I’ve known for a while that the media would stage a kabuki Romney comeback at some point, but I wasn’t sure how they would do it. Steve M. seems to have found the answer:
Mr. Romney’s team has concluded that debates are about creating moments and has equipped him with a series of zingers that he has memorized and has been practicing on aides since August.
His analysis of the likely media response is dead on:
I’m sure Fox and Drudge and the New York Post already have the list of zingers, and already have a plan, coordinated with the Romney campaign, to declare one of them the line of the evening, the one that embodied Romney’s decisive victory, with the backup choices rank-ordered in case Romney never manages to deliver Choice #1, or in case it falls flat.
That doesn’t worry me too much, because the right lives in its own reality; I’m a bit more worried about the mainstream press — if Romney competently delivers a zinger or two, Chuck Todd will no doubt replicate the restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally, and he won’t be faking. People like him will declare Romney the victor as a result.
It probably won’t matter much, except to convince the Shelly Adelsons of the world to drop more money down the ol’ car elevator.
Moonbatting Average
I’ll take “There That One goes again” at -3.5
different-church-lady
“Is it alright if I call you Barack? Good, because I got a bunch of zingers where I call you Barack.”
Frankensteinbeck
Nope. Romney will deliver a zinger or two, then say something so tone-deaf, cruel, pathetically weak, fumbling, or all of the above that it will wipe away his one carefully rehearsed moment of competence. This is a man who has gotten through exactly one debate without humiliating himself, and fired the guy who coached him. Normally decent political strategies do not apply to Romney, because he cannot carry them out.
Spaghetti Lee
has equipped him with a series of zingers that he has memorized and has been practicing on aides since August.
Wow, how presidential. Is he even aware that, if elected, he’ll have to deal with people who won’t wait around for you to think up a zinger, or does he think that it really is just some popularity contest that ends on November 6?
Also: given how the R campaign has acted so far, I’m betting a) the aides are too scared of being fired to even pretend being really confrontational, and b) they’re expecting the same Fantasy Obama that the rest of the GOP believes in, the one who is slow-witted and stupid and scared of going off the script-i.e. the one that doesn’t exist in any way. This could be fun.
dmsilev
Of course, most of the impact of a “zinger” comes from its spontaneity, so announcing to the world that you’ve spent the last month and a half carefully rehearsing your put-down lines may not be the best of ideas.
Scott S.
That sounds like a pretty likely scenario. Not sure that I’m worried about it, ’cause the Romney campaign’s ideas have been almost universally awful. It’s fairly possible that either the zingers will be anti-funny (or so obscure as to sail right over the heads of anyone who isn’t Dick Morris) or that Romney’s delivery will be hilariously bad.
dmsilev
@Spaghetti Lee: I’m sure all the aides laughed at Mr. Romney’s zingers and told him that his delivery was both hilarious and devastatingly effective at putting down Obama.
Mitt strikes me as the kind of guy who likes his yes-men.
Maude
Romney is so stupid.
robertdsc-PowerBook
When has Rmoney done anything right?
MattF
Tsk. There you go again.
Petorado
The zingers will definitely be game-changers. After all, what better way to overcome the overwhelmingly negative opinion the public feels about Romney as a smug, uncaring, overly-entitled prick than to toss off some nasty one-liners that make him come across as a smug, uncaring, overly entitled prick. Genius!
different-church-lady
@Scott S.:
“There were zwei peanuts, walking down the straße, und one was ‘assaulted’… peanut”
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Since Willard’s zingers are probably based on talk radio/Foxnews imaginary Obama, I imagine this is gonna be teleprompter-joke level stuff. Dennis MIller (who probably wrote them) will be pathologically guffawing with BillO, but most people (who stick around for post-debate analysis) are probably gonna hear Wolf and Candy or George and Jake talk about this or that ‘zinger’ and think, “that was supposed to be a joke? I don’t get it.”
Zifnab
@robertdsc-PowerBook: That time he was born to rich parents.
Seriously, though. Is this the magic moment where we get to break the Ni-CLANG barrier? Where Romney tries to beat the sitting President at The Dozens? Sad.
different-church-lady
“Ahh, yes, I have a zinger for that!” [fumbles through suit pockets] “Now, wait… where did I put that? Ah, yes, here it is! [puts on reading glasses]. “AHEM… so’s your mother!”
Rommie
Yes, it’s easy to dream up great lines when you are facing an Obama statue. What a shame the actual president is the one you’ll face live and in color. One shoulder-brush (or its equivalent) later and Money Boo Boo gets owned.
I’d say there’s more chance of Obama pulling a Bentsen/Quayle humiliation than Mitt channeling the Force and becoming an expert debater.
lamh35
But won’t knowing that the Romney camp have been “practicing” these zingers won’t that ruining the “zing” of it all? I mean, people hate spoilers for a reason. Even the village can be pretty darn snarky.
lamh35
But won’t knowing that the Romney camp have been “practicing” these zingers won’t that ruining the “zing” of it all? I mean, people hate spoilers for a reason. Even the village can be pretty darn snarky.
blingee
Fuck Chuck Todd. I wouldn’t trust the guy to be competent at flipping burgers at McD.
Nerull
I’m not amazed by Romney memorizing ‘zingers’, or shaking the etch-a-sketch and rebooting his campaign weekly as much as him TELLING THE ENTIRE WORLD ABOUT IT.
What kind of bonehead announces his plans? Any “Zinger” he gives that is the least bit memorable will be tainted by the association that it took him months to come up with it.
Every move Romney has made for the last several weeks has reeked of desperation, and that has to be filtering down to his supporters.
I’m sure Obama is making strategy decisions as the dynamics of the campaign change as well, but he gives off confidence and doesn’t announcements about it.
beltane
@dmsilev: We need to create a drinking game centered on these zingers and what will most likely be their out-of-context placement in the debate.
It’s a good thing for Mitt he never led the life of a single person because he really would have sucked at the whole pick-up line thing.
wrb
There has gotta be a mole or a turn-coat.
Even those in the Romney camp must know that you don’t broadcast a zinger plan in advance.
k488
“I have some prepared spontaneity to use.” Yeah, that’s a great plan. I’m thinking Mitt will just be Michael Scott at a sales convention.
JustAnotherBob
@dmsilev:
Exactly. Now if Mitt’s timing and delivery is perfect what would have been a 10 is going to get judged a 7, at best.
And any screw-ups are going to get amplified far above what they would have been. “How could he have rehearsed that for two months and still screwed it up?”
Dumbest campaign operators ever?
Bokonon
I am sure this looks great in bullet point format on a Powerpoint presentation. Something like:
* Deliver zingers.
* Feed narrative that Obama is really Jimmy Carter.
* Manipulate media.
* Great visuals.
* Win election!
Frankensteinbeck
@lamh35:
Hard to say. The Village doesn’t like Obama, generally wants Republicans to win, and would really, really like a dramatic recovery narrative. More than any of that, they hate Romney. I can no longer predict how that conflict of pathetic and juvenile biases will play out.
Sargeant Pepper's Spray
“if Romney competently delivers a zinger or two, Chuck Todd will no doubt replicate the restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally, and he won’t be faking.”
Best line ever!
different-church-lady
ZOT! So I was imagining Mitt coming out and telling lame jokes, and there’s a really bad canned laughtrack, like from a 60s sitcom, and it got me thinking about the Beverley Hillbillies, and all of sudden it hit me: Romney isn’t Thurston Howell III at all — he’s Milburn Drysdale!
different-church-lady
@Bokonon: You left out “steal underpants”
beltane
Mitt is going to throw Obama and the moderators off their rhythm by asking the audience “Did you know that GOD is DOG spelled backwards?”
Nerull
I’ve always gotten the impression that Romney is so used to being in charge of the business that he thinks that’s how the rest of the world works. He’s always been around people who have been paid a lot of money to put up with his bullshit, and congratulate him on how good it smells. He’s never lived in a world without yes-men. A world where you have to think before speaking, a world where buzzwords and powerpoint slides aren’t enough. And he doesn’t know how to do anything else.
Amir Khalid
Mitt’s debate-prep team knows he’s gefickt, and they’re just trolling him. That’s
cruelpayback for when he fired the debate coach who helped him out before the primaries.feebog
Yes, well rehersed “zingers”, delivered at precisely the right moment will turn the tide. Or not. As someone who participated in Debate at both the High School and College level, I can’t wait to see the Rombot 2.0 try to use one or more of these during the first debate. You prepare for a debate by studying the subject matter of the debate, not memorizing lines. Mark my word, the Rombot 2.0 is going to fuck this up good and proper. He is a moron, and his staff collectively are morons.
dmsilev
@Bokonon: OMG. You’ve found it! He’s going to bring a Powerpoint presentation to the debate!
Where’s James Bond when we need him most?
Disraeli
A venture capitalist, a job creator and a Catholic priest walk into a bar …
They practically right themselves.
dmsilev
@Amir Khalid: I’m pretty convinced that most of Mitt’s staff are just in it to suck money out from donors.
eemom
You know I feel so dirty when they start talkin cute
I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is probly moot.
Fucking love that line.
Anya
Romney needs to talk to President Dukakis about how a we delivered zinger can win an election.
Tripod
@Bokonon:
Where’s the beef!?
The Rmoney camp is downright Homer-esque in its simple faith that thirty-old pop culture minutia still has currency.
NonyNony
@dmsilev:
Anybody else getting a distinct George Costanza vibe off of this story?
Gindy51
@Bokonon: More like
1. Deliver zinger.
2.
3. Profit!
Southern Beale
Well, #MittZingers is already a Twitter thing, with everyone mocking the whole Romney “zinger” thing. The mere idea that Mitt has been rehearsing “zingers” since fucking AUGUST (hello?!) so he can come off as “unscripted” and spontaneous is pathetic at best, ludicrous at worst.
So the MittBot is now compatible with the Zinger app? Get real, people.
Chyron HR
@NonyNony:
“The Curse of Ham store called… they’re out of YOU!”
MattF
@NonyNony: Shrinkage!
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@beltane: You think his staff hate him so much by now they’re gonna slip a pot brownie into his dressing room?
Ann, pass me that plate of chocolate, ah, goodies, won’t you? (Twenty minutes later, on stage)….. Dood, we fuckin’ name a kid Tagg… Tagg, Tagg, Tagg Taaaaaaaagg…..
mooshi mooshi mooshi….
wasabi gasp
In case of emergency, punctuate zinger with firm squeeze on bicycle horn.
WereBear
I see this as yet another instance of Republican bass-ackward thinking:
People love those debate moments where a candidate spontaneously sums up the recent topic with pithy wit!
Let’s fake it.
different-church-lady
@NonyNony: Oh… my… god… Romney’s gonna say he slept with Michelle before this is all over, isn’t he?
different-church-lady
@wasabi gasp: “And two hard boiled eggs.”
“And two hard boiled eggs.”
“HONK”
“Make that three hard boiled eggs.”
Richard Fox
Zingers. He is going to throw out zingers. A bon mot if he is really in good form. Wait. let me see if I have taken all this in: an evening of bon mots (a boy can dream) ZINGERS… possibly a rejoinder or two, maybe a good YARN added to the punch if the mood becomes rip roaring and frothy and he really has a good crowd egging him on. At a Presidential debate. To decide the future of our nation. The direction he will lead the United States of America both economically and internationally. All beautifully telegraphed with ZINGERS! Zingers that are (hopefully) not prodded, but brought forth spontaneously to LIFE! studded with gems and who zits, and to the President to his face–live!
I think I have it now. Whew. I need a julep.
lamh35
Zingers only work if they make sense. “Noun, verb, 9/11” makes sense with someone like Guiliani. The same zinger means less against anyone else.
And usually they often come in a counterpoint against what your opponent says. Now does anyone truly believe that Romney will have many opportunities to do this with Obama? Like I’ve said, if you don’t at least give Obama the benefit of being a great debater, he is at least compotent. Plus unlike Obama, Romney has had more flip-flop on darn near every issue.
Plus I suspect like McCain, Romney has NEVER had to debate a person of color in his life. He’s got to treat POTUS with some respect. Obama can still win with smaller parts of the white electorate and that part can get even smaller if by trying to “zing” the first African American President he comes off as being flippant or disrespectful. Heck after McCain’s “that one” thing in his debate with Obama, you had people blistering McCain on his condescension…and people LIKED McCain. The village except for Halperin and the Faux-lite people don’t really like Romney, and he already has a problem with people thinking he’s a condescending douche!
ETA: I’m beginning to thing the Romney strategy is to just throw out all these debate pre stories to give the Obama folks and the media some sort of false expectation of ….grandeur???
Liberty60
@Nerull:
Thats my assessment- Willard has lived his entire life without ever being in a situation where he had to struggle to win.
Every game was rigged, every job was a heads-I-win tails-you-lose proposition.
blingee
Whatever they try do I expect mostly dirty tricks and very little substance. Anything to avoid an actual debate on facts.
They are probably going to try throw Obama’s timing off, interject right before Obama tries to make his point. Constantly interrupt him. I suspect some of these comments they are making about zingers are only half true. Sure there will be some of that but I think they want the Obama campaign to expect more of that and they will probably try a lot of other things. Anything to avoid letting Obama complete a talking point. Thing is, Obama is one hell of a good debater and can deal with that stuff in his sleep.
Hal
Isn’t the fact that he has to practice zingers for two months proof that this will fail?
Romney is simply not funny, and we have already witnessed that several times, from the airplane windows to the joke at Bill Clinton’s initiative.
different-church-lady
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: I was looking at DVDs at the library the other day. Looked at the back of “Harold and Kumar go to White Castle”. And what was completely funny is how the write-up went to such great pains to tiptoe around the pot angle. Not once does it ever even hint about it being a stoner film.
Capt. Seaweed
Oooo I love zingers. He’s becoming Reaganesque right before our eyes.
Will there also be quips? Bon mots, witticisms and snappy reposts? It will be just like The Gong Show, except with nukes. Can we dig up Chuck Barris?
different-church-lady
@blingee:
“Okay, Mitt, try this: in the middle of Obama’s answer, bellow at the top of you lungs, ‘YOU LIE!!!’ No, I’m tellin’ ya, funny stuff!”
NonyNony
@Hal:
Wait I’ve figured it out. This is another “lowering expectations” article before the debate. Spread the story that the candidate is so thick that he has to work on zingers for two months then when the debate comes he doesn’t throw out any “zingers” but instead remains serious, focused and professional. Boom – the journalists flock to say he exceeded expectations because nobody expected him to be so serious, focused and professional.
Of course this strategy would require a candidate who can be serious, focused and professional…
Okay, so maybe that’s not what they’re doing.
different-church-lady
@Capt. Seaweed: He’s not dead. Just his career is.
Elisabeth
I picture that smarmy, smug look after Romney thinks he’s just wowed the crowd with a real zinger. Then he’ll have to wonder why no one reacted.
amk
@dmsilev: egg.sack.lee. what a fecking, incompetent idjit.
different-church-lady
@Tripod:
Perfect Tommy
Bazinga!
Fuck ALL the chickens! (né Studly Pantload, t.e.u.u.)
I’ll bet you $10,000 this story is a feint to get Obama to load up on zingers, whereby Team Romney can come away fussing about how unpresidential Obama appeared.
To call them amateurs is a disservice to actual amateurs who work hard to acquire the skillets of the pros.
Chris
@different-church-lady:
Nominate you for threadwin.
Capt. Seaweed
@different-church-lady:
OK then. He’s not dead. Serves me right for not researching a flip, off-the-cuff remark. He’s 83. I would have bet $10,000 the CIA had offed him by now. He knows too much.
Can we get Mitt to wear a brown paperbag on his head during the debates? The Unknown Candidate?
DougJ
@eemom:
Me too!
suzanne
If anybody had any shred of an idea that theGOP was actually going to attempt to study the issues and make America a better place, this should surely put that shit out of its misery.
Since AUGUST this guy has been practicing playground put-downs?! GOD. All that time, he could have been actually working on, you know, IDEAS.
Besides, the ONLY ONE you need is “Like your mom”. Duh.
different-church-lady
@Capt. Seaweed:
In that light I guess I was nitpicking.
PurpleGirl
@Nerull: Any “Zinger” he gives that is the least bit memorable will be tainted by the association that it took him months to come up with it.
Can it be a zinger if someone else wrote it and then Rmoney had to memorize it?
patrick II
I haven’t worried about Obama debating republicans since the Healthcare Summit in 2010, where among other things he told McCain “the election is over”. He was surrounded by about ten republicans and he took each one apart in turn. It was like watching the Jason Statham of debaters, surrounded by attacking thugs and kicking each ones ass in turn.
SiubhanDuinne
@Hal:
R
The airplane windows “joke” I know, but what’s the Bill Clinton one? Musta missed that.
22over7
Wait, just a couple of days ago the Romney campaign said that its main focus was for Mitt to become the national fact-checker on Obama’s ass. Now it’s zingers?
Zingers for Truth!
I can see it now:
“Mr. President, that’s just not true!”
“Actually, Governor, it is true.”
“It’s not! And you can’t make me!”
“Wait, what?”
Redshift
McCain’s campaign was a disaster in part because they thought they were doing great if they were “winning the week,” rather than winning the election.
Now we find out that Mitt’s campaign has devolved even from winning the week to “creating moments.”
By November, the MittBot will believe he’s doing well if he’s having good nanoseconds.
JustAnotherBob
Has his team announced whether they’re going to use a live drummer or pre-record the rim shots?
dance around in your bones
@different-church-lady:
Oh, FTMFWin.
Redshift
@Capt. Seaweed:
He should have done that from the beginning, since Generic Republican always polled better than any of the actual candidates.
quannlace
Does Romney’s various staff have to worry about being yes-men? I don’t think Romney really listens to anyone.
Hal
@SiubhanDuinne:
Keith G
Zingers or not, I just don’t see how Romney can compete. As as long as the President demonstrates an easy expertise of the issues, his abilities to communicate, appear confident, and just be “the President”, will trump Romney’s stiff and petulant style of presentation. in fact I’m not sure Romney even has the ability to deliver a zinger without it falling flat. If he tries to be Reagan he will so crash and burn.
Sure, there are some in the media (now that’s a rather nebulous construct) who would like to foster a comeback narrative. It’s always a good story and guarantees more clicks. Whether or not such a tail finds the soil to take root is purely in Obama’s court.
Richard Fox
O beautiful for specious lies
For mounds of gold from Bain
For purple prose doth cannot fly
Above the hoary mane!
Rafalca! Rafalca!!
God makes his glue from thee!
And can I would with truth and good
Toss Romney to the sea!
lacp
Memorizing ‘zingers’….sounds like a plan! Of course, a zinger has to be delivered in context, which is a word and a concept that Willard does not understand. I agree with the commenters who suspect this is just a way of disrupting the President, and it will come out of Willard’s mouth as gibberish. For example:
Obama: “…within one hour after we received word of the assault on the American consulate, I held a meeting with the national security team in the Oval…
Romney (interrupting): “There you go again!”
Redshift
@suzanne:
Yeah, that struck me too, especially after the recent campaign reboot where some of the advisers said he was going to get more specific. That was followed by more ads and speeches where Mitt tells us that his plan will get people jobs and fix the economy and get those poor people he doesn’t care about off welfare, but still not an inkling of what the plans actually are.
They obviously haven’t changed their minds that his actual policy proposals are toxic. Mitt in a debate with “zinger” moments and no policy beyond generalities is going to be functionally equivalent to pointing to the President of the United States and sniggering “Hah, hah, look at the dork, he thinks he’s so smart!”
Capt. Seaweed
@different-church-lady:
Pick away! It’s only the internet. He’ll be dead soon enough.
Disraeli
@Fuck ALL the chickens! (né Studly Pantload, t.e.u.u.):
You maybe onto something.
But.
But.
But what if the Romney camp has been stockpiling zingers since the ’08 primaries. They would have a huge numerical advantage zinger wise. The quantity alone would make up for any deficiencies in actual wit, delivery or relevance.
As General Buck Turgidson so correctly pointed out, albeit in a slightly different and wholly fictional context, “Mr. President, we must not allow a zinger gap”
Spaghetti Lee
I honestly would pay for footage from Romney HQ.
“Okay guys, I know we’ve been down in the polls for months, our campaign is a national laughingstock, our candidate is a poorly-programmed android who can’t open his mouth without sticking his foot into it, and we have no substantive policy ideas of any sort. BUT! This fight is not yet over.”
“Can you just get it over with, Eric? It’s almost happy hour.”
“We’re going to write some clever zingers…and the boss is going to memorize them for the debates! You feelin’ me?!”
(collective groan, mumbling)
Nerull
Personally, I’m expecting “The people support me in email!” any day now.
Fuck ALL the chickens! (né Studly Pantload, t.e.u.u.)
@Richard Fox: Le win.
lacp
“Mr. Romney’s team has concluded that debates are about creating moments.” Ah, the Hallmark Strategy.
Spaghetti Lee
@Disraeli:
Sure he’s been stocking them. Zingers are tax deductions, after all. $5,000 for a zinger, $10,000 for a quip, and $20,000 for a Bon Mot.
Redshift
@Spaghetti Lee:
“Shhh, here he comes! Smiles, everyone!”
dance around in your bones
@wasabi gasp: :)
Keith
I foresee a replay of “Oh, yeah, well the jerk store called, and they’re running out of *you*!”
scav
So, for teabag friendly ones, dare I suggest Red Zingers (it’s caffeine free!)?
We might just get Sleepytime, but maybe he’ll go all Wild Berry on us
Yutsano
OT: Fascinating Captain…
Richard Fox
@Fuck ALL the chickens! (né Studly Pantload, t.e.u.u.): Glad my poetry appeals. I find it deathless, personally. On somewhat related note, I look forward to the 7th of November. The day the great national memory erase begins.
Romney who?
dmsilev
Suggestion to the Romney camp: The next time you feel the need to reboot the campaign (aka “Tuesday”), try holding down F5.
scav
@dmsilev: I still think an unwound paperclip needs to be stuck somewhere, something’s jammed.
WereBear
Love the image. Me and a friend are HUGE Jason fans… I haven’t felt for a martial artist like this since Bruce Lee.
SiubhanDuinne
@Hal:
Oh thanks. I guess I did hear it. So funny I forgot to laugh.
jwb
Who the hell on the Romney campaign team thought it was a good idea to leak this? I swear his campaign is so incompetent they are going to convince Mitt that dropping an N-clang would be a good way to knock Obama off his game.
James E. Powell
From now till the debate, every reporter in America should be working their sources to get somebody somewhere to leak the zingers.
Also too, doesn’t this ‘rehearsing zingers’ story seem like a plant, a smoke screen? My guess/prediction is that Romney is going to go all in on a “I’m a nice guy, I care, I love my country” performance act. He needs a Checkers Speech, not another line of attacks.
And as for attacks, I’ve solicited commenters here and elsewhere to say what they thing are the best three lines of attack that Romney might use. Not one proposed is one that hasn’t already been used. Other than “the president is a black man who will give all your tax money to other black men,” what has been working for them?
different-church-lady
OBAMA: “And that is why we need comprehensive banking reform.”
ROMNEY: “Love your body, Larry.“
jwb
@James E. Powell: That and Obama’s preferred mode is counterpunching. You don’t want to be attempting zingers on an effective counterpuncher. You’re likely to find it rebounding right back in your face.
Violet
Could it be part of the expectations game. They’re trying to make him look silly and then he looks sober and informed and competent at the actual debate and “Romney looks presidential at debate” becomes the new talking point?
Is that even a possibility? I’m doubtful given his campaign’s piss poor press management up to now, but that seems about the only explanation I could come up with for them saying something like that. Except incompetence.
greenergood
As a woman of the fem-ist persuasion, I may get in trouble for this, but Ann Romney, WHAT are you doing – this is NOT a zinger!
nymag.com/thecut/2012/09/ann-romney-broke-out-her-biker-baby-outfit.html
different-church-lady
@Violet: Go with Occam’s razor on that.
ciotog
Lloyd Bentsen came up with his “You’re no Jack Kennedy” zinger ahead of time, but his staff didn’t freaking leak it to the press.
Also: Bentsen and his boss lost.
ciotog
Lloyd Bentsen came up with his “You’re no Jack Kennedy” zinger ahead of time, but his staff didn’t freaking leak it to the press.
Also: Bentsen and his boss lost.
AA+ Bonds
Again I suggest: just read the transcripts
g
@dmsilev:
Yeah, sounds like Mitt Romney’s going to demonstrate the spontaneity and genuineness that his personality is famous for.
Seriously, all Obama needs to do when a “zinger” rolls out is smile, nod gently, and say, “Well, we’ve all read you had some lines prepared, and I have compliment you on that one. Who wrote it?”
IPJ
Has no one heard of managing expectations before a debate?
Framed as a leak of a lousy strategy, suddenly everyone’s smugly assured of a romp. Romney can then not zing, and people will be forced to admit that he sounded a lot more serious and substantive than they expected.
Liberals should be gravely assuring everyone that Romney will launch his closing argument with American voters at the debate, combining big ideas with strong specifics, all with an easy rapport reminiscent of, yes, Reagan himself. Repeat.
beltane
@Violet: If he tries to appear sober, informed, and competent people are going to be left wondering “What happened to those zingers we were promised?”
What Romney has done is commit an unforced error in the expectations game.
AA+ Bonds
Don’t watch this stuff, don’t hurt yourself like that, watching these two people talk past each other
g
@Nerull: What kind of bonehead announces his plans? Any “Zinger” he gives that is the least bit memorable will be tainted by the association that it took him months to come up with it.
AA+ Bonds
and then people will clap and holler like it is some sort of rodeo
Comrade Jake
“At least I was born in this country!” – Romneyzing
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Violet:
Trouble is, now everybody’s going to be looking for his zingers, and if he doesn’t zing, or attempt to zing, the chickens will cluck about him deciding to drop the zingers, to flip flop again, out of fear. And I strongly think WIllard spends a lot of time thinking about the worst thing people will say about him on TV.
AA+ Bonds
it is like a sick pantomime of question time which is itself a sport
beltane
@greenergood: Halloween is approaching and Ann Romney is showing the spirit of the season by wearing her Elvira suit. Sorry, but there is nothing “biker” about that costume at all.
Violet
@beltane: Yes, you’re right. It’s gotta be that his campaign continues its breathtaking incompetence.
At this point, if you asked his campaign managers buy milk at the store, I’d expect them to come home with orange juice splattered all over the inside of the car.
different-church-lady
ROMNEY: “Professor Obama claims to be black, but he isn’t. You can tell by just looking at him.” (pauses, squints at paper) “Wait, I’m sorry, these appear to be Scott Brown’s zingers.”
Ash Can
OK, lemme get this straight. The stiffest, phoniest, unfunniest, most tone-deaf, most plastic presidential candidate ever is memorizing and rehearsing “zingers” written for him by other people, in an effort to appear humorous, appealing, intelligent, and genuine, in a debate against a sitting president who actually is one of the most humorous, appealing, intelligent, and genuine presidents we’ve ever had.
What could possibly go wrong??
Oh, and @different-church-lady: this wins the thread.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
DougJ, is this one of your areas of interest, I can’t remember. Funny, in any case. Couldn’t happen to a more awful family
ETA: I wish to revise and amend my remarks, there are several families worse than the Graham-Weymouths, the Bushes, the Romneys, the Koch, the Cheneys, the Matalin-Carvilles….
different-church-lady
@greenergood: You know who else wore pleather?
Violet
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Mitt cares more about how he appears and not much about what or how he does.
different-church-lady
@Ash Can: Please put it on the mantle next to the others.
Linda Featheringill
@lamh35:
Debating a person of color:
Oh. I hadn’t thought of that. It will be a different experience. Probably not better or worse but different. So he’s practicing with Portman, hmm?
Villago Delenda Est
@dmsilev:
The irony here is, even if you tell Mittens this, he’ll go ahead and do it anyway, flop, and still think he was fucking brilliant.
Because, as others have pointed out, his courtiers in his bubble thought they were great!
rlrr
Dream scenario: The Obama camp gets a hold of these “zingers” and works every one of them into Obama’s opening statement.
Snarki, child of Loki
Okay, so Matt found an old copy of Mad magazine’s “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions”, and spent the rest of the day huddled in a corner laughing.
Then he came out and told his staff “THIS is what we’ll do for the debate!” Said yes-men staff rolled their eyes, said “Great idea Governor Romney!”, and made a mental note to update their resumes ASAP.
Halfway through the debate, annoyed at not using his ‘zingers’, Romney will turn to Obama and demand that he “ask a stupid question”.
Obama will give Romney a cool look, say “You must have me mixed up with Governor Perry”, and it’ll be all downhill from there.
Ash Can
@different-church-lady: There’s no room. You need to build a trophy case. :)
NobodySpecial
Doesn’t Willard know that Zingers are owned by Hostess, now?
And yeah, the automatic reply – “Oh, is that one of your spontaneous zingers you’ve been memorizing for months? You missed a word.”
Baud
The way this is going, by the third debate, Romney is going to start appearing in blackface.
Comrade Jake
Remember when conservatives tried to come up with their own version of the Daily Show? That’s how funny Mitt’s zingers will be.
Spaghetti Lee
@Linda Featheringill:
Beige is a color!
(Honestly, Obama’s “John Boehner and I have something in common-we’re both people of color” line still cracks me up, almost 4 years later.)
Villago Delenda Est
@different-church-lady:
OK, the earlier Python reference was great, but this one, this one is pure WIN.
On the strength of these two posts, different-church-lady wins the ‘tubes for the day. Please provide a destination for delivery.
Ash Can
@rlrr: LOL
Villago Delenda Est
@beltane:
Committing unforced errors seems to be what Mittens does.
Geoduck
One of them will be a teleprompter joke. You can practically guarantee it.
Villago Delenda Est
I sense the next twitter meme: #Romneyzinger
Baud
@Geoduck:
And Romney will flub the delivery.
Violet
Has this been linked yet (warning: Politico):
Rats deserting a sinking ship. “Not my fault!”
rlrr
@Baud:
The way this is going, by the third debate, Romney is going to start appearing in blackface.
He already tried a spray on tan for Univision interview…
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Villago Delenda Est: started a few hours ago. A few right wing trolls have tried to join in with what they seem to think are devastating apercus.
Amir Khalid
Gee (he said innocently), I wonder if anyone on Mitt’s debate-prep team suggested just taking on Obama over the substance of the issues.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Violet:
“Some admirers” including the authors of the article, or at the very least Vande Hei
dance around in your bones
Why do I get the feeling that this will be like tasty zingers? And Obama will say “Mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down?”
Villago Delenda Est
@dance around in your bones:
“My that was a very flavorful milkshake, Mitt. Where did you get this?”
greenergood
@different-church-lady: No D-C-L, can’t remember who else wore pleather – can’t wait to find out! As far as Mrs Rmoney’s outfit, it just didn’t feel like it fit the Repug wife template, in a BIG way. Not even Ms Palin in 2008 could’ve shown up in that outfit and not been pilloried. Makes no sense now, so why? To distract from the potential lack of Mitt-zingers? Or is she fed up?
Tony J
What a brilliant strategy. As long as Mitt deploys all of his zingers with perfect comedic timing, and Obama forgets that the Romney Campaign already announced they were relying upon a ‘zinger-based’ offensive strategy, the debates should totally propel Mittens into the White House.
I can see that happening. Really. What could possibly go wrong?
Cargo
“You may be a cunning linguist, Mr. President, but you will find I am a master debater!”
different-church-lady
@greenergood:
OK, granted she didn’t actually wear it to the debates…
trollhattan
@Comrade Jake:
My prayer for the weekend: “Lord, please let Dennis Miller prep Willard for the debates. Amen.”
Villago Delenda Est
@Cargo:
A scenery chewing competition between John Lithgow and “Master Thespian” comes to mind.
ACTING!
Jim, Foolish Literalist
all right youse guys, don’t get too cocky, here is an example of the kind of witticisms Willard will be making with
It’s funny, if you also get teleprompter jokes and Ann Coulter
dmsilev
@trollhattan:
“I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: “O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.” And God granted it. ” – Voltaire
KG
This has shades of Al Gore sighing at George Bsh and looking like a prick. The two best zingers I remember are Reagan’s “I knew Thomas Jefferson” and “I will not use my opponent’s youth and inexperience”. What made those effective was that they were confident and self-deprecating. I can’t imagine Romney beng either of the things
Linda Featheringill
One other problem Romney will have is that Obama is a physically graceful person. He can drape himself around one of those tall stools and come off looking like a million bucks. He can stand and look at ease. He can walk around with a mic and seem to be really interacting with the audience.
None of these qualities is necessary to be a good president, of course, but they’re very helpful in a campaign debate.
Frankensteinbeck
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
This sounds like it should be funny, but I have no idea who Valerie Jarrett is or why anyone would think Obama isn’t thoroughly and utterly the president.
dmsilev
Heh:
dmsilev
@Frankensteinbeck: Valerie Jarrett is a long-time associate and now adviser to the Obamas. She has some vague White House job title (Special Assistant to the President or something like that) which basically boils down to “person whose judgement Obama trusts”. That attempted “joke” was trying to imply that Obama is just a figurehead and that the real powers behind the throne are a bunch of shadowy Chicago figures.
It only makes sense if you’re already deep inside the RW bubble, and probably isn’t even funny to those folks.
Elmo
@g:
The game would be motherfucking over.
johnny driftless zone
@different-church-lady: Marx bros. FTW!
dance around in your bones
@Villago Delenda Est:
OK! TOTALLY NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK!
But I kinda hope to see Obama do the baseball bat scene on ol’ Mitt.
Metaphorically speaking, of course.
Linda Featheringill
#mittzingers are fun.
I’m a little crazier than most people think. Like when I was in France… I had a fromage a trois.
Frankensteinbeck
@dmsilev:
Yeah. I keep thinking more about that. They really, really are fighting against an empty chair, an imaginary Obama that bears not even the most cursory similarity to the real one. It’s not just a failed drama skit. It’s not willful misrepresentations of Obama’s policies. The GOP as a whole, leadership and rank and file with very few exceptions, know Obama only as a cartoon negro myth figure and don’t have even a cursory awareness of the real man. They don’t have a distorted view of him. They have a completely made up and imaginary view of him. You might as well change the name and say they think Blover Fumplethorp is president and are campaigning against him.
I mean, we’ve kinda known this, but when you think about it it’s so totally fucked up.
Michael
I actually don’t think his advisors are totally wrong about debates; I ascribe to the Josh Marshall b!tch-slap theory of politics.
The problem is that zingers only really work when they actually serve to humiliate the zinged. It’s a total alpha male thing. And Obama is waaay too unflappable for Mitt’s canned lines. Plus, you know the Pres is going to be getting in his shots, with a wry grin the entire time.
By the end, the combo of Obama’s little insults, plus the ineffectiveness of his own zingers, is going to leave Romney so angry that there will be cartoon jets of steam pouring out of his ears. I predict we will see a flare of that Romney temper, and it will look bad.
Linda Featheringill
More mittzinger:
“…& they said I couldn’t maintain an election!”
greenergood
@different-church-lady: Yeah, but it’s the shoes!! just look at the shoes! Even Madonna would’ve been in doubt! And here ends forever any fashion comment on any women’s apparel from me, forever – till the next time – despite the fact that I’m sartorially challenged …
Capt. Seaweed
The Secret Service codename for Mitt will simply have to be “Zinger”.
suzanne
Has anyone started #mitteomneysdebatezingers on Twitter yet?!
Capt. Seaweed
#MittZingers
Why did Paul Ryan cross the road? To get away from Mitt Romney.
hahahahaha I’m glad I’m not a punchline.
FlipYrWhig
@trollhattan: Oh, lord, Romney trying to do Dennis Miller. “President Obama, your foreign policy is so naive your spokesman should be Karen Valentine.”
SiubhanDuinne
@rlrr:
I want that to happen so hard.
Gex
Okay, MN State Representative Diane Anderson came to my door today with a list of registered voters. When I asked her where she stood on the marriage amendment, she was super proud to have voted to put it on the ballot. I told her we were done here.
Thing is, I just told a Republican with a voter list that I’m not on her side. These days, it would be foolish not to check that I’m STILL registered in a week or so.
Joey Maloney
@jwb: “What do you mean? I said ‘niggardly’!” (Turns to Camera 3, winks)
Joe Buck
If Romney delivers one of his memorized zingers, Obama could immediately respond: good job, Mitt. I read all about this: that must have been one of the “zingers” your staff had you memorize, and you delivered it well. And here’s why it isn’t as clever as you thing it is: (explanation of why Mitt is full of shit goes here).
aimai
@Redshift:
I was thinking more like Precious Moments: big eyed Mitt boys digging their toe in the ground while dreaming of kissing little Ann girls, all in fake china.
aimai
Smiling Mortician
@FlipYrWhig: Did half of your comment disappear, or am I just in the midst of a bad flashback that includes hideously specific 60s-TV references?
PurpleGirl
@greenergood: I wonder if the designer recently listened to Stevie Nicks a whole lot and decided to construct something leather-lace.
The outfit sort of works but I think the buttons are way too large and the necklace should have been a something shorter that you could see. Actually, based on some of the upper income women I knew from work, a younger woman probably couldn’t afford it and someone Ann’s age has the money to buy it. They probably thought it would make her look hip and kewl.
Smiling Mortician
@Joe Buck: Perhaps a better variation on this: the president’s staff should suss out what all of Mitt’s zingers might be (shouldn’t be that hard, actually) so that Obama’s ready to shoot each one down like so many clay pigeons. Fighting bad jokes with good jokes is fun for the whole family. Plus it would make Mitt go all rage-y.
gbear
Very late to the thread, but I hope that one of his zingers is
“Take my wife…
please.”
That one always worked for Milton Burle.
Lojasmo
@JustAnotherBob:
Mark Penn.
Lojasmo
@feebog:
Quoted en toto for the absolute bottom line on this bullshit. Mitt is going to end the first debate with Obama’s shoe all the way past his second sphincter.
Bob In Portland
@blingee: Chuck Todd. How’d he get his job?
Maude
@gbear:
Henny Youngman?
Political Observer
Mitt Romney is going to blow this race wide open on Wednesday night. Obama is easily rattled and smarmy in debates (remember “You’re likeable enough, Hillary?” and “That’s above my paygrade?”). Once Obambi is off his script he’s done.
Remember: Romney won every single primary debate except one.
Nancy Darling
@Political Observer: Why thank you, PO, for that cogent bit of political analysis. It’s called whistling past the graveyard where I live.
Political Observer
Romney is going give Obambi the ass whipping he needs.
gbear
@Maude: Yeah you’re right. It’s more of a Henny Youngman joke. Perfect for Mitt thought.
greenergood
@PurpleGirl: Let’s put it this way: if FLOTUS wore this outfit, the intertubes would be inundated with Repug comments of inappropriateness, look at her bare legs (as opposed to bare arms), black leather, F–k-me heels, she’s really a skank ho, etc. etc. But it’s okay cause Anne’s a white, Mormon wife, so all those wardrobe details are good – she’s just pleasing her husband. Blehhh.
Lojasmo
@beltane:
Commit ALL the unforced errors, Amirite?
raven
~Went to a football and the SEC Track championship broke out!
Lojasmo
@Political Observer:
Please check back in Thursday afternoon.
Dennis SGMM
Delivering prepared zingers still requires a sense of timing and some insight as to when they’d be apropos. Mitt possesses neither. He has been programmed to pop one out whenever he hears a key word. The results will likely be a series of lead balloon nonsequiturs, followed by an embarrassing pause with Mittster grinning in self-congratulation.
CaptainHaddock
Hey Obama, the ocean called; they’re running out of shrimp.
Obama, the Jerk Store called, and they’re running out of you!
Obama, I had sex with your wife!
Ziiinnnngggg!
Capt. Seaweed
@gbear:
ftfy
John O
My fucking dream is to have Mitt fucking Romney deliver some scripted “zingers.”
Once things break down after one flops, he’ll malfunction into a complete moron.
I’m calling at least the first debate an official drinking night.
wasabi gasp
Romney is gonna wow the crowd. He’s letting us know that he is fully prepared to razzle every dazzle and hum all the dingers. He’s gonna kill like ain’t no varmint ever dun seen no BB before this here rootin’ tootin’ animatronic zing machine steps onstage and pulls out all the stop signs. There is a new quip-whipper in town. And his name is Mittens. Ahooga
Villago Delenda Est
@Political Observer:
What color is the sky in your world, dumbshit?
Robbie Weiner
Jerk store!
That’s the line- jerk store!
Stu
“Obambi”? Seriously? Is being this lame, dense and spectacularly unfunny just a common failing, a requirement for entry to the right-wing douchecanoe club or do you wankers actually breed for it?
Amir Khalid
@Dennis SGMM:
This is why I find the zinger tactic particularly boneheaded. You need a candidate who can execute it, and Mitt is obviously not that guy. Poor execution is only going to make Mitt look like the fool, not Obama. And worst of all, if Mitt flubs a zinger and then stands there thinking he’s landed one on Obama, his supporters will be face-palming and whimpering “Sweet Jesus” all night.
Dennis SGMM
One phrase: Rope a dope.
raven
@efgoldman: Go Cats! Beat those Cocks!
James E. Powell
Obama will play it totally cool not just because it is his nature, but because humiliating a white man on TV will provoke complaints of arrogance, i.e., uppity, much like Al Gore’s sighs.
On the off chance that Romney really damages himself, will they call of the remaining debates, or make him do them anyway?
Tokyokie
What has Mitt done during this campaign to make anybody believe that he can effectively execute this strategy?
Uncle Cosmo
I presume there’s going to be a live audience for the debate. Then all Obama has to do is zing Mitt once, well & truly enough to provoke a burst of laughter from the audience. Self-important entitled assholes like 3rd-world dictators & vulture capitalists cannot stand being laughed at–& if it happens live in front of a nationwide TV audience, he will explode & implode all at once.
Tripod
@dmsilev:
Has anyone kept a count of the reboots? The RMoney campaign is more unstable than Windows 95.
MikeJ
@James E. Powell: It’s also easier to step back and not hammer your opponent when there’s such a high probability that he’ll humiliate himself. Obama’s best strategy may be to stand back and let Mitt be Mitt.
greenergood
@James E. Powell: OHHHH yes
Lojasmo
@Gex:
When I voted in the primary, I found I was not registered. Thank goodness, we still have same day registration. VOTE NO!
raven
Goddamn! Cats up 10 and just recovered a horrible snap in the redzone!
Smiling Mortician
@James E. Powell: You think it’s really just an off chance? I’m pretty much counting on it.
Cacti
No matter how poorly Romney does, corporate media will try to declare him the winner.
They tried to do the same thing with McCain, but shot themselves in the foot with the real-time polling.
John O
@Tripod:
That was my nickname in HS.
raven
@James E. Powell: So Obama has to goo easy on the honkie mormon motherfucker like Biden did on that Moose Bitch?
Baud
Someone please tell me that Raw Story is a parody site like The Onion:
raven
@efgoldman: Yea, I axed for one before I went to the game.
dance around in your bones
Aw, poor PO-POO platter. Spilling all his talking points, and nobody listens.
Cacti
@Uncle Cosmo:
And Mitt gets knocked off his game when his self-narrative gets zinged.
Remember Gnewt and the “pious baloney” quip?
danielx
Um…right. Mittens has all the humanity and comic delivery ability of a cigar store Indian, so I’m sure this will work out well. I’m having a vision of the Romneybot blurting out punchlines at random during a discussion of Middle East politics…
@Tripod:
I hear what you’re saying, but must disagree. Nothing is more unstable than Windows 95, with the possible exception of nitroglycerine.
different-church-lady
@Political Observer:
Fixed that for you.
SiubhanDuinne
@Political Observer:
Oh PO, you are just adorbs! I just want to take your cute little pink cheeks and pinch them and squeeze them until you gurgle with delight.
Now, time for jammies, sippy-cup, and beddy-bye!
PurpleGirl
@greenergood: That is true.
Texas Dem
I may be missing something here, but isn’t it incredibly stupid to leak your debate strategy to the New York freakin’ Times? Don’t campaigns generally go to great lengths to keep the press away from debate prep, so that the opponent not only doesn’t know how prepared you are, but what you’re going to say?
And while we’re on this subject, why in the hell have the Romney surrogates been telling reporters how much time Romney has devoted to debate prep? All that does is raise expectations. I thought you were supposed to LOWER expectations, not RAISE them.
What am I missing here???
Joeyess
That’s the whole point to the Chuck Todds of the world, isn’t it?
Yutsano
@efgoldman: I thought he left a note, but maybe not.
Cacti
@Texas Dem:
That the Romney campaign is amateur hour?
Baud
@efgoldman:
Thanks. Horrible regardless of the reason, but I hope they find out it’s not tied to politics.
PurpleGirl
@Baud: Sorry, it’s a real story. I saw it someplace else, but forget where. The man really was sick.
gnomedad
@Bokonon:
Outsourced to Bibi.
raven
@Texas Dem: A thousand post thread on this that is already up?
danielx
@Political Observer:
And winning debates against that collection of dipshits (religious fanatics, grifters and idiots) was certainly a major challenge.
Cacti
Political Derp is surprisingly quiet.
C’mon and dance for us little monkey. Earn those nickels.
Villago Delenda Est
@Lojasmo:
Oh, I can pretty much guarantee after Obama kicks the Mittbot’s ass clear to fucking Trantor that he’ll be very, very scarce around here on Thursday.
Dennis SGMM
@danielx:
Windows ME.
dance around in your bones
@efgoldman: Just call him Poo-Poo platter like I did ;)
(We used to go to this great restaurant in SD that had a delicious Poo-Poo Platter appetizer plate, so I am no doubt besmirching the name.)
Mike in NC
Fucking zingers, how do they work?
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Cacti:
proof that everyone, no matter how useless year in and year out, has a purpose in our grand human ecosystem. And in the next debate, Willard punched back with “Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone said in these debates what they say on the campaign trail?”
schrodinger's cat
@greenergood: That outfit is hideous, and those lace shoes just look bizarre. And the explosion of pink and yellow with black strappy sandals. No. Ann may be it is time to hire a stylist.
Villago Delenda Est
@efgoldman:
That’s probably it. He keeps coming back under different nyms…he inevitably crosses one of Cole’s lines, and gets banned…then, like a bad penny, shows up again under a new nym with the same unmistakable style.
jeffreyw
@Villago Delenda Est: Do you have a Foundation for your surmise?
scav
So, the Mittster is going to come out of the Cage like a wildcat?! But how will he still be ladylike and project confidence if he does?
MikeJ
@Villago Delenda Est:
No, he’ll be here saying Mitt won even if Obama made him cry. Reality and Republicans don’t mix.
Dennis SGMM
Gee, person would almost suspect that they had to program the Mittbot with pre-scripted zingers because he’s too fucking incurious and self-absorbed to be capable of debating the issues.
Aside: Is anyone else here old enough to remember the Dudley Do-Right episode wherein Snidely Whiplash replaces Dudley with a robot version? The robot repeats two phrases throughout, no matter what the circumstances:
“Good afternoon Inspector Fenwick. Hello Nell.”
and
“It’s Tommy this and Tommy that,
And chuck him out, the brute.
But he’s the savior of his country
When the guns begin to shoot.”
Applejinx
I just hope Romney is fool enough to interrupt President Obama.
He’ll walk right into this…
…works on so many levels…
James E. Powell
@raven:
Yes. Is it fair or rational? No. But this is still, after all, the United States of ‘Murica.
The Republic of Stupidity
OMG… if I EVER saw a Wiley Coyote moment coming… it’s gonna be this one…
How can hijinx and hilarity NOT ensue?
Villago Delenda Est
@jeffreyw:
I have a Second Foundation for it!
Dennis SGMM
@Villago Delenda Est:
I saw what you did there.
Viva BrisVegas
I was trying to recall why this was so familiar. It’s from a Marilyn Munroe movie called “Let’s Make Love”. A stiff clueless billionaire is trying to woo Marilyn and to make him look good he hires a bunch of comedy writers like Milton Berle to give him guaranteed zingers. Which he then proceeds to deliver like dead fish despite having practiced them on his long suffering aides.
Who knew Mitt was a Marilyn Munroe fan?
lacp
@SiubhanDuinne: Isn’t PO’s sweaty interracial dominence fantasy a tad out of place here?
LanceThruster
@Dennis SGMM:
Mitt will have all the comic timing of Muscle Man from The Regular Show.
You know who else likes redistribution? My mom!
Peter
Shorter GOP debate strategy: “We’re going to bet EVERYTHING on Mitt’s charisma.”
Have fun with that, you clowns.
RedKitten
I’m starting to wonder if Romney’s new strategy is to appear so hapless and pathetic that people start voting for him out of sheer pity.
handy
Romney: “I’d like to respond to that question with one of my own to the president: ‘Who let the dogs out?”
different-church-lady
@dance around in your bones:
Woman, please: “pu pu”
dance around in your bones
@different-church-lady: Oh gawd, you’re so right – I guess it WAS Pu-Pu Platter.
Wait, what was I talking about?
CW in LA
@Political Observer:
Delusional AND creepy! Why are you trolling web sites instead of running for office? You ARE today’s Rethug party!
CW in LA
@Texas Dem:
That doesn’t work with Willard The Walking Unforced Error either. You can say you’ll consider it a triumph if he doesn’t shit himself on stage. Then he’ll go out and shit, piss, and puke all over himself.
Of course, the press will still try and spin it as a win.
MikeF
Debates are mostly a side show at this point. There is IMO one scenario to worry about, and it is a massive equities sell-off sparked by some Euro shitstorm (Grexit, Spain not getting bailed out as expected, German IP nose-diving, etc.). Not at all likely at this point with the recent uncharacteristic sanity of Euro policy-makers, but if it happened then voters having flashbacks to 2008 could conceivably throw it to Romney. Even then it would be close though.
different-church-lady
@CW in LA: What makes you think he’s not doing both?
Thymezone
Chuck Todd is a giant poenis.
Thymezone
Chuck Todd is a giant penIs.
Thymezone
?
Thymezone
Chuck Todd is a giant pee nuss.
SqueakyRat
@Capt. Seaweed: Ripostes, not reposts. Sorry.
SqueakyRat
@Thymezone: If only.
Another Halocene Human
@different-church-lady: ROMNEY: “Professor Obama claims to be black, but he isn’t. You can tell by just looking at him.” (pauses, squints at paper) “Wait, I’m sorry, these appear to be Scott Brown’s zingers.”
WIN.
Misterpuff
@Disraeli: Mr Romney, I’m not saying we wouldn’t get our hair mussed!
Romney: Then we better find a better plan. I owe it all to my studly ‘do.
Misterpuff
@Disraeli: Mr Romney, I’m not saying we wouldn’t get our hair mussed!
Romney: Then we better find a better plan. I owe it all to my studly ‘do.
xian
@Spaghetti Lee: well Portman made it clear he’s been attacking Mitt as an uncaring plutocrat and getting under his skin. Have they ever watched Obama? He leaves that stuff to surrogates. He’ll fillet Mitt without Mitt even realizing it.
Captain C
@wrb: Hmmm…this may be, as the lawyerly types might say, “assuming facts not in evidence.”
deering
@Frankensteinbeck: @Dennis SGMM:
No love for Vista?