Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Second rate reporter says what?

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

White supremacy is terrorism.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / She got a playa for life, and that’s no bullshittin’

She got a playa for life, and that’s no bullshittin’

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I’m skeptical about the Jindmentum but the Rubmentum is for real, at least in terms of his having the backing of Republican elites. Nicole Wallace loves him like she loves ‘Pac:

He’s everything we need and more. He’s modern. He knows who Tupac is. He is on social media.

Steve M finds an amazing “beer primary” NYT mag fluff piece on the charismatic, young Tea Party rock star:

“I’ve never psychoanalyzed it, man.” Senator Marco Rubio says. “I just like football. We all like something, right?” Well, yes, we do, but we all don’t watch N.F.L. coaches’ film or study long-snapping techniques and binders full of predraft player data.

Rubio, 41, is legitimate, a serious fan who not only can name the Dolphins’ long snapper (John Denny) but can also tell you that an N.F.L. long-snapper must get the ball to the holder in seven-tenths of a second.

And many are now asking: how tall is Marco Rubio? Different internets give different answers so far. Reader K suggest that now that the “Christie is too fat” thing has run its course, we’d be wise to get on the “Rubio is too short” bandwagon.

Reader Interactions

116Comments

  2. 2.

    Corner Stone

    “Rubmentum” ?
    I think you should probably spell it either Rubementum or Roobmentum.
    And regarding being “legit”, knowing the name of a long snapper is like knowing who does your IT service level agreements. It only matters when something is really fucked up bigtime.
    But don’t quote me boy, cuz I ain’t said shit.

  4. 4.

    Jewish Steel

    “I’ve never psychoanalyzed it, man.” SenatorBeat Poet Marco Rubio says. “I just like football. We all like something, right?”

  5. 5.

    Some Guy

    Wallace’s insight is just the kind if deep thinking that gave us Sarah Palin and shows you just how fucked Republicans are. They lost all ability to see the forest for the trees long ago.

  7. 7.

    Cacti

    @Valdivia:

    I would say it is more that his hair is thinning so by 2016 he will have a wrap-around worthy of the Donald.

    +1

    The last bald man elected POTUS was a 5-star, WWII general.

  8. 8.

    Valdivia

    @SatanicPanic:

    I really don’t think so. Even more when the guy is so young (he looks younger than he is) and balding.

    That Wallace quote is truly epic. It should be a tag. I am sure they will use Tupac’s hologram in an interview next.

  11. 11.

    Corner Stone

    And I see Steven Seagal is working with Arpaio to train school posses. In the picture he’s wearing what looks like a kaffiya (maybe?). Which leads one to wonder if the newly trained posse will turn on him as a terrst sympathizer.

  12. 12.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    I’m trying to figure out how even a second-string Bush courtier can figure that people are going to suddenly embrace the voucherization of Medicare because Marco Rubio tweets about Tupac.

    I don’t fear the Rubio. I’m willing to be convinced I’m wrong, ready for anything in a world where Dumbya was reelected and Condi Rice has a 65% approval rating, but I really don’t see this guy as ever being more than he is now.

  16. 16.

    Robin G.

    The GOP’s expectation of success with Rubio is rooted in an assumption that the Latino community will vote for anyone with brown skin, regardless of party or policy. They also thought that women would vote for Sarah Palin in vaginal solidarity, rather than listen to what the nutjob was saying.

    In other words, the GOP leadership is full of idiots.

  17. 17.

    EconWatcher

    Rubio seems like a lightweight who won’t make it under pressure and scrutiny. Of course, W was a lightweight in the extreme, but he never would have gone anywhere without the family muscle. Not aware of Rubio having that kind of juice, from any source.

  19. 19.

    Yutsano

    @Cacti: Eisenhower at least had the dignity to shave it all off. I don’t think Rubio has anywhere near enough class to do that.

    And if you think a brown, even if he is Cuban, will get past the teatard racist crazies, I want what you’re smoking.

    @Mike E: Oh dear. Miss Lyndsey is quite put out still. Someone get him a power top stat please.

  21. 21.

    El Caganer

    So Rubio’s supposed to be the kinda guy I can watch football with? Fuck him. Fuck the Dolphins, too.

  22. 22.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Mike E: among all the other infuriating aspects of that story, we can’t even get rid of fucking one-Senator holds?

  23. 23.

    EconWatcher

    By the way, we’re not too far off from the 20th anniversary of Tupac’s death, so the idea that he’s the touchstone for what the kids are up to is kind of silly, isn’t it?

  24. 24.

    Ultraviolet Thunder

    @EconWatcher:

    Rubio seems like a lightweight who won’t make it under pressure and scrutiny. Of course, W was a lightweight in the extreme, but he never would have gone anywhere without the family muscle. Not aware of Rubio having that kind of juice, from any source.

    Whoever the money gets behind will be the nominee. Qualifications be damned.

    Height, on the other hand, is an issue. Presidents are tall guys for various reasons. HRC running might nullify that disadvantage of Marco’s.

  25. 25.

    JoyceH

    @Robin G.:

    The GOP’s expectation of success with Rubio is rooted in an assumption that the Latino community will vote for anyone with brown skin, regardless of party or policy.

    I knooooow! And do they even understand that there is some significant resentment among Mexican-Americans about the unparalleled great deal Cubans get on immigration? “Make it here and you can stay.” Granted, the Rubios, we know now, came here before the Cuban Revolution, but if we’re going strictly by identity politics, he IS Cuban-American, which might not gain him points with Mexican-Americans.

    Mexican-Americans make up 65% of US Latinos. Cuban-Americans, around 4%. So strictly going by identity politics, Rubio might even turn out to be a net negative for the GOP among Latinos.

  27. 27.

    Ultraviolet Thunder

    @JoyceH:

    So strictly going by identity politics, Rubio might even turn out to be a net negative for the GOP among Latinos.

    If the GOP goes any more negative with Latinos they’ll be bussing in from Juarez to vote against them.

  28. 28.

    Hill Dweller

    @EconWatcher:

    Rubio seems like a lightweight who won’t make it under pressure and scrutiny.

    It took Brennan all of thirty seconds to make Rubio look stupid during his confirmation hearing last week.

  29. 29.

    quannlace

    with Rubio is rooted in an assumption that the Latino community will vote for anyone with brown skin,

    Well sure. The GOP is certain the only reason black people voted for Obama is because…you know.
    ****
    Wow, he’s modern AND on social media? He’s reals-ville, baby!

  30. 30.

    SatanicPanic

    @Valdivia: How out of touch does your party have to be for someone just knowing about the best rapper ever to be a mark of being in-the-know?

    That’s like saying “he knows basketball! Larry Byrd! Michael Jordan!”

  31. 31.

    Corner Stone

    @EconWatcher:

    By the way, we’re not too far off from the 20th anniversary of Tupac’s death

    And I’ve got a bridge to sell you, too. It’s actually the one he’s been living under this whole time. Shhhhh.

  32. 32.

    FlipYrWhig

    They’re transparently looking for someone with whom they can replicate the meteoric rise of Obama. I don’t think it’s going to work. If Newt Gingrich is a stupid person’s idea of what a smart person sounds like, Marco Rubio is a desperately uncool person’s idea of what a cool person sounds like. To me Rubio looks and sounds like every College Republican I’ve ever known, only 50% more handsome and 10% more tan.

  33. 33.

    Corner Stone

    @Ultraviolet Thunder:

    Height, on the other hand, is an issue. Presidents are tall guys for various reasons.

    So they can see the passing lanes over the heads and shoulders of their offensive linemen?

  34. 34.

    Joel

    Rubby is peaking too early, in my mind. If he lasts in the public eye for two more years then we can talk.

  37. 37.

    Corner Stone

    If anyone is watching Heat Seekers on Cooking Channel right now, this dish is making my colon form blisters just looking at it.
    They’re at a restaurant in DC that serves Indian cuisine and this chef just layered on some whack ass shit, yo.

  39. 39.

    Mike E

    @FlipYrWhig: This.

    Similarly, only Big Dog could pull off the whole DLC/DINO co-opting of GOP “ideas” and has an impeachment to show for it. Maybe the single greatest politician we’ll ever see.

    And the GOP have….what?

  40. 40.

    mouse tolliver

    @Robin G.:

    The GOP’s expectation of success with Rubio is rooted in an assumption that the Latino community will vote for anyone with brown skin, regardless of party or policy.

    But that’s the thing. Marco Rubio is white! The gay valet from Downton Abbey looks more Hispanic than Rubio does. He wouldn’t have to worry about a “show me your papers” law, because he looks Scottish. He doesn’t even have an accent. I know some Republican strategists do seem to think Rubio is an automatic win on the optics alone. But no.

  42. 42.

    MikeBoyScout

    The probability that any Rethug can win shall always be too high as long as they continue to espouse what they do, and as long as that probability is greater than zero, but
    if Rubio is one of their leading hopefuls, I like our odds against that empty suit.

  44. 44.

    22over7

    @FlipYrWhig:

    Oh, hell, they’re ALWAYS looking for that. I remember when it was supposed to be Dan Quayle.

    Snort.

    Their bench is very thin, and there’s nothing they can do about it.

    So I googled “Marco Rubio height” and got the official number at 5′ 10″, and reports from people who’ve actually been in a room with him and say 5′ 6″ or 7″ tops. That’s a Dukakis-sized problem right there.

  46. 46.

    MikeJ

    @mouse tolliver:

    Marco Rubio is white! The gay valet from Downton Abbey looks more Hispanic than Rubio does.

    Hispanic isn’t actually a race, you know. There are white hispanics, black hispanics, and native American hispanics.

    Which has made it hard to get good numbers for how many hispanic people are in the US. Some will happily identify as “Hispanic” when asked their race. Some will insist on being called white (or black or native American). That;’s why the census now explicitly asks about “Hispanic origin regardless of race.”

  49. 49.

    Alison

    Funny how Rubio listening to rap is apparently a good thing for him, but Obama even mentioning a rap artist’s name scares the bejeesus out of them.

    GEE I WONDER WHY.

  51. 51.

    bemused

    The GOP has nobody. There is no Reagaknight in shining armor. Their voters will still roll out the carpet for any Republican, eventually, with grumbling, but they will do it.

  52. 52.

    schrodinger's cat

    Too early to start speculating about the Presidential race. It won’t be Rubio. He is not going to win over the crazy 27%. I think it will be the blue eyed boy of the Beltway media or Rick Santorum.

  55. 55.

    nancydarling

    @Valdivia: I might be impressed if she was talking about the first Tupac. I’m not so impressed that Rubio knows who the namesake is.

  56. 56.

    Valdivia

    @FlipYrWhig:

    bingo! they really think Rubio is their Obama. As if right?
    also–coolness is not what makes Obama Obama. This is where they just fail to get it, like they did with Palin. Thinking her gender was the only thing that mattered.

  62. 62.

    Bruuuuce

    Atrios KILLS the “aware of Tupac” thing:

    There’s always a hipster coolcat Daddy-o Republican, hep to the ways of the younger people, and a Real American manly man’s man to boot.

    Tupac died 17 years ago. Being impressed that Rubio is aware of him is like being impressed if Ronald Reagan, in 1980, had heard of Patsy Cline, who died in 1963.

  64. 64.

    Suzanne

    He knows who Tupac is.

    The EPIC FAIL of this is truly astounding.

    People generally vote in their self-interest, be that economic or social. Dumbass Wallace needs to try to convince me that Tupac’s Best Homie is going to do something for me.

  65. 65.

    askew

    @FlipYrWhig:

    If Newt Gingrich is a stupid person’s idea of what a smart person sounds like, Marco Rubio is a desperately uncool person’s idea of what a cool person sounds like.

    That sums up Rubio perfectly.

  66. 66.

    trollhattan

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    I think the crazy train will wreck for good in ’14 and they’ll run some inoffensive Republican governor in ’16. Not middle of the road politically, mind, but somebody who does warmish and kinda fuzzy.

  69. 69.

    IowaOldLady

    It’ll be interesting to see if Rubio escapes the Pretend State of the Union speech curse, especially since it will be followed by Rand Paul giving the Pretend Pretend one. It’s hard to look powerful and serious enough to be president when viewers just saw the real president giving the real S of the U.

  72. 72.

    trollhattan

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Lessee, I think he was “born here” so he could be Christie’s running mate, setting aside all concerns about Christie’s girth, simply by contrast.

    “Munch ‘n Tunch ’16–feel the thunder!”

  77. 77.

    Mike in NC

    @GregB: I think I read someplace that the person running History Channel has a thing for White Trash reality shows, which would go a long way to explain their current and upcoming lineup.

  78. 78.

    IowaOldLady

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    I recently had a macaroon filled with bittersweet chocolate and cystalized ginger. It was unbelievably good. If you have a lot of ginger, you might want to crystalize it so it keeps and then find some chocolate-ginger recipes.

  83. 83.

    Doug Galt

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    I always freeze it, it grates better that way.

    These days, my girlfriend is a vegetarian, which pretty much makes me a vegetarian, and most edible vegetarian food seems to involve ginger.

  86. 86.

    aimai

    What the? Premature posting. Sorry for the.

    @aimai:

    What I meant to say was that I couldn’t agree more with Joel’s post. Rubio is “peaking too early” for sure. People with actual histories, resumes, and meaningful heroic actions and policies get shoved aside politically all the time. This guy literally has nothing more than the Romney head of hair (apparently on loan and temporary), the fit man’s tan, and an ability to bullshit about manly pop culture stuff. That is going to get old and be forgotten faster than Republican memories of the last drubbing they took. There will be some other plausible rogue in about four to six months, let alone two years.

  87. 87.

    aimai

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    If its young and tender you can crystalize it. You can also shave it and pickle it. You can make ginger beer, ginger tea, and you can grind it with a little water in a blender and freeze it in the ice cube tray for using when you want to make curry.

  89. 89.

    cckids

    “He’s modern, he knows who Tupac is?” Seriously? I mean, I’m a 50-year-old whitey McWhiterson woman, lived most of my life in frickin Nebraska, & I know who Tupac is. That is not truly some sort of “with-it” knowledge, is it? Republicans are so sad.

  90. 90.

    Anne Laurie

    @Joel:

    Rubby is peaking too early, in my mind. If he lasts in the public eye for two more yearspast his ‘State of the Union rebuttal’ Tuesday then we can talk.

    Remember when Bobby Jindal was the GOP’s Great Not-Pasty Hope?

  92. 92.

    Anne Laurie

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    I think it will be the blue eyed boy of the Beltway media or Rick Santorum.

    The GOP historically picks the previous runner-up for its presidential contendor, and that’s Santorum. Romney bought the nomination fair&square — by Repub definitions of f&s — but Santorum had the shriveled hearts of the GOP primary voters. One way or another, he’s going to be in the 2016 mix… and I don’t see him taking second chair behind The Young Hispanic Hope, or Dixie’s Last Best Blue-Eyed Hope Rand Paul either.

    I’m kinda figuring Rubio & Rand will batter each other to a standstill contending for the Young Gun spot, and then Paul ‘Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver’ Ryan will ooze into the gap.

    The more the Media Village bloviates whether Hillary Clinton / Joe Biden may be “too old” to handle the rigors of the Presidency, the more you can figure the GOP is hoping for an “All About Eve” election in 2016…

  93. 93.

    schrodinger's cat

    I don’t think immigration is reform is going to pass. It is a bitter pill that the base does not want to swallow. There will be two sticking points. How to handle future flows of immigrants and the path to citizenship for the people already here, who are without status.

  94. 94.

    Corbin Ramos

    The root word for Rubio is Rube. He’s an entirely predictable, transparent “token” Hispanic the GOP trots out to prove the party isn’t racist, white-supremacist, anti-immigrant, angry, antiquated, stodgy, and out of touch. The GOP is all those things and much worse. Rubio is the proverbial wolf in sheep’s clothing. He’s the stealth Cuban sent into the belly of the beast (D.C.) to try to fool the masses. Every time Rubio raises his insincere, cynical cabeza, someone needs to slap him down like Whack-a-Mole. The GOP has its token African-Americans too, of course. Alan Keyes, Allen West, Herman Cain, Ken Blackwell, and Colin Powell are just a few gems that have, no pun intended, gone over to the dark side. But, the massive new demographic that just handed Obama the White House is…Latinos. Cue salsa music and…enter, Senator Rubio! Perfect timing, GOP. But, your undeniable record of bigotry, hatred of minorities, blind rage against people of color, gerrymandering, voter suppression, misogyny and “the southern strategy” cannot be so easily swept under history’s rug. It’s going to take much much more than a hood ornament like Rubio to convince voters that the GOP is anything other than what it is: the ossified, angry party of yesteryear. It is precisely that and is not about to really change. Even Lindsey Graham said, “there just aren’t enough angry white guys” for the GOP to win elections. He’s correct. And, good riddance. We need to drive the GOP/conservatives into the oil-slicked sea and drown them. Hillary in 2016!

  95. 95.

    mds

    @Cacti:

    The last bald man elected POTUS was a 5-star, WWII general.

    Don’t worry. If need be, come 2015, Rubio will be claiming he’s a 5-star, WWII general, and Politico and the rest of the Beltway media will repeat it endlessly as if it were true.

  96. 96.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Anne Laurie: One of the funniest things about the last GOP primary was the sheer panic when it looked like Santorum might have had a shot at the nomination– that crack about Kennedy caused huge sighs of relief, I’d bet. As a Democrat, I’m hoping he gets back in next time around. I don’t think Paulie Blue Eyes will ever be ready for prime time. He’s peaked, next stop: Guest hosting the Hannity program. Christie’s inner bully is a bigger problem than his physique; he has control over one of those, not the other. My money’s on a grey flannel suit like Thune or Daniels.

    On our side: I love Joe Biden, but I just don’t see him winning a primary, even without Hillary in the mix. Cuomo leaves me yawning. If I had to bet: Clinton-O’Malley, or maybe Clinton-Hickenlooper.

  99. 99.

    terry buckalew

    Reminds me of what a ‘hep cat’ Paul Ryan was ’cause he liked Led Zeppelin. Somebody then pointed out that Robert Plant is 65 years old-about the age of Mittens Romney.

  100. 100.

    terry buckalew

    Reminds me of what a ‘hep cat’ Paul Ryan was ’cause he liked Led Zeppelin. Somebody then pointed out that Robert Plant is 65 years old-about the age of Mittens Romney.

  105. 105.

    jamick6000

    I’m skeptical about the Jindmentum but the Rubmentum is for real

    Rube-mentum is how the conservative movement generates most of its energy, though a lot of it is lost to heat.

  106. 106.

    David Koch

    Doug, I’m surprised with you.

    you missed it. It’s not that Rubio is too short (he is), it’s that he’s too balding.

    America will never vote for someone with a receding hairline (notwithstanding Ike, he wore a helmet).

  107. 107.

    TriassicSands

    Jindmentum?

    Jindal’s approval is now below 50% in Louisiana. He fell from 64% to 51% in a relatively short time (and it wasn’t in response to his glorious SOTU response). It seems that the radical nature of Jindal’s policies may be sinking in. Apparently, Bobby doesn’t thing Louisiana has enough poor people, or at least that the poor people it has aren’t poor enough, since he wants to replace the state’s income tax with a highly regressive sales tax. I know a little about regressive tax systems, since I live in Washington, the state with the most regressive tax system in the US (hint — no state income tax and a big old sales tax).

    He’s screwing up lots of things with his lunatic fringe philosophy. The GOP’s elite may like or even love him, but it appears his own residents have fallen out of love.

    In a classic case of All-American numbskullery, a majority of Louisianans don’t like Obamacare, but neither do the support Jindal’s decision to opt out the Medicaid expansion.

  110. 110.

    Odder

    One suggestion for ginger I haven’t seen here yet is to peel, cut into chunks and store it in a jar covered/preserved with dry sherry or vermouth. Refrigerate and use as needed for savory dishes– both the ginger and the liquid as appropriate.

  111. 111.

    Lolly

    @IowaOldLady:

    On the “pretend pretend SOU:”

    I wonder if Obama and his speechwriters will work in a little dig on that?

    Not a Romneyesque zinger, just a little something to emphasize the ridiculousness.

  112. 112.

    pattonbt

    The Republicans are stupid for trotting Rubio out now (how forced is that decision and lame as lame gets with all the “diversity” issues they are having). “Oh noes, we have a Latino problem. Lets run out the only Latino we know. That’ll show em!”. Could you pander harder?

    And Rubio is equally stupid for accepting. If he cant see the current lame attempts by his party to “change the face” and “not the message” and how silly it looks to everyone not in the bubble, then he is in for a world of hurt. Hello Bobby Jindal 2 Cuban Boogaloo.

    Rubio’s best option is to work the sides over the next two years. Get some camera time looking “not stupid” (though that may be a tough task for him) and gary his hair a bit. Then late 2014 / early 2015 start the carnival show for 2016. Rube-memtum has to be organic or it wont work. A tough act for a politician to pull off for sure, but if you are going to run as a token (or take advantage of the token card), you cant be pushed onto the scene in an act of panic.

    Those who are saying “peaking early” regards to Rubio are spot on.

  114. 114.

    Bulworth

    He’s modern.

    Too bad his party isn’t.

    He knows who Tupac is.

    I thought PBO was teh evil for having Common and other hip hop peoples at The People’s House?

    He is on social media.

    Got a Twitter account? You’re hired.

  115. 115.

    theod

    Nicole Williams’ comment reminds me of one of the stated rationales for Dan Quayle for VP. Because of his relative youth and good looks he was seen as appealing to the youth (20-40yrs) vote, and more specifically the younger women’s vote. Image is everything for these people.

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