Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

He really is that stupid.

People identifying as christian while ignoring christ and his teachings is a strange thing indeed.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

When you’re a Republican, they let you do it.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

75% of people clapping liked the show!

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

This fight is for everything.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

The arc of the moral universe does not bend itself. it is up to us to bend it.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Everybody saw this coming.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires Republicans to act in good faith.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Beware of advice from anyone for whom Democrats are “they” and not “we.”

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

The fight for our country is always worth it. ~Kamala Harris

Sometimes the world just tells you your cat is here.

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Kitty Update

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Mom and I spent the last 48 hours trying to come up with names, but Hillary Bok came up with the perfect one- Zsa Zsa.

It’s purrfect. She’s super feminine and an aggressive lover, and this just fits. I went into her room, said “Zsa Zsa,” and she climbed out from under the spare bed, jumped on my lap and loved on me. Zsa Zsa it is.

Reader Interactions

148Comments

  1. 1.

    shortstop

    I like that a lot! Have met way too many cats and dogs named Stella the past couple of years. Zsa Zsa is fresh, fun to say and rrrrRRRRrrrrr.

  5. 5.

    JGabriel

    John Cole:

    I went into her room, said “Zsa Zsa,” and sh climbed out from under the spare bed, jumped on my lap and loved on me. Zsa Zsa it is.

    Good, ’cause the whole Stella naming thingamabob had me worried for her safety from Marlon Brando.

    .

  9. 9.

    Violet

    Love it! Fits her, at least from what I can tell from the pics.

    How are Tunch and the girls adapting to life with Zsa Zsa?

  10. 10.

    SFAW

    John –

    I hope you’ll forgive me, but the first thing that popped into my tiny brain, after your “lover” line, was Tom Lehrer’s comment about the late Doctor Samuel Gall.

  14. 14.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    I just saw this on twitter

    Glenn Greenwald ‏@ggreenwald

    @Johngcole Someone should research whether you’re the only straight man with a cat named Zsa Zsa, because I’m pretty sure you are.

    And had to come over here to check as last I heard you had decided on Stella. Still I love Zsa Zsa.

  18. 18.

    dance around in your bones

    Also, did the much vaunted site upgrade ever happen? I haven’t noticed a durn thing different except the nym/email autofill seems to be holding strong lately.

    I still have no header anymore (no candy-striped half balloon and the search box with what I assume is Tunch’s tail) has been missing for months now – maybe because I use NoScript? PLEASE bring back the little guy with the striped pants and the cane and megaphone. It was SO apropos for this site.

    And I would STILL love to have the previous/next post at the bottom of the page.

  21. 21.

    kc

    I went into her room, said “Zsa Zsa,” and sh climbed out from under the spare bed, jumped on my lap and loved on me

    Pics or it didn’t happen!

  23. 23.

    Michael

    Did hilzoy explain to you why Zsa Zsa was the only rational choice in a patient, thoughtful essay gaming out all the other possibilities and highlighting their weaknesses?

    Cause that’s how I imagine she communicates always.

  31. 31.

    eemom

    @FlipYrWhig:

    Glenn Greenwald made a joke! I never thought I’d live to see the day.

    Also too, one predicated on offensive stereotypes. Wonder what’s come over him.

  33. 33.

    Villago Delenda Est

    OK, let’s hope she doesn’t get stopped for a minor traffic infraction and slug a cop.

  36. 36.

    JustRuss

    Zsa Zsa eh? I doubt that Tunch approves. Of course, that applies to about anything you do beyond feeding him, so what the hell.

  37. 37.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Baud:

    Pretty sure of that. Sure the housework, cooking and pets thing may say otherwise but Gordon Ramsey and Jamie Oliver are both married with kids, who am I to judge?

  40. 40.

    Ken J.

    Repeating myself from an hours-old thread last night: My wife pointed out that the shape of the cat in the photos, and John’s description of her size and needy affection, seem like perfect matches for our late, much-missed purebred Siberian. See Wikipedia for photos of generic Siberian cats.

    Anne Laurie mentioned the Maine Coon possibility last night. In my limited experience (one of each) the Siberian is quite a bit smaller than the Maine Coon and just a bit shyer. But once our Siberian decided she liked you, she was all over you, and she had this magic trick where she could twist and cling to you even when you were trying to detach her and put her on the ground.

  43. 43.

    TaMara (BHF)

    Great, now all I can picture is little zsa-zsa strolling up to John and purring, “Dahling, where’s the little girl’s box? And my milk should be warmed.”

  48. 48.

    NotMax

    Come to think of it, I strongly doubt that Ms. Gabor ever set foot in West Virginny.

    John, you do realize that there were 3 Gabor sisters? Now you’ll have to get an Eva and a Magda.

  52. 52.

    Roger Moore

    @eemom:

    Also too, one predicated on offensive stereotypes.

    People are generally given a free pass when the offensive stereotype they’re using is about a group they’re a member of. If Mr. Greenwald wants to make dumb jokes about gays being fabulous and caring about Zsa-Zsa Gabor, that’s his right.

  53. 53.

    different-church-lady

    You do realize you’re now going to have to type “Zsa Zsa” a hundred thousand times over the next year, yes? Work on that left pinky strength.

  54. 54.

    dr. bloor

    @NotMax:

    John, you do realize that there were 3 Gabor sisters? Now you’ll have to get an Eva and a Magda.

    Not to mention a pig named Arnold.

  55. 55.

    Mnemosyne

    @NotMax:

    Come to think of it, I strongly doubt that Ms. Gabor ever set foot in West Virginny.

    That’s why he probably should have gone for Eva over Zsa-Zsa — she was at least semi-plausible as someone who had been forced to forsake the city for the country.

  62. 62.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @sylvan: I think Green Acres was the best of the hayseed comedies, but Eva could never top Letterman’s “Eatin’ With Zsa Zsa“. IIRC, there was a London version involving Scotch eggs, fried Twinkies and spotted Dick.

  69. 69.

    Keith G

    @eemom: As Roger Moore pointed out, you don’t have a case, counselor. Just like other groups, we fagots get to re-purpose outsider stupidity. We just do it better.

    Yeah, GG got off a good one. Try not to be blinded by disaffection. I am sure very soon you will find a legitimate reason to cap him.

  70. 70.

    MikeJ

    @Woodrowfan:

    anybody else think of this scene from Godfather III when they hear “ZAZA”

    Godfather III? What are you talking about? They only made two.

    They. Only. Made. Two.

  72. 72.

    Keith G

    @eemom: As Roger Moore pointed out, you don’t have a case, counselor. Just like other groups, we fagots get to re-purpose outsider stupidity. We just do it better.

    Yeah, GG got off a good one. Try not to be blinded by disaffection. I am sure very soon you will find a legitimate reason to cap him.

  74. 74.

    MikeJ

    @NotMax:

    Fried Twinkies? How the Empire has degraded.

    For deep fried abominations, Scotland is the place to be. They invented the deep fried Snickers after all.

  77. 77.

    Keith G

    Sorry for the double….I got a site down for maintenance screen and as I backed out of it I must have re-sent.

    Bad Me.

  81. 81.

    gbear

    @MikeJ: the MN State Fair has a booth that sells ‘Scotch Eggs’ which is a hard boiled egg wrapped in sausage, rolled in breadcrumbs, and dropped into a deep frier. Served with horseradish sauce. I LOVE them.

    I don’t know how anyone who’s seen a deep-fried Snickers bar could ever eat one. They look like turds on a stick.

  87. 87.

    Jay C

    So you got your cat name directly from Hilary (aka Hilzoy The Sadly Abdicated Genius Queen of The Internet ) Bok ? What else would you ever want to do??

  89. 89.

    JPL

    Zsa-Zsa, Tunch, Lily and Rosie… So the dogs get the names of flowers and the cats get the names of ….

    edit.. tunch will be happy

  90. 90.

    gbear

    @sylvan:

    Eva Gabor was a victim of the Rural purge. Who knows what her fate would have been otherwise.

    The only possible ending for that show would have been Oliver finally going over the edge and mass-murdering the rest of the cast. I hated Green Acres.

  92. 92.

    Roger Moore

    @MikeJ:

    Godfather III? What are you talking about? They only made two.

    They. Only. Made. Two.

    I totally understand the desire to disown lousy sequels, but nobody can top “There should have been only one, Highlander!”

  94. 94.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @raven:

    Thanks for asking! Almost back to normal except for the foot, which is still a bit tender.

    Haven’t seen any financial paperwork from the hospital yet, but if they try to charge me so much as a nickel for any foot-related stuff, including the Tylenol I demanded for foot pain when it nearly had me weeping from sore the first night, I am going to instruct Cigna not to pay it. Let alone all the Xrays and the Ace bandage.

  104. 104.

    Mnemosyne

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    You can always have a lawyer friend write a nasty letter to their billing department if any charges for your foot show up. I’m sure they’d really prefer you not to sue them for pain and suffering if they try to charge you for the physical damage they did (oh, the pain, the pain …)

  105. 105.

    Roger Moore

    @efgoldman:
    You must not be a pet person at all, or you’d understand that adopting a new pet is a BFD. John is probably not posting about much else right now because he’s devoting all of his non-work attention to what’s going on with his pets right now. Give the man a break. His household is going through a major upheaval right now, so he may not have the time to blog as much as he usually would.

  106. 106.

    WereBear

    @Ken J.: What is even more likely (Siberians are rare,) and in the same gene pool (Northern natural longhairs) is the Norwegian Forest Cat; devoted, delightful, and decidely different (more than Maine Coons) between the sexes. Their girls are definitely ladies.

  107. 107.

    sylvan

    @gbear:

    I don’t feel sorry for him. Oliver was in a hell of his own making.

    Mr. Haney was the trickster he never should have trusted.

  111. 111.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @raven:

    Yes, I saw. Thought of waving to you as you whizzed by at oh-dark-thirty but opted for turning over and sleeping in.

  113. 113.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Mnemosyne:

    Not sure I have any actual “lawyer friends,” whatever those may be, but I expect there’s someone in my Rolodex Outlook contacts list who would oblige. Thanks for the suggestion. No offense to anyone here, but I never think of lawyers as a first resort.

  114. 114.

    MazeDancer

    @BarbCat:

    Dahlink

    Outstanding reference!

    ZsaZsa is very cute. Stella was fine, but, as many have noted there was no getting past that Marlon Brando in a torn t-shirt thing. Could hear him yelling every time “Stella” appeared in a post.

  115. 115.

    Luci

    Well… busy or no… we WANT pictures! Well, I want pictures. Sometimes the pictures here are the best thing that happens to me all day. Congratulations on getting the new arrival home, and I hope you are all snuggling and cuddling and getting to know one another. :) I’m thrilled and happy for you all. :)

  116. 116.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @JPL:

    Thanks, JPL. We should find a time to get together again anyhow, just because why not.

    Would still love to meet up with SIA and Raven and anyone else within a 60-mile radius, one of these times.

  117. 117.

    Mnemosyne

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Not necessarily a first resort, but lawyers are sometimes a useful thing to have in your back pocket when it comes to problems with hospitals and health insurance companies. It tends to focus their attention.

  118. 118.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Yutsano: There is nothing better than scotch eggs, made with real sausage meat, I have had my American pals beg me for the recipe, yet I cannot give it to them due to the lack of real sausage meat.

  119. 119.

    mai naem

    I’m just imagining Cole running around in his Subaru calling out for Zzzahhh Zzaaaahhhh. Heeeere girl, Zzzzzzahhh Zzzahhhh and his neighbors’ reaction to this.

  121. 121.

    NotMax

    @Litlebritdifrnt

    Say what, now?

    I’ve lived in lots of different states and communities, including way, way out in the boonies, and can’t recall ever being more than at most 20 miles (usually much less) from a store where they ground and spiced their own sausage meat daily, usually sold for people who preferred making patty sausages at home rather than link.

  122. 122.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Not being snarky, BTW. I think that’s probably a very good idea. I just can’t think of any lawyers I know offhand except a couple of very high-profile types whose initial consultation fees would probably bankrupt me. But I know them well enough to ask for a referral to a junior partner if it comes to that.

    Anyhow, I’ll wait and see what the mail brings in the next coup,e of weeks. Maybe the hospital will do the right thing and absorb all the costs of the foot accident. Maybe I will be blessed with a unicornucopia of rainbows and flower farts.

  123. 123.

    NotMax

    Whew. 90 minutes in the tropical sun spent doing asphalt driveway patching.

    Totally drained. This senior citizen gig is not what I signed up for; the prospectus glossed over quite a bit.

  124. 124.

    Raenelle

    Yeah. Zsa-Zsa fits. I’m glad you didn’t go with Stella. Stella entails at least a Stanley or Blanche, but probably both.

  125. 125.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @SiubhanDuinne: Glad you’re on the mend. And honestly, unless you’ve been charged with a criminal offense, no one should actually think of lawyers as a first resort.

    (Full disclosure: I still have a law license, but it is inactive while I do the needed NAMI director work, so that I’m undistracted from that “technically” part time mission.)

  126. 126.

    Mrs. Peel

    Thank FSM you decided on something with a little pizazz. You tend to wander off into elderly grandma territory with your choice of pet names.

  127. 127.

    Yutsano

    @Mnemosyne: I have a cabal of current and formal legal types I can summon for assistance in a hurry if necessary. I also have a Dawg about to hit Yale Law. He’s excited as hell about that. He’ll be awesome too.

  128. 128.

    MvR

    Put your cat name on the internet because it’s cool and unique. How long do you think that will last?

    Not that you had a choice.

  129. 129.

    NotMax

    @Yutsano

    Color me out of the loop.

    If you don’t mind being asked, have noticed you using the term Dawg many times, and really have no idea what it is supposed to represent.

  130. 130.

    Yutsano

    @NotMax: Dawg = one of Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children. AKA Teufelhund, jarhead, pick your term of choice for one of the Few and the Proud. There’s a special one in my life that I have a particular fondness for, so I mention him every now and again. I tell him I’m proud of him often but I’m not sure he know just how much.

  132. 132.

    eemom

    @NotMax:

    on a related note, I’ve always thought the Big Dawg nym suited Bill Clinton perfectly, but I never have known where he got it.

    @Keith G:

    psst: that joke? It wasn’t all that funny.

  133. 133.

    Yutsano

    @NotMax: Heh. I might keep that in my back pocket just in case he gets too full of himself. He’s a Leo, he needs the occasional deflation. :)

    @eemom: I wanna say it dates from his Arkansas governour days, but I could be wrong.

  139. 139.

    YellowJournalism

    @Raenelle:

    Yeah. Zsa-Zsa fits. I’m glad you didn’t go with Stella. Stella entails at least a Stanley or Blanche, but probably both.

    Well, Tunch could secretly belong to that group of Marlon Brando lookalikes. What was that acronym again…

  140. 140.

    Gemina13

    @MikeJ:

    I don’t know about deep-fried Twinkies, but I remember having a conversation with friends about another Scottish “delicacy”: deep-fried pizza.

    Apparently, you take a frozen pizza and let it thaw. Drizzle some concoction known as “brown sauce” over the toppings, and roll the pizza up into, well, a roll. Dredge it in bread crumbs, and then drop it into a deep fryer until it’s crisp and golden-brown. Serve with more brown sauce.

    I just recounted this to my SO, and his response was, “But pizza is good to us! Pizza loves us! What did pizza do to deserve that?!”

  144. 144.

    kindness

    John you know we all want video of all your critters meeting each other for the first time. You know we crave this.

  145. 145.

    Death Panel Truck

    @gbear:

    I hated Green Acres.

    Too bad. It was one of the best self-reflexive television shows ever made. A show that knew it was a show, as opposed to Petticoat Junction and the Beverly Hillbillies, both of which were just rock-fuck stupid.

  146. 146.

    Death Panel Truck

    @sylvan: Green Acres was either a show about a sane man living in a town full of nutjobs, or a nutjob living in a town full of sane people. I tend toward the latter. I think Oliver was the crazy one.

  147. 147.

    Ken J.

    @WereBear:

    Norwegian Forest Cat had been mentioned as a possibility earlier in the discussion. I have never met one, but this breed is described as large, while John C. describes Zsa Zsa as on the small side. Which tips me towards Siberian.

  148. 148.

    Mnemosyne

    @Ken J.:

    It can be hard to say, though. Our cat Annie looks like a perfect example of the classic Maine Coon, except that she’s tiny (under 10 pounds). Other than that, she has all of the markers: tufted ears, fuzzy snowshoe paws, etc. We call her our “midget Maine Coon.”

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