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You are here: Home / Gun Issues / Gun nuts / The Newest Nuttery

The Newest Nuttery

by John Cole|  December 19, 20123:37 pm| 137 Comments

This post is in: Gun nuts

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The newest whackjob gun nut conspiracy theory I’ve seen floated a couple places (including by some on my facebook feed) is based on this initial inaccurate report:

bushmaster

The paranoid set is seizing upon this and generally suggesting (some more openly than others) that the gunman really did use handguns, and the reports of the Bushmaster being found in a car are accurate. What happened was that the rifle was then planted by the shooter’s body to help bring about the UN dream of disarming the entire country.

In order to believe this theory, you have to accept several things. First, every one of the dozens and dozens of Law Enforcement Officers and rescue officials who responded to the scene, which included folks from the Newton Police, police from surrounding communities, the Connecticut State Police, and the FBI, as well as who knows how many Paramedics and EMT’s, all are in on the fix.

Second, you have to believe that not one of the approximately 5000 cameras on the scene caught the police taking the rifle out of the car and calmly walking into the school to place the weapon. Not eyewitness of all the people there is coming forward to say this happened.

Finally, you have to believe that the multiple medical examiners, all with years of experience, lied about the type of rounds found in the body.

It’s absurd, but these frothing nutters will throw Occam the middle finger once again and refuse to accept that the initial reports were… wrong. Just like they were wrong about a host of things. It’s the same thing with Benghazi. No one intentionally misled anyone, they initial reports were just wrong. Look at all the things that were wrong in the Sandy Hook reporting, and that was right here in the United States.

And why is it that the people who always say the government can never do anything right are always the first ones to suggest massive successful government cover-ups?

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Reader Interactions

137Comments

  1. 1.

    dmsilev

    December 19, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    It also never seems to occur to them that an evil/efficient government capable of pulling off a conspiracy like that would have both the means and the desire to …prevent leaks.

    Watch out for helicopters, boys! I hear FEMA has taken to disguising their birds as news helicopters.

  2. 2.

    Cassidy

    December 19, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    This is nothing compared to the “he was killed with a .38” conspiracy theory. That is/ was some real special craziness.

  3. 3.

    MTiffany71

    December 19, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    The lack of evidence is just further proof of how powerful the conspiracy has become…

  4. 4.

    dmsilev

    December 19, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    Also, let’s go for Wingnut Harmonic Convergence: “I hear Obama set up Lanza as the fall guy because Lanza knew the truth about Hillary and Vince Foster.”

  5. 5.

    Wag

    December 19, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    And why is it that the people who always say the government can never do anything right are always the first ones to suggest massive successful government cover-ups?

    Because cover-ups can never fail, they can only be failed

  6. 6.

    Hoodie

    December 19, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    Occam used to hang out with Marx, right?

  7. 7.

    Foregone Conclusion

    December 19, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    Same basis as the 9/11 truthers. ‘Conflicting reports on a day of confusion and national tragedy… evidence of conspiraceeeeee!’

  8. 8.

    Cassidy

    December 19, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    And why is it that the people who always say the government can never do anything right are always the first ones to suggest massive successful government cover-ups?

    Or just come forcibly take thier damn guns? Why would a gov’t this pwoerful dick around with all the second shooter in black nonsense? Foreplay?

  9. 9.

    Handy

    December 19, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    Extra special nuttery sez – this was a UN plot to begin with. The guy was a trained UN operative sent in to bring about the UN takeover of America starting with laws against assault weapons.

  10. 10.

    Foregone Conclusion

    December 19, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    @Hoodie:

    Fantastic.

  11. 11.

    BGinCHI

    December 19, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    There are none so blind as those who refuse to see.

    Plus, stupidity.

  12. 12.

    BGinCHI

    December 19, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    Occam used a razor.

    Which just shows that guns aren’t the issue.

  13. 13.

    JPL

    December 19, 2012 at 3:46 pm

    Mediaite is reporting that FOX is saying the mother was going to commit him to a health care facility. The information is based upon a twenty five year old who heard it from someone else.

  14. 14.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    @Foregone Conclusion:

    Same basis as the 9/11 truthers. ‘Conflicting reports on a day of confusion and national tragedy… evidence of conspiraceeeeee!’

    Do you accept every aspect of the government’s 9/11 narrative as factual and upheld by the evidence?

    It is a very simple question. Please provide an answer.

  15. 15.

    Rommie

    December 19, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    It’s true because it’s exactly what *they* would do if the situation were reversed. IAP.

  16. 16.

    Wag

    December 19, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    @BGinCHI:

    FTW

  17. 17.

    BGinCHI

    December 19, 2012 at 3:53 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: Simple is your strong suit.

  18. 18.

    Raven

    December 19, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: Why am I not surprised?

  19. 19.

    Ben Cisco

    December 19, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    We have a serious gun nut in this country.

    Also, a serious STOOPID problem.

  20. 20.

    Ash Can

    December 19, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    We’re going to be hearing any and every possible kind of insanity from these people, because they’re utterly desperate to deflect blame from themselves — especially in their own minds.

  21. 21.

    BGinCHI

    December 19, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    @Raven: You have any friends in the Entomology Dept?

    If so I need to email you a request.

  22. 22.

    MattF

    December 19, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    They’re true conservatives because they exhibit Oakshottean skepticism towards reality.

  23. 23.

    Ash Can

    December 19, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: This explains a lot.

  24. 24.

    Joel

    December 19, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: More or less, yeah.

  25. 25.

    Cassidy

    December 19, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    @Raven: We’re about to visit that weird place you find in some dark corners of Youtube, aren’t we?

  26. 26.

    Mr. Longform

    December 19, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    Welcome to the Disney’s Confederacy of Conspiracy, address is area 51, a -gated community (as in Benghazi-gate, Foster-gate, etc.) where all the helicopters are black are and all the knolls are grassy. Come in and have your guns taken away, your children indoctrinated in the ways of the gays, and take your seat at the death panel. Enjoy your stay in the FEMA concentration camp!

  27. 27.

    SatanicPanic

    December 19, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: Pfft, of course not. I saw the chemtrails coming off those planes.

  28. 28.

    Judas Escargot, Acerbic Prophet of the Mighty Potato God

    December 19, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    @Ted & Hellen:
    Building 7 was where the secret cache of deep-frozen Unicorn Zygotes were stored.

  29. 29.

    gogol's wife

    December 19, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    @BGinCHI:

    LOL.

  30. 30.

    BGinCHI

    December 19, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    @gogol’s wife: No laughs until your grades are submitted!

  31. 31.

    JPL

    December 19, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    @Judas Escargot, Acerbic Prophet of the Mighty Potato God: My former sister-in-law worked in bldg 7. She worked an eleven to seven shift so missed the horror. She is also coming for the holidays so I’ll mention the zombie theory.

  32. 32.

    JCT

    December 19, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    It’s just like with the Aurora shootings. Within 24 hours the gun nuts were floating increasingly complex “false flag” conspiracies.

    Same thing happened with Newton. The amazing thing is that while a couple of their fellow “enthusiasts” would try to point out that this was nuts, most were more than happy to jump on board. Without fail, much of their evidence was focused on (are you ready) incorrect descriptions of either the weaponry or apparel of the gunman. Trust me, out there in the deepest gun nut forums there are 5-6 page threads supporting all this based only on weather the shooter was REALLY wearing a bullet proof vest or a tactical nylon one.

    The amazing thing is that while many of them blame the evil nature of society (all caused by Obama) and lack of god, etc., they espouse truly repellent views. The cognitive dissonance and lack of insight is awe-inspiring.

    Probably fitting that their other big “cause” of these massacres is lack of mental health care because their degree of paranoia is probably pathologic.

    Why we have allowed these certifiable individuals to dictate this issue is a real mystery.

  33. 33.

    MaximusNYC

    December 19, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    Someone posted on my Facebook page yesterday that the REAL problem isn’t the guns, it’s psychiatric meds and vaccines. Also: Lanza couldn’t have perpetrated the shooting by himself, as the “so-called authorities” claim; the whole thing is a gubmint plot to take away our guns.

    Meanwhile, an ultra-conservative ex-Marine friend of mine is saying that it’s time to repeal the Second Amendment. Interesting times.

  34. 34.

    Kristin

    December 19, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    @Ash Can: These kind of conspiracy theories are a tell that they do know that there is blame to be placed on them. If their ALL TEH GUNZ beliefs were so beyond reproach, why would they care if people wrongfully believed Lanza used the Bushmaster? It wouldn’t matter.

  35. 35.

    gogol's wife

    December 19, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    @BGinCHI:

    done yesterday

  36. 36.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 19, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    First, every one of the dozens and dozens of Law Enforcement Officers and rescue officials who responded to the scene, which included folks from the Newton Police, police from surrounding communities, the Connecticut State Police, and the FBI, as well as who knows how many Paramedics and EMT’s, all are in on the fix.

    Remember that plane that exploded over Long Island Sound back in the 90’s? The conspiracy nuts had no problem believing that Clinton ordered it shot down, and the Navy did it, and everyone on the ships involved kept the secret.

    Easy as pie.

    Cripes. The stupid. It burns!

  37. 37.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    @BGinCHI:

    Telling that you refuse to answer a simple question.

  38. 38.

    Sirkowski

    December 19, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    I’m not saying it was aliens, but…

    It was aliens.

  39. 39.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    @Raven:

    Telling that you refuse to answer a simple question.

  40. 40.

    LABiker

    December 19, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    If we had a 5,000% tax on ammunition, it wouldn’t make any difference what the asshole was holding in his hand when slaughtering the children.

    Guns don’t kill people; bullets kill people. Ammunition should be taxed heavily.

    Get behind the FTPAT (Five-Thousand-Percent Ammunition Tax)!

  41. 41.

    BGinCHI

    December 19, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    So let me get this straight: these people fear a government that they describe as incompetent and then only capable of doing something as big as banning all guns by first plotting out everything like a suspense novel?

    I’d say these people have been reading too much, but I’m not sure I want to give them that much credit for the skill.

  42. 42.

    LABiker

    December 19, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    If we had a 5,000% tax on ammunition, it wouldn’t make any difference what the asshole was holding in his hand when slaughtering the children.

    Guns don’t kill people; bullets kill people. Ammunition should be taxed heavily.

    Get behind the FTPAT (Five-Thousand-Percent Ammunition Tax)!

  43. 43.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    @Ash Can:

    Telling that you refuse to answer a simple question.

  44. 44.

    Judas Escargot, Acerbic Prophet of the Mighty Potato God

    December 19, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    @JPL:
    I’m glad she made it.

    Sadly though, Unicorns are now forever extinct.

    Unless of course the Soviets managed to rescue the only other known U.Z. cache from Hitler’s bunker back in 1945. But if they did, the Russians aren’t talking.

    (IMO, their Secret UFO program probably used up all the unicorn eggs for fuel as early as 1951).

  45. 45.

    BGinCHI

    December 19, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    @gogol’s wife: Congrats!

  46. 46.

    Hoodie

    December 19, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    @BGinCHI: Occam was in on it. (tag candidate)

  47. 47.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    @Joel:

    Which is it?

    If you have ANY reservations about the official narrative, any at all, you are a PARANOID CONSPIRACTY THEORIST OH MY GOD SHUT UP.

    See how that works? Even if you ask one question, that is too much. Why?

  48. 48.

    BGinCHI

    December 19, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: What did it tell you?

  49. 49.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 19, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    @Ted & Hellen:

    There MUST be a fire somewhere, someplace, where you can go to die.

    Please find it.

    Thank you.

  50. 50.

    virginia

    December 19, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    In a different age, we’d already be at one another’s throats for real. Credit where credit is due — The USA is industrial strength to withstand this kind of punishment. These people are deranged and 30 years plus of deregulation and inferior education have resulted in what feels like not the end of the world but the end of another Empire. Doomsday Preppers — National Geographic Channel seemingly owned and run by Fox. There seems to be no end to the devolution.

    Obama’s press conference today at lunchtime was well done. I just wish he’d stop referencing Reagan as a cornerstone. Reagan today wouldn’t have withstood the rightwing litmus test so it’s easy to keep on lighting a candle at that shrine but, really?, it’s enough already with the Ronnie worship and the need to touch that stone in the wall.

    The crazies know their backs are up against the wall so one can expect all manner of rationalizing and explaining away. Huge freaking national trauma results in … you know.

  51. 51.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 19, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: No, but I think it is close to the truth as we will probably be able to get. Are all details right? Probably not. Does it get the outline correct? Probably so.

  52. 52.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    @SatanicPanic:

    Telling that you refuse to answer a simple question.

  53. 53.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    December 19, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    John this is no more implausible than the birfer theories, and yet people (oh hai Orly) are still filing lawsuits about it lo some four years later. They are still posting on their birfer boards going “any day now the usurper will be frogmarched out of OUR White House and his little dog too”.

  54. 54.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    @Judas Escargot, Acerbic Prophet of the Mighty Potato God:

    Telling that you refuse to answer a simple question.

  55. 55.

    Sly

    December 19, 2012 at 4:12 pm

    And why is it that the people who always say the government can never do anything right are always the first ones to suggest massive successful government cover-ups?

    So? They think I’m an incompetent parasite who wants to indoctrinate the children of America into Marxism, but who simultaneously believe that the solution to school shootings is to demand I keep a loaded weapon in the classroom. Maybe I’ll flail it around for emphasis as I read sections of the Grundrisse to students. MAKE YOUR MOVE, CAPITALISM!

  56. 56.

    BGinCHI

    December 19, 2012 at 4:12 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: PARANOID CONSPIRACTY THEORIST OH MY GOD SHUT UP.

  57. 57.

    gogol's wife

    December 19, 2012 at 4:12 pm

    @Ted & Hellen:

    I’ll answer it. Yes.

  58. 58.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    And once again…telling that you refuse…

  59. 59.

    LanceThruster

    December 19, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    FWIW, “conspiracy theory” all lumped in together does a disservice in those instances where death by multiple gunshot wounds to the back of the head are ruled without irony, “suicide.”

  60. 60.

    Seth Owen

    December 19, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    Frankly, I always had my doubts about the “rifle was in the car” reports. I half expected THAT report to turn out to be wrong — which of course it did.

    I had two reasons. The first was simply the gut feeling that a mass shooter wouldn’t bother taking a rifle with him someplace and then just leave it in the car and use pistols instead.

    But more importantly, I found it simply incredible that pistols could be used to shoot SO MANY people with such deadly effect. Don’t lose sight of the fact that this was a remarkably DEADLY shooting incident. The ratio of killed to wounded was far outside the usual norms for firearms incidents. Of the 29 people shot, it appears there was just a single survivor.

    The medical examiners report explains why it turned out to be so deadly. Every victims was shot multiple times — 3-11 times EACH! Again, an output of bullets simply not attainable with clip-fed pistols. He’d have had to stop to reload after every 2-3 victims.

    Of course, logic and physics are of small import if you choose to believe conspiracy theories, so pointing this out would be a waste of time.

  61. 61.

    trollhattan

    December 19, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    “False DFH flag ops!” Or something.

    You’d have to go to Texas to get that sort of cop malfeasance.

    http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/david/two-women-sue-texas-troopers-illegal-roadsid

  62. 62.

    beltane

    December 19, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    @MaximusNYC: It’s true. Without vaccines it is possible that Adam Lanza would have died from a preventable childhood illness and been thus unable to commit murder as an adult. Just think of all the future murderers who are being allowed to grow up to adulthood because of vaccines. It is a disgrace and an outrage I tell you.

  63. 63.

    Soonergrunt

    December 19, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: I think for most people, the answer is “yes” and the preface to that answer is “Well, Tim, seeing as how I’m not a paranoid lunatic…”

  64. 64.

    Culture of Truth

    December 19, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    Yes, but it’s very suspicious that this just happened to be a horrible mass murder of children, with guns bought legally but obtained wrongfully, with an assault rifle owned by a gun fan, who was killed with her own gun, which were not stored safely, used by her kid who should never have had them, who she trained to use them…. I mean for advocates of gun control, it’s a little too perfect.

  65. 65.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    @gogol’s wife:

    I’ll answer it. Yes.

    Then you, my innocent child, are a willful tool. Take comfort that you are in good company at BJ.

  66. 66.

    Bobby Thomson

    December 19, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    Shorter kitchen implement: I’m telling!

  67. 67.

    gogol's wife

    December 19, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    @Ted & Hellen:

    I do, I do.

  68. 68.

    SatanicPanic

    December 19, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: What does it tell you? That I’m in on the conspiracy? That I’m SHEEPLE?

  69. 69.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 19, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    @Ted & Hellen:

    Please find the fire before someone finds it for you.

    I’m not going to answer your question, because you are a git.

  70. 70.

    Cassidy

    December 19, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    And special kitchen implement is making it about him….again. Don’t you have some dogs to beat or a bus to walk in front of?

  71. 71.

    gogol's wife

    December 19, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    OT: I got my Balloon Juice calendar today. It’s high quality and full of the beloved pets of willful tools, including my canine nephew. It’s beautiful!

  72. 72.

    srv

    December 19, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    You people have no idea how fast those black helicopters are. They could have gotten to Connecticut in just a few minutes from the UN tower.

  73. 73.

    Violet

    December 19, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    OT– Has it been posted yet that Sully took DougJ’s trolling bait on McMegan’s rush the shooter post? Link

  74. 74.

    Bobby Thomson

    December 19, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: And you’re just a tool.

  75. 75.

    JCT

    December 19, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    @BGinCHI:

    I’d say these people have been reading too much, but I’m not sure I want to give them that much credit for the skill.

    The NRA probably distributes comic books filled with black helicopters and false flag operations. Who needs reading.

  76. 76.

    gogol's wife

    December 19, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    @LABiker:

    Is there a movement started for this? I’m signing on to any and all movements these days, as long as they’re focused on guns and don’t mention the anarchist soccer mom.

  77. 77.

    Cassidy

    December 19, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: Isn’t this the same special kitchen implement that was defending a child molester? You know they say those guys can tell their own.

  78. 78.

    Culture of Truth

    December 19, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: What number am I thinking of? It’s a simple question.

  79. 79.

    pseudonymous in nc

    December 19, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    @Kristin:

    These kind of conspiracy theories are a tell that they do know that there is blame to be placed on them.

    It’s a neat little vicious circle: if you believe that kind of paranoid shit, you really shouldn’t own guns, therefore proving that there’s the desire to not have these people own guns.

    It’s barely different from psychosis.

  80. 80.

    Bubblegum Tate

    December 19, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    Shameless nutpicking here with this verbatim blog comment:

    Drudge

    POLICE: ‘Good evidence’ found for motive…

    MEDS? Shooter suffered from ‘personality disorder’ …

    ‘Obviously not well’…

    Intelligent and Shy…

    Played video games…

    *Brother has told investigators that Adam was ‘autistic’…

    little WHITE boys on mind altering DRUGS….THANKS marxist re education camps!!

    Sooo…Marxist re-education camps and mind-control drugs disguised as Ritalin? Or Ritalin is said drug, making it the intersection between batshit-crazy fundies and Scientologists?

  81. 81.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    @Soonergrunt:

    I think for most people, the answer is “yes” and the preface to that answer is “Well, Tim, seeing as how I’m not a paranoid lunatic…”

    There’s not even one aspect of the official narrative that doesn’t ring true? Not one? Not even the hijacker passport that made its way from inside an exploding plane inside the WTC down the ground 70 floors below?

    See here’s the thing: Just because not ALL things are conspiracies, doesn’t mean that NOTHING is a conspiracy. Similarly, just because it doesn’t make sense about the passport doesn’t mean aliens piloted the planes that hit the towers, or that someone switched guns at Sandy Hook.

    This is not a black/white world, Soonergrunt, and you are well aware of that.

    Do you believe GWB saw the plane hit the tower on television, even though he couldn’t possibly have done so?

    Why so eager to cover for Bush/Cheney.

    But then, you’re the one who fanatically insists that the air force’s failure to intercept ANY of the 9/11 planes over more than an hour in flight is wholly understandable and acceptable.

    Finally, see how your reply went INSTANTLY to personal insult and attack? Thank you for exemplifying the common response: NO deviation from the official narrative is allowed.

    In this respect, you are WORSE than the wingnuts because you know better and cover for Bush/Cheney anyway. Why do you do that?

  82. 82.

    japa21

    December 19, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    Interesting that the troll will call someone a gullible fool for basically believing most of what we were told about 9/11 yet presents no evidence of what the goveernment may have lied about. So who is more gullible?

  83. 83.

    Gravenstone

    December 19, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: Oh look, moron boy learned cut and paste…

  84. 84.

    Cassidy

    December 19, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: Wow. And we thought he was just a petty little shit who is an apologist for pedophiles.

    Quick! What color is my shirt? IT’S A SIMPLE QUESTION!

  85. 85.

    chopper

    December 19, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    OMG NANOTHERMITE YARRRGH

  86. 86.

    Cassidy

    December 19, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    @Gravenstone: WHAT ABOUT THE BLACK HELICOPTERS WITH REFLECTIVE STEALTH TECHNOLOGY AND THE MEN IN BLACK?! DID THEY PLANT THE BOMBS?!

  87. 87.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    @Cassidy:

    WHAT ABOUT THE BLACK HELICOPTERS WITH REFLECTIVE STEALTH TECHNOLOGY AND THE MEN IN BLACK?! DID THEY PLANT THE BOMBS?!

    Case in point: No questions are allowed. None.

  88. 88.

    pat

    December 19, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    Well, I for one believe it is entirely possible that WTC 7 was brought down by demolition charges that had been set by dozens of professional demolition experts, working in secret and at night, and that they were summarily executed on 9/10 so that they could never divulge the secret. Oh, and they were paid by Dick Cheney and Haliburton, but the money was burned up when they were executed so it would never show up in their bank accounts. And they all “sent” postcards to their families, dated 9/12, telling them that they were disappearing to a tropical island and there was no use trying to find them because they changed their names.

    I got all this information from an impeachable source, my back fillings.

    So no, Ted, I do not believe the official tale.

  89. 89.

    Culture of Truth

    December 19, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    T&H still won’t answer my question

  90. 90.

    Cassidy

    December 19, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: I’m sorry, pedophile apologist says what? Do we need to report you as as a possible predator?

  91. 91.

    LanceThruster

    December 19, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    @pat:

    A&E for 9/11 Truth probably used calculations other than those transmitted by the back fillings.

  92. 92.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    @pat:

    Thanks for demonstrating one way in which the “shut up shut up shut up” shaming ritual works.

    NO QUESTIONS, NONE, ALLOWED.

  93. 93.

    Kristin

    December 19, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    @Culture of Truth: It’s telling, isn’t it?

  94. 94.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    @Cassidy:

    I’m sorry, pedophile apologist says what? Do we need to report you as as a possible predator?

    Ahhh…the game steps up a few notches already.

    And all one must do is question the narrative.

  95. 95.

    Cassidy

    December 19, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    @Culture of Truth: It won’t answer mine either.

  96. 96.

    Ruckus

    December 19, 2012 at 4:37 pm

    And why is it that the people who always say the government can never do anything right are always the first ones to suggest massive successful government cover-ups?

    Maturity and thought process on the level of 5 yrs old.
    Magic ponies – check
    Phony hero worship – check
    Screaming when they don’t get their way – check
    Not listening when things explained – check
    Their reality isn’t – check
    All their friends are the same – check

  97. 97.

    Cassidy

    December 19, 2012 at 4:37 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: You’re so precious. Of course you can ask questions. Go ahead and ignore as we mock you and laugh. it’s always said that there are no stupid questions, but you my special little kitchen implement have dug down deep and found one.

  98. 98.

    sparrow

    December 19, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    @Raven: Please just ignore Ted&Helen. It’s a narcissist troll that just LOVES it when you talk about it, or stop talking about the subject and starting responding to it. IGNORE is the only option here.

  99. 99.

    Soonergrunt

    December 19, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: With respect to all of this, please refer to my previous, specifically the part about not being a paranoid lunatic.
    Thank you.

  100. 100.

    pat

    December 19, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    Sorry, Ted, exactly what were you asking? Whether we believe the official story about 9/11? I just told you, pretty effectively I thought, that I don’t. Can’t you take “no” for an answer?

  101. 101.

    clayton

    December 19, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    Just this minute a caller on wingnut radio is making this very claim.

  102. 102.

    jp7505a

    December 19, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: It’S a well know fact that Obama was behind 911. It was all part of the plan to get elected dictator and take our guns. First came the fake birth certificate, followed by the fradulent college transscripts. Once he settled in Chicago it was a simple matter for him and his friends Bill Ayers, Saul Alinksy and the folks at Acorn to plan the attack. There is a report that Vince Foster discovered the plot but upon being promised the job of Sec of state, Hillary had Vince wacked. It all ties together. WE link 911 the Clintons and Obama.

  103. 103.

    J.W. Hamner

    December 19, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    I guess my question is, why do the conspiracy theorists think that if he had indeed shot all those kids John Woo style with two handguns that we’d all be “Ooops, just an unavoidable tragedy – nothing we can do,” but since it was a rifle that looks like an M-16 we are “MUST GET ALL GUNS”?

    Logically it would seem to me that the fact that it’s a scary looking gun benefits gun nuts enthusiasts, since the (unfortunate) likely outcome is that scary looking guns will get banned without doing anything to materially make us safer from gun violence. Handguns that could kill that many people that quickly would have more far reaching implications I’d think.

  104. 104.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    December 19, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    T&H:

    Why not just provide photographic coverage of every cubic millimeter of the Earth, from stratosphere to core, every second of every day, in order to catch conspirators in the act? Sacrificing a little privacy for truth would be worth it, wouldn’t it?

    So: Cameras everywhere would be a good thing, no?

    It’s a simple question.

    Yours,

    The Man from the Evil Photographic Industry Lobby

  105. 105.

    Mike Lamb

    December 19, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    @Seth Owen: You said “clip”. You may safely be ignored…

  106. 106.

    jp7505a

    December 19, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    Actually I think we owe T&H a round of applause. It has been a really bad week, Newtown, Bengahzi, the fiscal cliff, christmas shopping. And for one brief shining moment we all have been able to brush up our comedy writing skills! Maybe at the next BJ gettogether you all can buy them some new tinfoil hats. The old ones must be getting a bit rusty by now. Thanks to T&H -:)

  107. 107.

    RobNYNY1957

    December 19, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    I think that Ted & Hellen is trying to imply that if one accepts the basic premises of the office account of 9-11 events but stop short of saying it is completely free of error, then we must admit that the truther theory is entitled to the same sort of deference. But that doesn’t follow.

    I accept the basic premises of the official version (with all of the reservations that go with the limitations on compiling that sort of report), and reject the basic premises of trutherism (which are based on false evidence and on every sort of bad-faith argument, including the one put forward by Ted & Hellen in this thread).

  108. 108.

    Bill Arnold

    December 19, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    Don’t know if it’s been posted yet, this is my favorite Sandy Hook conspiracy screed so far. Just skimmed it, and spotted some conspiracy theory tells. Am assuming it’s not a parody.

  109. 109.

    Haydnseek

    December 19, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: Are the truthers right? Please provide specific evidence for your answer. Shouldn’t be difficult, as it’s a simple question.

  110. 110.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    This thread is a sad and useful display of the fact that concentrated, fear-based, willful stupidity is not limited to the far right, but extends all the way over into the center right too, even the BJ crowd.

    You should all be proud of your support for George W Bush and Dick Cheney, and their slightly different successor.

  111. 111.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    @RobNYNY1957:

    the truther theory

    Is there one, official “truther theory” too? If so, could you outline what that is?

    My larger point is that to question the government story on ANYTHING does not require that one go to the most extreme possible opposite; nor that one claim to have all the answers.

    Bullshit is bullshit and it’s OK to point that out.

  112. 112.

    Bill Arnold

    December 19, 2012 at 5:15 pm

    @Mike Lamb:

    You may safely be ignored…

    LOL.
    The opposite is that anyone who objects (*) to clip (a one syllable word) rather than magazine (a 3 syllable word) can be safely ignored.
    (* other than on pedantic objection to sloppiness grounds)

  113. 113.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    @Haydnseek:

    Are the truthers right?

    Hmmm…what truthers, specifically are you referring to?

    And when you narrow it down to one, why don’t you ask me about a specific aspect of their theory?

    Then perhaps I can answer your question.

    There are lots of theories, as you know, many of which contradict the others. All of them exist because the government has done a piss poor job of explaining what happened, and of filling in glaring holes in their story.

    And people like you promote the government narrative by pretending there is one uniform TRUTHER theory and that not even one aspect of one of them could possibly be true.

    You’re cowards, actually.

  114. 114.

    Mike Lamb

    December 19, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    @Bill Arnold: In truth, I prefer periodical to magazine. So there’s that.

  115. 115.

    Haydnseek

    December 19, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    Telling that you refuse to answer a simple question……@Ted & Hellen:

  116. 116.

    pat

    December 19, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    So Ted, if you have time to enlighten us, what exactly do you believe about 9/11? Where does the official explanation go wrong? Tell us, rather than asking some simple minded question and getting all pissed when we make fun of you. What do YOU believe? Try to be specific.

    Thanks.

  117. 117.

    sheithappens

    December 19, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    Why isn’t fat bastard Christie lover Cole on here bashing Manchin for going back to his wingnut ways by praising the NRA and blaming the Sandy Hook shooting on video games???

    Funny how quick self described ‘former’ Republican Cole is to jump on the praise bandwagon when some asshole wingnut has a momentary lapse of crazy.

  118. 118.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    @pat:

    Even though your question is not asked in earnest, I will answer it as though it were.

    I believe that the government is lying about quite a few aspects of the day’s events, and simply choosing to leave a lot of open questions unanswered as a possible means of fostering uncertainty.

    That is exactly what I believe about it.

    Since I don’t have the resources of the U.S. Federal government at my disposal, I don’t know why. You can bet your ass that if I did have those resources I would use them to get the answers and lay them out clearly.

    Unlike Barack LOOK FORWARD NOT BACK Obama.

  119. 119.

    pat

    December 19, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    Well, so much for the specifics. “Lying about quite a few aspects” is pretty weak sauce, if you ask me. But the government wanting to “foster uncertainty” is an intersting concept.

    Now I’m done here. On to the next conspiracy, the one about the guns used by the shooter in Newtown. Sigh….

    The gullible are always with us.

  120. 120.

    Soonergrunt

    December 19, 2012 at 5:42 pm

    @Mike Lamb: well played.

  121. 121.

    trollhattan

    December 19, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    @Ted & Hellen:

    I have a song. To the tune of “Reveillie”

    Take your meds
    Take your meds
    Take your meds
    Take your meds

    Take your meds
    Take your meds
    Take your me-eds

    Take your meds
    Take your meds
    Take your meds
    Take your meds

    Take your meds now
    Take your meds now
    Take your meds

    You’re welcome.

  122. 122.

    Cassidy

    December 19, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: pedophile apologist says what?

  123. 123.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 6:11 pm

    @pat:

    The gullible are always with us.

    You’re the one that believes the Bush boy’s CYA 9/11 narrative, so I can safely assume you’re projecting here.

  124. 124.

    Mister Harvest

    December 19, 2012 at 6:29 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: Please, do tell us what really happened on Friday, December 14th at Sandy Hook Elementary School. We are prepared for the scales to fall from our eyes.You are clearly in possession of additional information that the rest of us poor humans lack. I await enlightenment.

  125. 125.

    JCT

    December 19, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    @Bill Arnold: This one is out there too, the Joos did it

  126. 126.

    Jay C

    December 19, 2012 at 6:34 pm

    Not eyewitness of all the people there is coming forward to say this happened.

    Just proof that there’s been a conspiracy to cover this up! Obviously, Obama has used his Sinister Kenyan Voodoo Mind-Control powers to cow everyone into shutting up!

    /wingnut

  127. 127.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    @Mister Harvest:

    Please, do tell us what really happened on Friday, December 14th at Sandy Hook Elementary School. We are prepared for the scales to fall from our eyes.You are clearly in possession of additional information that the rest of us poor humans lack. I await enlightenment.

    Weird.

    Can you provide a quote where I said anything about the veracity of that conspiracy theory?

    No? Then shut the fuck up, dumbass.

  128. 128.

    Bobby Thomson

    December 19, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: oh? So this is an admission (not that one is needed) that you are derailing the thread off topic? Why don’t you shut the fuck up, dipshit troll.

  129. 129.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    December 19, 2012 at 7:21 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: Just so we’re on the same page, what “government 9/11 narrative” are you specifically referring to?

    The NIST report?

    The 9/11 Commission report?

    Something else? (There are others out there, of course, but FYWP doesn’t like extensive linkies here.)

    One would expect you to have something specific to point to if you want us to engage you in conversation about it, rather than us to regard you as trolling.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  130. 130.

    Woodrowfan

    December 19, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    same old long debunked truther bullshit. T&H won’t read it (because they’re an idiot) but for anyone else interested in 9/11 debunking of the twoofer crap (like the intercept time BS TH parroted) should check out http://www.debunking911.com/.

    As for T&H, you think you’re smart, but everyone else here is smarter than you, and we know it, and we revel in it… We laugh at you knowing you’re a fool. And nothing you say can change that. Indeed, every time you call us fools or sheeple or whatever other CTer term you chose only further proves to everyone else here that you are THE fool. There are dozens, indeed, hundreds of people reading this now who are laughing at you. Think of a huge theater full of people, pointing and laughing at you because your fly is open and you’re too dim to realize it. And every single, solitary move you make only makes us laugh at you more. You’re trapped, stuck forever. Enjoy that thought tonight as you lay in bed. Somewhere, even as you lay there, a dozen strangers somewhere in the world are laughing at you and your stupidity. Good night. sweet dreams..

  131. 131.

    Wolfdaughter

    December 19, 2012 at 7:49 pm

    Please, everybody, just ignore Ted & Hellen. I know it’s fun to mock, but the best way to get the troll to go away is to ignore it.

  132. 132.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 8:18 pm

    @Bobby Thomson:

    So this is an admission (not that one is needed) that you are derailing the thread off topic?

    Why yes, yes it is.

    I realize there is a strict, no, VERY strict policy at Balloon Juice about not mentioning anything off topic in a thread, but I chose to break that very strict rule that no one else here ever breaks, no not even once, and yes, you may kiss my ass, Little Bobby DougJ.

  133. 133.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 8:19 pm

    @Wolfdaughter:

    Please, everybody, just ignore Ted & Hellen. I know it’s fun to mock, but the best way to get the troll to go away is to ignore it.

    I realize it is important for you to pretend that you are a member of an imaginary cyber “community” here, and that as such you “belong” and have “friends” here, but you are pathetic.

    This troll has been here eight years and is never ever going away. Deal.

  134. 134.

    Ted & Hellen

    December 19, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    @Woodrowfan:

    As for T&H, you think you’re smart, but everyone else here is smarter than you, and we know it, and we revel in it… We laugh at you knowing you’re a fool. And nothing you say can change that. Indeed, every time you call us fools or sheeple or whatever other CTer term you chose only further proves to everyone else here that you are THE fool. There are dozens, indeed, hundreds of people reading this now who are laughing at you. Think of a huge theater full of people, pointing and laughing at you because your fly is open and you’re too dim to realize it. And every single, solitary move you make only makes us laugh at you more. You’re trapped, stuck forever. Enjoy that thought tonight as you lay in bed. Somewhere, even as you lay there, a dozen strangers somewhere in the world are laughing at you and your stupidity. Good night. sweet dreams..

    Hi DougJ.

    If you really mean what you wrote here, you’re even more of a juvenile ass than your anonymous “look at me/look at what I did, guys!” trolling of Sullivan shows.

    Having a theatre full of moronic dupes laughing at me is extremely validating, actually. But there you are…among the dupes.

  135. 135.

    Cassidy

    December 19, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    @Ted & Hellen: Pedophile apologist says what? I’m sorry. can’t hear you over your attempts to justify pedophilia.

  136. 136.

    Bill Arnold

    December 19, 2012 at 11:25 pm

    @JCT:

    This one is out there too, the Joos did it.

    That theory makes me sad.

  137. 137.

    nemesis

    December 20, 2012 at 11:17 am

    @Ted & Hellen:
    Muthafuck, you dumb.

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