Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

People are weird.

“Perhaps I should have considered other options.” (head-desk)

“A king is only a king if we bow down.” – Rev. William Barber

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

Also, are you sure you want people to rate your comments?

Not rolling over. fuck you, make me.

You cannot shame the shameless.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

The snowflake in chief appeared visibly frustrated when questioned by a reporter about egg prices.

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Fear or fury? The choice is ours.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

You are here: Home / Elections / Election 2012 / Bust another bottle, yeah

Bust another bottle, yeah

by | 170 Comments

This post is in: 

I have nothing against Mormons in particular, but I don’t trust teetotalers lifelong teetotalers without a medical reason to avoid alcohol as a group. And if the media’s going to hold a “beer primary”, we sure as hell may as well win it.

President Barack Obama likes sports. He likes beer. He likes sports bars. And he wants to make sure voters see that on the campaign trail.

And, by way of contrast, he’d also like to remind the electorate about who doesn’t seem to enjoy bars, or sports, or sports bars. Hint: It’s the other candidate running for president, the guy who happens to be a teetotaler and who refers to “sport” as though he were doing an impression of Mr. Burns or an English Olympics official.

Anyway, you know who else didn’t drink?

Reader Interactions

170Comments

  3. 3.

    ShadeTail

    I drink. But I limit myself to water and juice. Alcohol makes me gag. I just can’t stand that shit.

  5. 5.

    Hypatia's Momma

    Yeah! What the fuck is up with these people who give up a disastrous and destructive addiction, anyway? All talkin’ ’bout “honesty” and “ethics” and “amends” and shit. Can’t trust ’em!

  8. 8.

    MikeJ

    “I can’t trust a man who doesn’t drink, because a man who doesn’t drink doesn’t trust himself.” Papa Hemmingway

  9. 9.

    Comrade Jake

    I’ve been waiting for someone here to bring this up. “Who would you rather have a beer with?” doesn’t quite cut it for Romney. He’s closer to “Who would you rather raid a pension plan with?”

  10. 10.

    Hal

    You see some men hunt for sport,
    Others hunt for food.
    The only thing I’m hunting for
    Is an outfit that looks good.
    See my vest, see my vest,
    Made from real gorilla chest.
    Feel this sweater, there’s no better
    Than authentic Irish Setter.
    See this hat, ’twas my cat.
    My evening wear, vampire bat.
    These white slippers are albino
    African endangered rhino.
    Grizzly bear underwear,
    Turtle necks I’ve got my share.
    Beret of poodle on my noodle it shall rest
    Try my red robin suit,
    It comes one breast or two…
    See my vest, See my vest.
    Like my loafers, former gophers,
    It was that or skin my chauffeurs,

  11. 11.

    RedKitten

    The whole “beer primary” thing is ridiculous, no matter which side is doing it.

    But if it’s going to happen ANYWAY, I’m glad that our side is coming out ahead. And beer or no, Obama does come across as much more relatable than Romney. And speaking of Mr. Burns, the picture of Obama being hugged by that business owner reminded me of this:

    Smithers: I’m so happy I could hug you.
    Mr. Burns: And have me smell like cheap drug store cologne the rest of the day? You may hug my shadow.

  12. 12.

    Spaghetti Lee

    I can’t stand the taste or smell of most potables. I’ve never really understood how it’s like ambrosia for some people-I can barely choke most alcoholic drinks down, even the weakest of beers.

  14. 14.

    Brachiator

    Maybe very OT, but there is no open thread and I am going to be on the road shortly

    Some sobering stuff on the persistance of sexism in various social communities

    The Great Geek Sexism Debate
    __
    Over the past few months, three of the most influential conventions in geekdom — Readercon (for science fiction writers), The Amazing Meeting (for skeptics), and DefCon (for hackers) — have been at the center of very public discussions about sexism and sexual harassment in their communities. After all three conventions in 2012, women spoke out publicly about episodes of sexual harassment and humiliation they experienced at the cons. The fallout was ugly — but also awesome. Here’s what happened, and what’s still happening, as formerly male-dominated geek spaces make way for women.

    Thought it might be of interest given some recent threads

  18. 18.

    Steve

    Obviously it’s nothing new for Obama to go around having beers with everyone to make himself look like Everyman. But I find it really Villagey when the cynics keep implying he has some sneaky agenda to remind people that Romney doesn’t drink, like it’s some kind of grog whistle. I doubt that has anything to do with it.

  20. 20.

    Ron Beasley

    There are many Mormons who are closet drinkers – I know several of them. My grandfather was a lifelong member of a TT church and he always had a bottle stashed in the Barn.

  21. 21.

    taylormattd

    @maya: I was gonna say. I seem to recall lefty blogger types constantly attempting to prove that allegedly-dry George Bush was secretly having glasses of wine or beer.

  24. 24.

    22over7

    We’re not supposed to talk about this. It’s rude. We’re also not supposed to talk about Romney’s religion (especially the part where his grandpa was a country-fleeing polygamist), his job, his political career, his draft-dodging Paris vacay, his tax returns, his bank accounts, or any of his positions on anything whatsoever.

    So rude.

  25. 25.

    edmund dantes

    Don’t worry. Apparently the Obama hugging business man is getting hammered on his Yelp page. Lots of downvotes and people hating him for doing it. Kind of sad.

  28. 28.

    Amir Khalid

    I don’t drink because, like Mitt, I’m not allowed by my religion. Many Asians are actually allergic to ethanol and can’t drink either. Does that make us untrustworthy people too?

  29. 29.

    LanceThruster

    Maybe it’s for the best as far as the Romney-bot goes.

    Imagine how more more ugly it would have gotten if Mittens had been in his cups when he assaulted that classmate to forecebly shear him.

  30. 30.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    President Barack Obama likes sports. He likes beer. He likes sports bars.

    __
    Well after all, he should get a kick out of visiting places that require you to show a valid photoID (i.e. proving when you were born) to get in the front door. I bet he likes visting hospitals and kissing babies too. Anything to piss off the birthers.

  31. 31.

    Hypatia's Momma

    @taylormattd:
    It means “one who abstains totally from all alcoholic beverages”. That’s it. Why one might abstain and for how long isn’t part of the definition.

  32. 32.

    David in NY

    I keep trying to bring this important, little-known fact to the attention of the press, or somebody.

    So, listen up:

    This is the very first presidential election in which the paternal grandfather of both (or even just one of the) candidates was a polygamist.

    You could look it up.

  34. 34.

    Turgidson

    @RedKitten:

    The whole “beer primary” thing is ridiculous, no matter which side is doing it.

    But if it’s going to happen ANYWAY, I’m glad that our side is coming out ahead.

    Agreed. It would be great if the guy who had the best ideas won, no matter their “have a beer with” score, as long as they’re a reasonable human being.

    But, this silly stuff does matter at least a little bit, so we might as well try to win it. Obama’s lucky in the sense that his first opponent was a cranky old coot and his second one is a robot (I know a number of Mormons who, despite not drinking, are perfectly comfortable in “have a beer with” settings otherwise, so I don’t think Romney’s shortcomings in this category are strictly due to his religion. Robot.)

  36. 36.

    Ben Franklin

    I didn’t see Carrie Nation. She has the credit for the Italian and Irish Mafia. Prohibition profits funded their ‘legit’ business fronts like Vegas.

  38. 38.

    LanceThruster

    @Amir Khalid:

    There are many reasons to choose to do/or not do so. I only have a problem with it if it’s in the holier than thou category.

    Lisa: You don’t eat cheese, Apu?
    Apu: No, I don’t eat any food that comes from an animal.
    Lisa: Ohh, then you must think I’m a monster!
    Apu: Yes, indeed I do think that. But, I learned long ago, Lisa, to tolerate others rather than forcing my beliefs on them. You know you can influence people without badgering them always. It’s like Paul’s song, Live and Let Live.
    Paul McCartney: Actually, it was Live and Let Die.
    Apu: Whatever, whatever. It had a good rhythm.

  42. 42.

    Pen

    @Amir Khalid: your religion forbids it and their health prevents it (though considering the booming state of the Chinese brewing industry I’d have to see proof of that 2nd statement to believe it).

    As a guy who comes from an entire family or “recovering alcoholics” I’m going to repeat Hemmingway’s quote, because it’s been my opinion since I was a young teenager.

    “I can’t trust a man who doesn’t drink, because a man who doesn’t drink doesn’t trust himself.” Papa Hemmingway

    The whole obsession with “who we’d like to have a beer with” is stupid, but I’m pretty sure that sentiment sums up a major part of the rational behind it. If a person can’t trust themselves to drink responsibly why on earth would anyone else trust them?

  43. 43.

    Comrade Jake

    @edmund dantes:

    You have to be some kind of royal prick to think to go and downgrade somebody’s Yelp page because they hugged the POTUS.

    I think these people are called Republicans.

  44. 44.

    John O

    I’ve been noodling over this very point a lot lately, and have concluded that much of America doesn’t trust a complete teetotaler, either. You know, wtf and all. People know on some level Romney thinks he’s superior to them because of it, just like he thinks he’s superior across the board because he’s handsome, rich, born on third, and pious.

    And it’s all central to Romney’s inability to win over anyone with any depth.

  45. 45.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    To be fair to the Republicans, I’m sure that Rep. Paul ain’t-no-mountain-high-enough Ryan can lead the crowd in a marathon sing-along of 329 bottles of beer on the wall.

  49. 49.

    TenguPhule

    I seem to recall lefty blogger types constantly attempting to prove that allegedly-dry George Bush was secretly having glasses of wine or beer.

    Considering that the alternative was he was deliberately fucking shit up with a sober and sound mind, can you blame them?

  50. 50.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @Comrade Jake:

    I wonder if this is part of the reason I don’t trust the “free market” as a panacea for all ills: because, in reality, it’s composed of pissy dickheads who will try to tank your business for liking a politician they don’t like. It’s a very visible hand, and it’s been known to flip people the bird if they step out of line.

  51. 51.

    Linda Featheringill

    @Amir Khalid: #28

    You can lead a full and happy life without alcohol.

    Whether you can lead such a happy life without some sort of comfort food/drink could be argued. I have my doubts.

    On the other hand, it is forbidden in all religions to allow DougJ influence your image of yourself. [I’m only half kidding about this.]

    Also: Hi. Howya doing?

  54. 54.

    karl

    I’m a lifelong teetotaler. You, dougj, can eat rice cakes and die. Craphound.

    Wouldn’t anyone who says “I don’t trust vegetarians (or meateaters, or people who don’t eat mushrooms)” sound like an idiot? Dougj, you are vermin and I will see you in Hell!

    Also, keep fighting the good fight for Obama, you slimemold.

  55. 55.

    Turgidson

    @John O:

    And it’s all central to Romney’s inability to win over anyone with any depth.

    Well, he can win over people whose piles of money have depth.

  57. 57.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @Linda Featheringill:

    Whether you can lead such a happy life without some sort of comfort food/drink could be argued. I have my doubts.

    Seems logical. Maybe I’d be better off I was addicted to booze instead of buttery pasta dishes. The booze would get me out of the house more, at least.

  58. 58.

    Patricia Kayden

    @ShadeTail: I don’t drink either so I could care less if Romneybot 2.0 abstains from drinking. I don’t get the whole “who do you want to have a beer with” meme.

  60. 60.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    @taylormattd:

    I was gonna say. I seem to recall lefty blogger types constantly attempting to prove that allegedly-dry George Bush was secretly having glasses of wine or beer.

    I recall GW Bush admitting to being an alcoholic and then admitting to drinking near beer at a G-7 conference were he was looking rather pickled.

  61. 61.

    Pen

    @Hypatia’s Momma: Don’t get me wrong, I love most of my family. But trust them? When it comes to money or keeping their word I trust. My wife, my brother, two of my cousins, and my parents. Everyone else… They’ve proven that given enough temptation they’re all incapable of making the right choices. Half of them are recovering and the other half are still drunks/druggies. Ironically enough it’s the drunks I trust more, because for the most part they up and admit they have a problem and don’t try to force me to change my behavior to “remove temptation” when they come to my cooking. Something about liberally using wort, beer, and wine in cooking just sets them off. I can’t figs out why ;-)

  62. 62.

    RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist

    Weak argument, DougJ. I don’t drink because I like having a clear head 24 X 7. I don’t give a damn what other people do, though. And my hobbies, which I don’t impose on other people do not include sports.
    There are plenty of angles to attack Mitt from without tarring non-imbibers and those who are uninterested in sports in the process.

  63. 63.

    srv

    In Slovakia last week, the mountain chatas all had very anti-vegetarian graffiti. As in a hangman game for vegitarian.

    Another had a t-shirt with a vulture eating a veggie.

  64. 64.

    ? Martin

    @Amir Khalid: Certainly not.

    But the US – particularly the red meat right – have a culture of drinking. It’s the whole act from your gut, be a regular guy bullshit. Up until this election cycle, every race invoked the “Who would you rather have a beer with?” electoral question. In 2008 it started to fall apart, because suddenly they realized that Obama might be that kind of guy. To the degree that Hillary did a shot as a photo op, which I think was both a first and simultaneously something of a low point for her campaign – it felt desperate. When Obama started brewing his own beer in the WH, well… we couldn’t be asking that question again, could we? How could the usurper be a regular guy?

    To roll into 2012 and have the political establishment ducking the whole question at every turn, not only because Obama is actually the guy the GOP was so proud to support in 2000 and 2004, but also because Mitt is so blatantly NOT that guy, is a bit surreal – and also shows how shitty and superficial US elections are.

  66. 66.

    mechwarrior oline

    @Linda Featheringill:

    I think it more has to do with unwinding. Most people unwind from a hard days work with a smoke, drink, bong hit, ice cream… something. Some guilty pleasure that isn’t all that good for you, but fuck it, it feels good.

    When someone pushes out that they don’t have that sort of vice I get the nagging feeling that either their life is so pie in the sky great that they have no need for it, or they’re one of those holier than thou types (like fundamental evangelicals or vegans) who’s vice is being a smarmy asshole to other people.

    Put it this way, your asshole boss is the person who won’t get sloshed at happy hour, and that fits Romney perfectly. He also seems like the sort of person that would feed you vegan manacotti and insist it tastes the same or as good. Either of those situations is asking for an ass kicking.

  67. 67.

    Maude

    @khead:
    Wait for a few threads later. I’ll get good and offensive.
    My lanlord was an engineer. He has done repairs in this apt and he is almost psychic at figuring out how to repair something.

  68. 68.

    maya

    @taylormattd:

    I was gonna say. I seem to recall lefty blogger types constantly attempting to prove that allegedly-dry George Bush was secretly having glasses of wine or beer.

    Lefty bloggers ,shmefty groggers. The charge that he had been drinking before the pretzel incident came from a former British foreign secretary, Lord Owen:

    “Bush claims he has drunk no alcohol since 1987 but there have been rumors in the press to the contrary. On 13 January 2002 he lost consciousness while sitting on a couch in the White House watching a football game. His head hit the floor, resulting in an abrasion on his left cheekbone. The incident was blamed on a combination of not feeling well in previous days and an improperly eaten pretzel. I was contacted by a British doctor who had visited Johns Hopkins University and in talking to a group of young doctors was told that, following this incident, though the President had been admitted to Walter Reed Hospital, a blood sample of his had been sent to Johns Hopkins which showed a blood alcohol level in the range of 200 mg.”

    Don’t believe Lord Owen even has a blog.

  69. 69.

    RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist

    OTOH, DougJ is a known self-troll. Are you just poking us with a stick, DougJ?

  71. 71.

    Roger Moore

    @Richard:

    Mitt’s the kind of guy you want to watch dressage with.

    He’s also the kind of guy you’d want to share ownership of a NASCAR team with. But not the kind of guy you’d want to buy a dressage horse from, apparently.

  73. 73.

    RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist

    @Maude:

    My lanlord was an engineer. He has done repairs in this apt and he is almost psychic at figuring out how to repair something.

    Engineers can be really interesting. Today a colorfully eccentric Serbian drove in from Toronto to start our Level One Laser Training. School would have been so much more entertaining if all classes were 2 people and were taught by chain smoking, espresso guzzling fanatics with wild hair and hilarious stories. This is gonna be a great week.

  74. 74.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    Here’s a little factoid – if you are of European descent the only reason you are here is because of beer drinking. Up until the late 19th Century drinking the water in a European city was a form of slow suicide. Basically, if you a honky, the result of almost a 1,000 years of bad sanitation is you almost have to have a drink every now then.

  76. 76.

    RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist

    @Enhanced Voting Techniques:

    Beer was probably the first agricultural product, even before bread. Beer consumption in historical times was staggering per person/day quantities. It was nutritious and safe.

  78. 78.

    Spaghetti Lee

    So I’m guessing that DougJ’s most hated person would be a young, wealthy, contrarian political journalist who minored in engineering, doesn’t drink, and roots for the Jets. Anyone know where we can find someone like that?

  79. 79.

    Jacel

    Someone else who didn’t drink? Bill Clinton. After growing up in an alcoholic family, he stayed away from it. Somehow, he never acted self-righteous towards anyone else about the subject, so I suspect people tend to forget this about him.

  81. 81.

    Jim Faith

    I didn’t see Carrie Nation. She has the credit for the Italian and Irish Mafia. Prohibition profits funded their ‘legit’ business fronts like Vegas

    She was also funded by John C. Rockefeller who wanted to make sure ethanol wasn’t developed as a fuel for those newfangled automobiles.

  82. 82.

    maya

    @Enhanced Voting Techniques:

    I recall GW Bush admitting to being an alcoholic and then admitting to drinking near beer at a G-7 conference were he was looking rather pickled.

    This is what he was drinking. It’s called a Pisco Sour and it is liquor. APEC Lima Peru, Novemember, 23, 2008

  84. 84.

    dance around in your bones

    This, of course is anecdotal, but the one Mormon family that I knew well was all into the no caffeine/tobacco/alcohol – BUT heavily into the RX drugs, particularly of the speedy kind, the sleepy kind, and the anti-depressant kind.

    Their teenage son told me this was true of most of the families he knew in Salt Lake.

    Just sayin’.

    I guess Joe Smith didn’t think ahead.

  85. 85.

    John O

    @Patricia Kayden:

    The decision on who to vote for is not entirely a rational one. You’re electing someone you’re going to be “married” to for 4 years, or maybe 8, to one degree or another, so it’s a very complicated algorithm.

  87. 87.

    Comrade Jake

    If you actually read the Yelp page for Duzer’s business, lots more positive comments there than negative. It’s only when the comments are sorted (which the Huffpo link brings you to) that you see all the negativity.

  88. 88.

    Ben Franklin

    @John O:

    You’re electing someone you’re going to be “married” to for 4 years, or maybe 8, to one degree or another, so it’s a very complicated algorithm.

    I’ve never thought of matrimony as a metaphor for politics. Whaa? What am I saying?

  89. 89.

    Roger Moore

    @RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist:

    Beer was probably the first agricultural product, even before bread.

    Before bread, perhaps, but probably not before porridge. People started eating wild grain, probably in the form of porridge, before they developed agriculture. The current theory is that there were large areas where wild grains grew in abundance, hunter-gatherers figured out how to harvest them, and that agriculture started when those hunter-gatherers figured out that the grain would grow back better next year if they planted some of the grain deliberately. FWIW, the same general theory suggests that beer originated as porridge that was accidentally allowed to spoil with interesting results.

  92. 92.

    raven

    I haven’t had a drink, a bumb or a spliff in 20 years. I’m the same cheery motherfucker I always was and I don’t trust drunks.

  94. 94.

    pk

    but I don’t trust teetotalers lifelong teetotalers without a medical reason to avoid alcohol as a group.

    This is just silly. I don’t drink. Tried it a few times and hated the taste. Hate sports and wouldn’t be seen dead in a bar. These type of generalizations are utterly meaningless. And I would not trust anyone who seriously believes this. Stop being a republican!

  97. 97.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    @pk: I don’t drink. Tried it a few times and hated the taste. Hate sports and wouldn’t be seen dead in a bar. These type of generalizations are utterly meaningless.

    Ditto.

  98. 98.

    The Dangerman

    OT, but is there anybody harder to listen to while watching a football game than Jon Gruden? Cmon, (former) Coach. I’d rather listen to Mitt Romney calling the game.

  99. 99.

    Narcissus

    “I don’t enjoy things. I’m too good to enjoy things. This is why I should control your uterus.”

  100. 100.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @? Martin:

    To roll into 2012 and have the political establishment ducking the whole question at every turn, not only because Obama is actually the guy the GOP was so proud to support in 2000 and 2004, but also because Mitt is so blatantly NOT that guy, is a bit surreal – and also shows how shitty and superficial US elections are

    It also speaks to the vapidness of our media elite that they go along with this in precise parallel to the Rethuglican narrative.

    Frankly, would have rather had a beer with Al Gore or John Kerry, guys I could swap overseas drinking stories with over a beer, rather than the deserting sack of shit they ran against.

  101. 101.

    Ben Franklin

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Frankly, would have rather had a beer with Al Gore or John Kerry, guys I could swap overseas drinking stories with over a beer, rather than the deserting sack of shit they ran against    .

    This, to the 10th power.

  103. 103.

    Comrade Jake

    OT, but I really wish wingnuts would be required to disclose the fact that they’re wingnuts before they got to pen an op-ed like this:

    President Obama is touting his foreign policy experience on the campaign trail, but startling new statistics suggest that national security has not necessarily been the personal priority the president makes it out to be. It turns out that more than half the time, the commander in chief does not attend his daily intelligence meeting.

    STARTLING!!!

  104. 104.

    Or something like that.Suffern Ace

    @? Martin: Ok. My memory of elections goes back only to 1980. But didn’t the whole “beer” question start with Clinton vs. Bush 1?

  106. 106.

    RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist

    Regarding drunks, it has been my experience over the decades that almost everyone is more interesting sober, and the rest have personality disorders. I have enough data to state this with over 99% confidence.

  108. 108.

    Jibeaux

    Point one, I love “grog whistle.” point two, I think pizza joint Obama guy’s place would be an excellent spot for Drinking Liberally or a Democrats meetup or an OFA planning group… Two can play the Chick-fil-A Patriot game.

  109. 109.

    quannlace

    President Barack Obama likes sports. He likes beer. He likes sports bars.

    And burley Republicans like giving him bear hugs. Booya!
    ******
    On the subject of this thread. A tad leery around people who make too big a deal about ‘their body is a temple!’

  111. 111.

    Violet

    @j: I wonder if Yelp can halt comments on his restaurant for a week or two to keep that kind of thing from happening. It’s just horrible that people are trying to ruin his business over his political beliefs.

  112. 112.

    ericblair

    Yeah, this whole beer summit thing is pretty mindless, and it’s confounding abstaining with being a sanctimonious prick. We already know that Rmoney is a sanctimonious prick, so of course he’ll be a sanctimonious prick about not drinking.

    What the Obama Beer Tour does is defuse a bunch of idiot Village “who would you have a beer with” crap. Also, just imagine if Obama didn’t drink.

  113. 113.

    Ben Franklin

    @RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist:

    Regarding drunks, it has been my experience over the decades that almost everyone is more interesting sober

    Drunks…subjective. I find people are more interesting when those little defense mechanisms are short-circuited. It’s a fine line between ‘tipsy’ and drunk.

  116. 116.

    demz taters

    There’s a sort of self-righteous suspicion of drink that goes with a suspicion of all kinds of sensuality and coarse and vulgar behavior – it’s all of a piece with Romney’s support for a crackdown on Internet porn. It’s a kind of cultural marker that has nothing to do with people who abstain from drink for their own various and personal reasons. And it’s a cultural marker of “otherization” that Americans on the whole distrust, with prohibition making it a particularly ugly scar. Breaking out the home brew is such a brilliant exploitation of that I could almost believe in eleventy-dimensional chess. Then again that could also be the +3 talking :)

  118. 118.

    raven

    @quannlace: I come out of a totally alcohol based social life in the midwest and have spent 27 years in a “drinking town with a football problem”in the south. I’ve buried more than a few friends who kept at it no matter what On the other hand many of us put on the brakes and have been serious about fitness (we were always ballers”) are hanging pretty well in our 60’s. No preaching, no bullshit we just made a choice. The dead one’s didn’t or couldn’t.

  119. 119.

    Violet

    Coattails, not cocktails:

    Democrat Elizabeth Warren is closing the gap with Republican Sen. Scott Brown, according to a new poll from a Republican firm.
    __
    Brown leads Warren 46 percent to 45 percent in a poll by GOP-aligned Kimball Political Consulting. The survey of 756 likely voters was conducted Sep. 7-9, and has a 3.5 percent margin of error. In the previous Kimball poll from three weeks ago, Brown led 49 percent to 43 percent.

  121. 121.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn

    “It was a woman that drove me to drink, and I never did have the courtesy to thank her.”

    W.C. Fields

  123. 123.

    kdaug

    @quannlace:

    On the subject of this thread. A tad leery around people who make too big a deal about ‘their body is a temple!’

    Reckon the worms appreciate it.

    ETA: Or perhaps not – maybe alcohol-infused rotting flesh is like a Marula tree, and all the worms get together and have a party. Dunno.

  126. 126.

    Chris

    Yeah, me. I don’t like the taste of most alcohol. I’m a sleepy drunk, so no memorable moments there. When drinking, I find that I take longer than average to get drunk and faster to get sick. I could keep drinking until I’ve built it into an art, but why bother?

  128. 128.

    Three-nineteen

    @pk: @Xecky Gilchrist:

    “Hate sports and wouldn’t be caught dead in a bar.”

    Liking sports has nothing to do with drinking, and what exactly is wrong with being in a bar? The right bar is a great place for a group of friends to get together, have a drink or two and catch up (even if a couple people are drinking Diet Coke or water).

  129. 129.

    mclaren

    I have nothing against Mormons in particular, but I don’t trust…lifelong teetotalers without a medical reason to avoid alcohol as a group.

    Assuming DougJ is serious, how is this different from saying “I have nothing against atheists in particular, but I don’t trust…lifelong unbelievers…as a group.”

    Or:

    “I have nothing against scientists in particular, but I don’t trust…lifelong non-superstitious people…as a group.”

    Or:

    “I have nothing against non-whites in particular, but I don’t trust…lifelong non-Caucasians…as a group.”

  130. 130.

    EnfantTerrible

    President Barack Obama likes sports. He likes beer. He likes sports bars.

    I read that as “sports bras” at first. Who doesn’t like sports bras?

  132. 132.

    SIA

    @raven: Yep, I’ve lost a few folks too. This coming January it’ll be 33 years. I had two choices and went with b) to hang around planet earth for a while longer. Salute!

  133. 133.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @raven:

    I come out of a totally alcohol based social life in the midwest and have spent 27 years in a “drinking town with a football problem”in the south.

    There’s that number again.

  134. 134.

    mclaren

    @Three-nineteen:

    Liking sports has nothing to do with drinking, and what exactly is wrong with being in a bar?

    People in bars are loud, aggressive, have very poor judgment and even worse impulse control. Not a fun place to be. If you want to get beaten up or stabbed or shot, hang around in bars. If you’re a woman and you want to get raped or sexually molested, hanging around in bars is a great way to do it. If you’re black or gay and you want to get beaten or lynch-mobbed or killed, go to a straight bar.

    Those of us who don’t drink find bars intensely unpleasant and strive to avoid ’em.

  135. 135.

    Mnemosyne

    @Pen:

    Something about liberally using wort, beer, and wine in cooking just sets them off. I can’t figs out why ;-)

    If someone tells you they have a peanut allergy, do you make sure to put some peanuts in their food just to screw with them? If you have dinner with a vegetarian, do you make sure to use chicken broth in the dish and then tell them afterwards, “Ha-ha, you ate meat!”

    Seriously, grow the fuck up. If someone doesn’t want alcohol in their food, then don’t put it in there.

  137. 137.

    SIA

    Bush was totally drunk at the Olympics. Just google “Bush drunk Olympics”. And here are photos. Bet he was drunk at Crawford during Katrina! Ten thousand dollars?!!

  141. 141.

    Sullivan Hyde

    I HAVE LAUGHED AT AND AGREED WITH OTHER BLANKET GROUP PUTDOWNS BY DOUGJ BUT AM OFFENDED NOW THAT ONE INCLUDES ME.

    AND/OR

    I HAVE COMPLAINED ABOUT EVERY PAST BLANKET GROUP PUTDOWN BY DOUGJ AND KEEP COMING BACK ANYWAY.

  143. 143.

    grandpa john

    well I don’t drink anymore. being Diabetic severe enough to use an insulin pump has a lot to do with that however. I can remember a few days this summer when it was over 100 here,that a Salty Dog or Gin and whatever would have tasted mighty good even a cold beer although I never was much of a beer drinker.

  146. 146.

    BobS

    @mclaren: I agree that bad shit can happen when people drink too much, but it usually doesn’t. Judging from your statement, I’ve spent a lot more time in bars than you have and most people are pretty well behaved most of the time. Maybe if you didn’t strive so hard to avoid bars, you’d actually know what occurs inside them.

  147. 147.

    jefft452

    @Hypatia’s Momma: “It means “one who abstains totally from all alcoholic beverages”. That’s it. Why one might abstain and for how long isn’t part of the definition”

    I somewhat disagree
    The term comes from the late 19th early 20th cen temperance movement
    Teetotal as in total with a capital T
    Those who took the pledge were part of a “Movement”, wore a ribbon so everyone would know, and would tell you endlessly that they were abstainers

    I don’t NOT drink, I just don’t drink
    Back when the term was relevant, wouldn’t be considered a Teetotaler

    Maybe the term has changed meaning since then, but I don’t hear it used often enough to think that it has

  148. 148.

    Cacti

    After 20+ years in the Mormon church, I think an occasional beer/wine/cocktail might help some of them dislodge the corn cob from their colons.

  149. 149.

    LanceThruster

    @Cacti:

    And possibly likewise a bowl or two. Can’t say what the result of some of the Native American sacred rituals might do or other ‘organics’. When they were doing LSD studies, the results that those with a more adventurous personality had pretty remarkable experiences (actors, artists, etc.) and those with a more rigid or authoritarian mindest (cops, clergy) had intensely frightening or unpleasant experiences.

    Feed your fvcking head, Mitt.


    Your mileage may vary.

  150. 150.

    BobS

    @LanceThruster: It wasn’t uncommon for remarkable and unpleasant to be wrapped up in the same trip. I’ve heard. I’ve also heard that organic psychedelics gave a better ride than the manufactured varieties.

  151. 151.

    Lihtox

    Proud Democrat and proud teetotaller here. Alcohol tastes *disgusting*, and too many loud frat boys wandering the streets in college put me off the stuff for good. (Not to mention the way I drink diet soda like a fish suggests I’d be an alcoholic like my grandfather.)

    But by all means, enjoy! :)

  152. 152.

    Mnemosyne

    @Amanda in the South Bay:

    Biden had an O’Douls (or some kind of non-alcoholic beer — can’t remember the exact brand). That’s one of the reasons why the Onion’s version of Joe Biden is so hilarious.

    @BobS:

    Not to defend mclaren, but I think you missed the thread from yesterday where a judge in Arizona blamed the victim of a sexual assault for being at the bar where a drunk off-duty cop grabbed her crotch. There was someone there basically saying that no woman should complain about being sexually assaulted at a bar because bars are places where people let their id run free and anything can happen. I think mclaren was riffing off that.

  154. 154.

    Greyjoy

    I didn’t taste alcohol until my 21st birthday because I still looked 16 and my parents would’ve cheerfully killed me for lesser infractions than stealing booze out of the cabinet. By the time I was 21 and a broke college senior, there was no way I was gonna blow half my measly paycheck on something that tasted like nail polish remover. I have a few drinks a year so I’m not a complete teetotaler, but I just don’t really have a taste for it. Sorry. Expensive and yucky, and there are so many more delicious things I could be consuming for my dollar. There are a few drinks I like, but predictably they taste like dessert, and I tend to dilute them with water or cream when I can.

    But that being said, I currently have a house full of booze because I put tons of it in my food: hard liquor into homemade ice cream, beer into homemade pizza dough, and sherry into just about goddamn everything else. So, I guess come on over and drink my booze because I don’t plan to.

    I will say that I’m learning to appreciate wine. I always liked the idea of wine so I’m trying.

    But you really want to talk about people who mistrust you for not drinking something, I submit: coffee drinkers. My God. At least alcohol drinkers understand that moderation is important, but you ever see a line of crabby-ass jonesing coffee-drinkers at 2pm because their morning caffeine IV wore off? And they’ll drink any coffee, even if it’s horrible, stale, cold, old, if that’s the only thing available. Coffee-drinkers are crazy.

  155. 155.

    Thatgaljill

    I rarely drink (but I do occasionally enjoy a John Daley)… but it’s mostly because I’d rather chew my calories :)

  157. 157.

    dogwood

    Here’s a fact that nobody seems aware of – Joe Biden has never had a drink in his life. I don’t think that in any way diminishes his “ordinary guy” cred.

  158. 158.

    Death Panel Truck

    but I don’t trust lifelong teetotalers without a medical reason to avoid alcohol as a group.

    Were Frank Zappa alive today, he’d probably call you a fucking idiot.

  159. 159.

    Ruckus

    @raven:
    Pretty much the same here although I will have an occasional drink, probably less than a half dozen or so a year. Mostly it’s because I have abused my liver enough for a couple of people over my lifetime. Mom used to tell the story of me finishing off party goers drinks when I was about 3. Said I was smashed before they caught me. Big reason though was I hate hangovers. I get too many headaches/migranes without the chemical assistance, using them just made it worse.
    Now on to the subject at hand. I don’t think it’s the lack of drinking that’s the problem, it’s the lack of humanity and socialization that’s the real issue this go round.

  160. 160.

    Ruckus

    @mclaren:
    Those of us who don’t drink find bars intensely unpleasant and strive to avoid ‘em.

    For someone who complained up thread about bigotry you seem to be more than willing to group people together based solely on your own prejudices.

    I don’t have a problem with bars, other than buying a soda in one can be damned expensive.

  163. 163.

    Yutsano

    @Ruckus:

    I don’t have a problem with bars, other than buying a soda in one can be damned expensive.

    Wow. I haven’t bought a soda in a bar in forever. I don’t drink for the same reasons as BruinKid (not Christian, not Muslim, not Mormon) so I just say the two magic letters DD and I either get the soda for free or next to nothing. Maybe that worked better in my small college town, but I’ve done it elsewhere.

  164. 164.

    JR in WV

    @Comrade Jake:

    Just maybe he trusts his staff to cope with routine meetings, and to involve him if there’s any chance he needs to be involved. Ya think?

    As opposed to Bush attending a meet and then saying “You’ve covered your ass, now go away…”

    I know which seems to be working better…

  165. 165.

    TheDeadlyShoe

    I’ve introduced several people to alcohol over the past couple of years. In each case they had had a little wine, a little other stuff, and decided they just didn’t like alcohol. In each case, TROPICAL PARTY MAI TAIS were the gateway drug. I will note they were all guys, and guys are scared of girly drinks, yet girly drinks are best drinks.

    I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with not drinking, just that there is a Hella Variety of Stuff under the blanket term ‘alcohol’. You wouldn’t dismiss pasta if all you had was Bachelor Bill’s Bac-Os & Spaghetti Special. Or French cooking because you find escargot disgusting.

  166. 166.

    opie jeanne

    @DougJ: Then my darling grandmother would have terrified you. She came from a family of alcoholics.

    Look, I generally agree with you but this is just some kind of stupid, not trusting people who don’t drink. There are lots of people who eschew alcohol because of the observed effects it has, and I’m not just talking about Baptists and Methodists or Muslims.

    I tend not to drink because of the alcoholics throughout my family.

  168. 168.

    bob h

    My only contact with Mormons has come when I’ve travelled to poverty-stricken, desperate countries, particularly in Central America. They seem to feed off human misery, offering some sort of false consolation. But isn’t that basically what Mitt’s campaign has been all about?

  169. 169.

    Chinn Romney

    I have an old Army Buddy who married a Mormon. I had not seen him in a number of years when one summer he came up to New England to pickup an RV he bought online. His 2 young daughters were with him. He stayed a couple of days with us.

    Last night of the visit I was grilling outside, chatting with him, and I mentioned that I never offered a beer (drinking was all we had to do at Ft Hood in the mid 80’s) because I just assumed he couldn’t. He grabbed a bottle, and looking over his shoulders to see where his girls were, he proceeded to inhale the thing. Poof, it was gone in about 2 seconds. He only had the one though. Later, at the grocery store, his daughters were appalled when he picked up a couple of Red Bulls. He was going to drink them “only if he needed to”, whatever that means.

    He’s not a ‘real’ Mormon, I suppose. But it’s similar to my long held suspicions of Southern Baptists. At least the louder ones. The more they’re against something, be it booze or sex, the more likely they’re partaking on the side.

  170. 170.

    Nylund

    I’m not a big drinker, but I do enjoy a drink, mainly, good red wine, whiskey, and beer. I really enjoy them and I think life is better when you have those little moments of enjoyment with them.

    As for people who don’t drink for religious reasons? It depends on how self-righteous they are. I have friends who keep kosher. I don’t care one way or another that they don’t eat certain foods. I have friends who don’t drink and I don’t care. But, I have a cousin who can’t go more than 10 minutes without telling you how he’s never sworn, smoked, or drunk in his entire life and it drives me insane. His self-righteousness really gets under my skin.

    And, I must admit, when it comes to religious rules like that…no drinking, no swearing, no dancing, no gambling, et…it seems so puritanical and so fundamentalist. It kinda gives me the heeby-jeebies. Maybe that’s not right, but it does. I get scared of it trying to be imposed on others, or scared that if you can convince people that dancing is evil, you really can convince them to fear, hate, or look down upon anything or any group or anyone. That makes me nervous.

    Of course, it’s not always like that. My friends who keep kosher do it out of respect and tradition. It’s a little bit of sacrifice they do to show devotion. That’s ok. They don’t think I’m lesser for eating foods they wouldn’t. There’s no attempt to force me to do the same or to judge me because I don’t follow those rules.

Comments are closed.