Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Consistently wrong since 2002

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

People are complicated. Love is not.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Let there be snark.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

You cannot shame the shameless.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

A dilettante blog from the great progressive state of West Virginia.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

I was promised a recession.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

Americans barely caring about Afghanistan is so last month.

You are here: Home / z-Retired Categories / Site Maintenance / Just So You Know

Just So You Know

by | 151 Comments

This post is in: ,

In the previous thread I posted, certain people were all over me for not having a life on Friday. I found this amusing, because as I was writing that post, there were 15 people in my house for our usual Friday night party and pot luck. We had lots of good eats and dozens of bottles of wine and we will rock out for a couple more hours. So I whipped up some signs that say, well, you can read them:

Click to embiggen. Y’all really need to stop worrying about me. I have a fucking great life.

BTW- my mother was standing behind me and refused to hold a sign, not because it had the word “FUCK,” but because she felt there should be a comma before haters.

*** Update ***

I am just loving this. Here are the ladies reacting to the comments on the previous picture:

The comment that got them all hysterical was “Although, the girl on the right side with the 7th grade HomeEc imitation Native American Belt and maroon faux-leather boots with tiny gold beads does intrigue me somewhat. She has a nice smile. Kind of mischievous.”

The belt is from Peru, the boots are real leather from Sweden, and the wry smile is just her being mischievous, as always. I’m just sitting here cracking up looking at them read the comments about them, thinking- “Hey, welcome to my world, when every picture is super scrutinized to death.”

I can assure you- no one here is wearing faux-leather or HomeEc belts.

Reader Interactions

151Comments

  3. 3.

    jrg

    I like the dude in the middle. He doesn’t need to kill trees to say “fuck you”. He can do it his own damn self.

  7. 7.

    jl

    Thanks for the ‘before’ pic.

    Thanks in advance for the ‘after’, which I await eagerly.

    And, that snack bowl needs to be refilled. Just sayin’.

  9. 9.

    The Dangerman

    Your Mom is correct; there should be a comma.

    I wonder how Victor Borge would have read “Fuck You, Haters!” in his “inflationary language”?

    /deep thoughts

  10. 10.

    Comrade Mary

    Oh, and congratulations for having both Joseph-Gordon Levitt and Amy Mann at your shindig. Lily seems very taken with Amy.

  11. 11.

    Gravenstone

    That’s our Cole. And the art of greeting via middle finger is sadly underutilized in this country.

  14. 14.

    Bruce S

    How the fuck can you live with yourself, partying like this when Conor Freidsdorf and Glenn Greenwald are busy at their computers being wrong about shit ??!!??!?!?!?!!!!

  18. 18.

    Linda Featheringill

    Underneath the protective cloak of all those Fuck You signs, our John allows a picture of himself to be taken and published.

    We’re making progress. Hooray for John!

    And you do need a comma there.

  22. 22.

    gnomedad

    @The Dangerman:

    Your Mom is correct; there should be a comma.
    I wonder how Victor Borge would have read “Fuck You, Haters!” in his “inflationary language”?

    And phonetic punctuation for the comma (cluck) of course (sput)

    Fuck you (cluck) hniners (fssss) (sput)

  23. 23.

    Dr. Loveless

    The bearded guy on the left in the green shirt is cute. Is he single? And gay?

    (Hell, I’m spending a Friday night crushing on Cole’s friends. I must REALLY have no life.)

  24. 24.

    chopper

    oh, so you were busy hanging out with your mom. rock on with your rocking’ life, cole.

    i kid. because i love.

  30. 30.

    eemom

    Actually I don’t give a shit what kind of life you have. The actual target of my comment was the SIXTH FUCKING POST on Conor fucking Jerkdorf — which by the way said exactly nothing that the other FIVE didn’t say.

    I can see how the subtlety might have eluded you.

    ETA: Good evening, Mrs. Cole. [waves politely]

  31. 31.

    The Dangerman

    Upon further review, I call it a 9.5; a mandatory half point deduction for the percentage of women behind either signs or guys (Dude!). Would have be a Perfect 10 with extra credit if your Mom would have passed on the sign, yet given us a double barrelled salute.

  35. 35.

    dance around in your bones

    Dude, I offered to be your girlfriend the other night but had to disqualify self-deport myself since I am old enough to be your mom. (My kid is 40).

    Oh well. It woulda been fun.

  36. 36.

    suzanne

    Your mom’s right. And awesome. I love that she holds herself to such high standards with her profanity.

    I used an app recently that analyzed every Facebook status I’ve ever written. I use longer words than 98% of people, and more profanity than 95% of people. I can just say FUUUUUUUUCK and, voila, two birds, one stone, people.

  38. 38.

    YellowJournalism

    Your mom is awesome. Your friends are pretty cool, too.

    My favourite is the one flipping the bird gangsta-style sideways. I also love that yellow dress the redhead is wearing. Too cute!

  41. 41.

    Corner Stone

    People throwing a dozen past their prime Hipsters into the fire probably shouldn’t talk much mess. Especially when they took the time to print out those really unique signs to hold up. That’s fucking sad.

    Although, the girl on the right side with the 7th grade HomeEc imitation Native American Belt and maroon faux-leather boots with tiny gold beads does intrigue me somewhat.
    She has a nice smile. Kind of mischievous.

  46. 46.

    kwAwk

    If anyone was somehow mistaken thinking Cole doesn’t have a life, I’m sure it has nothing to do with Cole being on here day after day telling us how he’s a reclusive misanthrope who hates all people and never leaves his house except to visit the People’s Republic of Madison 9 times a year.

  50. 50.

    Steeplejack

    @Corner Stone:

    That belt is from Stuckey’s!

    Do you still have those? When my family was road-tripping in the ’60s we kids used to love to stop at Stuckey’s (prompted by the 200 signs leading up to it) to stock up on pralines, fake Indian bead belts, candy cigarettes and bubble-gum cigars. Good times.

  59. 59.

    dance around in your bones

    @Steeplejack:

    When my family was road-tripping in the ’60s we kids used to love to stop at Stuckey’s (prompted by the 200 signs leading up to it) to stock up on pralines, fake Indian bead belts, candy cigarettes and bubble-gum cigars. Good times.

    Oh man, we used to road-trip all over New Mexico in our family station wagon, stopped at a million ‘trading posts’ and cement tee-pees…..I remember the candy cigarettes. If you did them just right you could blow “smoke” out of them (powdered sugar) and feel very sophisticated at the same time.

    Good times, indeed.

  64. 64.

    JR

    You appear to hang out with an unreasonable number of attractive women. Good for you.

    JR +pretty much a whole bottle of viognier

  73. 73.

    Comrade Mary

    Re the update: are those women casting a frosty spell on your laptop screen? And can they teach me how to do it?

  75. 75.

    jl

    Nice pic. Pretty ladies. Thnx.

    But…

    “dozens of bottles of wine and we will rock out for a couple more hours.”

    That ain’t after.

    Not sure if I will be on late enough to catch the after, but you people don’t let Cole pass that off as ‘after’.

  76. 76.

    22over7

    *Waves to everyone*

    Go ahead, have one more drink. Somebody should be having a good time tonight, and it’s sure as hell not me.

    And for the love of pete, somebody pet the dog.

  78. 78.

    PsiFighter37

    @Corner Stone: Someone just got TOTALLY called out by the blogmaster.

    Congratulations, sir, on a job well done and on a compliment well played, sir.

    PF37 +5 and almost kinda wishing I was at Cole’s shindig

  82. 82.

    Porlock Junior

    Alas, though, your Mom is a less well-informed or less flexible pedant than mine was. (That one of these ladies would have used such language, while the other would not, is a mere matter of age.)

    “Fuck you haters” does not require a comma unless one is insisting on a particular reading of the sentence — which differs rather microscopically from the comma-free one.

    By way of illustration, “Fuck all you haters” does not require a comma, and can ill support one.(*) “Fuck you all haters” definitely wants a comma, with the choice making (again) a fine and probably uninteresting distinction.

    (*) Good catch, all you who noticed that certain questions might be answered “Fuck all, you haters!” Irrelevant, however.

    This posting contains three errors in composition, just to irritate the grammar-flame haters. Or am I lying?

  83. 83.

    Ms. D. Ranged in AZ

    Cole, I am happy that you have a life. In contrast my night entailed having to eat my delivered wings sans ranch dressing and trying my best to ignore NickJr on the TeeVee. And the highlight of my evening is my 2year olds sense of humor. I sat down in the lazy boy and he came over to me and laid his head down on my bare thigh (it is still too damn hot in Hellhere). Just as I started to stroke his hair thinking he was being affectionate, he put his mouth on my leg and blew a huge, spitty raspberry. He was so pleased with himself.

    After I get him to bed I have a very lovely bottle of Malbec to enjoy while I catch up on the Mad Men eps that I missed. I know, I am TOTALLY out of control. Somebody stop me!

  86. 86.

    Gus

    Okay, you’ve proven you have a (nice!) social life. Except you’re still checking blog comments when you have a house full of guests. Fer Chrissakes, drink too much wine and enjoy some conversation with them!

  87. 87.

    dance around in your bones

    @Ms. D. Ranged in AZ:

    @dance around in your bones: Well I am 42 and have considered propositioning Mr. Cole myself. Alas I am stuck in the land of libertyloonies (AZ).

    Jeez, you’d think he’d have all the wimmins begging for hisself, based on this blog!

  88. 88.

    Linnaeus

    @Gus:

    Okay, you’ve proven you have a (nice!) social life. Except you’re still checking blog comments when you have a house full of guests. Fer Chrissakes, drink too much wine and enjoy some conversation with them!

    I suspect we’re the entertainment.

  89. 89.

    Porlock Junior

    Sorry, my edit of 85 failed; but obviously a comma is missing from that. Its placement depends on US versus British convention, the latter being, oddly enough, more reasonable.

  90. 90.

    suzanne

    @Ms. D. Ranged in AZ: Funny, I was trying to enjoy my delivered salad sans dressing, and I’m currently hosting a Phineas and Ferb marathon, as the Elder Little is ill. And you’re right. It’s still waaaaaay too fucking hot.

  91. 91.

    1badbaba3

    Dude, it’s not hate. I think you handle being totally surrounded by West Virginians quite admirably.

    Rock on, monstah.

  92. 92.

    dance around in your bones

    @PsiFighter37:

    I passed out drunk on the NYC subway once, covered in my own vomit.

    Dude, we kinda expected as much, based on yer drunk-blogging the other night.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  93. 93.

    ronin122

    Ladies, if you’re still checking the comments, get John laid, and get Tunch’s fat ass on here.

    No worries, half the time we just say such things just out of spite of BJ’s king.

  94. 94.

    eemom

    The comment that got them all hysterical was “Although, the girl on the right side with the 7th grade HomeEc imitation Native American Belt and maroon faux-leather boots with tiny gold beads does intrigue me somewhat. She has a nice smile. Kind of mischievous.”

    omfg Cole, Corner Stone’s gonna be on the next plane to WV.

  96. 96.

    EZSmikzz

    Yes, John, but when they dance do your senses tingle with circumstance? –Wait, wait, that’s a Neil Young tune… Yous guys.

  114. 114.

    Ms. D. Ranged in AZ (IrishGirl)

    @dance around in your bones: Yeah or he thinks all these women hitting on him are a) not serious, 2) crazy chicks, or c) both.

    Seriously, I am probably not Cole’s type…I’m no one’s type (she says her voice full of self-pity). I am on Match but don’t even bother to go there anymore. I give up. I just can’t find a man who can keep a job, can communicate his feelings in a healthy way and isn’t intimidated by me (oh and doesn’t mind that I have young kids). Maybe when I’m 60 and the kids are out of the house I will start dating again. End of pity party. ;)

  116. 116.

    Debbie(Aussie)

    What a wonderful looking bunch of friends. Hope you continue having fun.

    Sadly, I have isolated myself over the past decade and can truly say I have no friends, (close family relationships only). Depression sucks.

  118. 118.

    amorphous

    Why, helloooooooooooooo ladies!

    My name is amorphous, been commenting here for several years now, so me an John are like totes homies, and I also am not going to vote for Obama on principle: I don’t like his breed of dog.

    Hit me up!

    amorphous
    upstate NY
    living near the area with the trees

  119. 119.

    James E. Powell

    For the record, I’ve never said anything about your social life. I do know that you eat better than I do.

  120. 120.

    dance around in your bones

    @Ms. D. Ranged in AZ (IrishGirl): Oh honey, I can relate.

    I lost my husband of 40+ years recently, and when my family suggested that maybe I could look around, I just recoiled in horror.

    I mean, none of the guys my age are appealing (too many failed relationships) and the younger guys would prolly be repelled by my squashy tummy and etc – I still like to look at the young guys, however.

    Ok, I am a letch. A letchess?

  125. 125.

    dance around in your bones

    @Suffern ACE:

    They so pretty :)

    P.S. I look in a discreet manner. All my kid’s friends are surfers and buffy bike riders and all.

    Discreet.

  128. 128.

    RedKitten

    @Sarah, Proud and Tall: Internet friends absolutely count. I have a close-knit group of women who I met in a mommies’ group, and we now chat on FB daily. I live in a tiny village and have very few friends within a day’s drive, and my best friend who lived in Ontario, passed away this May. So my online posse keeps me sane — we’ve been there for each other through births, deaths, divorces, job crises, bad hair days, and anything else life has thrown at us.

    Hell, I considered our own Cole a friend long before I even knew what the fucker looked like.

  129. 129.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    “The belt is from Peru, the boots are real leather from Sweden…”

    IOW she’s an elitist lefty who probably knows someone from Hollywood. Why is that other young lady using a choke-hold on Lady?

  130. 130.

    Violet

    John, your party looks like fun and your friends have a great sense of humor. To the girl in the yellow dress: I love your dress! Looks great on you! Love that we got a bonus shot of Lily. Aww…love her.

  131. 131.

    Ms. D. Ranged in AZ (IrishGirl)

    @dance around in your bones: Oh, honey letch away. I did have, for a while, a young hottie (he was 37) chasing me (he liked older and curvy). I played that up for a while when I got tired of all the play but none of the real, if you know what I mean. You could find someone to fool around with and there’s not a damn thing wrong with it. Nor is there anything wrong with just letching. Don’t let anyone pressure you.

    In the long run just fooling around isn’t what I want. Such pleasures are too fleeting, like eating too much cotton candy and ice cream at the state fair. Fun for that brief time but not good for the long haul. And after you’ve been to that rodeo enough times, you kind of figure out that it’s easier and better to not even get that first cotton candy. But no matter what age a woman is, a good man is hart to find.

  133. 133.

    Debbie(Aussie)

    @Sarah, Proud and Tall: Thanks Sarah. Am working on that :) really like the people here at BJ, a complicated politically knowledgable crew with fierce liberal views. My kind of people. People who care about Others.

  135. 135.

    dance around in your bones

    @Ms. D. Ranged in AZ (IrishGirl): I just had such a good thing for so long….it’s hard (heh) to think about another (real) relationship.

    I expect I’ll get over that, eventually. ‘Til then, I will freely letch away.

    @eemom: Jesus loves you more than you will know. Wo wo wo.

    Maybe I’ll get lucky. Ho ho ho.

  136. 136.

    Violet

    @dance around in your bones: No reason you need a real relationship. A casual meeting for coffee, a date, a dinner, a romp in the sack. Any or all of the above, or more are perfectly acceptable. There’s no right or wrong way to go about it.

    From what you’ve said of your husband, it sounds like he’d want you to live your life and enjoy it. Don’t be afraid to honor him like that.

  137. 137.

    dance around in your bones

    @John Cole:

    Available is 80% of the game when you hit my age.

    You’se a baby at 40 whatever. I think available is 80% of the game at whatever age. All the good guys were taken LONG ago. Sigh.

    Not that I’m actually looking at this point, regardless of my recent offer to be yer girlfriend.

  138. 138.

    dance around in your bones

    @Violet:

    From what you’ve said of your husband, it sounds like he’d want you to live your life and enjoy it. Don’t be afraid to honor him like that.

    Well, if he was still around, he’d fucking kill me. I don’t know what he’d think now – he hasn’t appeared to me since he died, the fucker.

    But, you’re right – he was a kind and gentle man, from the first day I met him. He’d probably want me to get on with my life in whatever way makes me happy.

    So, come on, excellent dudes!

  145. 145.

    different-church-lady

    The belt is from Peru, the boots are real leather from Sweden, and the wry smile is just her being mischievous, as always.

    Yeah, okay, you gonna hook her up with Corner Stone or what?

  146. 146.

    Jay in Oregon

    I am just loving this. Here are the ladies reacting to the comments on the previous picture

    Holy crap, people read this site?

  147. 147.

    Steve

    John – you should monetize your Friday pot lucks – seems like several people would pay through the nose to enjoy the company of some of your guests.

  148. 148.

    Cain

    Hey it’s great that you have a bunch of friends to hang out with. Best wishes.

    yeah, okay, I didn’t snark. I hope I don’t get kicked out.

  151. 151.

    Corner Stone

    @Kittehs to the rescue: I…uhhh…umm. I’m not sure I really want to know how one comes across a picture like that.
    I mean, I’m aware of Rule 34 and Sullivan and Cole’s closet and all that. But this was a level or three beyond all that.
    Thanks? I guess?

Comments are closed.