Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Every reporter and pundit should have to declare if they ever vacationed with a billionaire.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Rupert, come get your orange boy, you petrified old dinosaur turd.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

I’m starting to think Jesus may have made a mistake saving people with no questions asked.

Everybody saw this coming.

If you can’t control your emotions, someone else will.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

With all due respect and assumptions of good faith, please fuck off into the sun.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

You passed on an opportunity to be offended? What are you even doing here?

The real work of an opposition party is to hold the people in power accountable.

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

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134Comments

  2. 2.

    lamh35

    Gotta luv south Louisiana weather. Is a warm 65 degrees right now in the middle of January!!! People are wearing shorts!!! Sitting in. My car waiting for my granny’s husband to get his hair cut. Watching the country kids actually riding their bikes instead of being inside playing video games.

    Whenever I buy a home it’s def gonna be in da country.

  4. 4.

    debit

    I’m sorry, that does not look yum. I just made some pumpkin soup and ate it with a mini loaf of corn bread. THAT was yum.

  7. 7.

    burnspbesq

    Don’t know if this has been mentioned in an earlier thread, but former Baltimore Orioles manager Earl Weaver passed away today.

    He was a brilliant baseball mind and a highly entertaining nutcase.

    R.I.P., Earl.

  8. 8.

    22over7

    I clicked to embiggen because I was confused, and was able to make out the text. The giveaway is the spelling of “favourite.”

    It’s British food. No wonder it looks awful.

  10. 10.

    dr. bloor

    Look at the sodium content on the package. That’s as close as you’re going to see on the shelves to the bowl of salted dicks Tbogg keeps telling Buckley to eat.

  12. 12.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @dr. bloor: Used to watch Earl in action at Memorial Stadium. Friends of mine went to a game with some Scandinavian exchange students, and when Weaver started a rant at the ump, the exchange students said something like “This is so childish, they should get back to the game.” My friends’ reply was “Are you kidding? This is the best part of watching the Orioles!”

  13. 13.

    FlipYrWhig

    Hey, those sausages didn’t have a choice in what moisture-slicked intestinal casing they happened to be slopped into.

  15. 15.

    Gex

    Hi guys,

    Not much change since my last update. It’s fitting, I suppose. Kate didn’t survive the step dad without being tough as nails. Given all the infections, the cancer, and the respiratory difficulties it is simply her incredibly strong heart that refuses to quit.

    C’mon, Katie. Let yourself be at peace finally.

  17. 17.

    Violet

    @cathyx: In the UK “casserole” refers to something more like a stew. I think that package is from the UK, or maybe Canada or Australia, since they spell “favorites” as “favourites” with the U.

  18. 18.

    dr. bloor

    @Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason: Although far more understated and more suited for teevee, Weaver going out to the mound for a conference with Palmer could be pretty entertaining as well.

    Also, too, watching Earl watch Stanhouse try to work through an inning.

  19. 19.

    22over7

    @muddy:

    It could well be Canadian, but I’m going with dr. bloor and saying it’s really salted dick stew. With all the trimmins.

  21. 21.

    sb

    @burnspbesq: Weaver was in the Dick Williams family of managers (or is that the other way around) in that he could get grumpy with his players but he could find a way to work with anybody. Jim Palmer never could have played for Dick Williams (hell, Jim Palmer would ahve most managers putting out a contract on his prima donna life) but Weaver got the best out of him. I would add that Weaver made the most out of every player on his roster.

    A wonderful manager. RIP.

  22. 22.

    The Dangerman

    Wondering about Nike’s Marketing Department after the new ad where Tiger puts one of his balls in Rory’s water glass…

    …or, perhaps, Balloon-Juice has corrupted my brain.

    ETA: Just looked closer at the picture; good grief.

  26. 26.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @dr. bloor: to the bowl of salted dicks Tbogg keeps telling Buckley to eat.

    ? Christopher? Or the rotting corpse of Bill? Or the rotting corpse of Pat (who sounds like a nasty racist old drunk who could have scared Dick Cheney off a plate of prime rib)?

  27. 27.

    Violet

    @cathyx: I think they might be. I know that when I’ve stayed with English family or friends and someone says “we’re having a casserole for dinner” it is always more like a stew. I asked and was told that it was most definitely a casserole. I know I discussed that we called that same thing a stew, but it has been a few years now so I can’t remember what they said about whether or not they use the word “stew”.

  30. 30.

    polyorchnid octopunch

    @22over7: An edible food-like product.

    Gotta say, though, hearing a USian pointing at the UK for bad edible food-like products reminds me of the conversation between my dutch oven and my kettle.

    FWIW, it’s no better up here in the Great Melting North.

  31. 31.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Gex: Thank you for the update. People are concerned, and it is really decent of you to take the time, amid everything else, to let us all know what is going on. Good thoughts for you and for Kate.

  32. 32.

    sb

    Is there anybody in college basketball over 7-feet tall and able to play? How about 6-10?

    Different game than the one I watched when I was a youngun’.

  33. 33.

    Mornington Crescent

    I went to school in Baltimore. My first game at Memorial Stadium was in 1977. I can’t remember my favorite Earl Weaver moment, but maybe it was the time he went out to argue with an umpire with rulebook in hand, and then proceeded to tear it up and threw the remains in the air in front of the umpire.

    Here’s a famous video that I’m sure any Earl Weaver fan has seen countless times:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpS-XFXxJvE

  37. 37.

    FlipYrWhig

    @sb: I have a lot of trouble watching college sports because the quality of play seems so very, very low.

  39. 39.

    greenergood

    @Gex: Just what I posted a few days ago – keep talking to her. Your loving voice and loving touch will help soothe the pain of all the sh-t that’s happened before to her, help her remember all the happiness she’s had with you, and ready her for the next journey.

  40. 40.

    22over7

    @jeffreyw:

    Yum is right. Now I must have sausage and eggs for breakfast tomorrow, maybe with a bit of green chile sauce over the top for fun.

  46. 46.

    sb

    @FlipYrWhig: Not long ago–well within most of our lifetimes, a high school all-star team would have no chance at all against a college team, much less a team of college all-americans.

    Now? I think year in and year out, the high school team would win and pretty handily at that.

  51. 51.

    22over7

    @jeffreyw:

    Excellent indeed. Spouse is heading to Chicago tomorrow, and I was instructed to send along lots of green chile for family members who’ve been introduced to that crack and can’t get off.

  54. 54.

    MattR

    For some really good Earl Weaver stories from the umpire’s POV, find yourself a copy of The Umpire Strikes Back by Ron Luciano.

  55. 55.

    MikeJ

    @bjacques:

    Funniest failed assassination attempt ever, earlier today. Great comments too:

    I was told that the only thing that stopped a bad man with a gun was a good man with a gun. Looks like an octogenarian who doesn’t take any shit can stop them too.

  63. 63.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @Mike E: Chicago is seriously spanking LA King ass. So I never heard who won that lockout? Or was it a cased an agreement that probably was proposed months ago. F— Y– Gary Bettman!!

  64. 64.

    Gex

    @Violet: I am doing okay considering. It is impossible to comprehend the response that we are getting from our circles. I joked on Facebook that I needed a media relations officer. In truth, I did. The City Pages, the St.Paul Pioneer Press, and WCCO are doing something. There was a tribute show last night, there’s one tonight, and the big one is on Tuesday at MoA. NBD, just Maria Bamford flying into headline for Kate.

    Meanwhile, I’ve had a minimum of two people at my side at all times. And often there are five or six of us. We’ve been gathered around her, making sure she’s comfortable. There has been a lot of laughter.

    On occasion part of my psyche feels guilty about that, but only part, and I know I have nothing to feel guilty about. The hard part really hasn’t started, and that’s living in a world without her.

    If you guys want to get an idea of the love she put out in the world, just look at the love she is getting back now. There’s a Facebook page we’ve been using to keep people updated. Feel free to check it out: Kate and Barb

  65. 65.

    scav

    @22over7: Wait a minute, I’m in Chicago and just got a familial order to track down some hoja santa and epazote. go figure, the weirdness of economics, markets and families is epic.

  67. 67.

    Raven

    OK UK people. We just started watching Shameless. It’s fooking kiling me it’s so funny. Do they get to swear and screw like that on regular TV?

  69. 69.

    Gex

    @WereBear: true that. I discussed some of the issues we had, but in truth, they were things I know we were going to work out. We would have been together forever, I’m sure of it.

  72. 72.

    burnspbesq

    @sb:

    Is there anybody in college basketball over 7-feet tall and able to play? How about 6-10?

    Mason Plumlee
    Ryan Kelly
    Cody Zeller
    Jeff Withey
    Kelly Olynyk
    Alex Lem (sometimes)

  73. 73.

    ranchandsyrup

    Went to sea world with the family. If you get a day pass by the end of the month it works for the rest of the year (there are 7 days blacked out). Got some sun, had a couple of cold beers. Gonna grill some turkey burgers and make some panko dipped onion rings. Nice little Saturday like I’m Frank the Tank.

  74. 74.

    Roger Moore

    @dr. bloor:

    I loved the ABC obit–”He was ejected 91 times in his career, including once in both games of a doubleheader.”

    Which, sad to say, isn’t even close to the record. Bobby Cox managed to get ejected a record 158 times, 156 in the regular season and twice in the World Series (also a record).

  76. 76.

    PurpleGirl

    @Violet: TY. A friend who spent several years in England while growing up, loves the various Colman’s products (especially the mustard) and recipe mixes.

  77. 77.

    Violet

    @Gex: Oh, wow, that is just amazing! It sounds like you and she are surrounded by love and laughter. What an incredible tribute to you both. And how wonderful for you to have that support at this challenging time and for her to know she is so loved.

    Hang in there. We are thinking of you here. Thanks so much for the update.

  78. 78.

    Edo

    @Gex: Emily Post is silent about the protocol for situations like this, and I’m not sure I have anything to say that hasn’t been said before. But you have all my sympathies, more than I thought I had in me to offer.

    Thank you so much for the update.

  80. 80.

    RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist

    Speaking of weather, I just got a work call and I’m driving to Kokomo on Monday. Wherever that is. Google maps, here I come.

  83. 83.

    Roger Moore

    @polyorchnid octopunch:

    Gotta say, though, hearing a USian pointing at the UK for bad edible food-like products reminds me of the conversation between my dutch oven and my kettle.

    Yes, yes, the English do know how to cook.

    They just don’t know when to stop.

  84. 84.

    WaterGirl

    @jeffreyw: So cute! Ha ha ha that you said “for a spell”, like there’s any chance in hell that a pup that cute would come home with you for awhile and then you’d take the dog back.

  86. 86.

    trollhattan

    @Mornington Crescent:

    Oh my gosh, that video, Earl was a pip. If that isn’t the very definition of, “And another thing…!” I don’t know what might be.

    He’ll definitely be missed.

  88. 88.

    Mike E

    @efgoldman: Their selfish corporate behavior can be overlooked once the gloves fly off. I’m a Philly fan, I once went to a brawl when suddenly a hockey game broke out, I’m easily assuaged by violence.

  89. 89.

    jeffreyw

    @WaterGirl: Well, there may be issues with the kittehs and the other pups. Also she may be a flight risk. Mrs J spotted her in a shelter in Tulsa and a local transporter outfit brought her to the shelter here. She will get every chance to fit in, you betcha.

  94. 94.

    Evolving Deep Southerner

    Posted this on the gun thread below, but we’ve seen some timely dumbasses with guns antics here in Raleigh just this afternoon. If it makes me a bad person to laugh my ass off, I guess I’ll just have to live with it. God knows how bad it makes me to wish that everybody at the damn show had flipped out, whipped out whatever they had, and killed one another like the finale scene in Reservoir Dogs.

  97. 97.

    scav

    @Evolving Deep Southerner:

    The show, which is held inside the Jim Graham Building, closed for the remainder of the day but will continue Sunday without private gun sales. Authorities said no personal guns will be allowed on the property. Only guns sold by licensed dealers and vendors will be allowed.

    Oh hell, now I’m confused. Is this now a gun-free zone where any and all gun incidents happen or not?

    And everyone can contact me in future alongside wherever Evolving Deep Southerner ends up.

  99. 99.

    Evolving Deep Southerner

    @Raven: The name seemed vaguely familiar, but I hadn’t ever heard that story until I just Googled his name.

  100. 100.

    YellowJournalism

    Gex, I’ll echo what others have said: keep talking to her. Let her know she’s loved as she lets go. Our thoughts are with you.

  101. 101.

    MikeJ

    @RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist:

    Speaking of weather, I just got a work call and I’m driving to Kokomo on Monday. Wherever that is.

    Pop music has led me to believe that it’s near Aruba, Bahama, come on pretty mama, but I think it;s in Indiana. Secret Cole meeting?

  107. 107.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @Roger Moore: I remember an incident at a gun show when an idiot who snuck in a gun for for an unauthorized private sale(the gun show was sponsored by a gun collector club, and only members could sell their weapons)the weapon went off nearly hitting a nine year old. I was there at the time, talk about a mob reaction, the poor trailer trash needed the police to protect him.

  108. 108.

    monkeyfister

    I suppose that if you took the sausages, browned them; sauteed the onions and peppers, a bit of garlic and some parsley, oregano and a bit of basil with them, and then added some tomato sauce, or perhaps a bit of Spicy V8, and simmered it for a bit, you’d end up with something like Colman’s sausage casserole, but it might actually taste good.

    I make long-simmered Italian sauce with sausages and onions and peppers to put in hogie rolls. This looks like the horrible English YAK-inducing excuse for that.

    Never trust an English packet or box for ANYTHING that resembles actual food. Their standards are quantum levels lower than American processed “food” stuffs. There is a British blog that does nothing but try and review British packaged foods. Hilarity and puke usually ensues from the author. I wish I still had the link, but that was two dead computers ago.

    I have no idea how the modern Brit even survives, unless they grow and raise their own food.

  109. 109.

    Evolving Deep Southerner

    @Mr Stagger Lee:

    talk about a mob reaction, the poor trailer trash needed the police to protect him.

    It’s funny, I thought the same thing when I saw this. I just got a picture of thus dumb fucker with a bloody and getting taken out to a gauntlet of fellow rednecks giving him shit on the way out. “Yew a goddam ree-tard or whut?”

  110. 110.

    monkeyfister

    Hell. I live in Armpit, West Tennessee, and I don’t buy American processed food ANYTHING. I DO grow, raise, hunt, buy uber-local, and barter for my own wholesome foods. Trips to the grocery store are by and large for paper products and freezer bags, and sidebar items, like the occasional out of season/out of region fruit.

  112. 112.

    josefina

    @jeffreyw: She’s adorable! That dainty sniffing at the treats–hard to know if it’s her own temperament or a reaction to her circumstances. Either way, I hope you and the missis have many, many happy years with her.

  113. 113.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Gex:

    Thank you for the update. We continue to think of you both with whatever the online-bloggy-never-actually-met-in-person version of love is.

    I guess it’s love.

  114. 114.

    West of the Rockies

    Something about that package made me think of “Treet” (the poor man’s Spam). Bet it’s some pretty salty stuff.

  116. 116.

    Peregrinus

    @Gex:

    The support you’ve spoken of in this thread (and that I saw on the FB page you linked) is wonderful, and as someone upthread said, really a tribute to you both. Kate is lucky to have you by her side.

    (Apropos of nothing, sneaking 25 people into an ICU is what my [Cuban] family calls the “Cuban gambit.” We’re quite good at it, and I’m glad to hear you were able to pull it off as well.)

    I can’t do much from here, but I am with you both in spirit.

  117. 117.

    FlyingToaster

    @scav: If there’s a Penzey’s, they have dried epazote.

    I’ve been growing epazote in my hellstrip (along with dill, calendula and waldstenia) for the past couple of years. One of the local cops was smelling it when he was rousting out some car thieves and came by the next day to find out what the hell that soapy, oreganoey stuff was.

    I’ve never heard of hoja santa, so you’re on you own there.

  119. 119.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Raven: Sometime this spring or summer I have to figure out how to wangle an invitation over to Athens . Your garden looks like So.Much.Fun.

  122. 122.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Gex:

    There has been a lot of laughter. On occasion part of my psyche feels guilty about that, but only part, and I know I have nothing to feel guilty about.

    Indeed you do not. My mother has been dead for (counts on fingers) almost 38 years, and my siblings and I still remember how we sat up all night after she died, laughing like loons and breaking down and weeping uncontrollably and then laughing hysterically again. It’s all part of it, and nothing to feel guilty about at all.

  124. 124.

    Peregrinus

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    @Gex:

    My grandmother passed away in December after a mercifully short fight with esophageal cancer. I flew back for a week to be with my family, and – at least for the first two or three nights, when her siblings and other assorted relatives were there – I can’t recall having laughed so much, or so hard, or so long. I think it is ultimately a reassurance. A way to prove that one day, the wound will begin to heal.

  125. 125.

    DaveInOz

    As a Norwich exile in Australia, it’s good to see Colman’s of Norwich getting a mention on the BJ site.

    Norwich isn’t on the UK tourist trail – the nearest visitors get is Cambridge, but it’s worth a visit. Colman’s were known purely for their mustard, they have a mustard museum in the city centre.

    They are now just a brand swallowed by the Unilever corporation.

  126. 126.

    Steeplejack

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    No disrespect to Raven’s beloved dog, but that smiling guy is Hotai (or Budei), not the Buddha. A jolly monk from Chinese folklore who has become conflated with the Buddha mostly because of ubiquitous statues in (old-school) Chinese and Japanese restaurants.

    Fortunately, this will not get you a punch in the neck from outraged Buddhists, because they’re not usually into that sort of thing.

  129. 129.

    pseudonymous in nc

    @monkeyfister:

    I suppose that if you took the sausages, browned them; sauteed the onions and peppers, a bit of garlic and some parsley, oregano and a bit of basil with them, and then added some tomato sauce, or perhaps a bit of Spicy V8, and simmered it for a bit, you’d end up with something like Colman’s sausage casserole, but it might actually taste good.

    Yep.

    Also, natives of the land that gave the world Hamburger Helper may want to STFU about British packaged foodstuffs.

  131. 131.

    cckids

    @Gex: I am dreadfully late to this, being on the left coast & all, but oh, my, I feel for you. Blessings on you & Kate. I am dreading the days to come when I’m doing the same with my son, or my dad. Hang in there.

  133. 133.

    andy

    Since the weatherman says it’ll get to -20º tonight (with a -50º windchill), I thought I would make some cassoulet. Turns out it’s pretty good on a home made hard roll with some honey mustard.

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