Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

The revolution will be supervised.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Consistently wrong since 2002

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

“But what about the lurkers?”

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

All your base are belong to Tunch.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Bark louder, little dog.

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Reader Interactions

118Comments

  1. 1.

    Thlayli

    On this week’s episode of everyone’s favorite sitcom, “J-E-T-S!”, Greg McElroy gets rewarded for his win last week by being inactivated.

  3. 3.

    Gravenstone

    What’s the over/under on Adrian Peterson gaining 300 yards today? 69 on the Vikes opening drive.

  5. 5.

    de stijl

    I just noticed that when Adrian Peterson is wearing his helmet, he totally looks like Gabrielle Douglas.

  6. 6.

    Spaghetti Lee

    Jesus fucking Christ what is WRONG with the Bears?! Why do they do this to me the second half of every season?!

    I mean, I think we’ll still make the playoffs (beating Arizona and Detroit to get to 10-6) but we’re so old and tired and banged up that we’ll almost certainly lose to the Packers or Giants or whoever we get in the first round. Fuck it all.

  7. 7.

    J. Michael Neal

    Pick your ridiculous stat of the first half of the Gophers’ season:

    1) 20 wins, 0 losses
    2) 114 goals scored
    3) 12 goals allowed
    4) 9 shorthanded goals
    5) 4 power play goals allowed
    6) Any of the various comparisons among 2) through 5)
    7) 4 different freshmen win WCHA Rookie of the Week (2 of whom have not been suspended for “academic issues”)
    8) No goalie other than Noora Räty has allowed a goal since October, 2010
    9) Räty has a .962 save percentage
    10) Amanda Kessel has 184 career points halfway through her junior season
    11) Average margin of victory is 5.1 goals
    12) Freshman Hannah Brandt is +42
    13) The perfect record broke the RPI calculation at US College Hockey Online and they have cobbled something together to provide an approximation for all the teams

    Edit: Almost forgot –
    14) Power play clicking at a 35.9% rate

  8. 8.

    Steeplejack

    Marv Albert is almost making me forget my hatred of Brent Musburger. The Ravens-Redskins game is good, but I keep wanting to mute it.

  11. 11.

    AA+ Bonds

    Way late but you are correct that Ben Folds Five- The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner is a perfect album.

  12. 12.

    RobertDSC-PowerMac 466

    A co-worker had his sister pass away late last week. I’m rooting for his Steelers in his honor today. He’ll be out tomorrow and I’m covering for him.

  18. 18.

    Raven

    @Spaghetti Lee: Same as it ever was in the Black and Blue. Meanwhile the Panthers are kicking the shit out of the Falcons. Maybe going with the princess to the garden club party won’t be so bad!

  19. 19.

    FridayNext

    So there are how many games going on right now? A dozen? I got exactly ONE on my digital cable line up of 200+ channels.

    Can’t wait until I can find a decent job and get a premium channel or two so I can actually watch more than just the local team, cuz the Eagles suck.

    Is the NFL only about premium channels now?

  23. 23.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    So will Johnny Manziel join Archie Griffin in winning two Heismans (maybe more) or will he be cursed? Being in the SEC will make it difficult for him.

  26. 26.

    Corner Stone

    I have never seen so many drops in a game in the National Football League as going on here in Chargers v Stillers.
    No one on either side seems to be able to catch a damn thing. It’s like Raven at the beach!
    Who spiked their milk with the dropsy drops?

  31. 31.

    PsiFighter37

    Can someone explain to me why the Jets a) decided to start Markey Mark after last week’s debacle, and b) why they DE-activated the guy (McElroy) who basically won the game for them last week?

    Sexy Rexy has really worn out his welcome, and managing the team like he’s got no fucking clue is not helping. Of course, the owner of the Jets (Romney moneyman Woody Johnson) is an idiot asshole, so we could have another year of this clown show next year, too.

  34. 34.

    Corner Stone

    @PsiFighter37:

    Sexy Rexy has really worn out his welcome, and managing the team like he’s got no fucking clue is not helping.

    I watched the press conf where Rex named Mark as the starter again. He just looked like a beaten man. I think he has completely quit on this team.

  38. 38.

    Jerzy Russian

    The Chargers are on track right now. In order to blow a large halftime lead, they first have to get a large halftime lead.

  40. 40.

    PsiFighter37

    @Spaghetti Lee: I’d also say that the personnel this year really blows. Those years, at least they had a credible running back (Thomas Jones) and a better receiving corps. Granted, injuries have done them no favors, but coming out and saying that he thought this was his best team was ridiculous.

    Also, too, hiring Tony Sparano was idiotic. Kind of like the Iggles making their O-Line coach their defensive coordinator.

  45. 45.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @Raven:

    …and fucking idiot.

    University of Florida and Auburn. Nuff said.

    ;)

  48. 48.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    I have a question for any New York or New Jersey BJ’ers. Are the Giants the 2nd banana team in the Metro area despite winning more Super Bowls than the Jets? Considering the media coverage I see, you might as well have the Giants play in the Yale Bowl.

  49. 49.

    Corner Stone

    @Raven: Big, strong, fantastic arm. Drafted second behind Peyton Manning in 1998. Not a great rookie year. Not mobile in anyway like Cam, but who is.
    He just imploded from the pressure and went full on nutjob over time.
    From the chatter I have read about Cam from other players he seems to have cheesed them off pretty bad. Now normally I’d say that’s due to Cam being so promising and having so much upside. But from observable reports and interviews it’s very clear he’s just not in the right mindset to lead a group of professional players.
    Just a bunch of really awful examples so far in his short career.

  50. 50.

    Off Colfax

    In other news, the Chargers have increased the lead that they’re going to blow in the 4th. Thank FSM that AJ Smith will no longer be allowed to hamstring my Bolts after this year.

    @Corner Stone: Ooooooooh. There are no greater insults than to be compared to Leaf. Worst QB ever drafted.

  54. 54.

    Off Colfax

    @Raven: I’d argue right back. Jeff George had at least some instinct, but little ability to back it up. Leaf’s minimal instinct and talent were drowned out by an ego that made Brian Griese look like a shrinking violet by comparison.

  57. 57.

    Raven

    @Mr Stagger Lee: Yes, he played in that weird SC-Illini game that was supposed to be played in Moscow in the The Glasnost Bowl. The Illini were led my Jason Verduzco, his brother was my brother’s roommate at Sac State!

  64. 64.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    Browns are comfortably ahead. This will be three wins in a row, barring a yacht falling on the team.

    Is this a sign of the apocalypse? I’m starting to think the people panicking over the Mayan calendar are right.

  66. 66.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism: No no no! When the Browns are about to win the Super Bowl, God in his Steeler jersey will throw a meteor into the earth, like Bradshaw to Lynn Swann.(Or is it God in his Broncos #7 jersey will hurl that meteor) God hates Cleveland I am convinced of that. What did we in the Dawgpound do to offend Him? Don’t answer that.

  68. 68.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @Raven:

    I used to drink with a guy who was Marinovich’s cellmate. At that point- when they were doing time- Todd still didn’t care much for Marv.

  71. 71.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    I think Mike Holmgren will be the Cowboys coach next year. It looks like they don’t care. Boy that Cowboys punter stinks on ice. I like it when Jerry Jones haz a sad.

  77. 77.

    Steeplejack

    RGIII out, Cousins comes in and throws a TD pass and then runs in the two-point conversion to tie the game 28-28 with 29 seconds left. Washington kicking off to Baltimore.

  79. 79.

    Joel

    I want this stupid Cowboys-Bengals game to end so that I can watch the Ravens-Redskins overtime.

  80. 80.

    Corner Stone

    @Steeplejack: Now that’s a commercial with panache!
    But James going to a barber shop when I’m not sure he has any actual hair left, or when he’s driving through the streets in a four door Jeep.
    Not sure wtf he’s selling.

  82. 82.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    Ooh! Ooh! Redskins punt return!

    Already within FG range. And the Ravens have had their shot. Next score wins it.

  86. 86.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    Well it looks like the demise of the Cowboys demise was greatly exaggerated. I wonder if Bengals coach Marvin Lerwis will be around next year?

  88. 88.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    And the ‘Skins win it with the backup quarterback. RG3 is hurting bad.

  90. 90.

    Schlemizel

    @J. Michael Neal:

    Not enough long-term traumatic brain injuries to excite the masses.

    15) In addition to being +5 on the penalty kill they are killing off penalties at 96%

  95. 95.

    Schlemizel

    @Schlemizel:

    And it should be noted that they play in the division that has won the last 14 NCAA championships so they are doing this against the toughest competition of any team

  98. 98.

    Corner Stone

    How do you sprint balls out 97 yards and then still have the energy to do a backflip in the end zone?

  100. 100.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    Looks like Giants/Saints will be fun, in a Keystone Kops sort of way.

  103. 103.

    J. Michael Neal

    @Schlemizel: The Red Menace comes through with a 3-1 win over the Fighting Whioux. The teams trade checking from behind majors and UND twice fails to count to five successfully.

  104. 104.

    FlipYrWhig

    The LeBron James ads would make more sense if he were still playing for Cleveland. Because they’re basically “he’s still at home in his old neighborhood” ads, but, you know.

  107. 107.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @Yutsano: To that young Cardinal
    who muffed that put the eternal words of John Heisman

    Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football”

    nuf ced.

  109. 109.

    Quaker in a Basement

    Lost to the Chargers?

    Call in the dogs and piss on the fire. The Steelers are done.

  110. 110.

    Yutsano

    @Mr Stagger Lee: The really sad thing? They could totally melt down in the second half and lose this game. I’m gonna take a nap. That seemed to work good for the Apple Cup. :)

  111. 111.

    2liberal

    i think fining dockett $200K might have PO’d this team (the cardinals) into wondering why they are trying

  112. 112.

    Suffern ACE

    @2liberal: at the same time, what do you do if a player spits in the face of another player when he doesn’t like the play the coach calls?

  116. 116.

    Quaker in a Basement

    @Yutsano: A group of men who claimed to be the professional football team from Arizona. Some suspect high school pranksters are somehow involved.

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