I was so tired tonight, I went to bed a while ago and immediately fell asleep without noticing the bedtime rituals of the animals. I just woke up, and noticed there was a lump missing. Why was Lily not right next to me curled up in a ball in my armpit? I yelled, and nothing. I started panicking- did she choke on the treat I gave her. I got out of bed, went to the back sliding door, and there was a very distraught and desperate Lily, standing up on her hind legs with her front paws on the glass.
I feel like the worst person on the planet. I think I finally understand the people who put their kid in the back seat and drive to work but forget to drop them off at day care. Although I did get mad doggy loving when I let her in, so I have that going for me.
Bob In Portland
We are all sinners. Forgive yourself.
MoeLarryAndJesus
If Being Too Hard On Yourself was an Olympic event you’d win a gold medal, Cole.
Calm the fuck down.
Violet
Awww…poor Lily! All alone outside. But you didn’t really forget her–that’s why you woke up in the first place, you subconscious knew you needed to let her in.
All that mad partying got you tuckered out, huh?
Triassic Sands
Forgive him? Never. It’s become obvious that John Cole does not care about Lily. I’ve forwarded his post to the ASPCA for action.
DPS
Sometimes it’s just really important to choose words carefully.
freemark
I did that once with my yellow lab Sammy about 19 years ago now. She’s passed away 3 years ago. I still feel guilty.
Yutsano
She still luvs you JC. Dogs are extremely forgiving animals. Just thank your stars it wasn’t Tunch. You wouldn’t be breathing now.
YellowJournalism
I let the dog outside on a hot day, not realizing our back gate was open and then forgot to check on her before putting my son down for a nap. I was six months pregnant with a toddler in tow looking all over the neighbourhood for her. When I got back an hour later, the next door neighbour helped me unload my son from the car and told me my sweet little puppy-gal had come back ten minutes after I’d left. She was hot and tired from a quick run, so the neighbour gave her water and locked her in our yard.
Of course, that was nothing compared to the day I locked my son and my keys in the car while out of town. I didn’t realize my son had grabbed the keys from me as I buckled him in. This all happened within two months of each other, while pregnant, so the guilt and hormones were overwhelming! Both incidents ended in cuddles and cool drinks.
YellowJournalism
@Yutsano: nah, Tunch would have found a way to claw into a door.
trollhattan
Lily:
“Ooh, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in…hey, hi, how are ya?!?”
Also, too, “Squirrel!”
You can’t erase years of lovin’ with a single slip-up. It’s not how they roll & reason 2,156 why we keep them in our lives.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@trollhattan: even cats forget about such things pretty quickly, for the most part.
trollhattan
Also, also, too, Willard is a worse dad.
Just sayin’.
Suzie
The best and worst things about doggies is that they will forgive you just about anything.
You are the BEST DADDY IN THE WORLD. Your little ones believe that. Believe it yourself!!
Hugs <3
jl
Cute story. Thanks for no early morning fright conspiracy posts today. I put my hands in front of my eyes and peeked around until I saw that this one would not scare me.
Her’s what you do. Forty Hail Mary’s, one thousand bows, and then get up and repent in front of the congregation and let the preacherman throw out the demon. Then two aspirin, stiff drink, and call the shrink in the morning. Help some old people across the street tomorrow, but make sure they want it first lest they kick you where the hairs are short.
We’ll get Cole whole, one way or the other.
I thought Cole was getting some goats and generator. That would be the next step after Cole redeems himself. A little self reliance will improve him.
Edit: Maybe Cole should get pigs. They are very smart, and will figure out how to get around his mistakes. Fix it themselves. They’ll be running the place pretty soon, and Cole can relax for once.
YellowJournalism
@The prophet Nostradumbass: Cats never forget, you do! That’s why you never connect that slimy furball in your shoe with the time you bought off-brand cat chow and kitty litter.
@trollhattan: Yeah, nothing beats roof-top-diarrhea car ride as an entry for the Worst Doggy Dad of the Century Award.
Yutsano
@YellowJournalism: Oh no doubt. But the hairless ape would still be punished.
Beauzeaux
If Being Too Hard On Yourself was an Olympic event you’d win a gold medal, Cole.
This +++
trollhattan
@Yutsano:
Reasonable people can agree Fat Freddie’s Cat is the Tunch prototype.
https://www.thcfarmer.com/community/threads/fat-freddys-cat-1-the-freak-brothers.24116/
Spaghetti Lee
Dogs are not resentful creatures in my experience. So if you find some poop on your bed again in the near future, don’t assume she’s getting revenge.
suzanne
Oh, Cole. That’s NOTHING. I accidentally left the baby in the car once and walked into a store, leaving the car in the parking lot. (The elder child was being a total pain in the ass and distracting me while driving, and when I got out of the car, she tackled me. In all this commotion, I forgot to grab the baby.) She was only in there for like two minutes by herself, and it was a sixty-degree day, but I was SO TERRIFIED, and just thinking about it makes me want to throw up.
I angered one of the cats in some way this weekend, because one of them took a shit right in the middle of my closet. I probably deserve it. Hell, see the anecdote above. I DEFINITELY deserve it.
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
Hell, John, every dog owner has done something like this at least once. And we never forget them, either, like that time we left Dusty outside all night. In 1969.
Cut yourself some slack, since Lily already has.
Death Panel Truck
Umm…she knows how to bark, right? If I leave my cocker outside, the li’l bastid has a way of letting me know about it.
Villago Delenda Est
You are not the worst dad in the world.
Barack Obama is.
BECAUSE SHUT UP, THAT’S WHY!
MaxxLange
You want to find out who your best friend is? Lock your girlfriend and your dog in the trunk of the car. Then, let them out. Which one is really glad to see you?
notoriousJRT
Once while on a working bender I literally forgot to drop my JRT off for a weekend day at daycare. He is not a vocal Jack and never made a peep as I got out of the car for a long work day (i crate him for transport). He was also silent when I got back in the car to go home. So I did not come to until I was on the road and thinking, “Boy, the car sure smells like dog.” I freaked out and began apologizing as I pulled the car over. Luckily, he was ok, but I cried all the way home. I was so mad that exhaustion & work stress had turned me into a burnt out pet abuser. My boy didn’t hold it against me or seek revenge in a fit of post-traumatic separation anxiety. But, he is easier on me than I am on myself; I still hate thinking about it and how lucky I was that it was a mild day when I forgot him…
LesGS
So, 8 weeks ago this upcoming Wednesday, one of my elder daughter’s friends was taking a walk. She heard a kitten yelling, followed the sound, and found two kittens, just hours old, in a car’s back seat. The car windows were partly open, we figure momma kitty had a litter there and then figured out it wasn’t the best place for her brood, and got interrupted moving them out, leaving this little brother and sister behind.
The car owners wanted nothing to do with them, so she took them. Both working and taking classes, her schedule was tight that day, so she called my younger daughter, who was out of school for the summer, to ask her if she could tend for them that day.
Long story short, my daughter and I have spent the last seven and a half weeks bringing up “the babbies,” who the vet gave a 20% chance of survival. The young woman who found them actually moved into a new place that allows pets so she could keep them.
So she collected them tonight and took them home with her, which is wonderful and was the plan, but at 8 weeks the kittens are really, really fun and snuggly and adorable. So my daughter is happy, but a bit weepy, and, gorram it, I’m gonna miss ’em too.
Another Halocene Human
My cat is hissing and growling at nothing. I don’t even see an insect. The lights are on and she hasn’t even bitten my ankle so it’s not directed at me.
Cats.
Another Halocene Human
btw, Cole, pics or it didn’t happen
seriously, though, let’s have some Lily pix.
Another Halocene Human
@Spaghetti Lee: That’s the difference between cats and dogs, right there.
Joey Maloney
Classic abused child behavior. Someone call DCS.
portlander
The thing about dogs:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/dog_paradox
Anatoliĭ Lъudьvigovich Bzyp (Mumphrey, et al.)
@Villago Delenda Est:
I’ve wondered for a while what “villago delenda est” means. The best I can work out is “The town is destroyed” or something like that, only “villago” and “delenda” don’t agree. I didn’t have much luck looking it up on the world wide web, and it’s too late to go find the Latin-English dictionary…
Gian
I’ve always thought it was a riff off of this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carthage_must_be_destroyed
The prophet Nostradumbass
Did any of you see the Schwarzenegger segment on 60 Minutes? I didn’t think he could assassinate his own character more than he already had, but goddamn, he did.
Suffern ACE
@The prophet Nostradumbass: I’ve heard. I wonder if this is part of the divorce settlement. Arnold gets to keep the hummers if he allows Maria to write the questions and answers to a 60 minutes interview
Gian
@The prophet Nostradumbass:
the good folk of california voted for him after they knew he was a serial groper/abuser of hollywood status.
I do think that he has a part of him that isn’t a total asshole, he tried sooo hard to have a GOPish anti-gay marriage answer when in his own office he presided, and performed a gay/lesbian marriage. to hear right wing raadio here in cali the dude has horns and a tail.
I think he’s part of a nearly extinct breed – the mythical north east rocafella republican.
was he a good governor – no – was he better than meg whitman would’ve been, I think so
BarbCat
@Gian:
“was he better than meg whitman would’ve been, I think so”.
The question is, was he better than Gray Davis and the answer is no.
Narcissus
@Another Halocene Human: Cats can see dead people
Fuck ALL the chickens! (né Studly Pantload, t.e.u.u.)
Aw. Just tonight, I picked up the Mrs. (who is otherwise in so many ways the bestest mommy a cat could ask for in this world) from her job and dropped her off at home before going to the store. When I came back, there was our Maybea kitty on the porch, waiting to be let back in, having snuck herself under her mom’s feet out the front door; the thing being, our kitties are so totes not outdoor kities – even where we live, just a mile or two outside downtown Seattle, at night there are racoons, possums, and predatory owls.
So, it happens to all of us.
Fuck ALL the chickens! (né Studly Pantload, t.e.u.u.)
@jl: Missing requisite lime in coconut.
=o )
redshirt
In Barack Obama’s America, Government thugs will tell you how to manage your pets and if you fail their guide lines, they’ll seize all your pets and place them in Obama retraining camps.
Tis true! I read it on the Internet.
raven
We go to a great bakery every morning. About a year after we adopted Lil Bit my bride was out of town and I called to wake her up while the pups did their usual rooting around the patio for goodies. I hung up and the little girl was gone. This was around 7:30am on a weekday and the joint is close to campus so traffic was building. Bohdi is pretty smart and would have some sense but LB is dumb as a sack of hammers and would run in front of a speeding train if she saw what she thought was a morsel of food. I started run walking all over trying to find her. Other people joined in but that made me more panicked because I was afraid she might bolt into traffic if someone she didn’t know them. After about 30 minutes my cell rang and it was my vet. Some construction workers who live a couple of blocks away found her and called. I ran over there and when I saw her in the guys arms I totally lost it. I was sure she was a goner and could not stop crying. These guy we great and just said, “yea, we love our dogs too”. I see them every now and then when we are walking home and I always give them the big wave.
JPL
@LesGS: You should get visitation rights. What a sweet story.
Anne Laurie
@Anatoliĭ Lъudьvigovich Bzyp (Mumphrey, et al.):
Just in case you check back (& VDE doesn’t), Gian is right, it’s a riff on Cato meaing “The (Media) Village must be destroyed”…. for the survival of our our republic.
raven
@Anne Laurie: What the hell does this mean and why is this word filtered????????>?
WereBear
@Another Halocene Human: Cats see and hear and sense things we don’t because they have supersenses compared to us.
@LesGS: Awwwwwwww! We fostered a three week old bean, and got to keep him. Now he’s a two year old puma-looking thing, he’s so big.
You should have visitation.
J.D. Rhoades
Forgive yourself.
Lily has. I guarantee it.
Stentor
I have the same reaction everytime I forget to put fresh water into Sneakers’ water bowl. He has this metal bowl because it’s better for them, but it’s so shiny that it produces an optical illusion of there being water in the bowl, when in fact it’s empty when you look closer. Add to this the fact that I have adult ADD, & I get distracted easily. Sometimes I come home after being gone for awhile, or notice that some hours have gone by, & he didn’t have any fresh water. I tell myself that I’m the worst Dad in the world, but as I type this, he’s curled up next to me in bed sound asleep. I like to think that I make up for it by petting him when he has a bad dream & starts jerking around. Hopefully my petting him means I appear in the dream & soothe him, or proceed to kick the ass of whatever’s terrifying him. Either way, when he stops jerking & starts purring, I feel better.
Cranky and Paranoid
You’re only human, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up over one mistake. That said, I’m glad you and Lily were luckier than Kevin Drum and Inkblot were.
kc
Well, you know what they say. Lock your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car for a few hours. Then observe which one is happy to see you when you open the trunk.
Jay
Pets aren’t kids…
Aaron Baker
Children–both bipedal and quadrupedal–are very forgiving.
J R in WV
Also too, I don’t think a dog can choke on anything. Maybe a Moose ball or a pig knuckle, but a treat? Nah! No way.
We put the dogs out in the evening, and they make a whole lot of noise at first, and then it gets quiet. They run off the back porch into the woods. The cats usually go out around 4 am, or whenever I get up in the middle of the night. Yes, there are raccoons and owls… but a possum would have no chance, even with the cats.
We let the dogs in and out when they ask us to, They can come right up to the slider in the bedroom. They like being able to operate the door automatically, just by asking.
NCSteve
That’s the real difference between dogs and cats. If you, say, close the door to the linen closet unaware that a cat has zipped in under your feet like a tiny stealth fighter and curled herself up for a blissful snooze in the malodorous pile of joy that is that 35 year old sleeping bag you can never seem to throw away because of fond associations, and you come home ten hours later to hear her howling, when you let her out, after she gets back from the litter box and a quick gorge at the food bowl, she’s going to have words for you. It was her own damn fault, but it’s your job to protect her from her own stupidity and she knows it and wants you to know she knows. So you can have that argument over responsibility for the event with her and sleep the sleep of the rightous.
But if you, say, leave your dog out all day in the rain, when you come home, discover your error and let her in, she’s going to give you ecstatic kissy face love and be overwhelmingly grateful to you for letting her in, drying her off and even feeding her. Which, of course, will make you feel like a total shit for days.
The Moar You Know
@BarbCat: Davis didn’t have the good sense to see what most everyone else in California could; that he was a marked man and the GOP was going to get his illegitimate Democrat ass out of office any way that they could. He was not the best or brightest governor that we’ve ever had.
Arnold was better than Issa would have been. You know Issa’s the jerk who funded the recall in order to put himself into the mansion in Sacramento, right?
Tractarian
Huh? There are people like that? Are they all on bath salts?
Also too, I’d rather not hear about your mad doggie lovin’. Mmmmkay, thx.
shortstop
Lily needs to find her bark mojo! So did Norm, our much-loved late dog, who spent four hours on the doormat once without letting out a peep. We’d come back from a walk and marched inside without him.
We are all idiots. They are all models of forgiveness.
Cathie from Canada
After one awful evening when I forgot for two hours that the dog was outside — and it was 20 below that night — I trained myself to always turn on the back door inside light EVERY SINGLE TIME the dog is out, day or night.
Dogs are so forgiving, aren’t they.
KDUN
As a parent, I’m always a little dubious when animal owners think they “know” what parents go through based on what happens to their pets. But I will say this, John – what you describe is NOTHING like forgetting to drop your kid off at daycare. That’s just a hassle. Realizing you’ve left a pet outside in the cold at night is more like what happened to my wife a year or so ago – which was loading the little one into the back seat, driving down the road and having a little two-year-old voice from the back seat pipe up with, “Mommy, are you wearing your seatbelt?”
“Yes I am, honey – why?”
“Because I’m not.”
She’d put her in the car seat and forgotten to strap her in. She STILL beats herself up about it to this day.
Paul in KY
@Another Halocene Human: Oh, there’s probably an insect. Just one so small you don’t notice it.
Paul in KY
@Anatoliĭ Lъudьvigovich Bzyp (Mumphrey, et al.): It is supposed to mean ‘The Village must be destroyed’ (I think).
Jess
@Anatoliĭ Lъudьvigovich Bzyp (Mumphrey, et al.):
The village must be destroyed. It’s a takeoff on how Cicero used to end his speeches, stating “Carthage must be destroyed!”
Jess
I accidentally locked my Ridgeback mix out in the cold, and an hour later was wondering whose dog was yelping up a storm. He forgave me, but yeah…the guilt’s a killer!
BarbCat
@The Moar You Know: Blech, yes, I know Issa. My inner car alarm goes off every time I see him in his leathers.
Ahnold did everything they ousted Davis for along with more bad and less good. Gray’s mistake was appearing to be a weak man and fulfilling that appearance when threatened. As the Mr. called it at the time, “being Gray.”
JMS
Two kids later, I still don’t understand how one can forget a kid in the car (mine are now old enough to get out on their own if they’re forgotten). But…I did leave the cat out all night once by accident. It’s not really the same.