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When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

A dilettante blog from the great progressive state of West Virginia.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Accountability, motherfuckers.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

You are here: Home / Austin Meet-up Part 2

Austin Meet-up Part 2

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I see in just a few short hours you all have managed to turn a simple bar trip into a hodge podge of unwieldy demands and desires:

“I can’t hear well!”

“Traffic sucks in Austin, can it be right next to my house?”

“Live music would be nice.”

“No live music so we can talk.”

“As long as it isn’t downtown.”

I am in the downtown section of Austin. Is there any chance you all can find something closer to downtown where we can still hear each other, has decent food, etc.

For the record, I can’t hear anything in restaurants or bars, either, but I kind of like it because it gives me an excuse to not listen to people. My traveling companion Matt and I are both unable to hear in clangy restaurants, but have worked out a drunken communication style that resembles Bunk and McNulty from the Wire.

BTW, I am free anytime after 6pm. My only requirement is the bar have scotch. And you will have no problem finding me. I’m the fat blonde haired guy with a greying goatee and ill fitting clothes. I’ll also most likely be wearing shorts because two days ago I was in 12 degree weather.

Ideally, one of you all will take care of the planning of this epic clusterfuck and just tell me where to go. Also, no cameras.

*** Update ***

How about Banger’s or Easy Tiger? Banger’s has a nice outdoor patio where noise should not be as much of an issue. Easy Tiger has an amazing list of whiskey, so who gives a shit about noise?

Reader Interactions

58Comments

  2. 2.

    Carnacki

    Why can’t you dress nicer? Why aren’t you in my neighborhood? That place has terrible appetizers! Why didn’t you bring Tunch/Rosie/Scarlett Johansson?

  7. 7.

    Marmot

    Ye gods, what was I saying? Dog & Duck pub is better than Opal. Maybe too far for Cole?

  8. 8.

    Bruce s

    “No cameras” is no longer a category in the world that actually exists. (Are you afraid you’ll be caught insulting 47% of Balloon Juice commenters?)

  9. 9.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    @Marmot:

    Agreed, unless someone’s willing to ferry a grumpy Cole all over town.

    And dammit Cole, ask my wife just how much fun it is to carry on a conversation when my half consists almost entirely of “What? I didn’t catch that.”

  11. 11.

    Amir Khalid

    I predict there will be photos of John Cole covering his face with one hand, while flipping the bird at the picture taker.

  12. 12.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Mugshots, 7pm. Cheap beer and food.

    There, it’s done. You’re welcome.

  16. 16.

    Lolis

    Bangers is an impossible parking situation. Easy Tiger is better. I am not a fan of German cuisine/beer but I will suffer in silence.

  17. 17.

    jl

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Sounds like Cole is gong to be SF drunk on an amazing list of whiskey. So I’ll check for pics of him falling down (or fallen down) and not getting up late tonight. Thnx.

  18. 18.

    kc

    Why do you only want to meet people in Austin? Don’t you like the rest of us? What have we ever done to you?

  19. 19.

    Marcelo

    Bangers is absolutely fabulous, as is Easy Tiger. I’m down for either of those. Mugshots is probably the easiest parking-wise though. And it’s a boss place.

    Easy Tiger, I’ve only been in the mornings for the bakery, so I’m totally down to go there and sample everything, especially if their whiskey collection is so epic.

    So in summary, whatever you guys want is fine. I won’t be able to be there til 8ish, and then I’ll have to leave at 9 so I probably shouldn’t be making demands on all y’all.

  20. 20.

    kindness

    How about doing a Balloon-Juice Bar Crawl?

    @jl: apparently no one should forget their permanent markers….

  21. 21.

    Marcelo

    @Lolis: Agreed about parking at Bangers, it’s a nightmare, but I didn’t want to say anything. Mugshots and Easy Tiger are close enough that you could theoretically hop between the two.

  24. 24.

    Citizen_X

    While we’re whining, can we please get the rotating taglines back, and add “a hodge podge of unwieldy demands and desires:” to the list?

  26. 26.

    max

    I’m the fat blonde haired guy with a greying goatee and ill fitting clothes. I’ll also most likely be wearing shorts

    So you haven’t had pants since the Democratic convention! I knew it!

    Also, having your face alternating between scabby bits and patches of badly-shorn beard would be pretty punk rock. But this goatee thing is so redneck, man.

    max
    [‘You could go to Sixth and Congress and just wait for people to show up.’]

  28. 28.

    Ryan

    I can’t make it – but if yall go somewhere with a good whiskey selection, somebody have a Balcones for me.

  33. 33.

    Comrade Mary

    @NotMax:

    Jeez Louise, the invasion of Normandy involved less planning.

    I’m thinking it will be more like the Norman Conquest.

    If photos aren’t permitted, can y’all invite some speed-embroiderers instead?

  35. 35.

    Marcelo

    Does Mugshots have scotch? That might be a dealbreaker for Cole. Otherwise Easy Tiger is pretty much in the same place and has great beer/food AND whiskey.

  36. 36.

    TaMara (BHF)

    Excuse me? John Cole is going out in public and actually meeting up with BJ peeps? And now he says no pictures? I call bullshit. We weren’t invited, we get photo diary.

    Either that, or Cole starts out on his 50-state tour immediately after departing Austin.

  37. 37.

    Ryan

    Ok if it is Tuesday night and at Easy Tiger, who I see makes an Old Fashioned with Balcones True Blue, then I might have to be in.

  40. 40.

    dance around in your bones

    @jl:

    Sounds like Cole is gong to be SF drunk on an amazing list of whiskey. So I’ll check for pics of him falling down (or fallen down) and not getting up late tonight. Thnx.

    Perhaps somebody could sneak a few pics once Cole is passed out flat on the floor with obscene drawings and words drawn on his face with a Sharpie.

    That would be fun.

    @jl: apparently no one should forget their permanent markers….

    Gawdammit! Foiled again!

  41. 41.

    srv

    I’m the fat blonde haired guy with a greying goatee and ill fitting clothes.

    You and Leslie could have been an item.

  42. 42.

    Marcelo

    @Ryan: Are you the Ryan I know with the best dog in the world? I was gonna contact you about this. And bring Bernice, Easy Tiger is dog friendly!!!

  45. 45.

    Sandia Blanca

    In spite of my previously expressed preferences, I will show up even if it’s downtown. No opinion on the three places mentioned, so vote for place with parking. (If not, there’s always car2go.)

  47. 47.

    Marcelo

    @Sandia Blanca: I have a sneaking suspicion that you could commit murder in broad daylight but if you drove off in a car2go the police would be legally unable to prosecute you. With all the parking perks they get downtown, why shouldn’t they just be allowed to run people over?

  49. 49.

    danielx

    Ideally, one of you all will take care of the planning of this epic clusterfuck and just tell me where to go. Also, no cameras.

    Now that sounds more like the Cole I’ve observed in this place. All that sociability was making me suspicious.

  50. 50.

    Nob Akimoto

    Easy Tiger has a nice whiskey selection, but it’s hideously overpriced. You can get a fifth of the same stuff down the street at the Twin Liquors at 7th and Red River for the same price as a single of whatever at Easy Tiger.

  51. 51.

    Melville

    I vote for Banger’s. It has a little more room to spread out and parking is marginally easier (though you may have to use a pay lot). It’s in the Rainey St. neighborhood which is an up and coming bar and restaurant scene (hipster warning). Easy Tiger is nice but it’s in the 6th st. bar district which is kind of tired and college-kid heavy. Rainey has a more Austin Weird vibe.

  53. 53.

    Nob Akimoto

    Rainey Street is definitely a better option.

    Lustre Pearl and Icenhauer’s both have good outdoor seating and spreading options and are affordable.

    You can always get food at the food trailers nearby and have them bring it to you, or you can pregame by eating at Ironworks or the aforementioned trailers.

  54. 54.

    Marcelo

    Either one is fine, I just tremble in fear when I consider having to park near Rainey St. But I’ll get over it. Also, Iron Works. Good call.

    So let’s lock this down. Are we going to Bangers? Is this set? Can we, at long last, make a final decision?

  56. 56.

    Sentient Puddle

    I probably will skip it because I’m one of those misanthropes about downtown, but Banger’s would be a good pick. Their wall of taps is almost overwhelming in the “I’ve died and gone to heaven” sense.

  58. 58.

    Marcelo

    Rainey St. parking makes me sad, but Squid is right, it shouldn’t be terrible on a Tuesday. Come on down, Puddle!

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