I was just sitting in the La-Z-Boy with dogs on my lap, relaxing, waiting for Kansas to destroy WVU at 9 on ESPN, when I took a paw to the head. After jumping up and dumping the dogs, I looked over, and this is what I saw:
I had no idea he was there, the stealthy fat bastard. I eagerly await one of you trying to tell me that is a look of love rather than complete contempt coming from him. To give you an idea how close to me this murderous and cantankerous feline was when he ambushed me, here is how close Tunch was to Admiral Adama’s head (that’s how I fancy myself at home, thank you very much), check this out:
Cat was all up in my grill and I didn’t even know, and the dogs didn’t warn me either. They are all working together, I know it.
schrodinger's cat
I are a serious cat, this is serious blog.
Alison
Hahahahahahahaha I love that cat :)
Scott S.
CHANGE THE CHANNEL, BIPED, I WANNA WATCH MY STORIES.
Gravenstone
Tunch is just reminding you about the actually pecking order in Casa de Cole.
JGabriel
John Cole:
What makes you think we’re not working with them?
.
jl
I read complete indifference. Tunch is contemplating higher things. Like food, maybe?
schrodinger's cat
Jabba the cat says bring me Solo and a cookie.
Baud
Damn, you got old people furniture, Cole.
ETA: Gotta admit, though, it looks real comfortable.
TheMightyTrowel
My childhood cat used to do the same thing to my dad. The cat would hide on the top bunk of my bed and as my dad walked in (or walked out) to kiss me goodnight the cat would stealthily reach out a paw and try to knock off my dad’s glasses. He succeeded nine times out of ten.
kindness
Comfy chairs John. You really need to look out for the Monty Python Comfy Chair torture routine.
schrodinger's cat
@Baud: Interior designer kitteh says this room needs more color.
Mnemosyne
So I survived Root Canal Part Deux today. I told the endodontist that I usually have a very sore jaw after procedures, so he gave me what he called a “tooth pillow,” which is apparently a happier-sounding euphemism for a bite block. It really did seem to help, though — my jaw is much less sore this time around.
(Basically, a lot of people get a sore jaw if they have to keep their mouth open for a long time, so the bite block lets you switch between using your “jaw opening” muscles and your “jaw closing” muscles since you can bite down on it when you get tired of keeping your jaw open. At least, that’s how he explained it to me.)
muddy
Clearly the sweet wee kitten was just giving you a loving pat, you beast.
Cacti
Hey Cole…
Your straight-talkin’ Republican mancrush Chris Christie just vetoed a minimum wage increase with 82% popular support.
Good thing he’s reasonable and moderate. Otherwise, this would be the move of any old corporate GOPer.
Felonious Wench
Have you provided the daily offerings of ahi tuna and organic catnip, picked fresh 2 hours before providing in a hand-knit yarn ball?
cathyx
That cat looks mad. That’s why he hit you. Pay attention to him.
yutsano
@schrodinger’s cat:
Adjusted for moar Tunchiness.
He is floofy. Also. Too.
Joseph Nobles
That was a cat-patented “You’re not paying attention to me, are you?” swipe. He’s helping you with basic reconnaissance skills.
Elie
My personal preferance is nitrous oxide and good local numbing of the gums around the “worksite”. The damned rubber dam and other bulky appliances that they put in my mouth, I think, are what make things sore. The actual root canal removes the nerve from the tooth itself, so there is only the pain of the shit that they do to the surrounding tissue and teeth. I have been fortunate. I think that the wonderful relaxation brought on by the nitrous helps the perfusion of the tissues and brings on a sense of wellbeing as I hum absently through the music in my headphones..
My husband, on the other hand, eschews all such civilizing treatments, preferring to grip the chair with white nuckled determination and a desire to remain “clear headed” throughout what can only be characterized as an “ordeal”.
Not me. Give me hot lights, cold steel and all biochemical assistance.
kdaug
Tunch was just recommending that you spool up the FTL’s and prep for jump.
Mnemosyne
It could have been worse — he could have curled around your head and started grooming you. And digging his claws in if you try to move.
Not that Charlotte ever does that or anything.
Baud
@schrodinger’s cat:
Yes! No wonder Tunch is beating up on Cole. It’s too drab for a cat of his breeding.
Maude
Tunch 1
Cole 0
muddy
@Cacti: Now there’s someone who should get his school lunch held back for bad behavior.
rikyrah
it’s his house…he lets you stay there and feed him
BWA HA HA HA HA HA H A
ulee
If Tunch wanted to ambush you, your scalp would be hanging by a thread and the Lazy Boy would be soaked in your blood. He just wants you to know he could if he wanted to.
Elie
BTW John, Tunch actually is showing you love and his expression is benign and indulgent of you, in my opinion. Trust me — cats that donot like you do not sit languidly and observe. They ACT on their feeling and you would not be comfortable with such a cat lazzing around on the back of your furniture.
Tunch looks great and totally centered with your bullshit
Mnemosyne
@Elie:
I have to drive a long way to see this endodontist (because I trust him, not because there aren’t others closer to me) so he’s reluctant to give me nitrous without having someone there to drive me home. But I know that he’s going to pump me full of novocaine and let me wear my headphones, so it’s no problem. Seriously, it’s about 7 hours after I was injected and I’m just getting the feeling back in my right ear.
The one time I did have nitrous, it didn’t do much for the pain of getting the novocaine injected, but it did make me not care that I was in pain. It was kinda weird.
Tim (The Other One)
That chair says Bill O’Reilly to me. Maybe with a Hungry Man dinner while watching.
burnspbesq
The paw-whack from Laettner generally means one of two things: either (1) “what do you mean playtime is over?” or (2) “what do you mean there’s no more cheese?” I would not rule out either possibility where Tunch is concerned.
burnspbesq
It wasn’t all that long ago that WVU was in the Final Four.
Huggins for Bielein was not an upgrade.
Anne Laurie
@TheMightyTrowel: Ha, one of our childhood cats used the top bunk as a perch to pee down the back of my adolescent brother’s neck!
She really, really liked that kid — it was a ‘stay away, this one’s mine, ladies’ move — but my brother did not take it well, for some reason.
Cole’s probably fortunate that Tunch is a straight male…
catclub
@Mnemosyne: Cat with sharpest tongue
loves grooming people with the thinnest hair.
Sounds like a saying of Charlie Chan
khead
That move is the “floofy smack”.
horatius
That’s not a cat. That’s a corporation.
Or at least one of the corporate fat-cats the Obama campaign was warning us about.
Tom S
You are paying too much attention to those stupid dogs. Sez our cat.
burnspbesq
@efgoldman:
I’m the polar opposite of a Huggy-Bear fan, but it has to be said that he plays by the rules and his players mostly graduate (albeit with degress in things like Exercise and Recreation Science). The only thing he has in common with Calipari seems to be bad hair.
The NCAA needs to sort its own shit out (allegations of impropriety by the team investigating Miami) before it gets back to sorting out others’ shit.
centerfielddj
My most beloved kitty cat, Leona, would react to my too-frequent-for-her newspaper reading by sitting in front of my chair and punching at the back of the paper. Got the paper held out in front, digging into page 5- *punch*! *punch*! *punch*! every 10 seconds or so. Eventually, I’d raise the paper higher to stop the harassment- *hop*! into my lap, Leona would, and immediately curl up and make herself at home.
Maybe Tunch wants sumthin’. That photo is fucking hilarious, tho.
muddy
@efgoldman: I was saying this fall that cats are Republicans because they have no concept of consent, well the consent of others, of course their consent can be withdrawn and blood let in a fraction of a second.
Dacia Mitchell
My cat does the exact same thing, if he knew how to feed himself without my help, I’d be long dead by now. Then after my death, he would howl and vomit all over the place out of despair.
PeakVT
Tunch looks like he is about to waste away compared to this cat.
General Stuck
I really love this story. It is the kind of magnanimous gesture from former bitter rivals, that can help the dem party become a solid favorite of most voters well into the future. Overall, except from a few internet quarters, I don’t recall the dem party, especially in congress being more on the same page, ideologically, and with a clear sense of who the enemy is, and a degree of subjugation of individual will for the common good of the party, that has historically been uncommon for democrats. The GOP is in some deep shit all the way round.
Raven
@burnspbesq: Everybody can’t be an asshole lawyer now can they?
Baud
@General Stuck:
Couldn’t agree more. For all the carping, the Democratic Party has not been this cohesive since FDR’s first term.
cokane
whos admiral adama
Alison
@General Stuck: I loved it too! Just such a great gesture that was totally not expected (by me, at least).
muddy
Don’t let Tunch sit on the foot of the recliner. My mastiff mix did that and it busted up all the works underneath. I’m imagining that Tunch and my dog are of similar weight.
General Stuck
@efgoldman:
Nonsense.
The Dangerman
I think that first look is “Catnip, motherfucker” (spoken in a Samuel L. Jackson tone).
Culture of Truth
YO HUMAN
YEAH YOU
muddy
@efgoldman: Bernie Sanders said it was bullshit and voted against.
Culture of Truth
WHO’S THE FAT BASTARD
Culture of Truth
@The Dangerman: Tunch: OH I’M SORRY DID I BREAK YOUR CONCENTRATION
General Stuck
@efgoldman:
There never was a chance of ‘whacking’ the filibuster, and for good reason. Harry was just managing the emo reactionaries of the left till the election was over. Apparently, that includes you.
Rosie Outlook
Thinkgeek.com is selling Cthulhu in Love perfume. Ia! Shub-Niggurath! Happy Valentine’s Day!
Emma
My kitty often tried to help me when I was using the Kindle Fire. As in “oh, so that’s how you change the page!” –SWIPE! Or, “there’s something moving in there!” –SWIPE!
burnspbesq
@Raven:
If you can’t do better than that, give up and go home.
Mnemosyne
Can you say “Puppy Bowl locker room live cam”? I think you can!
Narcissus
Every time you post about your personal life it occurs to me just how charmed an existence it is, Cole. I wonder how you’re not up to your elbows in tang, and then I read
and I stop wondering.
ET
I wanted to hug the kitty after the first picture. I miss mine.
Rosie Outlook
@Mnemosyne: When I looked at it, there was scattered poop, no pups, though I did hear barking off stage.
Upon pondering the perfume, I have decided that any man who brought me Cthulhu on Love would be thanked with the best night of his life before I sacrificed him to the Great Old Ones. If anyone actually buys this, please report back on how it smells. The bottle is just too adorable.
General Stuck
@efgoldman:
The republicans are starting to pay a price for their abuse of built in minority rights to our system. And the voters should be the ones to reign them in. Dems breaking rules to change the rules would only shift the spotlight of wingnuts behaving badly, onto scurrilous democrats cheating. If a scotus seat comes available, and the nutters try to filibuster , then I think Reid could safely nuke the filibuster for executive session, but not for legislation. Which is what the wingers were going to do years ago when Bush was president.
jrg
Anyone stuck in a rut playing guitar should try Rocksmith. It’s awesome.
Also, we should add an amendment that says you have the right to drink Clorox and cut your balls off. Then people like this would finally be out of the gene pool.
Mnemosyne
@Rosie Outlook:
I saw a puppy in the furthest-off dog bed, but it was sleeping. :-( I’m guessing there will be more activity in the morning. And less poop on the floor.
General Stuck
Here we go again. Brain dead republicans trying to gin up Skeetgate.
They pivot on a dime from Obama, Chicago street thug gangtsa, to whatever it is on their pea brains with this bullshit. Gun sissy, or something.
normal liberal
@Rosie Outlook: Cthulhu In Love sounds like your basic oriental with green notes. But I’ve never had much luck in teasing out the actual description from the atmospherics in Black Phoenix Alchemy fragrance notes.
I’m still going to buy it, of course. They also have a large inflatable Dalek I need , for a friend.
muddy
I love how the puppy sleeps with its front half hanging off the bed. Why do they do it? My dog is hanging upside down off the couch right now.
PurpleGirl
@cokane: A character from Battlestar Galactica; IIRC he is the lead military leader of the humans.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@General Stuck: “skeet-gate” will become one more right wing talk radio/internet shibboleth that they wave around while normal people smile politely and wonder what the fuck Uncle Frank is jibbering about now.
Culture of Truth
APOLOGY ACCEPTED, ADMIRAL ADAMA
Suzanne
You’re lucky. My Zelda will routinely attempt to sit on my shoulders and/or head when I try to sit down on the couch and enjoy some motherfucking peace and quiet. Right now, however, she’s lurking behind Mr. Suzanne. GOOD. NOT MY PROBLEM.
OTOH, I had a cat named Nico that I adopted as an adult, and I think she had had a hard life on the streets, and had some abuse. As a result, she would never sit ON anybody. She’d sit next to you, but never on your lap. I knew she loved me when she came up behind me and started licking my hair. She did that her whole life. That cat and I were one spirit. She died about six years ago and she set the standard for all cats for ever. Shit. Now I’m crying.
RobertDSC-iPhone 4
Love the Tunchinator. Thank you.
redshirt
Also, surprisingly, the inventor of the “Adama Maneuver”, which is supremely badass.
hitchhiker
@Anne Laurie:
When my main squeeze and I were dating (during Reagan’s first term, okay?) he had a darling old chubby cat who peed on whatever clothing he tossed to the floor on our merry way to the waterbed. Message clear: MINE!
Jim, Foolish Literalist
hmmmm…. Lawrence O’Donnell says Deval Patrick is scheduled to appear on his show after announcing Kerry’s replacement on Wednesday. As LO’D says, if he appoints someone not named Barney Frank, that would be an ugly interview.
eemom
That kitty, times 535, positioned over each seat in teh U.S. Capitol. Shit’d get done fer once.
22over7
@eemom:
No doubt. On the other hand, the cat box problem (not to mention the ahi tuna problem) would bring Washington to a complete standstill. How many of those Congressmen do you think have ever emptied a litter box?
Comrade Dread
How to tell if your cat is trying to kill you.
The answer in all cases is “Yes.”
The only thing separating a lion from your house cat is scale… though in Tunch’s case, he might might weigh the same as a lion.
amk
@General Stuck: That’s a lovely gesture from that kenyan muslin. Did you hear that, pumas?
Mnemosyne
@Comrade Dread:
We figured that out when we realized that whenever Keaton was play-attacking us, he would go for the joints, especially knees and elbows.
Of course, as a Maine Coon mix, Keaton is practically the size of a bobcat as it is.
jl
@Comrade Dread: Except when he is hopped up on the nip that Cole’s friend ships every year, Tunch seems to spend a lot of time lying around semi-comatose. I suppose that is some kind of sinister surveillance on the hapless Cole?
Sandia Blanca
A punch from Tunch!
max
waiting for Kansas to destroy WVU at 9 on ESPN, when I took a paw to the head.
You took a paw to the head. You poor thing.
See, when I go down to the basement to get tools or whatever, Matthew the half-feral kitty demands I pet him and if I stop, he runs over, sinks his claws into my leg and bites my foot. (The alternative version is where he uses my foot for a launch pad – that usually leaves bloody racing stripes across the top of my foot.)
A better version of this would be ‘Tunch batted me in the back of the head… and I TOTES FREAKED OUT.’
max
[‘You’ve gone and mixed up your pills again, haven’t you?’]
Mnemosyne
@hitchhiker:
I was thinking that you had a brave main squeeze on your hands if he was willing to have a cat and a waterbed, but then I remembered that in the Reagan years, declawing indoor cats was pretty standard and nobody really knew any better.
Comrade Dread
@max: I used to have a kitten that would ambush me every damn morning when I woke up at 5 am to go to work. I’d stumble out of bed, head for the shower, and kitty would leap from her hiding place, sink four paws of claws into my calf and bite. It would zip off before I even finished screaming the first profanity.
It’s other favorite means for trying to kill me involved trying to ‘show affection’ by rubbing up against my leg as I was walking, with the effect of tripping me.
In short, I’m a dog person now.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
I used to be a blogger like you, then I took a paw to the head.
lamh35
Man, new job, new work schedule, new town, new apartment, old friends and family…so much going on I’m finding it harder to read and post on blogs lately. I don’t have a routine down yet, but it’s only been 3 weeks, so no big deal. I suspect once I get some furniture up in here, it’ll be better. So far, just bare bones furnishings.
With my new earlier schedule, I’m finding that I can’t stay awake as long as I used to anymore. Either that or I’m just getting old. I’d like to think that 36 is NOT old, but my nephew (13) and my godson (16) tells me differently…LOL.
muddy
@Mnemosyne: I used to have a waterbed, and the cats would routinely pierce it. The worst part was that they were too small to make much water come out, so I’d get into a dry bed, and then find myself growing wetter as I lay there. I always had bicycle tube patches on hand.
Another cat was angry when I was packing boxes, so she kept peeing in my bed. In, not on. I’d only find out when I thrust my feet down to the bottom. She’d go under the covers so I didn’t see it ahead of time. Gods! They are assholes. Still, I don’t care to catch my own rodents.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
This is a sick fucking country.
SatanicPanic
@jrg:
OH I WANT THAT. Revenge on everyone who mocked my Guitar Hero skills.
geg6
If you’re from PA, especially Western PA, there is no better show than the Janine Orie and State Supreme Court Justice Joan Orie Melvin’s criminal trial going on right now. All while sister, former state senator Jane Orie, sits in a state prison. I’ve detested these bitches for years now and watching them go down like dominoes has been so much fun that, if I actually believed in a god or a heaven, I’d be convinced I was going to hell for it.
Always running around during campaigns, screaming about how they are the most moral of moral creatures, due to their totally Catholic educations. Of course, they probably just learned how to run a criminal conspiracy from their long education in Catholic institutions.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joan_Orie_Melvin
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Orie
PeakVT
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: The concepts of sympathy and empathy are not understood by wingnuts or libertarians.
mainmati
@Elie: Whoa, that was a stealth dental attack on an otherwise interesting cat blog.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
And does this sound to anyone like someone was thinking in terms of martyrdom?
PeakVT
French and Malian troops have retaken Timbuktu, though not before the Islamist rebels damaged priceless (non-wahhabi) Islamic cultural heritage.
manual
Sorry to hijack, but…
balloon juice front pagers: Please write something about the amazing Krugzilla’s polite takedown of morning joe http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036789/ns/msnbc_tv-morning_joe/
And Joe’s lame comeback
http://www.politico.com/story/2013/01/paul-krugman-vs-the-world-86822.html
muddy
Colbert just eviscerated Eric son of Eric, it was sweet.
Comrade Dread
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: One of these idiots is going to get himself shot by another gun-toting citizen who thinks he’s stopping a potential shooting.
SatanicPanic
@Comrade Dread: I won’t root for death, but injuries? I wish were a better human, but I’m not.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: that makes me sick, those people really are vile.
SatanicPanic
What did I do this time? FYWP
danielx
That look is one of murderous complete contempt.
It could be worse – a friend of mine has two male cats who, if they took a dislike to an overnight guest, expressed their dislike by peeing on the bed. While occupied by friend and guest, usually at six in the morning or thereabouts.
Guests addressed this way never came back.
Tonal Crow
You are completely mistaken. Tunch would take an AR-15 load for you any day. Or at least he’d arrange for Lily to take it for you.
Mnemosyne
@SatanicPanic:
Your link included the forbidden anatomical word for male genitalia.
Tonal Crow
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: The 2nd Amendment? You mean the Amendment that protects your right to possess a musket so long as you’re available for induction into the militia that protects your state from invasion?
Citizen_X
Pah. Feline amateur. At least the Cylons managed to gutshoot the guy.
Citizen_X
@Tonal Crow:
And that would be presently commanded by one Barack Hussein Obama?
Violet
I think we know who the real Admiral is in the Cole household. It isn’t John.
SatanicPanic
@Mnemosyne: Now that I think of it, there is an odd absence of that word on this blog.
katie5
There are now Valentine’s Day cards from your cat (that’s correct, not to your cat but from your cat). Hate to say that I bought one to give to SO. Remind him of the pecking order in the household.
BTW, why not expand from BJ calendars to VD cards from Tunch et al?
katie5
@Culture of Truth: Was hoping for Admiral Ackbar
asiangrrlMN
TUNCHIEEEEEEEE! He lurves you, Cole. He really, really lurves you! He’s such a goooood boy, yes he is!
::skritces Tunch between the ears::
@yutsano: WHERE WAS MY ALERT, YUTSY?!?
burnspbesq
@22over7:
That job will be delegated to a minority and/or female staffer.
Closeted epistemic (formerly Lojasmo)
@Cacti:
He also said he would sign a bill that phased it in over three years.
BUt since firebagging assholes don’t understand a complex story, I guess you missed that part, or are willfully ignoring it.
Asshole.
Trinity
Tunch is king!
Forum Transmitted Disease
Shit, I’ve been a cat owner most of your life. Contempt? He can’t wait to do it again and make the fat monkey dance. You’re not even his slave, you’re just there for his amusement.
BC
Hope you enjoyed the game, Cole. Was closer than it should have been.
jp7505a
Obviusly you belong on the back of the sofa and HE WHO MUST BE OBEYED belongs on the recliner. Simply who rules the roost!
JustRuss
Like all good plutocrats, Tunch realizes the help needs a good smack upside the head periodically. Don’t take it personal, Cole.
Fwiffo
John, it’s not that he wants to kill you. It’s that he wants you to know that he knows that he could kill you, if he had the inclination.
Cacti
@Closeted epistemic (formerly Lojasmo):
Sorry for not being adequately fair and balanced to BJ’s favorite Republican.
Gov. Straight Talk supports phasing in an increase that in 3-years will still be $0.25 less per hour than the one he vetoed now.
Funny that the definition of firebagger now extends to criticism of Republicans that Juicers like.
Ms. D. Ranged in AZ
Real cat or Cylon cat, you decide.
Bulworth
Tunch is some serious stealth