Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

So many bastards, so little time.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

After roe, women are no longer free.

Republicans don’t trust women.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

You cannot shame the shameless.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

This blog will pay for itself.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2012 / Back at Murder Hotel

Back at Murder Hotel

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Made it back in one piece. This is sad to say, but we were both too tired to even stay out drinking. At one point tonight, I was stumbling around the arena and spotted Reggie Love, and demanded he pose for a picture:

Weird. I’m not sure what happened there. It looked fine on my phone when we took it. At any rate, I am the one in the blue on the right.

I loved seeing Flotus speak, and O’Malley and Strickland were really solid (Strickland had some serious barbs and one liners that will be all over the media, and O’Malley really got the crowd fired up), but for me the speech of the night was Deval Patrick. He brought down the house and was by leaps and bounds the best speaker on stage all night. Castro was good, but he needs about 8-12 more years of seasoning before he is ready for the big show.

But again, Patrick killed. I don’t know how it came across over tv/intertron, but in person he was amazing. The room was as electric as it was when FLOTUS came out.

We once again failed to actually sit down and eat all night, so I am now snacking on a fruit cup, a hot pocket, and about two gallons of water. See you all tomorrow.

Reader Interactions

78Comments

  1. 1.

    Ash Can

    Weird. I’m not sure what happened there. It looked fine on my phone when we took it.

    Looks hella fine to me too. What’s the prob?

  4. 4.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    I am the one in the blue on the right.

    Dude, what the hell were you wearing? That looks like a hospital johnny.

    And while I’m proud of the job my Governor Patrick did, Michelle Obama ruled this night in a genuinely regal fashion.

  7. 7.

    Steve

    James Fallows wrote: “the only thing more impressive than working ‘marathon’ into a number of speeches was the absolutely straight face all speakers kept when using that word.”

    I didn’t watch. Did anyone else catch that?

  8. 8.

    Violet

    Good for you for choosing the blue shirt. Looks good on you. Really brings out your hand in front of your eyes.

    On TV I thought Castro’s speech was good. He wasn’t as rabble rousing as Patrick’s, but he was confident and had a way of grabbing the audience with his story.

    O’Malley seemed goofy and the “Forward, Not Back” thing seemed silly and contrived on TV. May have played better in person.

  9. 9.

    dance around in your bones

    Colbert is destroying Reihan Salam tonight :)

    Hahaha smarmy mofo.

    ETA: All I see is a slice of blue shirt, no actual Cole.
    You prolly planned it that way, you tease.

  10. 10.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @Cris (without an H):

    Sure, it’s kinda cheesy, but one of my favorite political moments of the last few years was when Schweitzer took a bunch of bills from his Tea Party legislature and vetoed them…with a cattle prod. Guy’s a badass.

  12. 12.

    jl

    ” Weird. I’m not sure what happened there. It looked fine on my phone when we took it. At any rate, I am the one in the blue on the right. ”

    Yeah, weird, huh?

    I am cracking up. Looking forward to all the captions.

    “Here I am with Big Dawg (that’s my elbow)”
    “Here I am with FLOTUS (that’s my chin over there, kind of blurry)”

    I guess this is an ‘authorized’ pic?

    None of this stuff with Heather or ABL, they are nice looking.

    But seriously, very glad the BJ team is hanging in their until the events are over, and thanks for the reports.

  15. 15.

    patroclus

    I agree – Deval Patrick’s speech was just excellent. But it was a political speech, suffused with policy points and aimed at politics and policy wonks. But I think Michelle’s speech was better because it had a better arc and was far more human, with personal stories that related to politics but was far less overt. I think the Patrick speech worked to help fire up Dems – I think Michelle’s speech was aimed at the entire country.

  17. 17.

    Alison

    Basically everyone was awesome tonight in various ways. Michelle, Castro, Patrick, Lilly Ledbetter, Nancy Keenan, Tammy Duckworth…I was like, damn, it’s seriously an embarrassment of riches here, and it’s only the first night.

    Michael Ian Black on Twitter said Castro looks like a Latino Jimmy Fallon, and holy hell, is he right. :P

  19. 19.

    patroclus

    @Violet: Castro was VERY effective – especially the stuff about his Mom and his daughter. But the best moment of his was when he, after a long litany of Romney’s horrific policy positions, said on “health care”…(and the crowd filled in what was expected to be the line) but he simply paused (with a smile).

    And EVERYONE knew that he was referring to Romney’s multiple positions on the issue. It was just so well done – the group I was watching with all started laughing like crazy.

  20. 20.

    FlipYrWhig

    @dance around in your bones: Reihan Salaam was completely full of shit. Republicans were willing to work with Democrats until they realized that the stimulus bill was unpopular? He was bending time and space to confect that story out of saccharine and thin air.

  21. 21.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Alison: Duckworth has a great story, but that was not a good speech. She delivered it like one of the non-politicians who was more concerned about speaking all the words in just the right order rather than letting the audience react and respond.

  22. 22.

    YellowJournalism

    I want an “I want to be like Michelle Obama when I grow up” t-shirt. Obama campaign, make this happen!

    I also want to give a little love to Kal Penn for a fun speech with a possible BJ shout out.

  25. 25.

    ? Martin

    @Steve: Yes. It was subliminally done. Here’s the reference in FLOTUSs speech:

    And I’ve seen it in our men and women in uniform and our proud military families…in wounded warriors who tell me they’re not just going to walk again, they’re going to run, and they’re going to run marathons…in the young man blinded by a bomb in Afghanistan who said, simply, “…I’d give my eyes 100 times again to have the chance to do what I have done and what I can still do.

    Here it is in Castro’s speech:

    In the end, the American dream is not a sprint, or even a marathon, but a relay. Our families don’t always cross the finish line in the span of one generation. But each generation passes on to the next the fruits of their labor. My grandmother never owned a house. She cleaned other people’s houses so she could afford to rent her own. But she saw her daughter become the first in her family to graduate from college. And my mother fought hard for civil rights so that instead of a mop, I could hold this microphone.

    I think it showed up a few other times like that.

  28. 28.

    asiangrrlMN

    Lilly Ledbetter was awesome. Mayor Castro was solid and finished strong. But, in my mind, Governor Patrick (who is my newest political crush) really knocked it out of the park with his speech. And the FLOTUS? She brought down the house and ended the night with a bang.

    Personally, I loved seeing Tammy Duckworth up there. I love that diversity is not just tokenism in our party. There was such joy and passion at the convention. It was great to watch.

    Cole, you suck. It’s a good thing you’re so damn funny.

  30. 30.

    Mary G

    New shirt looks good. I agree with Deval Patrick – I’ve seen him interviewed or on panels and just felt ‘meh,’ but after he finished speaking I was hollering “FIRED UP! READY TO GO!
    at the teevee.

  33. 33.

    dance around in your bones

    @FlipYrWhig:

    Reihan Salaam was completely full of shit. Republicans were willing to work with Democrats until they realized that the stimulus bill was unpopular? He was bending time and space to confect that story out of saccharine and thin air.

    Jeez, no shit. Reihan must live in Bizarro World to come up with THAT twisted view. What a useless bag of water.

  34. 34.

    Steve

    When I was in law school I saw a speech by Hillary Clinton. No one had any idea who she was – she was just the spouse of one of the many Dem primary candidates that no one really knew anything about, so needless to say, expectations were low. And then she positively blew the doors off. It redefined anything anyone had expected to hear from a “political wife.” I believe after that she may have gone on to do a thing or two in her own right.

    And now we have Michelle Obama, who is so outstanding in every way that if I said I thought her speechmaking abilities were in the same class as Hillary Clinton, a dozen of you would instantly demand I take back the insult. Really something.

  35. 35.

    Violet

    Cole, was this you:

    Ben Smith ‏@BuzzFeedBen
    __
    Overheard from a beefy guy in the upper deck: “eyes watering”

  36. 36.

    slag

    @patroclus:

    But I think Michelle’s speech was better because it had a better arc and was far more human, with personal stories that related to politics but was far less overt. I think the Patrick speech worked to help fire up Dems – I think Michelle’s speech was aimed at the entire country.

    Agreed. Her life story melded with her political outlook seamlessly. It wasn’t just persuasive; it was moving.

  37. 37.

    Alison

    @FlipYrWhig: Well, I’m not going to fault someone for not being a great orator. It’s not an easy thing to do, especially on such a huge stage and on TV and all that. I care far less about style than substance – and she has a lot of substance. Not everyone can be Deval Patrick.

  38. 38.

    Steeplejack

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Actually, Stewart and Brokaw were pretty good. “Both sides do it” kept to a minimum, and Stewart (sort of halfheartedly) prodded Brokaw and held his feet to the fire. Not too bad.

    As someone mentioned upthread, Colbert mauled Reihan Salam. Also, that’s the first time I have ever heard a Colbert audience spontaneously boo a guest without Colbert’s prompting. Salam’s bullshit was that bad.

  42. 42.

    piratedan

    kudos to Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, good lineup of speakers, very few stumbles (if any) and boy did these guys differentiate themselves from the Republicans… shame that the media won’t see it, but I think anyone that was on the fence and objectively watching will.

  44. 44.

    Ronc99

    Deval was really good. But the BEST speech of the night, was by far, FLOTUS’ — she made every American take a look at their own lives. Do we want our better angels to prevail or do we just want to be slaves to the greedy? She is an amazing woman. I love her and her husband. They are as REAL as it gets. Nothing political about those two. Our job is to now deliver them FOR America! Yes We Can!!!

  46. 46.

    max

    “Here I am with Big Dawg (that’s my elbow)”
    “Here I am with FLOTUS (that’s my chin over there, kind of blurry)”

    Who needs captions – this is story (told in pictures) of Cole’s hand’s trip to the DNC. The rest of Cole is where ever his pants are. (I have to assume the hand speaks…er, signs sign language and reads braille, otherwise it would be having problems.)

    There’s a viral video in this somewhere, especially if we can work the pants and the cat (but not Cole) into it.

    max
    [‘Photograph the hand!’]

  47. 47.

    mdblanche

    @Violet: All I could think of when I heard that was “Forwards, not backwards! Upwards, not forwards, and always twirling, twirling toward freedom!”

    @Steeplejack: The Brokaw interview was good but the first two segments were pushing the disappointed Democrats crap so hard, I almost didn’t stick around to the end.

  48. 48.

    Seanly

    Speeches in order of awesome sauceness:
    Michelle Obama
    Deval Patrick
    Lily Ledbetter
    Castro
    Lihn
    lady who introduced FLOTUS
    O’Malley

    I cried at a few points in Michelle’s speech. I didn’t know her dad had MS. That someone with that terrible disease got up everyday and went to work to provide for his family broke me up. A grandfather and an uncle had shortened lives due to that dreadful fucking awful disease. I feel for Anne Romney that she suffers from it, but Michelle’s story buried hers without even trying.

  49. 49.

    Arclite

    Fcking COle. Still doing everything in your power to avoid showing us your mug. Dick.

    Glad you’re having a fun time down at the DNC. Thanks for all the posts.

  50. 50.

    Arclite

    ALso too: Cole, have you been blown yet? I’m sure you just need to say, “I’m John Cole from Balloon Juice” and you’ll have some grateful girl or guy with your cock half way down his or her throat.

    Arclite +3

  51. 51.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn

    If the Dems can keep up the intensity of tonight’s carpet bombing of the GOP messaging (and with such upcoming names as E. Warren, Biden, The Big Dawg, and the one skinny guy with the hard-to-remember name of whom I hear can deliver quite the oratorical roundhouse), not only will I likely need a hosing down at the end, but Mitt’s future political career will likely be left resembling Gus Fring’s final moment on Breaking Bad.

  52. 52.

    Kathleen

    I briefly watched coverage on PBS, where David Brooks repeatedly pursed his lips in horror and complained that all the speakers were “partisan”. The revered “Independents”, after all, only wanted to hear about jobs and economic growth. Here’s a clue, Bobo – you are attending the “Democratic” national convention. The attendees and speakers tend to be “Democrats”, hence, “partisan”. He is a squishy, soulless gouhl.

  54. 54.

    hep kitty

    @Kathleen: See Cole’s tweet to Andrew Sullivan who was doing the same thing.

    Where was all the clucking when the RNC was trashing and disrespecting our President, comparing him to the guy in the bar you throw out on his ass and an empty chair? I’m sure I could come up with some more.

    And oh yeh, I do believe the economy was mentioned quite a few times.

  55. 55.

    hep kitty

    It’s too bad the girl with the sick child covered under Obamacare didn’t pause for applause, I know she was nervous as heck but it would have been great to have heard everything she said, it was quite touching. But apparently she thought she had to rush through it.

  56. 56.

    hep kitty

    Oh good, here’s part of a repeat on CSPAN, I missed latter part and FLOTUS, will be coming up in 30 mins. Here’s Castro.

  57. 57.

    hep kitty

    @Ronc99: Her speeches get me way more than POTUS. POTUS still puts me to sleep, honestly, I’m sorry. Michelle just makes me all emotional and weepy. And she can fire up the crowd.

    In fairness, POTUS has to craft speeches that can be understood by a 4th grader, so there’s that.

    Oh dear, better stop commenting to self while everybody else is sleeping. Night owls, the lot of you.

  59. 59.

    hep kitty

    Oh, just one more thing, got to #AreYouBetterOff if you want to let the republicans know whether or not you are better off than 4 yrs ago. Of course, I put in my 2 cents. I am WAAAAY better off. Most the comments I saw said the same thing. bahahaha! Backfired. HEH.

  60. 60.

    hep kitty

    Not trying to be an ass, but why does everybody have to be a mom to get a little respect? What am I, chopped liver? It does NOT help at all with my mid-life crisis. I guess I take it personally, you’re kind of a waste of air if you don’t reproduce. You are less than nothing. It’s really kind of alienating but of course, that’s just the way things are.

    Of course, it’s gotten to the point where if you don’t reproduce you will be punished. I’m surprised republicans haven’t set me out on an ice floe yet.

  61. 61.

    hep kitty

    I don’t think Mitt ever rode in a car with a giant hole in the floor or rummaged to a dumpster for a coffee table!

    Oh boy, Michelle is knocking down all that “my father was a coal miner” or “my GRANDfather lived a hardscrabble life, blah, blah, blah” horseshit.

    Obama actually lived it himself. Can’t top that one, I don’t think.

    Oh and my grandfather got his PhD in 1922 and I’m a loser, so we’re not all the same and we’re are not all one generation away from a fucking coal mine or whatever just b/c we’re not RICH. Don’t insult my intelligence, bastard republicans.

  62. 62.

    hep kitty

    Oh god, what the fuck with this republican caller, DNC convention is “too much”, saying we need to get Sasha and Malia up there and talk about their lives and whether they miss their friends in Chicago?? WTF, honestly.

    Good lord, dunno if I can listen to this bullshit this early in the morning. The whining. Can we please have Dems only callers the first hour? Can we not have our feel good moment this morning for the love of God without it being spoiled by listening to republican whining and racist attacks? thanks CSPAN.

  65. 65.

    mai naem

    Saw at tweet from somebody yesterday about how the Dems never luck out with names – Hussein in 08 and Castro this year.

  66. 66.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @hep kitty:

    Andrew Sullivan who was doing the same thing.

    Yeah they hate it when Democrats fight back.

    They might tut tut a little when a fire breathing right wing Republican goes really over the top with criticism of Democrats, but if a Democrat doesn’t just roll over and take it but gives a little of the same, they really have fainting spells.

    Listening to people like this is part of what kept Democrats weak. No one should ever do it.

  67. 67.

    Southern Beale

    On TV, Deval Patrick, Julian Castro and FLOTUS were outstanding. They killed it. They fired us up. They weren’t mean and snide, a la the Wasilla Snowbilly in 2008. But they were solid and honest and told it like it is.

    O’Mally came off less well on TV. My Twitter feed was full of “OMG he sucked” comments.

  68. 68.

    Nina

    Upward mobility is a great thing, but the true test of a great society is whether the idiot children of the elite stay in the elite. If the upper class consists of a few token geniuses and a whole bunch of inbred idiots, you need to demolish that upper class. The geniuses will find their feet.

  69. 69.

    WaterGirl

    @Arclite: I gotta say, there are some things that probably sound okay when you are still up in the middle of the night that are just not good to read when you’ve just woken up and it’s not even 8am yet.

  73. 73.

    Hawes

    @Southern Beale: I couldn’t watch O’Malley – and I’ve thought he was a comer for a while now. Something about his voice. Lily Ledbetter eats iron and shits nails. And I tried to be rapt during FLOTUS’s speech but, um… something kept getting in my eyes.

    Incumbent presidents almost never lose, absent a third party candidate. Part of that is that the incumbent can paint a picture of accomplishment and vision whereas the out party has to tear down the president. And people don’t necessarily want their president torn down.

  75. 75.

    bootsy

    @Hawes: Ah, to my trained ears O’Malley has a noticeable Baltimore accent but not an intense (or unintelligible) one; however, it might be a bit much to those unfamiliar.

    Patrick would’ve been the best except for FLOTUS making a speech for the ages.

  76. 76.

    The Other Chuck

    The content of O’Malley’s speech wasn’t terrible, but good god the tone and body language just oozed slick insincerity. Reminded me of nothing so much as Bobby Jindal’s SOTU response.

  77. 77.

    WaterGirl

    @The Other Chuck: great description of O’Malley’s speech. Everyone seemed to think he would blow us all away, but I just cringed through the whole thing. Tone: bad. Body language: bad. Slick and insincere: yep. Seemed like a bad actor giving a performance on a professional stage. The call and response was SO cheesy.

    Having said all that, I still don’t think he was as bad as Bobby Jindal. I think there’s still time for O’Malley to recover from this and not be laugh-worthy. I bet he feels like crap today, and I do feel bad about that because he seems like one of the good guys.

  78. 78.

    LanceThruster

    @WaterGirl:

    It was the first speaker I saw once I got home. Though I thought the call and response stumbled on occassion, overall, I really enjoyed the attack dog quality of it. It was a good warm up (for me at least) to see Duval Patrick.

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