Some pre-debate reading from Sad Bastard Bar:
Liberals, you need to get your goddamn shit together. The President lost a debate. He didn’t lose Texas. For four years, this President has faced off one of the most obstructionist parties in modern American political history. He did this in the center of an economic collapse. He has delivered on too many promises to count, even in the dead heat of this. He’s been running ahead in an election where the opposition was fairly incompetent, where the leading opposition candidate told half the country to go fuck themselves with a stolen rusty tire iron. He has one debate where the opposition is competent, and that’s it. You’re done. You have bad polling days, and you’re done. Let’s just call off the election and use that time to apply for foreign passports. I mean, holy shit, what a bunch of spineless bastards you turned out to be.
I’ve spent the last few days talking to you motherfuckers, and I have several questions, beginning with: did you motherfuckers watch the same debate as me? Cause for the last few days, I’ve heard people saying ‘why didn’t he point out that Romney was lying?’ He did. ‘Why didn’t he tie the economy to education or healthcare?’ He did. He made much of the same case for his Presidency as did Bill Clinton. He just didn’t do it with the bullshit flourish that is Clinton’s specialty. But shit, for the last four years, he hasn’t done the flourish. He’s been tired almost every day. He’s been tired at every press conference. He’s been tired at every speech and every state of the union with the exception of a handful of incidents. And all of a sudden, you’re surprised he comes off tired? Fuck yes, he’s tired. For four years, for four years while you were antsy that he was playing the adult in the room, while you thought he was being too nice, he fought daily for every reform at every impasse. Bill Clinton, for all his talents, didn’t do what Barack Obama did. Not for the uninsured. Not for the poor. Not for college students. Not for women. Not for the children of illegal immigrants. Not in a recession. This President has wound down two wars. He gave the kill order for Osama Bin Laden. He has promoted genuine efforts at democracy in the middle east, in a region that is in the middle of a revolution that came under his watch. While everything he does gets fucked daily by the tidal wave of shithead that is the Republican Party, the Israeli Prime Minister, the European economy, probably the whole of the Middle East, some douchebags with Youtube accounts and the state of Arizona, we ask if his heart is in it? Really? If he really wants to be President? For four years, we sat at his left flank just pissing and moaning while he delivered what none of his predecessors could. He did this against a party that is objectively crazy. And now, one debate, and the question is, is the President’s heart in it?
What happened to chess? Yeah, fuck chess, we had a few bad poll days, time to go beat our own brains in with an ice pick. You know what? Fuck the President’s heart. I know his heart’s in it because while you and I have been fucking around amongst ourselves, bullshitting into the ether as to what it would mean for the campaign if Obama came off like an angry black man for a second, he’s been there bleeding for us and our progressive policies every goddamn day. You know whose heart isn’t in it? You know who needs to take the blame right now? You know who is letting everybody down? We are. We’re the ones we’ve been waiting for, and we surely are a huge pile of superstitious assholes. For four years, this President has made good on his promises even with the shit-storm that has become the political process in America. And he deserves, if not our support, then our resolve. So stop fucking panicking because you had a bad poll day. You know how many bad poll days the President has had? You might know better than he does, because he’s been too busy trying to keep Iran and Israel from becoming the dust and ash filled lands formerly known as Iran and Israel. So, for fuck’s sake, get your shit together. This is our President. He needs us. He needs our support. He needs our resolve. He needs us to beat Mitt Romney, because that asshole, despite what he said in the debate, would do exactly the damage that George Bush did, and we literally can’t afford that.
Open Thread or whatever.