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You are here: Home / He’s so fine

He’s so fine

by DougJ|  October 11, 201211:45 am| 144 Comments

This post is in: Green Balloons

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Make it stop.

When TIME named Paul Ryan a runner-up in last year’s Person of the Year issue, many were familiar with his proposed budget, but few knew that the Wisconsin congressman stayed fit with the now-best selling P90X workout plan. (Ryan’s father and grandfather died of heart attacks.) In fact, it was Ryan’s fitness regime (and Herculean strength on all things fiscal) that inspired the workout-themed sitting for the Person of the Year; those portraits, photographed by Gregg Segal, appear in this week’s issue.

Update. Soonergrunt just sent me some pure awesome:

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Reader Interactions

144Comments

  1. 1.

    Pooh

    October 11, 2012 at 11:48 am

    That pic says “30 minutes or less” to me.

  2. 2.

    Woodrowfan

    October 11, 2012 at 11:48 am

    A tongue-bath like that will set you back a couple hundred in Vegas, and Ryan’s getting it for free!

  3. 3.

    robo

    October 11, 2012 at 11:50 am

    Well that ought to lock up the douchebag gymrat demographic.

    And turn that fucking hat around.

  4. 4.

    David in NY

    October 11, 2012 at 11:50 am

    That’s how he ran that under-three-hour marathon, I guess.

  5. 5.

    SatanicPanic

    October 11, 2012 at 11:50 am

    He’s a dead ringer for Ernest P Worrell

  6. 6.

    Summer

    October 11, 2012 at 11:50 am

    But he looks like a total poser dork. And really old. The baseball cap backwards does not become him.

  7. 7.

    kindness

    October 11, 2012 at 11:50 am

    They hate gays but they love them some hot conservative beefcakes.

    He isn’t my type. No tingle up my leg sorry. Of course, I didn’t get it from Sarah Palin either. Maybe I’m just not wired for Republican poster children.

  8. 8.

    Judas Escargot, Acerbic Prophet of the Mighty Potato God

    October 11, 2012 at 11:51 am

    What.

    The Fuck.

  9. 9.

    David

    October 11, 2012 at 11:53 am

    File under “dumbbells.”

  10. 10.

    Soonergrunt

    October 11, 2012 at 11:53 am

    He looks like he’s trying to be Chachi for Halloween.

  11. 11.

    hildebrand

    October 11, 2012 at 11:53 am

    Not sure that picture is actually going to do him any favors. That picture is worth only one word: Dork.

  12. 12.

    Hill Dweller

    October 11, 2012 at 11:54 am

    The Republican party is mostly repressed, closeted, angry, gay white men.

  13. 13.

    R-Jud

    October 11, 2012 at 11:54 am

    @SatanicPanic:

    He’s a dead ringer for Ernest P Worrell.

    This.

    To me, the worst part is that he was photographed doing bicep curls– the most pointless weightlifting exercise out there.

  14. 14.

    lamh35

    October 11, 2012 at 11:54 am

    Gawd I hate to link to Dave Weigel (I think he’s a douche), but this article on Biden is a good one. Seriously, ANY VPDEBATE WORRYWART, STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND READ THIS

    Can Joe Biden Save Barack Obama? People are underestimating the veep. They shouldn’t

    Today’s vice presidential debate makes us glad of one thing. The phony, irritating, made-for-Twitter era pre-fight “expectation-setting” is over. Republicans won’t even pretend that Joe Biden’s synapses still crackle. On Wednesday, after a modest amount of Internet buzz over a Ryan interview that ended poorly, the Romney campaign compared Ryan’s local TV schedule with Biden’s failure to do any national TV hits since he endorsed gay marriage back in May. The Weekly Standard gave anonymity to a “Republican source,” who gloated that “Joe Biden gets used by the Obama Campaign like Bernie from ‘Weekend at Bernie’s.’
    If Romney-Ryan tried to praise the veep, who would believe them? The three funniest syllables in any GOP stump speech are “Joe Biden.” The titters start at the mention of his name; they continue as some Republican quotes his latest “gaffe.” Back in the summer, American Crossroads blew some of its bottomless cash reserves on a Web video compilation of Biden missteps, thanking Obama for keeping Biden on the ticket. (The idea that Biden wouldn’t be on the ticket was a classic, baseless August political story.)
    According to Pew, only 34 percent of people expect Biden to beat Paul Ryan tonight, even though they barely know who Ryan is. Only 39 percent of these voters actually like the president. I’m not even sure that the “Bernie” joke is wrong. When I last asked the Obama campaign for Biden access, I was told that the veep’s plane was small and filled—literally, man—with traveling press.
    So Biden enters the ring underrated, and Ryan enters it as a mystery. That’s obviously good for Biden. Ryan has outmatched mostly hapless Democrats in the eight debates he has competed in for his thoroughly safe House seat. Biden has lost two presidential primaries—one gracefully, one with maximum pain and humiliation—and coasted through some debates for his U.S. Senate seat. After spending some time with the Biden tapes, I’m convinced he’s being undervalued. He has a skill that now evades Barack Obama. He comes off like he actually cares about politics and wants to keep his job. And he’s gotten much better with time…

    Do yourselves a favor and read the whole thing.

  15. 15.

    schrodinger's cat

    October 11, 2012 at 11:55 am

    Is he modeling for Detrol?

  16. 16.

    Butch

    October 11, 2012 at 11:55 am

    FSM preserve us from a vice presidential candidate who wears his hat backyards, apparently just before he meets his bros to pound down some PBRs, if the picture is any indication. Some sites are actually describing these photos as “beefcake.” Barf.

  17. 17.

    Epicurus

    October 11, 2012 at 11:55 am

    I’m just waiting patiently for Biden to make mincemeat of this ironhead. Unfortunately, I had the same hopes for the Presidential candidates’ debate. I don’t really think Joe B. is going to be “too polite.” We shall see…also, too, Go Yankees!

  18. 18.

    Keith

    October 11, 2012 at 11:56 am

    With the backwards ballcap, he looks kinda like Lincoln Hawk’s son in Over The Top.

  19. 19.

    The Moar You Know

    October 11, 2012 at 11:56 am

    I saw him yesterday driving around PB in a jacked-up pickup truck screaming “man the harpoons” every time he saw a fat chick.

    Somebody who looked just like him, anyway.

  20. 20.

    David in NY

    October 11, 2012 at 11:58 am

    @R-Jud: “bicep curls” Why pointless?

  21. 21.

    Lurking Canadian

    October 11, 2012 at 11:58 am

    I notice the conspicuous earbuds. Is he still pretending to listen to Rage Against the Machine without paying attention to the lyrics?

  22. 22.

    reflectionephemeral

    October 11, 2012 at 11:59 am

    @hildebrand:

    Not sure that picture is actually going to do him any favors. That picture is worth only one word: Dork.

    Yeah, this is what came to mind for me.

  23. 23.

    Violet

    October 11, 2012 at 11:59 am

    They showed the really nice photoshopped pictures of Ryan lifting weights on the Today Show this morning. P0rn for stay-at-home suburban moms.

  24. 24.

    Steve M.

    October 11, 2012 at 11:59 am

    Please tell me this is what a bunch of heterosexual white male GOP consultants think will appeal to Tha Ladiezzz — and please tell me they completely misjudged.

  25. 25.

    schrodinger's cat

    October 11, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    @Steve M.: This does not appeal to me at all, but I am no lady.

  26. 26.

    shortstop

    October 11, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    The expression on his face is so very Gomer Pyle.

  27. 27.

    Judas Escargot, Acerbic Prophet of the Mighty Potato God

    October 11, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    Also just noticed Sullivan’s been moved back to the Mockables list.

    This is a Good Thing.

  28. 28.

    shortstop

    October 11, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    @Steve M.: Remember, they thought we’d love Dan Quayle, too.

  29. 29.

    Brachiator

    October 11, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    @Epicurus:

    I’m just waiting patiently for Biden to make mincemeat of this ironhead. Unfortunately, I had the same hopes for the Presidential candidates’ debate. I don’t really think Joe B. is going to be “too polite.” We shall see

    I also hope that Biden does well. It won’t make much difference though. A radio talk show host was going over past VP debates for big moments. One of the most memorable was when Lloyd Bentsen told Dan Quayle that “you’re no Jack Kennedy.” It was an electric moment that had no effect on the outcome of the presidential election.

  30. 30.

    SatanicPanic

    October 11, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    Maybe everyone already knew this, but I didn’t realize it until I had a child of my own what “say cheese” was about. It’s to get them to show their teeth because they make this same, goofy smile if you don’t.

    ETA- I can’t help it, there’s just so much to mock in this photo. Where was this taken anyway? Sears Portrait Studio?

  31. 31.

    scav

    October 11, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    @Hill Dweller: If so, ones without taste. I’d hide if that was found on my locker door in a non-ironic statement. Someone was having fun letting that photo out into the wild.

  32. 32.

    scav

    October 11, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    Et omit learng new machine here

  33. 33.

    Ben Franklin

    October 11, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    Lots of work to do here. Pencil legs go well with a pencil-neck.

    And didn’t Time make OBL man of the year in 2001?

  34. 34.

    BGinCHI

    October 11, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    @lamh35: Weigel is from Delaware, so I wonder if he’s someone who has followed Biden more closely than the other pundits weighing in on this.

  35. 35.

    bemused

    October 11, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    How can anyone not laugh seeing that photo? He looks like a nerdy college kid who is an Ayn Rand fanboy. I wouldn’t be surprised if that is how he still sees himself now at 42.

  36. 36.

    Richard

    October 11, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    I think he’s a malevolent version of Jughead Jones, from Archie Comics.

    Beefcake? This is the guy who gets sand kicked in his face.

  37. 37.

    Hill Dweller

    October 11, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    In other news, Willard doubled down on the ‘people can go the emergency room if sick’ nonsense. But this time he also claimed people don’t die due to lack of insurance in this country.

  38. 38.

    Comrade Dread

    October 11, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    If we lose to these guys, I am seriously going to think about building my own compound, call it Outside the Asylum and check out.

    Any society that chooses its leaders this way is not a society I can live in and stay sane.

  39. 39.

    Butch

    October 11, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    @David in NY: First, I meant backwards, not backyards….second, some exercise specialists feel that curls aren’t valuable because the bicep isn’t used much in many sports. If, for example, and as I do, you work in an upholstery shop, you will disagree.

  40. 40.

    shortstop

    October 11, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    @Richard:

    I think he’s a malevolent version of Jughead Jones, from Archie Comics.

    Nailed it.

  41. 41.

    YellowJournalism

    October 11, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    Who knew Screech was running for VP?

  42. 42.

    shortstop

    October 11, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    @YellowJournalism: Oooh, that’s good too.

  43. 43.

    mickey g

    October 11, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Marty McFly, Jr. Back to the Future II

  44. 44.

    ding dong

    October 11, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Seriously a cap on backwards? He’s over forty. Maybe if he was thirty. Also, does Mitt have to remind this obstinate child to pull up his shorts so that his sheetstained boxers aren’t visible?

  45. 45.

    srv

    October 11, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Y’all are just jealous of his raw manliness. Strong man with strong ideas, imagine if we had had the opportunity to have a younger Reagan.

  46. 46.

    Ash Can

    October 11, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Did he really approve that photo for publication? That’s the stupidest fucking photo of him I’ve ever seen. Love it.

  47. 47.

    Liberty60

    October 11, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    @Summer: Glad I’m not the only one- He looks like that most repellent of all creatures, the middle aged man trying to look like a 20-something douche.

  48. 48.

    Feudalism Now!

    October 11, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    He is so dreamy, like a modern day Eddie Haskell.

  49. 49.

    R-Jud

    October 11, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    @David in NY: They isolate one muscle group and do not really build strength. They’re a “poser” exercise– all they do is put an aesthetically pleasing “peak” on the bicep that serves no functional purpose. Make an analogy for Ryan’s purpose re the Romney ticket with that info if you wish.

    To be charitable, I will point out that Ryan claims to be a p90x guy, so he is probably doing some actually useful stuff for developing real upper-body strength, such as pull-ups.

  50. 50.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    October 11, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    @kindness: They hate gays but they love them some hot conservative beefcakes.

    That was my thought, only I’d phrased it as “they finally figured out why Palin flopped – didn’t appeal to the closet cases in the Party.”

  51. 51.

    The Moar You Know

    October 11, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    Any society that chooses its leaders this way is not a society I can live in and stay sane.

    @Comrade Dread: The Romans did. That worked out well for them, right?

  52. 52.

    schrodinger's cat

    October 11, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    @shortstop: More like Reggie than Jughead me thinks.

  53. 53.

    WereBear

    October 11, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    Only repressed Wingnuts will swoon over that one. (Of any persuasion.) What an IDIOT.

  54. 54.

    shortstop

    October 11, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat: Reggie ‘tude with Juggie brain.

  55. 55.

    scav

    October 11, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    And look at that uncluttered background, if that’s not begging to join the stream of photos behind block-letter comments. . . I think someone just might be angling to spawn/join a meme, perhaps for proffesional reasons, but if that isn’t begging for text. . .

  56. 56.

    Judas Escargot, Acerbic Prophet of the Mighty Potato God

    October 11, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    @shortstop:
    Spot on.

    Actually, the whole pic looks like it wouldn’t be out of place on the cover of the old TV Guide, as TV heartthrob Paul Ryan poses to push his hot new ABC sitcom: “My Mother, the Moocher.”

    Paul Ryan plays Paul Ryan, a local sportswriter-slash-hardware-store-owner. In the pilot episode, our intrepid hero manages to get the loans he needs to buy the orphanage next door to the store, and kicks them out onto the street so he can grow his business (AND finally build that office-man-cave he’s always wanted).

    Meanwhile, Mrs Ryan (played by Morgan Fairchild) gets a job working the night shift at the local nursing home, and quickly puts those spindly, lazy oldsters to work in the basement gold-farming in World of Warcraft.

    It’s a laugh-a-minute, Middle America. Tune in! It’s for your own good!

  57. 57.

    Donut

    October 11, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    TLDR on all the comments, so apologies if this is a redundant post in tone, but Jebus H. Crimony on a stick does Paul Ryan look like such a douche in that pic.

    Actually, come to think of it, that’s really an insult to douches the world over.

  58. 58.

    lamh35

    October 11, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    I hear some people saying who is gonna be watching the VP debate since baseball is on and maybe football I guess. My answer, WOMEN. If Obama/Biden can keep the big advantage on the gender gap that they have in the swing states, then going into November, then they win…period.
    Women make up what 1/2 of the elctorate, but they vote in bigger numbers than men right? So a big gender game is the difference between win and losing in alot of the swing states right?

  59. 59.

    Napoleon

    October 11, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    @lamh35:

    Gawd I hate to link to Dave Weigel (I think he’s a douche) . . .

    I really don’t get why people feel that way about him. I think he is one of the very best at what he does today.

    By the way, I took your advice and that was a good peice. Best line:

    Biden reacted like he’d just heard a Tourettes patient question the death toll of the Holocaust.

  60. 60.

    David in NY

    October 11, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    @Butch: Thanks. Sort of confirms my view that they’re less useful than other such things, though not a bad idea for my gardening and yard work. At my age, I just do this stuff to feel good being active and competent at activities of daily living. And my body type has always precluded any sense of “beefcake.”

  61. 61.

    The Other Chuck

    October 11, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    @The Moar You Know: The Romans had a pretty good run for a while. Then again they didn’t try to run government on the philosophy that government is inherently bad and should be sabotaged at every opportunity.

  62. 62.

    muddy

    October 11, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    His face reminds me of those troll dolls, only not cute as he does not have the right hair.

  63. 63.

    The Moar You Know

    October 11, 2012 at 12:21 pm

    He looks like that most repellent of all creatures, the middle aged man trying to look like a 20-something douche.

    @Liberty60: The pic is killing me. His next move is to lean over my twenty-two year old sister and drunkenly start hitting on her.

  64. 64.

    The Other Chuck

    October 11, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    @scav: ERMAHGERD! DURMBERLS!

  65. 65.

    muddy

    October 11, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    @Judas Escargot, Acerbic Prophet of the Mighty Potato God:

    Also just noticed Sullivan’s been moved back to the Mockables list.

    Anyone want to give odds as to whether or not he stays there?

  66. 66.

    JoyceH

    October 11, 2012 at 12:23 pm

    @Steve M.:

    Please tell me this is what a bunch of heterosexual white male GOP consultants think will appeal to Tha Ladiezzz—and please tell me they completely misjudged.

    Okay. They completely misjudged. And I speak as an officer and a gentlelady.

    My WORD, but that’s the dorkiest, least appealing picture of a candidate I’ve ever seen.

  67. 67.

    The Republic of Stupidity

    October 11, 2012 at 12:24 pm

    @Butch:

    Some CONSERVATIVE sites are actually describing these photos as “beefcake.” Barf.

    There… you forgot ONE word… NOW it’s complete…

    I’m surprised someone in that crowd didn’t photoshop Ryan’s head onto this guy’s body along the way…

    I wonder if conservatives have figured out that 300 is NOT a documentary about them yet?

  68. 68.

    shortstop

    October 11, 2012 at 12:24 pm

    @muddy: Dying laughing over here.

  69. 69.

    lamh35

    October 11, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    @Napoleon: I follow him on twitter and he as you know is very “snarky” and it wears a little is all. And he can sometimes be pretty douchey on twitter.

  70. 70.

    different-church-lady

    October 11, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    You know, I really think the “Dukakis in the tank” thing is overdone, but that is about as Dukakis-in-the-tank as you can get.

  71. 71.

    Frankensteinbeck

    October 11, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    I have to run off and don’t have time to read the thread, but… BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Holy Hell, does Ryan look like an idiot and a loser in this picture. Thanks, TIME!

  72. 72.

    blingee

    October 11, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    If you want to “make it stop” then why are you posting this garbage?

  73. 73.

    gogol's wife

    October 11, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    @muddy:

    That’s right! He needs long, iridescent purple hair.

    This thread is so funny.

  74. 74.

    shortstop

    October 11, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    @blingee: Because complaining gives you orgasms, and we want you to have one happy day in your life.

  75. 75.

    schrodinger's cat

    October 11, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    He is the most interesting Congressman in the world

  76. 76.

    RaflW

    October 11, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    Wow, the douche-ness telegraphed in that photo is teh awesomest.

    I think Ryan should move to New Jersey and stalk Snooki for a while.

    (And I hope he goes deaf – asap – from listening to and utterly misunderstanding Rage Against the Machine on those earbuds).

  77. 77.

    Butch

    October 11, 2012 at 12:37 pm

    @David in NY: Probably we’re about in the same age group; it isn’t appearance with me, it’s just one of the main muscles I use when I carry [email protected]The Republic of Stupidity: I need to take more time on my posts. You’re absolutely right.

  78. 78.

    GregB

    October 11, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    Ryan is such a douche he sweats vinegar and water.

  79. 79.

    quannlace

    October 11, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    I don’t get it. I really, really don’t get it.

    To me, he looks like Maynard G. Krebs.

  80. 80.

    ? Martin

    October 11, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    @robo:

    Well that ought to lock up the douchebag gymrat demographic.

    No shit. Why’d he do that set? There’s a way to project health and fitness at 40 and there’s a way to project douchebag – why’d he agree to the latter?

    I feel somewhat qualified in this area as I look a lot like Ryan, down to (a somewhat less pronounced) widow peak. We’re about the same age, I’m quite a bit paler than he though, and I have a Superman part, not a Clark Kent one. I even do PX90 to keep out of my fatter other self – though just from the photos above I’m not in nearly as good of shape as he. I’m in the not-fat, not-fit no-mans-land. I run my miles and do my workouts and wheeze and struggle through them – I’m trying at least and it’s going to take a while. Like Ryan, I’m very fortunate to still have all my hair and almost none of it grey.

    So the problem is that we’re 40-somethings that in some ways don’t look like a lot of other 40+ year olds. It’s easy to pose like those photos above looking like someone in college, but you aren’t. You’re still wearing 40 years on your face (and in your joints – man exercise is a shitload harder than it used to be) and society doesn’t permit you to be the stupid fuck you were when you were 20, so you cannot, at all, ever pull off the 20 year old douchebag look because you wind up looking like an out of touch 40 year old wanting to be a 20 year old douchebag – which is infinitely worse than just being a 20 year old douchebag. You have to balance your decent running shoes and (relative) lack of spare tire with some kind of old man clues – to broadcast to the world that yeah, you’re 40 and you’re okay with that.

  81. 81.

    Citizen_X

    October 11, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    DOUCHE. BAG.

  82. 82.

    Bruce S

    October 11, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    Oh please, Axe, start using pix of a 42 year old guy with his baseball cap on backwards in the campaign ads. If there’s anything that says, “I’m a total doofus, but I’m the only one who doesn’t know it”, it’s that old white guy with a baseball cap on fucking backwards. Jesus, this guy is even more inane and dickish than I feared.

    PS: Imagine the George Will and Peggy Noonan columns that would appear if pictures showed up in Time magazine of Obama with his baseball cap on backwards.

  83. 83.

    Judas Escargot, Acerbic Prophet of the Mighty Potato God

    October 11, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    @muddy:
    Ironically (or not), having him bounce from one list to the other seems quite apropos.

  84. 84.

    quannlace

    October 11, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    that would appear if pictures showed up in Time magazine of Obama with his baseball cap on backwards.

    Or Biden. Actually, that would be kind of fun.

  85. 85.

    GxB

    October 11, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    @Liberty60:

    middle aged man trying to look like a 20-something douche.

    Well in this respect he can honestly say “Nailed it!”

    I suspect the “P90X” is just the model of his Shake Weight, I can’t imagine him actually putting effort into his workout.

  86. 86.

    shortstop

    October 11, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    @? Martin: LOL. You may be overthinking this.

  87. 87.

    WarMunchkin

    October 11, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    TalkingPointsMemo just demolished J Rubin in one republish of a tweet. Thought ya’ll would like to know.

  88. 88.

    flukebucket

    October 11, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    Karl Childers

  89. 89.

    1badbaba3

    October 11, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    The Republicans seem determined to put the Onion out of business. Is it a Madison/Chicago thing? Does Alinsky write for them or something?

  90. 90.

    martha

    October 11, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    OK, when I fleetingly saw these pictures this morning on TV I truly thought they were jokes. But really? REALLY? What a complete and utter randian narcissistic douchebag. These are evidence that he is a pathological as we all think he is…these are also totally and completely hysterical. If he dressed like this anywhere here in Madison he’d be laughed off the streets. Unless it was Halloween on State Street…then he’d score big points for his costume…

  91. 91.

    matryoshka

    October 11, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    To me he looks like the dumbass kid in the car with the rattly bass who’s destroying his ears and mine at a stoplight. Can you do that with Pat Boone on the stereo?

  92. 92.

    ellie

    October 11, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    I hate that stupid fucking expression on his face.

  93. 93.

    R-Jud

    October 11, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    @? Martin:

    No shit. Why’d he do that set? There’s a way to project health and fitness at 40 and there’s a way to project douchebag – why’d he agree to the latter?

    He does look a bit embarrassed in the photos. Or maybe that’s my vicarious embarrassment influencing my reading of his facial expression.

  94. 94.

    Omnes Omnibus

    October 11, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    @martha: Fucking embarrassing.

  95. 95.

    crosspalms

    October 11, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Looking veepish, which is peevish with its hat on backwards if he uses his Herculean strength to pump some spelling iron.

  96. 96.

    shortstop

    October 11, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    @martha: He’s a hot commodity in Janesville, though.

  97. 97.

    Ruckus

    October 11, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    @Richard:
    Beefcake? This is the guy who gets sand kicked in his face.

    He’s the guy who gets sand kicked in his face by my little sister. And then gets his ass kicked when he says something. By her. She was a tough little spitfire, all 5ft of her, maybe that’s it.

  98. 98.

    catclub

    October 11, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    @Xecky Gilchrist: She appealed to the party just fine. The entire US voting public? Not so much.

  99. 99.

    ? Martin

    October 11, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    @shortstop: Oh, I’m sure I am. I’m pretty insecure about how I look in a particular sense. I don’t care if I look good or not, but looking foolish is like a bullet to my self-esteem. Always has been. The biggest obstacle to me losing weight and getting in shape (initiated when my overweight, out of shape self was rebuilding one of my fences last year and after augering out a post hole that landed me flat on my back for about half an hour decided that if I was going to continue my weekend warrior gig, that I’d have to get in shape or I was literally going to die of it) – the obstacle wasn’t that it’d hurt or be difficult, I’d already made my peace with that and exercised regularly through college, but that I’d look like a fat 40 year old douchebag doing it. That was the only thing holding me back. My wife keeps trying to convince me to go to her yoga class, and I love her desperately, but I cannot gather the courage to do it. I’ll do it in my house, but I can’t yet resolve to do it in public. When I run, I only run at night. It’s dark. Nobody can recognize me. I’m a old ninja douchebag. So yeah, I’m definitely overthinking it. And I’d bet cold cash that Cole isn’t too far from me on this one.

    This Ryan thing cannot end soon enough for me. And every time someone comments that I look like Ryan (which happens a lot) I just want to kill myself. That photo above is my worst nightmare. My chest tightens every time I look at it.

  100. 100.

    shortstop

    October 11, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    @? Martin: Pssst…the cure for overthinking is not overthinking.

  101. 101.

    Donut

    October 11, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    Ha ha. Had time to read the thread now, and as of this post, I count 19 uses of “douche,” or some variant thereof. One or two references are to Wiegel. No comment on that.

    Anyway good stuff, good to know sometimes when one’s visceral, gut reaction to a thing lines up with others.

    Just looking at that pic makes me honestly feel kinda bad for Red State ‘Merica. That’s the best we got, on that side? Really? Really really?

  102. 102.

    ? Martin

    October 11, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    @R-Jud: Yeah, I can’t tell. You get sucked into so many things when you become famous that are out of your comfort zone. He’s such a lying self-promoter that I suspect he doesn’t find that embarrassing enough.

  103. 103.

    The Other Chuck

    October 11, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    @R-Jud:

    He does look a bit embarrassed in the photos. Or maybe that’s my vicarious embarrassment influencing my reading of his facial expression.

    No, that’s pretty much the way he looks all the time, that tight-lipped thing he does.

    I mean jeez, I have the self-confidence of a whipped dog, I have teeth that would make the Big Book of British Smiles, and even I manage to open my mouth on occasion when I smile.

  104. 104.

    Ruckus

    October 11, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    @? Martin:
    and in your joints – man exercise is a shitload harder than it used to be

    Just wait young man, just wait.
    Another 2 decades of wear and abuse will make you think 40 was a grand age.

  105. 105.

    Citizen_X

    October 11, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    Re: the update: Let’s see lots more. Ryan’s picture is just begging for p-shopping. I hope this is going to be the McCain-greenscreen-video of this campaign.

  106. 106.

    ? Martin

    October 11, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    @shortstop: All of my friends are laughing at you. I don’t do that. I overthink everything. Not proud of it. Wish I could change it. It’s just how I’m wired.

  107. 107.

    The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik

    October 11, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    This pic makes me realize one thing.

    Paul Ryan is Screech desperately trying to act like Slater.

  108. 108.

    bemused

    October 11, 2012 at 1:18 pm

    @? Martin:

    You’re a regular person so you can look the way you want. If you’re running for VP and you’re a US Rep, you should know better by now that bad optics can be killers in politics. His handlers or his wife should have known better. The guy is a total idiot.

    My husband and I both thought the photos were a spoof when we first saw them on Morning Joe. My husband was guessing who was playing the part of Paul Ryan. Then it was…”OMG, this isn’t a joke, that’s really Ryan, he actually posed for those photos!”

  109. 109.

    Ruckus

    October 11, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    @The Other Chuck:
    I mean jeez, I have the self-confidence of a whipped dog, I have teeth that would make the Big Book of British Smiles, and even I manage to open my mouth on occasion when I smile.

    FLOL

  110. 110.

    Omnes Omnibus

    October 11, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    @? Martin: I hear ya. But here’s the thing, one really has to make an effort to look as much like a douche as Ryan does.

  111. 111.

    ? Martin

    October 11, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    @Ruckus:

    Just wait young man, just wait.
    Another 2 decades of wear and abuse will make you think 40 was a grand age.

    Oh, I know. Part of my motivation was that this was only going to get harder the longer I wait, and I might as well try and keep things in somewhat good working condition so that maybe the years yet to come will come slightly easier. A lot of my focus now is reducing the impact on my body – I’m giving in to power tools over hand ones, that kind of thing.

    My main goals here are to keep the extra pounds off, get enough of a well rounded exercise routine that when I need to plant a tree in the yard that I’m not feeling it in my muscles a week later, and to find the places where my joints ache easily and rethink how I do some things so that doesn’t become chronic.

  112. 112.

    reid

    October 11, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    Wow, with Romney being all slick and agressive and now this photo, how could I NOT vote for them? *barf*

  113. 113.

    danimal

    October 11, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    Photoshoppers of the world…Soonergrunt’s picture up top is missing one thing. Get on it!

  114. 114.

    ding dong

    October 11, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    This is all a big conspiracy. I have it on good authority that Greg Segal the photographer was paid off by David Plouffe personally last year, to make Ryan look like a douchebag.

  115. 115.

    SpaceSquid

    October 11, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    I see Harry Potter’s gotten hold of that hourglass necklace again. Not sure this is where I’d choose to go with all of time and space laid out before me. Mind you, when I was his age I was crushing on Kelly like you wouldn’t believe, so…

  116. 116.

    schrodinger's cat

    October 11, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    @? Martin: Listen to your wife, go to the Yoga class, it does wonders for joints and will also help in your running.

  117. 117.

    The Other Chuck

    October 11, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    @danimal: Wow, that picture of Sarah… that’s what you call “not aging gracefully”.

  118. 118.

    KXB

    October 11, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    This is why I exercise in my bedroom with the door closed and the shades drawn.

  119. 119.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    October 11, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    @Butch: It’s not so much that trainers think biceps aren’t used much as it is that they get worked as a secondary muscle to a LOT of other exercises. Curls in isolation don’t really accomplish much, strength-wise, for someone who is doing a full upper body circuit.

  120. 120.

    Comrade Mary

    October 11, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    Ahem. I am on record here as saying that men somewhere on the nerdy to handsome range work well for me. I may even have said that if Ryan were a completely different person, he could be considered attractive on a purely physical basis.

    My eyes, my brain, my ovaries and every last gland in my body would like to take back that remark. Thank you.

  121. 121.

    ? Martin

    October 11, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat: I know. I have nothing against the yoga at all. It’s just my insecurities holding me back.

  122. 122.

    Comrade Mary

    October 11, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    @? Martin:

    So the problem is that we’re 40-somethings that in some ways don’t look like a lot of other 40+ year olds. It’s easy to pose like those photos above looking like someone in college, but you aren’t. You’re still wearing 40 years on your face (and in your joints – man exercise is a shitload harder than it used to be) and society doesn’t permit you to be the stupid fuck you were when you were 20, so you cannot, at all, ever pull off the 20 year old douchebag look because you wind up looking like an out of touch 40 year old wanting to be a 20 year old douchebag – which is infinitely worse than just being a 20 year old douchebag. You have to balance your decent running shoes and (relative) lack of spare tire with some kind of old man clues – to broadcast to the world that yeah, you’re 40 and you’re okay with that.

    /applauds

  123. 123.

    jayjaybear

    October 11, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    @ding dong:

    Easiest twenty dollars he ever made…

  124. 124.

    schrodinger's cat

    October 11, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    @? Martin: No one in the class is going to judge you as harshly as your judging yourself. It will be OK, give it a try. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to go again.

  125. 125.

    1badbaba3

    October 11, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    @bemused: Clearly, it’s another “sweet Jesus” moment if ever there was one. Dead brill that GOP is.

  126. 126.

    martha

    October 11, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: I just cannot get over it. I know he’s fundamentally stupid, but WTF? I wish Rob Zerban could get more traction. His first ad was good, but he needs something to break through. I keep hoping that Joe will make some snarky comment tonight to the effect that “now that you’re finished with this debate you can prep to debate your other challenger…why are you ducking him?” A girl can dream.

  127. 127.

    Corner Stone

    October 11, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    “Hey girl, this is Paul Ryan. And these guns will never run out of ammunition. For you.”

  128. 128.

    Ruckus

    October 11, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    @Comrade Mary:
    This sounds like the bestest take back in history.

    Did you mean the first time that your eyes were bigger than your brain?

    That’s OK we guys know that feeling well in the reverse. OK at least those of us actually at least semi-alert to the outside world.

  129. 129.

    ellie

    October 11, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    @? Martin: I felt the same way when I started lifting weights at the gym. It was especially difficult because often I am the only woman in the weight area. I decided that I don’t care. I don’t care what the meatheads think because at least I am doing something.

  130. 130.

    blingee

    October 11, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    This reminds me of the George Bush land on the air craft carrier in flight suit action figure (yes, it actually exists). One thing I learned when I heard about it is that it actually has anatomically correct body parts. The only possible explanation is that Conservatives who buy it want to role ‘play’ with the naughty bits at which point the whole conservative as a mental disorder rather than a political philosphy thing made sense to me.

  131. 131.

    jayboat

    October 11, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    That photo makes me want to punch him right in the teeth.

    (haven’t read the comments yet, bet I’m not the first)

  132. 132.

    David in NY

    October 11, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    @R-Jud: Re: curls. Thanks. I skipped them in my workout today, as I often do. But I have to think they must increase strength some, though perhaps only for relatively unusual purposes (as in furniture moving, see @Butch:).

    @Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism: And that’s a useful thought, too. Though my upper-body circuit may be less than “full.”

  133. 133.

    cckids

    October 11, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    @bemused: I was positive they were photoshopped, at least the hat. But no. He really went there.

    And I gotta say, re the P90x thing: I know it isn’t easy, but a bunch of the out of shape, 45+ years old moms & dads at my son’s fencing center got together & do it as a fitness routine. Its working pretty well & all, but really, it isn’t The Impossible Dream or Ironman or something superhuman. Jeez, get over yourself.

  134. 134.

    ? Martin

    October 11, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    @cckids: Yeah. It’s hard, but people have to remember that any new exercise effort has a difficult ramp. If you haven’t been running and you head out one day, it’s going to be pretty awful. But by your 3rd time or so, it’ll be amazingly easier. It gets easier really fast and then it starts to flatten out and the gains come more and more slowly.

    With PX90, it’s like you’re starting 8 new exercises all at once. Each one is embarrassingly difficult the first time and you don’t get to feel the benefit of the ‘oh, this got a lot easier from last time’ for a few weeks. So that first pass through everything really take a lot of determination because it’s stretched out much longer than you would normally experience. But once you push through that it, it all comes together pretty well. It’s not easy, but I got my fat old ass through it so it can’t be that hard.

    And it’s pretty variable in terms of what you do. You can do it at a relatively light level. It’s not like running a marathon where you either do it or you don’t. You can put the weights aside in which a decent bit of it isn’t much different than Jane Fonda’s Workout tape. It’s hardly something worth bragging over, which only adds to the eyeroll nature of the whole Ryan fawning thing. It’s good, and kudos to Ryan for being where he is – and I genuinely mean that, we should reward this behavior more – but it’s starting to feel a little Idiocracy around Ryan.

  135. 135.

    Maude

    October 11, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    One year Time had a mirror on the cover and the Person if the year was YOU.

  136. 136.

    muddy

    October 11, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    No one in the class is going to judge you as harshly as your judging yourself.

    I used to worry about what people would think about me, but then I realized that they are mostly busy worrying about how people think of them.

    I lost 100 lbs with no greater workout than dog walking, yard work and home improvement. I can’t stand exercise for the sake of exercise, I need to be doing something useful. I don’t have a bike, but I if I had one I would ride it to go somewhere, not just ride for the sake of riding. It’s boring.

  137. 137.

    JustRuss

    October 11, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    @Brachiator:

    One of the most memorable was when Lloyd Bentsen told Dan Quayle that “you’re no Jack Kennedy.” It was an electric moment that had no effect on the outcome of the presidential election

    True, but nobody took Quayle seriously, not even conservatives. Ryan is the Village crush, and the Republican’s Number One Idea Man. If Biden can publicly pants him, it will sting. I don’t know anything about the moderator, but since she’s from ABC “News” I assume she’ll be in Ryan’s corner.

  138. 138.

    schrodinger's cat

    October 11, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat: You are not your, grammar fail.

  139. 139.

    MBL

    October 11, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    That’s the guy from Glee, right? Honestly.

  140. 140.

    Forum Transmitted Disease

    October 11, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    Nothing strictly to do with this, but if I were a friend of Romney’s I’d urge him in the strongest possible terms to watch his back around Ryan.

    I get the “if I could get away with it I would” vibe off that guy. Something stone-cold nasty lurking under the vacant eyes, there.

  141. 141.

    Bruce Webb

    October 11, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    @shortstop:
    Actually it only has a family resemblance to Gomer Pyle. In reality the look is a lot closer to Goober Pyle, Gomer’s cousin and successor at the gas station in Mayberry.
    http://www.theandygriffithshow.net/goober_pyle.htm

    (Goober of course played by the late and great George Lindsey)

  142. 142.

    slag

    October 11, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    I used to be in complete denial about the existence of 40+ year-old douchebags. I thought that, for sure, by the time you got out of your 30s you’d have naturally acquired at least some sense of self-awareness and respect for the world around you. How could you not? When I saw 40+ year-old douchebags on the teevee or some such, I never found them believable. And now, here one is. Posing as a vice-presidential candidate of these United States of America.

    So young. So naive.

  143. 143.

    Hal

    October 11, 2012 at 6:26 pm

    Just when I thought I had run out of masturbation material…

  144. 144.

    Sm*t Cl*de

    October 11, 2012 at 6:27 pm

    That man has wheels instead of hands. Is he turning into a Wheeler?

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