In my hotel in the middle of nowhere, thrilled to know there was website drama while driving across country. At any rate, at least everything is fixed now. Stumbled across this story and got a good chuckle:
A former Catholic priest at Bridgeport’s St. Augustine Cathedral who was recently busted in a nationwide crystal meth ring also liked cross dressing, “bizarre sex toys” and having sex in his rectory with “odd-looking men,” a report said on Thursday.
I can’t be the only one who read that, saw “having sex in his rectory,” and started giggling like a little boy.
Giggling here too.
That phrase wasn’t an accident…
I want pics of the “odd looking men”!
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
Glad you could have a nice giggle.
You *are* aware that we were all running around with our hair on fire, afraid our trolls would abandon us and this place would become a Russian porn site, right?
Oh, the humanity. Pay yer bills, deadbeat.
I wonder where the catholic church will relocate him to.
@BC: Well, if only they’d been non-odd looking men with standard-issue sex toys in the rectory, everyone would understand. Bats in the belfry, men in the rectory. .
I didn’t email about the site.
That line is wonderful. Chortle.
And I place the blame right where it belongs: on the Summer of Love.
A violated rectory?
Huhehhuhuhuhuheh, he said “rectory”.
Where does a priest get the scratch to have a meth habit?
And do you think they called him “Mother Superior” on account of the length of his habit?
Also, per the post title, the jokes do not write themselves.
That’s what the hard-working commentariat is for.
Hey, given that he seems to have been playing his sex games with consenting adults, this seems to be a step up for the Catholic Church. They should make him a monsignor.
Also, isn’t saying “odd-looking men” in Bridgeport the same as saying “men”?
Ted & Hellen
Rectories are bestories.
@Mnemosyne: Funny you should mention that. From the link:
(Yes, really.) :D
Quaker in a Basement
Sex with odd-looking men?
Hold on a sec. I need to check and see if I have been violated.
Odd looking men in the Rectory with Bizarre Sex Toys. Best game of Clue ever.
It’s like I’m psychic! Or just a fallen-away Catholic.
The church might want to compare the average takings on the collection plate before and after the start of the meth habit.
@Calouste: the article said he was making a lot of money selling meth.
@Calouste: On the other hand the priests had a lot more energy.
Odd-looking men, indeed. Inquiring minds want to know…
What… like the back of a Volkswagen?
Not wise to bring a car to California
Oh noes! Cranked up priests!
Father forgive me for I have sinned…snnnnorrrttttt…..
“Rectory? Damn near killory!”
Nah. Doesn’t work as well as the original.
The Catholic Church is trying to ween off having sex with children by having sex with midgets instead?
So a more disgusting version of Nicorette Gum. Progress!
Life experience has taught me that the more prudish and extreme people are in public the more they are suppressing something in their private lives they don’t want people to see. Like priests and little boys, and people who try cure gay people then get caught on vacation with someone from from rentboy.com.
I fully expect one day I will be reading about an S&M dungeon in Michelle Bachmans basement where she lures unsuspecting gays for her husband to fulfill his sexual fantasies while she sits on a sybian.
Wait, the priest was selling meth, too? Hoo boy, when _Breaking Bad_ stops filming, the same team can just gin up a sequel, featuring Walter White’s priestly cousin.
Man, I’d put that series in my Netflix queue.
Ah, Bridgeport. I miss you sometimes.
Bob Eubanks: First question, “Father, where would your partners say is your favorite place for making whoopie?”
Priest: “In the rectory?”
Well at least he wasn’t telling young women not to take The Pill and to ‘wait’ til they’re married.
Odd-looking men? – LOL
Just Some Fuckhead
sex in the rectory can be uncomfortable at first but you just have to use a whole lot of absolution.
Just Some Fuckhead
is this thing on?
Nope, I laughed at it, too. I got another laugh at “with odd-looking men”… huh??
@Comrade Mary: Good one!
Without a doubt a bishop’s mitre was involved.
@Just Some Fuckhead:
I got here late for the second show. That was funny.
Richard W. Crews
you’re not in the middlke of nowhere – you’re approaching the middle od America (pop density center in Missouri, I believe)
Just for the record, as an ex-Catholic little boy (no longer little, no longer Catholic) I feel the need to point out that Catholic little boys have not and will never giggle at the phrase, “having sex in his rectory.” It is a little too real.