Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Americans barely caring about Afghanistan is so last month.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Let there be snark.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

The revolution will be supervised.

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

T R E 4 5 O N

Infrastructure week. at last.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

I really should read my own blog.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Tick tock motherfuckers!

You are here: Home / Open Threads / “Enough About Me. What Do You Think Of My Hair?”*

“Enough About Me. What Do You Think Of My Hair?”*

by | 207 Comments

This post is in: 

I know this is shooting fish in a barrel, but Andrew — really?

On a personal level, my wonderful introduction to New York City continues. We’ve had no power since Sunday night, and no idea when that might end…

I’m blogging today from a midtown Starbucks, where every available electrical outlet is being used by displaced downtowners. The atmosphere around me is probably like rush-hour in Calcutta. I want to thank my colleagues, all of whom have electric power, for doing such an amazing job yesterday and today. And my love to New York City, which has instantly plunged me from the developed world into a pitch black and increasingly cold Halloween. I keep saying to myself: It Gets Better.

Well, it cannot get any worse, can it? Can it?

Does one need to add anything?

Ah well, perhaps just a little.  Just to repeat the obvious:

Dude.  Your new home town just experienced a four meter storm surge on top of a full-moon high tide driven by hurricane force winds sweeping through a low lying port.  That doesn’t happen very often.  When it does bad things follow…but it’s not personal.  God — not yours, not anyone’s — doesn’t actually care about you enough to gin up a regional disaster just for the comedy gold to come from watching you kvetch about New York.

And as for that Calcutta nonsense?

Here I lose my sh*t just a little.  Mr. Sullivan, you child of first world ease:  you have no f**king idea how insanely fortunate you are.

I would go off more on that — but the sheer embarrassment of having to be the person who wrote something that purely inane is sufficient punishment, I think.

*quote stolen from a long ago ATT Nynex Yellow Pages ad, back when we had Yellow Pages. I can’t remember what heading they were punning upon, but maybe someone here does…ETA:  and somebody does.  The heading was “Vanity Cases,” and  here’s the video. Thanks to The Pale Scot.

Image: Auguste Borget, An Indian  Mosque on the Hooghly River near Calcutta, 1846.

Reader Interactions

207Comments

  3. 3.

    beltane

    If only Sully had chosen to live in the East Village instead of Midtown. He would be in utter hysterics right now.

  4. 4.

    YellowJournalism

    A while ago someone was listing a bunch of Fuck You quotes. Please add in a big Fuck You to this asshole for that ignorant Calcutta line. (While sitting in a goddamn Starbucks! Really?!)

  5. 5.

    shortstop

    I know the paintings are your motif, but I might have passed up this rather serene and dreamy one in favor of a photograph this time. This, this or this, perhaps?

  7. 7.

    Barbara

    I was without power for 104 long hours in July, after the derecho — my house was like an oven. However, considering what has happened in NY and NJ over the last three days, I would feel lucky were I living in one of those states and my primary inconvenience at this point in time was to be without power.

    I have never been to India but I am pretty sure that even on this day Manhattan is nothing like Calcutta.

  8. 8.

    poco

    What happened? Sully misplaced his thesaurus? So he went for a trite cliche for overcrowded? Fuck Sully!

  9. 9.

    efroh

    I can’t be too mad at him. He obviously misses DC. Missing the place that you feel is your own is a really hard thing to get over. I do agree that it’s in awful taste that he’s posting this now, of all times.

  11. 11.

    Chris

    God—not yours, not anyone’s—doesn’t actually care about you enough to gin up a regional disaster just for the comedy gold to come from watching you kvetch about New York.

    Oh, I wouldn’t say that. God did, after all, gin up the cold-blooded murder of every firstborn citizen in a Middle Eastern country, which was after and on top of hitting it with an array of plagues that probably made our 1990s sanctions on Iraq look like a humanitarian relief effort. All to punish a political leader that these people had had no part in choosing, when, being God and all, he could just have zapped the guy with a kidney stone or something and had Moses tell him he wouldn’t remove him until all the slaves were free.

    And Hercules thought the pagan gods were “petty and cruel and plagued mankind with suffering.”

  12. 12.

    trollhattan

    Bette Midler as CC Bloom: “But enough about me. What about you? What do you think of me?”

  13. 13.

    DonkeyKong

    “We’ve had no power since Sunday night, and no idea when that might end…”

    Well, you know who else loved power…….

  14. 14.

    gex

    And, if we consider a previous post at the same time we consider his incessant whining about himself, we would see that the various ideas that scientists wanted to implement to protect the city would have been poo-pooed by him. Uncertain science, minimal government spending, and on and on.

    It’s too late to ask him about those things now, of course. Like all conservatives, it’s good when it helps him.

  17. 17.

    Bloix

    Those fucking downtowners, horning in on his midtown Starbucks to plug into the outlets that belong to midtowners like him. Go back to downtown, downtowners!

  18. 18.

    Balconesfault

    Wow – all that extra light from the full moon must really cause a big jump in the high tide level!

    Otherwise, good stuff. I’m reminded of a comedy routine I heard the other day, where the comedian was mocking people who went on and on that they actually had to suffer through their plane sitting on the tarmac for 45 minutes before departure, as if that was the worst fate in the world.

  19. 19.

    BruceFromOhio

    What a maroon. I’d love to set his sorry ass down in Calcutta during a power outage in monsoon season, and see what he picks to complain about first.

    Why his links make it onto these pages so often is a mystery. The guy is an unrepentant dickhead in a world chock full o’dickheads.

  20. 20.

    jp

    That Calcutta line is right up there with Ms. Megan “Waiting-on-line-to-buy-my-Iphone-is-just-like-being-in-a-refugee-camp” Mc Ardle.
    Wankers.

  21. 21.

    Anibundel

    You know, if he ever pulls his head out of his ass, he’ll realize all this kvetching and kvelling is proof that he’s the perfect New Yorker.

  23. 23.

    taylormattd

    Once again, more evidence that DougJ is ALWAYS right to shun that piece of shit.

    Because let’s face it, that’s what Sully is: a piece of shit.

    I mean honestly, my 17 year old is less of a narcissist. For Christ’s sake, Karen Walker from Will & Grace was probably less focused on herself than Andrew fucking Sullivan.

    Fuck him.

  26. 26.

    Triassic Sands

    This is just “standard Andy,” which is why I don’t understand why anyone bothers to read Sullivan on a regular basis (Unless once a year, every year, counts as “regular.”)

    No, Andrew, it couldn’t get any worse.

    And this is probably just the excuse Sullivan needs to switch his vote to Romney…because we all know Romney knows how to fight hurricanes and nothing like this will ever happen to a country guarded by Super Mitt.

  27. 27.

    Ohio Mom

    There’s a reason the song goes, “If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.”

    The unspoken corollary being of course, that not everyone is cut out to make it in NYC, though there may be places they do just fine in. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.

  28. 28.

    BGinCHI

    Sullivanism:

    Made an omelet this morning and to my horror forgot to put cheese in.

    It was like Calcutta.

  29. 29.

    Lit3Bolt

    Sullivan gives dillettantes, sybarites, namby-pambys, “kept (wo)men,” dandys, and posers a bad name.

    You have to try to be this self-absorbed.

  31. 31.

    Violet

    Calcutta has a working subway. I’ve been on it. It even has air conditioning. Andrew Sullivan doesn’t know what he’s talking about…not that that’s anything new.

  32. 32.

    donnah

    I knew a guy whose wife was expecting their first child and he KNEW it would be a boy, it just HAD to be a boy. Well, she was a girl, and when she was delivered, he stormed out of the delivery room.

    The doctor joined him later after the guy’s wife told him he was disappointed that they had a baby girl instead of a boy. She was crushed.

    The doctor took the guy by the elbow and guided him to the pediatric ICU, and pointed out several tiny infants who were fighting for their lives. The doctor left him there.

    The guy rushed back to the nursery, hugged his wife, held his new daughter and apologized for being such an idiot.

    Someone needs to take Mr Sullivan by the elbow to see the devastation in the rest of the city…

  34. 34.

    dmsilev

    The Atlantic managed to rid themselves of both McArdle *and* Sullivan in a fairly short time period. Well done, lads.

    (of course, they did hire them in the first place, so slightly less well done on that end)

  37. 37.

    Ohio Mom

    @Anibundel: The perfect NYers do complain a lot (I was born in The Bronx, so I know) but they also take a lot of pride in knowing the way around whatever the issue is — parking may be impossible but they know the one block where there’s always a space, and so on. Don’t get the feeling Sully is there yet, if he ever gets there.

  38. 38.

    shortstop

    @Balconesfault: I volunteer a few hours a week at an institution devoted to the arts. Because I do this on a weekday morning (I own my business and can shift my hours to a certain extent), most of the other people volunteering at this time are retirees or never-employed, unlike at my evening or weekend volunteer gigs.

    Anyway, this chick from Barrington (Chicagoans will know what I mean) comes in the other day complaining about OUR [ROLL EYES] PRESIDENT who’d HELD UP TRAFFIC for a POLITICAL FUNDRAISER at some point recently. (Keep in mind that Obama disrupts traffic really minimally due to using Marine One to get from O’Hare to a point close to his house.) She goes on to fret that she was so discombobulated by having to sit in traffic for an hour that she “went home and cried for hours. I couldn’t eat; I couldn’t sleep that night.” It was all I could do not to grab her and drag her to the nearest intertubes to show her what real inconvenience looks like around the world.

  39. 39.

    Cermet

    What an utter asswipe – and yes, andrew, I’m talking to you! What a stupid dumb ass – do you even have the slightest idea what thrid world living is really like? Lost of power, that’s what you think it is!? Try not having clean water! Now, how long would New York exist without clean water to drink and water to flush away sweage? A few days at best and then it would then be abandoned. We aren’t adding the next issue many in third world cities face – food.

    Get a handle on your dick (ask your husband or is he the wife?) where it is and stop this silly behavior. God, what a loser.

  40. 40.

    kathy a.

    i swear to dog that under this post just a minute ago was an ad: “recovery, not dependency.” yep, for the big R/R team, one of whom was enormously helpful during the storm by having his people buy a lot of canned goods for a photo op, then promising to truck them to disaster areas — because that is totally not what disaster areas need, especially if we’re talking infrastructure. (the other one, i guess, is still washing clean pans someplace, but with cold water.)

  41. 41.

    Violet

    @BGinCHI: The yard guys didn’t show up to mow the lawn today and I have to wait until tomorrow for them to do it.

    It was like Calcutta.

  42. 42.

    Rob Lll

    @Barbara:

    I actually *have* been to Calcutta — spent a week there last year for a film shoot. The arrival lobby in the airport alone would be probably be enough to kill Sully.

  44. 44.

    pseudonymous in nc

    “I love me, what’s your second choice?” is my preferred variant.

    @Rob Lll:

    I actually have been to Calcutta—spent a whole week there last year for a film shoot. The arrival lobby in the airport alone would be probably be enough to kill Sully.

    I still remember arrivals at Delhi, 20+ years on from my one visit to India. Oh yes.

  46. 46.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    @DonkeyKong:

    Well, you know who else loved power…

    Power corrupts.

    Well, technically DC power corrupts. AC power alternately corrupts and enlightens, corrupts and enlightens, corr…

  47. 47.

    Warren Terra

    Sully really has embraced self-parody as an art form, or perhaps as a philosophy of life.

  49. 49.

    Balconesfault

    @shortstop: The comedian’s point was “you’re about to get into a big tube that’s going to fly you across the country in about 5-6 hours … a trip that would take you 50-60 hours to drive, and that would have taken you 50-60 days to traverse just a few generations ago, and that’s if you didn’t end up with an arrow through your head!”

  52. 52.

    gelfling545

    Yes, Mr. Sullivan, it could be worse. You or someone you care about could be dead or your entire neighborhood could have burned down or you could be a low income worker whose job doesn’t pay “personal days” for when you have no way to get to work or you could have had to be evacuated from a hospital while already seriously ill. For a person who is a writer by trade he really seems deficient in the imagination department.

  54. 54.

    TheMightyTrowel

    @YellowJournalism: i think that was me. i have never read much Sullivan, but for you:

    fuck Andrew Sullivan, fuck his overrated blog, fuck his sense of entitlement and FUCK his Fucking creepy psycho sexual thing about big daddy politicians. Fuck Margaret Thatcher, also too.

  55. 55.

    BonnyAnne

    I have always wanted to go to Calcutta, but I have no illusions as to it being anything like NY in any circumstances.

    Outstanding.

    Also outstanding? That painting! Man do I ever love mid-19th century paintings of India from the British perspective. (It’s a fairly specific sort of love, I suppose.)

  57. 57.

    Warren Terra

    @BGinCHI:

    Sullivanism:
    __
    Made an omelet this morning and to my horror forgot to put the wrong cheese in.
    __
    It was like Calcutta Ricotta.

    FTFY

    ETA OK, maybe it’s no longer a Sullivanism after I “fixed” it. Still, I couldn’t resist.

  58. 58.

    greenergood

    Yeah – my 82-yr-old mom in Westchester is still without power or phone, and I’ve not been able to talk/email with her from here in Scotland – but I’m flying in to Newark on Friday – and then I’ll spend the next four days trying to help her out, while she bitches about how horrible Obama is, and how that nice Mitt Romney will heal the world, until Election Day. And then I’ll spend the next three weeks either listening to her bitch about Obama winning or crowing that Rmoney ‘s won. And then, mercifully, I’ll be released by going back to Scotland. So either Sully can take a hike, or he can visit with my mom – and I’ll piss off to the pub, or bar, or whatever you call the place that gives you booze rather than that bloody Starbuck’s coffee that Sully likes.
    PS I love my mom; I’m supposed to – otherwise I don’t get the ‘daughter’ badge at Girl Scouts.

  64. 64.

    J. Michael Neal

    Meh. I’ll give Crazy Andy a pass on the Calcutta thing. We all use hyperbole from time to time, some more than others. There are plenty of times he completely loses his mind and thinks something is the greatest disaster ever. My reading is that this isn’t one of them. What we’re witnessing is better described as understandable confirmation bias on the part of BJers.

  66. 66.

    Democrat Partisan Asshole

    I have always wanted to go to Calcutta

    @BonnyAnne: I had to fight down the urge to run back onto the airplane. The unholy trinity of heat, humidity, and stench has to be experienced to be believed.

  67. 67.

    AxelFoley

    @BGinCHI:

    Sullivanism:
    __
    Made an omelet this morning and to my horror forgot to put cheese in.
    __
    It was like Calcutta.

    We should have a contest to see how many of these Sullivanisms we can come up with.

    I was walking down a busy sidewalk and brushed up against a Negro.

    It was like Calcutta.

  71. 71.

    trollhattan

    Audi had beagle poop in the passenger seat so I had to take the Lexus. It was like Calcutta.

  74. 74.

    trollhattan

    My regular waiter, Raphael, had the day off and I got a waitress named Khandi, instead.

    It was like Calcutta.

  76. 76.

    AT

    So he’s sitting in Starbucks using their electricity to power his laptop to update his oh so important blog and complaining that people might be trying to charge their phones to let their loved ones know they are ok.

    What a dick

  77. 77.

    Mike Furlan

    Reposting from elsewhere, the best thing on the internet today:

    For Halloween this year, New York is going as New Orleans.

  79. 79.

    trollhattan

    Also, too, I believe Louis CK has an entire routine about our Sully, called “White peoples’ problems.”

  80. 80.

    Felonius Monk

    Ah yes, the ever irrelevant Sullivan. He must have his computer plugged into his ass, because it seems to me that whenever he farts it appears as a blog post.

  81. 81.

    Violet

    And my love to New York City, which has instantly plunged me from the developed world into a pitch black and increasingly cold Halloween.

    This from the man who is sitting in a Starbucks, probably drinking their hot coffee, and using their electricity to power his laptop. Certainly sounds like the developing world to me.

  82. 82.

    Felonius Monk

    Ah yes, the ever irrelevant Sullivan. He must have his computer plugged into his ass, because it seems to me that whenever he farts it appears as a blog post.

  83. 83.

    quannlace

    “We’ve had no power since Sunday night, and no idea when that might end…”

    \

    And where exactly was that? Methinks Sullivan is padding his misery-sheet just a tad. The real hurricane mahem didn’t start until Monday.
    *******
    Last year, almost to the day, we lost power due to that freak Halloween blizzard. For five days. Lots of folks, especially in Conecticutt, had it out for waaaay much longer. It was unpleasant and inconvenient. But you find ways to get through it.
    I told people that it was a lot like camping. Except with camping, if you don’t like it, you can always go home. But here , you’re already home.
    So Mr. Sullivan. Get over yourself in your Starbucks. Be glad you don’t have to worry about taking care of elderly relatives or little children, and your biggest worry is charging your laptop.

    Ass

  86. 86.

    Robert

    80% of my town still doesn’t have power. We’re 40 minutes outside of NYC. The children are losing a week of school and so many major roads are closed that the grocery stores and gas stations can’t get new supplies.

    But no, this brave man who can walk to a warm place with electricity, Internet, and fresh food-like substances is the real victim.

  87. 87.

    Handy

    It just cannot be true because The really bad effect was on me. I’m nowhere near any damage but me, me ME!

  88. 88.

    greenergood

    @trollhattan: Yep, it’s been the same script for thirty years – but Ms Ephron knew how to market it. Am still astonished at how unfamiliar Mr Sully is with the workings of the natural world, or even New York City.

  89. 89.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    I posted a comment to this thread, and of course WordPress ate it, and then when I came back there were 4 copies of it all crowding around and jostling the other comments and getting into their olfactory space and such.

    It was like Calcutta

  90. 90.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    No one appreciated my “Geraldo’s Paradise” Halloween costume of a hoodie with bullet holes in it.

    Fucking Calcutta.

  92. 92.

    WereBear

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ: Well, technically DC power corrupts. AC power alternately corrupts and enlightens, corrupts and enlightens, corr…

    Good one! I’m still laughing.

    I don’t think he has the right NY vibe. In The City you figure a way around it, laugh in the face of danger, and go have an alcoholic beverage.

    Bitching in Starbucks is soooooo DC!

  93. 93.

    Violet

    The monarch caterpillars are eating all the milkweed, leaving nothing but bare stalks.

    My garden is like Calcutta.

  95. 95.

    Viva BrisVegas

    The comparison of New York to Calcutta is not flattering. For Calcutta.

    By the way it’s now Kolkata, the Raj is over.

  99. 99.

    Kay S

    Your headline refers to a cute line of commercials for the Yellow Pages illustrating various headings found therein. This one, I believe, was “Vanity Cases.” Another one of those was, “Both my Jaguars are in the shop—I HATE that!” They both sound like Sully.

  104. 104.

    BGinCHI

    Cheers to all for the hilarious Calcutta Sullyisms.

    Shit, you guys are funny. And if you weren’t…well, you know what that would be like.

  105. 105.

    Comrade Mary

    @RedCon: Shame about the typo, but we all do appreciate you attempt to clearly label your creative work. Well done!

    Retroactive Continuity.
    __
    Reframing past events to serve a current plot need. When the inserted events work with what was previously stated, it’s a Revision; when they outright replace it, it’s a Rewrite. The ideal retcon clarifies a question alluded to without adding excessive new questions. In its most basic form, this is any plot point that was not intended from the beginning. The most preferred use is where it contradicts nothing, even though it was changed later on.
    __
    While the term comes from comic books, dating to All-Star Squadron #18 in 1983 and shortened to “retcon” by the end of the decade, the technique is much older. Often, it’s used to serve a new plot by changing its context; however, it’s also done when the creators are caught writing a story that violates continuity and isn’t very plausible. …
    __
    See also Ass Pull, which is something that was not properly set up before it is sprung on the audience.

    Let’s have a big round of applause for our new friend Ass Pull!

  106. 106.

    Shawn in ShowMe

    Whenever I tune in to a Cosby show reunion, Lisa Bonet is always a no-show. It’s like being forced to live in a slum in Calcutta.

  107. 107.

    trollhattan

    @RedCon:
    M’kay, if you’re uttering “tea party” in 2012 you’ve verified you’re a spoof.

    DougJ hitting the sherry?

  108. 108.

    Carl Nyberg

    @RedCon:

    So, are you admitting that Republicans can’t persuade 50% of the eligible voters, so the GOP is required to disenfranchise eligible voters to win?

    Obama might not be perfect. But he’s smart enough to beat a team of crackers, Mormons and millionaires who bet the farm on voter suppression tactics.

  111. 111.

    BonnyAnne

    @Democrat Partisan Asshole:

    Ah. That’s a bit discouraging, I suppose. But I really really really want to see the pre-Raj colonial architecture, so maybe I can tough it out for a couple days before retreating to anywhere else.

  113. 113.

    ThresherK

    I’m blogging today from a midtown Starbucks, where every available electrical outlet is being used by displaced downtowners.

    How does he know that? I’ve read native NooYawkuhz remark on how every single outlet and seat at Manhattan Starbuckses seem to be taken up all the time anyway. I haven’t been often, but those amenities in NYC Sbux seem to be at a premium no matter the hour, day, or week.

    And a bunch of us suburban Nutmeggers did this after the storm of last October 29th, for about a week, and we managed to not compare it to Calcutta.

  114. 114.

    Violet

    @BonnyAnne: India is fantastic and crazy. It’s the only country I’ve visited that attacks all your senses and won’t let go. It’ll make you crazy, but you may also fall in love with it. Be prepared to be overwhelmed, but go anyway. If you want to see that architecture, go. It’s worth it.

  115. 115.

    gex

    I think the point someone made earlier really shows just what kind of tool he is. People may be charging their phones to contact their loved ones. Sorry if that disturbs your blogging, dumbfuck.

    At some point, self-centered, willful ignorance just has to be considered evil.

  116. 116.

    YellowJournalism

    My son is potty training and had a poo accident this morning. He stepped in the mess as I tried to remove his underpants. Then he started walking around the bathroom leaving little shit prints on the tile. I spent my first waking hour of the day scrubbing down the floor, toilet, and bathtub. (Don’t ask.)

    It was just like…yeah, not going there.

  120. 120.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @gex: When I got my SUV back from valet parking, someone had moved the seat back. Not only did I have to slide it forward again, but I also had to adjust the rear-view mirror! It was exactly like Calcutta!!

  121. 121.

    ThresherK

    @ThresherK: Yeah, at my own post: My wording was unclear. I’ve never been to Calcutta, and nobody’s given me any firsthand stories. It just rankled me as a pretty ill-considered comparison for him to make considering how provincial I am (lifelong resident of CT) and how well-traveled he must be. Is he that clueless about insulting folks, or does he have a grudge about the Indian subcontinent.

    Espresso, heat, electricity, someplace to sit is “it can’t get any worse than this”? How many days has he been without all his comforts, again? He should go to places in Vermont, or on the coast, still not yet rebuilt from Irene.

  122. 122.

    JPL

    Well I’m sitting here waiting for the six trick or treaters that I expect. This is not like Calcutta.

  123. 123.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    I don’t know if anyone has posted this yet but OMG it’s hilarious!

    The Inner Mitt!

    I thought the commercials with Joe were great but this is a fucking riot!

  124. 124.

    JPL

    Well I’m sitting here waiting for the six trick or treaters that I expect. This is not like Calcutta.

  125. 125.

    Shawn in ShowMe

    When I ordered Chinese this evening, the lady on the phone had an accent. It was just like Calcutta.

  126. 126.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Bunny Bixler and I were in the semi-finals – the very semi-finals, mind you – of the ping-pong tournament at the club and this ghastly thing happened. We were both playing way over our heads and the score was 29-28. And we had this really terrific volley and I stepped back to get this really terrific shot. And I stepped on the ping-pong ball! I just squashed it to bits. And then Bunny and I ran to the closet of the game room to get another ping-pong ball and the closet was locked! Imagine? We had to call the whole thing off. Well, it was ghastly. It was just exactly like Calcutta!

  127. 127.

    Shawn in ShowMe

    When I ordered Chinese this evening, the lady on the phone had an accent. It was just like Calcutta.

  129. 129.

    Shawn in ShowMe

    The Balloon Juice WordPress installation eats our comments on a regular basis. I wonder what blogging software they use in Calcutta?

  130. 130.

    muddy

    @shortstop:

    Anyway, this chick from Barrington…went home and cried for hours. I couldn’t eat; I couldn’t sleep that night.

    Probably she is up crying every night because she lives in Barrington, and not Barrington Hills.

  131. 131.

    Bago

    Jesus jackrabbit Christ on a pogo stick! I’ve never seen a bunch kitten skullfuckers like this crowd get so worked up over hyperbole. Lighten up, Francis.

  132. 132.

    maya

    Perhaps Mr. Sullivan just experienced precognition that his job will be outsourced to India.

    Down in the Punjab
    Down in the Punjab
    It’s tough to find a job when you’re a lower caste slob
    In the Punjab

  133. 133.

    IowaOldLady

    My god, Steve King is a jerk. I don’t live in his district, but I want to go over there and impersonate some dead voters.

  134. 134.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @IowaOldLady:

    My god, Steve King is a jerk. I don’t live in his district, but I want to go over there and impersonate some dead voters.

    He’s prolly just confusing the Jersey shore with Jersey Shore.

  135. 135.

    RedKitten

    I’m blogging today from a midtown Starbucks, where every available electrical outlet is being used by displaced downtowners.

    My god, that poor, poor man! How does he bear it! The agony! The suffering! We’ll have to make sure that Romney sends him some creamed corn and evaporated milk to alleviate his awful, awful plight.

    In all seriousness, people fucking DIED in this, Sully. People have lost their homes and their businesses. So why don’t you shut your self-absorbed, clueless, privileged mouth until you gain a sense of fucking perspective, m’kay?

  136. 136.

    BonnyAnne

    @Violet:

    Excellent. I once wrote a story set in Calcutta in 1840 and was a bit overwhelmed by the city just doing the research! And ever since I’ve wanted to see the old governor’s palace, Maidan Park, the harbors, and walk along the Strand by the Ganges. It sounds like I’ll probably enjoy myself as long as I’m prepared for it. :)

  137. 137.

    trollhattan

    My grandmother lived in his district the second half of her life, and I never once met anybody remotely like him. It’s a puzzle how he got and keeps that seat.

  138. 138.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    I was reading my favorite blog and the pathetic asshole showed up.

    It was like Calcutta.

  139. 139.

    mai naem

    When I went to Cafe Frou Fru today, the maitre d did not greet me. Then to make matters worse, they had only lit one candle. Then to really make me think they didn’t want me there the waiter didn’t offer to sprinkle fresh ground pepper on my fish. Quell horreur!!!
    It was just like that time in Calcutta in 1959.

  140. 140.

    RedKitten

    @Bago: Hyperbole is all well and good, but his timing fucking stinks. Even if it is hyperbole, it’s tacky as fuck to bitch about cell service and hot water when they’re still looking for bodies, I’d say.

  142. 142.

    geg6

    @RedKitten:

    Pretty much every picture he’s shown of NY on his blog today is about how difficult it is for people to get their electronic devices charged. And how afraid he is that NY is now going to be overrun by rats infected by bubonic plague.

    Not a word about all those people in Queens who have lost everything but their lives (and who, by the way, are mostly first responders as I have read that that neighborhood was filled with cops and firefighters and such). Not a word about the dead. Not a word about all of those beach communities in New Jersey and Maryland and Long Island and Connecticut that have been just devastated. Nothing about any of the real suffering brought about by this storm.

    Gah! I get so upset over stuff like this. I can’t think about this whiny rich white boy or I’ll need to punch the wall.

    On a better note, just got a call from the local OFA office and got assigned phone calling for Saturday and will pick up my packet for Tuesday then, too.

  143. 143.

    FlipYrWhig

    Is the “atmosphere” like “rush hour in Calcutta” because everyone is frazzled? Or is he trying to find a cute imperialistic way to say that it smells funny?

  145. 145.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @Dave:

    Roughing the blogger. On this one, at least, let’s leave Sully alooooooone …

    Fuck that. Might as well stop making fun of Tim Fucking Tebow.

  146. 146.

    hoppipolla

    Please tell Mr. Levenson that the Yellow Pages ad that’s the source of this post’s title was built around a pun on the listing, “Vanity Cases.”

    I’m ashamed I know that, actually.

  147. 147.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @geg6:

    Nothing about any of the real suffering brought about by this storm.

    Someone posted an image from the Caribbean on FB earlier today. There are island countries that are suffering as well. But they’re not internationally known tory wankers, so, you know, calcutta.

  148. 148.

    nellcote

    BJers should have their meetup at Sully’s apt. Bring booze and candles! Someone Tweet DougJ!

  151. 151.

    28 Percent

    At the office today, one of the purell dispensers was empty and I had to use the other one down the hall.

    It was exactly like Calcutta.

  153. 153.

    Richard Fox

    A former student of my sister’s and her friend were killed on Monday by a falling tree in Brooklyn while walking the dog. Each was 24 years old. Fuck Andrew Sullivan. Fuck him for this foolishness. Stopped reading him after the 1st debate when he behaved so histrionically and have not gone back. And that’s fine by me.

  154. 154.

    Violet

    Tina Brown probably told Sully no, he can’t come stay at her expensive apartment, so it is exactly like Calcutta for him.

  157. 157.

    JPL

    I have had one darth vader so far and that is certainly not like living in Calcutta. I’m waiting for Godot and once he arrives, my lights will go off.

  158. 158.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @RedKitten:

    We’ll have to make sure that Romney sends him some creamed corn and evaporated milk to alleviate his awful, awful plight.

    You forgot the Marshmallow Fluff, RedKitten! Don’t you know that forgetting the Marshmallow Fluff is like being in Calcutta?

  160. 160.

    Bago

    @geg6: Hey, one of the largest cities in the world just got hit with one of the largest storms in the world, and the death toll is a few dozen. When you are complaining about charging your iPhone and the traffic, that’s a goddamned win in my book.

    The last time this happened we had bodies floating in the streets while the president was fiddling playing a guitar.

    If anything, the contrast between #firstworldproblems and right wing self-reliance macho bullshit should be illustrative of competence in governance.

    Use this example to beat down “government is the problem” arguments.

  163. 163.

    AxelFoley

    @RedCon:

    Just early voted here in Indiana.
    PRESIDENT: ROMNEY
    VP: RYAN
    SENATOR: MURDOCK
    GOVERNOR: PENCE
    CONGRESSMAN: TODD YOUNG
    Didn’t see too many likely Obambi voters at my polling place. Nothing but likely Republicans, lots of Romney/Ryan signs, buttons, and canvassers. Not a pro-Obambi sign to be found. And looooooooooooong lines!

    Just like Calcutta

    And can someone block this schmuck’s i.p. address? Fuck, how many handles does this pigfucker have?

  164. 164.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Violet:

    I was in Calcutta once. The whole time I was there, I kept thinking “OMG! This place is exactly like the 57th Street Starbucks!”

  165. 165.

    AxelFoley

    @BGinCHI:

    Cheers to all for the hilarious Calcutta Sullyisms.

    Wouldn’t be surprised if someone already beat me to this, but I suggest “It was like Calcutta” to be a new tag.

  168. 168.

    JPL

    @Bago: When I watched Christie and Obama give their press conference today, I thought about all the victims of Katrina.

  171. 171.

    garbo

    Survived the storm with power, heat, internet and phone. Didn’t end up using the water I stored in tub tho, so, you know…Calcutta.

  174. 174.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Yutsano:

    :: blank Roz stare ::

    Well, it was simply ghastly.

    I love that movie. I have to see if I can get the book.

    I believe I was about 13 when I read the book. Needless to say, a lot of it went right over my innocent head.

    Trivia: Coral Browne, who played Vera Charles in the Roz Russell movie, was married IRL to Vincent Price.

  177. 177.

    gex

    @AxelFoley: Love it! Well done, sir.

    @Richard Fox: I know. I’m a softie, something like this really hits me. It was hard enough to think about the fact that there would be lots of tragedies like this as this thing was playing out. Ouch.

  181. 181.

    geg6

    @JPL:

    I did, too. It made me both sad and happy. Sad that one of my favorite cities in the world had to go through such a disaster with little help and no leadership whatsoever and happy to see how just a difference in leadership leads to such better outcomes in the face of utter disaster.

    The comparison with W and Co. is just gob smacking.

  182. 182.

    Mnemosyne

    I am slightly concerned that a Republican could be elected as our representative in the California legislature because I live in Glendale, he’s Armenian, and the Democrat is Not Armenian. Gah.

  184. 184.

    dr. bloor

    @RedCon:

    Didn’t see too many likely Obambi voters at my polling place

    That’s because you’re in Indiana, dipshit. If you want to see a fuckton of Obama voters, head east into Ohio.

  185. 185.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @PurpleGirl:

    (One must read this with a Locust Valley Lockjaw accent in mind.)

    My sister is a terrific mimic and used to crack up the whole family by doing a pitch-perfect “Little Glory” routine. Even today, all she has to do is say “Simply ghastly” through her teeth, and I am on the floor helpless with mirth.

  187. 187.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    @srv:

    Honesty, you’ve got me worried now. Has anyone heard from McMegan?

    She’s out of Nepalese Pink Creosote for her fondue. It’s just like Calcutta.

  190. 190.

    honus

    @srv: Yeah, I figured by now we’d have heard how awful it was that she didn’t have power to run her Vitamix and had to make hollandaise with a whisk.

  191. 191.

    MikeJ

    Watched Polanski’s Repulsion this morning. The Shining (in a bastardized version) is on now. The long, long tracking shots were more fun with Deneuve, but man, two great movies.

  193. 193.

    kyle

    Ok, Mr. Levenson’s post is a load of pious crap. Embarrassing that anyone would take it seriously.

    Worst part is the reaction to Sullivan’s little Calcutta comment:

    Here I lose my sh*t just a little. Mr. Sullivan, you child of first world ease: you have no f**king idea how insanely fortunate you are.

    Mr. Levenson, here’s a classic case of “white people’s problem”: reading an Internet post you don’t like. So cut Sullivan a break and go off to meditate about Third World discontent.

    Hey, I’m complaining about an Internet post too! Well yes, but I don’t mind if someone shares a bit about his discomfort and uncertainty during a natural disaster. Some of us aren’t part of the piety racket, thank God.

  195. 195.

    Ed or Edna Dane Defender of Donuts

    Yeah if it were not for this great country Andy Sullivan would have to whore himself out for Viagara … or those AIDS drugs he lives on. For people like him though … he’ll always be Calcutta Dreamin’ on such an Autumn day …

  197. 197.

    nellcote

    No power or water?

    New York Sports Club announced today that it’s opening its doors free of charge to anyone who needs to shower, charge their cell phone, or blow off steam with a stress-relieving run on the treadmill. (We recommend all three.)

    The clubs will be open to the public (local residents 18 and older with photo ID) from today, October 31, until November 14.

    Use http://www.mysportsclubs.com to find a location near you, and here’s a list of the clubs that are currently open:

    http://www.wellandgoodnyc.com/2012/10/31/no-power-or-water-head-to-new-york-sports-club/

  198. 198.

    Lojasmo

    @RedCon:

    No shit. Obama is going to lose Indiana.

    I guess your masturbation about Ohio, PA, VA, CO, and WI is done?

    Hoping for a PV VICTORY now?

    Okay then.

  199. 199.

    Violet

    @kyle: Sullivan has been complaining about New York City since he decided to move there a bit ago. Now, even though he’s lucky because he still has a house (or two–in D.C.–or three–in Provincetown), he can’t seem to stop bitching about being without power in one of his three houses for a day or two. And then, after being lucky enough to access power via the kindness of a local Starbucks, he slams on others (from downtown! The horror!) who he believes are encroaching on his turf.

    No mention of those who lost their homes or lives. No mention of real loss. Just poor, poor Andrew Sullivan who has to walk a few blocks to a Starbucks.

    Maybe if it weren’t part of his me, Me, ME! pattern he might be given a break. It is so he he isn’t.

  200. 200.

    Kerry Reid

    Sully should stick to what he knows. And if you give me a few years, I might come up with what that might be — aside from crass and disgusting race-baiting a la “The Bell Curve,” that is.

  201. 201.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Yutsano:

    Gloria Upson: Miss Charles, I’ve just got to tell you how I adored you in “Mary of Scotland.”

    Vera Charles: Did you dear? That was Helen Hayes.

    SiubhanDuinne: LOL

  202. 202.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @Kerry Reid: “Sully should stick to what he knows.”

    He is, he’s talking about himself while complaining about or ignoring everyone around him. I hope his charger shorts out.

    That ought to reduce him to tears.

  204. 204.

    Rob Lll

    @BonnyAnne:

    I second what Violet said — India is intense and challenging but also rewarding if you’re prepared and open to it. The colonial architecture in Calcutta (or Kolkata — people say both) is extraordinary — some of the buildings have been magnificently restored and others are literally crumbling but in a somehow oddly beautiful way. The food is great and I found the people to be very kind and friendly, particularly when you show any knowledge and/or interest in the history and culture of the place. I hope you make it there someday.

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