Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Let’s finish the job.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

This really is a full service blog.

This fight is for everything.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

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Reader Interactions

63Comments

  7. 7.

    The Dangerman

    I think that calls for some creative anagramming (perhaps AFTER the form fitting flack jacket). At first pass, I see “Hurt Member”, which seems mildly appropriate in a butthurt kinda way.

  12. 12.

    JGabriel

    __
    __
    Poor guy. In his despair, he’s given up on redneck twitter, probably stopped bathing too, and just sits around watching reruns from the 2010 season of Hannity.

    John Cole, you should stop by with a couple pints of Ben & Jerry’s and talk him through it. It’s what a good neighbor would do. It’s what our fathers taught us.

    .

  14. 14.

    Karmus

    Perhaps he threm a keyboarding ligament while performing a daring Cheetoh manoeuvre.

    Throm Sturmand has seen happier days.

  22. 22.

    Bnut

    A DIII kid broke the NCAA mens basketball scoring mark tonight with 138 points. Took 108 shots. Jesus.

  23. 23.

    Anne Laurie

    Pssst, Cole….

    The Vast Recorded Legacy of the Grateful Dead

    Nick Paumgarten, New Yorker:

    …Most objectionable, perhaps, were the Deadheads, that travelling gang of phony vagabonds. As unironic as the Dead may have been, Deadheads were more so. Not for them the arch framings and jagged epiphanies of punk. They dispensed bromides about peace and fellowship as they laid waste to parking lots and town squares. Many came by the stereotypes honestly: airheads and druggies, smelling of patchouli and pot, hairy, hypocritical, pious, ingenuous, and uncritical in the extreme. They danced their flappy Snoopy dance and foisted their hissy bootlegs on roommates and friends, clearing dance floors and common rooms. The obnoxious ones came in many varieties: The frat boys in their Teva sandals and tie-dyed T-shirts, rolling their shoulders to the easy lilt of “Franklin’s Tower.” The so-called spinners, dervishes in prairie skirts and bare feet. The earnest acoustic strummers of “Uncle John’s Band,” the school-bus collective known as the Rainbow Family, the gaunt junkies shuffling around their vans like the Sleestaks in “Land of the Lost”—they came for the party, more than for the band. Sometimes they didn’t even bother to go in to the show. They bought into the idea, which grew flimsier each year, that following a rock band from football stadium to football stadium, fairground to fairground, constituted adventure of the Kerouac kind…

  25. 25.

    Geoduck

    @JGabriel:

    Fucker’s eighteen years older than me, and his hair is still thicker and more luxurious than mine.

    If I got mad at all the people who have more hair than me, all I’d have left is Patrick Stewart.

  27. 27.

    scav

    poor bastard probably finally figured out that his messge went national — people did remember those elected in 2010 and thrommed all sorts of them back from whence they came.

    The schaden after a good thromming is quite the delicacy.

  29. 29.

    Platonicspoof

    . . . very concerned about the teahadist . . .

    Hell, he’s sitting inside by a warm tv.

    His tweet gnome probably froze to death by the side of the road.

    . . . redneck twitter feed . . .

    Google seems to think this phrase is a John Cole, at least BJ, internet tradition original.

  31. 31.

    Yutsano

    @Bnut: Definitely fell under the category of too good to not share. Plus if all goes well it may come in handy later.

  32. 32.

    Bunt

    @Yutsano: I had literally checked out emotionally from football after the A&M game. Then I was out Saturday night and was getting random text messages. Low and behold, God is actually an Alabama fan.

  34. 34.

    Donald G

    For the last eight years, on NM 47 south of Albuquerque on Isleta Pueblo land down the hill from the Hard Rock [word that gets one sent to moderation], a large (official) campaign sign for the Kerry/Edwards ticket has sat undisturbed.

    I wonder if it will still be there in 2016.

  35. 35.

    Warren Terra

    @The Dangerman:

    I think that calls for some creative anagramming (perhaps AFTER the form fitting flack jacket). At first pass, I see “Hurt Member”, which seems mildly appropriate in a butthurt kinda way.

    I cheated with an anagram server: you can get “Behemoth”, which is great, but I couldn’t see a phrase worth having.

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    Guess the election thrommed him for a loop.

    I heart this comment.

    Didja notice that we not only got to vote that wanker’s career to an end, we apparently also condemned him to go see the latest Twilight movie in a theater? I’d have thought I wouldn’t wish that on someone I despised. Turns out I’d have been wrong.

  36. 36.

    Yutsano

    @Bunt: At this point all I have is the Civil War, and I’m just enough of a butthead to cheer for the Beavers. Only because the Fighting Fashion Atrocities need to come down a peg or two.

  38. 38.

    tjmn

    Here in Redneck Alley the Romney signs went down only to be replaced by “Pray for America” signs.

  39. 39.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn)

    @Apsalar: To riff on what someone said earlier, Mittens looks apt to say, “you know spies; bunch of whiny little bitches.” Only, without the Devil-may-care panache.

  41. 41.

    Another Halocene Human

    @Geoduck: If I got mad at all the people who have more hair than me, all I’d have left is Patrick Stewart.

    Jeez, Mitt Romney or Patrick Stewart, that’s a tough one.

    Let me sit down and think about that a minute.

  42. 42.

    Randy P

    @Martin: I haven’t gotten around to seeing Red yet (where Helen Mirren plays one of a team of retired badasses) but I wanna see THIS movie. With Mirren playing Hilary. As The Wolf.

  43. 43.

    Schlemizel

    I am not a nice person; I hope he took himself deep. After watching these morons bring this country to the edge of destruction I have no sympathy, with any luck he punched his own ticket home shortly after Rove admitted defeat. Further, I hope he botched it so that it was prolonged and painful, not unlike having to watch the GOP unravel what worked for this country and replace it with a pain amplifier.

  44. 44.

    Andrew Abshier

    It’s trash day in my Florida neighborhood. Someone set out their trash with their Romney-Ryan sign deliberately placed so that it would be sticking out of the top of the can. Perhaps that’s one Republican that actually places the blame for the loss where it belongs!

  45. 45.

    Andrew Abshier

    @Bago:

    The skewed polls guy at least manned up after the election and said that Nate Silver was right and he was wrong. So there is that.

  49. 49.

    SFAW

    @Andrew Abshier:

    The skewed polls guy eunuch at least manned up after the election and said that Nate Silver was right and he was wrong.

    Fixed.

    Because if that asshole has no problem about calling Nate Silver a fem as a way to attempt to screw with Nate’s credibility/abilities, then he should feel some of the same love.

    And, if his glam shot makes him look like a eunuch, I shudder to think of him in “real” life. (Air quotes, because it’s not clear to me that Rethugs and their ilk have any understanding of reality.)

    ETA: And one would think he would have enough sense to shut his festering gob about the “fraud” thing. What a maroon.

  50. 50.

    dr. bloor

    @SFAW:

    What a maroon.

    I’m not inclined to call anyone who separates fools from their money at a five-figure per month pace a “maroon.”

  51. 51.

    dantoujours

    The unskewed poll guy also has a new site saying that Obama stole the election (which somehow happened under the eyes of Republican Secretaries of State in each state.)

  52. 52.

    SFAW

    @dr. bloor:

    I’m not inclined to call anyone who separates fools from their money at a five-figure per month pace a “maroon.”

    And how, perchance, does Chambers do that? Not that I’ve researched the maroon extensively – or at all, I guess – but I hadn’t seen that.

    ETA: And, intelligence is not a prerequisite to being able to provide something suckers want.

  54. 54.

    Schlemizel

    @SFAW:

    No, I think the theory is that those fine decent upstanding SoS have their hands tied by liberal judges and the Dems are just so sneaky and underhanded that those wonderful gentlemen are at a great disadvantage.

    They win or we cheated just no two ways about it

  55. 55.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @Apsalar:

    He should have stopped in Oregon, he would have felt like a millionaire since we actually employ people to pump the gas for you.

    Unless he came through on a motorcycle, then he would be back to pumping his own.

  56. 56.

    1badbaba3

    @pragmatism: Lots of good stuff in this thread. This one is my fave. I can see Meat Loaf as Throm on the porch in full teahadi regalia saying the line over and over again until he breaks into shrieks. Testify Brother! VICTORY!

  57. 57.

    Mike in NC

    Our next door neighbors ditched the Rmoney signs in both the front and back yard, and removed the bumper stickers from their cars, but otherwise they seem to be very depressed and have been avoiding all social events they used to attend in the community.

  60. 60.

    kindness

    John you should be nice to the poor teahaddist.

    Make some pot brownies and leave them in his box anonomously. That or rat poison. My karmic guide says stick with the herbal remedies.

  61. 61.

    Mara Holbrook

    The sign hanger in our neck of the woods (affectionately referred to as “old man mccrankysigns”) has three signs along the road. They started out with fairly simple messages “Obama = Socialism.” In the past few months they became so overloaded with rage and excitement at the prospect of Obama’s impending loss “the orgy is over – send them packing” “Obama supports Muslims – it’s in his book,” that you had to pull over to the side of the road just to take in the complete message.

    Since Rmoney’s loss, there have been no signs posted. Just poor empty hangers, looking forlorn. I drive by every few days to check if he’s revived. No Benghazi outrage, no failure of leadership regarding Petraeus? Poor man must be in quite a funk. Okay, so I’m gloating just a little!

  62. 62.

    Chuck Butcher

    @Mara Holbrook:
    Somebody around here painted a perfectly good mine car with “Defeat Obama” “America Can’t Afford Him” and I haven’t been out that way to see if he’s gone to the trouble of getting that paint off. I mean really, it’s a damn antique and he’s put house paint on it with that message. I know what stupid kinds of things politics makes people say, but for pete’s sake – paint a piece of plywood and stick it on the side of the road. It cost some serious money to get that thing and have it stuck in their yard – there ain’t no hard rock mines around these parts – a shit load of sand but not much in the line of rock.

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