This week it’s actually fun to be a Democrat. Steve M. at No More Mr. Nice Blog nails it:
MITT ROMNEY MAKES A HOSTAGE VIDEO
Seriously, I’ve seen people held for ransom by guerrilla armies who read scripts more convincingly than Romney reads this — which will apparently be the only ad he’ll have on TV in the coming days (apart from some Spanish-language ads). A few phrases come off as sincere — those are the ones that denounce Obama, which tap into his deep reservoir of free-floating resentment. But when he says it’s regrettable that people are in straitened economic circumstances, and he tries to arrange his face to suggest he feels your pain, it looks as if his entire being is recoiling at the effort to connect with the unwashed masses…
Dave Weigel at Slate asks, rather gleefully, Hey, Remember How Sean Hannity Thought the 47 Percent Tape Was Great for Romney?
And Rich “Starbursts” Lowry takes to the pixels of Politco with his vast sadness:
… Indeed, the two conventions — so far, the pivot of the election — were encapsulated in their two signature performances. On one hand, there was Clint Eastwood’s rambling, improvised 10-minute routine saying that it’s OK to cashier Obama. On the other, there was Clinton’s (at times rambling and improvised) 50-minute speech detailing why Romney’s program is wrong for the country. Eastwood could have given his speech at amateur night at a comedy club; Clinton could have given his at a policy luncheon at The Brookings Institution.
There’s been nothing to match it for the Republicans, which is one reason that Romney is now tied with Obama on the economy in many recent polls. Election Day is nearly six weeks away and there’s still a sense that the Romney campaign has not yet — although it is moving this way — fully begun to make its case on substance.
This doesn’t mean it is doomed. Lincoln said that Gen. George McClellan had a case of the slows. The media has a case of the overs. Any alleged Romney gaffe, any bad poll number is taken as yet more evidence that the election is “over.”
In prior elections, the media has been criticized for calling a race without waiting until the polls close in California; this time, it wants to call the race without waiting until October. The press won’t be truly satisfied until a white flag of surrender is hoisted over Romney’s Boston headquarters and Stuart Stevens and gang throw their BlackBerrys on the ground and come out with their hands up….
Spoiler alert, for those of you who won’t give Politico the hit: Lowry has just the solution!
… I thought Romney’s best moment on the campaign trail — although predictably mocked — came when he broke out a whiteboard at a press conference to illustrate the difference between his Medicare program and the president’s. It was true to him and it explained the matter crisply. If Paul Ryan can do PowerPoint slides, Romney can bring back the whiteboard….
I sympathized with Ann Romney when she told all the amateur political consultants to back off the other day. She’s right that running for president is hard. But what Mitt Romney has to do is relatively easy. He has to make an unrelenting case for his program, and pitched particularly to the practical concerns of middle-class voters. He has to give the public compelling reasons to pick him in an election that will be a choice, not a referendum.
A whiteboard? Was Ryan’s Powerpoint Ranger display too modernistically threatening?
Maybe Mitt’s athletic maneuvers at the whiteboard would give Lowry — excuse me, the hesitant swing voter — a better view of Romney’s mom-jeans-clad rear? Hey, a nice stiletto pair of Naughty Monkey pumps would help show off those “ass-ets”, I betcha. And maybe Mitt can throw the adoring audience a wink, too also!
P.S. Anybody else here old & cynical enough for Lowry’s close to remind them of “a choice, not an echo”? How’d that old rallying cry work out, again?
Or something like that.Suffern Ace
Transparencies and grease pens and maybe that distinct smell of mimeograph fluid will bring them in. I for one would like an actual carbon copy.
Hill Dweller
How many reboots has Willard had in the last 2 months?
Dennis SGMM
You rang? See, before it was a referendum, but now it’s a choice.
piratedan
@Dennis SGMM: soon it will be an option for a voucher or even a coupon that you can turn in for whatever government service you may need, be it healthcare or buying a Congressional vote on a particular bill.
amk
Amazing how both sides hate and vilify the emessem (h/t eemom). Karma of bothsidesdoitism?
Rathskeller
It will not be to everyone’s taste, but I enjoyed reading the comments at this thread on redstate.com, “Doom, Gloom, and Polls.” Erick Erickson makes some unremarkable points about the state of play in the election. He clearly acknowledges that Romney is behind, and discusses the potential that Romney has to turn it around.
His commenters fucking hate it and some of them are starting to turn on their leader. They are convinced it’s a liberal conspiracy. They are really turning on each other.
Anatoliĭ Lъudьvigovich Bzyp (Mumphrey, et al.)
I really like that new Romney ad. The only thing missing from it is Mitt Romney telling us, “I’m not a witch.”
Hill Dweller
It didn’t register initially, but Lowery advising Willard, who has been running for President for 6 years, to get specific 5+ weeks out from election day is f’n hilarious.
dance around in your bones
I said this earlier in another thread, but the No More Mr Nice Guy sentence about Mitt ‘arranging his face’ cracked me the fuck up. Because you SEE him doing it. Painfully, ineffectively, struggling, but no-go.
Sorry, Mitt – your empathy chip needs an upgrade.
(Well, that’s assuming you even HAVE one.)
Hill Dweller
@Anatoliĭ Lъudьvigovich Bzyp (Mumphrey, et al.): It looks even worse to anyone that has previously seen the newest Obama ad showing the veterans and workers with Willard’s “47%” remarks as the soundtrack.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Romney can bring back the whiteboard….
What is it with these people and props? I can just see all those people in Florida who have been turned off by Ryan budget to suddely say, Or Doris? Maybe it won’t be so bad. He’s got a white board!
Dennis SGMM
@piratedan:
Though I cast a jaundiced eye on conspiracy theories I am tempted to believe that this year’s Republican campaign was orchestrated by Jim Baker and George H. W. Bush to rehabilitate the Bush name and thus enable Jeb to run in ’16.
Though it’s far from corroboration, I note that every one of the initial slate of candidates could be outsmarted by certain mollusks.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Anatoliĭ Lъudьvigovich Bzyp (Mumphrey, et al.): What would Willard’s ad be “I am not a dick”
different-church-lady
The best thing Romney could do for his campaign right now is resign from it. He’d probably get a few points bump.
different-church-lady
@Or something like that.Suffern Ace: Library paste. LOTS of library paste.
Jewish Steel
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Yeah, good point. Glen Beck and his wacky blackboard too. His wackboard.
@Or something like that.Suffern Ace:
Jesus. I know it rings hollow when people threaten to hie away to Canada. But I will fucking do it if this comes to pass.
Or something like that.Suffern Ace
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: On the props, I think they need an excuse to talk about them and not the ideas. Either that or they want Romney to lead us in a national corporate brainstorming session.
Spaghetti Lee
Naw, it’s just, you know, the campaign needs some more whiteboard. I mean, whiteboard. Wink wink nudge nudge.
It has indeed been a fun few weeks. Hope it stays this fun all the way to election day.
Yutsano
@Spaghetti Lee: At this point I’m starting to worry about complacency. The stories about how O has this in the bag could depress turnout, and we still need voters to get out for the downticket races as well.
different-church-lady
@Dennis SGMM:
Once it seemed so appealing
Now it is beyond belief…
Bort
Lowry is spot on. If Mitt can just get that whiteboard and convince the middle class to give him a huge ass tax cut in return for cutting Medicaid, getting rid of SS and Medicare, getting rid of college loans and most other social programs, they are going to luuuuurrrrve him. This isn’t rocket surgery people!
amk
coattails of mittbot. batshit crazy bachmann is the victim ?
? Martin
@amk: But we have different angles on it. The Right argues that the media are co-conspirators in the liberalization of the world conspiracy (read Brachiators link from the other thread). The Left just assumes the media are incompetent and suck at their job.
Redshift
This was my favorite bit:
“Tied” in “many recent polls.” Yeah, no denial of reality there…
TS
When Rich Lowry and his sidekick Bill Kristol are having some sads – I am in 7th heaven. I see them sitting up straighter and wonder if Boy Ryan fits the image.
different-church-lady
@amk:
I’ve been trying to think of what the opposite of coattails might be. Underwear tails?
Yutsano
@different-church-lady: What has been accomplished there has been witnessed. :)
dance around in your bones
@different-church-lady:
If we’re gonna keep referring to Elvis C we might as well link to the original song, no?
I’m a huge Elvis Costello fan :)
Or something like that.Suffern Ace
@Jewish Steel: Hey. WE here in the USA invented the Post it Note. And we probably invented the white board. And once we had those tools we brainstormed our way to be the greatest most powerful nation on earth. Do you think Canada can save you from our awesome facilitators?
I’ll put that question over here in the parking lot for us to address later. Right next to the two state solution and South Ossetia.
Linda Featheringill
@Yutsano:
Downticket races are still worrisome. Very worrisome, in fact.
The only constructive thing I have to offer is the fact that two groups that historically have broken about 60-40 Republican are now close to an even split, males and oldsters.
I assume that Medicare/Medicaid is the main reason for the shift in the over 65 group. These folks might really listen if we pointed out how their incumbent representative voted over the last 2 years.
But this has got to happen soon. Early voting is popular among this crowd.
The guys? Not sure. I haven’t run across good numbers that break up the data by gender and age and race. Would love to see what the white males under retirement age are doing.
? Martin
@different-church-lady: I think the opposite of coattails is foreskin.
Anatoliĭ Lъudьvigovich Bzyp (Mumphrey, et al.)
One of the most fascinating things for me lately has been watching the race harden over the last two weeks or so. We’ve reached the point now, at least I think we have, where there’s nothing left that Romney can do himself to win this. Even if he shocks us all and rises to the debates, that won’t be enough, since he can’t just tie President Obama, he has to beat him. And that won’t happen unless the president shows up drunk or high on cough syrup.
At this point, there are really only two ways that I can see for Romney to pull this off. Some cataclysm could befall the country, a terrorist attack or a financial panic or something like that; or else the Republicans could keep enough people from voting in Florida and Ohio and Pennsylvania and a few other states to steal the election. Those are really the only two ways Romney can still pull his campaign out of the shitter. And while I am truly worried about the latter happening, I’m still, on the whole, feeling pretty good about this. Romney has reached the point where the means to win are altogether out of his hands. Shit, if your campaign strategy is to pray that terrorists attack the U.S., you’re pretty well sunk.
I recall back when I was in 9th or 10th grade or something, and Mondale was running. It was the first election when I really understood, more or less, what was going on. I was in class one day, talking to some other kid whose parents were Democrats, and we were talking about how Mondale could still win. And in a purely theoretical way, he could have. But, come on, he wasn’t going to. He could have–in the same way that I could find a trunk of buried gold tomorrow when I walk the dog in the woods–but he wasn’t going to. But back then, though I had learned all about how Congress worked, and the Constitution, and the seperation of powers, and how long congressmen’s terms are and how long senators’ terms are–that is, I knew how government worked–I didn’t understand how politics worked. So election night in 1984 was a pretty long, sad one for me.
I think this election night is going to be a bad one for Republicans. Since, in 1984, one of the things I knew was that Mondale had led Reagan for a week or something after the Democratic convention. Since he’d led Reagan at one point in the summer, it made sense that he could pull ahead again. I was rather green back then. But this year, Romney hasn’t led at all, as far as I can recall. He didn’t even lead the president in the week after the Republican convention, and if you can’t squeak ahead for a few days after your own convention, you really are pretty much through.
I see these whacked out columnists and bloggers who still say or write with straight faces that Romney not only could win, but that he’s going to. People really do hate Obama. People are going to come around and see how incompetent he is. He’s going to go down in the debates, because he really isn’t that smart, and he won’t have his teleprompter and he only got where he is because he’s a black guy, so he got all the breaks that hard working white dudes like Mitt Romney never had. There are people who truly believe that. Shit, I understood how elections work the day after election day in 1984, and I was 14 or 15 or 16 or whatever. These are grownups here, at least chronologically, and they don’t know how this works.
It amazes me. It floors me that these people who believe this shit can even make it to breakfast every morning without finding some way to drown themselves in their beds. These people are so titanically brainless that they could find a way to set themselves on fire in the bathtub. I’m guessing that a lot of these people will be rather nastily shaken awake in about a month and a half; but I don’t think they’ll learn anything from it.
? Martin
@Linda Featheringill: I’m not worried. Downtickets seem to be doing VERY well. The evidence suggests that the GOP message the Democrats couldn’t convince focus groups was real has been fully accepted as true. Whatever doubts voters may have had appear to be cleared up now that our male Congressional idiots decided to pontificate on how the lady parts work, and now that we’ve heard Mitts economic plan in it’s full unvarnished form.
All of the downticket women are up. All of the downticket races that have made Medicare part of the campaign are up. I think voters have woken up to the fact that Congress matters a LOT.
dance around in your bones
@Anatoliĭ Lъudьvigovich Bzyp (Mumphrey, et al.):
Ok. totally OT from your long and thoughtful comment, but I remember my husband telling me about – back in the day – pfarmacies (spelling deliberately snarled to bypass the FYWP spam filter thingimajoo) that sold Robitussin AC over the counter and the kids lined up around the block to acquire the bottles…..he would go to concerts high as a kite on that shit.
Anatoliĭ Lъudьvigovich Bzyp (Mumphrey, et al.)
@dance around in your bones:
I’ve heard that it gets you flying, though I’ve never tried it. I don’t even know what’s in cough syrup that does what it does.
dance around in your bones
@Anatoliĭ Lъudьvigovich Bzyp (Mumphrey, et al.):
Back then it was the codeine :)
Now you need a prescription for that.
Death Panel Truck
@dance around in your bones: Janis Joplin used to drink codeine cough syrup from a Jack Daniel’s bottle at concerts. I was never one for pills, until I discovered Tylenol #3 when I was sick with strep throat when I was 19. Grooooovy stuff. ;)
? Martin
@Anatoliĭ Lъudьvigovich Bzyp (Mumphrey, et al.): Dextromethorphan. Also referred to as DXM. It’s in the same family of drugs as codeine and ketamine and PCP. When you get a seriously bad cough, they upgrade you from DXM based drugs to prescription codeine based ones.
There’s not much DXM in cough syrup, but if you take enough of it…
dance around in your bones
@Death Panel Truck:
The juice of the poppy – yummy. I discovered this when I was cleaning out a house we shared with another couple in AFG – a baseball-sized black tarry substance. I asked my husband what it was, and he said “opium – throw it out”.
Well, being of an inquiring nature, I decided to try a little chip of it with my tea in the morning.
Imagine my distress a month or so later when it ran out and I was writhing on the bed, sweating and chills. Husband says “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I sheepishly explain……he laughs and says “You’re jonesing, idiota!”
Have always had a fondness for the juice of the poppy. Over there, it just seemed to fit.
(I don’t know why I confess these things – it’s late at night and I ought to go to bed)
Applejinx
You were expecting a blackboard maybe? ;P
Death Panel Truck
@dance around in your bones: I won’t tell on ya. ;)
ETA: Although I gotta say, if you went through a baseball-sized ball of opium in one month, those chips in your tea musta gotten bigger and bigger as each day went by. ;)
PeakVT
Curiosity has made it’s most exciting discovery yet: pebbles.
dance around in your bones
@Death Panel Truck:
I really am going to bed now – I hope nobody else reads this. Fuck. Me and my big mouth.
I was a junkie, baybay!
ETA: I said a month or SO…..but, you are possibly correct.
Joey Maloney
@amk: Whatever else happens (aside from an Obama victory) this election, if I get to see “Crazy Eyes” Bachmann bounced out on her tuchis, it’ll all be worth it.
Is there any polling from Paul Ryan’s home district? Any chance of him losing his seat as well? Man, that would be delicious.
? Martin
@Joey Maloney: Ryan has a double digit lead. His opponent isn’t particularly well known. That may help him close the gap as he gets some ads out, but it’s a pretty solidly red district, so Zerban is a real longshot to win that.
Death Panel Truck
@dance around in your bones: We’ve all had our vices at one time or another. Everyone here knows that. I used to drink the equivalent of a fifth of whiskey every night for a few years there in my mid to late twenties. ;) In my defense, I was a newspaper reporter at the time, and my colleagues and I were all hard drinkers. It comes with the territory.
sharl
Dennis G., if you happen to look in here, there’s been another media sighting of your ol’ pal Jack Abramoff:
He’s really gone into the lion’s den this time, as part of his ongoing Rehabilitation Tour – BBC’s HARDtalk. The interviewer worked him over fairly good, as is their wont on that show, mostly on his interactions with his former American Indian client tribes, the ones he ended up defrauding.
James E. Powell
Romney & his people are insisting that he will expose Obama’s lies at the debate.
Proposed discussion: imagine you are on Romney’s debate prep team. What are the best three lies or “lies” that you can throw in Obama’s face?
PeakVT
@James E. Powell: Obama is cutting Medicare, Obama has abandoned Israel, and Obama has and/or will raised taxes on the middle class. There are others that would please the base more, but I think those would best get the attention of undecided voters. The first two are fairly easily refuted (and refudiated), but the main goal is to sow FUD. The last is a little more tricky since there are lots of “taxes” floating around, some of which have gone up, and some of which should go up. But, again the goal is basically creating FUD.
ETA: I think Romney is going to be mostly negative as most people don’t like his policy positions. He’ll have to lie about those, too.
Thlayli
OK, Rich. Whatever you say.
Out here in the real world, the media is doing exactly the opposite, frantically shouting “the horserace is still going on! Keep watching us to see how it ends!”
amk
@? Martin: Oh, I get that. I myself think these are overpaid idjits, who are corrupt to the core as well. Was just pointing out the irony that thugs don’t seem to care for the 24×7 public tongue baths from their media shills.
bago
@Or something like that.Suffern Ace: That much absolecence in a single sentence was like a 4 hit combo. You could extend it with punch cards, floppies, and top it of with a non-raid HD.
Yowch!
bago
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: I want whiteboards. Screw that, I want a tablet app miced up to play Romney taking both sides of every position over the past 20 years.
Schlemizel
@dance around in your bones:
This always reminds me of a quote from H2G2 When the gang try to get Marvin Your plastic pal who’s fun to be with! excited about thier plan:
Lurking Canadian
How many times are they going to trot out “Romney just has to define himself and his plans for the voters!”?
You know what, desperate media lackeys? The voters understand Romney and his plans perfectly. That’s why his poll numbers have fallen off the cliff. The last thing he needs is for more of the electorate to understand him.
huckster
And then he fired him…
Hal
Wasn’t that white board filled with lies? Yes Mitt, bring the white board and do not write a single truth on it. That will get voters to vote for you.
Patricia Kayden
“But what Mitt Romney has to do is relatively easy. He has to make an unrelenting case for his program, and pitched particularly to the practical concerns of middle-class voters.”
But isn’t one of Romney’s biggest problems that he refuses to be specific about his “program” or his policies? Several times he’s said that we will be told the particulars AFTER he’s elected. Romney thinks we should trust a compulsive liar without hearing what he plans to do after he’s President. Right!
cmm
@Hill Dweller:
You know, when you haave to constantly reboot your computer to get it to splutter along weakly for a while before rebooting again, it is generally time for a new computer. Perhaps they might want to move on from that particular metaphor.
dance around in your bones
@Schlemizel: I loved Marvin.
I don’t think the Romneytron3000 is self-aware enough to be depressed, however. He just thinks he’s awesome, for Pete’s sake! and that’s why he should be President.
Instead of that other TRULY awesome guy.
ThresherK
@Or something like that.Suffern Ace: Mimeograph fluid is not a winning scent for a certain generation of lefties who just barely got out of Catholic school with their sinister-handedness intact.
(Rubs phantom pain out of knuckles.)
@cmm: Try “Romney’s campaign is like a lawnmower which barely idles as long as you’re spraying starting fluid down into the carb, but won’t turn over when it’s put back together.”
JustRuss
A whiteboard can be a great tool, used properly. But given Mitt’s chronic aversion to actual numbers or any other specifics, I was a bit skeptical about Lowry’s “best moment” claim. And indeed, it was a whiteboard full of Fail.
Lowry you idiot, there’s a reason that presentation was widely mocked. When a Republican has lost Business Insider, he’s in trouble.
grandpa john
@Hill Dweller: Any advice from “Starburst” Lowry is bound to be hilarious
West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.)
I can’t stand Hannity; I don’t know why he isn’t skewered on a regular basis by Stewart the way John used to go after Beck. (I guess Beck was so over-the-top batshit-crazy that he was a good target). Hannity is dumb and transparent and smarmy. I wish he’d publically unravel.