Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Someone should tell Republicans that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, or possibly the first.

If rights aren’t universal, they are privilege, not rights.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

How any woman could possibly vote for this smug smarmy piece of misogynistic crap is beyond understanding.

When they say they are pro-life, they do not mean yours.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

The unpunished coup was a training exercise.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Sometimes the world just tells you your cat is here.

The gop is a fucking disgrace.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Rupert, come get your orange boy, you petrified old dinosaur turd.

You are either for trump or for democracy. Pick one.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Hey Washington Post, “Democracy Dies in Darkness” was supposed to be a warning, not a mission statement.

This chaos was totally avoidable.

Disagreements are healthy; personal attacks are not.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Late Night Open Thread

Late Night Open Thread

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Had a long day- personal stuff, vet visits, etc. Rosie is fixed and had her anal glands expressed and I dry heaved while it happened, and then when I was paying the bill, she dropped at least a two lb. deuce on the floor behind me. She’s been acting weird, almost affectionate, so on Monday I scheduled an appointment. Turns out I was on to something. She’s been chipper as can be since the visit.

Made a beef roast with parsnips, turnips, carrots, celery, and onions, and the dogs walked around the house salivating all day. They were right to, as it was awesome.

Other than that, I got nothing. I’ve been super tired the last three days, and every time I go to post someone has already covered the issue.

Off to bed.

Reader Interactions

56Comments

  3. 3.

    Raven

    Just back from Cirque du Soleil Totem in Atlanta. I never fail to be blown away by the creativity and skill on display. Just WOW.

  4. 4.

    opie_jeanne

    John, when our cats became overly affectionate we knew something was up, and we were right every time. They were affectionate most of the time, but would get really needy when they were feeling poorly.

  5. 5.

    Jerzy Russian

    I wonder who was the first person to realize a dog’s anal glands needed to be expressed? Was it like “Perhaps if I fiddle around back here, things might get better…”?

  6. 6.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    You must be some kind of dinner conversationalist.

    “And phew, was that stuff nasty. Me, I had the dry heaves, it was so bad. More gravy?”

  7. 7.

    Ted & Hellen

    I’m confused: Did you just today have her fixed?

    Was she affectionate because she was feeling amorous or because of the glands?

  8. 8.

    Gin & Tonic

    I’ve had a dog for 13 years. I’ve never spoken or even thought about “anal glands”, and both the dog and I seem happy. So what am I doing wrong?

  12. 12.

    Hal

    First time I have ever seen a restaurant review as the #1 most emailed story on the NY Times home page.

    Pete Wells hilariously rips Guy Fieri’s new restaurant in Times Square a new one:

    Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?

    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/14/dining/reviews/restaurant-review-guys-american-kitchen-bar-in-times-square.html?src=me&ref=general

  13. 13.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    Only John could make the pivot from expressing anal glands and the dog taking a dump to what’s on the table for dinner.

    No wonder you are a hermit. ;p

  14. 14.

    Kristine

    @Gin & Tonic: Some dogs have problems expressing. Sometimes it’s because the glands are not in the right position. Sometimes it’s disease-related. My Gaby has inflammatory bowel disease, and Vet told me anal glands of dogs with IBD often don’t function properly. So, I have to take Gaby in every so often to have the deed done.

  17. 17.

    Gozer

    Sitting outside of a rest stop near Fairfield ct, Dr. Mrs. Gozer and I are attending the northeast poli sci conference and I’m the lucky one driving from Philly to Boston. The shitty traffic is all the better after having a policy course that ends at 9 pm and having the shits. At least I don’t have an early panel and can sleep in.

    Plus I suppose there’s booze and food on the university’s dime. So there’s that…

  18. 18.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    Expressing anal glands sounds like something Republicans do to each other in the restroom.

  24. 24.

    Felonius Monk

    @Mike G:

    We petition the Obama Administration to:
    Punch Grover Norquist in the Dick”

    Could we start a new petition adding John McCain and Lindsey Graham to the list of punchees?

  28. 28.

    piratedan

    sounds like Lilly was the embodiment of that Ron White bit…. ever take a crap so big that it makes your pants fit better?

    mentioned this a ways back but its worth mentioning again, perhaps its time for another open thread/Jobs Forum thread where the commentariat that knows about jobs helps the commentariat attempting to find work.

  29. 29.

    mdblanche

    I’m bored. All day long it was fiscal cliff this and Petraeus that. I know they’ve been trying to sex up the Petraeus story but I’m just not feeling it. Unless we get some current events soon that don’t sound like gossiping at an accountant’s office when I hear them discussed, I’m going to have to start paying attention to the start of the 2016 horse race.

  30. 30.

    Anne Laurie

    @Gin & Tonic:

    So what am I doing wrong?

    NOthing whatsoever, you just picked the right dog. Most dogs never need attention paid to their anal glands, but with those that do — like Rosie — it’s usually a chronic problem. Cole should be grateful she got his attention now, and not during the middle of the family Thanksgiving dinner!

    Speaking of which, if you ever read this, John: Shortly before the death (NOT anal-gland-related) of the one dog I’ve ever owned who had this problem, the specialist vet who was treating her for food allergies said that new studies were suggesting anal gland problems might be allergy-related. You might want to talk to your vet about switching Rosie to a different kibble, preferably one without grains…

  31. 31.

    greennotGreen

    Sorry to change the subject from anal glands and dick punching, but I just wanted to report to my BJ homies that my latest cancer antigen test results were 1/3 of the baseline before surgery, so it’s headed in the right direction! Plus, I feel 100% better and may even work some next week. ‘Course, that could just be the election results talking, but it’s good news none the less.

    Now you may return the conversation to the nether regions.

  32. 32.

    greennotGreen

    @mdblanche: Oh, you are so right. First of all, any woman who pursues a man as mediocre-looking as Petraeus is more to be pitied than censured; secondly, I really don’t want to have to think about his love-life at all; and lastly, I turned on NPR today after a fairly long period of avoiding them, and in a few short minutes they had said “fiscal cliff” three times, so I which to the all-classical station. Big improvement.

  34. 34.

    CW in LA

    @Mike G: Oh, dear. I admire the president greatly, but this is disappointing. So sad that his administration has chosen to infringe on one of our nation’s most sacred rights, the right to petition our government to punch Grover Norquist in the dick.

  36. 36.

    Yutsano

    @greennotGreen: I call this awesome sauce!!

    And since we’re open threading: I’m in a career dilemma. I applied for a position at the IRS that would open up more opportunities in the future but no pay or grade status change. Then today I discovered another job at another agency I’m totally qualified for that may have better promotion potential. I’m thinking of going for both and seeing what happens.

  37. 37.

    Geoduck

    @mdblanche:

    I’m bored. All day long it was fiscal cliff this and Petraeus that. I know they’ve been trying to sex up the Petraeus story but I’m just not feeling it. Unless we get some current events soon that don’t sound like gossiping at an accountant’s office when I hear them discussed, I’m going to have to start paying attention to the start of the 2016 horse race.

    The Israelis are sabre-rattling in the direction of Gaza. That’s always good for a squirt or two of adrenaline.

  38. 38.

    pattonbt

    Since its an open thrad….

    I will NEVER vote for Hillary for anything ever again (if she runs for anything)!! She is here in lovely Perth (or at least was yesterday) and her motorcade had the street blocked for a WHOLE 5 MINUTES while I was trying to get home. Such an inconvenience for me. So no vote ever again! Die Pumas!

    Of course, I kids. Nice to see her over here in the most remote boring city in the world.

  45. 45.

    JoyceH

    ” I’ve been super tired the last three days,”

    I haven’t been able to accomplish much of anything for the past week. Severe stress before the election, severe relief afterward. A few days ago, I was skyping with a friend and said I felt like I was convalescing after a serious illness. I suspect a lot of people feel the same way.

  47. 47.

    Joey Maloney

    @Jerzy Russian:

    I wonder who was the first person to realize a dog’s anal glands needed to be expressed? Was it like “Perhaps if I fiddle around back here, things might get better…”?

    It probably occurred to him while he was polishing off that plate of raw oysters.

  48. 48.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Yutsano: That’s not a dilemma. Always go for everything all the time. Give yourself every opportunity to make a decision and turn something down after the interview.

  49. 49.

    hep kitty

    Was it really necessary to watch and share. Trying to eat breakfast here!

    Some kitties also have to have this done and my friend, who had one of those, said it smells horrible!

    Take a tip, John. The vet showed my friend how to do it at home. Do it yerself and save some cash! :)

  50. 50.

    jon

    I preferred to let the dogs pull themselves along the carpet with their asses dragging.

    Now I don’t have those dogs, and I got rid of the carpet, too.

  51. 51.

    1badbaba3

    TMI John Cole, TMI.

    Would that you had been that forthcoming (heh) when ladyfriend was around. Still waiting for follow-up pics on that.

  52. 52.

    Denali

    Finaly, the light dawns. After the dogs are dead and gone. What was causing them to drag their rear ends on the ground – they had anal gland expression needs! Who knew? What a bad dog mommy I was!

  56. 56.

    Downpuppy

    I’ve been seeing a lot of crap about Rolling Jubilee & decided to stick a pin in it.

    You buy debt, who benefits? The people you buy it from. Everyobdy else? Not so much. There was a Robert Mitchum movie where he’s a small town doctor & a rich woman tries to give gifts that go horribly wrong. Very relevant.

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