Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

Beware of advice from anyone for whom Democrats are “they” and not “we.”

You would normally have to try pretty hard to self-incriminate this badly.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

This blog will pay for itself.

When they say they are pro-life, they do not mean yours.

The way to stop violence is to stop manufacturing the hatred that fuels it.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Republicans do not trust women.

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Reality always gets a vote in the end.

Oppose, oppose, oppose. do not congratulate. this is not business as usual.

The lights are all blinking red.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Fight for a just cause, love your fellow man, live a good life.

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Reader Interactions

67Comments

  3. 3.

    RedKitten

    Have fun, Cole! And don’t partake in any activity that is preceded by the following utterance from ABL: “Oh come on…it’s not like you’ll ever see any of these people again!”

  4. 4.

    cathyx

    Forget about bail. I think spending some time in jail will do you some good. Teach you a lesson, give you time to think about your sins and sober up.

  5. 5.

    RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist

    He’s out of his shell, folks. Stay tuned for details. Or just watch the screen crawl on your favorite news channel for the highlights.

  7. 7.

    jl

    @Comrade Jake:

    “Pants”

    Apparently not yet, he’s getting ready for an indecency rap.

    Man, I knew Cole was nuts, way eccentric, had a few ‘quirks’ but I did not expect this.

    I expect a post soon raving about poor ABL and Heather taking ‘unauthorized’ pics and skipping their mandatory bathroom breaks.

  9. 9.

    RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist

    @RedKitten:

    And don’t partake in any activity that is preceded by the following utterance from ABL: “Oh come on…it’s not like you’ll ever see any of these people again!”

    Or the Magic Party Words “Watch This”.

  10. 10.

    geg6

    Pictures or it didn’t happen.

    From the looks of it on tv and from reporters’ reactions, the DNC is a much more enthusiastic and fun crowd. They keep marveling at how happy and excited the attendees are. Tweety said the RNC was like going to a business conference. Heh.

  11. 11.

    Comrade Mary

    This is why we should have bought John those cyborg glasses that would record everything he’s about to do. It would look something like this, I think.

  13. 13.

    Baud

    If the night doesn’t end with you and ABL stealing Mike Tyson’s tiger, I’ll be very disappointed.

  14. 14.

    John Cole

    They were not mandatory bathroom breaks. The last woman I used to travel with a lot had a bladder the size of a thumbnail, so I am just conditioned that every time I see a sign that says “REST AREA- NEXT REST STOP 92 MILES” I ask if anyone needs to go so I don’t have to pull over in some town that was used for the set of Deliverance.

    And I have shorts, just no pants, pants.

  18. 18.

    celticdragonchick

    @John Cole:

    I ask if anyone needs to go so I don’t have to pull over in some town that was used for the set of Deliverance.

    That would be I-40 in NC between Winston Salem and Hickory.

  19. 19.

    phoebes-in-santa fe

    1. Who’s taking care of Cole’s animals?
    2. Aren’t Cole, ABL, and her friend staying in the same place?

  20. 20.

    jl

    Our favorite crazy uncle warms up for the Dem convention. I like his phrase, Obama does no operate “the Bain way”. It’s a little creepy, reminds me too much of Dr. Benway, but for the GOP ticket, it fits.

    Joe Biden Speech in Lordstown, Ohio, 8/31/12

    youtu.be/gwLVKywi-ho

    Something goes wrong with the URL when I try to put in a link, thinks it supposed to shown in a frame, so I will just paste in the youtube URL and hope for the best.

  23. 23.

    jl

    And here is Obama

    President Obama in Charlottesville, VA: “Sometimes they just make things up.”
    youtu.be/nFg66bppNG4

    I see both Obama and Biden are exploring ‘civil’ ways to call out the GOP lies. Biden, usually the loose cannon, is more conservative and says the GOP says stuff that is ‘not on the level’. That’s nice, I hope Willard doesn’t ask him to apologize.

    Here Obama talks about a certain party that sometimes ‘just makes things up”

  24. 24.

    geg6

    @phoebes-in-santa fe:

    1. I’m guessing Cole mere and pere have custody of the piglets and Tunch.

    2. They are, but Heather has been resting today and Cole has been “working” on something or other. ABL has been the social butterfly of the bunch, out DNCing all day. Myself, I’d have been hanging with Imani, eating fried catfish and hanging with friendly peeps and generally enjoying myself. But I’m not a CWG, so I can only guess they are not as much fun at parties as ABLs are.

  27. 27.

    jl

    @John Cole:

    OK, thanks for the info. I was getting worried a little.

    Edit: by shorts I assume Cole does NOT mean boxers. I try to give charitable interpretations to all BJ front poster statements. See how fair I am?

  30. 30.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Walker:

    Pah try driving to the Ozarks to an Auction House in the middle of nowhere to pick up DH’s kids in a dry county that has things hanging off the walls that are probably dead tourists, where the guitars and banjos stop playing the minute you enter the room.

  31. 31.

    Mnemosyne

    I’m not sure this was the best post title to choose if you wanted people to stop teasing you over the whole “no pants” thing.

    Just sayin’.

  34. 34.

    WaterGirl

    @geg6: Cole does have a job, teaching at the university, right? It’s near the beginning of the semester so it’s not crazy to think that he might have some work to do.

  36. 36.

    Joshua Norton

    So is every post going to be about Cole’s pants? This got old about 50 posts ago. It’s like spending time with my crazy aunt who can only remember how I let her cat out when I was 12 and never stops talking about it.

  38. 38.

    Josie

    @John Cole: Pay no attention to these jealous naysayers. I know that your attire and your behavior at this event will be above reproach. Or something……

  39. 39.

    geg6

    @WaterGirl:

    Heh, he’s having fun in Charlotte and his students now have a week’s worth of assignments posted on Blackboard. He probably loaded them up with work so he can go gallivanting around without pants with beautiful younger women.

  41. 41.

    Amir Khalid

    @Joshua Norton:
    Are you new here? We the Juicitariat are absolutely fascinated by the minutiae of John Cole’s daily existence — his refurbished bathroom, his meals, his pets, his social life. Whatever he deigns to share with us, it’s all good.

  47. 47.

    divF

    @Walker:

    Many years ago, I went to a professional meeting in Fairfield Glade, TN, a golf / condo resort off I-40 between Nashville and Knoxville. The Disneylike atmosphere was driving me round the bend, so I crossed over to the south side of I-40 to Crossville to get some breakfast. Lovely, hospitable people, with only the minor quirk of wanting to serve grits with anything you ordered (sort of like the Monty Python “Spam” skit).

  54. 54.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @Joshua Norton:

    It’s like spending time with my crazy aunt who can only remember how I let her cat out when I was 12 and never stops talking about it.

    This place is supposed to be like hanging out with crazy relatives. That’s its charm.

  55. 55.

    atlliberal

    @John Cole: John, Those are the best places to stop on a long road trip! there are places in NC that look like they haven’t changed so much as a stoplight in 50 years. To me it’s much better to get some local flavor, than to stop at a rest area that looks like all the other rest areas. Where’s your sense of adventure? Actually I’m glad you were adventurous enough to go on this trip at all, so pay no attention to me or anyone else’s criticism. Have a good time!

  56. 56.

    jl

    @WaterGirl:

    ” Cole does have a job, teaching at the university, right? ”

    What? Cole is some kind of perfesser!? I did not know that.

    OK, I have to admit, Cole sounds pretty normal for one o’ them kollej perfessers.

  57. 57.

    murakami

    @Anne Laurie:

    In my home state of Arkansas, the phrase is “hold my beer! now watch this!”

    But West Virginians might be more badass and take their beer along for the ride into certain doom.

  59. 59.

    Josie

    @Amir Khalid: There were no pictures. John told the story in a comment, back in 2009. It was epic:

    “Oh, I’m fine.

    I decided to combine some housecleaning with personal hygiene, stripped naked to mop the bathroom and mopped my way into the tub, then, forgetting that the last time I showered I had not turned the knob back so that the water would come out the bottom when I turned it back on, started the shower. This, of course, shot cold water onto the back of my head and neck and back, causing me to shoot straight up into the air, trying to stabilize myself with the mop, slipping, and falling through the shower curtain, almost braining myself on the commode.

    I won’t do that again.”

  62. 62.

    PurpleGirl

    @Josie: Thank you for getting that for us. It’s hysterical.

    JGC for all his reclusive tendencies is awesome in his willingness to share such personal information with his readers. Gotta love the man.

  64. 64.

    Ash Can

    @jl:

    “Pants”
    __
    Apparently not yet, he’s getting ready for an indecency rap.
    __
    Man, I knew Cole was…

    “Cole, we always knew you were crazy, but now we can see yer nuts.”

  66. 66.

    jayjaybear

    @Amir Khalid: Ha! Pictures? Not likely. I think there has been more photographic evidence of Cole’s existence since this road trip began than there has since the beginning of this blog.

    I’m kind of shocked to find that Cole is kind of hot. Of course, this is the opinion of a gay bear, so that shouldn’t be terribly shocking…

  67. 67.

    FlyingToaster

    @Walker:
    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    I don’t wish a drive on I-44 from St. Louis to Springfield on anyone. Or worse, on Mo 13 from Truman Reservoir down to Pomme de Terre, Osceola, and Bolivar. Which we had to do a lot since my brother went to camps down there and one sister was a public defender in Polk County.

    Driving over the Smokies from my uncles’ in Lafollette TN to my cousins’ in Asheville looked like civilization to me, after southern Misery. Even in the ’60s.

    YMMV.

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