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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Dirty Pictures (NSFW)

Dirty Pictures (NSFW)

by | 89 Comments

This post is in: 

It’s late on Saturday night, and the kiddies should all be in bed, so here (by special request) we go. Let no one ever say this isn’t a full service blog

I like looking at pictures of strapping young men or (on occasion) nubile young women (although you won’t be surprised that my tastes run mainly the other way). I blame my father who had, stashed in his study where the servants and mummy couldn’t find it, a library of porn of all kinds. He had a thing for a little bit of sodomy and the lash – learned first at Rugby where he went to school (he always said that the British Empire was built on a foundation of buggery and lumpy porridge) and perfected in the Araby where he spent several months tying T.E. Lawrence to a chest of drawers and whipping him ’til he cried for his mummy.

I have continued to build on Daddy’s collection throughout the years. I have, for example, discovered, of late, a taste for shopping on eBay for random snapshots. I love the candor, these beautiful young men caught in their prime, now perhaps long dead, but caught forever for my delectation.

The first image above (click most of these images for embiggening) is one for which I was, sadly, outbid. That chest, those little shorts. It makes Grammy feel quite warm.

I am not alone in my devotion. The internet may be 90% porn, but there are some aficionados who bring some class to the dirty picture trade. A particular favourite is Callum James, whose website is a delightful mix of bookish paraphernalia and hot young things, and from whence come the second and third images.

They put the lie to the wingnuts’ fantasies of a long ago more innocent age. The sight of a hint of stocking may have been more alluring than nudity, but the reality is that most of these young people were at it like drunken ferrets whenever they had the chance.

[Edited a few days later (16 October).] I have moved the NSFW parts of this post to Sarah Proud and Tall, where such not safe for work things can be safely displayed. That link is NSFW, funnily enough. You can read my proposed solution here.

Reader Interactions

89Comments

  4. 4.

    piratedan

    ty SPT… that first paragraph made me realize that George MacDonald Fraser is gone and that they’ll be no more Flashman packets…. sigh.

  5. 5.

    TheMightyTrowel

    Dude in the 2nd to last pic looks like a more charming Paul Ryan – maybe it’s the pose (like the bicep curl photo) but slap a backwards cap on his head and a copy of atlas shrugged under his arm and I bet you’d see it too.

  8. 8.

    TheMightyTrowel

    @Yutsano: I don’t know about you, but there’s nothing hotter than looking at pretty pictures while listening to sternly worded letters being read aloud.

  9. 9.

    freelancer

    Speaking of male vanity gone wrong, I got most of what I need for what I considered as my Halloween costume. I’m going as the Eleventh Doctor. I got my bowtie and red suspenders, a freaking awesome suit jacket, black pants, and boots.

    I SO don’t look like Matt Smith. I’m 6’1″, 200 lbs. I’m not fat, but the first impression of what I looked like was that I look like a gay Chris Christie impersonator.

    Halloween is ruined. But it makes for a funny story.

  11. 11.

    Narcissus

    That last one has a certain Croc Dundee “that’s not a knife” feel to it

    which I appreciate

  14. 14.

    Keith

    Christ, Sully’s posts are invading Balloon Juice. I think you forgot to mention that Obama gave the worst debate performance in modern history and how beards are the secret of the universe.

  17. 17.

    Thor Heyerdahl

    C’mon, it’s not like this is the first time that a dick has been on the front page.

    Romney and Ryan are oft quoted on the front page…

  18. 18.

    Keith

    @freelancer: Still a bunch of bullshit. The overload of FPers here has jumped the shark, although I really thought it did it earlier in the week with the umpteenth FPer writing a bit on how Obama let him down. But jeez, gratuitous dong shots now? This is my favorite page, but after ditching Daily Dish over the obssessive nature of the writer there, it’s time to reevaluate this one as well(especially with JC getting more misogynistic to his readers by the day).

  20. 20.

    PanurgeATL

    I wonder about the angle here. It’s been played before, but its ultimate effect actually seems to have been to help validate a certain “Who Needs The Sixties?” perspective which ties very neatly into the outlook of modern cultural conservatism. (And let’s face it, “long ago”) essentially means “before the Sixties”.)
    Of course, it’s still interesting and good to know about these things.

  22. 22.

    Keith

    @Yutsano: I’m referring to shit like this. Some guy doesn’t like comments from one or two people, so he shits on everybody. And not an isolated incident (recall several responses to ABL threads where he lashes out at everyone)

    Try acting like this in the real world, and see how many friends you can gather in a room at one time.

  23. 23.

    freelancer

    @Keith:

    This is my favorite page, but after ditching Daily Dish over the obssessive nature of the writer there, it’s time to reevaluate this one as well(especially with JC getting more misogynistic to his readers by the day).

    I agree, there have been way too many soccer threads. This needs to change. I have been questioning my own allegiances to this free website because there have been, as Lincoln said, “too many pigs for the tits”. And with the addition and promotion of female frontpagers, a rampant, unanswered onslaught of misogynistic posts. What with Tim F. hanging up his spurs, and the posts of Anne Laurie, ABL, Betty Cracker, and SP&T totally stepped on by the John Cole posts of music threads that totally negate what they contribute, it’s enough to make me shake my head in disgust.

    Wait, no. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

  24. 24.

    freelancer

    @Keith:

    Try acting like this in the real world, and see how many friends you can gather in a room at one time.

    Dude, Cole gets down on everybody. And I can’t count on one hand the last time I had 14 people in my living room IN THE REAL WORLD lending solidarity to anything and having his mom take the picture.

    If you’re genuine in your outrage, take a shot, and “try to give some back.”
    If you’re trolling, try harder.

  25. 25.

    Cmm

    I did enjoy the vintage pics. Here are several other vintage/erotic tumblrs I follow that you might want to check out:

    Curvyswervydames
    Ilikeoldthings
    Turnofthecentury
    Vintagelesbian
    Comicallyvintage

    And if you like modern but not totally tacky stuff:
    Sexisnottheenemy
    Mrsexsmith
    Happynakedpeople (no longer updated but still out there for now)
    Eroticbwphotograpky

  26. 26.

    Cmm

    Oh and if you like Doctor Who, check out Texts from the Tardis, which matches words from Texts from Last Night to,appropriate screenshots from Doctor Who. It should come as no surprise that ones featuring River Song seem to work particularly well.

    All blogs mentioned should be considered NSFW, of course, though with Texts from the Tardis it is more for smutty words than pics.

  27. 27.

    Yutsano

    @Keith: That’s not misogyny dude. You’re not even close here. JC was reacting to more than a couple of people harping on him being a shut-in, so he proved otherwise. Mon Dieu maybe you’re just too delicate for this blog.

    @freelancer: I wonder when he’ll figure out I’m slightly mocking him.

  28. 28.

    Keith

    @Yutsano: Delicate? No, but I just don’t see a point in grouping the entire readership with some sentiment that should be settled personally. And as for the dong shots in this post, I just do not see the point of posting dong/bush shots on the site even if it is to generate outrage. I really see little difference between the intent of a post like this and what Violentacrez was doing on Reddit other than scale/volume. Why not show screenshots of 2Girls/1Cup next? Won’t make me throw up, but my reaction would still be “What the fuck is going on with this site?” just like it was for this post.

  29. 29.

    freelancer

    @Keith:

    SP&T has been promising pron for at least the last 3 days in her OT’s. It’s not like she fucking opened up the site to fapdu or xvideos.

    Lighten up.

  31. 31.

    cmm

    OMFG Keith. Fainting couch is to the left. Sarah might lend you some pearls to clutch if you prefer.

  32. 32.

    bago

    My video was just a 6 second clip of the bondage tent twirling a suspended person. I was at the right time and place.

  33. 33.

    cmm

    Also as a female person (nonheterosexual bin, to boot), I have never been offended on either of those counts here, including the mocking of Sully as a drama queen. As a data point. There are other things that have mildly offended me but so what? It’s a free site, minimal advertising, personable host and FPers and 90% of the posts are genuinely useful info and/or entertaining.

    And seriously, as bad as Violentacrez? Gimme a break.

  34. 34.

    Sarah, Proud and Tall

    @Keith:

    I had no intention of generating outrage. I just thought that amongst the sport threads and the food threads and the book and politics and animal and IT and all the other threads, some people might not kind a few pictures of some cute boys. You could always not read the thread.

  35. 35.

    cmm

    @freelancer:

    Awesome! Before “dressing up” became “cosplay” and “cosplay” became link bait at every blog out there, people of every size and color dressed up as whatever they liked, of any size and color. That was one of the awesome things about it. Now it’s only acceptable to the masses if it’s 1) a girl 2) in spandex 3) with what are generally deemed to be appropriate body proportions or the comments threads fill with gifs of people vomiting. I say, fuck that. Wear an outfit that makes you happy and celebrates what you like. And do it proudly.

  46. 46.

    Barney

    I suspect some people might appreciate a Not Safe For Work warning, at least before Monday morning. Given that Balloon Juicers like to go for punning titles and quotes, you can’t assume that “Dirty Pictures” really does mean NSFW. It’s not the reactions of the blog viewers themselves you have to think of, but people like employers.

  50. 50.

    Hillary Rettig

    wow, super not happy to wake up to this.

    I recommend BJ everywhere, but not today. And I really hope no one I recommended it to shows up this morning.

    Sarah: “You can always not read the thread.” Well, yeah, I didn’t, once I realized what I was into. But I was already into it. Pictures sink in kind of quick, don’t they? You also, on purpose, I guess, started out with more benign images that caused me and probably others to keep reading, and btw your somewhat flowery prose style also masked your intention.

    Leaving aside the problematic aspects of porn itself (sexism, exploitation), you basically violated community norms in a big way here, and that wasn’t fair to the community.

  51. 51.

    Schlemizel

    really! If I wanted to see a bunch of dicks I’d go to a Rmoney rally! I’ll be surprised if some of John’s old friends don’t link to this as proof that all libs are fruitcups

    OTOH Sarah must be a hoot at parties, but we knew that

  52. 52.

    freelancer

    @hep kitty:

    All I did was post a rough draft of my Doctor Who-planned rough draft of a costume on Sarah’s late night thread about vintage porn. I covered it up with a dress shirt and suit jacket, but the criticism seems excessive, jeez.

  53. 53.

    freelancer

    @Hillary Rettig:

    Leaving aside the problematic aspects of porn itself (sexism, exploitation), you basically violated community norms in a big way here, and that wasn’t fair to the community.

    I have been around this place for a long time, but even then, I make no claim to speak for this community or humanity at large or anyone other than myself.

    Not the most pleasant thing to encounter on a Saturday night, nor a Sunday morning, I’ll give you that.

    What I won’t give you is license to be offended on behalf of anyone other than yourself. You’ll walk away or you won’t, given this egregious overreach and breach of a boundary regarding this website that you had in your head that was drawn between a specific moral latitude that only you get to determine.

    This either crosses your line or it doesn’t. If it does, I suggest you send an email to the webmaster, I hear he loves that kind of thing. Good day, Sir, or Madame.

  54. 54.

    hep kitty

    @freelancer: I was talking about Sarah’s post and I was being snarky – can a woman complain about too much dick for crying out loud?

    Everybody lighten up – I think vintage erotica is fascinating! But I also think it’s ok to poke f(no pun intended) and yes, the NSFW was necessary.

  56. 56.

    hep kitty

    It’s funny, we women don’t get nearly as excited about men’s pee pees as they think we do and certainly not as much as the average gay man.

    But we keep coming back for more, for some reason. :)

  57. 57.

    Cassidy

    Oh for fucks sake. Can we buy smelling slats in bulk? Fucking wankers. ZOMG….there’s naughty bits! Ewwwwwwww!

  58. 58.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @hep kitty:

    Ummm… duh? ;) I was responding to Taylormattd commenting on the gay pron.

    If I didn’t know that, man would I be in trouble!

    @hep kitty:

    Careful about poking around on this page! ;)

  60. 60.

    Amir Khalid

    Yay Sarah Proud and Tall! Your posts with dirty pictures almost make up for the long absence of Randinho and his football posts.

  61. 61.

    Spatula

    @Hillary Rettig:

    Leaving aside the problematic aspects of porn itself (sexism, exploitation), you basically violated community norms in a big way here, and that wasn’t fair to the community.

    lol.

    (laughs, points)

  62. 62.

    furklempt

    *squee!*

    The only thing that could possibly have made BJ better (for me) was vintage porn via SPT!

    (Just adding a rah-rah to help neutralize the Debbie Downers)

  63. 63.

    Elizabelle

    Debbie Downer checking in.

    I agree with Hillary at post 50.

    This post jumped the shark, an amazingly well-endowed shark, at that.

    Maybe a compromise would be putting the really explicit photos in a LINK?

    Because two of these photos are not like the others. (Leaving you to decide which two.)

  65. 65.

    Ash Can

    I’m on a smart phone right now so I don’t know if SPT’s pics were below the fold. Assuming they were, and assuming that her great big “NSFW” warning was right up there In the tItle from the get-go, I see no problem. And the snapshots of long-ago naughtiness gave me a giggle (as SPT says, what erstwhile time of innocence ?). And I’m a female. So BFD.

  66. 66.

    Violet

    Agree that perhaps featuring the photos of naked people on the actual post wasn’t the best choice. Particularly the one with the naked woman above the fold. People who visit Balloon Juice and are skimming the front page can’t help but see that one. I think it’s better form to place those kinds of photos after the jump, with a NSFW disclaimer, so that those who want to see them can.

    Personally I don’t have a problem with the post itself, but think the majority of it would work better if after the jump so that only those folks who want to see that sort of thing can.

  68. 68.

    Julia Grey

    especially with JC getting more misogynistic to his readers by the day

    You mean misanthropic, of course, and I don’t agree.

    If I’m one of the members of this community, I’ll raise my hand and say that since they were under the fold and marked (at least by the time I got here) NSFW, they did not offend MY standards.

    Similiar pix in modern dress would probably not be nearly so charming. I don’t know what it is about sepia tones and the historical “eye” that takes the sting out of these doity pictures, but somehow, they seem more…cute than seamy.

    The one thing that gave me pause was the worry that the first 2 beach snapshots weren’t taken consensually. A bit of the creepshot vibe…but I’ve become sensitized to anonymous “body parts” photos lately.

  70. 70.

    Julia Grey

    You can’t tell that the woman is naked in that tiny front page shot, especially if you’re not RIGHT in front of the computer!

    Seriously. Stand back three feet and for all you know she’s wearing a harem outfit.

  72. 72.

    Violet

    @Julia Grey:

    Seriously. Stand back three feet and for all you know she’s wearing a harem outfit.

    I’m probably two feet from my monitor and I could tell right away she was naked.

  75. 75.

    taylormattd

    @Hillary Rettig:

    Leaving aside the problematic aspects of porn itself (sexism, exploitation)

    It’s not really “leaving aside” when you mention it.

    And since you did mention this, let me respond:

    For christ’s sake, lighten the fuck up. And if you feel the need to discuss sexism in porn, or exploitation in porn, try to pick a better target, and try to do so without implying there can never be any porn at all, because it always is sexist and exploitative.

    Otherwise you just sound like Tipper Gore from 1988 railing on and on about how those albums with swear words need to be banned.

  77. 77.

    Julia Grey

    I’m probably two feet from my monitor and I could tell right away she was naked.

    Okay. I concede that someone walking by behind you and your big monitor might tweak to the fact that there was a coyly posed naked woman in an illustration on your screen — but it’s an illustration that seems to be an antique, apparently a sepia-toned poster for a century-old hootchie show.

    Would they have been offended if your monitor had contained an image of Michaelangelo’s David? Or any number of classical paintings in which the female subject is naked?

    There is a difference between a contemporary color photograph of a naked woman (even at that size, I suppose) and that historical image, which is what could be called, let’s say, a “discussable artifact with social and pedagogical significance” rather than simply a “pornographic picture,” per se. In other words, you could be having a legitimate discussion about it, or some other reason to have it up on your screen, just as you could with an image of the David, such as a chat about your trip to the Uffizi.

    (Is it still at the Uffizi? It’s been 25 years since I saw it last.)

  78. 78.

    Julia Grey

    P.S. I’m on a laptop. So I can see that larger monitors might be slightly more….indiscreet.

    Still.

    M.A.A.N. in my book. I used to sometimes disable ALL images in my browser when I was still working where real people could monitor my activities. I didn’t want them to know I was even in a chat forum at all.

    Can people still do that with these newfangled browsers and machines?

  79. 79.

    eemom

    Sweet baby Jesus HC, this has got to be some of the most fucked up reaction to a post I’ve ever seen here.

    Cool stuff, Mrs. Sarah. Pay NO mind to the watb contingent now or ever, plz. You rawk this joint more than all the rest put together times infinity-seven.

    Hell, make this a REGULAR Saturday night feature.

    eta: Come to think of it, it WAS Saturday night — so what is all this NSFW bullshit?

  80. 80.

    Violet

    @Julia Grey: My only point is that the image that contains the three photos, one of which is a naked woman, is above the jump/fold or whatever you want to call it. Photos of naked people, however old (and no, not statues or paintings) are not what Balloon Juice usually provides.

    I don’t mind the photos, but I think any photo of a naked person, especially one that was made at the time to titillate, would be best put below the jump with a specific NSFW disclaimer so that those that wanted to see it/participate could, and those that didn’t for whatever reason, could skip it.

    If people want to look at the photos, they’re available. But placing the last image below the fold so that not everyone who visits Balloon-Juice sees it on the front page seems more appropriate to me.

  82. 82.

    dance around in your bones

    I have to say, the images did not bother me. Then again, I am not at work or where anyone else could see them (well, except my grandkids, but I know how to switch tabs quickly or do that ‘show desktop’ thing really fast) – I happend to walk in to the playroom the other day and the kids were watching some R rated movie on Netflix and a scene came up of some buttsex and I literally stood in front of the TV, causing shrieks of outrage from the 6 and 3 yr old. (It didn’t matter that it was buttsex, just nekkid sex in general).

    WHY they were watching an R rated film in the first place, I don’t know. 6 yr old told me Mom had said it was ok, which was quickly debunked by Mom.

    I kinda like the old porn – it seems so innocent, somehow. In the age of goatse and all.

    Anyway, much ado about nothing. But in the future, maybe keep the more graphic images below the fold.

  83. 83.

    geg6

    Oooooo, I love vintage pr0n.

    But then, I really don’t have any big problems with pr0n, other than the obvious: workplace safety, exploitation, and making sure kids aren’t doing it. But that pretty much describes any workplace in America, as far as I can tell.

    If it’s voluntary and safe, I say pr0n away! Especially the vintage stuff. Truly fascinating stuff.

  84. 84.

    Uncle Ebeneezer

    @Sarah- you’r obviously trying to turn us all into lustful cock-monsters.

    @Julia Grey: I find the distinction rather fascinating. I love nudey pix from the entire range from soft-to-hardcore, through many eras, so I’m pretty immune to shock at most things. But I find it interesting how when you take a picture and simply change it into sepia/vintage it takes on an amount of charm that seems to make it less offensive to many (myself included.) I wonder why that is. Anyways, I think the taboo over the human form and sexuality is something that needs to change, and I think the strict wall that exists between serious blogging and anything that approaches eroticism, needs to be chipped away at. So I actually applaud the effort by Sarah. So long as adequate NSFW warnings are given, I really see no reason why BJ or any other blog that includes football, pet pictures, gardening etc., shouldn’t include posts that get a little more tawdry.

  86. 86.

    The Very Reverend Crimson Fire of compassion

    First, big props to Sarah for the post. I loved it, and whole-heartedly endorse the demonstration of the perennial nature of desire. That said, I would like to ask @Hillary Rettig: a question regarding her objections. Is all pornography sexist, regardless of the gender being objectified? And is all pornography exploitative? Is desire exploitative? I’m not trying to be an ass, just to understand your position. I will say, however, that in reference to the community, of which I consider myself the humblest member (no pun intended), when I need defending from unfairness, I’m more than capable of providing it, thank you kindly.

  87. 87.

    Genine

    I have no problem with the pictures and I think it adds something… interesting to the blog.

    And as for “community standards”…. I wasn’t aware this blog had any. And though this was posted on a Saturday night, SPT was still considerate enough to mention NSFW.

    Though I am firmly in the “pro-dong” camp, I do agree with Violet’ suggestion that full-on nudes be posted below the fold because it is the first thing you see on the page. Someone reading this at work could run into trouble with that.

  88. 88.

    Porco rosso

    Oh, and I was just going to recommend this blog to my staunchly conservative dad in Utah…

  89. 89.

    karen marie

    @Keith: I don’t think “misogynistic” means what you think it does.

    @Keith: Generate outrage? Really? If you’re outraged, you’re definitely in the wrong place.

Comments are closed.