I’m so much happier since I installed an industrial-sized Xanax lick next to my workstation. But getting through the next however-many-days-there-are-until-the-election might require the addition of an extra-large bourbon bong. I just want it to be over, damn it.
This is way worse than 2008, even though I was heavily invested then too. But now, I’m wandering around in a fog of free-floating anxiety that has left me fit for little aside from working, chicken-tending and child-chauffeuring.
Would mockery and derision help ease the pain? Maybe! Let’s examine a concern troll expressing concern about Obama’s reaction to Romney on the Libya flap during the debate the other night:
Democrats are using patriotism to drown out criticism of the president, just like George W. Bush.
So now Obama’s exposure of Mitt-Fucking-Romney’s inept, transparently cynical ploy to make political hay of dead State Department personnel is exactly the same as private citizens and others who were RIGHT ABOUT IRAQ being denounced as traitors by warmongering politicians after 9/11? Just. Fuck. Off.
Next up in concern trollery: Michael Medved:
Contempt: Democrats and Republicans Now See The Other Party As Worthless
The nation remains divided, in other words, not merely over which candidate counts as more qualified for the nation’s highest office, but over which contender is worthy and which one is, in the deepest sense, worthless.
This represents a level of vitriolic polarization unthinkable even four years ago. Then, virtually all liberals (very much including Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton) expressed their admiration for John McCain and his heroic years of military service and often bi-partisan leadership in the Senate. At the same time, even the most conservative Republicans acknowledged Barack Obama’s oratorical gifts, beautiful family and historic achievements as the first non-white politician to conduct a serious campaign for the White House.
God, what a streaming pile of horseshit. This makes me want to douse Medved’s moustache in kerosene and set it ablaze and then apply for species reassignment surgery so I can enjoy the fellowship of other creatures unsullied by genetic kinship with such a breathtakingly stupid hunk of besooted carbon.
And what’s with this “first non-white politician to conduct a serious campaign for the White House” bullshit? Scoreboard, motherfucker! Obama kicked your sorry asses, and “most conservative Republicans” have been shrieking like lacerated hyenas from the moment the man won the nomination to this very day, not to mention the astonishing number who went full metal Exalted Cyclops.
And finally, Ann Romney on “The View” today, having the unmitigated gall to draw parallels between bicycling around Provence pestering the French about the Angel Moroni and military service made necessary by the wars her class so enthusiastically supports (verbally).
[On Mittens’ absence from Vietnam] “He was serving his mission, and my five sons have also served missions. None served in the military, but I do have one son that feels that he’s giving back to his country in a significant way where he is now a doctor and he is taking care of veterans.”
“So, you know, we find different ways of serving,” she added. “And my husband and my five boys did serve missions, did not serve in the military.”
The candidate’s wife explained that Mormon missions were like military service in that “you’re going outside of yourself, you’re working and you’re helping others. And it changes you.”
Yeah, but probably not as much as “it changes you” when an IED blows your dick off. God, I’d rather walk around with a befouled diaper pail on my head than have to look at that hyper-privileged twit and her five beady-eyed spawn for the next four years if her lying husband finally gets to cross “Be President!” off his goddamned bucket list. FSM, spare us such an awful fate.