Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

I also would like a pony to improve my balloon juice experience.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

with the Kraken taking a plea, the Cheese stands alone.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Republicans in disarray!

This blog will pay for itself.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

Let there be snark.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

He imagines himself as The Big Bad, Who Is Universally Feared… instead of The Big Jagoff, Who Is Universally Mocked.

Let me file that under fuck it.

How any woman could possibly vote for this smug smarmy piece of misogynistic crap is beyond understanding.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

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Reader Interactions

135Comments

  5. 5.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Yutsano and I have been planning this with Tunch for some time now, because of the football-game-that-shall-not-be-named.

    We were just waiting for Cole to slip up and go off to bed.

    Tunch is the mastermind. I can’t take credit…

  8. 8.

    gogol's wife

    Downton Abbey truly was excellent, better than Season 2. Despite my fears, Shirley MacLaine was good.

  10. 10.

    Liquid

    @sb:

    Yeah that and the whole pot thing. Woke up this morning and what do I see on the front page of the Times? A giant field-o-pot.

    Turn on the TV and what’s MSNBC talking about? Pot.

    I gotta go see my guy as a lack of green is seriously beginning to damage my calm.

    ETA: Oh and 56 degrees is cold? Ha! I wash my balls in ice water! This is warm!

  11. 11.

    Alison

    I have two totally unrelated questions, folks.

    1) Any recommendations for meat-focused cookbooks that are very basic, down-home, non-gourmet/locavore/foodie type? My brother has gotten into cooking and is most definitely a carnivore and also definitely not into anything frou-frou or upscale.

    2) AAA came to my rescue today, thank Christ, though it turned out to be a very simple fix. But after he left, I suddenly though…shit, is it customary to tip them?? I have no idea. The last time I used them was many years ago, and since all you do is show your card and sign a little slip, it didn’t even occur to me at the time. But then I also thought it would be weird to just pull out some cash, especially since I’d have no clue how much to give since there’s no set price on which to base a percentage…

  12. 12.

    Punchy

    Are there any male weathermen anywhere that DONT have male pattern baldness? Does getting into weatherman skool require thinning hair and shitty combovers?

  13. 13.

    Ted & Hellen

    Anyone else think “Zero Dark Thirty” blows the big one?

    I got about 15 minutes in and was bored stiff.

    Beginning to think the rave reviews are Pentagon plants.

  14. 14.

    piratedan

    @Villago Delenda Est: I wanna know who decided on chickens… I thought we were still voting on this, not to mention that having a coup means someone has to go out everyday and check for eggs.

  15. 15.

    maya

    @Punchy: It’s a normal side effect from all those lightening strikes they go through at Wetfinger U. The survivors, that is.

  16. 16.

    Yutsano

    @Alison: Michael Symon has a good one that might be good for him. Plus he’s a really entertaining writer to boot.

    AAA guys don’t expect tips so don’t sweat that. If you think about it, you’re really not paying them, so it’s a little strange to add on the top.

    @Villago Delenda Est: Rosie is continuing her sabotage operations as planned. Now we just need to get Lily distracted…

  18. 18.

    Liquid

    @Ted & Hellen:

    I just love that they show the four-scope NVGs. Standard NVGs screw with your depth perception which is kinda critical if you’re gonna double-tap Tangos.

  23. 23.

    Yutsano

    @Liquid: Just remember: if you go for the king, you best not miss. Else you shall be subject to His Tunchness’ fierce paw of Justice.

  24. 24.

    Maude

    @Alison:
    It’s got all the basic information. You can look things up. Other cook books can be used in addition. I have had one for a long time.
    I got one used. If you have used book stores, have a look there.

  26. 26.

    Alison

    @Maude: I do have a local bookstore with a huge used books section. My only thing with a book like that is he probably has little use for recipes for desserts, salads, soups, etc. Mainly he makes dinners and like I said, just very straightforward meat-and-potatoes type stuff. But I will flip through it and see what it’s like :)

  28. 28.

    ulee

    sure..go off to bed, fake a concussion, fake a blood clot, and then you won’t have to go to work on Monday you fuckin fakir.

  30. 30.

    AA+ Bonds

    I think that part of Zero Dark Thirty’s overwhelming mediocrity is because it is based on real words said by people who learned how to talk from TV shows. That and it was directed by the director of the overwhelmingly mediocre The Hurt Locker.

  31. 31.

    Liquid

    @AA+ Bonds:

    I’m just curious if they use standard Blackhawks or they show the stealth mods. Not like we haven’t already seen them from pics.

  34. 34.

    Liquid

    @AA+ Bonds:

    From what I recall the rear prop resembled a Comanche and there were some other juicy details. I remember reading somewhere that the primary rotor assembly could ‘pulse’ electricity through the blades to deaden the sound. Too bad it probably wound up going to the Chinese.

    But then if we’re to believe that an EOD team moves as a solo unit who cares about details?

  36. 36.

    Comrade Bob

    Lightning is a very powerful and terrifying force of nature. I was once caught on a lake with a storm that came up quickly. I had proceeded onto the lake without first seeking the guidance of a weatherman. This was a big lake and it took like an hour to get back to the dock. It was very scary for me and my companion although I did not display my fear and believe she was very impressed with my nautical skills. Nonetheless, we need to provide weathermen with the respect they deserve. Each life is precious and, if we can save only one, the money and respect we pay weathermen is 100% worth it.

  41. 41.

    Liquid

    @The prophet Nostradumbass:

    Oh come on! I’m a pretty jaded/cynical person when it comes to movies but Strange Days was fun!

    Anything with Michael Wincott is a plus!

    “My daddy used to tell me that every man has his devil and you can’t rest ’till you find him.”

  47. 47.

    ulee

    @Comrade Bob: The Weatherman hates you and wishes you were dead and wishes he was with the woman who almost died because you did not listen to him. The woman with be with the weatherman and you will be alone but you will not be hit by lightning. You will die a long a lingering death.

  51. 51.

    boss bitch

    I’ve already seen all of season 3 and all I will say is that the end is going to cause a coast to coast “WTF?!!”.

  56. 56.

    Liquid

    Jeepers H. Crackers! Are you people high?! Because I’m not and it’s starting to irritate me. <- Also why Strange Days was fun.

  59. 59.

    Kay Eye

    @Alison: A tip is nice. You’re not paying them, but the people who are paying them don’t pay much. Your added thank-you is nice, but not necessary.

  60. 60.

    Comrade Bob

    I would most humbly and willingly have donated that female to the weatherman should I have known then what I know now. Perhaps he could have used various techniques that they teach in weatherman-school to have compelled her to be sane, or at least prepare a meal for her mate after a long day of his labor as she sits at home on her ass watching the Gilmore Girls. It really is not important for a lady to prepare a fancy meal for her man to make him happy; for example warmed-up chicken nuggets and a can of beer go a really long way to seal the deal and engender a long and loving relationship. However, this was not to be the case for me with her. The skills of the weatherman are, nonetheless, important to all of us.

  61. 61.

    AA+ Bonds

    Eraser has a better ending than Strange Days. At least Arnold kills the guy instead of the guy spontaneously deciding to shoot himself in the head.

  63. 63.

    Liquid

    @AA+ Bonds:

    Alright, first it was blasphemy but favoring Eraser over Strange Days is crossing the line into heresy. Somebody fetch the nails.

    Actually screw the nails, bring me a stake and some kindling.

  64. 64.

    Yutsano

    @SatanicPanic: Plus I have troule trolling entertainment blogs. I’m not much of a movie fanatic (I’m watching Buck Rogers on Netflix right now, don’t hate!) and I tend to keep up on pop culture only vicariously. And yes I’m one of those hipster douches who doesn’t have a TV. But that had more to do with ridiculous cable rates than anything else.

  66. 66.

    ulee

    what’s kind of funny is I tried to hang myself on New Years Eve but the rope broke and I had a terrible burn on my neck and when I saw my doctor on Wednesday, I wore a turtleneck sweater and she didn’t see it and I told her all was well. I feel alright since then but I feel bad that I lied to her. I’m not going to kill myself now but it’s been embarrassing since I’ve had to hide the mark.

  68. 68.

    Yutsano

    @Liquid: I think Netflix has been on a buying spree. It could be them trying to define themselves as different from Hulu and other such services. I’m choosing to not complain. :)

  69. 69.

    Uncle Cosmo

    Helzbelz, I’ll take Maggie Smith’s no-liners. The look the old girl launched in the direction of Shirley MacLaine as the latter took her hand whilst singing “Let Me Call You Sweetheart” was worth the price of admission all by itself.

  70. 70.

    SatanicPanic

    @Yutsano: I am right there with you. I’d have cable and a new TV if I could afford it. I’m on the music beat because I can get radio for free. I’m going to expand what I do a little, just kind of getting my feet wet right now. I didn’t want to do politics because there are so many people, even on this blog, who do it so much better than I ever could.

  71. 71.

    Liquid

    @ulee:

    Come to Seattle. We’re so adept at inconveniencing people even the Aurora bridge jumpers get pissed off.

    I am authorized for black humor as a friend of mine jumped off the Magnolia bridge back when we were fifteen.

    How a wonderful, bright girl such as herself could become so lost and despondent without so much as a hint (or coming to her friends for help) is something I won’t ever forget.

  72. 72.

    ulee

    @handy: I’m working on it. I don’t want to die but noone gives a shit and I don’t blame them. If I were in their position, I’d say, do it, don’t do it, don’t bother me with your protestations.

  74. 74.

    PurpleGirl

    @ulee: Not to be too nosy, but what kind of doctor did you see last Wednesday — internist or psych of some stripe? You should tell the doctor about it, damn any embarrassment, because it is a marker of how you’re feeling. (I’ve seen a number of psych professionals over the years for different problems.) Think of it as working on yourself to make your life better.

  75. 75.

    gene108

    @ulee:

    I don’t want to die but noone gives a shit and I don’t blame them. If I were in their position, I’d say, do it, don’t do it, don’t bother me with your protestations.

    I’ve survived my own suicide attempts.

    You do need professional help.

    Can you afford to go to an ER?

    EDIT: I give a shit. We’re all valuable connecting links in the lives of people.

  78. 78.

    gene108

    H2 (Formerly History Channel International) is having a 2 hour “documentary” about the Middle Ages.

    They are going over the Moorish invasion of Europe.

    They make it sound like the Moors were a bad influence. They talk about the slaughter and looting of the Moorish advance.

    They fail to mention the learning, trade, tolerance and general prosperity the Moors brought with them, compared to Christian Europe.

  79. 79.

    ulee

    I’m sure that many people have been in this ricudulous situation. The burn on my neck was bad enough that I have hid it and applied neopsponrin to alleviate it. I will get help, I think. I’m glad I don’t have a gun in the house. I always said I won’t keep a gun in the house because of my suicidal tendencies. This was my first real attempt. Thankyou all for your concerns. Gene–Yeah, I’ve got horrible insurance, I work for a living, but I’m just very sad. I may do it or not. I don’t know. It hurt alot.

  80. 80.

    SatanicPanic

    @gene108: I thought their influence on Spanish architecture was beautiful, that was one of the highlights of visiting Spain many years ago.

    And thanks for being the first ever commenter on our blog!

  81. 81.

    Liquid

    *
    *
    |Hold your light,
    Eleven, Lead me through each
    gentle step,
    By step,
    By inch by loaded memory,

    I’ll move,
    To heal,
    As soon as pain allows so we
    can,
    Reunite,
    And both move on together,

    Hold,
    Your light,
    Eleven lead me through each
    gentle step,
    By step,
    By inch by loaded memory
    ’till,

    One,
    And one are one,
    Eleven.
    So glow,
    Child,
    Glow.

    I’m heading back home…|

    –Tool – Jimmy

    Sounds insane and counterproductive (more so if you know what it means) but it’s one of my favorites I turn to in my darker moods. That and ‘Judith.’ One of many. Anyway.

  83. 83.

    ulee

    Puplegirl–she is a general practictioner, a very good person. It’s strange how easy it was to trick her. I wore a turtleneck and when she went to take my heart rate she said, “You’re all bundled up.” But it worked. I was afraid they would put me in the hospital. But shes a great doctor. She gave me Propanolol to help with the panic attacs and, of course, fluoxetine.

  84. 84.

    gene108

    @ulee:

    After my last suicide attempt, I was told to go the crisis center at a local hospital.

    I was sort of where you are. I knew something wasn’t right, but I didn’t know what to do to get better.

    I got committed and started getting some treatment, which was the first step to getting better.

    I cooperated with treatment, so I was out of in-patient in about one week and spent a week in a very good out patient program, so that’s not too much time off of work.

    If you go to an ER and tell them about your suicide attempt, someone there can help recommend treatment. Maybe you aren’t as messed up as I was and won’t get hospitalized, but at least you’ll get put in the right direction for getting the right type of treatment.

    Depression is a medical condition and requires treatment to get better, like any other medical condition from a sprained ankle to high cholesterol.

  85. 85.

    PurpleGirl

    @ulee: A doctor I’ve been talking with recommended the following web site to me. It’s aimed at helping people with depression. It doesn’t replace a doctor but it can help with other therapy or fill in until therapy can be undertaken. The site is free.

    https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

  86. 86.

    gene108

    @SatanicPanic:

    Your welcome.

    I’ve wondered why singers have to write their own lyrics these days, from Alicia keys to Taylor Swift to Katey Parry.

    Sinatra didn’t write most of his stuff.

    I’m not sure, when it became mandatory for singers (especially it seems female singers) to write their own lyrics. I think this leads to a glut of so-so lyrics, when a studio comes up with a catchy score.

  87. 87.

    Liquid

    @gene108:

    For some reason Adele -> Skyfall is really hitting me. Forget the movie and yada yada but for some reason I’m really liking it. Backup vocals or no.

    Probably — We will stand tall, face it all, together.

  88. 88.

    PurpleGirl

    @gene108: I think it’s tied to the folk revival in the 1960s, or grew out of it. By the 1970s it was important that performers also wrote their own material. Something to do with authenticity or sincerity or something along those lines. Note: Carol King began as a songwriter and then began performing.

  91. 91.

    ulee

    Hey Gene, Thank you for your thoughts and your consideration. New Years Eve is not a special holiday for me, if fact I don’t give a damn. It’s just that rope that was waiting for me on that night. I’ve got plenty of clozazepam that I take sparingly and lots of other meds that would probably kill me if I took enough of them with whiskey, but hanging has always been my suicide of choice since I was a teenager. This last week is when I tried it out and I got caught hanging with my eggcrate kicked away. Very scary. The rope broke and I tried to tie it again but it wasn’t going to work. Thank you for your comments. You have been helpful and I don’t think I’ll do it again. It really hurt, but i’ll see what happens. But I won’t go to the hospital. I’d rather be at home, whatever happens.

  92. 92.

    gene108

    @PurpleGirl:

    Note: Carol King began as a songwriter and then began performing.

    Carol King is a good song writer. Not every singer was meant to write songs.

    Something to do with authenticity or sincerity or something along those lines.

    Yeah, I guess this makes sense. It doesn’t mean you get the best music possible.

  94. 94.

    Liquid

    @PurpleGirl:

    I remember, about ten years ago, watching The Simpsons with an old girlfriend.

    One episode was (IIRC) Selma’s Choice or something. When the credits came up and Carole King (A Natural Woman) started playing she hugged me, I gave her a kiss, and we carried on with the next episode.

    One of those little moments that will always be with me.

    ETA: @Gene108 — Damn you! you beat me to it…that’s kinda spooky.

  95. 95.

    gene108

    @ulee:

    If your comfortable with your general practitioner talk to her. There some very good out patient / support group programs run out of local hospitals, which she might be able to recommend.

    EDIT: Please get some form of treatment. No one recovers from a serious medical condition alone, whether it’s depression, a heart attack or something else that’s severe.

  96. 96.

    gene108

    I’m so happy, I’m not the only insomniac up right now.

    I really shudder as to what insomniacs had to go through 30 years ago, when T.V. stations turned off at 2 am and no internet or other means of occupying yourself in the wee hours of the morning.

  97. 97.

    Liquid

    @gene108:

    Yeah tell me about it. I had a solid Borderlands 2 game going and now this thread has grabbed my attention.

    They’re all wondering what the hell I’m doing taking cover and using my steam web browser.

  106. 106.

    gene108

    @The prophet Nostradumbass:

    There are these things called books, perhaps you have heard of them?

    Books require a level of concentration, I don’t feel like exerting at 2:30 am right now.

    Vegging out to the T.V. is preferable ATM.

    I mean what to do, if you didn’t want to concentrate on a book or watch static? I guess you could’ve cranked up the stereo / listened to the radio, while curled up in bed.

    I’m just saying the options for insomniacs to occupy ourselves right now is so superior to any time previously in history, it’s just amazing.

  108. 108.

    Joel

    @Alison: The New Best Recipes from Cook’s Illustrated.

    Yeah, it’s pretty general, but their meat section is fantastic.

  110. 110.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    @gene108: At one time, when I was much younger, I used to tune in things like the BBC World Service, or Radio Australia, or whatever, on the shortwave radio. I still have a shortwave radio sitting under my desk, but I haven’t turned it on in ages.

  111. 111.

    Liquid

    @gene108:

    Are you serious? The quickest way I’ll fall asleep (other than the obvious one) is reading in bed.

    As long as it’s not something heavy, like “The Civil War” by Shelby Foote, I’ll be alright.

  113. 113.

    Liquid

    @The prophet Nostradumbass:

    Ya know I never bought an iPad or a Kindle.

    I’m well aware of the advantages but there’s something about the feel of a book I just can’t quit.

    That and a huge collection looks a hell of a lot more impressive, to me, than having it all on one (easily damaged considering it’s me) device.

  114. 114.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    @Liquid: I mostly use the iPad for reading stuff where I don’t care about having a copy of the book long-term, i.e. the stuff I read when I go to bed :-). I do still buy physical books as well.

    ETA: I worked in a bookstore for almost five years, dealing with both books and periodicals, and I probably will never get it out of me.

  116. 116.

    Liquid

    You see, this is what I meant near the start of this thread.

    This is exactly why the West Coast doesn’t care if there’s a coup attempt on our Patron and his feline adjutant/turncoat!

    Also a solid reason why you should recruit us for such an op.

    The rest of you lot will be asleep or busy elsewhere while our slimy tentacles creep into every orifice of — you know what nevermind.

  119. 119.

    Liquid

    @AA+ Bonds:

    Well, it’s a damn good thing I watched Gettysburg/Glory/etc. You have my .57 caliber Enfield rifle musket. Best in the world here, boy.

    Now all we need to do is release Chuky Manson, promote him to Lieutenant General, and let the RACE WAR BEGIN! RACE WAR EVERYBODY!!1

  121. 121.

    Liquid

    How can I be getting zis vork done mit all ze shouting?!

    Oh and damn the comment editor — Chuck Manson…Chuck Todd…Could it be?!!1

    ETA: Once again, hoisted on my own petard.

  122. 122.

    dance around in your bones

    This is a very weird thread.

    ulee, burn the rope and ask for help, please.

    Dorothy Parker:

    Razors pain you;
    Rivers are damp;
    Acids stain you;
    And drugs cause cramp.
    Guns aren’t lawful;
    Nooses give;
    Gas smells awful;
    You might as well live.

    Hell, I thought it was shitty when the power went out (TWO TIMES!) during Downton Abbey. That never happens here, so it was weird. My big problem tonight.

  123. 123.

    Liquid

    @dance around in your bones:

    It is, indeed, a weird thread. You might ask yourself why that is.

    Well I will clarify that us West Coasters are (to steal a line) high as giraffe pussy.

    The East Coasters are drunk with power/ego/booze (probably booze) so it’s a perfect blend!

  124. 124.

    Liquid

    Wait, this website is administered by a vicious, vengeful, and…uh voluminous feline and I’m in moderation for p****?

    Break out the stake and kindling. I’ll bring the kerosene.

  125. 125.

    Liquid

    Somebody talk to me. I’m sheparding three lowbies through Borderlands 2 and I have nothing better to do than threaten to burn someone/something at the stake.

  127. 127.

    Liquid

    @AA+ Bonds:

    Not you Bonds! You have a date with a stake for your egregious comments about Strange Days and…sorry.

    Sometimes I get a bit carried away.

  128. 128.

    Liquid

    @AA+ Bonds:

    You got lucky. I have to find my pants and hump it across the street to QFC.

    Just remember, I’m only here to help the faithful find peace in the char-broiled kiss of the Firehawk. If you had any idea who that is (I’ll wager that’s a ‘NO’), in the proper context, you wouldn’t resist her fiery embrace.

    It’s not like my flock will go astray without my leadership. They’re too busy looking for green arrows.

  129. 129.

    RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist

    I’m up. Off to the airport. Through Philly to Hartford, CT, then Durham for 2 days and a hotel in Meriden. Or that’s the theory, anyway. After that I’ll get bounced around some more until I get to come home next weekend.
    Anyway, don’t burn the place down while I’m gone.

  130. 130.

    Liquid

    @RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist — You’re tempting fate my friend…

    Alrighty then. Last Word goes to me.

    Anyone that posts after this one will be added to the Burn List.

    Thank you and good night.

  132. 132.

    debbie

    I thought Shirley McLaine’s character was a Brit’s view of what an American was at that time. I remember there were a couple of American’s in Waugh’s Brideshead Revisited that fit that same stereotype.

  133. 133.

    Betty Cracker

    @ulee: Hi Ulee. I just want to second what Gene said about reaching out for help to get through this. I’m glad you told us, but I hope you’ll tell someone in the 3D world, perhaps your GP. There’s no shame in it. It’s a medical problem. Wishing you peace and strength.

  134. 134.

    jake the snake

    Downton Abbey brings out my inner Bolshevik.
    I am not sure that the servants aren’t worse than
    the aristocrats. Their machinations remind me of
    the intrigues of the court of Louis XIV.

  135. 135.

    MaryRC

    @gene108: The trick about reading to fall asleep is to keep something on hand that you’ve read before, that’s pleasant and soothing or even dull, and doesn’t make you want to keep turning the pages to find out how it ends. For years I could put myself to sleep with a few pages of David Pryce-Jones’s biography of Unity Mitford, Hitler’s British groupie. You’d think there would be a lot of drama in the life of one of the Mitford sisters and her infatuation with Hitler but actually Unity was pretty dim-witted and when she wasn’t hanging around Berlin stalking Hitler, she was drifting around Germany and Austria mooching off other dim-witted aristocrats or coming back to London to hang around her brother-in-law Sir Oswald Moseley and annoy her parents. So most of the book consists of her aimlessly travelling around Europe between 1933 and 1939, going to Berlin, coming back to London, going back to Berlin and … zzzzzz.

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