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You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2012 / Your Romney Drinking Game: A choice between drunk or sober…

Your Romney Drinking Game: A choice between drunk or sober…

by Dennis G.|  August 30, 20125:11 pm| 51 Comments

This post is in: Election 2012, Open Threads, Romney of the Uncanny Valley

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<a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/59124558@N06/7896332128/” title=”Romney-Drinking-Game. by dengre.bj, on Flickr”><img src=”http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8035/7896332128_c7a503bfae.jpg” width=”365″ height=”500″ alt=”Romney-Drinking-Game.”></a>

I’ve been thinking about a simple Romney Drinking game. I have it narrowed to a choice between two options.

In choice A, you take a drink every time he lies. And in choice B you take a shot when he tells the truth.

But there is a problem.

One of these choices will drain every bottle of booze in the house, while the other will keep you dry all night long.

Perhaps there are some other options.

Any ideas?

Cheers

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Reader Interactions

51Comments

  1. 1.

    The Bobs

    August 30, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    Kind of hard to top TBogg on something like this. He is kind of a superpower in that regard.

  2. 2.

    Lord Jesus Perm

    August 30, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    You take a shot every time he lies, and you’re dead at alcohol poisoning within 10 minutes.

    You take a shot whenever he tells the truth, and you’re left wondering why in the hell you wasted 20 minutes of your life listening to someone as worthless as Mitt Romney.

    Decisions…..

  3. 3.

    Jeff

    August 30, 2012 at 5:15 pm

    Choice B. Every once in a while, he’ll say something like “My name is Mitt Romney”.

  4. 4.

    brent

    August 30, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    @Jeff: But his name is Willard Romney. No drink for you.

  5. 5.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 30, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    If you take a shot if he tells the truth, you’re in very little danger of a DUI.

    Contrariwise, you’ll be completely smashed in the first 5 minutes, tops.

  6. 6.

    trollhattan

    August 30, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    @Jeff:
    “Bzzzt” it’s Willard. Put down that shotglass, young’n.

    “I have two arms.”
    How do you know they’re real?
    “My wife, Ann.”
    Co-bot.
    “My boys.”
    Li’l batteries pooped by your co-bot.
    “My belief we should bomb Iran”
    Now, we drink.

  7. 7.

    RyanayR

    August 30, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    “My name is Mitt Romney, I have a wife, five sons, and am a proud American” would fuck a lightweight like me up.

    [look up the definition of pride before critiquing the veracity]

  8. 8.

    Roger Moore

    August 30, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    Every time he tells a lie that’s been thoroughly debunked, you take a small sip. Every time he tells a brand new lie he hasn’t used before, you take a shot. You’ll still get smashed, but you probably won’t die of alcohol poisoning.

  9. 9.

    MikeJ

    August 30, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    take a shot when he tells the truth.

    This is how the Mormon religion was founded.

  10. 10.

    trollhattan

    August 30, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    @Jeff:
    “Bzzzt” it’s Willard. Put down that shotglass, young’n.

    “I have two arms.”
    How do you know they’re real?
    “My wife, Ann.”
    Co-bot.
    “My boys.”
    Li’l batteries pooped by your co-bot.
    “My belief we should bomb Iran”
    Now, we drink.

  11. 11.

    Roger Moore

    August 30, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    Every time he tells a lie that’s been thoroughly debunked, you take a small sip. Every time he tells a brand new lie he hasn’t used before, you take a shot. You’ll still get smashed, but you probably won’t die of alcohol poisoning.

  12. 12.

    Omnes Omnibus

    August 30, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    Why not compromise and simply do a shot every 30 seconds while he is speaking?

  13. 13.

    MikeJ

    August 30, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    take a shot when he tells the truth.

    This is how the Mormon religion was founded.

  14. 14.

    Roger Moore

    August 30, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    Every time he tells a lie that’s been thoroughly debunked, you take a small sip. Every time he tells a brand new lie he hasn’t used before, you take a shot. You’ll still get smashed, but you probably won’t die of alcohol poisoning.

  15. 15.

    raven

    August 30, 2012 at 5:25 pm

    Football or Romney? Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

  16. 16.

    Keith

    August 30, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    Alcohol for lies, coffee for the truth.

  17. 17.

    Omnes Omnibus

    August 30, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    Why not compromise and simply do a shot every 30 seconds while he is speaking?

  18. 18.

    Robin G.

    August 30, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    Take a drink every time you reach for the remote to throw it at the television.

  19. 19.

    Robin G.

    August 30, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    Take a drink every time you reach for the remote to throw it at the television.

  20. 20.

    japa21

    August 30, 2012 at 5:30 pm

    Since I’ll be watching football, I will probably remain sober.

  21. 21.

    Dennis G.

    August 30, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    @Jeff: But isn’t Willard his real given name?

  22. 22.

    jze

    August 30, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    Definitely a War Games situation. The only way to win is choosing not to play.

  23. 23.

    MattF

    August 30, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    Do you have a liver? Take choice B, have mercy on it.

  24. 24.

    MattF

    August 30, 2012 at 5:35 pm

    Do you have a liver? Take choice B, have mercy on it.

  25. 25.

    MattF

    August 30, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    Do you have a liver? Take choice B, have mercy on it.

  26. 26.

    MattF

    August 30, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    I posted that dead sober. Swear to G-d.

  27. 27.

    4tehlulz

    August 30, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    Drink every time WP dupes a post.

  28. 28.

    R. Porrofatto

    August 30, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    I listened to the Christie, McCain, Rice and Ryan speeches. I played my own drinking game, where I downed a shot every time I heard any mention of these:
    Bush
    bank
    banker
    bailout
    tax cuts
    TARP
    Wall Street
    War on Terror
    financial reform
    welfare
    tax cuts
    Iraq War
    Afghanistan
    soldiers killed in Iraq (Afghanistan, etc.)

    Sadly, this drinking game just kept me stone cold sober. I’m going to start drinking well ahead of Romney’s speech. He won’t say any of this either, but half in the bag is the only way to listen.

  29. 29.

    John E Williams

    August 30, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    The Romney Drinking Game for Recovering Alcoholics:

    Every time Romney praises George W. Bush or his accomplishments, do a shot.

  30. 30.

    Felinious Wench

    August 30, 2012 at 6:02 pm

    You can’t do either one of these. You’ll end up dead from alcohol poisoning. There are so many fun topics we could drink for instead.

    Releasing tax returns

    Anything related to Obamacare and how he did NOT support it as governor.

    His new pro-life stance

    How his tenure at Bain means he’s a job creator and knows how to run a business

    “People should not be punished for being successful in this country.”

    Welfare of any kind

    Offshore anything, including accounts or labor

    Commitment to the future of social security

    Anything around Obama running up the largest deficit in history.

    Ronald Reagan

    “The party of Lincoln”

    His commitment to women and hispanics. I want some pandering, damn it!

    Lack of commitment to Israel

    Freedom of religion and how it’s gone to hell since the birth control messiness

    And if he tries to tell a joke, just down the whole bottle.

    I’m going out to have red wine and steak tonight, but I will be with all of you in spirit. Please keep me updated here so I’ll know when to order another bottle, but I’ll be goddamned if I watch the freak parade live.

    ~FW

  31. 31.

    Dennis G.

    August 30, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    @4tehlulz: That will empty the bottles as well…

  32. 32.

    John E Williams

    August 30, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    My version, the bottle stays nice and full.

  33. 33.

    Linnaeus

    August 30, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    Russian Standard. Good choice.

  34. 34.

    LanceThruster

    August 30, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    I wuz gonna say you could have a drink at, “Hi, I’m Mitt Romney”…but his name is Willard.

  35. 35.

    LanceThruster

    August 30, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    @Linnaeus:

    [thumps chest] Them’s my peeps!

  36. 36.

    LanceThruster

    August 30, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    The Romney-bot gives Wafflebot a bad name.

    Wafflebot haz a sad.

  37. 37.

    Geoduck

    August 30, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    How about drink every time he makes a specific policy proposal, however vile and evil, that he will pursue as President?

    And for the football-watchers, be aware that the refs have all been replaced with utterly incompetent scabs. And yes, by all reports, it makes a difference.

  38. 38.

    chopper

    August 30, 2012 at 6:34 pm

    i’m not leaving my children fatherless and my wife without a husband, so a) has to go.

    OTOH, i’m not a teetotaler, so b) is right out.

    isn’t there some sort of compromise(tm) here?

  39. 39.

    chopper

    August 30, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    @Geoduck:

    How about drink every time he makes a specific policy proposal, however vile and evil, that he will pursue as President?

    what are you, an alcohol hater? this guy has no specific anything.

    “i will balance the budget”
    “how??”
    “that’s for me to know and you to never, ever find out”

  40. 40.

    LanceThruster

    August 30, 2012 at 6:39 pm

    @chopper:

    But, but, but, just the other night Ann said, “You can trust Mitt.”

    I mean, seriously…what more do you people want?!

  41. 41.

    LanceThruster

    August 30, 2012 at 6:41 pm

    Looks like I picked a bad time to stop sniffing glue.

  42. 42.

    MattF

    August 30, 2012 at 7:01 pm

    Just occurred to me that your premise is that I’d be listening to Mitt give his speech. Ha ha. In fact, I’ll be reading the third Sandman Slim novel “Aloha From Hell”– which is a lot more appropriate for the occasion. This reading, fwiw, is in preparation for the fourth novel “Devil Said Bang” which the postman will be delivering any day now.

  43. 43.

    Ms. D. Ranged in AZ (formerly IrishGirl)

    August 30, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    Take a Shot every time he says job creators, entitlement, Obamacare …it will get you toasty but he can’t spend the entire speech on those topics, can he?

  44. 44.

    jp7505a

    August 30, 2012 at 7:18 pm

    Seems that Rolling Stone has a big story about how Romeny really saved the consulting firm Bain. Seems that after the stripped out most of the money to start Bain Capital, the consulting company almost went belly-up. Mitt road to the rescue by blackmailing FDIC into forgiving millions in loans and sticking the tax payer with a 10 million dollar tab. Even Gordon Gekko would blush.

  45. 45.

    Jeff

    August 30, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    Willard may be his birth name, but Mitt is how he prefers to be addressed, so that’s his name as far as I’m concerned (political correctness and all that — snerk).

    I wonder if he’ll mention that his dad was born in Mexico, or that his ancestors emigrated so they could practice “traditional marriage”…

  46. 46.

    Ed Drone

    August 30, 2012 at 8:17 pm

    The first night of the Convention, I invented the teetotal drinking game — down a shot every time one of the speakers commemorated MLK’s “I Have a Dream” speech, whose anniversary coincided with that day.

    Didn’t even have to get the bottle from the likker cabinet.

    And haven’t since.

    Ed

  47. 47.

    jp7505a

    August 30, 2012 at 8:19 pm

    @Jeff: Doesn’t that make him an anchor baby

  48. 48.

    Ken

    August 30, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    Take a shot every time he contradicts something he said earlier in the speech. Double shot if it was within the previous two minutes. Triple shot if it is within the same sentence (a la “Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia, and we will forever stand by our ally Eastasia in opposition to our eternal enemy Eurasia”).

  49. 49.

    TenguPhule

    August 30, 2012 at 10:25 pm

    it will get you toasty but he can’t spend the entire speech on those topics, can he?

    You tempt fate at your own peril.

  50. 50.

    TenguPhule

    August 30, 2012 at 10:25 pm

    it will get you toasty but he can’t spend the entire speech on those topics, can he?

    You tempt fate at your own peril.

  51. 51.

    TenguPhule

    August 30, 2012 at 10:30 pm

    Perhaps there are some other options.

    1 Sip for tax cuts.

    2 Sips for Regulation Reform.

    1 sip for More Drilling.

    2 Sips for Medicare Reform.

    Finish the bottle and take the rest of the night off if he starts attacking Obama on Bush Policy carryovers.

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