Somebody had to go there. Josh Gondelman, for NYMag, explains how he “Bought Three Fake Girlfriends on the Internet“:
… The modern ease of catfishing has had the tangential effect of growing a cottage industry of websites offering the services of fake Internet girlfriends. Make an existing girlfriend jealous, they urge. Get your nagging family off your back. None market directly to those garnering sympathy during a Heisman campaign, nor to what I imagine must be a lucrative contingent of deeply closeted gay men. Almost all the sites guarantee discretion — and contain a disclaimer that you WILL NOT meet your fake online girlfriend for in-person sex stuff, no matter how nicely you ask.
To better understand the plight of Manti Te’o, I decided to blow some money on an imaginary paramour. Fake Internet relationships, it turns out, are a buyer’s market…
Bonus marketing points to the site that promises “For an additional hundred clams, your F.I.G. can join your World of Warcraft or Everquest II campaign”!
Apart from surreptitously checking all your guild buddies’ chats for “tells”, what’s on the agenda for the evening?
So I guess it’s time for us to stop laughing at the Japanese guys marrying their dolls?
Cyberbeards. The new dotcom boom.
@dr. bloor: The used panties vending machine remains open season.
Harry Reid must have been in the submarine service since his motto is “Dive, dive dive.” Oh right, he was a boxer, taking a dive. What a fucking pansy!
Just Some Fuckhead
You don’t have to spend any money to get a fake online girlfriend. Hell, I got a half dozen right here on Balloon Juice.
Bob In Portland
Who needs a fake girlfriend when you have a fake Democrat for Senate Majority leader?
@Bob In Portland:
Splendiforous. Exactly what I had in mind on the last thread.
ETA: @SteveinSC:, also too.
Well. That isn’t sad or anything.
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Oops. I meant to tell you. I’m not female.
David in NY
I liked especially:
That’s a hilarious article.
I should get my daughter into the fake girlfriend business to pay for college (I previously offered to let them grow pot in the garden if CA legalized pot, but that initiative failed). She’d be bad at it, but apparently that’s par for the course.
My nomination for the most disgusting tweet of the day:
@Zifnab25: The amused perv in me sometimes wonders about the logistics of such an enterprise. Do they have a factory that produces used panties, with a conveyor belt running down the middle loaded with new panties, and where dozens of women at stations along its length pull one off, put it on, do a few exercises, then pull it off and then throw it into a bin destined for the packaging and shipping dept.?
Or is it a cottage industry, piecework, in other words.
Perhaps it’s a sideline for the Underpants Gnomes. Which means we now know what step 2 is:
1. Steal (womens’) underwear
2. Sell to Japanese men
And what about quality control? Gives a whole new meaning to spot checking.
Open thread? Open thread.
I just gave the most gut wrenching presentation of my life. I messed up a key point but we’ll see how bad it hurts me. Oh well, it’s DONE.
@SteveinSC: What the hell did Reid do now to piss off the Professional Pants Pissers?
Isn’t that what the “Get your nagging family off your back.” line is about?
@Yutsano: Don’t look back, they might be gainin on ya!
@Punchy: He didn’t push the filibuster rule that he probably didn’t have enough votes to get through. Fucking pussy.
@Punchy: He didn’t push the filibuster rule that he probably didn’t have enough votes to get through.
So people have figured out how to monetize assholishness, eh?
@Punchy: And I don’t know what caused the BJ Exquisite Prigs to come out and play the stupid? Oh, right it’s not an act.
What’s with the gun owner fetish for posting fake quotes? On the internet, where a quick google search almost always leads to Snopes. It’s ridiculous.
@Raven: I did about 90% of it right. But I did fuck up a huge point. I think that because I understood what exactly I messed up on that it might still work out in my favour. Oh well. I find out the actual results tomorrow. I’m just glad it’s done.
@SteveinSC: Whats a prig? Can I get angry about it?
Oh that’s right you are Raven the all-knowing bird, able to devine facts not available to anyone but Exquisite Prigs. Moron.
@Raven: I’m pretty sure he did have the votes, but it would have carried a larger cost.
The filibuster is as much an agreement between the majority and minority leaders as anything else. If Reid can get McConnell to agree to cut way back on the filibusters in lieu of making that change permanent, then the outcome is the same, and the filibuster is preserved for the future. Everyone comes out feeling like a winner.
@SteveinSC: Hey motherfucker how bout you shove it up your ass? Punk.
I think your suggestion that it’s a cottage industry is probably correct. I can’t imagine that the market is that big, so you don’t need a massive assembly line. Assuming that they’re authentically worn and not just sprayed with fake schoolgirl scent, I’d think the easiest approach would be to recruit girls who like the idea of wearing brand new panties every day and aren’t too weirded out by perverts sniffing them. You could probably get some of them to do it for the wardrobe benefit alone.
@Roger Moore: You’re scaring me with how much thought you’ve put into this.
smedley the uncertain
iseem to recall several dems defected, including carl levin. so no he didn’t have the votes
@Raven: Touchy, touchy aren’t we? Can’t win on the facts, win on the invective. Sweet.
@johnny aquitard: There’s only a handful of these machines in a dark corner of Kabuki-cho, and a lot nastier things than that go on there. I’m sure the vending machine owner just visits the local whorehouses/strip clubs, etc.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
John Cole’s Ladyfriend exposed!
Hope you’re sitting in a safe chair when reading this.
Shocking, right? These fuckers will have us all roast/drown/starve just to raise their quarterly margins.
@Raven: thanks to people like Leahy and Boxer. You know, “fake Democrats.”
“Senate Democratic Whip Dick Durbin (Ill.), a leading liberal, said Wednesday Democrats do not have enough votes to implement the talking-filibuster reform.
He said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) has suggested a package of more modest reforms to Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell (Ky.). They include proposals to eliminate filibusters on motions to proceed to new business and to speed the process for sending legislation to conference negotiations with the House.
Read more: http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/278815-sen-durbin-democrats-lack-votes-to-pass-talking-filibuster-reform#ixzz2IwD9CY9J
Follow us: @thehill on Twitter | TheHill on Facebook
I had honestly never given it much thought until I saw your post. That’s pretty much off the top of my head, which I’ll admit may be just as scary as the idea that I had already put great thought into the topic.
Oh, is that why you keep screaming “Exquisite Prigs” over and over again? I thought you were trying to come up with your own SNL-style catchprase.
@SteveinSC: Yea, calling me a moron wasn’t and invective was it? What the fuck is your problem? You don’t think I was right, fine. Don’t jump on me and expect me to roll over.
@Raven: the “talking filibuster” thing wasn’t going to be something that benefited Democrats or liberals anyway. What does a jerkwad like Rand Paul or Mike Lee want more than attention for some stupid pet cause? I liked the proposal about needing to have 41 senators present to keep a filibuster going. But senators like having quirky, hard-to-justify powers, and most of them plan to be around a while, so I’m not too surprised that the status quo remained largely intact.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@FlipYrWhig: Leahy and Boxer opposed filibuster reform? that surprising and disappointing.
I think this reeks. Is there a good reason for CMS to decide that ordinary folk don’t need to see investigative reports any more? (Other than CYA for conflict of interest, I mean.)
I think this just gives the anti-Obamacare folk more ammunition for the whole Big Secret Government Takeover thing. Here’s a petition to reverse the CMS decision. Due to new rules, there needs to be 150 signatures before the petition shows up on the website, and 100,000 signatures for a White House response. Please go sign!
What do you “get” if you “win?”
@burnspbesq: Steak knives.
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: I think I read that on Lawyers, Guns, and Money, if it wasn’t here in someone’s link.
Ha, Rev Al is playing Taj Mahal’s Fishin song with Aqua Buddha’s picture up.
Betcha’ goin’ fishin’ all o’ da’ time
Baby goin’ fishin’ too.
Bet yo’ life, Yo’ sweet wife
Catch mo’ fish than you.
Many fish bites if ya’ got good bait,
Here’s a little tip that I would like to relate.
Many fish bites if ya’ got good bait.
I’m a goin fishin’, Yes I’m goin’ fishin,
And my baby goin’ fishin’ too.
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: here’s a source: Joan McCarter, daily Kos.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@FlipYrWhig: Yup., LGM
At least Boxer and Leahy are a surprise. Feinstein (Tweety’s idea of “What a Senator Should Be!”) and Baucus were all but sure things. Pryor and Manchin. Ugh. And I suspect there are a few more (Landrieu, Johnson, Warner, Nelson) who are just as happy to keep their heads down and let others do the dirty work.
That’s odd. I don’t think any of my comments in any thread today have included “@raven.”
Trust me, when I’m interested in your feeble attempts at humor, I’ll be sure to let you know.
@burnspbesq: Trust me, you post something here and I’ll comment whenever I want to.
@eemom: Last week I called Reid’s office and the person mentioned that he wanted to reform the rule. haha.. The clerk also said he wanted to work with McConnell and I said well how’d that work out for him last time.. Obviously phone calls don’t work.
I am compelled to admit that the housecat is a fake Internet cat. I apologize if anyone was hurt by this.
@Roger Moore: Just ribbing ya!
@SteveinSC: A democratic senator said yesterday they didn’t have enough votes. Don’t ask me who, but someone mentioned it in one of the threads.
“Working with McConnell” must necessarily involve soup.
@Emma: HOW DARE YOU???
I think sometimes we forget Teresa Nielsen Hayden’s wonderful “just because we’re on their side it doesn’t mean they’re on our side.” Senators love their little power games, and they would rather keep playing them.
@Emma: I mean I wasn’t happy about it either, I just read what you did and thought it was relevant to the issue.
Well, gay people, but also there is a mathematical function which describes how the older you get, the less time you are allowed to spend single before blunt family members start asking nagging questions about when are you going to settle down already.
Once you have a sig other for a while, that question is replaced with one about having kids.
@? Martin: Oh, well if McConnell PROMISED then we’re alright. You set my mind at ease.
Just because a thing can be done doesn’t mean it should be done.
@Emma: see the snippet posted by Jim, Foolish Literalist above.
@Raven: Agreed. How dare anyone suggest that at least 5 of the 55 Dems are either misguided fools or power-hungry jerks? The only possible answer is that Reid is 100% to blame.
@Raven: So it was. Still, there are days when I wish the Democratic coalition didn’t have to be so damn all-inclusive. I could do with a few less Blue Dogs. Still, in the long term it’s better than what the Republicans are doing to themselves!
@Emma: I’m witcha.
Herbal Infusion Bagger
The funny thing is, that Koch (as well as being an oil and gas giant), also are huge in chemical processing.
Now, one of (several) needed solutions to reduce CO2 emissions is carbon capture and sequestration. Which, among other things, means sticking a big honkin’ chemical plant next to your power plant to capture the CO2.
Koch make components (absorber column packing) that (for various technical reasons) is by far the best for a plant doing CO2 capture. And you need millions of dollars of said component for each CO2 capture plant.
So at least some of Koch’s businesses would benefit if there was serious legislation on curbing climate change.
@Yutsano: Ah, well, honey, I’ve done my share of those. As awful as it feels afterward, I have also had to recognize that I generally don’t diminish my opinion of an otherwise capable person who makes a mistake, so practically every capable person I respect probably looks at me the same way.
Charlie Pierce on all this:
(I’ve quoted the whole thing: it’s that short.)
@Herbal Infusion Bagger: True, but making money that way is hard work. It’s much easier to dig up a scarce commodity.
@? Martin: And really, who in their right mind would want to listen to the current crop of Republicans blathering for hours in a “talking filibuster”?
@SatanicPanic: “Nobody really checks sources on the internet.” Abe Lincoln.
Herbal Infusion Bagger
It seems that’s more of an issue for women than men. Everyone seems to think its OK to ask a single women in her twenties how her romantic life is going and offer their advice on how to conduct her love life. [About the mid-thirties it stops, because people are afraid of said single women bursting into tears at the comtemplation of a life as a spinster.]
Strangely, asking a middle-aged guy how his love life is going and if he’s still able to keep it up during coitus is not so socially acceptable.
Not in my family. Or maybe they’ve just given up on me.
Herbal Infusion Bagger
That’s true. The money in oil is always on the exploration/production side, while the refineries make a nickel or a dime per gallon.
I can see reasons why DiFi and Boxer might not want to blow up the filibuster. They represent California, which has over 35 million residents and depends on Colorado River water and out of state generated electricity. It used to be more culturally aligned with intermountain western states, but has diverged from many of them in the last couple of decades to the point it is true blue and has more in common with Massachusetts than Idaho. What if some gaggle of intermountain West red state senators decide they want to fuck with that arrangement, with help from their California-hating southern friends, and they figure out a way to get others to sit on the sidelines? John McCain, for example, was making noise a few years back about renegotiating the Colorado River Compact to make it more favorable to Arizona. There are probably some interests in the east that would be ok with that because they think it would be more equitable. Without getting into the particular virtues or defects of such arguments, it’s still understandable that DiFi and Boxer may feel they need to retain the filibuster to protect the interests of their constituents, not just their party. That’s probably the case for many of the other reluctant parties. It may not just be ego.
I love the idea that money outweighs science. Reality has a way of crashing through even the most secure delusions. Too bad the rest of us will drown or die from heat exhaustion & the planet will be f’ed up for a long time.
@SteveinSC: …says the guy who started insulting people because they didn’t agree with you.
Since it’s an Open Thread, there’s this news, from Sen. Murphy:
“That’s why today, I joined my colleagues, Senators Dianne Feinstein, Chuck Schumer, and Richard Blumenthal, and Representatives Carolyn McCarthy, Ed Perlmutter, and Elizabeth Esty to introduce a new ban on military-style assault weapons and high-capacity ammunition magazines.
Now, make no mistake. The opponents of sensible gun control are gearing up for a nationwide fight, and they’ll stop at nothing to flood our communities with even more guns.
Add your name to our petition at NoMoreAssaultWeapons.com to join voices all across the country in our call for the House and Senate to pass the Assault Weapons Ban of 2013 immediately.”
@Emma: But “Blue Dogs” isn’t the entirety of the issue here, if it’s true that Boxer and Leahy were dragging their feet. It seems more like a split between Democrats who think that the senate has a kind of ecology or culture that should stay largely the way it is even if it’s frustrating in the here and now, on one side, and Democrats who want shit to get done, on the other. In my view, it has to suck to work your way into a senate seat and then be told that the rules of the game are to sit quietly for a few years and not to try very hard to do anything. If you’re any kind of Type A personality, it has to be agony.
Wasn’t there a famous Caltech prank involved with coming up with fake schoolgirl scent for used panties? I think the Chemistry Department was in on it.
But then again, I would think that Fake Invisible Internet Girlfriends would go commando.
ETA: I am totally pulling your leg here. No harm intended. I think I saw in an earlier thread that you have a connection to Caltech.
@FlipYrWhig: I think by that time I was speaking more generally but you are definitely right on that one. It would drive me nuts.
@Brachiator: CalTech hijacked the scoreboard in the 84 Illinois-UCLA Rose Bowl!
Fake Internet Girlfriends would presumably wear whatever their boyfriends wanted them too, at least if they’re only required to provide written descriptions rather than photographic evidence. If you want your F.I.G to go commando, she will; if you prefer a particular style of underwear, that’s what you’ll get. Isn’t that the major point of the business, that you get the girlfriend you want?
And yes, I was at Caltech (’94, BS Chemistry, Fleming). I even participated in a prank or two, and saw several outstanding ones. I was never a major player in anything bigger than rewriting the periodic table to send messages, but I helped a bit in turning somebody’s room upside-down. Nothing really legendary, though.
Well, there is the story about the schizophrenic guy whose Fake Internet Girlfriend had a mind of her own.
And didn’t they once change the Hollywood sign to read “Caltech?”
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Shhhh….Nobody tell him that they’re all just Tunch. Poor cat got confused by the term “cat fishing.”
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I don’t have data or graphs or anything, but does it seem to anyone else that Tucker Carlson gets more dumberer as time goes on?
Belafon (Formerly anonevent)
I am mostly pissed at the people who fall for it.
@Brachiator: Hmm, sounds good.
The problem I have with re-institution of the talking filibuster is that it is one of those things which looks good on paper but bumps up rudely against changes in procedure wrought since it was last in force.
In the era of C-SPAN (and sound bites) giving exclusive and uninterrupted access to broadcast from the Senate floor to the minority alters the equation.
It is not all that many steps removed from, for example, requiring the majority to pay for the minority’s advertisements.
Granted that the live audience for C-SPAN2 is not all that large; however the extended use of the stage for 10, 20, 30 hours or more carries an unbalanced perception of clout and authority as well as an opportunity for – let’s use the word – propaganda, of a nature in modern society which is both impactful and readily repeatable (both germane to and unrelated to the bill at hand) that was not a consideration of such import when the talking filibuster did exist.
@NotMax: That’s not actually an issue. If the republicans want to take the floor and talk non stop, there is absolutely nothing stopping them from doing that right now. In the Senate, when you have the floor it is yours until you cede it.
The question was about requiring them to take the floor. If you institute the 41 to continue rule replacing the 60 to stop forcing them to keep the floor makes sense. Without that change, it actually makes it harder on the majority.
Yes, they did both these things. They also hacked UW’s halftime card display stunt so that they spelled out “Caltech” instead of “Huskies”. Probably the best prank while I was there was the Millikan pond whale, though turning Beckman Auditorium into a giant birthday cake for the institute’s 100th birthday was fairly impressive.
Not entirely. Debate (for example, on cloture) is often time-restricted.
Also too, the hook of “I suggest the absence of a quorum.” and other point of order tactics.
@Roger Moore: I was at that game and it was merciful for the Illini because Neuheisel was killin us!
I was figuring they might just treat them with a bit of perfume that was heavy on musk and pretend it was scent that had gotten their by a schoolgirl wearing them. Think about it. Does the average guy who has to buy used panties from a vending machine know what authentic ones smell like?
Since this is an open thread, my dog is allowed to sleep at the end of the bed. Last night it was colder than usual so she moved up closer to me along with her toy and blanket.
At three this morning I rolled over and heard a OhNo… Here is her toy.. link
@JPL: Mr Bill. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONOOOOOOOOOO!
@JPL: We had to give the dogs the boot because of the Princesses’ back issues. The only reprieve is when I end up on the couch.
@Raven: You have to buy one for you mutts. Just don’t allow Mr. Bill in bed with you. lol
@JPL: It’s hilarious. The only thing the Bohdi really cares about is the ball. However, our friends brought their new puppy over and all the sudden the rat, the chicken and the squeaky hamburger got important. Lil Bit doesn’t care about any of it.
There was a “CSI” episode where a guy was a panty sniffing connoisseur. In fact, turns out that this is the title of the episode, The Panty Sniffer.
But I always figured that some advertised premium panties really are “freshened” or whatever by some elderly meth head in Barstow using the money she gets to top off her Social Security checks.
Zuckerberg throws in with Christie!
The new shape of politics.
@srv: He thinks Christie is strong on education… What an idiot.
They’re just FB friends who met at Sociopaths Anonymous.
I love how the GOP is trying to top themselves in who can come up with the best metaphor for an apparently unstoppable President Obama.
You recently had the great Orange One crying in his tan about how Obama was trying to annihilate the GOP.
And now you’ve got Newt Gingrich comparing Obama and House Republicans to Gulliver and Lilliput:
These dopes are bouncing between being ridiculous and being pathetic.
Maybe he hopes Christie will run in 2016 on a “lower Zuckerberg’s taxes” platform.
Chalk up yet another book which Newt has apparently never read, much less comprehended.
Debate is only time limited after cloture. That’s the bedrock principle of the Senate. You never debate cloture, you vote on it. After cloture however, each member gets one hour before a final vote.
Hrm, I’m fairly sure that those of us on the Left are upset that Filibuster Reform got watered down as it was, but honestly, it reminds me of the Public Option.
In that the votes weren’t there, were never there, and a majority leader looks really damn stupid putting something up for a vote that can’t pass.
See: John Boehner 4 weeks ago.
I don’t understand fake schoolgirl scent. I understand fake baby scent, though. I would buy blankets with baby scent and just inhale them when work sucks.
Okay, I’m female, but I don’t wanna be your FIG.
@NotMax: I once encountered Gingrich years ago (early 1996) in Pentagon City Mall. He was standing outside a store where his wife was shopping. A few people started pointing, and he whipped out a paperback and started to pretend to speed read it by running his finger across the page rapidly, and then turning the pages after a few passes. IIRC it was Toffler’s Future Shock. The incident cracks me up to this day.
@Sigh. “On cloture,” not “about cloture.”
As in: Debate will commence on Tuesday. That doesn’t mean the debate is about whether or not it is Tuesday.
If the Senate ever did debate whether it was Tuesday, it would be filibustered.
This crappy thread is 3 hrs old.
Reid did what his “Overlords” wanted. There is no way in hell they want any kind of populist ideas coming to the top. The shift is toward austerity, it’s what’s for dinner.
Fucking Sanders must be popping a vein in his lobe. I know I am.
This shit is such a joke, politics, Haaa!, what a laugh!
“Let’s wait and see what comes up”, that’s what fucking comes up.
Open your eyes apologists for sensible reforms.
Fresh crappy thread upstairs.
@NotMax: Looks like it’s big at Jaws.
@efgoldman: Nope, just fine.
North shore surf has been reported in weather forecasts as “EXTRAORDINARILY high” for some time now. That translates to over the 8 to 16 feet “dangerously high” level.
Should calm down over the weekend as wind shifts to the southeast, then return again Monday or Tuesday, along with showers.
@NotMax: Is Pe’ahi considered the North Shore?
Wikipedia: Peʻahi is a place on the north shore of the island of Maui in the U.S. state of Hawaii.
Ho’okipa (the windsurfers’ wet dream spot) is North shore as well. Webcam
WOW, this is a great thread. Discussing the North Shore, and it’s possible names.
Unreal, not really for this site anymore.
Got any Cat pics??
@NotMax: I went there when we did the Hana Highway, I know it faces north but I didn’t realize it was North Shore.
@FlipYrWhig: @Jim, Foolish Literalist: I asked Sen Leahy about how he would vote about the filibuster bill. He said he’d go along with the caucus, but that he preferred the Merkley version. If he’s struggling it’s because he wants it stronger, not because he doesn’t want it at all.
(reply better late than never?)
Kathy in St. Louis
I can’t think of one clever thing to say about this. It’s too pathetic to find much humor in it. If you can’t or have no interest in attracting a girlfriend, man up.