Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

“woke” is the new caravan.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

This really is a full service blog.

Dear elected officials: Trump is temporary, dishonor is forever.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

We will not go back.

They spent the last eight months firing professionals and replacing them with ideologues.

Not rolling over. fuck you, make me.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Consistently wrong since 2002

I don’t recall signing up for living in a dystopian sci-fi novel.

We do not need to pander to people who do not like what we stand for.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Republicans do not pay their debts.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

That meeting sounds like a shotgun wedding between a shitshow and a clusterfuck.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Sandy Open Thread

Sandy Open Thread

by | 155 Comments

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For those of you wondering why these idiot reporters keep standing in horrible weather giving live reports, I can tell you why they do it. Folks like my mother. She is crazy about storm coverage. She just loves it, and will watch for hours in the hopes that one of these jackasses will get knocked over by the wind or water.

Likewise, she keeps calling me with the lamest storm updates ever. Imagine the worst news network ever (other than Fox) giving you live updates on camera:

“Did I tell you I went to take the dogs for a walk, they went outside, saw how bad it was and turned around. That’s a first!”

“I called our friend Jean, she’s in Wilmington, and she doesn’t know anything about her beach house!”

“Your sister in Connecticut just lost her power.”

I just said, “Oh, wow. Make sure you keep me up to date on all this important stuff,” at which point she said “You’re so sarcastic. I don’t think I like you and I don’t know why your friend does, either.”

She did ask me to forward a question to you all- Does anyone know what is going on with the wild horses of Assateague Island? Are they ok?

Reader Interactions

155Comments

  3. 3.

    piratedan

    @ JC, the horses have their own twitter account #nothorsingaround and according to their latest tweet, this is the first time that they’ve been bathed in months….

  4. 4.

    Baud

    in the hopes that one of these jackasses will get knocked over by the wind or water.

    Storm coverage:news::NASCAR:sports

  7. 7.

    Ladyfriend

    I am quite happy snug under a quilt with milk and Oreos watching Boardwalk Empire, and I think I will wisely refrain from further remark about the storm or John’s mother, except to say how lovely the apple crisp was that she sent over.

    Ahem.

  8. 8.

    DCLaw1

    I’m counting on The Daily Show to provide us with a compendium of the media’s most embarrassing hurricane coverage moments when this is all over.

  11. 11.

    RinaX

    will watch for hours in the hopes that one of these jackasses will get knocked over by the wind or water

    Heh, heh, me too.

  12. 12.

    jibeaux

    It’s like some variation on a face only a mother could love….an attitude even a mother will hate. Cole, this is what mothers are FOR. Mine gives me updates on hers & grandma’s bridge club.

  13. 13.

    Nicole

    For your mom:

    “The Chincoteague Volunteer Fire Company opened the gates to fencing of their grazing areas to allow them seek the highest ground on Assateague which they will do instinctively. There is high ground on Assateague Island that will not be covered by flood waters. The ponies will ride out the storm on that high ground. After the storm fire company personnel will get out on Assateague Island to verify that all the ponies are ok. We will post any updates about the ponies we receive.”

    eventingnation.com/home/hurricane-sandy-weather-update-and-info-from-holly-covey.html

  15. 15.

    geg6

    @khead:

    Heh.

    And can I just say that I’m amazed that I still have satellite and electricity. Wind is crazy out there. I sure hope the giant old oak holds up to this. It’s swaying like a stoned hippie at Woodstock.

  19. 19.

    PurpleGirl

    @gussie: Lady Friend has been visiting him for almost two weeks. She even came on-line and wrote a short post to us. He’s been quite pre-occupied.

  22. 22.

    Suffern ACE

    Lucy the Elephant in Margate was holding in there as of six thirty. I have no news of the horses.

  25. 25.

    gbear

    The MPR music station that I listen to said that MPR’s news station was going to have two hours of storm coverage so I switched over to see how bad it was. Unfortunately, it was the All Thing Considered crew and when they took breaks from the storm coverage, they went to human interest stories with random conservative entitled white old men. Like your mom, I’d rather listen to wet New Yorkers describing a collapsing construction crane.

  27. 27.

    Comrade Mary

    @Ladyfriend: One ALWAYS compliments the apple crisp. It is not just a gracious thing to do, but it is objectively impossible for any apple crisp to be less than lovely.

  30. 30.

    PsiFighter37

    Lost power 20 minutes ago here in Manhattan. Dark streets, no one outside, no lights – very eerie scene in the city that never sleeps.

    Saving my battery power for the long haul. Take care, Juicers.

  31. 31.

    Keith G

    Does anyone know what is going on with the wild horses of Assateague Island? Are they ok?

    I heard they were shipped to France for safe-keeping.

  34. 34.

    RedKitten

    You be nice to your mother, John Cole. Between giving birth to her kids, dealing with JRTs, and dealing with your perpetual injuries and your father’s health, not to mention any other family dramas to which I’ve not been privy, she’s been through QUITE enough.

    @Ladyfriend: I am currently envious of your milk and Oreos and apple crisp and quilt. That all sounds so very lovely.

  39. 39.

    khead

    The power flickered multiple times here between 5-8 but it’s been stable since then. The trees behind the house are scary though – see stoned hippies from earlier in the thread. I can’t do another 6 days without power.

  40. 40.

    Another Halocene Human

    @Nicole: Durn. I was hoping the foreign invaders would drown.

    My mom wasted a perfectly good weekend of mine when I was in high school dragging me to Mosquitoes Will Leave Nothing But Your Bones Island and Just As Lame As You Envisioned “Ocean” City Boardwalk.

    Ocean in quotes because nobody is looking at the Atlantic. They are, rather, engaged in taffy–, ice cream–, and fried dough–acquisition activities, or screaming at their parents and siblings.

  41. 41.

    weaselone

    Associating anyone’s mother with a storm probably isn’t a wise move even if you follow it with a complimentary review of their apple crisp.

  44. 44.

    hamletta

    @Nicole: That is so awesome! I saw an update this afternoon that said Chincoteague was completely underwater, and my first thought was: The horsies!

  45. 45.

    aimai

    What is it with apple crisp? My cousin in New York City is settled in for the storm with a massive apple crisp and I just made one too–apples, raisins, cranberries, cardamom and cinnamon. It must be an all american storm comfort food.

    Oh, and here was our storm comfort dinner:

    1 small package cheese filled ravioli purses
    parboiled new potatoes
    1/2 lb slab bacon trimmed of fat and cut into cubes
    garlic
    three carrots cut into big slices
    two bunches of kale
    fresh thyme
    heavy cream
    romano cheese
    red pepper flakes

    Basically I threw everything together and made something between a pasta dish and a chowder out of it. It was incredible.

    aimai

  46. 46.

    Yutsano

    Friend who has family in New York says his folks are staying dry in the Bronx. His mom has a house on higher ground so they’re all good.

  47. 47.

    Another Halocene Human

    @gbear: they went to human interest stories with random conservative entitled white old men

    Wha? Please elaborate. I didn’t realize you could have that kind of human interest story, pace The Daily Show’s Samantha Bee and Jason Jones investigative report segments.

  51. 51.

    geg6

    Well, as is the usual, Sandy is all about Andrew Sullivan. He’s put up “A View Through My Window” with a sad little candle in front of it. Andy doesn’t have any electricity. And yet he posts anyway.

  52. 52.

    ranchandsyrup

    Cole, my wife and I were having the same conversation earlier today when we were rooting for something bad but not too bad to befall these to-be regional emmy nominees. Hilarious!

  55. 55.

    El Cid

    The horses have fewer beachfront investments, so they should be okay as long as they made sure to have enough set aside in inland accounts.

  56. 56.

    James E. Powell

    Meanwhile, in an office in Boston, the Romney/Ryan Oppo Team is hunkered down, desperately in search of any factoid that they can use to make it all Obama’s fault.

  57. 57.

    Felonius Monk

    I understand that at least part of WVA is under blizzard watch. Cole, I hope you are not expecting your mom to shovel you out!

  59. 59.

    Citizen_X

    She just loves it, and will watch for hours in the hopes that one of these jackasses will get knocked over by the wind or water.

    So, is it safe to assume she also comes over to watch you clean house?

  62. 62.

    Mnemosyne

    @gnomedad:

    I dunno — the baby looks like she’s getting a little seasick in there. I’m guessing that a load of baby vomit would not enhance the costume.

  66. 66.

    pseudonymous in nc

    @efgoldman:

    There must be one big-ass generator in the basement.

    That’s where all the transmitters are, so yeah. They also have a deal to source their regular power from renewable sources.

    Friends in the E/W Village are without power, but away from the flooding. Makes my day (two hour blackout, a few brownouts, lots of logs on the fire) feel pretty charmed.

  68. 68.

    ulee

    I think Ladyfriend is Cole’s John Shooter. Ladyfriend is Cole and Cole is Ladyfriend. This dates back to the accident that had Cole(Ladyfriend)tossing flares and twisting open a carhood to disconnect the battery. Standing on a curb, Ladyfriend(Cole) witnessed this Spiderman act of bravery, and thus was created and fell for our superhero. Still, I wish Cole (Ladyfriend) all the happiness in the world.

  70. 70.

    khead

    @efgoldman:

    Unfortunately I can’t touch the trees behind the house – common wetlands. I only worry about it when the winds get REALLY crazy like tonight. Otherwise it’s nice having the trees close to the house. I will, of course, take that “nice” part back if some tree whacks my deck and master bedroom overnight.

  72. 72.

    PeteH

    I remember when Gloria pounded PA in 1985. We were watching one of the TV channels which had some moron on top of a building in Atlantic City reporting on how windy it all was, and will you look at those jackasses down there on the boardwalk. We switched channels and, would you believe it, it was the jackasses on the boardwalk commenting on how moronic the guys on top of the building were. I think they eventually disappeared up each others slickers.

  75. 75.

    Spatula

    @Ladyfriend:

    I am quite happy snug under a quilt with milk and Oreos watching Boardwalk Empire, and I think I will wisely refrain from further remark about the storm or John’s mother, except to say how lovely the apple crisp was that she sent over.

    Tart!

  79. 79.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    Chris Christie is sure doing a great job of making President Obama look even more Presidential! Mitt has to be grinding his teeth listening to that.

    I’m sure “Walter Mitty” Rmoney can afford any need for dental work that may arise from this malady.

  81. 81.

    Concerned Citizen

    I wonder if Cole can relinquish enough control to lady friend. Living alone is easy. Living with concessions is harder.

    As-salamu alaykum brother.

  83. 83.

    the Conster

    In my little town west of Boston 95% of the power is out, EXCEPT FOR ME, BITCHEZ! The generator is cooking with gas, all the lights are on, and everybody’s home. SUCK IT HURRICANE LOSERS!

    I can say that now after being on the other side looking on in envy for more storms than I can count. Husband bought a kick ass generator after Irene, and that’s all she wrote. Heh.

  84. 84.

    West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.)

    @gnomedad: Excellent costume! Thanks for a tiny dose of mirth on a scary night for a lot of people…. The alien itself is on display at the Science Fiction Museum in Seattle. Up close, it is quite frightening.

  88. 88.

    The Dangerman

    @Linda Featheringill:

    Really? Who needs a coma?

    I saw my error right away and figured who would see it if I corrected it right away; well, I knew there would be at least one, so I did the ETA. I’ll blame it on Sandy Overload (some of the pics in Manhattan are rather amazing).

  89. 89.

    taoseno

    from the Twitter machine

    Atrios ‏

    if @ johngcole doesn’t stop talking about his imaginary canadian girlfriend I’m voting for romney

  90. 90.

    Todd

    Fuck. Now I want him to die. Poor, poor hedge fund assholes, can’t play the casinos, or make short term investments based on jobs reports in order to manipulate the election.

  91. 91.

    Todd

    Fuck. Now I want him to die. Poor, poor hedge fund assholes, can’t play the cas!nos, or make short term investments based on jobs reports in order to manipulate the election.
    Reply

  92. 92.

    Comrade Mary

    @Spatula: No, crisp! Jesus Hopscotching Christ, get your desserts sorted out.

    I need cookies, but I can’t bake any until the yogurt in the barely-warm oven is set.

  99. 99.

    Mike E

    Irene smacked our OBX right thru wild horse country, and they did what they always do–survive. I visited Cape Lookout soon after and they were right friendly, hanging out in the open as if to say, “You ain’t nuthin’..%@#& tourists.” Saw one scratch its neck with a hind hoof like a dog, pretty relaxed there on the flattened dunes.

  100. 100.

    asiangrrlMN

    Sessy times in the Cole household! I like your ladyfriend, Cole (as if that matters) AND your mom. They’ll keep you in check.

    Obligatory, TUUUUUUUUUNCHIE!

  101. 101.

    Anne Laurie

    @cathyx: Careful — Cole is probably tech-savvy enough to track you down from your IP address and show up on your doorstep to strangle you.

    But not while Ladyfriend is still in town, of course.

  102. 102.

    burnspbesq

    @Suffern ACE:

    I’ll be amazed if there is anything left standing on Long Beach Island tomorrow morning.

    The Downtheshore that I know from my teens and 20s is going, and it ain’t coming back.

  103. 103.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: I demand proof that our feline overlord is safe and sound. Preferably with video of long stroking by Ladyfriend.

    Hi hon. I r pooped. But in a good way.

  109. 109.

    gogol's wife

    It was scary here today with lots of wind, but what really freaked me out was when my giant cat Louis spent most of the day under the armchair in the living room. I figured he knew with his superior cat sense that the house was going to be blown away. But since about 6:00 he’s been out and about and acting normal, and the wind has died down (I hope for good!), and we haven’t lost power yet so I still don’t know if the generator works or not, but I’m happy not to find out for a while. Like efgoldman, we have invested in a lot of tree care, so fingers crossed.

  110. 110.

    PurpleGirl

    I opened one of bedroom windows. The rain has stopped but the wind is still high. I closed the window real quick when the curtains were being sucked out. (With the “new” windows we put in three years ago, I don’t hear rain and wind as I once did, so I have to open a window to check out the conditions.)

  112. 112.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @ranchandsyrup: There was one on last night boardcasting from Ocean City MD wearing a pair of yellow safety goggles the unit manager had given her, & she was sooo glad–the wind was blasting sand in her face & she could not have done the report without them. That’s as close to getting blown off the beach as anything I’ve seen so far.

    In fact I’m amazed that it’s coming onto 11 PM & the power is still on here in Bawlmer Merlin, Hon…

  113. 113.

    BruceFromOhio

    Dark and stormy night in the Buckeye. Had a power blink about an hour ago, accompanied by the big pop of a transformer blowing out. The circuit for the neighbors across the street is now down, and they are on candlepower. Concerned that all the repair crews went to PA and NJ, leaving the bench empty. The rain and wind have increased steadily over the last six hours, no end in sight.

    There was a big ominous crack from the back yard just a bit ago that got me and MrsFromOhio out of our stupor – a quick tour has nothing falling on the house, but I think its only a matter of time before we go dark.

    Serendipity: the tree crews were out all last week taking out the ash trees killed by the borers last year. Firewood for everyone!

    Everybody stay safe, stay in port, and don’t forget to vote.

  114. 114.

    Narcissus

    Hey Cole if Ladyfriend turns out to be a visiting cousin we’re all going to be real weirded out

  115. 115.

    Michael G

    You know who would have been great about the horses in this situation? The former head of the International Arabian Horse Association. They should have made him head of FEMA.

  116. 116.

    Corner Stone

    @Spatula:

    So is “Heather” the alleged woman who accompanied ABL to the convention with Cole?

    I’ve read this question several times now…

  117. 117.

    Comrade Mary

    Mother FUCKER. I cannot believe this.

    BREAKING NEWS: 10:21 PM This just over the radio – report of main building of Coney Island Hospital is on fire. Units are trying to respond but are reporting that streets surrounding the hospital are flooded and un-passable.
    __
    EDIT: 10:31 PM. FDNY is reporting that Coney Island Hosptial is surrounded by “three to four feet of water.”
    __
    EDIT: 10:33 PM. Reader James W is reporting that “Ocean Parkway from Ave W south as far as I can see, is flooded. There is a huge emergency response.”
    __
    EDIT: 10:41 PM. FDNY is reporting that they are unable to access Coney Island Hospital at this time. Dispatch responded with “no boats available.”

  118. 118.

    Anne Laurie

    @efgoldman: Near the Rte. 93/128 intersection. It’s an elderly residential appendix in a commercial/light-industrial neighborhood, so we get quicker response from NStar servicing their bidniz customers.

  120. 120.

    the Conster

    @ulee:

    Nothing is better than watching other people’s misfortune FROM MY TEEVEE IN MY LIT UP LIVING ROOM BECAUSE I CAN! COME AND GET ME ZOMBIE MACHINES!! WOOT!!

  125. 125.

    Comrade Mary

    I’ve heard about NYU Hospital as well, but I’m still looking for confirmation of Coney Island (I did say I couldn’t believe it.) All I’m seeing is a bunch of Twitter accounts, blogs and the freakin Times of India quoting my source, who is now backing up and saying that the fire is “unconfirmed”.

  127. 127.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @lacp:

    “Walter Mitty” Rmoney’s cyborg came with gold teeth and that’s some soft stuff. His engineers warned his cyborg brain but the cyborg knew better. That can happen when a poorly designed program running on a shitty computer takes over.

    I heard that Rmoney runs on a RISK processor.

  130. 130.

    Corner Stone

    @Ladyfriend: Why? Spatula was asking about someone who clearly isn’t you, and I made a very neutral grammar related comment in response to him.
    What’s the issue?

  132. 132.

    Randy P

    For those of you wondering why these idiot reporters keep standing in horrible weather giving live reports…

    Dave Barry did a hilarious commentary on that in his novel Tricky Business, which takes place in South Florida (of course) during a hurricane.

    When the dust settles, there are only four fatalities, all of them reporters standing in the same puddle of water to comment on the rising waters and downed power lines. “We’re here on the site where WXYZ reporter NNN was killed only minutes ago, and [ZAP!]”

  135. 135.

    Thymezone

    What is going on with the Wild Horse’s Asses of Teague Island?

    They are making Romney campaign phone calls until the power goes off.

  137. 137.

    Rich C.

    I just saw the video of the facade collapse in Chelsea. All I can think is, “I wonder what Sully is doing?”

  138. 138.

    Hob

    Stupid cell phones, I hate them. My dear friend in Manhattan is stuck in a little apartment with nothing to do but keep the dog from freaking out, and we had to just send a couple text messages instead of talking because even though the power isn’t out there, it might be at any minute and she has to keep the phone batteries full. Our gadgets, so convenient & so fragile.

  139. 139.

    Randy P

    @Hob: It’s gotten much worse since the introduction of smart phones. I love having the web at my fingertips, but my wife’s cheapo phone keeps a charge for 4 days and I have to recharge my droid 1-2 times every day.

  140. 140.

    Hob

    @efgoldman: Yeah. Con Ed is calling it a “substation equipment failure”, presumably transformer explosion. When those things blow it’s pretty dramatic. No injuries reported, and apparently the plant workers have been evacuated by FDNY.

  141. 141.

    eemom

    @ cathyx

    Yeah, but only cuz Hannibal Lector was unavailable.

    I, um, hope you don’t have your heart set on a career with matchdot.

  143. 143.

    someguy

    So it’s a complete horrorshow in NYC. People are going to be shocked in the AM when they see the news coverage, and at the number of deaths, and there’s going to be calls for that Republican Bloomberg’s head. Odds on, his disaster response turns out to be as bad as his disaster prep work. You’re doin’ a heck of a job, Bloomie.

  144. 144.

    John Cole

    I love that I have a friend from undergrad come for a visit and the speculation goes crazy on this blog. Time for some more secksytime posts to keep trolling the website.

  150. 150.

    Jay C

    @someguy:

    I don;t know what news you’ve been scanning, but so far in NYC, the disaster response(s) – AND the preparation – have been as good as one might expect given that:

    A) Sandy was/is an exceptionally large/strong/widespread storm
    B) the sheer number of people who live in the affected area
    C) the built-up density and development of said area

    So far, the regional death toll (ex-New Jersey, AFAICT) is just six people: four by falling trees, one by electrocution from downed lines, one undetermined. Not bad considering that 9-10 million folks live hereabouts.

    And: like him or not (and I don’t FWIW), Mayor Mike (the putz) hasn’t fumbled this job: as, apparently, neither have Chris Christie (fat pig), Andrew Cuomo (moron) or Dannel Malloy (nonentity): Hurricane Katrina seems to have been that rare natural disaster that officials have actually learned (and applied) lessons from.

  151. 151.

    Corner Stone

    @ulee:

    Ask Cole. Cole, why would you do that?

    I’m not really sure, and I don’t mean to be rude, but he’s more than kinda creeping me out.

  152. 152.

    Ivan Ivanovich Renko

    Lost all power here (about 5 klicks from the Pro Football Hall of Fame) about 45 minutes ago… no CPAP, no sleep. We’ll see how long the iPad lasts.

  153. 153.

    Ivan Ivanovich Renko

    Lost all power here (about 5 klicks from the Pro Football Hall of Fame) about 45 minutes ago… no CPAP, no sleep. We’ll see how long the iPad lasts.

  154. 154.

    4jkb4ia

    My husband’s the same way. I was feeding him information from the NYT liveblog and his response was sheer awe. I also think he watched the whole report from CBS this evening.

  155. 155.

    Phoenician in a time of Romans

    @TooManyJens:

    She’s gonna burn this place down.

    Well, when I heard John had a special ladyfriend, I formed two alternate theories about her. And since she’s posting, she’s not blind, so she must have the disposition of an angel instead…

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