Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

The revolution will be supervised.

Consistently wrong since 2002

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

Peak wingnut was a lie.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

I really should read my own blog.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

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150Comments

  12. 12.

    Robin G.

    Doesn’t that almost always happen, though? Singing in the cold isn’t good for vocal chords.

  15. 15.

    Villago Delenda Est

    OK, so she lip synched to her own voice. This is what passes for a scandal in our MSM today, not lying your ass off to kill hundreds of thousands in Iraq?

    As Ben points out, it’s not like a case of Milli-Vanilli where the voices were not those of the seen “performer”.

    Besides, Beyonce is very, very easy on the eyes. Michelle Obama easy.

  16. 16.

    Sterling

    Are House republicans going to launch an investigation to see who authorized this deception?

  17. 17.

    Mart

    Paraphrasing the end of the link T’eo story below… why do journalists think this is a story, and why do media consumers care?

  18. 18.

    Zam

    Impeachable offense. In fact if my Facebook feed is any indication anything done in the us by a Black man is grounds for obama’s impeachment or at least a nullification of ye election results

  19. 19.

    the Conster

    Yo Yo Ma and his playing partner air cello’ed/violined Simple Gifts last time, too – cold screws up the sound of the instruments, and as a focus of the ceremony you don’t want people talking about you and not the president. But hey, look, a shiny thing!

  21. 21.

    karen marie

    How does this work? Is she just making her mouth move but not really singing, or is she singing but it’s not going into the amplification system? If the latter is the case, aren’t the people in the immediate vicinity hearing her fake singing as well as the prerecorded singing?

  22. 22.

    jayboat

    I’m of the camp that wishes Beyonce had put a little more of her trademark ‘stylings’ into the performance.

    But, that’s just me.
    (wink, wink, nudge, nudge…)

  23. 23.

    Zifnab25

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    This is what passes for a scandal in our MSM today, not lying your ass off to kill hundreds of thousands in Iraq?

    In all fairness, that wasn’t a scandal until at least 2005.

    But if it makes you feel better, I can point you over to Reason or RedState, where you can hear all about brave citizen journalists screaming “Unconsta-ma-tutional!” and “You’ll pry my shoulder-mounted death cannon from my cold, flaccid wing-wong!”

  24. 24.

    Ash Can

    Wait till these people find out that bubblegum-pink isn’t Nicki Minaj’s natural hair color.

  25. 25.

    Amir Khalid

    Shrug. Unless Obama secretly appointed Beyonce to his administration, and she was performing as an officer thereof, I don’t see how this embarrasses anyone but her, if that. Given that outdoor performances in winter can be hard on musical instruments (including singers’ throats) she had a perfectly good reason for lip-synching and no cause for shame.

  30. 30.

    artem1s

    @jayboat:

    I’m of the camp that wishes Beyonce had put a little more of her trademark ‘stylings’ into the performance.

    no no no no no no no, seriously, i’m getting to the point where i think the national anthem should, by law, only be performed by a sanctioned military band. it has become a ridiculous spectacle and i’m tired of each and every performer trying to outdo the last. i for one will be really glad when this particular fad passes. if you are going to invite a world class performer to your event, let them perform something singable.

  34. 34.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Disco:

    OK, she was there to kidnap the kids to force Obama to invite her to a little ménage à trois with Michelle.

    The Secret Service, however, knowing all about this in advance because JayZ told them about it, put the kibosh on the entire thing.

    Beyonce has been sentenced to life at the Grammys, which Fat Tony Scalia has ruled is not cruel and unusual punishment.

  35. 35.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Amir Khalid:

    The Marine Band said that they had pre-recorded all their music too just in case. While they played live because the weather turned out nicer than expected you can bet if it had been snowing like had been forecast they would have used the pre-recorded stuff too. Any kind of precip can play hell on the reed instruments in particular. It could be that she woke up with the sniffles that morning and decided to go with the pre-recorded version rather than risk embarrassment to both herself and POTUS. I don’t blame her at all.

  36. 36.

    catclub

    @artem1s: You probably want those kids off your lawn, too. Good luck waiting for your vindication. (I will be there, resigned to it.)

  37. 37.

    suzanne

    Uh, didn’t Whitney lip-synch the Anthem at the Super Bowl when she supposedly did it the best EVAR?!?! Christina Aguilera should have done that the year she effed up the words.

    I want to be Beyonce when I grow up.

  39. 39.

    Forum Tramsmitted Disease

    no no no no no no no, seriously, i’m getting to the point where i think the national anthem should, by law, only be performed by a sanctioned military band. it has become a ridiculous spectacle and i’m tired of each and every performer trying to outdo the last.

    @artem1s: As a musician, I could not agree more. It was a ridiculous song in the first place, and then…modern amplification was developed and people started to actually sing the fucking thing.

    Stop.

  42. 42.

    Ash Can

    @artem1s:
    @catclub:

    I pretty much agree with artem1s. Those kids are welcome to stay on my lawn if they can sing the damned anthem without screwing around with it and making it all about them.

  43. 43.

    Forum Transmitted Disease

    @artem1s: As a musician, I could not agree more. It was a ridiculous song in the first place, and then…modern amplification was developed and people started to actually sing the fucking thing.

    Stop. Please.

  44. 44.

    Shrillhouse

    Did the people who actually sung on those Milli Vanilli records ever get the Grammys that were rightfully theirs?

    After all, someone had to record those vocals. Unless, it was done by robots.

    If so, did the robots ever get their justly earned Grammys?

    Or would giving the award to a robot cheapen the prestige of the Grammys?

  46. 46.

    Comrade Dread

    @artem1s: Yeah, I think I read that if played and sung properly as it was written, each verse would clock in at 52 seconds, but most performers stretch it out to 2 or 3 times that with their vocal stylings.

  47. 47.

    jl

    Been out of the intertubes loop since Friday mid day. But did hear the president’s inaugural address on the news radio machine out in the boondocks. Liked it, did not have a ‘post-partisan depression’ afterwards.

    Now lets see if my out of the loop training session gives me the discipline to ignore the nonsense.

    Who gives a rat’s whatever if she lip synched it?

  48. 48.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Shrillhouse:

    I think it’s fair to say that the Grammys in that case were awarded on the basis of the video presentation of the song, not the song itself.

  49. 49.

    srv

    That was really a Beyonce animitronic, as she had to take a black helicopter to Newtown to lead the coverup there.

  52. 52.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    @Ash Can: I don’t mind that they interpret it, or any songs. Then again, I like both Depeche Mode’s and Lacuna Coils versions of “Enjoy the Silence” and NIN and Johnny Cash’s versions of “Dirt.”

  53. 53.

    Mnemosyne

    What’s funny is that one of the friends I was watching the inauguration with yesterday was convinced Beyonce was lip-syncing because her throat wasn’t moving right. (The friend works in a recording studio, so she knows what the physical act of singing looks like.) She’ll be happy to know she was right, because we were all skeptical!

  54. 54.

    Soonergrunt

    @Amir Khalid: Yo Yo Ma talked about this extensively after the last inauguration. The string quartet did something to their bows so that they wouldn’t make any noise while a recording played because the sound of wood strings in the cold is, to use his words “pretty horrifying.” He also stated that the USMC Band was faking it as well for the same reason, which the USMC Public Affairs office responded with something along the lines about how all their uniforms were just perfect and hey look, a shiny thing!

    The DC Press Corpse is fucking useless.

  55. 55.

    catclub

    @Ash Can: I also agree that it would be nice if they performed it that way. I was just pointing out that such is not going to happen, and he might as well yell at clouds and tell about the onion on his belt, for the amount of change in national anthem performance practice that will ensue from his pointed denunciation of the latest vocal stylings of the yoots.

  56. 56.

    NotMax

    Next: microphones used made in China.

    This is how the republic will end – not with a bang, but with a simper.

  57. 57.

    jl

    Except, damn, I am a hard platinum man. Looks like GOP will fold, at least for next four months on the debt ceiling. Still think Obama should not have given up options in dealing with debt ceiling, but maybe that is just because I wanted some platinum walking money jingling in my pocket. I was looking forward to them platinum coins, with some evil face on ’em.

  58. 58.

    daveNYC

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    OK, she was there to kidnap the kids to force Obama to invite her to a little ménage à trois with Michelle.

    The Secret Service, however, knowing all about this in advance because JayZ told them about it, put the kibosh on the entire thing.

    Beyonce has been sentenced to life at the Grammys, which Fat Tony Scalia has ruled is not cruel and unusual punishment.

    Totally unbelievable. Had that been her plan, Obama would have had the Secret Service hand her as many hostages as was necessary for her to pull off her plan.

  59. 59.

    Comrade Dread

    I think the only remaining question we have is “What did the President know and when did he know it?”

    We’ll need a special prosecutor and an 18 month investigation to find out.

  61. 61.

    mouse tolliver

    @Unabogie:

    It’s not like there were any more gun massacres recently…

    Shots fired at a community college in Texas just now. If it’s a day that ends in Y, people are getting shot in the United States.

  64. 64.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @NotMax:

    This is how the republic will end – not with a bang, but with a simper.

    The Marine Corps Band playing “Simper Fideles”?

  65. 65.

    Another Halocene Human

    This is worse than the time Yo-Yo Ma bow-synched his performance of “American Masturbation Fanfare” or whatever the fuck that arrangement was in negative-fuck-your-instrument-up degree weather at the last inauguration!

    Orly Taitz will be looking into this post haste!

  69. 69.

    Naugty Noo-Noo

    Wow. Because performers only use DAT a lot. Especially when outdoors in iffy weather.

    For someone singing the National Anthem during the Inauguration and aware fifty zillion people will release the kraken if she doesn’t nail each note, pre-recorded would be the way to go.

  70. 70.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    I was listening to an interesting tidbit on MSNBC on Monday, (I think it was from Rachael) she was saying that while we think today’s congress is disfunctional the reason the inauguration is held outside to begin with is that one year (don’t remember which) the two parties couldn’t decide which chairs to use when it was held indoors so they just said “sod it” and moved it outside. Fun fact.

  72. 72.

    Another Halocene Human

    @Comrade Dread: Why all the stylings hate? The song sounds stupid, and very British. The stylings, while not unique to American music, are an American tradition and the specific style in which they are done owes a lot to Gospel music, making it most certainly ‘our thing’.

    Shorter: as long as we’re going to continue to call that POS our “national anthem” what’s wrong with doing it our way?

    Also, too, singing that song is like singing “Pomp & Circumstance” but if you do sing it, it should be with dotted quarter notes, kinda like the Handel theme (Sarabande) from Barry Lyndon? And a springier tempo, like the horn arrangements. Should sound a bit like “When the Homefront Goes Marching Along” but without the jazziness.

  74. 74.

    JustAnotherBob

    @artem1s: The Star Spangled Banner is a terrible piece of music. I don’t care what people do when they sing it, I’ll turn down the volume on all versions.

    It’s a new century. Can’t we adopt a new piece of music?

    I’ll nominate “This Land is Our Land”. I’m much more into redwood forests than bombs bursting overhead.

  75. 75.

    jibeaux

    Obviously the guillotine is too good for her, but that baby is really right cute so I say let’s call it a draw and move on.

    For the second time, I’m watching a live feed of the President and the Mrs. greeting visitors to the White House. I don’t know why, but I find it really moving. They’re just naturals at it.

  76. 76.

    jp7505a

    OT – if it’s Tue what college campus is being shot up today. early reports 3 hurt by gunfire at Lone Star College in texas(sigh)

  77. 77.

    Another Halocene Human

    Hell, that song is actually crying for baroque/early Classical “stylings”.

    I want to hear a very precise Mozart soprano take it on.

    Maybe then we can all agree that “God Save The Queen” ought to have been left in Old Europe where it belongs.

  79. 79.

    Comrade Dread

    Why all the stylings hate?

    I don’t know, because it seems like a challenge for all singers to try and fluff the piece so they end up dragging it out and stretching it out until the song becomes a tedious musical death march turning a three hour sporting event into what seems like a 6 hour one. /hyperbole

    52 seconds is fast and upbeat.

  80. 80.

    Another Halocene Human

    @wasabi gasp: Andrew Jackson, America’s First Redneck President, started his term with a beer-soaked hoedown. That didn’t end too well for the Cherokee Nation all rednecks claim lineage from.

  81. 81.

    Joshua Norton

    Oh boo freaking hoo wingnutters. That’s pretty much the standard way of performing now.

    When you’ve shelled out $125 to see “Wicked” and find out EVERYTHING is pre-recorded and lip-synched then you may have a reason to bitch.

    Until then STFU with your non-existant “scandals”.

  82. 82.

    joeyess

    Congressional hearing in the House of Representatives must be convened immediately to get to the bottom of this nefarious, Kenyan/Muslim/Soshoolist plot to undermine the meritocratic integrity of the evil leftwing media complex.

    … or something like that.

  84. 84.

    Poopyman

    BREAKING! MUST CREDIT WEIGEL!

    @daveweigel I was more alarmed by “Obama’s On Fire”.
    __
    — Luke Dones (@lukedones) January 22, 2013

  85. 85.

    Cassidy

    @Comrade Dread: I honestly don’t like that up and down thing that modern R&B singers do with their voice. I have no idea what it’s called. I think it’s pointless filler. I’m also biased as I don’t like any R&B after Motown.

  86. 86.

    Another Halocene Human

    @Comrade Dread: It’s only tedious if the artist sucks, like with anything pretentious. It’s not pretense if you know what the fuck you’re doing, but heaven help you if you’re pretending to be something you’re not.

    If you did it in the antique style, though, it would sound furri’n. Not sure the baseball crowd would go for that. Plus, they need the extra time in the anthem to relieve their “pre-loaded” beer bladders without missing any crucial game moments.

  89. 89.

    Amir Khalid

    @Soonergrunt:
    Maybe they should have played the John Cage composition that consists of someone just sitting and staring at a piano for four and a half minutes. Guaranteed no acoustic problems.

  91. 91.

    Another Halocene Human

    @Joshua Norton: Hm, don’t feel so bad going to high school musicals any more.

    NFW I’m paying that kind of dosh (plus travel expenses!) to watch something pre-recorded. Opera is live, you fucking fuckers, and that’s a hell of a lot harder to sing.

    No offense to musical performers… but let’s be real: a voice to fill the Met is an extremely specific and difficult to acquire skill.

  92. 92.

    Mandalay

    @JustAnotherBob:

    It’s a new century. Can’t we adopt a new piece of music?

    Why not the Internationale? It’s stirring lyrics opposing tyranny should appeal just as much to the NRA as the Marxist Revolutionary Party led by comrade Obama…

    And if those cannibals keep trying,
    To sacrifice us to their pride,
    They soon shall hear the bullets flying,
    We’ll shoot the generals on our own side.

    What a great way to bring Americans together!

  94. 94.

    NotMax

    @JustAnotherBob

    t’s a new century. Can’t we adopt a new piece of music?

    The neocons/preppers/tricorn zombies, etc., being preternaturally unhip, might adopt this tune without a hint of comprehension of the irony of doing so.

  95. 95.

    Another Halocene Human

    @gogol’s wife: This Land Is Your land would really stand out at the Olympics, though. Especially an acoustic guitar rendition with maybe a mandolin picking in the background. So there’s that. Our anthem’s only saving grace is that it sounds nice with brass instruments, unlike “O Canada”, which sounds silly no matter how you play it.

  101. 101.

    Jim C

    @Disco:

    Why was Beyonce there to begin with?

    Here’s a guess: She was invited to sing.

    Maybe I’m wrong though. Maybe, before the President[-Elect] comes out, they call out to the crowd for a volunteer to sing – provided the volunteer has brought a backing track of vocal sweeteners, of course. Beyonce and her husband just happened to be about 100,000 people back in the crowd, decided she was capable enough, and were then ushered forth to sit among the VIPs like Morgan Freeman, I mean, Bill Russell.

    And, if you have a hard boiled egg in your purse, you can administer the Oath of Office.

  104. 104.

    Cassidy

    @gogol’s wife: I know. It’s rare that I ever get to use that bit of old comedy and couldn’t pass it up.

    Thank you, though. I looked it up. Maybe it’s something about R&B singers doing it that bothers me, because I love Middle Eastern singing.

  106. 106.

    NotMax

    @Another Halocene Human

    No offense to musical performers… but let’s be real: a voice to fill the Met is an extremely specific and difficult to acquire skill.

    Reminded of the time I saw Ethel Merman in a revival of Annie Get Your Gun on the Great White Way.

    This was in the earliest era of having Broadway performers mic’d. Some on the stage were, very obviously (there was a speaker on a wall behind us, which made for the disconcerting effect of just some of the voices coming from the wrong direction).

    Sitting in the next to the last row in the nosebleed section of the theater, Merman (no mic) was too loud. But glorious nonetheless.

  107. 107.

    gogol's wife

    @Cassidy:

    Yes, it’s just a technique, which can be very beautiful and meaningful if used correctly. But I agree with you that it’s become an overused cliche among the “American Idol/X Factor” set.

  110. 110.

    NotMax

    Speaking of the national anthem, the almost never performed third and fourth stanzas:

    And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
    That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion,
    A home and a country, should leave us no more?
    Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps’ pollution.
    No refuge could save the hireling and slave
    From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
    And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave,
    O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

    O thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
    Between their loved home and the war’s desolation.
    Blest with vict’ry and peace, may the Heav’n rescued land
    Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
    Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
    And this be our motto: “In God is our trust.”
    And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
    O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

  111. 111.

    Soonergrunt

    @Amir Khalid: But then our wingers and press corpse would lead with “Obama supporter has no musical talent, and was hired under affirmative action!”
    Win-win!

  112. 112.

    Another Halocene Human

    @artem1s: Ever tried to sing the first line?

    It’s like “O Holy Night” or the bridge in the national anthem.

    But worse, it sounds kinda dumpy even if you pull it off without that kazoo-like vocal slide.

    Wait, comparing “O Sainte Nuit” to O Canada is doing the former a grave disservice.

  114. 114.

    artem1s

    @Another Halocene Human:

    OK, hardly ever have to listen to it; never had to sing it! LOL.

    national anthems = great for orchestration and listening, horrible for actual singing!

    thank the FSM no one ever tries to sing the Stars and Stripes Forever, or at least not often enough to matter. Great march, horrible lyrics and impossible to sing. And you miss all that great counter melody stuff.

  117. 117.

    Mike E

    @catclub: You mean God Bless America at the old ballgame, which became de rigueur after 9/11. I’d much prefer “purple mountains majesty” over that overwrought schmaltz any day of the week.

  119. 119.

    LanceThruster

    New Rule – All lip sync performances must be done in Japanese monstor movie voiceover dub style such as in the orginal “Godzilla.”

    That is all.

  120. 120.

    johnny aquitard

    @johnny aquitard: His friends urged him to sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.

    After a few rehearsals they finally convinced him to sing solo. Solo no one can hear.

  123. 123.

    Anna in PDX

    @Joshua Norton: Yeah our local ballet does some of its Nutcracker performance with a prerecorded orchestra instead of a live one in the pit. the horror. (Makes ticket prices cheaper – too bad though in my book because I am all for supporting musicians)

  124. 124.

    Alex S.

    Meh, Beyoncé, I don’t like her. Four years ago, Aretha sang live, ok, it was not perfect, but Beyoncé is too robotic for me.

  127. 127.

    gelfling545

    I heard on our local classical music station that the US is unusual in that in most countries people aren’t actually expected to sing their national anthems.

  131. 131.

    AA+ Bonds

    I would love to see a video of everyone in Congress singing the national anthem alone, in a room, one after the other

  133. 133.

    MaxxLange

    The Star-Spangled Banner has a melody that spans, IIRC, an octave and a fifth, which guarantees that almost no one can sing it well. It’s a strange choice.

  138. 138.

    gogol's wife

    @FlipYrWhig:

    I’m going to attempt to answer this without googling for precision, but I think the difference would be that melisma is bending a note, while coloratura involves a lot of notes sung fast, but you don’t bend them.

  139. 139.

    MattR

    @Jay in Oregon: @Jerzy Russian: Wow. That level of stupidity is pretty amazing. At the same time, I bet there are a ton of people who don’t know the distributive property by name and it would have been nice for Raw Story to explain what it is so all the readers can realize how much of an ado about nothing the Fox idiots are making.

    C*(A+B) = (C*A)+(C*B)

  140. 140.

    PurpleGirl

    @MaxxLange: It’s an English drinking song — you can only sing it when you’re blitzed. You may not be able to remember the words but you’ll hit the notes (although maybe not in the right order).

  142. 142.

    Origuy

    The “standard” version of the tune of SSB is the creation of a committee.

    By the early 20th century, there were various versions of the song in popular use. Seeking a singular, standard version, President Woodrow Wilson tasked the U.S. Bureau of Education with providing that official version. In response, the Bureau enlisted the help of five musicians to agree upon an arrangement. Those musicians were: Walter Damrosch, William Earhart, Arnold J. Gantvoort, Oscar George Sonneck and John Philip Sousa. The standardized version that was voted upon by these five musicians premiered at Carnegie Hall on December 5, 1917 in a program that included Edward Elgar’s Carillon and Gabriel Pierné’s The Children’s Crusade. The concert was put on by the Oratorio Society of New York and conducted by Walter Damrosch.[7] An official handwritten version of the final votes of these five men has been found and shows all five men’s votes tallied, measure by measure.

  143. 143.

    Comrade Nimrod Humperdink

    Darrell Issa, Champion of the People, answer the call! This aggression will not stand, man!

  144. 144.

    LanceThruster

    @AA+ Bonds:

    I tried doing it in the shower (singing, that is) and realized how unsure I was of the lyrics (but I still sounded awesome thanks to shower stall acoustics).

  146. 146.

    Hob

    Unless there’s been some further update to the update to the confirmation, the news reports do not fucking say that Beyoncé was lip-syncing. She was singing along to a recorded instrumental track— in other words, the Marine Band was basically playing air guitar.

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