• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Well, whatever it is, it’s better than being a Republican.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

The arc of the moral universe does not bend itself. it is up to us to bend it.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

This fight is for everything.

Fundamental belief of white supremacy: white people are presumed innocent, minorities are presumed guilty.

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Every decision we make has lots of baggage with it, known or unknown.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

It’s a good piece. click on over. but then come back!!

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

The republican caucus is covering themselves with something, and it is not glory.

Hey hey, RFK, how many kids did you kill today?

President Musk and Trump are both poorly raised, coddled 8 year old boys.

We will not go quietly into the night; we will not vanish without a fight.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

Conservatism: there are people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

The unpunished coup was a training exercise.

People are complicated. Love is not.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Mobile Menu

  • Seattle Meet-up Post
  • 2025 Activism
  • Targeted Political Fundraising
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Meetups / A good saloon in every single town

A good saloon in every single town

by DougJ|  February 11, 20136:26 am| 124 Comments

This post is in: Meetups, Readership Capture

FacebookTweetEmail

Hope you DC people can make it to the meet-up tonight. It will be at Carpool in Arlington, near Ballston metro stop at 7:30 pm. Hopefully, someone will bring a balloon this time. I’ll have on gray-checked pants and a blue sweater. I look like a less woozy former Congressman Patrick Kennedy.

Also too, what’s up with the Pope resigning?

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Early Monday Morning Open Thread
Next Post: New World Order »

Reader Interactions

124Comments

  1. 1.

    Amir Khalid

    February 11, 2013 at 6:37 am

    ONw has to wonder, what of the nest pope? Will he continue with Benedict’s conservatism, or break from it? Will he finally do something about the Church’s centuries-long issue of shielding clergy who sexually abuse women and children? As a successor to two popes named John Paul, will he do the right thing and take the name George Ringo I?

  2. 2.

    Raven

    February 11, 2013 at 6:38 am

    The man on the radio won’t leave me alone
    He wants to take my money for something I’ve never been shown. . .

  3. 3.

    RosiesDad

    February 11, 2013 at 6:42 am

    His complicity in the Sandusky scandal is about to come to light.

  4. 4.

    Brandon

    February 11, 2013 at 6:44 am

    Probably could have done better than Carpool, while it lacks charm it gains points for being spacious and convenient. I’m a fan of Rocklands too, so at least you’ve got some decent bbq offerings. But of course everyone has had better, just enjoy it and don’t compare.

    As for the Pope in Rome, that is a serious WTF moment. I have no clue but can only guess that a seriously big shoe is about to drop. Either that or he is just totally dispirited from the gay marriage thing in both the US and UK, as well as Obama’s reelection and just cannot bring himself to do anything other than hit F5 at The Corner/Brietbart/HotAir and post angry rants at FreeRepublic.

    But maybe, just maybe, he needs the time to go and build himself a bunker to prepare for the end of days? As the embodiment of god himself on this earth, you have to wonder if the big fella tipped him off about something?

  5. 5.

    GTO

    February 11, 2013 at 6:46 am

    too bad pope pervert is still alive. he will be getting raped by demons soon enough i guess.

  6. 6.

    Raven

    February 11, 2013 at 6:47 am

    Thanks for the lyric, I never realized Gram didn’t write it!

  7. 7.

    Baud

    February 11, 2013 at 6:50 am

    I hope the next pope knows who Tupac was.

  8. 8.

    Raven

    February 11, 2013 at 6:52 am

    @Brandon: Complain and then tell people not to compare? Sheesh.

  9. 9.

    evap

    February 11, 2013 at 6:53 am

    I just returned from that area yesterday. Looks like there’s chance I will be moving to Arlington in August (temporarily), so I hope to join the next such gathering!

  10. 10.

    Knockabout

    February 11, 2013 at 7:00 am

    Better question is will Zandar resign before the Pope does.

    I’ll take the the under on that.

  11. 11.

    Brandon

    February 11, 2013 at 7:04 am

    @Raven: I said I was a fan of the bbq, but I was just trying to keep expectations in check. Unless you have immaculate standards for you bbq, you won’t be disappointed.

    And speaking of immaculate, the Guardian says that bookmakers have the Ghanian Cardinal Peter Turkson as the odds on favorite to replace Ratzinger. I’m still putting my money on Jeremy Irons though. How awesome would that be?

  12. 12.

    scav

    February 11, 2013 at 7:07 am

    While I would love for there to be a really big red slipper teetering over St. Peter’s, I don’t know if anyone’s been good enough. Maybe he thinks this as is a good time to get a younger reactionary in before things get things get even dicier for the holy concervative church? Hard to say. I can’t see these cardinals suddenly going all VII-nostalgic, especially with a still extant ex-pontiff running about far far from the fjords. And although I think the African churches are pretty solid in the extreme end, I don’t think we’ve even been good enough for the first non-European reactionary pontiff. Althoug that might just get me to consider living in an age of current miracles, a pontif from Kenya.

  13. 13.

    scav

    February 11, 2013 at 7:08 am

    @Brandon: ghanian! I will die happy.

  14. 14.

    MikeJ

    February 11, 2013 at 7:10 am

    The next pope will be chosen by the same people that chose this pope. Benny Ratz is the pope because that’s the kind of guy they wanted in charge. Sadly, they are not going to pick a black lesbian to take over.

  15. 15.

    Schlemizel

    February 11, 2013 at 7:12 am

    @Raven:

    I met up with the kingPope On his head an amphetamine crown He talked about unbuckling that old Bible belt

  16. 16.

    Cermet

    February 11, 2013 at 7:12 am

    As for the poop pope, this is, at least, good news that the utterly foul piece of garbage will leave office. Very likely that yet another pedophile protecting asswipe will be shit out by the conclave of ass licking cardinals, but at least this monster will soon be food for worms.

  17. 17.

    The Ancient Randonneur

    February 11, 2013 at 7:13 am

    Also too, what’s up with the Pope resigning?

    Perks aren’t what they used to be. I hear it’s a shortage of altar boys that was the last straw.

  18. 18.

    southern Beale

    February 11, 2013 at 7:17 am

    Just heard the Pope is resigning. I didn’t know they can do that.

  19. 19.

    Nemo_N

    February 11, 2013 at 7:19 am

    How long before someone blames Obama for the papal resignation?

  20. 20.

    Brandon

    February 11, 2013 at 7:19 am

    @scav: I personally really doubt that they can pick an African pope. Just thinking about Italy for a second, which has lingering issues with racism and those attitudes are mostly held by those of whom would be the largest constituency for the church. I just don’t see how such an appointment could be accepted within the Italian laity and if the Italians don’t accept it, it sort of hurts the legitimacy of the church across the globe. Can you imagine people making monkey gestures and throwing bananas at the popemobile? I can.

  21. 21.

    Brandon

    February 11, 2013 at 7:22 am

    @Nemo_N: I was thinking the same thing. I don’t scour conservative websites, its why I read Balloon Juice. They do it for me. But I may just monitor the crazy web on this one because I seriously want to see the craziest conspiracy theory about how Obama was involved in all of this.

  22. 22.

    dmsilev

    February 11, 2013 at 7:23 am

    @Nemo_N: Is the nominee for next Pope vulnerable to a Republican filibuster?

  23. 23.

    J.D. Rhoades

    February 11, 2013 at 7:25 am

    He wants to spend more time with his family?

  24. 24.

    EconWatcher

    February 11, 2013 at 7:25 am

    The statement the Pope released hinted at some kind of mental degeneration; he may have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or dementia.

    I’m no fan of the pope, but realizing that you’re mentally losing it (and will never get it back) is one of the greatest horrors this life has to offer. I’ve seen it up close with an older lawyer who was a mentor and then with my dad.

    I try not to think about when my turn will come. Or hope for a well-timed and massive coronary event, when I’ve gotten to the point where it’s not worth it any more.

  25. 25.

    Raven

    February 11, 2013 at 7:25 am

    @Brandon: Roger

  26. 26.

    scav

    February 11, 2013 at 7:27 am

    @Brandon: I thought we weren’t good enough, although the center of demographic mass of the church is leaving /has left Europe so they may decide it’s time, Italians or no Italians. I was speculating theoretically and based on dramatic effect. Argue with the bookmakers, they’re the ones that threw the curve of laying such odds outside of a movie set.

  27. 27.

    magurakurin

    February 11, 2013 at 7:30 am

    @Brandon:

    Can you imagine people making monkey gestures and throwing bananas at the popemobile? I can.

    Wasn’t that in Spain?

    Not to say it couldn’t happen.

  28. 28.

    Robert Sneddon

    February 11, 2013 at 7:31 am

    Wild-assed speculation here but terminal illness is the most likely reason for this resignation announcement. Benedict 16 (Ratzinger’s official Papal title but not one that caught on widely for some reason) is over 80 and never looked particularly well even before he ascended to the Papal Throne. The usual deal is that Popes die in harness and only after they are safely dead does God officially get round to replacing them via the Instrument of his Will, the decadent and corrupt College of Cardinals Assembled.

    Resigning before dying lets ex-Pope Ratzinger play kingmaker. He’s a hands-on dictator type and dying without being able to personally select his replacement would really chap his ass; it’s not like he could trust that liberal pinko God character to do what He’s told, after all.

  29. 29.

    magurakurin

    February 11, 2013 at 7:31 am

    @Knockabout:

    Boss, you got issues. Get some help.

  30. 30.

    magurakurin

    February 11, 2013 at 7:34 am

    @southern Beale:

    Just heard the Pope is resigning. I didn’t know they can do that.

    What I want to know is after he resigns, is he still infallible? Or does he lose that super power? How do you go from being the Messenger of God, to just another schmuck at the bingo game?

  31. 31.

    scav

    February 11, 2013 at 7:38 am

    @magurakurin: speaking of football racism, check out the Israelis..

  32. 32.

    Schlemizel

    February 11, 2013 at 7:38 am

    @Robert Sneddon:

    Its been 700 years since one of these guys has left of his own free will so Benny the Ratz certainly is making a splash with his exit.

    I think, like all very large bureaucracy there is an internal power structure that already has these things plotted out. The next ass to warm the big chair is either already chosen or is being decided now through horse-trading and/or skillfully placed stilettos in the back. If Simon Bar Sinister’s doppelganger has a say its only because he has loyal aide who can insert the blade cleanly for him.

  33. 33.

    Obliterati

    February 11, 2013 at 7:40 am

    I agree with Sneddon, B16 is dying and he wants to make sure he gets to hand the tiara to some toe-the-line bootlicker who will continue to play the “Pedos? Here? Who?” game.

    I do think there is a small but non-trivial chance he won’t get his wish. The very fact that he’s resigning, which is damn near historically unprecedented, is proof that there is a real threat of electing a reformer…

  34. 34.

    amk

    February 11, 2013 at 7:43 am

    mebbe prada needed a sales boost and made ratzi, the natzi to quit ?

  35. 35.

    Brandon

    February 11, 2013 at 7:45 am

    @magurakurin: Its all across Europe really and the expressions of football ultras is just the public incarnation of the conservative views of many Europeans who are deeply xenophobic and yes, racist. A clear example happened just last week when Paolo Berlusconi, brother of Silvio and VP of Silvio’s football club AC Milan was caught on tape commenting on their most recent signing Mario Balotelli (who is Ghanaian by birth, but adopted by an Italian family and raised his whole life in Italy). He called Balotelli, “the family’s little n*****”. Seriously.

  36. 36.

    JoyceH

    February 11, 2013 at 7:53 am

    @EconWatcher:

    he may have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or dementia.

    That’s what I was thinking too. It’s probably happened before sometime in the past six centuries, but we can diagnose it now, and Alzheimer’s patients, through no fault of their own, can become disruptive, hostile, and embarrassing – which isn’t a good look for God’s Infallible Messenger On Earth.

  37. 37.

    Schlemizel

    February 11, 2013 at 8:05 am

    @JoyceH:

    I would assume given the age most of these bozos live to they all suffer from dementia but are protected and carried by their staffs. Maybe its the world-wide availability that now exists; the instant TV visions make hiding in the Vatican immpossible

  38. 38.

    Cassidy

    February 11, 2013 at 8:06 am

    @Knockabout: Nope, the better question is how do you survuve the dehydration that comes with your massive, non stop wanking every few weeks when Zandar posts?

  39. 39.

    Brandon

    February 11, 2013 at 8:06 am

    @Raven: In a telling story of how out of the loop I am on these things, apparently Rocklands BBQ is no longer operating at Carpool and hasn’t done so for years. I apologize for getting anyone’s hopes up and please disregard my previous comments on the matter. I have no idea what the food is like at Carpool now. Man, I need to get out more.

    In other news, can someone please register the domain “jeremyirons4pope.com”? We need to get a write-in campaign going stat!

  40. 40.

    Ash Can

    February 11, 2013 at 8:09 am

    I seem to recall Ratzinger saying he considered himself just an “interim” pontiff when he was elected. Maybe this is that line of thinking playing out. Maybe he got some bad news from his doctor to spur him to make this decision, or maybe he’s just had enough. And maybe he sees a successor shaping up, who will continue the Vatican’s reactionism (reactionary-ism?) for many years to come. (sigh)

    As for who’s next, I’m afraid @MikeJ has it right. Considering that the cardinals electing Benedict’s successor are the same ones who elected him in the first place, I’m not holding my breath for another John XXIII. And if the new pope is from Africa, it would be a novelty, to be sure, but remember that the African Church tends to be very conservative. An African pontiff would likely be more like Allen West than Barack Obama.

    And, what @Robert Sneddon said.

  41. 41.

    magurakurin

    February 11, 2013 at 8:09 am

    @scav: That’s fucked up. Israel has well and truly lost the plot. And that Guardian report kept going on about how the club had never had an Arab player before. I mean, like, the still don’t, right? Those guys are Chechen. They’re Muslims, but they aren’t Arabs. How can people speaking Hebrew, a language so closely related to Arabic as to be nearly mutually intelligible, seriously chant anti-Arab slogans to two guys who speak Russian or Chechen? Hell, Chechnya converted to Islam at the behest of the Turks, who are also, most emphatically, NOT Arabs.

    Teatardism is not an exclusive American product, it would seem.

  42. 42.

    dswagz

    February 11, 2013 at 8:10 am

    Dude is 85. This Pope is pooped.

  43. 43.

    Emma

    February 11, 2013 at 8:10 am

    @Robert Sneddon: That’s my feeling too. He knows he’s ill and he wants the chance to control the succession.

  44. 44.

    magurakurin

    February 11, 2013 at 8:11 am

    @Brandon: Nice. Well, monkey noises and bananas it is then, I guess, if the handicappers are right and a Ghanian gets the White Smoke.

  45. 45.

    Van DeVilder

    February 11, 2013 at 8:11 am

    Did you see the documentary last Monday on HBO about the Pope’s culpability in the child rape cover up? They laid the cover-up at his feet. Pretty powerful.

  46. 46.

    Elizabelle

    February 11, 2013 at 8:12 am

    If it is poor health compelling his resignation, I commend Ratzinger for that. It’s a good precedent to set.

    But gotta admit, I wondered what shoe (Prada or not) was about to drop when I heard the news.

    And what happens to that dreamboat private secretary?

  47. 47.

    sweaver

    February 11, 2013 at 8:15 am

    @Schlemizel:

    The next ass to warm the big chair is either already chosen or is being decided now through horse-trading and/or skillfully placed stilettos in the back.

    Nice laugh to start my day. I now realize you probably meant stiletto as in “knife”, but my first take was stiletto as in “high heel.”

    And that brought me to this sketch from Monty Python and now I don’t want to go to work.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVt1EY896cY

  48. 48.

    Kirbster

    February 11, 2013 at 8:16 am

    The only thing I feel sure of is that the new pope will be: (a), under 70 years old, and (b), even more reactionary than The German Shepherd. The Cardinals are a lot like the Republican Party. They don’t see anything wrong with the policies and believe that all they need is better packaging.

    Wikipedia has a handy list of possible candidates. Place yer bets!

  49. 49.

    JPL

    February 11, 2013 at 8:18 am

    @Elizabelle: Considering this is the beginning of the lent season, I think there is more to it.

  50. 50.

    Emma

    February 11, 2013 at 8:18 am

    @Kirbster: Need to narrow the list down first. I mean, two thirds of those aren’t papabile, either by age or because Vatican politics are what they are. It’s going to be interesting to watch.

  51. 51.

    Schlemizel

    February 11, 2013 at 8:22 am

    @sweaver:

    I wish I was clever enough to claim that! Damn auto-correct got me & made me funnier than normal

  52. 52.

    Ash Can

    February 11, 2013 at 8:24 am

    @magurakurin: Furthermore, with the current conservative Church leadership distilling the faithful down to the crazy and driving out the moderates (just like the GOP and in accordance with the expressed policy of Ratzinger), the Church leadership, I’m sure, would be oh-so-shocked to find out that the remaining faithful would be vehemently opposed to a pontiff of color and behave accordingly.

    ETA: Then again, electing a pontiff of color would likely be a sign that the Church leadership would have given up on the European-American Church altogether and decided that Africa and Latin America are the future of the Church. That would make for some serious schisms down the road.

  53. 53.

    arguingwithsignposts

    February 11, 2013 at 8:27 am

    Shit, I wish some of the two-bit President Wannabes in the US Senate would be so kind as to do us a Benny.

  54. 54.

    Feudalism Now!

    February 11, 2013 at 8:27 am

    Pope Ratzo is getting a sweetheart golden parachute and is going to live out the rest of his life with his secretary on the Riviera.
    At this point, who wants to be captain of the SS pedophile? We are rapidly entering the Robocop world where the Holy See’s Papal Bull**** are read for amusement at the end of newscasts.

  55. 55.

    Ash Can

    February 11, 2013 at 8:39 am

    And in other news, with a tip of the chapeau to Charles Johnson at LGF, a dose of cute to start your day: Goats On Things.

  56. 56.

    Kirbster

    February 11, 2013 at 8:39 am

    @Emma: The list is sortable by by any field including age and country.

  57. 57.

    SFAW

    February 11, 2013 at 8:41 am

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    Shit, I wish some of the two-bit President Wannabes in the US Senate would be so kind as to do us a Benny.

    Wow, 40 newly-appointed Senators would be kind of a lot, don’t you think? And that’s without Mo Cowan included.

  58. 58.

    scav

    February 11, 2013 at 8:43 am

    Oh I’m about to OD from the fulsome bbc world news discussion of his successful outreach to other religions and his intellectualism. That and the barrage of raccoon photos. Witnessing an event not seen since centuries comes at a cost. Oh for a report written by Dante.

    ETA oh thank GSD we’ve gotten to the Irish and they’re still at their bluntness.

  59. 59.

    MomSense

    February 11, 2013 at 8:44 am

    re: Pope–who cares why he is resigning but I think the Butler did it in the library with the ___________.

    O/T Stupid NPR was on in my car when I got in it and I caught the last 30 seconds of an interview with some energy “expert” – just long enough to hear Inskeep say something like “after listening to you I can’t help but think that our energy debate in this country is really stupid.” Then he cited the headlines of “Keystone pipeline for, Keystone pipeline against, Drill baby drill, and gas prices up in summer.

    Sweet mother of 8lb 3oz baby Jesus. Does he not know that he is the effing host of a 2 hour morning NEWS show that is broadcast ALL OVER THE COUNTRY 5 days a week!!??!!??!!??

    I hate NPR more than FUX “news” I swear.

    Ok–sorry for the rant. Back to work.

  60. 60.

    MomSense

    February 11, 2013 at 8:48 am

    @Baud:

    HAHAHAHAHA! You saw that horror fest on Staphylococcus’ show yesterday!

    Yes because knowing who Tupac is –totally the most important quality in a potential leader of the free world.

  61. 61.

    ericblair

    February 11, 2013 at 8:49 am

    @Ash Can:

    ETA: Then again, electing a pontiff of color would likely be a sign that the Church leadership would have given up on the European-American Church altogether and decided that Africa and Latin America are the future of the Church. That would make for some serious schisms down the road.

    It would be schism-in-a-can. Maybe we’d get a black Pope in Rome and a white anti-Pope in Avignon, wouldn’t that be special. I think it’s likely to happen at some point if the church continues its reactionary social policies, but not for a while.

    I’m tentative on the meetup tonight, depending on my wife’s schedule. We’re at the point in our relationship where “marital planning” means “who’s going to stay home to make sure the kids don’t trash the place.”

  62. 62.

    LGRooney

    February 11, 2013 at 8:49 am

    Almost 60 comments and no mention of Tim Minchin’s pope song? Good lord, we’re doing poorly this morning.

    I’ll be at Carpool around 1930 but can only stay for an hour or so.

  63. 63.

    Anya

    February 11, 2013 at 8:49 am

    @Knockabout: I am sorry if Zandar’s presence at Balloon Juice is causing you all of this distress, but you seriously need to get some help before you completely lose it.

    @Feudalism Now!: I am sure the secretary can do better than the sickly, older than dirt ratzinger.

  64. 64.

    matookoo_chan

    February 11, 2013 at 8:49 am

    Wir sind nicht mehr Papst.

    Auf Wienerschnitzel, Papa Ratzi…

  65. 65.

    Paul in KY

    February 11, 2013 at 8:49 am

    @scav: I would assume the Kenyan Cardinal is also a reactionary.

  66. 66.

    LGRooney

    February 11, 2013 at 8:50 am

    @MomSense: I took that in the same I way I took it when we heard Paul Ryan likes RATM. He likes the sound of it but understands nothing in the lyrics.

  67. 67.

    ET

    February 11, 2013 at 8:51 am

    I need to get back to the book I was reading title The Pope Who Quit by Jon M. Sweeney. All about Petr Morrone AKA Celestine V who was one of the few to abdicate (I don’t know my pope history so someone else can verify but according to CNN Gregory XII did it in 1415).

  68. 68.

    scav

    February 11, 2013 at 8:52 am

    @Paul in KY: of course. look at the Anglicans.

    ETA I did say ”first non-European reactionary pontiff”

  69. 69.

    handsmile

    February 11, 2013 at 8:54 am

    @scav:

    So what circle of the Inferno do you think awaits Joey Ratz? The eighth (Fraud) or ninth (Treachery) would seem to suit him, but in the eighth he’d have lots of Papal company in eternal damnation.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inferno_(Dante)

  70. 70.

    nancydarling

    February 11, 2013 at 8:56 am

    I found this interesting bit on the Guardian’s pick, Ghanian Cardinal Turkson, wikipage.

    Despite having flirted with it in his youth, he now calls it “horrendous…I am jealous of their fashion sense.”

  71. 71.

    MomSense

    February 11, 2013 at 8:59 am

    @magurakurin:

    God will stop whispering in his ear and move on to the next Pope.

  72. 72.

    nancydarling

    February 11, 2013 at 9:01 am

    I am not allowed to edit. The above comment is about homosexuality.

  73. 73.

    MomSense

    February 11, 2013 at 9:10 am

    @LGRooney:

    Yes, but notice that she didn’t say he likes Tupac–only that he knows who he is. They are not even trying to camouflage the pandering now.

  74. 74.

    scav

    February 11, 2013 at 9:11 am

    @handsmile: I agree, ninth for betrayal of community ties, and possibly the betrayal of guests (students and orphans), and maybe a significant body-part in 8th with the hypocrites. If I get another body-part, maybe in 7th with the usurers, there is the money-laundering end of things. Yes, definitely going with the multiple body-part solution.

  75. 75.

    Just One More Canuck

    February 11, 2013 at 9:15 am

    @Nemo_N: or Zandar

  76. 76.

    SRW1

    February 11, 2013 at 9:16 am

    Also too, what’s up with the Pope resigning?

    Related to the fact that over the weekend the second of Angela Merkel’s ministers had to resign due to said minister having her PhD title rescinded on grounds of a plagiarized PhD thesis, there is some hilarity on Ratzinger’s decision to abdicate among the snark-inclined parts of the German public:

    Rumor’s have it that Ratzinger resigned because he has been found to have plagiarized the bible.

  77. 77.

    chopper

    February 11, 2013 at 9:18 am

    @Knockabout:

    P.S. I am not a crackpot

  78. 78.

    quannlace

    February 11, 2013 at 9:22 am

    Hmm, they say Benedict will stay on till the end of the month. Does he get severance pay?

  79. 79.

    LGRooney

    February 11, 2013 at 9:22 am

    @MomSense: I also like the comment that this is part of what makes him modern. Next thing we’ll hear is that he enjoys the comedic stylings of Phil Hartman.

  80. 80.

    Schlemizel

    February 11, 2013 at 9:25 am

    @ET:

    But he was forced to quit as I recall. You have to go back another hundred or so years to find one that quit on his own

  81. 81.

    ExurbanMom

    February 11, 2013 at 9:27 am

    @Robert Sneddon: Yup. My guesses are yours: diagnosis of Alzheimer’s + desire to be kingmaker (popemaker) = resignation before he loses all the marbles left. Gag. Could the replacement be worse? Yes, yes it could…

  82. 82.

    Mike E

    February 11, 2013 at 9:30 am

    Benny is pulling an Uncle Junior.

  83. 83.

    handsmile

    February 11, 2013 at 9:32 am

    @quannlace:

    Yes, but he has to turn in the keys to the company car, the Pope-mobile. Fortunately, his former butler has already cleaned out his desk.

  84. 84.

    liberal

    February 11, 2013 at 9:33 am

    @Ash Can:

    I seem to recall Ratzinger saying he considered himself just an “interim” pontiff when he was elected.

    That’s exactly what I was thinking.

  85. 85.

    Redshirt

    February 11, 2013 at 9:34 am

    What does John McCain think? I’ll hold judgment till I hear from the America’s Real President.

    Will Huckleberry put a hold on the replacement? Where do the Koch Boys stand on the matter?

    So many questions!

  86. 86.

    MomSense

    February 11, 2013 at 9:37 am

    @LGRooney:

    I guess we should all be cool with the fact that he knows about things that happened last century. I mean the rest of the party is divided between the second half of the 19th and the first half of the 15th.

  87. 87.

    wuzzat

    February 11, 2013 at 9:41 am

    Pope Benedict obviously needs more time to focus on his alter-ego, Darth Sidious. Rest assured, no embryos will be destroyed in the implementation of the Clone Wars.

  88. 88.

    Cassidy

    February 11, 2013 at 9:44 am

    @LGRooney: His next rally will be him coming out to O.P.P.

  89. 89.

    Persia

    February 11, 2013 at 9:46 am

    @Amir Khalid: Cynically, I suspect Benny’s retiring ’cause he’s done what he wanted to do, which is consolidate the conservative wing of the church so none of those nasty reformers will get close for another 50-100 years.

  90. 90.

    Citizen_X

    February 11, 2013 at 9:47 am

    Maybe he just wants to march around and sing nostalgic songs from that organization he was in in his boyhood.

    YES, I WENT THERE.

  91. 91.

    MomSense

    February 11, 2013 at 9:48 am

    @Cassidy:

    HA!

  92. 92.

    Cassidy

    February 11, 2013 at 9:49 am

    @Citizen_X: What makes you think he doesn’t now?

  93. 93.

    geg6

    February 11, 2013 at 9:54 am

    @JoyceH:

    Alzheimer’s patients, through no fault of their own, can become disruptive, hostile, and embarrassing – which isn’t a good look for God’s Infallible Messenger On Earth.

    And that’s different from how he has conducted himself all his life, how exactly? This fucker was not only previously the fucking Grand Inquisitor (yes, that office has never gone away) but dismissed sexual abuses in his previous assignments his entire career and demonized the victims, in addition to the crap he’s encouraged his vile followers like Bill Donahue to fling against women and gays.

    Fuck him. I hope he dies a miserable, painful, long, drawn out, humiliating death. And that would only be a fraction of the suffering he deserves. Too bad I don’t believe in hell because if anyone deserves eternal suffering, it would be this piece of shit.

  94. 94.

    Upper West

    February 11, 2013 at 9:56 am

    Sorry I can’t make it Doug. Now if there really were HSR to DC . . . .

  95. 95.

    cmorenc

    February 11, 2013 at 10:00 am

    Holy cow Doug G. my younger daughter lives in one of the apartment towers @Ballston Square overlooking “Carpool” less than a block away. Alas, I am not up there visiting her at the moment, but four hours away at my home in Raleigh, NC and I’ll have to wait for another BJ meet-up. Too bad, I could’ve brought a balloon.

  96. 96.

    Paul in KY

    February 11, 2013 at 10:13 am

    @scav: You did, I just missed it.

    You need to use more paragraphs to seperate your prose.

  97. 97.

    Paul in KY

    February 11, 2013 at 10:15 am

    @SRW1: And who says Germans don’t have a sense of humour?

  98. 98.

    geg6

    February 11, 2013 at 10:16 am

    @Feudalism Now!:

    I seriously heard Nora O’Donnell speculating that it was possible that Cardinal Dolan would be a possibility. Yes, former Archbishop of Milwaukee, under whose authority was the St. John School for the Deaf and Father Murphy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_abuse_scandal_in_Catholic_archdiocese_of_Milwaukee, and realize that this is a complete whitewash of Dolan in this entry there). The same Archbishop Dolan who hid $multimillions and then declared the diocese bankrupt so that they wouldn’t have to pay out to victims. The same Dolan that is a prominent player in the recent HBO/Alex Gibney documentary Mea Maxima Culpa, a documentary well worth sitting through however sickening much of it is.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mea_Maxima_Culpa:_Silence_in_the_House_of_God

  99. 99.

    Paul in KY

    February 11, 2013 at 10:17 am

    @Cassidy: It was the forgetting of them that lead him to realize he was getting senile.

  100. 100.

    Paul in KY

    February 11, 2013 at 10:19 am

    @geg6: Does sound like he has the kind of resume Pope Palpatine would be looking for…

  101. 101.

    Bobby Thomson

    February 11, 2013 at 10:22 am

    Around 8:00 this morning, someone killing his estranged wife at the New Castle County Courthouse in Delaware managed to shoot five people (including two guards) before being killed.

  102. 102.

    Bobby Thomson

    February 11, 2013 at 10:26 am

    @Mike E: Uncle Junior was the pope in III.

  103. 103.

    Gin & Tonic

    February 11, 2013 at 10:28 am

    @Bobby Thomson: Too bad there weren’t any “good guys with guns” around to prevent this.

  104. 104.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    February 11, 2013 at 10:28 am

    While I’m glad to see Benny the Rat slink away into history, the rest of the degenerates are ready to pick another ringer to put in his place.

    Nothing will change except for the face of the HMIC (Head Molester In Charge).

    @Bobby Thomson:

    Just another morning in Uhmericuh, nothing new to see here.

  105. 105.

    Jennifer

    February 11, 2013 at 10:45 am

    Kind of a neat coincidence that the pope announces his resignation only a week after HBO first aired Mea Maxima Culpa, which details all the child abuse scandals and the role that the Vatican, and this pope, played in covering them up and making sure the perpetrators were never punished.

    First time I’ve ever seen the lines drawn so clearly. Mayber there IS another shoe about to drop, or maybe the one that already has convinced him and those around him that his moral authoritah was kaput.

  106. 106.

    handsmile

    February 11, 2013 at 10:47 am

    @geg6:

    “I seriously heard Nora O’Donnell speculating….”

    At which point I would have expected you to have drowned out her blather by howling laughter. Given its rank incompetence with American elections, the opinions of the Village media on papal elections by the Vatican’s College of Cardinals merit even greater derision. Yeah, an American pope. Utter cluelessness.

    Upon learning this morning of Joey Ratz’s resignation, I must say I was looking forward to reading your dispassionate comments on the subject. :)

  107. 107.

    geg6

    February 11, 2013 at 10:54 am

    @handsmile:

    Well, you should check out #93. I’m being very controlled and dispassionate there. ;-)

    And those speculating that the Rat already has his successor all sewn up or he wouldn’t do this, you can’t possibly have ever been a Catholic. The Brotherhood of the Red Beanies may seem like they are lockstep, but their self-regard and egos say differently. And Rat now has no power over them whatsoever at this point. They’ll do exactly as they want to do whatever the old Nazi thinks about it. He should know, better than almost anyone, that you can’t herd those cats.

    An aside: I’m really tired of typing and re-typing my name and email. When does the site update happen?

  108. 108.

    patrick II

    February 11, 2013 at 11:00 am

    @geg6:

    Yeah, but he’s gone to confession since then.

  109. 109.

    burnspbesq

    February 11, 2013 at 11:06 am

    @Amir Khalid:

    Bet on it: it will be Arinze, and everybody will be so amazed by the spectacle of the first African Pope that they won’t notice that on doctrinal matters, he’s even worse than Benny.

  110. 110.

    Amanda in the South Bay

    February 11, 2013 at 11:24 am

    @burnspbesq:

    For once I agree with Burnsey, if anything the non European candidates are going to be at least a s conservative as B16 was.

  111. 111.

    Amanda in the South Bay

    February 11, 2013 at 11:25 am

    Also, we’ve already had Asian popes-there were Pooes of Syrian origin in the 7th and 8th centuries
    :P

  112. 112.

    handsmile

    February 11, 2013 at 11:42 am

    I can’t believe I’ve forgotten until just now to post this poem by James Tate, one of the best-known and cherished American poems of the past twenty years, “How the Pope is Chosen:

    http://aspenanomie.tumblr.com/post/241861939

    (I fully expect to be posting this masterpiece on future threads here. A must-read!)

  113. 113.

    TooManyJens

    February 11, 2013 at 11:53 am

    @burnspbesq: I don’t know. Arinze is 80. Would they elect two Popes in a row who could be expected to have very short reigns?

  114. 114.

    geg6

    February 11, 2013 at 12:04 pm

    @TooManyJens:

    Agreed. I think they’ll go with a young whippersnapper of, oh, about 75 or so. ;-)

    Nah, they want the crazy blah guy who is another worshipper of JPII, criminal conspiracist, probably.

  115. 115.

    Elizabelle

    February 11, 2013 at 12:07 pm

    @Ash Can:

    Those goats on things were just the trick to enliven a dull grey Monday morning. Go goats.

    It was enough to awaken to news of the Papal Goat.

  116. 116.

    Robert Sneddon

    February 11, 2013 at 12:18 pm

    @geg6: Cardinal Ratzinger was head of the Inquisition. Pope Benedict XVI probably still has files of oppo research on the cardinals and since he didn’t resign feet first he’s still able to use them and the Conclave knows this. They will do as they’re told.

  117. 117.

    Dr. Squid

    February 11, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    @Knockabout: You didn’t get his job before. What makes you think you’ll get it now?

  118. 118.

    geg6

    February 11, 2013 at 2:07 pm

    @Robert Sneddon:

    Sadly (or not), he is no longer the Grand Inquisitor and he is no longer the Pope as of his date of resignation (2/28, I believe). Cardinals will do as they wish, as they always do. Not that I think they will suddenly find a liking for John XXIII. Not at all. But they will choose whomever they wish and the hell with that has-been Rat Boy.

  119. 119.

    Aexia

    February 11, 2013 at 7:09 pm

    Well try to be obvious where all y’all are.

  120. 120.

    cmorenc

    February 11, 2013 at 8:12 pm

    .

  121. 121.

    cmorenc

    February 11, 2013 at 8:13 pm

    That last comment was intended to set (or at least tie) the all-time record at BJ for the briefest, most concise comment. It consisted of nothing more than a period.

  122. 122.

    LanceThruster

    February 12, 2013 at 11:33 am

    I wondered if the timing had anything to do with the premiere of “‘Mea Maxima Culpa’: Sex, Lies, and the Catholic Church” on HBO. It does not show the Popenführer in a very good light.

  123. 123.

    LanceThruster

    February 12, 2013 at 11:35 am

    I wondered if the timing had anything to do with the premiere of “‘Mea Maxima Culpa’: Sex, Lies, and the Catholic Church” on HBO. It does not show the Popenführer in a very good light.

  124. 124.

    LanceThruster

    February 12, 2013 at 11:42 am

    @cmorenc:

    .

    !

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

On The Road - Winter Wren - North of Quebec City (part 2 of 3) - Cap Tourmente and on the way to Tadoussac 4
Image by Winter Wren (5/16/25)

Recent Comments

  • Matt McIrvin on Saturday Morning Open Thread: A Ray of Hope (May 17, 2025 @ 9:07am)
  • RevRick on Open Thread: Oh, Really? (May 17, 2025 @ 9:06am)
  • RevRick on Open Thread: Oh, Really? (May 17, 2025 @ 9:05am)
  • Doug R on Saturday Morning Open Thread: A Ray of Hope (May 17, 2025 @ 9:01am)
  • Nukular Biskits on Saturday Morning Open Thread: A Ray of Hope (May 17, 2025 @ 9:00am)

PA Supreme Court At Risk

Donate

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
War in Ukraine
Donate to Razom for Ukraine

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Meetups

Upcoming Ohio Meetup May 17
5/11 Post about the May 17 Ohio Meetup

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Hands Off! – Denver, San Diego & Austin

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

PA Supreme Court At Risk

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!