Rush Limbaugh went on a tirade today about how “feminazis” and “chickification” are to blame for the fact that he has a tiny dick the average penis is 10 percent smaller than 50 years ago:
The conservative radio host pointed to an Italian study which found that the average male penis was 10 percent smaller than 50 years ago. Researchers cited weight gain around the waist, smoking, stress and environmental pollutants as factors.
But Limbaugh wasn’t buying that explanation.
“I think it’s feminism,” he declared. “If it’s tied to the last 50 years — the average size of [a male’s] member is 10 percent smaller than 50 years — it has to be the feminazis, the chickification and everything else.”
“Give ‘em time and they’ll blame Bush. But air pollution vs. feminazis? Ha!”
Yes, Rush. Bitches be shrinking your dick. I mean, it just makes sense! As between environmental causes and bitches, always go with bitches.
[read full post at ABLC]
redshirt
Bush Penis Shrinkage – my new jazz/bluegrass band.
Richard
Rush, that’s probably the drugs you’ve been taking.
Schlemizel
I assume one of his Dominican rent boys told him he is shrinking – he can’t see for himself.
Baud
It’s a good thing we’ve cured cancer so scientists can focus on the important stuff.
Dr. Squid
Yeah it couldn’t be his fault that he’s a fatass with a mushroom for a w33ner – gotta be teh feminists fault that he eats like a hog.
scav
Italy: That bastion of female domination of all things and heartland of feminazis. No wonder Silvio overcompensated.
Baud
Ha! I blockquoted the article and now I’m in moderation.
Linda Featheringill
@Schlemizel: #2
Ooohh! You’re bad! :-)
Davis X. Machina
Are dicks shorter, or bellies larger? You have to measure from something….
beltane
How would this account for Rush’s truly impressive rack?
lumpkin
Many, many years ago, RL actually argued the issues and was much more of a country club republican. now he’s on the leading edge of stupid crazy. He must be getting down to trolling for audience only among the bottom 27%.
The Ancient Randonneur
Oh my, Rush, that certainly explains your penchant for “youthful” hookers. But don’t sweat it too much old buddy, an inch more you’d be the king, an inch less the queen.
Short Bus Bully
Holy shit, this is awesome. Rush is turning into a real life caricature of a cartoon asshole. Like someone trying to be the real life version of Snidely Whiplash.
Just fucking incredible…
Jennifer
To be fair, Rush is only extrapolating from personal experience. He’s always had a microdick, ever since his puberty 50 years ago – it’s got to be because of those castrating bitches who have the gall to assert that they’re people, too.
QED, muthafuckas.
Linda Featheringill
Please, Rush, tell us exactly what we did to make you shrink. Then we won’t do it again. I promise!
Ruckus
What the hell is fat fuck on about now? Dick size? Shrinkage caused by women? Not in my experience. But then I’m not a fat, greasy, foul smelling, douche nozzle with a dick the size of a gnat and an affliction for boys.
OK I’m assuming the foul smelling and dick size. But what else could make him that ugly of a (barely) human?
Linda Featheringill
Women seem wicked when you’re unwanted.
MobiusKlein
Dunno about the rest of the Hetero men around, but Bush makes my …
General Stuck
Limbaugh is projecting cause it takes a halogen flashlight and claw hammer to find his johnson. By a team of Spelunkers with three days notice.
AA+ Bonds
Just playing to the Republican base
dead existentialist
Well, I remember when a woman could make my pecker 50% larger*, but then maybe that’s the difference between me and Rush.
*Sniff :( I didn’t have all that much to start with, but it was mighty in it’s own right.
Gravenstone
This coming from the same pederast who got busted going into the DR with a lifetime supply of V!agra, obtained under someone else’s name. Irony, she is a rich bitch.
dance around in your bones
Ok.He lost his hearing from drug use and now he can’t see his dick.
Pobrecito. Chingito.
Bago
Inevitable grower and shower joke goes here.
bemused
@efgoldman:
Those millions don’t come without making an ass of himself daily.
scav
The poor dears are just so fragile and prone to collapse. Can’t have a strong minded female or any male whatsoever look at them funny. African Violets have nothing on Limbaugh’s vision of red-blooded males.
GregB
Little known fact. Rush was the stunt penis at the beginning of Bachelor Party Two.
True story.
Mr Stagger Lee
@Linda Featheringill: Maybe something about magnifying glasses and tweezers. I heard a lady saying that to a dude who thought he was God’s gift to women, and and I sprayed beer on my ex cause it was so funny. though it was not funny to my ex, God I still beg on my knees for forgiveness, but that was classic slapdown.
Chyron HR
New one-liner for office Republicans: “Hey, I heard Rush Limbaugh says that women make his penis shrink. Do you have that problem, too?”
gbear
Well if he was having sex with men his own age instead of teenagers that wouldn’t be as agrivating an issue for him, would it? Those kids just can’t hit his sweeet spot.
gbear
Oh, this thread is just moderation bait isn’t it? I can’t even blockquote the first paragraph. fywp
Anoniminous
This is off the charts weird.
Just Some Fuckhead
It’s drug addicts like Rusty dragging the average down.
Chris T.
I suspect it’s bad statistics … but to any extent that it isn’t, it’s pretty damn fking obvious that the cause is chemicals that mimic estrogen. Most of these are found in plastic. Even USA-Toady has published some of the distilled research results (last year, in the link I found quickly via google).
YellowJournalism
Somehow the word “projection” covers this topic in more ways than one.
Pavonis
I never understood what type of man would buy those _____-enlargement drugs from spam email. Now I know and it ain’t pretty.
Cassidy
William Wallace:”Or we’ll make spears. Hundreds of them. Long spears. Twice as long as a man.”
Hamish:”That long? Some men are longer than others.”
Campbell:”Your mother been telling you stories about me again eh?”
Sal
Coincidentally (?) on io9 today…
sal
Link not displaying? Koro Syndrome
The Fat Kate Middleton
@Linda Featheringill: I bow to you.
Just Some Fuckhead
My gristle missile has actually gotten much, much larger over the last 50 years.
ABL
@Linda Featheringill: Nice!
Xecky Gilchrist
I thought it was soymilk that was turning us all into girly-monsters.
The Fat Kate Middleton
@Chyron HR: Not bowing … just stealing this.
GxB
Well this insight from the OxyWhale certainly puts the GoP’s “Club for Growth” in a whole new light.
Southern Beale
Assholes like Limbaugh always have to blame someone else for their inability to get it up. Maybe he should show some, you know, personal responsibility.
MinuteMan
I can explain the fall-off: the ubquity of of fact-checkers.
MinuteMan
The solution is quite simple: the latter-day ubiquity of fact-checkers!
Forked Tongue
Look on the bright side, Rush. The male sexual organ may be shrinking but if you’re any indication, the male mammary gland is definitely enlarging.
kc
Curse you, ABL, for making me think about Lardbaugh’s tiny dick!
TooManyJens
This is going to be another thing they blame on birth control pills, isn’t it?
Jebediah
@General Stuck:
Who could afford the hazard pay they would demand?
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
@Linda Featheringill:
Awesome.
Odie Hugh Manatee
@Schlemizel:
More like Rush noticed that the schlongs of the island boys at his favorite vacation spots are getting smaller.
Rush is a catcher, right?
The Moar You Know
Huh. He went there.
celcus
Contamination of his precious bodily fluids?…it all seem to make sense now
The Moar You Know
@Linda Featheringill: Never really appreciated this lyric before you quoted it in this context.
dance around in your bones
Chickification.
Hah. More likely he’s gaining the weight back (doesn’t he look fatter nowadays? Not that there’s anything WRONG with that) but I bet he just can’t see his lil wienie over that gut.
Sure, blame the chicks.
Ok, this is really just too stupid to respond to. So strike everything I said (retrospectively, of course).
g
is that all it takes, just looking at Limbaugh to shrink his dick? I should have done it years ago!
NotMax
4 is the new 7.
Vodkamuppet
Oh yeah, it totally has nothing to do with all the discarded pharmaceuticals in the drinking water. You know, the same pharmaceuticals that are causing all the hermaphrodite frogs. Nope, it isn’t that. Shrill bitches are obviously to blame.
Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)
Sounds like Bloaty’s Pizza Hog has finally lost what little mind he had.
Lurking Canadian
How exactly is that supposed to happen? If his argument was that feminism is causing an outbreak of erectile dysfunction…well, it’s still bullshit, but at least it’s sort of plausible. But what biological mechanism could be causing dicks not to grow? The evil eye?
jl
I just did a
franticinternet search of academic articles and news items (because a friend asked me to, honest. I wasn’t even going to click on this post, but this friend of mine called me, God’s truth).I can find no evidence of such an Italian study done in the last several years. The links go around in a cricle to three jokey “weird science” blogs.
Did Rush reveal his secret sorrow because of a hoax? Oh, the Humanity!
Edit: I guess I have to call my friend now.
El Cid
If it’s a legitimate ball-busting, the male body’s got a way of shuttin’ that whole shrinkin’ thing down, is what I hear from doctors.
Djur
Penis measurement studies today vary more than 10%, so something tells me that comparing any of those to a study from the ’60s would be a fool’s errand.
(I’ve seen studies citing the average penis being anywhere from 5 to 6 inches, which is a lot more than 10%.)
Even if there was any evidence for penises being shorter, I wouldn’t be so quick to cite estrogen mimickers. To the extent we have any idea what affects dong longness, it’s genetic. There’s probably environmental influences too, but we really don’t know what they are or when they’re influential.
sm*t cl*de
I can find no evidence of such an Italian study done in the last several years. The links go around in a cricle to three jokey “weird science” blogs.
Imma guessing it started out as a misunderstanding of a recent study into the success rate of different p3n1s-enlarg3m3nt
scamsschemes (which mentions that the schemes are becoming more popular, as more guys want to live up to a false ideal).Jerzy Russian
@General Stuck:
I have always like the use of the word “johnson” to mean a pen1s. On the other hand, please don’t use johnson and “Lim—gh” in the same sentence. Some of us just had supper.
Jerzy Russian
Also too, are people like Ron Jeremy becoming less and less common over time?
sm*t cl*de
The last time anyone in Western culture seriously claimed that
witchesFeminazis were making men’s penes shrink was back in 1486, with the Malleus Maleficarum. He’ll go Full Kramer and spend his next broadcast calling for a return to burning at the stake.This is not too surprising after learning Agin’s (literally) medieval views on pregnancy, but the American Right’s regression into the Dark Ages is progressing faster than anyone had expected.
danah gaz
Seriously, first of all – when is the last time this man actually saw his own penis? (It’s a fucking rhetorical question, people!)
And second, what is he doing looking at everyone else’s penis?
More sex tourism, only to Iowa this time? Is he trolling rent boy?
And finally, as far as penises – I’ve seen my fair share (give or take), and they seem to be doing just fine.
danah gaz
Seriously, first of all – when is the last time this man actually saw his own p3nis? (It’s a fucking rhetorical question, people!)
And second, what is he doing looking at everyone else’s p3nis?
More s3x tourism, only to Iowa this time? Is he trolling rent boy?
And finally, as far as p3nises – I’ve seen my fair share (give or take), and they seem to be doing just fine.
FYWP – this wordlist is getting just plain ridiculous
AHH onna Droid
@lumpkin: Hardly. Doonesbury satirized him in the 1990s using his own words. One gem? Limbaugh claimed that boob size was inversely related to IQ in women. He also invented the term feminazi, and routinely ridiculed Al Gorr. He loved having dittoheads, which doesn’t seem very country club to me.
John
That’s funny, Rush, ’cause I can think of one huge dick right now.
fuckwit
Actually, testicle size (and perhaps penis size, but testicle size was studied) has been shrinking in the west for a long time, probably since the introduction of monogamy.
It’s a combination of monogamy and birth control that’s accelerating it in recent years.
The reason is pure evolutionary biology. I’d recommend the book “Sex at Dawn” which cites the studies and explains the data very clearly.
fuckwit
Hah, and FYWP, This topic is going to make the moderators weep tears of blood.
Central Planning
@Djur:
We have the government to thank for funding the research for more accurate penis measuring devices!
Central Planning
And FYWP for moderating that last comment.
HeartlandLiberal
OMG. Has Limpbaugh finally just gone totally freaking insane? This was really what he said? On air? Live?
Well, FWIW, to get all serious about the topic, tie this physical trend in with the trend of males going bald by their late 20’s.
All I can say is, Americans are going to learn the hard way that if you live your life from childhood in households that are filled to the brim with chemicals from cleansers, air fresheners, and every possible chemical sh*t imaginable, don’t come crying to me when your penis shrinks, your hair falls out, and you start dying of cancers from the age of 40 or 50 years on.
As if that were not bad enough, it turns out that fraking for gas and oil is done with not just water, but with a devils brew of chemical that is turning areas of heavy fraking into, you guessed, human cancer hot spots. E.g: http://www.policymic.com/articles/6465/fracking-exposed-shocking-new-report-links-drilling-with-breast-cancer-and-women-s-violence
Oh, and by the way, I assume Rush is speaking from personal experience on this one. You know what I mean.
Hunter
How does he square that with the fact that gay men have larger penises?
ET
He has to be saying that shit because it plays well on the radio cause honestly I don’t think even Rush is that stupid (or at least I hope he isn’t cause if so it is so sad that many teachers time was wasted on a brain so incapable of working).
Kathy in St. Louis
I’m trying to get some context here. Does he mean that women becoming full human beings and wanting rights has caused penises to shrink, or does he mean that pushy women have gone from man to man individually shrinking the penises of men over the past years? I’d say if it’s the former, there wouldn’t seem to be much scientific support for such a statement. If it’s the latter, then he’d be a real target for the “feminazis” and must have a really microscopic one by now.
estamm
Other things that have changed in the last 50 years that could be just as related to penis size:
TV watching
Porn
Leaded to Unleaded gasoline
Microwave ovens
The rightward shift in Republican politics
Global warming
Just remember, correlation proves causality!
Dakota
If women were the cause on penis shrinkage that oinker wouldn’t even have a Johnson to whine about. He would have an innie by this point!