Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

He really is that stupid.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

Fani Willis claps back at Trump chihuahua, Jim Jordan.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

An unpunished coup is a training exercise.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

White supremacy is terrorism.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

In short, I come down firmly on all sides of the issue.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

“woke” is the new caravan.

You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Readership Capture / NFL Playoffs–Atlanta and who the hell cares?

Reader Interactions

253Comments

  6. 6.

    Mark S.

    I just can’t get behind Atlanta and their coach who looks like Steve Martin. But they’re kicking some ass.

  10. 10.

    c u n d gulag

    The Giants didn’t make it, the Dolphins weren’t even close, so I don’t give a sh*t.

    I would like to see the Seahawks beat Atlanta, since I can’t stand the South, even though I don’t like Pete Carrol.

    How many more days before pitchers and catchers?
    I should check my favorite teams website, the NY Yankees, since I’m sure the seniors there know fer sure when the they report, so they know when to get in line for “The Early-bird Specials.”

    It’ll be interesting to see what the Yankees do, with one half of “The Sunshine Boys” just coming back from his ankle injury, and the other one getting ready for hip surgery.

    Are walkers allowed on the Baseball field?

  11. 11.

    Raven

    @c u n d gulag: Yea and Miami is in the fucking north isn’t it genius? And baseball sucks.

    eta if you look at the crowd you’ll see more African-American folks and any other NFL stadiums by far.

  16. 16.

    Joel

    Atlanta is the most boring team, ever.

    But if the Patriots make the Superbowl, I’d sure love to see them line up against them.

  24. 24.

    Yutsano

    @Raven: I honestly wasn’t too crazy about the Carroll hire either becuz I’ve loathed U$C forever and a day. But he’s actually put together a semi-decent organisation that has had some success. I think we’ll be holding on to him for a couple years yet.

  27. 27.

    Corner Stone

    Not to pull a Cole and go all Captain Obvious but…the Seahawks really need 7 right here.

  36. 36.

    c u n d gulag

    @Raven:
    Raven,
    I can’t help it with the Dolphins.
    Back when the Giants sucked in the late 60’s, I fell in love with another really horrible team – one whose Head Coach had his son as his QB.
    And then, they became GREAT for a few years!
    FSM, how I wish Marino had won at least ONE SB!!!

    Having said all of that, there’s NO WAY Miami is as “Southern” a city as Atlanta!

    That’s my story – and I’m stickin’ to it! :-)

  37. 37.

    BruceFromOhio

    @jayboat: Either they are playing 11-dimension chess trying to confuse the Falcons D, or they are imploding.

    Let’s see if the half-time break mixes up some magic, that’s what it will take to save these hapless sea birds.

  43. 43.

    billgerat

    So far the Seahawks have been the Seasucks. Both sides of the line need to snap the fark out of it.

  45. 45.

    c u n d gulag

    @Yutsano:
    And, THAT, is cool!

    But, wtf do I know?
    I lived in the East Village of NYC, where EVERY night is Holloween!

    And the nearby West Village, is the King/Queen/Prince/Princess of PINK!
    Ok, I’ll admit – maybe SF can give the West Village a run for it…

  48. 48.

    c u n d gulag

    @JPL:
    I went to Atlanta on business a few times in the 00’s, and found that, in a many areas, it was a pretty cool city for a variety of people.
    I hated the traffic, but I found some really cool people there.

    So, sorry if I offended anyone.
    I wasn’t there often enough, or long enough, to really be able to give a knowledgeable opinion.
    My bad…

  55. 55.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    Darrell Bevell welcome to the game I am so glad you could join us with your play calling.

  56. 56.

    Raven

    @c u n d gulag: Nah, it’s all bullshit. I lived over there for a couple of years when I was at Tech and never got much of a feel for it. Athens isn’t part of Atlanta, Georgia or the south for that matter.

  57. 57.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Joel: the announcers all keep saying that Russell Wilson has “a lot of confidence.” I always feel like that’s a sports-media way of saying “is an asshole.”

  61. 61.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @FlipYrWhig:

    Tony Gonzalez has the skin of a much younger man.

    a few of them actually. he’s spends all his spare time trying to create the perfect body suit

  66. 66.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    Well at least the the loudmouth 49er fans will get their comeuppance at the Georgia Dome next week. Lot of people owe the Falcons some apologies and some crow to eat. Pass the chipolte sauce.

  67. 67.

    Corner Stone

    Somebody call Sea-Tac and ask if the plane carrying the Seahawks defense is ready to takeoff for ATL.

  68. 68.

    Raven

    @Mr Stagger Lee: The Falcons had run into the hottest teams three years in a row and Seattle seemed to be the same. Never mind that Atlanta has handled the Hawks pretty handily recently.

  75. 75.

    Corner Stone

    @PsiFighter37: Drew Brees is about 6’1. Russell Wilson goes to bed every night praying the FSM will stretch him two inches so he can be a legit 5’11.
    Big, big difference.

  76. 76.

    PsiFighter37

    Okay, well maybe it’s still a game. That was a dumb throw by Matt Ryan. Seahawks can make it a game yet if they get down the field quickly again.

  81. 81.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @PsiFighter37:

    I think the whole height thing about QBs is bunk. Drew Brees ain’t exactly a tall guy, either. Neither was Flutie.

    completely with you up until this game. but now it’s clearly an issue. unless they can figure out a way to win.

  90. 90.

    BruceFromOhio

    Hopefully the plane from Seattle landed with the defensive squad – if ever there was time to show up, ’tis now.

    ETA: Looks like somebody got the memo. Would be fun if this turned into an upset, no tie game today.

  91. 91.

    Heliopause

    Difference in the game is someone who isn’t even playing, Chris Clemons. With him they have a somewhat consistent pass rush threat, without him they have absolutely nobody who even knows what pass rushing is except Irvin, and he is woefully inconsistent. Note also how poor Irvin is at holding the edge on runs.

    As I type this the Seahawks get a turnover and a quick score.

  92. 92.

    c u n d gulag

    HOLY SH*T! ! !

    The Seahawks, in “The Battle of the Birds,” are within a TD!

    I have not led a good enough life for a team from the West Coast, a Liberal enclave, in a state with a lot of White Supremacist groups, to beat Atlanta!

    Oh, FSM, is it possible for them to beat the Atlanta Crackers, AND have Barney Frank in the Senate for a few months?

  96. 96.

    Corner Stone

    @Heliopause:

    Difference in the game is someone who isn’t even playing, Chris Clemons.

    Thank the Redskins owner for that. Their field is an absolute disgrace and most likely caused CC’s injury.

  97. 97.

    The Dangerman

    Bigger chokejob; Denver or Atlanta? I didn’t think I’d see such butt puckering two days in a row.

  109. 109.

    Corner Stone

    You see how he Randle Cunningham’s backward in a semi-circle? That’s so he can actually see a throwing lane over his linemen.

  115. 115.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    after the cats and horses got dumped out of the playoffs, we’re left with american icons versus birds. this means something, i’d bet.

  116. 116.

    The Dangerman

    @Corner Stone:

    That safety for DEN should have been cut before he left the locker room yesterday.

    Biggest brain cramp in a big game I can recall; I can’t imagine the amount of Pepto Bismol sold in Denver last night.

  128. 128.

    PsiFighter37

    Damn, now THIS is a game. Imagine if Seattle hadn’t pissed away 6 gimme points in the first half.

  132. 132.

    PsiFighter37

    After this, one may have to ask if Matt Ryan can buy himself a playoff win. Goddamn…2 yards away from a 20-point comeback in the 4th quarter.

  141. 141.

    PsiFighter37

    That is a freaky fumble there, but I think that it’s a touchdown for Seattle, no matter what?

  145. 145.

    The Dangerman

    @PsiFighter37:

    That is a freaky fumble there, but I think that it’s a touchdown for Seattle, no matter what?

    I think the Dave Casper rule applies.

    ETA: Or what Raven said.

  147. 147.

    Nerull

    That is a close call. Lynch may have gotten it in, but he needs to work on protecting the ball.

    Apparently if it is a forward fumble recovered by another player they cannot score with it.

  148. 148.

    PsiFighter37

    Gotta feel bad for the Falcons fans. There’s going to be a spike of alcohol intake after this one.

  155. 155.

    Joel

    This is karmic payback for perfect Gary Anderson shanking his first FG of the season in the NFC championship game.

  160. 160.

    freelancer

    Earlier stat said only the Bills came back from as big a deficit in the post season. In ’93. I remember that game and I was 11 at the time.

  164. 164.

    PsiFighter37

    Well, that’s a good start on one pass. Seattle’s secondary has got to play a little tighter than that.

  168. 168.

    PsiFighter37

    I feel like they called timeout a bit too quickly…shouldn’t they have let the clock bleed out to 3 seconds to kick?

  186. 186.

    freelancer

    Carroll called the timeout. They showed it in replay. He walked over to the side judge and said something audibly and then the judge signaled timeout.

  196. 196.

    PsiFighter37

    Well, Atlanta hangs on. The ATL coach looks like he’s about to burst into tears…really?

    That said, I would have to take Kaepernick & Co. to put the hurt on next weekend.

  201. 201.

    The Dangerman

    Nice timeout, Pete.

    Nice onsides kick, Atlanta. Damn, if Seattle had kicked a field goal after an onsides, Atlanta woulda burned like Sherman.

  204. 204.

    Corner Stone

    I’ll never forgive Pete Carroll for forcing me to root for ATL next week against The Harbaughs.

  208. 208.

    Raven

    Bryant knew the timeout was called before he kicked the ball and he pulled up. It’s bullshit to try to say that the schmuck coach lost it on that.

  209. 209.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Corner Stone:

    I’ll never forgive Pete Carroll for forcing me to root for ATL next week against The Harbaughs.

    you may wanna think about leaving the country for the harbowl

  210. 210.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @billgerat: Pete Carroll wears the goat horns. I can’t wait to hear the excuse. Any one but the Ravens is my picks(I am a disgruntled Browns Fan for the record)

  212. 212.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    i think not scoring for the first two quarters might have just as much to do with the seattle loss but honestly, i don’t know all the intricacies of football.

  214. 214.

    Corner Stone

    I’m wondering why SEA Team Six Defense ziplined in for two quarters and then ex-filtrated the stadium with 30 seconds left.

  215. 215.

    billgerat

    Trying to ice the kicker has always been a stupid ploy in my opinion. It doesn’t work.

    Yes, anyone but the Ravens. Much as I hate to say it, I hope the 49ers kick some Falcon ass.

  219. 219.

    Short Bus Bully

    So sad for my Hawks, but so proud of RW1. Matt Ryan as the player of the game?

    DAFUQ? Did those shitheads even watch the game??

    The ascendancy of Russell Wilson continues unabated…

  221. 221.

    billgerat

    @Raven:

    Yes, but it wasn’t the can of whoop ass you predicted. I hope Seattle can bolster their D in the off season. Another pass rusher would be nice, and someone who can stop a no-name from running. Lynch got out-Lynched by Atlanta.

  223. 223.

    patrick II

    Kickers everywhere should thank opposing Coaches who give the Kicker a chance to take an on playing field Practice kick•

  224. 224.

    JWL

    “Who Cares”?

    I care. Both teams earned their way into playing this game. It’s an NFL playoff game, for crying out loud.

    Memo from my own “be careful what you wish for department”: as a Niner fan, I’m glad Seattle lost. Any time teams square off twice a season (and the Seagulls kicked the Niners collective ass last month) W-L records are far less a factor going into any game- much less in an NFC championship duel.

    Go Niners!

  225. 225.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @Bob In Portland: I am a Browns transplant living in Tacoma so I am following the Seahawks, it is nice to get that playoff passion since I haven’t had that loving feeling in ages, and it may be more. But no but HELL NO do I want the Ravens get another trophy, even if it means the Steelers get 10 more. My hate is eternal :-)

  227. 227.

    Short Bus Bully

    Can I just mention how much I fucking HATE prevent defenses? Holy shit. Two passes, eleventy billion yards and a field goal in <.0000002 seconds.

    Bullshit.

    Play some real D, it got you that far.

  228. 228.

    Nerull

    @Raven: That every team does it makes it no less moronic. A few more seconds on the clock is far more valuable than giving the opposing kicker an extra warmup kick.

  231. 231.

    Eric

    It was a fitting end since the Hawks over rated D gave up last minute drives all year and cost them 3 wins (AZ, DET and Miami)

    It is actually a testament to how good their LBs and DBs are that they can be so good overall with such a lousy line.

    Funny watching Smith and Carroll both making bonehead play calls, just she’s that ultimately only one coach an blow it.

    And whatever idiots above we’re calling Wilson over rated, uh where are you now?

  232. 232.

    Short Bus Bully

    @Eric:
    Sadly, you’re right. Our D line stinks. Our pass rush is non-existent. Our blitz packages are about as predictable as my three year old’s response to bed time.

    Russell Wilson unlocked HEROIC status today.

  233. 233.

    Nerull

    The Texans are going to have a hard time winning this game if their defense can’t be bothered to line up before the snap.

  235. 235.

    Nerull

    @Raven: Like being terrified of the prospect of ever going for it on 4th down, coaches do many things because they’re expected to, and don’t want to face criticism rather than because it wins games. The stats don’t back up it being a good idea.

    In an analysis over seasons 2001-2009, researchers determined that iced kickers accuracy improves on the second attempt. It’s stupid and pointless. The only reason they do it so the papers the next day don’t scream WHY DIDN’T HE ICE THE KICKER OMG

  236. 236.

    kindness

    @Lancelot Link: Not really. The Ravens kicked our ass the last time we played. I suspect the Niners would do the job though, if only to soothe Mr. Stagger Lee’s soul.

  239. 239.

    Raven

    @Nerull: It’s not all as cut and dried as that:

    A study was also undertaken by Scott Berry, a statistician and the former chairman of the Statistics in Sports section of the American Statistical Association, and Craig Wood, a biostatistician and the Henry Hood Center for Health Research Pillar Award winner, which was published in 2004 in the journal Chance.[2] Berry and Wood looked at every field-goal attempt made in the 2002 and 2003 NFL seasons, including playoffs, and concluded that, for “pressure kicks” – those made with 3 minutes or less remaining in the game or overtime period which would tie the game or put the kicking team in the lead – in the 40-55 yard range, icing the kicker caused the percentage of successful attempts to drop by about ten percent for an average kicker on a sunny day. On shorter kicks, the effect was found to be negligible.[1][3][4] However, the statistical significance of the difference found – which amounted to four kicks out of 39 attempts – has been questioned,[5] and an examination by Nick Stamms of STATS, Inc. found that “pressure kicks” (defined as above except within two minutes, not three) in the NFL regular season from 1991 to 2005 showed an insignificant difference between non-iced kicks (457 out of 637, or 71.7%) and iced kicks (152 out of 211 or 72%).[6]

  240. 240.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @JWL: When he lost his wife the year or so before, I felt compassion, to lose one’s life partner, I did lose that animosity, I guess it was a case of hating the sin not the sinner, at the time of his death. That aside I hate the Ravens at least until the Browns win the Super Bowl. I am like a Brooklyn Dodgers fan when the LA Dodgers were good, until the Mets won. (if the Dodger fans learned to love the Mets)

  241. 241.

    Schlemizel

    @Raven:

    I wonder if the D made noises about icing the kicker & the coach stood right next to the side judge as if he were going to call time out what are the odds the kicker expects to be called & doesn’t hit the kick well. Seems about as useful as calling the TO

  244. 244.

    JWL

    @Mr Stagger Lee: Hey, Stagger, I should have added one of those stupid little smiley faces to that question. It was just me going for a laugh.

    After all, it is just a dumb game (albeit one I love).

    I’m with Bill Simmons (of ESPN) on this one. You’re stuck rooting for the team of your inheritance, unless that team bails on the city.

    That said, if I had been a Browns fan when Modell split town with the team, I would have reacted in cold blooded fashion to his passing. I wouldn’t have thought, “good”, either. But I would have felt… indifferent.

  245. 245.

    Joel

    Hey, new thread?

    For what it’s worth, Wade Phillips might need a crib sheet to remind him of quarterbacks who you do not blitz:

    I’ll help him out:

    1) Peyton Manning
    2) Tom Brady

  248. 248.

    Oltrol

    I just showed up to say:

    FUCK THE PATRIOTS! I FUCKING HATE THEM, OOOOHHHH! FUCK THEM!
    Sam Kinison style!

  249. 249.

    Nerull

    Bill Belichick looked like he really didn’t want to be there. I’ve never seen a coach with the lead look so pissed off the entire game. Even after the end.

  251. 251.

    2liberal

    why isn’t there a Patriots NFL thread? For all commentators – as a Patriots fan I thank you for your support.

  253. 253.

    2liberal

    @JWL:
    there is a guy at work a couple desks away – a huge Denver fan. I wonder if he will come in tomorrow.

    I would rather have the Patriots face the Ravens at home than Denver away.

    The Pats D seems to be coming along —

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