Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“Joe Biden deserved better than he got from some folks in his own party.”

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Be a traveling stable for those who can’t find room at the inn.

In after Baud. Damn.

GOP baffled that ‘we don’t care if you die’ is not a winning slogan.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

“Why isn’t this Snickers bar only a nickel?”

Bark louder, little dog.

“Loving your country does not mean lying about it’s history.”

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

Pelosi: “He either is stupid, or he thinks the rest of us are.” Why not both?

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

“Let’s not pretend [Trump] wants to engage in high-minded discourse.”

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

Cole, when it comes to calico cats, restraint is overrated.

You are here: Home / z-Retired Categories / Previous Site Maintenance / It’s Time

It’s Time

by | 135 Comments

This post is in: 

We will be doing a site rebuild in February, and I just wanted you to know that there is a gmail address where you can send your suggestions:

[email protected]

I personally want to move back to a three column set-up with ads and other crap on both sides with the content in the middle, but I am open to suggestions.

And holy shit, Louisville is bringing it to Florida.

Reader Interactions

135Comments

  4. 4.

    PsiFighter37

    @Comrade Mary: MOVE ZIG!!

    I’m interested to see what this will bring. If it results in less FYWP moments, I’m “all in”, just not in the Paula Broadwell sense.

  5. 5.

    burnspbesq

    Can you put the switch that turns mobile format on and off at the top of the page, instead of at the bottom? Would be more convenient.

    Hmmm … I guess Betty’s going to be a little snappish tomorrow morning.

  6. 6.

    RinaX

    Change, noooooooooo!!!11!1eleventy1!!

    Go with pastels on the site rebuild John. Everyone loves pastels.

    I disagree. Get a really dark background with tiny, light-colored letters. People can’t get enough of that!

  11. 11.

    Michael G

    Nobody uses the color orange enough. Make everything orange.

    Also, that way you won’t clash with GOS anymore.

  12. 12.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    If I can’t access it Latin then, as far as I’m concerned, it’s fucked.

    How’s that for help, John?

  14. 14.

    jefft452

    “I personally want to move back to a three column set-up ”

    I think single column is easier to read,
    but it’s your site, so do as you will
    I come for the content, not the format

  17. 17.

    Suzanne

    @Just Some Fuckhead: No, no, no. Everyone loves GREIGE.

    I miss the Bodoni Extra Bold post numbers, and getting the ads out of the middle would be great, because I often click on them accidentally on my iPad when trying to load comments.

  19. 19.

    KT

    The email bounced. Here is what I said:

    Since New Years or so, when visiting from my iPad, occasionally the phone version shows up, which is annoying because there is plenty of room on the iPad for the regular site. Would prefer to ony ever see regular site on iPad.

    Other than that, I got nothin. Keep up the good work. I guess there is one other thing…

    I realize that the GOP is worse, but I am getting very leery of all the encroachments on the 4,5,and 6 amendments by Obama. It needs attention. I am not happy at all about the banks shutting down OWS via police I pay for, coordinated by FBI. But will not pollute a thread with that concern.

  21. 21.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    The site needs a function where, when Andrew Sullivan changes his color scheme in pretend solidarity with some group, Balloon Juice automatically changes to something different.

  22. 22.

    Ed in NJ

    SEC is so overrated. Their teams are giving up 30+ points in the bowl games. After facing Rutgers, the Florida D had to seem like playing a JV team.

    I hate Notre Dame, but they are going to beat Alabama.

  23. 23.

    Mnemosyne

    I suddenly realized that I spent all day yesterday watching the Rose Parade and never bothered to find out who won the football game that follows.

    It was Stanford, if anyone cares.

  25. 25.

    srv

    If you moved the Contacts and the gigantic/dated blogroll to a tab or something, you could save a lot of space and go to two columns. With the ad column being the default tab.

  26. 26.

    AnotherBruce

    How about turning it into a porn site? Call it Green Balloons. This can be lucrative so you can donate more proceeds to the Democratic Party.

  27. 27.

    honus

    @Ed in NJ: Think about what the announcers would have been saying about who didn’t belong in the game if the uniforms had been reversed tonight.

  32. 32.

    RareSanity

    @Ed in NJ:

    SEC is so overrated.

    You do realize that you’re saying that a conference that has won the last 6 national championships, with 3 different teams, is overrated…right?

    I hate Notre Dame, but they are going to beat Alabama.

    Yeah…that’s not going to happen.

  35. 35.

    Roger Moore

    @Joel:

    Animated GIFs, lots of those.

    And blink tags everywhere. Nothing else will show what a VSP you are.

    On a more serious note, I’d like to see the main text column be variable width again, so it uses all available space between the sidebars. And bring back the rotating tags at the top, which seem to have disappeared.

  36. 36.

    BGinCHI

    I don’t see why there can’t just be a delicious smell when you first open the web site.

    It could be whatever Jeffrey is cooking. Not Cole’s house unless he’s making a roast or something.

    I also think a Cole web cam is long overdue.

  37. 37.

    Journeywoman

    @burnspbesq: This may sound silly, but THANK YOU for your comment – the site has been repeatedly (though not consistently) loading on my iPad in the mobile format lately, and it was driving me nuts. I had never bothered to scroll all the way down when this happened, so I had no idea there was a switch.Yaaay!

  39. 39.

    Ed in NJ

    @RareSanity:

    Gaming the system by having 8 top 25 teams to start every season guarantees that the SEC always will have a team in the BCS Championship. They beat each other and then everyone says they played the toughest schedule. But they never play a single game in weather below 50 degrees, and rarely outside the south. While everyone else has to battle their schedule and the elements. Everyone outside SEC country who knows anything about college football knows this.

  42. 42.

    BGinCHI

    @Yutsano: Plus an annual convention or some kind of Burning Man thing.

    Or a Tunchapalooza concert for charity. I’ll talk to Rahm.

  43. 43.

    PurpleGirl

    @Joel:
    @themann1086:

    No animated GIFs, no autoplay midi sounds.

    Animated stuff makes me anxious — turns on a neurological over-stimulation problem. I use Flash Blocker and AdBlocker to keep from having to deal with animations now. Any other animations I can’t control will drive me away from the site.

  44. 44.

    Suffern ACE

    @RareSanity:

    You do realize that you’re saying that a conference that has won the last 6 national championships, with 3 different teams, is overrated…right?

    Yeah, but just wait until Rutgers and Maryland join the Big 10. Then we’ll see who wins. Or t least who gets the most money that goes God knows where to fund God knows what, most likely child soldier divisions somewhere.

  46. 46.

    handy

    I liked the previous site personally. This one has always felt rather unrefined (well, so was the last one but it just seems like it’s worse now).

  47. 47.

    handy

    I would mention something about fixing FYWP, but we all know that’s asking for the impossible.

  48. 48.

    RareSanity

    @Ed in NJ:

    Gaming the system by having 8 top 25 teams to start every season guarantees that the SEC always will have a team in the BCS Championship.

    First, they don’t vote themselves into the top 25. Secondly, they still have to win all the games on their schedule.

    But they never play a single game in weather below 50 degrees, and rarely outside the south.

    Well that’s a function of their geographic location, so I don’t see what point that is. Also, it has nothing to do with he fact that they’ve beaten teams on neutral fields in the championship games.

    For the past 5 years (not including the SEC/SEC game), they have beaten the team that played them in the national championship game. That is the measure of the best team. What you’re saying is that because they don’t play in snow, they’re not any good? Sounds like a lot of hate coming from you.

    Also sounds like a midwesterner mourning the good ole days when the Big 10 was actually relavent.

    Everyone outside SEC country who knows anything about college football knows this.

    Right…everyone thinks that. I think that everyone in your social circle believes that…doesn’t make it true.

    You want there to be other determining factors to decide the champion, instead of winning in a championship game. That’s not going to happen. Whether or not a team plays in snow, will never be a determining factor for how good a team is…because they don’t play championship games in the snow.

    Here’s a bit on common knowledge you may not be aware of…the only people that talk about “the elements” are the people that have to deal with them. There’s a reason that most of the top athletes go to schools in warmer climates…nobody likes playing in “the elements”.

  49. 49.

    amk

    Fix the block quote thingy at least now. I am cool with the present lefty orientation.

    And segregate mobile site from the regular site completely with a different url.

  52. 52.

    Soup of the evening

    @Journeywoman:

    The ‘off’ switch never seems to work on my tablet. Scrolling down past eleventy-something comments to reach this nonworking switch is icing on the cake, I guess.

  53. 53.

    Mnemosyne

    I was having a different (and even more annoying) problem with the mobile site on my iPhone — it would randomly turn on and off, and there didn’t seem to be any way to force it to stay “on.”

    A couple of people recommended that I clear my cookies and history, but it didn’t seem to help. After clicking on a couple of posts, it would switch off again and I would have to clear history and cookies all over again.

    So I also vote for having a m.balloon-juice.com URL rather than the buggy on/off switch.

  54. 54.

    eemom

    We will be doing a site rebuild in February,

    There Will Not Be Any Posts Between Now And Then Where John Cole Tells Everybody To STFU And DIAF Until After The Rebuild Is Done, And Other Stories

  55. 55.

    Comrade Mary

    @Mnemosyne: I was having the same problem. I don’t know if it was a coincidence, but after clearing history and cookies, I didn’t go back into any threads that had shown the desktop style instead of mobile style. I was shown the desktop home page a few more times when I returned, but then the home page and all new threads flipped to mobile. And ever since, I get pure mobile.

    Still buggy, though. I’d also vote for a separate URL for the mobile site.

  56. 56.

    Suzanne

    I also personally miss the old blue gradient banner at the top with the black “Balloon Juice” and the little illustration. The one you have now is like New Coke.

  57. 57.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn

    I’d be all about requiring logging on to post comments, wherein the commenter-to-be would be presented at the beginning of each session with a short list of questions designed to determine their familiarity with scientific method. Fail = remaining on the sidelines, barking.

    Actually, my first idea was a commenting log-on process that would operate as a mental breathalyzer to screen out drunk posts, but the I realized this place would be a ghost town after 5:00.

  61. 61.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn

    Oh, and courier font and a flashing siren. Then, we could party every day like it’s 1999.

  64. 64.

    Bubblegum Tate

    I want a realistic down-to-earth blog that’s completely off the wall and swarming with magic robots. And I want to win stuff by reading!

  65. 65.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn

    And ads featuring scantily-clad chicks smushing cream pies into each other’s faces. I hear that totally drove up page visits at some other lib site.

  68. 68.

    sharl

    The idea of a ‘Preview’ button has been discussed in the past, and rejected, IIRC because it creates too many problems with the site. But if those problems could be resolved, it would be worth considering again. And if the Preview button was operated by magic pastel robots, that would be especially awesome.

  70. 70.

    ? Martin

    We will be doing a site rebuild in February, and I just wanted you to know that there is a gmail address where you can send your suggestions:

    Great, we’re off to design the Homer again.

  71. 71.

    Jewish Steel

    Now don’t just automatically say no, just hear me out and picture it for a moment: Sexy dancing avatars.

    Eh? Eh? Nice, huh? Class the joint up some.

  74. 74.

    The Dangerman

    Deep philosophical thought with lots of questions that can’t be answered.

    The last digit of pi?

    The meaning of life?

    Ginger or Mary Ann?

  76. 76.

    Suffern ACE

    @Jewish Steel: Can we settle for “suggestive” avatars? Some of the stuff people on the internet find sexy is wrong. I don’t want to be up all night correcting them.

  78. 78.

    Calouste

    Next post/previous post at the bottom would be nice. And don’t bother with the mobile site, it’s useless.

  79. 79.

    Librarian

    That’s right, bring back the little man with the umbrella, or whatever it was. I miss him.

  80. 80.

    Humble Lurker

    I personally want to move back to a three column set-up with ads and other crap on both sides with the content in the middle,

    This. That change was my only problem with the last rebuild.

  81. 81.

    brettvk

    I’ve spent the whole time since the last redesign trying to figure out if the doohickey on the search box is a truncated banner or a deformed limb.

  82. 82.

    Anne Laurie

    @Suffern ACE:

    Like buttons, embedded comment chains and would you please friend me on facebook?

    I seriously considered banhammering you for that comment, comrade.

    Fair warning.

  85. 85.

    NotMax

    Mouse-over of any instance of the acronym FYWP triggers a sad trombone sound.

    And zombies. Everyone loves zombies.

    @themann1086

    Also too, blinking text. :·)

  88. 88.

    TheMightyTrowel

    @NotMax:

    Mouse-over of any instance of the acronym FYWP triggers a sad trombone sound

    Oh my god THIS please!

    Also can you put in a robot commenter that automatically responds to anyone complaining about the ads google shows them to say that those ads reflect their own damn browsing history and are not a conspiracy by the bloggers to assault their eyes with unwanted crap. I think the bot-comment should be intensely profane and include lots of words that set off FYWP so that all replies get moderated and don’t show.

  89. 89.

    Thor Heyerdahl

    @mikej(droid):

    The experiment with the web has failed. We demand a gopher interface.

    What about those of us who didn’t graduate from the University of Minnesota?

    Next you’ll be asking for telnet access…

  90. 90.

    YellowJournalism

    @Yutsano: That was nothing compared to the horror of the Pamela Anderson and anti-meat ads. And I also vote to bring back the old BJ logo with rotating captions.

    Also for the site redo? One word: wingdings!

  92. 92.

    Xenos

    I would like to vote in favor of the current large-text-field on the left format. It works better with the cheap laptops I usually use, where scrolling right-to-left is a real pain in the neck.

    Navigation buttons at the foot of the comments would also be nice. Barring that, please keep the little arrow-thingy that, with a single click, takes you back to the top of the post, so one can navigate from there.

    As for the blogroll: why not trash it? There is something awfully 2004 about a blogroll, and half the links are dead in any case.

  93. 93.

    Schlemizel

    @Xenos:

    I know I’m old but I use the blogroll to visit sites every day. Sure I could create bookmarks for each of the sites I want to visit but I drop by BJ so often & it easier to just click over there.

    Plus it introduced me to John Scalzi after I had given up on SF novels and Ta-Nehisi Coates when the Atlantic was overloaded with some of the worst ‘thinkers’ available. That last one alone is reason enough for it to be around in perpetuity.

  95. 95.

    Schlemizel

    @Thor Heyerdahl:

    Maybe some of you kids are not old enough to remember when the go-fer interface was THE thing. So cool & hep & happenin’. Never be first to the market with innovation.

    Now if I could get BJ on my TTY33 that would be cool, I’d have the paper tape backup copy!

  96. 96.

    tjmn

    Please consider changing the glaring white background to something that is easier on the eyes. Thank you.

  98. 98.

    Baud

    If you could make it so a loud video clip automatically plays when you come to the site, that would be great.

  104. 104.

    Elizabelle

    I love the numbering of comments, and clean comments interface.

    Absolutely hated it when the NYTimes changed its commenting software and removed numbered comments. Now the readers comments are just a mass, rather than discrete responses. A real problem when there are 400+ comments.

    RE blogroll: maybe update and keep it, but behind a link that those interested can click on?

    I would also love to be able to sort by commenter — for example, to be able to search for all “Kay” posts so that I can find the particular one on voting rights I’m searching.

    Could you add a tag for posts by Kay, posts by mistermix, etc.?

    Wouldn’t mind seeing a tag for Lily pictures, Rosie pictures, Tunch photos … because they’re not up there frequently enough!

  107. 107.

    amk

    @tjmn: If you use firefox, then you can try this addon.

    https://urandom.ca/nosquint/

    You can customize any website to the background color and font you prefer.

    All my websites are all set to very dull grey with black letters. No strain on the eyes going from one url to another.

  110. 110.

    J.D. Rhoades

    @themann1086:

    Flashing GIFs! With MIDI sound effects!

    Oooh…retro! Takes me back to the glory days, when “porn on the internet” meant still photos that downloaded so slowly they might as well have been coming from the Galileo deep space probe.

    Or so I’ve heard.

  115. 115.

    Donut

    @Valdivia:

    I pretty much visit the site only from my iPad these days.

    I kinda like the ‘R-ussian R-oulette’-esque aspect of loading the front page. You never know, will you get the desktop or the mobile site? Keeps things spicy!

  116. 116.

    Maude

    I’d like to see the background color the lightish gray it was before. The three columns layout was better.
    I miss the balloon man header.
    A troll zapper, like the one on Curiosity would be nice.

  120. 120.

    Forum Transmitted Disease

    You’re signal to noise ratio on the site’s becoming a real problem, Mr. Cole. You need to institute real user accounts and an “ignore list” like every other damn site on the internet has.

  121. 121.

    Forum Transmitted Disease

    Dump Pat Lang!

    @Raven: Got to second this motion. He’s become a sad old man screaming about the Negro menace and the gubbmint taking away his guns. Damn shame, he used to be worth the effort to read. Not any longer.

  125. 125.

    cleek

    @Cassidy:
    the script has a set of built-in phrases that you can edit yourself, if you want. it’s Javascript, but the phrase section should be pretty simple to understand even for non-programmers.

    (Manage add-ons, right click on the BJ Pie Filter, “Edit”, scroll down a little, find the list, add your own)

  126. 126.

    Thatgaljill

    I like the current layout, but like others have said, I come for the content. My only suggestion would be the addition of the last post/next post links at the bottom above the “Leave a Reply” area, so you can navigate top and bottom.

  127. 127.

    Lee

    For the love of FSM please let us subscribe to threads so we know when new comments are posted.

    As a tech person you should be embarassed that you don’t provide at least that minimum amount of functionality on your site (I’ve given up on threaded comments)

  128. 128.

    Roger Moore

    @cleek:

    anyone still using the pie filter?

    Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! Please, please, please keep the pie filter up to date. I love the pie filter. And please add “Revenge is a dish best served with pie!” to the list of stock phrases.

  132. 132.

    stormhit

    @RareSanity:

    The Big Ten was never that relevant, Michigan and Ohio State were, with occasionally great teams from other schools– like most conferences. The issues that both of those schools have had over the last 5 years are well known, but OSU also just went undefeated and a basically talent-free Michigan was barely beaten by a top ten SEC team.

    The issue people have with the insane conference worship that SEC fans (and only SEC fans, as nobody else roots for their conference like that) engage in is not that Alabama or LSU or anyone else who has won a championship isn’t a great team, it’s the notion that the midlevel schools are also incredibly powerful juggernauts just because SEC.

  133. 133.

    burnspbesq

    @stormhit:

    The issue people have with the insane conference worship that SEC fans (and only SEC fans, as nobody else roots for their conference like that)

    Not exactly. Back in the day, before the league started its creeping merger with the Big East. ACC basketball fans could be pretty chauvanistic about the conference.

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