Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“When somebody takes the time to draw up a playbook, they’re gonna use it.”

The press swings at every pitch, we don’t have to.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

It’s pointless to bring up problems that can only be solved with a time machine.

People are complicated. Love is not.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

The real work of an opposition party is to oppose.

Fundamental belief of white supremacy: white people are presumed innocent, minorities are presumed guilty.

Sometimes the world just tells you your cat is here.

Democracy cannot function without a free press.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Never give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.

Every reporter and pundit should have to declare if they ever vacationed with a billionaire.

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

I’m more christian than these people and i’m an atheist.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

Dumb motherfuckers cannot understand a consequence that most 4 year olds have fully sorted out.

People identifying as christian while ignoring christ and his teachings is a strange thing indeed.

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Late Night Open Thread: O Holy Shi… LIGHTS!

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36Comments

  1. 1.

    redshirt

    Everyone should use LED lights for everything. FYI – I represent the LED industry.

    Seriously, this is how this works: Each LED light is an IP node. Each node is programmable. Thus, any sort of program can be written, based on the author’s vision. So we have LED Gangnam Style.

  2. 2.

    butler

    Just got back from spending my Christmas Eve with a gaggle of ultra-reactionary in-laws. Spent the night alternating between biting my tongue and drowning my opinions in merlot.

    If you’ll permit me a primal scream:

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

    Thank You. And a Merry Christmas to you all!

  5. 5.

    James E Powell

    @butler:

    That’s what I am facing tomorrow. Many of them haven’t spoken to me since a day or so before the election, when they all assured me that the president was going down. I do not know if they have recovered, or even if the facts have sunk in. I wish there football games on all day.

  6. 6.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    That’s very well done, but I can’t stand 3 1/2 minutes of that music track.

    Put the butterflied turkey breast in the brine about an hour ago, looking forward to it tomorrow.

  8. 8.

    mdblanche

    @butler: A few hours ago I also got back from spending the evening with my wingnut relatives. They were still so shell-shocked from the election that politics barely came up at all. The only real low-light was that they explicitly made clear that when they said “merry Christmas” they meant “f@ck you, non-Christians.”

  9. 9.

    Joey Maloney

    Well, now I know how that song goes from start to finish. I’m not sure what utility there is in that knowledge, but I’m willing to roll with it.

  10. 10.

    magurakurin

    Christmas is just another work day here in Nippon. Kiddies got stockings left by their pillows or on the verandas by Santa. They told me they had proof that Santa had been there because they put a piece of tape over the door and it was torn off in the morning. They use the ole 007 trick to find proof of Santa here, it would seem. Otherwise, it’s just a normal day here. People are in the holiday mood though, because the big New Year holiday is slowly kicking into gear. Things should really start to heat up Thursday and Friday. By Saturday most of the country will be on holidays. Me too, from Sunday on, I’ll give myself a week holiday.

    Saw this and had to laugh

    He wanted to be president less than anyone I’ve met in my life. He had no desire to . . . run,” said Tagg, who worked with his mother, Ann, to persuade his father to seek the presidency. “If he could have found someone else to take his place . . . he would have been ecstatic to step aside.

    I guess Mormon’s don’t do Aesop’s

    Tagg should throw this one on his Kindle

    A very hungry fox walked into a vineyard where there was an ample supply of luscious looking grapes. Grapes had never looked so good, and the fox was famished. However, the grapes hung higher than the fox could reach. He jumped and stretched and hopped and reached and jumped some more trying to get those yummy grapes, but to no avail. No matter what he tried, he could not reach the grapes. He wore himself out jumping and jumping to get the grapes.”Those grapes surely must be sour,” he said as he walked away, “I wouldn’t eat them if they were served to me on a silver platter.”

  11. 11.

    Mustang Bobby

    That was weird… three ghosts just flew by here on their way to the Keys… something about it being too effing cold in England this time of year and the little kid with the crutch was getting on their nerves. Huh.

  15. 15.

    max

    @The prophet Nostradumbass: Where is Algebra or Calc?

    Ack! Linear A. Smith! (Bonus archaeology ref.) Topology “Top” Jones! (Even when you stretch him out he still has a hole in him!)

    “This is my son, Stat.” “He must be in a hurry all the time!” “Huh? Er, no, he’s always trying to meet carefully chosen random people.”

    If they realized it was SCIENCE! they’d probably start naming their kids shit like ‘Inerrant’.

    Whatever. I just turned the sound down and watched the lights, maintaining my track record of successfully avoiding viewing or listening to anything involving ‘Gangnam’. Was kinda a human pinball there for awhile.

    Anyways, the sun is not up (but I am), the Christmas is white on the ground (appropriate for around here), and it’s time to cook, so Merry Christmas to my fellow libtards and also the fucking trolls, and the entire world ’round. But never ever to any Republican politicians.

    max
    [‘I still totally want to make a Klan scarecrow and torch it on my lawn.’]

  16. 16.

    ruemara

    I like making things for people I like. Usually, it’s jewelry or fun baked goods. This year has been a bit light on that sort of thing and there’s a lot of people to thank these days, including the evil Obot cabal and pet worshippers of Balloon Juice, so, here’s my silly Christmas card to you all.

  18. 18.

    Raven

    The sun is not yet up over Falwell U but we’ll be blowing this puke hole most rickey tic. The right wing in-laws have been pretty tame but, then, so have I. The BIL does not like guns but gave the 21 year old a 9 because that’s what he wanted. The conversation only got so deep as “I’m not sure laws would work”. I said “probably not a reason not to try”. We only have to do breakfast and then hit the road so I think a major conflagration is avoidable.

  19. 19.

    NotMax

    For those who may never have seen it:

    Somewhat stilted by today’s standards, the 1935 British movie version of “A Christmas Carol” briskly clocks in at about an hour and a quarter.

    Seymour Hicks enjoyed a long, long career playing Scrooge. What this version lacks in special effects budgeting and wizardry it makes up for in gloomy, almost expressionistic atmospherics.

    And it is the only film version I know of which doesn’t shy away from showing Tiny Tim’s cold, dead body in the future sequence.

  22. 22.

    cmorenc

    @James E Powell:

    That’s what I am facing tomorrow. Many of them haven’t spoken to me since a day or so before the election, when they all assured me that the president was going down. I do not know if they have recovered, or even if the facts have sunk in. I wish there football games on all day.

    You needn’t say a thing to them about the election, but if any of them starts to mention anything, adopt the smug grin of a wise man tolerating the fools around him.

  25. 25.

    Emma

    @ruemara: That is just perfect. With us, it was the dog, who had never in his four years wanted to come near the Christmas tree. This year, he discovered that when I get nostalgic, I put candy canes on the tree as the finishing touch. Off came the candy canes after we realized why so many were ending up on the floor!

    We had a very nice Christmas Eve party (Cubans do Noche Buena) and today we are heading to my sisters for a Christmas Day brunch. Most of the same people plus some that couldn’t make it last night. Then I turn into a (secular) nun until New Years Eve.

  26. 26.

    butler

    @NotMax: A good telling of ACC should be brisk like that. I have no idea how George C. Scott managed to stretch a Christmas Carol into a 2+ hour affair. Even The Muppets managed it in 90 minutes, and that included a dozen musical numbers.

  29. 29.

    baldheadeddork

    Helpful tip for anyone spending the day with butthurt conservative relatives. If one of the dittoheads asks you to pass the potatoes, put on your best shit-eating smile and say “Yes, we can.”

  31. 31.

    Ajaye

    Love that light show. It is so good Psy should show up and dance all day for them.
    Not being a Christian this is exactly the kind of crass, materialistic, cynical or just pure pop culture fun as hell stuff I love about Christmas.

    Yes. I am going to a Kosher chinese restaurant for dinner tonite with friends who have recently moved to Nebraska and are visiting. Not a single kosher chinese restaurant in all of Nebraska apparently so they are insisting. But everyone is still sleeping so movie is looking doubtful.

  32. 32.

    Mnemosyne

    @MattF:

    Meh. I’d rather have that on my street than a bunch of “Jesus Is The Reason For The Season!” blow-up Nativity scenes.

    As long as they turn it off by 10:00 pm, that is. I need my beauty sleep.

  33. 33.

    nellcote

    If that was my neighbor and those blinking lights were going for days on end, I’d seriously consider using them for target practice.

  34. 34.

    John M. Burt

    @mdblanche: Yes, I have heard “Merry Christmas” spoken in the tones which make it mean, “Fsck you, non-Christians”.
    And I will never forget the guy who said as he sidled past me, “Jesus loves you” in tones which normally accompany a sentiment such as “Your mother’s a whore”.
    And the woman who screeched “Jeeeesus is Loooord!” from a car window in a voice which reminded me of Invasion of the Body Snatchers….

  35. 35.

    John M. Burt

    @butler: I have always liked the idea of staging A Christmas Carol with Dickens center stage, rehearsing one of his famous public readings while behind him the actors perform the scenes (speaking their own lines while Dickens mouths them).
    I specify rehearsing because periodically he interrupts himself (and the actors) to end a scene prematurely and truncate or eliminate it, as he actually did (eventually whittling the story down to a one-hour reading).

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