Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

“Just close your eyes and kiss the girl and go where the tilt-a-whirl takes you.” ~OzarkHillbilly

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Nothing says ‘pro-life’ like letting children go hungry.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

This really is a full service blog.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

It’s pointless to bring up problems that can only be solved with a time machine.

You are either for trump or for democracy. Pick one.

GOP baffled that ‘we don’t care if you die’ is not a winning slogan.

Well, whatever it is, it’s better than being a Republican.

You are here: Home / Humorous / The Jokes, They Write Themselves

The Jokes, They Write Themselves

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In my hotel in the middle of nowhere, thrilled to know there was website drama while driving across country. At any rate, at least everything is fixed now. Stumbled across this story and got a good chuckle:

A former Catholic priest at Bridgeport’s St. Augustine Cathedral who was recently busted in a nationwide crystal meth ring also liked cross dressing, “bizarre sex toys” and having sex in his rectory with “odd-looking men,” a report said on Thursday.

I can’t be the only one who read that, saw “having sex in his rectory,” and started giggling like a little boy.

Reader Interactions

44Comments

  5. 5.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn

    Glad you could have a nice giggle.

    You *are* aware that we were all running around with our hair on fire, afraid our trolls would abandon us and this place would become a Russian porn site, right?

    Oh, the humanity. Pay yer bills, deadbeat.
    =oP

  7. 7.

    scav

    @BC: Well, if only they’d been non-odd looking men with standard-issue sex toys in the rectory, everyone would understand. Bats in the belfry, men in the rectory. .

  13. 13.

    BGinCHI

    Where does a priest get the scratch to have a meth habit?

    And do you think they called him “Mother Superior” on account of the length of his habit?

  14. 14.

    BGinCHI

    Also, per the post title, the jokes do not write themselves.

    That’s what the hard-working commentariat is for.

  15. 15.

    Mnemosyne

    Hey, given that he seems to have been playing his sex games with consenting adults, this seems to be a step up for the Catholic Church. They should make him a monsignor.

  18. 18.

    Ash Can

    @Mnemosyne: Funny you should mention that. From the link:

    According to a Wednesday statement from the U.S. Attorney’s Office, Monsignor Kevin Wallin and four other men were indicted in an alleged drug operation…

    (Yes, really.) :D

  19. 19.

    Quaker in a Basement

    Sex with odd-looking men?

    Hold on a sec. I need to check and see if I have been violated.

  22. 22.

    Calouste

    @BGinCHI:

    Where does a priest get the scratch to have a meth habit?

    The church might want to compare the average takings on the collection plate before and after the start of the meth habit.

  30. 30.

    TenguPhule

    having sex in his rectory with “odd-looking men,”

    The Catholic Church is trying to ween off having sex with children by having sex with midgets instead?

    So a more disgusting version of Nicorette Gum. Progress!

  31. 31.

    notgonnahappen

    Life experience has taught me that the more prudish and extreme people are in public the more they are suppressing something in their private lives they don’t want people to see. Like priests and little boys, and people who try cure gay people then get caught on vacation with someone from from rentboy.com.

    I fully expect one day I will be reading about an S&M dungeon in Michelle Bachmans basement where she lures unsuspecting gays for her husband to fulfill his sexual fantasies while she sits on a sybian.

  32. 32.

    stickler

    Wait, the priest was selling meth, too? Hoo boy, when _Breaking Bad_ stops filming, the same team can just gin up a sequel, featuring Walter White’s priestly cousin.

    _Breaking Habits?_
    _Mass Effects?_

    Man, I’d put that series in my Netflix queue.

  34. 34.

    LABiker

    Bob Eubanks: First question, “Father, where would your partners say is your favorite place for making whoopie?”
    Priest: “In the rectory?”

  35. 35.

    bcinaz

    Well at least he wasn’t telling young women not to take The Pill and to ‘wait’ til they’re married.

    Also too

    Odd-looking men? – LOL

  36. 36.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    sex in the rectory can be uncomfortable at first but you just have to use a whole lot of absolution.

  44. 44.

    OzarkHillbilly

    saw “having sex in his rectory,” and started giggling like a little boy.

    Just for the record, as an ex-Catholic little boy (no longer little, no longer Catholic) I feel the need to point out that Catholic little boys have not and will never giggle at the phrase, “having sex in his rectory.” It is a little too real.

    Just sayin’…

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