I see in just a few short hours you all have managed to turn a simple bar trip into a hodge podge of unwieldy demands and desires:
“I can’t hear well!”
“Traffic sucks in Austin, can it be right next to my house?”
“Live music would be nice.”
“No live music so we can talk.”
“As long as it isn’t downtown.”
I am in the downtown section of Austin. Is there any chance you all can find something closer to downtown where we can still hear each other, has decent food, etc.
For the record, I can’t hear anything in restaurants or bars, either, but I kind of like it because it gives me an excuse to not listen to people. My traveling companion Matt and I are both unable to hear in clangy restaurants, but have worked out a drunken communication style that resembles Bunk and McNulty from the Wire.
BTW, I am free anytime after 6pm. My only requirement is the bar have scotch. And you will have no problem finding me. I’m the fat blonde haired guy with a greying goatee and ill fitting clothes. I’ll also most likely be wearing shorts because two days ago I was in 12 degree weather.
Ideally, one of you all will take care of the planning of this epic clusterfuck and just tell me where to go. Also, no cameras.
*** Update ***
How about Banger’s or Easy Tiger? Banger’s has a nice outdoor patio where noise should not be as much of an issue. Easy Tiger has an amazing list of whiskey, so who gives a shit about noise?
CB
from the refrigerator scene, no doubt
Carnacki
Why can’t you dress nicer? Why aren’t you in my neighborhood? That place has terrible appetizers! Why didn’t you bring Tunch/Rosie/Scarlett Johansson?
schrodinger's cat
Grumpy human is grumpy.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
No cameras. Right.
Marmot
In that case Opal Devine downtown might be the best of the options from thread #1.
jl
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):
” No cameras. Right. ”
Cole will do pat downs? Who will arrange security? Who will get backstage passes for the after-meet-up party?
Marmot
Ye gods, what was I saying? Dog & Duck pub is better than Opal. Maybe too far for Cole?
Bruce s
“No cameras” is no longer a category in the world that actually exists. (Are you afraid you’ll be caught insulting 47% of Balloon Juice commenters?)
Grumpy Code Monkey
@Marmot:
Agreed, unless someone’s willing to ferry a grumpy Cole all over town.
And dammit Cole, ask my wife just how much fun it is to carry on a conversation when my half consists almost entirely of “What? I didn’t catch that.”
JPL
@Marmot: As an unbiased outsider, just make the decision and tell John to put it up on the front page.
Amir Khalid
I predict there will be photos of John Cole covering his face with one hand, while flipping the bird at the picture taker.
Just Some Fuckhead
Mugshots, 7pm. Cheap beer and food.
There, it’s done. You’re welcome.
schrodinger's cat
@jl: He is bringing Tunch as his bodyguard. The not so secret, Secret Service.
Lolis
Mugshots sounds good to me.
Omnes Omnibus
@Lolis:
Mugshots sound more like an inevitability.
Lolis
Bangers is an impossible parking situation. Easy Tiger is better. I am not a fan of German cuisine/beer but I will suffer in silence.
jl
@schrodinger’s cat:
Sounds like Cole is gong to be SF drunk on an amazing list of whiskey. So I’ll check for pics of him falling down (or fallen down) and not getting up late tonight. Thnx.
kc
Why do you only want to meet people in Austin? Don’t you like the rest of us? What have we ever done to you?
Marcelo
Bangers is absolutely fabulous, as is Easy Tiger. I’m down for either of those. Mugshots is probably the easiest parking-wise though. And it’s a boss place.
Easy Tiger, I’ve only been in the mornings for the bakery, so I’m totally down to go there and sample everything, especially if their whiskey collection is so epic.
So in summary, whatever you guys want is fine. I won’t be able to be there til 8ish, and then I’ll have to leave at 9 so I probably shouldn’t be making demands on all y’all.
kindness
How about doing a Balloon-Juice Bar Crawl?
@jl: apparently no one should forget their permanent markers….
Marcelo
@Lolis: Agreed about parking at Bangers, it’s a nightmare, but I didn’t want to say anything. Mugshots and Easy Tiger are close enough that you could theoretically hop between the two.
NotMax
Jeez Louise, the invasion of Normandy involved less planning.
/hyperbole
Omnes Omnibus
@kindness:
Yeah, nothing could go wrong with that.
Citizen_X
While we’re whining, can we please get the rotating taglines back, and add “a hodge podge of unwieldy demands and desires:” to the list?
jl
@Omnes Omnibus:
“How about doing a Balloon-Juice Bar Crawl?”
People will be able to crawl? That plan might be too ambitious.
max
I’m the fat blonde haired guy with a greying goatee and ill fitting clothes. I’ll also most likely be wearing shorts
So you haven’t had pants since the Democratic convention! I knew it!
Also, having your face alternating between scabby bits and patches of badly-shorn beard would be pretty punk rock. But this goatee thing is so redneck, man.
max
[‘You could go to Sixth and Congress and just wait for people to show up.’]
Redshirt
An implied presence, but still not directly stated.
Money on Cole showing? Gamble here.
Ryan
I can’t make it – but if yall go somewhere with a good whiskey selection, somebody have a Balcones for me.
Gordon, the Big Express Engine
Rooftop iron cactus!
(Just kidding)
David Koch
More cowbell
electricgrendel
Goddammit. I work tonight.
Marmot
So yeah. What’s the verdict? Mugshots? Never been, but I’m game.
Comrade Mary
@NotMax:
I’m thinking it will be more like the Norman Conquest.
If photos aren’t permitted, can y’all invite some speed-embroiderers instead?
Marcelo
@electricgrendel: Good thing it’s scheduled for tomorrow. :)
Marcelo
Does Mugshots have scotch? That might be a dealbreaker for Cole. Otherwise Easy Tiger is pretty much in the same place and has great beer/food AND whiskey.
TaMara (BHF)
Excuse me? John Cole is going out in public and actually meeting up with BJ peeps? And now he says no pictures? I call bullshit. We weren’t invited, we get photo diary.
Either that, or Cole starts out on his 50-state tour immediately after departing Austin.
Ryan
Ok if it is Tuesday night and at Easy Tiger, who I see makes an Old Fashioned with Balcones True Blue, then I might have to be in.
Punchy
No cameras!!! No phones then, eh? Get real
imonlylurking
I haz a jealous.
dance around in your bones
@jl:
Perhaps somebody could sneak a few pics once Cole is passed out flat on the floor with obscene drawings and words drawn on his face with a Sharpie.
That would be fun.
@jl: apparently no one should forget their permanent markers….
Gawdammit! Foiled again!
srv
You and Leslie could have been an item.
Marcelo
@Ryan: Are you the Ryan I know with the best dog in the world? I was gonna contact you about this. And bring Bernice, Easy Tiger is dog friendly!!!
kdaug
If we’re doing Mugshots I’m taking the train. No joy in downtown parking.
Calouste
@Comrade Mary:
You meant they decide to go and then the whole thing gets delayed by two weeks because of the weather?
Sandia Blanca
In spite of my previously expressed preferences, I will show up even if it’s downtown. No opinion on the three places mentioned, so vote for place with parking. (If not, there’s always car2go.)
raven
zzzzzzzzzz
Marcelo
@Sandia Blanca: I have a sneaking suspicion that you could commit murder in broad daylight but if you drove off in a car2go the police would be legally unable to prosecute you. With all the parking perks they get downtown, why shouldn’t they just be allowed to run people over?
lige
Crown & Anchor!
danielx
Now that sounds more like the Cole I’ve observed in this place. All that sociability was making me suspicious.
Nob Akimoto
Easy Tiger has a nice whiskey selection, but it’s hideously overpriced. You can get a fifth of the same stuff down the street at the Twin Liquors at 7th and Red River for the same price as a single of whatever at Easy Tiger.
Melville
I vote for Banger’s. It has a little more room to spread out and parking is marginally easier (though you may have to use a pay lot). It’s in the Rainey St. neighborhood which is an up and coming bar and restaurant scene (hipster warning). Easy Tiger is nice but it’s in the 6th st. bar district which is kind of tired and college-kid heavy. Rainey has a more Austin Weird vibe.
Edo
@David Koch: FTW
Nob Akimoto
Rainey Street is definitely a better option.
Lustre Pearl and Icenhauer’s both have good outdoor seating and spreading options and are affordable.
You can always get food at the food trailers nearby and have them bring it to you, or you can pregame by eating at Ironworks or the aforementioned trailers.
Marcelo
Either one is fine, I just tremble in fear when I consider having to park near Rainey St. But I’ll get over it. Also, Iron Works. Good call.
So let’s lock this down. Are we going to Bangers? Is this set? Can we, at long last, make a final decision?
Nob Akimoto
As horrible as Rainey St. parking is, finding parking for Dirty Seis is worse. I would suggest settling on Banger’s.
Sentient Puddle
I probably will skip it because I’m one of those misanthropes about downtown, but Banger’s would be a good pick. Their wall of taps is almost overwhelming in the “I’ve died and gone to heaven” sense.
SquareSquid
Rainey street on a Tuesday shouldn’t suck too hard. Looking forward to it!
Marcelo
Rainey St. parking makes me sad, but Squid is right, it shouldn’t be terrible on a Tuesday. Come on down, Puddle!