name as far as I’m concerned (political correctness and all that — snerk).
I wonder if he’ll mention that his dad was born in Mexico, or that his ancestors emigrated so they could practice “traditional marriage”…
Ed Drone
The first night of the Convention, I invented the teetotal drinking game — down a shot every time one of the speakers commemorated MLK’s “I Have a Dream” speech, whose anniversary coincided with that day.
Didn’t even have to get the bottle from the likker cabinet.
And haven’t since.
Ed
jp7505a
@Jeff: Doesn’t that make him an anchor baby
Ken
Take a shot every time he contradicts something he said earlier in the speech. Double shot if it was within the previous two minutes. Triple shot if it is within the same sentence (a la “Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia, and we will forever stand by our ally Eastasia in opposition to our eternal enemy Eurasia”).
TenguPhule
You tempt fate at your own peril.
TenguPhule
You tempt fate at your own peril.
TenguPhule
1 Sip for tax cuts.
2 Sips for Regulation Reform.
1 sip for More Drilling.
2 Sips for Medicare Reform.
Finish the bottle and take the rest of the night off if he starts attacking Obama on Bush Policy carryovers.