I recently developed a taste for Chai tea, so I purchased a kettle to make it at home. Whenever the kettle comes to a boil and starts whistling, my two dogs rush into the kitchen, bristling, growling and ready to rip apart the creature making that detestable shriek. Then they look confused when I take the kettle off the burner, and they return to licking their butts or whatever activity the kettle interrupted. This happens every day. Every. Day.
Will they ever learn to ignore the kettle? Probably. They finally stopped grabbing my pant-leg and trying to snatch me off the treadmill…several weeks after that infernal contraption entered their lives. I think they were trying to be helpful.
Do your pets, if any, do anything similarly weird or dumb? Have you measured their learning curve?
greennotGreen
One of my dogs who weighs about 25 pounds will not walk past another one who weighs 11 pounds to come into the bedroom to sleep at night. He just stands in the hall and barks until I escort him into the room. I’m unwilling to wait until he stops barking – and I don’t know how long that would take, at least 20 minutes, based on past performance – because it’s my bedtime, too.
Trollhattan
Waall, since you mention puppehs and treadmills, I offer this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SP4MgE6EmJE&feature=youtu.be
p.s. My puppeh has never shed (hah) her fear of the garbage, recycling and green waste trucks oh these many years. Did I note there are THREE trucks and they begin their rounds at dark o’clock?
MikeJ
Cat used to come running when the coffee grinder fired up because the ex-gf would give her steamed milk.
ranchandsyrup
Oh my yes. One of our malteseseses became traumatized because our smoke alarm used to go off at the slightest provocation in our old house. Now, whenever one of us starts reaching for pots or pans to cook, she tries to hightail it out of the house and dig her way out under the fence. When she’s “trapped” in the house, she will play hurt (including fake limping) until she gets some of the food.
Capri
My dog will only lie on the right hand side of our couch in the family room. If a person is sitting in “her” spot, she’ll sit beside them and look at them soulfully, then sigh and lie on the floor. She WILL NOT get up on the empty left hand side. If I move her to that side, she acts like I’m trying to drag her onto hot coals – as soon as I let her go she jumps off.
Why she thinks one side is OK and the other is not is a mystery.
I also have a cat that will only let you touch him if you’re on that couch. Anywhere else he’s a total barn cat (you can take the cat out of the barn, but you can never take the barn out of the cat) and you can’t get within 10 feet of him. If you’re sitting on that couch, he’s all over you.
BGinCHI
Mrs. BG does the same thing when the kettle whistles.
No idea why.
Alison
My cat licks stuff. Like everything. Plastic bags, table legs, vertical blind slats, the side of my little plastic chest of drawers…
She’s the weirdest. She’s also the only cat I’ve ever seen who won’t eat any people food – not even meat or cheese. Dry kibble, crunchy cat treats, and absolutely nothing else ever.
Darkrose
There are two noises that make the cats run for cover: the Cat-Eating Machine and me sneezing. The latter happens much more often than the former (probably some causation in there), and it’s always entertaining.
Abo gato
Our two JRTs are definitely OCD. The older one once saw a raccoon in the garage, so there is ALWAYS a raccoon in the garage. Anytime anyone goes out to the garage, they are there barking and lunging at the freezer or refrigerator. Same with the attic. Had a raccoon there too so anytime the stairs to the attic are down, they are trying to run up them. They will bark all night at a skunk in the yard or an opossum in a tree. Been skunked at least a dozen times but not one of them will learn from the experience.
Comrade Mary
To be honest, my reaction would be similar. (I’m all-electric, baby!) I wouldn’t lick my butt before or afterwards, though, unless someone was trying to serve me Earl Grey and I wanted some less vile flavour in my mouth to fight the taste of Bergamot.
dedc79
Have two tibetan terriers. One of them surprised us one day by heading over to the poland springs dispenser, standing on his hind legs and tapping the lever so that he could fill the tray with water to drink. Sometimes he prefers the direct approach and just gulps the water right out of the tap. We got a second tibetan, and sure enough, he saw what his older friend was doing and figured out how to do it himself.
Tibetans are very bright (for dogs, anyway) and apparently somewhat snobbish about drinking water out of bowls.
Trollhattan
@Alison:
If you ever take up fine woodworking, you can turn that into a big positive.
daddyj
MUST … KILL … VACUUM CLEANER!!!!
schrodinger's cat
Betty [email protected]
Chai is the Hindi word for tea derived from the Chinese cha. So chai tea is redundant. As for animals doing crazy things, my kittehs do diabolical things like hiding my watch and keys.
They don’t seem that concerned about my safety. Now I has a sad.
sb
My five-pound Bichi-Poo treats everyone who walks within ten yards of our apartment door as a home invasion. Does that count?
I’m home with her today. She had some kind of siezure today which to me looked for all the world like a heart attack–scared the rhymes-with-wit out of me. Emergency Vet said nothing showed up on the neurological exam and recommended some blood work in the future but for now, just rest.
Trollhattan
@Darkrose:
I’ll bite: “Cat-Eating Machine”=vacuum, or are you working on some kind of mechanical beastie to unleash on the metroplex?
Shana
@Darkrose: OK, I’ll bite. What’s the cat-eating machine?
NotMax
@dedc79
They’re readying to give next year’s SOTU response.
Betty Cracker
@Trollhattan: Speaking of kittehs and vacuums…
gbear
I had to read that sentence twice. You might want to add one more pronoun in there somewhere…
russell
I don’t know.
They hear a LOUD HORRIBLE SCREECHING WHISTLE so they run into the kitchen and BARK BARK BARK until it stops.
Which it does, every day.
From their point of view, this might be positive reinforcement.
Soonergrunt
“Then they look confused when I take the kettle off the burner and return to licking their butts…”
Good grammar. It’s important.
Betty Cracker
@gbear: LOL! Right you are.
NotMax
Open Thread?
The Joe Friday (“Just the facts, ma’m”) skinny on tomorrow’s near-space happening.
Everything You Need to Know About This Friday’s Close Shave by Asteroid 2012 DA14
Politically Lost
My dog Rex (Jack Russel mix) has his kennel next to the bed. It’s an open door policy for him and he makes use of the kennel and our bed as he sees fit.
Rex is not afraid of fireworks, he wants to murder them. A little distance from our house on various occasions the local jackasses in our neighborhood will set fireworks off, in turn setting him off. Lots of barking, growling, etc. Nothing like being shot out of sleep by an upset dog. These fireworks generally sound like little pops off in the distance.
Here’s the thing, he hasn’t acclimatized to it. It’s only gotten worse.
Now for the interesting part. Every now and then humans (while nicely tucked in their beds) will make little pops themselves. These “pops” are a bit muffled under the covers. And, I guess to a dog’s ears they sound remarkably like distant fireworks.
It’s to the point now where we actually have to be conscious of when we let one go. Otherwise, the furry alarm will become enraged…leading to high comedy.
bemused
Our kitties are indoor cats so satisfy their hunting instincts, they like to find things in the basement to haul upstairs to show us. One is particularly fond of doing this and meows loudly that we must come and see her finds. It is usually stuffed animals or clothing from the laundry room. One stuffed animal was twice her size and it was hilarious to her pulling it up the stairs like it was a real rabbit. She was very entranced with fuzzy paint rollers when we were doing a paint job and had the box of painting supplies out. I walked into the dining room and found 4 paint rollers neatly deposited on a throw rug,
dr. luba
@schrodinger’s cat: Ukrainian/slavic term, too. So I also hear “tea tea.”
(To Betty) A solution for you might be an electric kettle. Mine don’t whistle, just shut off when the water is ready. And much faster that heating on a gas stove. I bought my first back in the 80s after spending a month in England and realizing that tea is the nectar of life and an electric kettle is one of greatest inventions of modern history.
The best chai, of course, is that served by chai-wallahs throughout India. They boil tea powder in milk, add spices (cardomom, pepper, etc.) and sugar. Lots of sugar. The tea is served in small metal cups, but not until it has been cooled a bit by pouring it from cup to cup. The performance is just part of the enjoyment of the chai.
SatanicPanic
has anyone mentioned Oscar Pistorius? Kinda crazy
Villago Delenda Est
My problem isn’t a dumb pet. It’s a too damn smart for her own good pet.
This indoors only cat PLANS escape attempts. She knows when people are preparing to go outside, and she times her move for the open door with the precision of a Field Artillery fire control center. She also understands points of view, and will rush from one window to another when whatever it is outside that interests her moves out of her current point of vantage.
She also loves boxes and bags, and insists on sticking her head, and then most of her body, into very tiny openings to explore…
cckids
My tortie cat would wear a collar, but when we switched it out for a harness (she kept losing the collar), as soon as I snapped the buckle, she’d do a slow-mo collapse & just lie on the floor. My daughter called it the Paralyzing Harness of Doom.
We had to get a harness for her brother, put it on him where she could see that he was ok with it, then she had to save face & be all “no big deal”. Of course, it became her mission to get out of the harness as well. (She did).
She also ignores the scratching post until one of the boys gets in trouble for tearing up the carpet on the stairs. Then she makes a beeline for the post & ostentatiously scratches like crazy, because SHES THE GOOD ONE. Sibling rivalry crosses species boundaries.
Villago Delenda Est
@SatanicPanic:
Strikes me as Oskar was planning to avoid a messy legal situation with a soon-to-be ex, to me.
April
It took nearly 5 years before my 7 year old boxer figured out that when my old Pitt bull would bark at the window, it was really only so the boxer would get out of the best bed in the house and the pitty could snake the warm spot. Now the boxer waits for the puppy to also bark at the window before she gets up. Or maybe the boxer is feeling the effects of getting her rear end hit by a truck a few years back.
JPL
Betty, Wouldn’t it be easier to buy a kettle without a darn whistle?
kathy a.
@Capri: oh, me too! spotty is a former feral, and though we’ve had him since he was a kitten, it took years to be allowed to pet him. (even though he LOVES being pet.) and only i am allowed to pet him, and only if i am [a] in a prone position on the couch or [b] sitting safely in my office chair. no place else and nobody else is safe!
ranchandsyrup
@SatanicPanic: The onion did. http://www.theonion.com/articles/double-amputee-proves-he-is-capable-of-anything,31299/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=standard-post:headline:default
pseudonymous in nc
@dr. luba:
Not just cooling, but for oxygenation as well, which cuts the tannins a bit, although Indian chai should be tannic enough for your tongue to know.
But seriously, electric kettle. You can buy them in America now.
elmo
Rescue household, lots of weird behavior.
Terrier that I picked up starved on the side of the road, with obvious evidence of duct tape around his legs and muzzle, absolutely cannot abide me or my partner leaning over when the other one is lying on the couch. Doesn’t matter that it’s leaning over for a goodnight kiss or whatever, any leaning over like that is terrifying to him. Also there was once a TV movie that showed a horrifyingly realistic description of a domestic violence scene, and he went apeshit snarling and barking at the TV.
On a more amusing note, the African Grey has taken to imitating the other parrot (named Romeo), who is kind of a screamer. The Grey will scream just like Romeo, and then – in a perfect imitation of my annoyed voice — will say, “Romeo, stop that.” She also is learning to sing “You are my sunshine,” but all that really comes out is “Sunshine, sunshine, happy skies!”
MikeJ
@SatanicPanic:
Guy with gun kills someone. How is that the least bit crazy? That’s what guns are for.
Tragic but not really surprising.
gelfling545
Snarla barks at squirrels even when they aren’t around in case they might be lurking nearby, I guess. Also, she will let anybody come into the house; just don’t try to leave. She will grab onto pant legs or anything else that seems reachable & generally raise hell when anyone other than the residents of the house goes to leave. She’s 11 so I don’t have much hope that she’ll get over it.
R-Jud
Tully the Destroyer beats up his co-cat, scraps with the beagle next door, chases cars– and literally pooped himself in fear when Bean brought a mylar helium balloon home from a party on Saturday. He skulked along the floor, growling in fear, slunk out the cat door, and crapped on the patio.
The thing popped Monday, but he still creeps into the living room, checking the ceiling for it.
Patricia Kayden
They bark at and get agressive with the vacuum cleaner and lurch toward it frantically. It’s hilarious. And too cute.
They also pivot their heads and raise their ears whenever they hear animal noises from the tv. Also too cute.
Darkrose
@Trollhattan: Vacuum. I’m convinced that in prehistoric times, there was a species of dinosaur that sounded like a vacuum cleaner. And it ate cats.
SatanicPanic
@ranchandsyrup: This is part of the lesson that the universe is teaching us in recent years- the media is terrible at picking out sports heroes
Darkrose
@cckids: When I moved, we got a harness for my late, much lamented Maine Coon, Joxur. First we had to return the “one size fits all cats” harness and get one designed for small dogs. Then we put it on him, and Joxur went into passive resistance mode, letting us drag him around the kitchen like a big dust mop.
gogol's wife
My cats used to sleep with me in the winter. A year and a half ago we got a new mattress. They do not like it. I can’t figure out why. It’s a little higher than the old one, but even the fat cat is able to jump onto it — but he immediately jumps down for some reason. This would be fine, except now instead of coming in and snuggling at night and keeping me warm, they both stand outside the (open) bedroom door and yowl. I really do not understand it. Sasha will sometimes sleep on it during the day, but never at night when we’re in it.
schrodinger's cat
Trying to put both kittehs in the car and drive from school to my house two hours away was a nightmare experience. Both kittehs would sing a duet in the most pitiable voice you can imagine, from the start of the drive to the end. It was a traumatic experience for all of us.
cckids
@Darkrose: Isn’t it weird? It isn’t about comfort or anything else, just must feel strange to them.
ranchandsyrup
@SatanicPanic: Agreed and I think it goes to any hero. My only hero is the Onion Joe Biden. Otherwise I’m just setting myself up for disappointment.
raven
Lil Bit about has a stroke at any drive-up window. It started with the dump that has extra big milk bones. When we get within five miles she starts bouncing of the walls and, while the cashier figures our how much I owe, she whines and whines. When she gets the cookie she is just as happy as she could be. Now she does it at the bank and even the ATM. Poor thing is crushed when nothing but money comes out.
The Bohdi is obsessed with cows, horses and cats when we drive. All I have to do is point and go ooo and he goes ape shit barking.
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
@pseudonymous in nc:
Double-underscore cosigned, with multiple exclamation points!
Seriously, Betty, electric kettles heat the water faster than your stovetop, they can continue to keep the water hot for you automatically with a boil-over safety device that will shut off the power if all the water boils away (do NOT try doing that on your stove), and a decent one will have a preset range of different temperatures for use with different teas if you decide to branch out (green tea needs cooler water than black tea or chai, etc.)
Your pets are smart. They are telling you something, which is: get a better kettle.
cckids
Hermione (my tortie), also has a real dislike for our neighbors being outside in their own backyards, if she can see them from our upstairs windows. She tenses up & growls loudly at them, runs from room to room & window to window to keep an eye on them. Front yards, meh, she believes those are public space, apparently. New neighbors next door had a kids birthday party over the weekend, I finally had to put Hermione into “time out” in a room where she couldn’t see their yard, she was too stressed out.
Trollhattan
@Betty Cracker:
Look at all those kittehs scatter! Bet there were a lot of little brown crayons left in their wake.
NotMax
Speaking of lions (how’s that for a segue?), the king gets taken down a peg.
Darkrose
So many cat stories, but one of my favorites is the Day of the Five Shmousies.
There was a hole in the baseboard in our bathroom. At some point, a mama mouse got in there and had babies. One day, they came out, and Joxur was THRILLED. New, self-mobile toys! He’d bring them to us, we’d take the poor, terrified things outside, and then another would show up.
After five shmousies, though, there were no more. Joxur was fine with that, but the next day, we found him sitting expectantly in front of the duct-taped hole. He did this every day for at least a year, suggesting at least a basic grasp of causation: mice came out of this hole once; therefore if I wait long enough, it’ll happen again.
Joxur really did have opposable thumbs. If he’d been smarter, he’d have been dangerous.
ruemara
Kage walks like he’s drunk. Not very obviously drunk, just a major lack of the grace I have been told comes with being a cat. He also thinks his head is a battering ram. Which he uses constantly on my butt, arms and back. It gets to the point that I have to shoo him away, and then he’s hurt. If I pick him up and snuggle him, that’s bad. If I pet him, that’s bad too. But I should allow him to walk around me all stumbly and bump me to his hearts content while I scritch his bum. Very odd cat. Takkun just has the world’s worst case of constant attention-itis.
Since this is an open thread, one of my WoW buddies just got a mod for his ak. He can shoot 900 rpm. He’s not even 25. Why the fuck do you need that? I said he was now able to down a boar and grind it for burgers in one swoop.
elmo
@ThatLeftTurnInABQ:
Okay, I have seen lots of raving about electric kettles, and for serious, I thought they were the Pink Himalayan Salt of kitchen appliances. What could be simpler than the need to heat water, sez I, and what more do you need for the purpose than a sturdy fireproof container and a stove?
But I’ve been irritated by my various kettles, and the most recent irritation came when I accidentally allowed one to boil dry – the little plastic knob on top of the lid actually *melted off*.
So I just went over to Amazon and bought a nice, multi-temp electric kettle (I’ve been accustomed to keeping a thermometer in the kettle spout to check temps for tea). If it turns out to be Pink Himalayan Salt, or just the thing I need to make perfect melted butter sauce, I AM HOLDING YOU RESPONSIBLE.
jenn
@elmo: Oh, poor traumatized pup. Give him an extra snuggle from me. Too funny about your parrots, though! I never really knew just how much personality birds had until I lived in a house with a cockatiel. That bird had attitude to spare! It would be amazing to have one of the parrots, though somewhat intimidating to bring a pet into the house who had such a high chance of outliving you! And if they didn’t … it’s hard enough saying goodbye to a beloved dog you’ve had 15 years, saying goodbye to one you’ve had 60 years?!
SatanicPanic
@Villago Delenda Est: “She surprised me!” strikes me as a pretty flimsy alibi. He sounds like a pretty typical gun-nut living in a gated community stockpiling guns.
lojasmo
Open thread? Call I got form DSCC last night
DSCC fundraiser dude: “Hi, we need money for the senate race in MA”
Me: “I don’t donate to committees because they support too many shitty democrats”
Dude: “excuse me?”
me: “I don’t don to committees because they support too many shitty democrats”
Dude: “city democrats?”
Me: “SHITTY. Backstabbing useless conservadem fucktards”
Dude: “LOL. Thanks for the levity. Have a good night”
realbtl
My rescue Weimaraner love to charge out the front door and put the wild turkeys to flight. As soon as they take off she stops. I think she just likes to see them fly. Some of the turkeys have wised up and just run off. Those she ignores.
quannlace
When I adopted Kate, a shelter dog, the most they could tell us was that she’d been abandoned without food or water. Well, it certainly didnt traumatize her. Her attitude toward food I mean. Unlike some of my other dogs who’d inhale their kibble as soon as it touched their bowl, Katie has a laissez-faire policy. Some days, she’ll ignore it. Lots of times, she’ll start ‘talking’ to it, even ‘singing.’ Then there’s trying to pick up the bowl , and I guess, try to hide it. And of course, there’s always wide spread strewing of said kibble all over the kitchen floor. There’s many a day where I yell, ‘Will you just eat it !!” And eventually she does, but Jesus!
At her last vet visit, Dr. Miller said, “ah, nice and lean, just the way we like to see them’
‘No problem,’ I thought.
**********************
PS. What the hell is up with WordPress? Why do I have to type in my name and email every damn time i want to post a reply?
Anne Laurie
They’re boxers, Betty. I understand that you love them and all, but boxers are notorious for what polite trainers call ‘stickiness of problem behaviors’ and the rest of us in the training classes call ‘being thick as three short planks.’ Of course every individual dog is different & special, but boxers are supposed to have high pain thresholds and steep learning curves; once an idea finally works its way into those blocky skulls, you can’t remove it short of surgery. If you wanted dogs that picked up new ideas swiftly and changed their behaviors with shifting circumstances, you wouldn’t have chosen to live with boxers!
shortstop
Speaking of vacuums, if dogs are so scared of them, why the hell don’t they leave the room instead of walking backwards two feet in front of the ‘cuum making dramatic faces of great distress?
Our hound can’t let the neighbor across the street and one door down watch his TV without barking out the window at him. It doesn’t help that it’s a size-gigantic TV. Our pooch probably thinks the guy’s opened a multiplex in flagrant defiance of local zoning ordinances.
comrade scott's agenda of rage
The late Bozo (he of three legs) would become alert and start to bark loudly whenever the UPS truck would drive up the hill in front of our house. He’d turn it up a notch if the UPS driver came to the front door.
Never did this to anybody else, or anything else.
Why UPS? It was the UPS truck that backed over him when he was snoozing in the street (before he came to us), thus crushing his one front leg which was eventually amputated.
Boze did this for years until he got too old to care.
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
@elmo:
No problem.
But then it’s only fair if I get royalty payments if you decide that life is much better now that you can get out of bed in the morning, punch the button on the electric kettle while still half-asleep, and then go take a nice hot shower knowing that your tea water will be ready and waiting for you and at the perfect temperature as soon as you get out of the shower, and not have to worry about the stovetop kettle accidentally burning your house down if you forget about it and rush out the door to head off to work, without making that tea first*.
Deal?
*Which I’ve actually done, more than once. The rushing-out-the-door part, not the burning-down-the-house part, thank god.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Just caught the tail end of Obama calling out the Republicans on filibustering Hagel. If you dog starts howling for unexplained reasons, they’re probably picking up on the butt-hurt keening of Obama being very mean.
janeform
Our sheltie barks, with a look on his face that says, DOESN’T ANYONE UNDERSTAND HOW SERIOUS THIS IS?, when we so much as gesture toward the microwave. Escalates when we turn it on.
Sublime33
I had a paper route way back in the day, and there was a a 30 pound mutt that was chained with a 50 leash next door to one of my stops. For two years, this dog would come after me at full speed, run out of leash about 10 feet from the street, and violently fall backwards on his back. This was every day without fail, as long as I was on my bike.
Gin & Tonic
@SatanicPanic: I think he’s been mentioned on almost every thread since 7:30 this morning (EST)
JPL
Miss Moxie is thirteen or fourteen and she doesn’t even bark at the doorbell anymore.
Gin & Tonic
@JPL: Yeah, my dog is 14 and almost completely deaf. The doorbell does nothing. He’s almost completely blind, too, and since he can’t count, he’s afraid to go down the stairs because he’s not sure where/when they end.
Betty Cracker
@Anne Laurie: Well, good point. I do love the drooling ninnies though.
Speaking of pets and vacuum cleaners, does anyone have experience introducing a Roomba into a house with especially silly animals? I’d love to get a Roomba, but I’m afraid the dogs would destroy it.
Just Some Fuckhead
My cat – and by “my cat”, I mean a former kitten acquired by my daughter – is obsessed with me and anything that belongs to me. Lighter, keys, pocket stuff, wallet, watch, ring, necklace, etc. If he can get to it, he’ll abscond with it. If I accidentally leave my wallet out where he can get to it, he’ll take it apart and distribute the contents all over the house. I lost my necklace for a week once and we only found it when he went trotting by with it hanging out of his mouth. Once, we watched him grab my lighter, trot in the kitchen purposefully and drop it in the dog’s water bowl. He then fished it out and returned it to the exact spot he swiped it from.
He follows me around the house and will stand tall on his back feet so I can scratch his head as I walk past him. When I continue walking, he swipes at me to try to bring me back. He’s given me a couple of nasty scratches this way.
When I go to the bathroom, he must join me. He usually makes it in behind me before I close the door, otherwise I have to let him in before he takes the door off its hinges. If I’m standing, he’ll hop up on the magazine rack and watch the cool waterfall. If I’m sitting, he’ll hop up on the sink beside me and wait for me to finish.
The only peace I get from this cat is when I’m sleeping and only then because he hates the fan. He’ll be stretched out ON ME on the bed until I reach over and turn the fan on. Then his ears will flare back and he’ll hop down and go lay on the floor outside the bedroom, where he can keep an eye on me but not have to deal with the fan.
beltane
@shortstop: My dog likes to “protect” me from the vacuum cleaner by standing between me and the terrible device which, of course, makes the whole thing take twice as long as it otherwise would.
bemused
@lojasmo:
Ha, ha, that’s great.
Dick Woodcock
My 2 yo Boxer/Pit bitch has no spacial awareness at all. If she hears a thump or a bump, anywhere in the house, she starts barking & growling like a watchdog. Half the time she takes her time going to see what caused the noise, so it’s just a lot of barking without investigating. Then, even after she’ll see that it’s just me & walk away, I’ll make more noise and she’ll start barking/growling again.
I don’t mind her barking at people *actually* at the door, but it’s irritating when she barks at me coming out of my bedroom. I’ve never had another dog that does this either, even the stupid ones only barked at things outside.
She’s done this the whole 2 years we’ve had her & doesn’t seem to learn at all. Otherwise, she’s actually a very smart dog and I love her to death.
freelancer
Chubby Checker sues makers of “Chubby checker” dick-measuring phone app.
bemused
Just saw a clip of Obama at a pre-school, sitting on a little stool, interacting with the kids. Gotta love a president that is so at ease doing things like that.
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
@lojasmo:
Me: Tell you what, I’ll give you some money if you can say
‘I shot the city sheriff’ five times fast.
Gozer
My dog barks at the mail. Not the mailman, not the doorbell, but the fucking mail. I came up from my office the other day to find her snout about 1 inch from my wife’s ULTA catelog barking at it like it was a small rodent.
Ultraviolet Thunder
I’m in Kokomo again. Will this never stop?
Don’t answer that.
JPL
@bemused: The children were excited. One wanted to know if he was going to be their teacher and another commented that he had seen him on tv.
shortstop
@Just Some Fuckhead: Sounds like you need to lay off the bling.
At least you can find your stuff. My husband’s mom had a cat who systematically collected every small shiny thing in the house and secreted them in rotating undisclosed locations. They finally got a metal detector so they could be reunited with the flatware, nail clippers, pocket change, etc.
shortstop
@Ultraviolet Thunder: Ross, is that you? Or do we have more than one juicer who keeps getting sent to Kokomo in the dead of winter?
rikyrah
the President is a natural with kids
Jamie
A former cat had a fetish for bubble-wrap. I am not making this up. She would stand on it, be freaked out when the bubbles popped under her claws, stand on it again, and eventually pee on it.
You really had to watch her. She loved it. May she rest in peace.
Seanly
Our departed Ginnie was a found dog. She had gotten by for a couple of weeks at a gas station before we took her in. She always, always, always would tear open garbage bags if they were left out. She actually once got the entire trash bag out of the garbage can when the cabinet door was left ajar. She’d also counter-surf (not easy for a fat 75-lb dog).
The oddest thing that Ginnie would do is to nibble on my hair. I could lay on the floor & she would nibble away. She wouldn’t do it to my wife and I think we only ever got her to do it to one other person.
We kept one of her puppies (turned out she was preggers when we rescued her). Duncan’s pretty mellow like most big dogs. One of his favorite things to do is take our spot on the couch when one of us gets up. He also used to drag his water bowl when it was empty. And if one of us yells at the computer he comes in & bumps our hand – don’t think he cares for stress in the house.
Our new girl Chula is all about the food. She has a funny howl (ruuu ruuu) & we’ve now conditioned her to howl when we say something about dinner time. However, she also howls when she thinks she’s due a walk or treat.
bemused
@rikyrah:
iow, a normal person! I have a hard time picturing most other prominent people in government being able to interact with the little kids in a natural, relaxed way.
SatanicPanic
@Gin & Tonic: oops, haven’t been paying attention
GregB
@bemused:
As only an Islamo-fascist tyrant dictator would.
cckids
@comrade scott’s agenda of rage: Dog grudges, right? My Pomeranian was briefly “chased” ONCE by a Rottweiler (the big guy was in his front yard as we walked by, let out one bark & bounced over to the sidewalk, obv. wanting to play, his owner called him back) The apparent trauma of that led to Pixie attempting to take off & chase every Rottie he saw for at least the next 6 years. It got kind of old.
And, I have to say, for a dog that, in the 80’s, was the “dangerous” dog de jour, each Rottie just looks bemusedly at the 10-lb ball of barky fluff & ignores him.
bemused
@GregB:
Ah yes, I forgot, he’s the most terrifying, dangerous person on earth.
I don’t know how anyone can watch him (and his family) in non-political situations and not clearly see how normal and and down to earth he and they are. Disagreeing with his politics is one thing, labeling him some kind of monster because of his politics is just whacked.
jeffreyw
Thread needs moar Katie!
RossinDetroit, Rational Subjectivist
@shortstop:
Yeah, it’s me in another guise. The old one is collecting a lot of favorable Googleage and Idon’t want to crap it up any more with my cranky rantings here.
Thanks for asking!
DaddyJ
@elmo: Interesting! Our wheaten terrier does the same thing. Only time he’s ever come close to nipping me. A shelter dog whose previous family we know nothing about — except they took the dog to the shelter because of divorce.
JPL
@jeffreyw: Do you think she’ll ever come home to stay?
WereBear
Looooooove my electric kettle! I am absent-minded and do fear it boiling dry.
If our Maine Coon Cat mix, Reverend Jim, suspects you are heading for a chair, he will hustle enough to beat you to it. He wants to be picked up and hugged for his accomplishment.
JWL
“Do your pets, if any, do anything similarly weird or dumb”?
Actually, no. Aside from uncomprehendingly staring at my reflection in various windows, my cat is a really smart little animal. Even then, she’ll stop staring, turn, and look me in the eye as if to say, “I know it’s a reflection, asshole”.
I’m glad she can’t answer the same question about my behavior patterns.
Higgs Boson's Mate
Which is the Guilty Dog?
Note how the other two dogs do not help his case.
22over7
Ah, Mr. Hoover, destroyer of worlds. My cats high-tail it out of whatever space he invades.
The only really odd thing I can think of is that my tortie, Mugsy, likes to kiss my nose with hers. It’s really cute until she decides to BITE my nose, and I yell loudly because it fucking hurts.
PsiFighter37
Republicans filibustering one of their own.
Seriously, how can anyone in Washington take those assclowns on the GOP side seriously anymore? Is the sweet, sweet Villager cash really worth being completely ignorant?
Someone needs to wake up and start stating the truth, namely that the lily-ass hick white Republican Party cannot stand having a black man as president.
Betty Cracker
@cckids: My mom had a Rottie years ago. He was a sweet old lug, but once someone broke into Mom’s house while she was gone, and apparently the Rottie tore the thief up but good. The burglar was never apprehended, but Mom found a trail of blood through the house and one of her brooms the burglar had broken while attempting to fend off the Rottie while he (the burglar) beat a hasty retreat through the door. We tried to get the cops to check the local ERs for dog bite victims, but they wouldn’t. Pffft.
Sacrablue
@Darkrose: My goofball tuxedo kitty squeaks when I sneeze. I also have two cats that race to the kitchen every time they hear the electric can opener even though I have never fed them anything that required a can opener. The fat cat tries to squeeze under my bed twice a month when he hears the Alhambra water delivery truck. He doesn’t fit under the bed anymore, but he always forgets that fact.
hmd
My part border collie used to bark at anyone wearing a cowboy hat. Still does, for all I know.
And ceiling fans. Not when they are moving, nor when they are standing still, but only when they are starting up or stopping. Contraptions of the devil. At least he’s learned he’s never going to catch them.
People riding horses. Nothing in this world should have six legs. It’s just wrong. He did get over that one eventually.
WereBear
A friend in Queens once had a sheltie whose barking led to the capture of a potential burglar. He was a Hero of the Day!
My friend was quiet and humble. Because, he said, he had found the pile of toys by the window; the dog was trying to get the burglar to play with him.
But, you know, whatever works.
JoyfulA
@Betty Cracker: My cats, one very silly and one quite sober, paid no attention to Roombas. We suspect a Roomba pitch is not in their hearing range (like “no, don’t you dare”) or sounds pleasant. If it came at them, they’d just walk around it.
Husbands and Roombas, however, are a different story.
Jager
When our dearly departed German Shepherd was in his puppyhood he learned to lure me back to the car by turning on the emergency flashers. I’d leave him in the car and he’d look like he was going to die. One day he must have stepped on the flasher button (it was on the console on mid 90’s BMWs)when it snapped on I’d walk back to the car. He was pissed when we got rid of the Bimmer. He never figured how to push a button on the dash! He got skunked (badly) while we were camping, for years after, if he smelled skunk he’d bark his ass off.
MonkeyBoy
I have ANIMALS BEING DICKS in my RSS feeds. (new animated GIF maybe 3 times a week)
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
Wierd behavior? Our late German Shepherd was convinced something was under the slab of the basement floor. She would stare at one of the cracks, hump her back, then pounce, scratching and scrabbling at the floor and barking at it. Then repeat.
Strangest thing I ever saw. When we had friends over their jaws just dropped.
ETA: No name and email again? Really??
bemused
@PsiFighter37:
I just saw McCain on msnbc basically admitting it was revenge against Hagel for not following the Republican loyalty course as if it was perfectly reasonable. It also seems an excuse to stall trying to drum up some kind of farfetched Benghazi story to attack Obama.
gogol's wife
@MonkeyBoy:
That is addictive!
jeffreyw
@JPL: I’m sure sure how to answer that. Mrs J brought her to the house for a “visit” and Katie was only here for two days before she got away from us. I think she hangs close because we feed her reliably and she really has nowhere else to go. We are not at all sure we can handle her and be fair to the three we already have. We will make a decision when and if we catch her.
gogol's wife
@Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason:
Hmmm . . . that sounds like an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents. There were always husbands killing their wives and burying them in the basement, then getting caught when for someone reason someone had to dig up the basement.
Baud
Compared to me….no.
Sly
Day-um.
muddy
I had a dog who would go insane with sexual desire if anyone used this one brown blanket. We used to say that a large brown lump was his type. Anyone using the blanket would be humped thoroughly by the 95# rottweiler. Didn’t matter who it was. And no other blanket got this abuse.
Someone in the house once remarked favorably about the brown blanket, that it was a great weight and was their favorite. Did not immediately perceive why all others in the house screamed with laughter. “You just want the dog to hump you!”
Higgs Boson's Mate
@PsiFighter37:
It gets even better; the Republicans are now saying that it isn’t a filibuster because they say that it isn’t a filibuster.
JPL
@jeffreyw: In honor of valentine’s day, I hope it is a happy ever after. I’ve been following the tales of Katie and can only hope she does the right thing.
PsiFighter37
@bemused: Someone should inform that sore loser that the Senate’s job is not to settle scores or getting all bitchy and prissy about a ‘surge’ whose lasting impact on Middle Eastern history is maybe a light, high-pitched fart that can barely be heard over the music.
Seriously, someone reminds those assholes that they are to advise and consent, and unless the nominee is an extremist shitbag like John Ashcroft, there is no reason at all for a filibuster.
Oh, and Ashcroft wasn’t even filibustered.
bemused
@PsiFighter37:
This is all they are good at. They are fucking useless otherwise.
PsiFighter37
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: Republican would also have you believe that someone pisses on you and it’s proof that trickle-down economics is working…can’t you just feel the wealth of that liquid gold drenching you?
Someone should play a clip of them bitching about the definition of a filibuster, over and over, and highlight that this is what is wrong with the fucking Republican Party. They have no interest in governing whatsoever, and they don’t deserve to be in Congress, to have a pension, to have top-notch healthcare; nothing. Throw their asses onto the street, put them on a fucking island, and let’s see how well their Galtian wet dream plays out when it devolves into Lord of the Fucking Flies, except with everyone armed with AR-15s instead of handmade spears.
bemused
@PsiFighter37:
They are also trashing our reputation around the world. McCain doing this just shreds any kind of foreign policy creds he may have had left. He is one bitter old man.
Anne Laurie
@Betty Cracker: In fairness, I (we) fell in love with a toy breed that hates to get rained on… among other elmination-related issues. Over the last twenty years, I don’t think there’s ever been a time when we didn’t need a wetmop stationed ready-to-use on every floor. Between new rescues still learning the difference between Outside and Inside, territorial marking, fear-piddlers, old dogs with weak sphincters & the breed-famous papillon conviction that their fluffly little arses are made of sugar & will melt if the water-from-the-sky hits them, I’m just a dog janitor!
Anne Laurie
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Could be worse. One of our childhood cats (a female, spayed too young) was obsessed with my teenage brother, and repeatedly “sprayed” him & his possessions to establish her ownership rights. No, I don’t know how she survived, either.
Paddy
My dear departed Scoob was PETRIFIED of hot air balloons, even if they were just in the distance, fsm forbid they go over the yard. He would make a beeline for me and hide under my legs. My new old gal freaks at the screen capture noise my photo programs makes when it snaps a shot. It’s kind of a crisp shutter sound. Under the desk she goes.
opie_jeanne
This is Annie, when we first got her in December:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/snowwhite/8257346679/in/photostream
The first thing she did that made us think she might be smart was to take a shortcut to chase down a thrown toy, which meant she had to use a smidgeon of reason to run that direction since she couldn’t see the toy from that angle. I hope that made sense.
She is now 5 months old and the past couple of days has been trying to pick up a glass of water with her paw, as if she had opposable thumbs which she doesn’t, but it’s kind of amusing to watch her try.
She gets by on just being adorable. I think I should send her photo to Kim Jun Un because she was very upset by the news the other night about his recent nuclear test. I mean, she watched the tv news with us and there was deep concern on her face.
YellowJournalism
Our little cairn terrier will sleep on our bed upstairs in the evenings. You can call her and call her to come down, and she won’t budge until her highness feels like it. Yet, if she hears a bag of chips being opened or hears me popping popcorn, she comes running. I swear that one time she herd me peel the wrapper off a cupcake and just bolted down the stairs.
She also has a mommy instinct going on. If she sees te boys doing something dangerous like climbing on the furniture or playin too rough, she goes into Lassie mode and starts barking. If I don’t come right away, she comes to me with the most admonishing look on her face that says, “Get your butt in here! They’re at it again!” She was the same way when the boys cried as babies, especially with my youngest.
Darkrose
We can buy all the cat toys in the world, but Ogdred is happiest when he’s playing fetch with a crumpled-up receipt. He’s actually figured out that receipts are likely to appear from mom’s purse when she comes in with a whole bunch of plastic bags, and he will nose into our purses looking for them. If he doesn’t find one, he’ll check any open trash or recycling and bring us whatever he things is suitable: envelopes, cards, tabs from checks or bank statements, used tissues…
The other problem is that he wants to play on his schedule, which means that long after we’ve tired of tossing the receipt, he’ll bring it to one of us and nudge our hands until we get the point. This is frequently true when we’re sleeping; I often wake up to crumpled-up bits of paper on the pillow next to me.
Litlebritdifrnt
I need help from some puter experts. My home laptop has developed a problem whereby I cannot access drop down boxes. This is a real pain in the ass because right now I want to download “Much Ado About Nothing” from digital theatre and of course I can’t even get past the paying for it stage because I cannot click on the drop down boxes. Can anyone tell me why this has suddenly started happening?
opie_jeanne
@Darkrose: We get that playing schedule problem too, often waking up when a stuffed mousie is dropped on our heads.
This morning the blue one was on the foot of the bed, and the one that squeaks was in my shoe. We had to replace the first squeakie mouse; she wore it out in about a month.
Shortstop
@RossinDetroit, Rational Subjectivist: Oops! Sorry to have outed you!
Tokyokie
Marvin, our rescue lilac-point Siamese, will attack the paper coming out of the laser printer whenever it’s on (invariably causing a jam). As soon as he hears the the whine the printer makes before dispensing copies, he’ll race from elsewhere in the house to attack it. Needless to say, I’ve taken to closing the door before using it. Marvin also likes to sit on the back on the recliner and bite my hair while I’m watching TV, and he’ll always come to say hello whenever I use the toilet in the guest bathroom.
Keyser Söze (he’s more Verbal Kint), our elderly Balinese (which makes him half Siamese), will pick up cat toys/stuffed animals and wander about the house with them, making a particularly mournful noise before dropping them in the doorway to our bedroom (the door to which is always open). And Neyle, our late beloved kitteh (only about a quarter Siamese), would sit on the counter in the bathroom while the spousal unit would shower, then when she’d exit, he’d stretch out and place his paws on her shoulders so he could get a kiss. (He tried it with me a few times, but I’m about 9 inches taller, and he couldn’t stretch far enough to get his paws on my shoulders.)
And yes, I’m rather fond of Siamese kittehs.
JoyfulA
@opie_jeanne: If she were truly stupid, she could get by on her looks. A real charmer!
JPL
@Betty Cracker: If only the dog had a glock, it would be famous.
Mnemosyne
Charlotte once stole G’s wedding ring and we couldn’t find where she hid it. A couple of weeks later, I turned on our robot dinosaur and Charlotte ran from the room, retrieved the ring, and dropped it at the dinosaur’s feet.
This is why we call her “Gollum” and why G always keeps his ring in a drawer.
raven
@Litlebritdifrnt: Have you tried the arrow keys?
opie_jeanne
@Mnemosyne: Was it tribute?
Mnemosyne
@opie_jeanne:
That’s what we think, but we really have no idea what’s swirling around in her little kitty brain. She seems to have a rich fantasy life for an animal with a brain the size of a walnut.
PurpleGirl
@JPL: There are those of us who depend on the whistle to tell us the water is boiling. Otherwise we run the risk of boiling the kettle dry and ruining it. (Betty may or may not belong to this group but I do.)
Mnemosyne
@PurpleGirl:
This is why the electric kettle is the savior of all man (and woman)kind, especially us absent-minded or distracted ones. It can’t possibly boil over and it keeps the water hot for the moment you suddenly realize you turned the kettle on.
I admit, I mocked G when he first brought it home, but I have come to love it dearly. He uses it to make coffee most of the time and was using a broken-down plastic dripper, so I bought him one of these.
muddy
@Mnemosyne: A shelled walnut, mind you. As I tell my cats.
imonlylurking
Good to know we aren’t the only ones with a Teakettle of the Apocalypse.
NotMax
@Litlebritdifrnt
That’s a browser problem, almost surely*.
What browser are you using?
Is it the newest version of that browser?
Are you also using any add-ons for that browser?
Have you by any chance added any software to the computer since the last time you were able to use dropdowns?
Without that info, it’s blind guesswork.
*There is a tiny, tiny possibility it stems from something else (some of the detritus the operating system builds up over time). Had something similar occur some time ago (Win 98 days) and it turned out to be corruption in the Windows font cache, of all obscure things. In that case, simply opening the computer in Safe Mode, then shutting down and doing a normal start-up cleared that up 1-2-3.
*Also too, with a laptop, couldn’t hurt to check to see if maybe a key on the keyboard is sticking.
As always, recommend having (and running periodically) both Malwarebytes and CCleaner (both totally free), the former to check for nasties and the latter to clean out space-gobbling detritus.
Wolfdaughter
I don’t have time right now to read all the comments but I will later.
My cat Marmalade, a huge orange tabby, licks my hand, and then I’m supposed to rub his cheek right below his ear. It’s like he licks his paw and then cleans his face, as cats are wont to do. He apparently has made the connection between my “paw” and his.
He also chases imaginary prey, and activity I encourage, as he’s strictly an indoor cat and the chase gives him some exercise.
Patricia Kayden
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: Now that is adorable.
WereBear
How could I forget Tristan, still a kitten, helping with the taxes?
He wanted to open envelopes. So I had to throw some junk envelopes in a box lid for him.
Darkrose
@Litlebritdifrnt:
What’s your OS: Windows or Mac? Which version?
Which browser are you using?
If you try a different browser, what happens?
Does this happen on all sites, or just this one?
When you try to click the drop down, do you get an error message?
Jewish Steel
I get the feeling the basenjis are studying my learning curve. And are unimpressed.
PhoenixRising
@Paddy: OMG hot air balloon!
Or as we say here at the Great Dane Rescue Home: Fiery Doom from the Sky! Dragonses! Must. Fit. Under. Couch. Save. Maltipoo. Drag. Through. Dogdoor.
The horses react the same way. But if anyone is on them, it’s not remotely as funny.
I’m convinced that the big dog and the equines perceive balloons as dinosaurs and respond according to their evolutionary roots.
Starlit
My gold-eyed black cat will hold complete conversations with me. She’ll ask something that ends on a rising note, like a question, and I’ll reply with a flat tone, or a trill, and this can go on for three or four minutes.
Then she sits on the keyboard or whatever I’m reading for some face time (i.e., head scritches).
Marshall
I find that with my parrots it generally only takes one or two times for them to catch on.
(This is not counting instinctual flight or fight type situations, like unexpected loud noises – they definitely are fly away now, ask questions later creatures.)
Grudges, on the other hand, they can hold for years.
Marshall
@Litlebritdifrnt: If you are on a Mac, repair permissions. Regardless of what you are on, a cold reboot can sometimes work wonders.
ChristianPinko
One of my cats insists that I pet her and pay attention to her when I am in the kitchen. If I am in the kitchen and doing something else, like, I dunno, trying to make my own dinner, then she starts mewing and whining until I drop what I’m doing and start petting her. When I leave the kitchen, the mewing stops.
I have no idea why my cat has kitchen-focused separation anxiety.
tatateeta
I’m sure a lot of dogs do this. When the doorbell rings on TV, my dog rushes to the front door and barks. He does it every time. He has never figured out that the TV isn’t real. Same with dogs barking on TV. He barks back at them.
cmm
@tatateeta: our dogs bark at doorbells on tv too. Here’s the thing, though…we don’t have a doorbell. How do they “know” bell = someone at the door?
Ramalama
We switched over to an electric kettle that turns off automatically when the water begins boiling, not for the dog, but for the fact that we kept disregarding the whistle and somehow burned 2 kettles.
But our dog didn’t so much mind a singing kettle as much as he HATED Chinese Opera music. Hey, we had a turntable. And we discovered that one of us had an album of aforementioned music but both of us denied that the album was ours. So we started playing it, waiting for one of us to have an ‘oh yeah’ moment. We tried seven different times. Each time our big guy, who normally does not vocalize at all (he’s a Malamute), howled and cried.
Lex
OMG, 150+ comments in and nobody has mentioned this video of two Siamese going batsh*t while their owner takes a shower? (Video SFW; audio also SFW but annoying as all-get-out.) Apparently these cats do this EVERY TIME THE WOMAN SHOWERS.
Howlin Wolfe
My sheltie goes nuts when the oven door is opened, or a window. She will try to pull my wife away from the oven by her ankle. She HATES the oven mitts.
Another weird thing she does happens when she gets a treat, like a milkbone, that’s a little too large for her mouth. She runs off with it and disappears under a table, only to emerge with the uneaten treat in her mouth. She will come to where I’m sitting in the kitchen and look at me for attention then run off when I try to pay her some; a little later she’ll come back not only with the treat still in her mouth but also one of her toys, like a ball or a pull toy, in her mouth in front of the treat. That’s when she starts whining like Lassie. That’s a bit alarming, but if I try to intervene, she runs away like it’s a game. She’ll come back 3 or 4 times like that before she finally eats the thing.
nemesis
Pants while on the treadmill? You may not be doing it right.
nemesis
Uggh. Just walked by a TV and saw the CNN segment called “Who is winning the war on gun control?” For real? Of course, LaPierre is presented as a reasonable spokesperson for more murder weapons.
JustPeachyAndYou
Most of our cats exhibit eccentric behaviors, e.g.,
– meowing piteously when the TV is first turned on, but only by Mr. JustPeachy
– dragging my sox from the bedroom down the hall and into the living room. If we’ve been away for long, there are several pairs along the path, as if staged for delivery to the living room
– an obsession with the (old analog) answering machine, to the point that our outgoing message was, for a while, “Flash, damnit, leave the answering machine alone!”
– zipping around the house like a mad cat being chased by Cerberus, then plopping herself in a convenient lap as if it were her reward for a job well done
– popping out from under a table, tagging your unsuspecting shins with her front paws, then bounding away in high spirits (“Tag, you’re it!”)
– dumping the metal water bowl, because it was somehow inferior to the equally dump-able ceramic ones
We also had a day-of-the-long-knives with a pair of cats who trashed EVERY roll of toilet paper in the house, including those still in the package in the cabinet under the sink, making the house look like it had snowed inside. They never did it again, either.
Michele C
@Darkrose: When I sneeze, the cat we call “Simon Silly Simon” squeaks right back at me. It’s adorable, actually, but you can tell he’s stressed by the sneeze.
Michele C
Our wildest kitty, picked up in a parking lot in Jakarta when he was around “just weaned” age, is still terrified of the ice maker in the refrigerator, even when it just makes its little adjustment noises. His fur stands on end with a full ridge down his back, tail as puffy as a cat tail, and attacks it as if he’s protecting us.
julie
Our cat goes under the kitchen table when the kettle goes off. ever day. At least he is not under foot.