Since 13 year old wunderkind Jonathon Krohn is now a few years older and has ditched conservatism like it was an ebola soaked tissue and voted for Obama in 2012, CPAC has to find someone to replace his intellectual heft:
Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (R) will speak at next month’s Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC).
“We are pleased to again welcome Governor Sarah Palin to CPAC in March,” American Conservative Union (ACU) Chairman Al Cardenas said in a statement. “Governor Palin electrified the crowd in 2012 and we are thrilled to welcome her back this year.”
Awesome. Anyone want to guess what topics and talking points she will cover? I bet Benghazi figures prominently.
Baud
You can’t have a clown show without clowns.
And now I’m convinced that Chris Hayes should decline their invitation to speak at CPAC.
W
Why do the worst linger for so long? Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens (among sports figures), Sarah Palin, Michael Savage, Rush (among pundity types), and so forth just won’t bloody well go away!
schrodinger's cat
How much are they paying her?
Feebog
Sell by date long past. Just spoiled milk and green cheese now…
cckids
Benghazi, Bill Ayers, un-American, you name it, there will be no coherent sense to anything she says. Please, FSM, stick a fork in her.
Litlebritdifrnt
@schrodinger’s cat:
That was my first thought too!
Omnes Omnibus
@schrodinger’s cat: Too much.
PsiFighter37
@Baud: He should do it, but only if he spends the entire time he has trolling that crowd of losers, a la Colbert at the WH Correspondent’s Dinner.
BGinCHI
Freedoms. Plural.
Guns. Very plural.
Josie
I don’t know who looks more like a loser in this deal – CPAC or Palin. Both, I guess.
bleh
I’ll bet resentment and racist dog-whistles figure bigger.
Ash Can
Trick question. In light of the fact that it’s damned near impossible to understand what the hell she’s saying most of the time, how will anyone know what topics and talking points she’ll have covered?
Comrade Dread
“How Obama hates fluffy puppies because of Sharia law.”
“Chuck Hitler. How Obama’s choice for secretary of defense means the end of Israel.”
“Agenda 21 or how Obama plans on turning our golf courses into concentration camps.”
“Why is it still snowing in the northeast and other reasons why climate change is a UN hoax to steal your guns and cars and turn America red.”
Anoniminous
This must be part of the GOP Re-Branding effort.
PsiFighter37
In all honesty, who gives a damn about Palin anymore? Are there conservatives who still give a shit about whatever she does with her time?
Me personally, I couldn’t care less unless she gets caught doing some kind of controlled substance (which, given how awful she’s looked recently, isn’t out of the question). Then I’ll laugh, have a drink, and remember when Senator McGrumpy thought she could possibly be qualified at all.
SatanicPanic
@PsiFighter37: That should be hung around his neck every time he speaks. Headlines should read- Senator Who Nominated Sarah Palin for VP Complains About Obama Pick.
Mike in NC
The CPAC clown show will have at least one table selling nothing but BENGHAZI-themed merchandise: buttons, bumper stickers, beanies with propellers, t-shirts, etc. The 27%ers will eat that stuff up. Lady Lindsey might even be able to have a book published just in time.
cathyx
I’ll guarantee she will talk about Obama taking away their guns.
Baud
@PsiFighter37:
He wouldn’t though. He’s too serious.
FlipYrWhig
Maybe it’s all just a 5th reunion of the breakthrough stars of 2007-08. Maybe Zac Ephron is going to be there!
RobertDSC-iMac G5
I imagine the attendees will be thinking about sticking something else into her.
Face
Quick question– if I’m governor for just 1 day, then I quit, can I really be called “Governor” for the rest of my life? I see she’s not even “former Governor”, just “Governor”, as if she’s currently leading Alaska. What if both the current governor and Sarah were present…are they both called Governor? How many questions can I pose in a comment?
Scott S.
GOOD.
The more Sister Sarah is in the news and in the public eye, the better for everyone. Same with Trump, O’Reilly, Hannity, Limbaugh, Coulter, Malkin, and every other noxious lunatic reprobate out there. The more non-wingnuts see them, the more they hate conservatism.
Tonal Crow
Republicans are correct that America just hasn’t heard enough about their agenda. And who better to inform America about that agenda than the woman Republicans tried to make President? Go Sarah!
RobertDSC-iMac G5
@Face:
It’s normally a courtesy to call former office holders by their titles. We saw that during the campaign with the immortal “Please proceed, Governor” bit.
salvage
In regards to Benghazi we still don’t know if the President wore a red tie or if he held the phone up with his right hand and just how much pasta had he eaten that night? Hillary refuses to answer if she sneezed once or twice during her briefing and the records don’t say!
It’s obvious that a lot of stuff is being covered up so Governor Palin would be the one to ask the questions that the lame stream media refuses to even consider no matter how many times you email them.
wasabi gasp
Musketty retro and how Obama can’t paint feet.
quannlace
Bet she won’t be in the main ballroom.
Bokonon
The whole Benghazi thing just gets more unhinged the longer it goes (probably due to talk radio continuing to flog the issue, and seeking new reasons for outrage). I now see Facebook posts claiming that President Obama “murdered” the Americans who were killed.
So we’ve now moved beyond “lying” and “betrayal” and “cover up” into murder territory?
And wait a minute. Isn’t the whole reason for the outrage that a MOB killed the Americans, and some of them were jihadists, and there wasn’t good security at the consulate?
It is a head-scratcher. I suppose that they must mean “murder” in some sort of nontraditional, passive, thousands-of-miles away, murder-by-someone-else’s-hand, strict liability philosophical non-linear postmodernist culpability sense. Either that, or they are just bonkers.
No wonder the GOP has so many unanswered questions about Benghazi.
daverave
I’ll bet that Jindal will be pleased that CPAC is taking his advice to dial back on the stupid. /s
trollhattan
@Bokonon:
Until Frank Luntz polls it as a losing issue for the Republicans, they’ll keep flogging it. Can’t recall which conservative opinionator opined that in the unlikely event Obama won reelection, his second term wouldn’t survive the Banghazi Skandal. Should have bookmarked the thing just for the sweet comedy.
The Dangerman
Duncing with the Cur.
AIMAI
It is going to be completely nauseating to hear her lecture us on the evils of Obama’s “gun grabbing” after the murder of the school children. We will hear all about how indifferent Obama was to the deaths of children in Chicago. How “no one could have known” that crazy people with guns are more dangerous than crazy people without guns, etc..etc…etc…Whatever she says: its going to be sick.
John O
Is there a Top Ten list of all-time greatest lifetime Grifting achievement?
MikeJ
@daverave:
Fred at slacktivist has an excellent roundup of recent Republican outreach efforts.
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
I can see Benghazi from my house!
dms
@W: Paraphrasing a line from “Gosford Park” referring to William’s current dog: the ones you hate always seem to last the longest.
SiubhanDuinne
@John O:
Sarah is #1-11.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford: I think you win.
John O
@SiubhanDuinne:
I dunno. There have been some great ones just in my lifetime. Rove comes immediately to mind, as does the National Review.
Higgs Boson's Mate
@SatanicPanic:
After such a fiasco, a normal person would think twice before criticizing someone’s choice as a nominee for high office. As a GOP stalwart and an emblematic Senator McCain isn’t constrained by so much as an iota of normalcy.
Josie
@John O: Don’t forget Newt the Magnificent.
Comrade Dread
@Higgs Boson’s Mate:
Not to critique your writing, but you could say the same thing in fewer words by saying “John McCain is a horse’s ass.”
John O
@Josie:
Newt! He certainly deserves consideration…
chopper
@Bokonon:
it’s turning into obama’s ‘vince foster’. because that’s the ultimate direction righties want to take anything a democratic president does. which i don’t mind, because that is some cask-strength stupid.
mai naem
@John O: Grover Norquist, William Buckley, Pat Buchanan, Glenn Beck, Kkkarl Rove, The Ron Paul family, Newt Gingrich… there’s a lot of them.
bemused
Are there very many Palin fans these days? I don’t go to rightwing sites but do they even talk about her anymore? I’m just wondering how many CPAC attendees will actually go listen to her talk.
gbear
@AIMAI:
The way things have been going, there’ll probably be a fresh mass-murder somewhere just before she speaks.
I agree with Ash Can @ 12. We’ll be wondering what her talking points were even after she does her thing. She’s the queen of incoherence.
mai naem
I forgot the Irving Kristol family which has turned it into a multi-generational art with extended family member involvement.
John O
I hope Sarah fires up her fans with a great speech and becomes a serious player in GOP politics again. God probably doesn’t love me enough for that, though.
Higgs Boson's Mate
No matter she includes in the word salad, Palin’s appearance is guaranteed to set off a wave of comeback speculation in The Village. That won’t be because Palin is capable of a comeback it will be because The Village is made up of dickheads.
Maude
@gbear:
She’d have to know what she was talking about before we could know what she was talking about.
Redshirt
@bemused: There are, and they do. In fact, her sitting out the 2012 season has seemingly granted her even more exalted status among the Wingnuttiest of the Wingnuts.
As such, we should continue to “quake in fear” of Sarah, so the Republicans continue to put her front and center, and the comedy continues.
Chris
@mai naem:
Oliver North deserves some kind of award. Breaking government regulations to sell weapons to Iran, of all countries, and still coming out of it to get a lifetime gig telling “war stories” for those who fancy themselves Patriots Against Islamo-fascist Eebilness has got to be some kind of a record.
Litlebritdifrnt
@bemused:
Over at C4P which I visit occasionally there are 25 comments on the announcement that she will be speaking at CPAC. The other big thread is an open thread where they are discussing the same thing a little less than 200 comments.
celticdragonchick
Don’t forget “Hagel hates teh Jews and Israel!!11ty!“
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
Who cares? Just because they put up billboards by the side of the highway advertising the sorry lot of some washed up B-list Las Vegas crooner who is now reduced to working the Indian Ca$ino circuit in order to get the bills paid, doesn’t mean I have to pay attention. CPAC is the same thing, only with more artificial lighting and less human dignity.
celticdragonchick
@Feebog:
Just spoiled milk and green cheese now…
danielx
Starbursts. I’m thinking starbursts. It doesn’t matter, they’re not bringing her for her ability to speak correct English and promote coherent ideas.
But seriously, if CPAC still thinks Snowbilly Snooki is either relevant or worth paying as a speaker, La Palin isn’t the only entity past its sell-by date.
MCA1
Am I the first to throw Cole an appreciation on the thread title? I don’t know what Mrs. First Dude will talk about, but I’m reasonably confident storms will be brewin’ in her eyes.
Worse band – Jefferson Airstarplaneship, or Heart?
Mr Stagger Lee
@John O: I think there are still some holdovers, but since they aren’t Koch rich, they will be humored then shown the door. I suspect Rand Paul will be the new savior.
NCSteve
Will the wild-eyed old white guys she’ll be whipping up into a sexually charged frenzy of hate be supplied with spooge-wipes by the organizers or will they have to bring their own?
Cris (without an H)
I would rather listen to Starship than listen to Sarah Palin. Barely.
Anya
Sarah Palin’s speech:
Common sense conservatism, Reagan, Benghazi, he hates America. Israel, Israel, Israel. Lame steam media’s cover up of Obama playing golf. Why not me president?
Cris (without an H)
Jefferson Starbursts.
gbear
@MCA1: Journey or REO Speedwagon?
Snarla
Latest right-wing outrage I saw in my Facebook feed is that Nancy Pelosi doesn’t want a cut in congressional pay due to the “dignity of the office.” Looking for the closest thing I can find to the original, it appears that she doesn’t want a cut to federal employee pay.
Litlebritdifrnt
OT take this with a pinch of salt until there is more information.
http://notocbcp.weebly.com/2/post/2013/02/pope-received-news-of-his-warrant-of-arrest-before-resignation.html
The only thing I can say is that the story was tweeted by Shannyn Moore and she is not usual one to fall for hoaxes.
mouse tolliver
@MikeJ:
From that link, I found this…
If you thought Michelle Malkin couldn’t possibly sink any lower after granite counter tops, you were mistaken.
Higgs Boson's Mate
@MCA1:
Hands down: Earth Opera.
ranchandsyrup
I predict she’ll outline the broad strokes of her new MLM Conservagrift, ‘Murican Way.
Higgs Boson's Mate
Aimee Semple McPalin
Cris (without an H)
all of them, Katie
R-Jud
@gbear: Chicago or Boston?
bemused
@Redshirt:
IOW. she looked better to them when they didn’t see or hear as much of her for awhile, lol.
bemused
@Litlebritdifrnt:
She was just scheduled, right? It’s early days but those number of comments don’t sound all that enthusiastic so far.
daverave
@R-Jud:
Not even close… Boston in so many ways.
Brandon
I like Starbursts, but I think C.R.E.A.M. would have been a more appropriate tag in this instance.
Calouste
@Litlebritdifrnt:
How many countries does the Vatican have extradition treaties with? Not many I guess.
Cassidy
IT’S ALL OBAMA’S FAULT! LEADERSHIP! IM SMARTER AND WHITER! ARGLE BARGLE!
Buy my shit.
Cassidy
@MCA1: Not even close. Nancy Wilson is a better guitar player than most of the men from her era.
GregB
@Higgs Boson’s Mate:
Aimee
SempleSimple McPalin.Fixed it.
Chyron HR
I guarantee you there won’t be a single mention of “Benghazi”. She’ll be quite het up about “Ben-zaga-hay”, though.
gbear
@Chyron HR: I’ll bet that she lets slip with a ‘Bengazistan’.
Redshirt
“That Benghazi there…”
gelfling545
Wasn’t this one of the deals she was supposed to attend & then didn’t last year or the year before or whenever? So who knows if she’ll actually attend.
rda909
There will surely be a bunch of ranting and foaming-at-the-mouth about Obummer being the most secretive, scandalous, corporate stooge (because Geithner, that’s why!) who is screwing up the middle east “wars” and ruining America’s image in that region, and is taking away all our liberties and planning drone strikes against his own people, and is just all around way in over his head with hopey-changey delusions, and being enabled by his mindless followers who can’t accept any criticism of Der Leader.
Oh whoops. I thought you were talking about the next Netroots Nation. Sorry.
danielx
@GregB:
And a 5.5 from even the East German judge!
Felonius Monk
The Grift that keeps on Grifting.
rda909
@Feebog:
http://www.skinnyland.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/sarah-palin-12169-5.jpg
“Just spoiled milk and green (cottage) cheese now…” Fixed for accuracy.
gbear
OT, but you know, I kind of hope this actually happens:
Yutsano
OT: A Republican gets off the boat.
Violet
@Yutsano: Dead girl, live boy, or Teanutters at the primary?
'Niques
If I remember right, she didn’t show the last time she was invited to speak at CPAC because she found out it wasn’t a paying engagement.
FlipYrWhig
@gbear: Silly git. That’s not how we’re going to persecute Christians, that’s how we’re going to persecute _gun owners_.
Mr Stagger Lee
@Snarla: Even Democratic Underground is falling for that. Some think it is about the congress only, Nancy Smash is being roasted by some of the commentators. One thing with all this Benghazi nonsense, I think that most people don’t pay attention, will think that Ben Ghazi starred in Road House with Patrick Swayze, or was he that crazy gangsters in Goodfellas? You know like Vince Foster, the guy who invented those cool sunglasses?
Yutsano
@Violet: It’s Nebraska so my guess is the third. He saw the Fischer election and said HELL NO.
gbear
@Mr Stagger Lee: I’ll always remember Ben Ghazi from his starring role in the 60’s TV drama ‘Run For Your Life’.
folsom ca
I am sure the governor has a book to sell, maybe a fitness one. It is the ongoing con.
Hungry Joe
@MCA1:
Kansas or America?
(Jefferson Airplane was a great band … for a while. Okay, for one album. But it was a great album.)
Violet
@folsom ca:
I think if she had a book in the works we’d be hearing about it. She’s got nothing.
Redshirt
Wasn’t Ben Ghazi the lead actor in Ghandi?
gbear
@Hungry Joe: Jefferson Airplane had two absolutely classic albums in ‘Surrealistic Pillow’ and ‘Volunteers’. All of their albums up to Volunteers has a whole lot to offer. They kind of went off the rails after Balin was bullied out of the band, but I will swear that there wasn’t a better group of musicians in San Francisco than the Airplane.
Redshift
@Bokonon:
That one goes back months. There’s some bizarre wingnut conspiracy theory that there were special forces who could have saved the people in Benghazi, but Obama refused to even take the call because he wanted them to be killed. Or something. I can’t remember all the details, but if you hear them ranting about how he took the call from the Seals on the bin Laden raid (IIRC), but wouldn’t take it on Benghazi, that’s what it’s about.
It’s extremely stupid, even by wingnut standards.
Djur
@MCA1: Jefferson whatever, because Heart was great early on.
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
@gbear:
We need to breed MOAR lions, stat! Maybe Kenya will loan us some.
AIMAI
@gbear:
I loved Jefferson Airplane. Sound of my youth.
TS
@Josie:
This is the party who want to re-brand – appeal to a wider audience – Palin lost in 2008, CPAC and the GOP are the big losers here.
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
@AIMAI: Mine too, and gbear nailed their two best albums. Although I’m partial to a few of the cuts from After Bathing At Baxters.
Heart’s good too. It was a bad setup at the beginning. I’m going with the other worse band choices. Journey, REO, Boston, Chicago (after album #1). Tears for Fears? There’s some awful ones I can’t even remember the name of.
Dan
I was going to name my dog Benghazi. But I was afraid that if he got out, and I had to go down the street yelling BENGHAZI! BENGHAZI! that everyone would think that I was John McCain.
West of the Rockies
Well, I take some comfort in the fact that this thread is bottoming out — time was, a Pinhead, er, Palin thread would go on for 200-300. Now the Sainted Sarah generates a bit over 100 comments most times. Don’t let the door hit ya on the fanny on the way out, Governor. How’s that nopey-grifty thing workin’ out for ya?
opie_jeanne
@MCA1: Heart, by a mile.
Southern Beale
Kinda says it all that they couldn’t find someone new to headline the hatefest this year.
Patricia Kayden
“Anyone want to guess what topics and talking points she will cover?”
The Half-Term Governor AKA Word Salad Palin could cover just about anything — from seeing Russia to her house to reading every newspaper ever written. Who knows?
Thank goodness that her ramblings matter not at all.
ekmuk
I was going to make a word salad joke too. fuck you, internet.
barbequebob
Jefferson Airplane, Great Band, significant impact on the music and culture of the time.
Jefferson Starship, terrible.
barbequebob
Jefferson Airplane, Great Band, significant impact on the music and culture of the time.
Jefferson Starship, terrible.
LosGatosCA
White Rabbit
Somebody to Love
Jorma Kaukonen
Grace Slick
Volunteers
Pay tribute.
LosGatosCA
Sarah Palin is the answer
– when Ann Coulter is not available and Michelle Malkin is too cerebral
Kinda like prunes: is one too few, is an IQ of 50 too much?
Bulworth
They’re pretty much scrapping the barrel this time. Much like other times.
Bulworth
I’d pretty much assumed that after being cut loose by Faux that she’d lose her invites to the various conservafab get togethers. But I guess not.
Tom65
Is she a keynote speaker, or will she be out in the hallway hawking Sham-Wow with Vince?
MCA1
Never thought I’d get so much response on that question. For me, I know that the one I hate the most is Heart. Mostly because their two big hit songs make me want to puke, they’re so aggressively terrible, like some juvenile make believe version of rock. Jefferson Airplane and the entire psychadelic rock movement strikes me as having been deeply overrated for years and is now in the process of finally being forgotten. Their first couple albums don’t do anything for me, but I guess they’re not horrible. And the Starship incarnation is just mockable – it’s so bad it’s hard to hate. In fact, I guess I kind of like that it existed, because it’s good for a laugh. So I’ll go with Heart.
As to the other questions posed: Journey, Kansas, and Boston, imho. Journey is probably in my personal Top 3 Most Loathed Bands list, along with Aerosmith and I’m not even sure who else. Every time I hear that song with a title that shall not be named but was prominently featured on the Sopranos and is now mandatory at every wedding reception, I want to beat someone up, and I lose all respect for whatever establishment is allowing that dreck to pollute public air.
Jay in Oregon
@FlipYrWhig:
I thought the plan was to create reservations for them to live on with suitably patriotic names like “The Citadel” and “Independence, USA.”
Or, as the Obama Administration calls them, “FEMA-IDA-001” and “FEMA-IND-002″…