Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

People are complicated. Love is not.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Bark louder, little dog.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

I was promised a recession.

This fight is for everything.

Let’s finish the job.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

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Reader Interactions

131Comments

  3. 3.

    RaflW

    Some total knob at Time is tweeting his sense of just how inappropriate it was for FLOTUS to ‘inject herself’ into the Oscars.

    Cause I’m sure Michele called up the producers and said “Hey, get me on this show. I’m FLOTUS! Inject me!”

    Not at all surprising that Time has asshat reporters. But if that’s some dork @samgustin’s reaction, I can’t even imagine how el Rushbloat will react tomorrow.

  6. 6.

    CaseyL

    It was a real surprise, and a treat.

    Did the WH say who those folks in the background are? They might be military, but they look like the chorus from a Gilbert & Sullivan operetta.

    ETA: Oh, they are soldiers. Now I feel bad.

  10. 10.

    Jay C

    So how DID Michelle O get to be a remote guest presenter for the Oscars? Hubby threaten a drone strike on the Dolby Theater? (Targeted, one hopes, on Seth McFarlane’s cell phone)

  12. 12.

    srv

    Gosh durn can’t even watch the gosh durn liberal communist socialist marxist Hollywood awards without that socialist marxist woman showing up!

  14. 14.

    The Dangerman

    @RaflW:

    Poutrage!

    I’m not sure which will be the bigger poutrage; Michelle showing up or Affleck showing some concern about the suffering of Iranians. I’ll guess MO, but Ben will take a beating, too.

  15. 15.

    Nemo_N

    Cult of Personality! Egomaniac! Not my Country!

    Seriously, I can hear wingnut heads popping up from my seat.

  17. 17.

    Yutsano

    FYWP. No really.

    @Bloix: She wasn’t “there”. It was broadcast from the White House judging by the backgrounds. And maybe because she was asked. Why would it be inappropriate? She’s an articulate speaker and a great advocate for the arts.

  20. 20.

    Spaghetti Lee

    This sort of thing ever happen before?

    I don’t have any problem on principle with Mrs. Obama presenting, but I almost wish she didn’t because the media whine-fest will be intolerable.

    @Nemo_N:

    Yes, exactly that. There are some conservatives out there who seriously think that the Obamas want to be the next Kim family, and any public appearances, even on official business, are just to fool people into worshipping them as gods. Their own fetishistic worship of Ronald Reagan, of course, is totally different.

  23. 23.

    RaflW

    @Suffern ACE:

    Why didn’t the Press Secretary tell everyone in D.C. this morning about the surprise?! How dare they keep the secret a secret. From the very serious reporters!

  25. 25.

    pseudonymous in nc

    @RaflW:

    Some total knob at Time is tweeting his sense of just how inappropriate it was for FLOTUS to ‘inject herself’ into the Oscars.

    Yeah, because it’s not as if Hollywood contributes anything to the economy or is a US export industry.

  26. 26.

    Mike E

    Well, I suppose Laura Bush shouldn’t have started it by presenting that 2003 best adapted screenplay Oscar, then. ;p

  27. 27.

    Suzanne

    Michelle’s dress is an absolute stunner. I have always been very fond of the fashion and design of the 1920s, and her dress honored that so fabulously.

  28. 28.

    The Other Chuck

    I so wanted Jack to tell her to lose the bangs. But after that speech, I guess it’d be as bad as anything by Seth McFarlane (dare I say, worst host ever?)

    Heck, Barack’s just okay in his measured halting way, the real orator in the White House is Michelle.

  29. 29.

    RaflW

    @YellowJournalism: I’m wondering that.

    Do they actually enjoy seeing the right wing flip their shite over what most people will go “huh?” over, maybe even try to prompt that reaction?

  30. 30.

    Joel

    I thought Kristen Stewart had taken too many drugs until I saw Renee Zellweiggers performance tonight. Ho lee shit.

  35. 35.

    max

    @CaseyL: It was a real surprise, and a treat.

    Something I feel bad about missing. Good thing there’s youtube!

    Did the WH say who those folks in the background are? They might be military, but they look like the chorus from a Gilbert & Sullivan operetta.

    They might be military band uniforms. (Maybe they gave the Marine band another shot, what with all the bitching about the lip-syncing.)

    max
    [‘Cool.’]

  39. 39.

    NotMax

    Oscars backslapaganza barely started to telecast here.

    Not that I’m planning on watching, in any case.

  40. 40.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @The Other Chuck:

    Worse than Billy Crystal last year? Or James Franco the year before that?

    I mean, he hit some flat notes, but so does every host. I don’t think he was that bad, and I don’t get the reason for all the hate (beyond, ‘being Seth MacFarlane’, which is, I admit, a valid excuse.)

    My expectations were so low for him that I considered not watching. Maybe that factors into it, but I thought he was decent at least.

  43. 43.

    BarbCat

    Best thing about the Argo win (besides that it was my favorite too): “Rush Limbaugh just saw Michelle Obama give best picture to a film where the heroes are Canada, Hollywood and Jimmy Carter.” ~John Fugelsang

  44. 44.

    Hill Dweller

    @max: The Governors Ball was held at the WH tonight. The people behind her are military personnel in their dress uniforms. They help with ceremonies at the WH. It was actually pretty cool of the FLOTUS to have them in the background.

  45. 45.

    Alison

    @Joel: In Kristen’s defense, she showed up to the red carpet on crutches, so she may have been on some painkillers. Also, I just like her.

    Renee, I don’t get. Sometimes I wonder if she never fully got out of her Nurse Betty character mode…

  46. 46.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @freelancer:

    Among the hurt butts:

    Anti-American Hollywood thanks Canada & Iran but not God.

    They were actually considering God for the F/X work, but he had too many other projects going on. That’s show biz, kid.

  47. 47.

    YellowJournalism

    On Twitter via Andy Richter:

    @JohnFugelsang: Rush Limbaugh just saw Michelle Obama give #oscars2013 best picture to a film where the heroes are Canada, Hollywood & Jimmy Carter.

  49. 49.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @Alison:

    I don’t get all the Kristen Stewart-hate. I mean, yeah, she was in the Twilight movies, but we all make mistakes, right?

    Now, Jack Nicholson, I couldn’t tell if he was balls-out drunk or just playing the part. That’s his mystique, I guess.

  50. 50.

    TS

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    I don’t have any problem on principle with Mrs. Obama presenting, but I almost wish she didn’t because the media whine-fest will be intolerable.

    Be a nice change from benghazi and sequester. The WHPC can only handle one topic at a time. 63 questions Monday related to how/when/where and why was FLOTUS scheduled to appear at the oscars – why weren’t the people told about this. We have a right to see and know these things.

  52. 52.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    Wow, you must have really hated the two previous years’ hosting jobs, because, in the previous thread, you seemed to really not like this year’s.

  54. 54.

    Mike E

    The “lovely parting gift” basket given out to Oscar attendees–valued at $44,000. Is this true?

  55. 55.

    Violet

    @Joel: Did you see Renee’s interview right before the show started? She looked and sounded drunk or high. Her hair looked like she put it up on her way back from the gym. What happened to her?

  59. 59.

    Hill Dweller

    Apparently Reagan taped a message for the ’81 Oscars(while he was President), which will be an awesome rebuttal to the wingnut poutrage.

  60. 60.

    YellowJournalism

    @Violet: I miss Renee from the EmpireRecords and Jerry Maguire days.

    And this:

    @UPPastryPlate: There’s funny and then there is just mean, cruel and lazy. #Oscars2013 was the latter.

    Sums it up. I can handle cruel and crude humor, but most of those jokes just felt flat and false, like they were trying too hard to shock people. I understand The Onion may have truly gone over-the-line, though, tonight.

  63. 63.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    Fair enough. I think you know how I felt about McFarlane. He dropped a dime on himself early, during with the Shatner bit.

  64. 64.

    The Republic of Stupidity

    @Mike E:

    The “lovely parting gift” basket given out to Oscar attendees–valued at $44,000. Is this true?

    I believe it’s called ‘swag’ and I can imagine it might actually be worth that much…

    Those folks go completely over the top at a time like this…

  65. 65.

    redheadedfemme

    @Spaghetti Lee: How about that little segment sexually harassing Sally Field? Or complaining about how no one can understand Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz or Salma Heyek (because of their Spanish accents)? Also, mistaking Eddie Murphy for (I believe) Denzel Washington because, hey, he can’t tell those black actors apart?

  66. 66.

    Joel

    Wife and I were pretty unoffended by McFarlane. Might be a generational thing. The guy does love Hollywood, that’s for sure.

  67. 67.

    Mnemosyne

    @Mike E:

    Yeah, probably. When I volunteered with the American Cinematheque, one of our duties at their annual fundraiser was to distribute the gift bags.

    Many of us still curse the name of Maria Schriver, who decided that the bags for Schwarzenegger’s event were “too skimpy” so we had to spend the whole damn event re-stuffing them with more stuff.

  68. 68.

    Jay C

    @Violet:

    Word. Renee Zellweger looked like a Bad Hair Day on legs -the one I couldn’t understand was Jennifer Aniston: well made-up, gorgeous dress, and her hair – dead straight as it is – looked she hadn’t’t bothered to comb it since Friday…

  69. 69.

    Mnemosyne

    @redheadedfemme:

    Given that Sally Field ended up making out with him at the end of the bit, I’m not sure that counts as “sexual harassment.”

    The race jokes were much worse, especially when you throw in the Jewish jokes.

  70. 70.

    Mike E

    Tho, to be fair, Jamie Foxx ID’ed himself as Denzel during a promo jaunt with DiCaprio & Tarantino…

  71. 71.

    YellowJournalism

    @redheadedfemme: To be fair, that last joke was probably more about pointing and laughing at those who make te same mistake all the time in major media, like George Stephanopolus.

  73. 73.

    TG Chicago

    @Mike E: If this was intended purely as a joke, then you were closer than you may have realized:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/74th_Academy_Awards

    Documentary filmmaker Errol Morris…made a short film that was shown during the ceremony. The film shows almost 100 people discussing movies. Those featured range from Laura Bush and Mikhail Gorbachev to Iggy Pop and Lou Reed to Kenneth Arrow (1972 Nobel Laureate in Economics) to Morris’ son Hamilton.

    That was in 2002, not 2003, and it was a taped segment, not a presentation. But still — pretty close!

  75. 75.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @Mnemosyne:

    Remember way back when, in the days when DougJ was only a spoofed right-wing troll and not an FPer here? How he’d write these groaners that one might take seriously if he didn’t occasionally chime in with a, “Hey, this is the guy in the cubicle next to Doug, and lemme tell ya, he’s batshit!” Remember how he’d catch shit for typically lame-ass wingnut screeds?

    That’s what McFarlane did tonight, live, on television sets across the world.

  78. 78.

    Suffern ACE

    @The Republic of Stupidity: I would assume that that is for the major award nominees so that there will be as few no shows as possible. Giving that much to all the attendees would be 100 million if the theater held 2500 people. Nothing says has been award show if the winners don’t bother to come.

  79. 79.

    Mike E

    @TG Chicago: I was joking, but, wow. Helluva Oscars that year! With Halle Berry making history, as well as Mulholland Drive, too, but for different reasons. Also.

  80. 80.

    eemom

    I think it was absolutely inappropriate for the FLOTUS to have anything to do with this POS, wealth-soaked shitfest. The fact that other WH officials may have done so in the past — especially St Ronnie, what a role model — makes it no less so.

    JMFO.

  81. 81.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Spaghetti Lee: I’m going with in on the joke — the whole “boobs” routine looked to me like it was spliced with pre-recorded offended expressions, and then the one thumbs-up from Jennifer Lawrence.

  82. 82.

    Hill Dweller

    @Yutsano: Those military personnel work at the WH every day, but due to the Governors Ball being held tonight(Sunday), they’re wearing dress uniforms.

    Next time there is a medal ceremony or some other event, you’ll see those same military personnel, albeit dressed slightly differently.

  83. 83.

    The Republic of Stupidity

    @Suffern ACE:

    You might be right about that…

    I do know they (the people handing the baskets out) go absolutely bonkers for the Oscars…

    Wel dang… I just checked on the Intertubes and some outlets are saying those baskets are worth more like $75K per and only go to the nominees…

    Hollywood (read film) people see themselves as the pinnacle of Western Civilization and the Oscars are the pinnacle of that pinnacle…

  84. 84.

    pseudonymous in nc

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    I got the feeling that most of the targets were in on the joke, especially Field.

    Of course, but it doesn’t take away the ick. Like I said in the other thread, there was a weird throwbackish feel to the night — McFarlane sounds like he should be reading out cigarette sponsors on 50s panel shows anyway — that accentuated the time bubble that the Oscars already inhabit.

  85. 85.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @Suffern ACE:

    Sure, but what’s $44,000 to the likes of Robert De Niro or Steven Spielberg? Either way, if it was $44,000 worth of high-end booze, I hope they at least swapped in some candy and soda for Quvenzhane Wallis’ basket.

  92. 92.

    Mnemosyne

    Just to drive the haterz even more nuts: I happen to know that the CEO of the corporation that owns ABC has a photo of himself with the president on display in his office. That may be another reason why FLOTUS was willing to make an appearance.

    ETA: And the fact that the movie industry as a whole donated millions and millions of dollars to his recent campaign probably didn’t hurt either.

  93. 93.

    Suffern ACE

    @Spaghetti Lee: yeah. But if it helps you rationalize it a bit, if someone gave you a nice basket full of stuff for 44,000, you’d have to sell some if it to pay the taxes. You couldn’t afford to keep the nice gifts. So it’s probably better that you get a whitmans sampler and a few bananas in yours.

  97. 97.

    ? Martin

    @Suffern ACE: The baskets are only given to nominees from what I understand. It’s not so much an incentive to come (who the fuck skips out on the Oscars – that’s gonna hurt your career to not attend when you’re a nominee) but some of the swag like the trips are at worst break even if the celebrity shows up and spreads some money, and are often worth the promotional value of having their stuff seen on the celeb.

    My wife grew up with an Oscar winner from a few years ago (gave the speech and everything – one of the technical awards) and he went through all of the stuff that he got – it was quite a haul. I don’t recall it being worth $75K, but it was worth a lot – easy $15K+. He’s not a rich guy (it was one of the technical awards that merits the big day, not the day before) but it did help offset the cost of attending. His wife did not have a red-carpet appropriate dress, and they are not famous enough to merit being comped by a designer, so the evening cost them a fair bit. She was way out of her depth on this and found the whole thing fascinating/overwhelming. Texted us photos all through the show, which was really cool. Last time I watched. Pretty close to the first time, too.

  98. 98.

    PurpleGirl

    I don’t know if they always had goody bags for the nominees but once you start to hand those gifts out, it’s almost impossible to stop having them. And the event planners have to spend huge amounts of time on getting the products. Much of it is donated by the manufacturers who hope a product placement will lead to PR and sales.

    (The non-profit I worked for began to give a gift to each attendee and the “opening meeting” (beginning of year volunteer rally). We would try to get some things donated and buy other things. It got expensive when you need 1,200 goody bags. Benefits also called for goody bags, although with different kinds of stuff. People come to expect the goody bag and get mad when you try to stop giving them out.)

  100. 100.

    Calouste

    I see that the goodie bag includes a $16000 trip to a luxury resort in the Maldives and a $12000 trip to something similar in Belize.

    To places like that it is just another way to attract other customers with way too much money who want to have a chance to meet a movie star in the swimming pool. For those companies, it is an investment, not a gift.

  101. 101.

    The Republic of Stupidity

    @Calouste:

    Yes, that rather is the whole point of the exercise, for those doing the gifting…

    Which is why the gifting gets so extravagant… the gifters are really, really hoping to attract that high end crowd….

  102. 102.

    PeakVT

    @Calouste: Everything in the bag is marketing in one way or another.

    When did analyzing the swag bag become a phenomenon, anyway? It’s bizarre. I blame Robin Leach.

  103. 103.

    NotMax

    @Amir Khalid

    Reminded of the acerbic statement from a reviewer at the time of one of the more awful low-budget SF movies of the mid-50s.

    Movie was The She-Creature, and the reviewer made the comment (paraphrasing here) that it was apparent to him that the lion’s share of the movie’s budget must have been spent on Brylcream for the leading man’s hair.

  104. 104.

    TriassicSands

    @redheadedfemme:

    Sorry no, he was not decent. He was a sexist, racist, fat-hating, Latino-hating, woman-hating prick. His jokes were mean. They were not funny.

    I saw your comment and, without having read the comment you were responding to, I assumed, immediately, that you were talking about Seth McFarlane, because that’s pretty much how I’d describe him based on the limited amount of his work product I’ve seen. And it’s limited because I think it’s some of the most worthless unfunny crap around. An acquaintance of mine told me I had to watch “Family Guy.” I watched one show and couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Twenty-plus minutes and I never even smiled, but I was offended. I a genuine WASP (except the one part of that that’s voluntary — the P — I gave up on decades ago. Not much I can do about the white Anglo-Saxon parts.) The acquaintance encouraged me to give it another try: I must have just hit a bad show. So, I tried again, and then several times more, and I was repulsed without being even slightly entertained or amused. I’ve seen McFarlane in some other contexts and he struck me as a self-satisfied, adolescent prick.

    Tastes vary, and probably as much or more concerning humor as with anything, but McFarlane’s humor seemed to depend entirely on offending one group after another. It’s the kind of garbage I’d expect Limbaugh to love. Somewhere along the line McFarlane must have gotten the idea that if something is not PC, it must be funny. I haven’t watched the Oscars in a long, long time, but this year I would have boycotted it because of their choice of host.

  106. 106.

    Cheryl from Maryland

    @TriassicSands: Same here. I do not understand why Seth McFarlane is considered funny. I don’t understand why he gets prime time for his animated series and why Futurama was consigned to death until revived by Adult Swim and Comedy Central. Family Guy, Cleveland, American Dad are all boring visually, and the humor is garbage. And I find South Park, Archer, and Robot Chicken (as well as
    Futurama) hilarious.

  107. 107.

    the lost puppy

    No one could possibly care less about the Oscars than me.

    Knowing about that piece of garbage Silver Linings is enough.

  109. 109.

    Robin G.

    @Djur: Jennifer Lawrence is incredible — I think she’s this generation’s Meryl Streep — but this wasn’t the role that should have won her the award. It was a cookie-cutter indie hipster chick in a movie remarkable only for how much potential it wasted. It wasn’t even her best role this year (that was Katniss in The Hunger Games, which had a lot of issues as a movie but gave Lawrence a better scope for her talents). I’m very happy for her, and particularly because this means she’ll get more interviews and those are always hilarious, but the Oscar should have been Quvenzhané Wallis’s. She carried the whole film on those itty-bitty shoulders.

  110. 110.

    Robert

    I saw someone participating in a GLBT friendly film site’s Oscar play by play chat flip out about the liberal indoctrination of our nation’s youth and how inappropriate it was for FLOTUS to show up and spew propaganda when she stepped out. Wrong audience, wingnut.

  112. 112.

    quannlace

    The “lovely parting gift” basket given out to Oscar attendees–valued at $44,000. Is this true?

    Pretty much. That’s why the IRS has made grumbles lately that people have to report it as income.

  114. 114.

    A Humble Lurker

    @TriassicSands:
    MacFarlane is a good singer, and pretty good with voices. That’s about the only thing I can say about him entertainment wise.

    I think it’s not so much his offensive jokes that bother me (even though it’s not my kind of humor) it’s that he’s lame. Those offensive jokes are all he has and he delivers them like they’re solid plated gold. He’s like that weird uncle at your family parties who thinks he’s way funnier than he is and tells the same jokes over and over because he thinks the reason everyone isn’t in hysterics is because they didn’t hear them.

    Anyway, FLOTUS was a lovely surprise, and I totally dug her dress.

  115. 115.

    Mnemosyne

    @A Humble Lurker:

    He’s like that weird uncle at your family parties who thinks he’s way funnier than he is and tells the same jokes over and over because he thinks the reason everyone isn’t in hysterics is because they didn’t hear them.

    I am stealing this opinion for my water-cooler discussions of the Oscars at work today because you, sir or madam, are spot-on.

  118. 118.

    KXB

    If FLOTUS wants to enjoy herself at the Oscars, I’ve got no issue with that. But using the military as a prop? Not cool.

  120. 120.

    Kathy in St. Louis

    When I saw Michelle Obama on the Oscars last night, my first thought was about how totally and completely pissed the right was going to be about this. It actually improved the entire broadcast for me. These people would bitch if your gave them a bushel basket full of 10 dollar bills because they weren’t twenties. They just can’t stand that this cool and lovely lady is living in the White House. They hated Hillary, too, but this one just galls them no end.

  121. 121.

    Kathy in St. Louis

    Did anyone else think that the joke the host made (who is this guy, anyway?)about John Wilkes Booth being an actor that got into Lincoln’s head was, without a doubt, one of the most tasteless lines ever uttered? Ever, ever, ever? I had to turn the station for a while because I was so embarrassed and disgusted.

  124. 124.

    KXB

    @xian:

    Not really. It was embarrassing when Dubya put on a flight suit and pretended to be a pilot. FLOTUS was nowhere near as bad. But I would not have noticed if it was just her and some of her civilian aides. It is not trolling to point out we do not have a royal guard.

  125. 125.

    wenchacha

    I enjoy Family Guy, but I know it’s not everybody’s cup of tea. That said, I really don’t like to watch Seth MacFarlane in his human form.

    He seems to have the same irritating thing going on that makes me loathe Rich Little.

  126. 126.

    kc

    @FlipYrWhig:

    Yeah, that’s what it looked like to me as well. I was just hoping one of the actresses would throw in a dick joke later, but I guess that didn’t happen (I had to switch away for The Walking Dead, of course).

  128. 128.

    MCA1

    @Robin G.: No. No one that young can have anywhere near the depth of experience and wisdom about the world to give a nuanced performance worthy of winning an award over adults who’ve studied and worked at their craft for years, or decades. Or even over someone in their late teens or early 20’s, who has some grasp of the adult world. I don’t really disagree that Lawrence’s performance might not have been ultimately worthy of the award, or that it was probably her third best, or that her performance/role in Winter’s Bone was revelationary in a way more worthy of winning an Oscar. But Wallis, as with Haley Joel Osment and Anna Paquin and others, are the right childish personalities in the right films at the right time. Brilliant casting choices more than anything. They’re not capable of engaging a viewer psychologically and emotionally the way an adult is. The Oscars should go back to having a junior award for those sorts of performances, if they feel it necessary to reward precocious kids.

  130. 130.

    phoebes-in-santa fe

    I’d never heard Kristin Chenowith speak but she sounds like a demented chipmunk. And she kept calling everyone “baby”. I hated her with a red-hot passion last night.

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