Hey! Wanna read something really fucking stupid and sexist? Here you go, courtesy of “liberal” magazine, The New Republic:
The zeitgeist’s heavy hammer—by which I mean the Internet—has landed hard on last week’s Oscar host Seth MacFarlane. The consensus: MacFarlane’s act was racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-Semitic, and, perhaps most unforgivably, not funny. Particularly insulting was the song and dance number, “We Saw Your Boobs,” during which MacFarlane highlighted members of the audience whose breasts he’d seen in movies (many of which were exposed during rape scenes), or, in the case of Scarlett Johansson, in leaked cellphone photos on the Internet. Viewers were right to be offended by MacFarlane’s demeaning routine. The women he mocked are world-class actresses. This was their night to be celebrated, not objectified by an immature jester.
But there’s a group that should be equally irate about “We Saw Your Boobs”: admirers of bare breasts. Because MacFarlane’s is exactly the type of frat-boy behavior that leads so many American women to keep their breasts hidden from public view for fear of just such humiliation.
Think of any European man that you know. If you don’t know any European men then just think of Javier Bardem, whose stubbly demeanor represents a kind of pan-European suavity. Now, imagine Javier Bardem, or someone who looks like him, at the beach. Two female bathers park their towels next to his. The bathers can be of any nationality or ethnicity—doesn’t matter. What does matter is that these women are pale. They spend their days at laptops in sunless offices. And now they’re on vacation, somewhere warm, for two weeks, before returning to the cold. They want tans and they want to enjoy themselves. So what do they do? They oil up. They lie down. They let the sun work its magic.
What these bathers don’t want, however, are tan lines. Besides, their bikini tops are uncomfortable. The bathers are confronted with a choice. Do they remove their bikini tops at the risk of being ogled by male beachgoers? Well the first thing these bathers do is take a good look around. The beach is empty, but for their neighbor, Javier.
Now, if Javier were an American man—someone like Seth MacFarlane maybe, or the member of a college lacrosse team—he would take this opportunity to stand up, beat his chest, and chant the word “boobies” in guttural monotone. He would snap photos with his iPhone, poke the air with his erection, and drool uncontrollably. The women would react by leaving their bikini tops on, and probably packing their baskets and moving farther down the beach.
But Javier is not American. So what does he do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He just lies there, sipping his beer. He doesn’t even look at the bathers who have now removed their bikini tops. He plays it cool.
After that, it’s anyone’s guess. Perhaps one of the women approaches Javier, asks if she can read his magazine when he’s done. Perhaps they get to talking, discussing international politics, literature, art. Perhaps later that night, after a few rounds of drinks, she decides—or maybe even both women decide—that, sure, they’d like to see his apartment, and yes the music is nice, and before Javier knows what’s happened he’s not only seen both women’s breasts but he’s caressed them and kissed them, and possibly even been smothered by them while coming to asphyxiated climax.
Do you see what I’m getting at? Isn’t it time for American men to start playing it cool?
Really? This is fucking gross by any standard, but for a liberal magazine?
It’s downright shameful.
Oh, and by the way? NOT ALL WOMEN ARE PALE.
Idiot.
[via TNR]
[cross-posted at ABLC]
Aimai
Wow. That is astonishingly tone deaf and hideously insulting. I guess they know that their readership is overwhelmingly male . If you thought for one moment women were reading your rag you wouldn’t publish it.
Schlemizel
Well I know “boobs” is one of the first things that pops into my head when I hear “The New Repugnant”
Ted & Hellen
Really? So that’s it?
“this is fucking gross” is your argument?
Sorry, but you kind of need to support your assertion.
Also, too, you seem to have Puritan hangups about boobs and sex yourself, ABL.
matt
That last big paragraph sounds kind of like Bill O’Reilly’s phone messages to Andrea Mackris. Just sayin.
smintheus
@Aimai: What kind of males would want to read that?
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
They’re just concerned about your tan lines.
/snark
kc
I read this post, and then read the one below it.
Unfortunate timing . . .
Gin & Tonic
Well, I do agree that Javier Bardem is way cooler than Seth McFarlane, but that’s an incredibly stupid story. Is the writer twelve years old or something?
David Koch
The War on Boobies!
Ted & Hellen
Could someone specify exactly what it is about this article that is “offensive?”
Straight men stroke, kiss, and fondle boobs, sometimes people pick up other people on the beach, sometimes people have three ways.
So?
David Koch
I thought the bit btwn Ted the talking stuffed animal and Marky-Mark sucking up to Israel to get more starring roles was hilarious.
ThresherK
The quote sounds like a bunch of erudite 13-y.o. males talking amongst themselves on how to pick up chicks at a clothing optional beach. Yuk.
PS And I guess the Euro version of the Lounge Lizard no longer exists.
DougJ, Friend of Hamas
Stupidly contrarian, mostly.
Baud
@DougJ, Friend of Hamas:
This exactly, DougJavier.
FlipYrWhig
@Ted & Hellen: “Be cool, bro, and we’ll all get to see some primo tittayz” is the kind of thing you expect from Maxim or Axe body spray commercials. Not the New Republic. It’s like having the Atlantic Monthly have a blogger constantly wanking on about high-end kitchen equipment and pink salt or something.
Gin & Tonic
@Ted & Hellen: You don’t often get to watch a writer masturbating in public. That’s what this is.
jheartney
Good to see TNR is still capable of publishing mortifying prose even after the departure of Martin Peretz.
ThresherK
@FlipYrWhig: Ixnay on the inkpay altsay–don’t give away my (and The Atlantic’s) secret for impressing the laydeez!
West of the Rockies
Curious how the article begins by chastizing MacFarlane’s behavior (which certainly sounded juvenile and all the other adjectives listed above), but then it goes and does sort of the same thing it accuses Seth of doing. Well, I guess that’s the state of pop journalism today. We’ve reached the point where you can hear a well-worded, meaningful argument on a given topic, but if you toss your head in just the right way and deliver a pithy “Whatever!” in just the right tone, you win the debate.
burnspbesq
Still waiting for the day when ABL reacts with something other than wildly disproportionate outrage to … well, anything.
Today is clearly not that day.
It’s a big, nasty world out there, and it’s full of morons and assholes who are only empowered to the extent that you give them power by paying attention to them. When you over-react, they win. Stop scoring own goals.
Related point: stop insulting your audience’s intelligence. Amazingly enough, most of us are smart enough to figure out on our own that stuff like this is stupid and childish (I disclaim all representations or warranties related to Corner Stone or T&H). Just post the link and say “check this out,” or words to that effect.
lamh35
@Gin & Tonic: I think that ABL for her next thread should get another FP to put their name on the byline and let’s see if the usual suspects show up. I commented on a post by Cole that talked about topics associated with ABL that it was interesting that no one like da trolls showed up.
It’s actually ridiculous how some people act once they see ABL’s name in the byline.
El Caganer
So Hugh Hefner’s writing for Big Hollywood now? Wow, learn something new every day…..oh, what, The New Republic? You’re shitting me.
Ben Franklin
It’s interesting to see that people actually read this shit.
Litlebritdifrnt
As far as I am concerned the only perhaps mildly offensive bit was this
The rest of it was right on point, the way people in the US generally and men specifically treat nudity overall and women’s boobs is downright fucking juvenile and prudish beyond belief. I hate to quote Julia Roberts in “Notting Hill” but “they’re for milk” and yet you have millions of people in this country who do not think that women should be allowed to breast feed in public, because it “offends” them. Think of the time and energy and tax payer dollars that were wasted because Janet Jackson flashed a nipple for approximately two seconds. What kind of madness is that?
They’re tits, get over it, over 50% of the world has them (insert Meatloaf joke here), I really wish that Rupert Murdoch had introduced Page 3 to his newspapers over here because then some people might just grow the fuck up about the naked human body.
Woodrow/asim Jarvis Hill
@Ted & Hellen: Really, I have to explain what’s offensive here?
The entire point of this article is to say that the point of women’s breasts are around the male gaze. That women don’t even have a voice in this discussion. That men should shut up not because it’s the fucking right thing to do, to not treat bare breasts as some kind of goddamned irresistible call to sexuality (as long as they meet “certain requirements”, otherwise they’re “ugly”, “cow-like”, and so forth), but because shutting up leads women to think they are safe — and by these rules, it’s only in degree of offensiveness, of not being overt around offensive behavior, not in kind between McFarland and the author, no matter their gender.
Just because you didn’t say “hey, nice tits” isn’t — to rip off Chris Rock — a reason to give you a Fuckin’ Cookie! In fact, it’s just a ploy in it’s own way. One can address and manage one’s admiration for women, even specific to the physical form, without turning into a creepfest, be it loudly proclaimed or silently tracked by surreptitious looking.
And the idea that women aren’t aware of people acting just like the goddamn author is an affront, as well, but you get the idea.
Joe Buck
The New Republic is not a liberal magazine. The are an “even the liberal” magazine, often used by Broderites and conservatives to say that “even the liberal New Republic agrees with us”.
h/t Atrios, though I’m not sure whether he was first to phrase it this way.
WereBear
The one thing I agree with is the call for more class from certain sub-species of American males.
However, the motivation here is what is lacking. And hey, might not be all that’s lacking.
Cermet
So this is the old carrot and stick example – see men, if you pretend to be gentlemen, then two woman will jump you … or at least have their way with you. Oh, and they are pale because all woman who get sun tans are pale to begin with …no attempt to isolate people of non-pale skin … wait, they did do exactly that just to get this stupid story to make sense. That was really stupid – objectifying of woman for a man’s fantasy just to ‘teach a lesson’ of ‘good?’ behavior. Right.
Schlemizel
@lamh35:
I thought I was the only person who noticed that. WHile I do sometimes think ABL is over the top thats only a maybe but the troll thing is an always.
Imani Gandy (ABL)
@burnspbesq:
I’ve yet to see any evidence from you that this is the case, sweetie.
Johnny Coelacanth
“Now, if Javier were an American man—someone like Seth MacFarlane maybe, or the member of a college lacrosse team—he would take this opportunity to stand up, beat his chest, and chant the word “boobies” in guttural monotone.”
What a bunch of overripe horseshit. Does context mean nothing? Even though the brief, jokey song was preceded by dialog saying it was a terrible bad idea, and the joke was that it’s a glimpse into an alternate future where this song was performed sincerely; despite all that, we’re to indict all American men as titty-maddened mooks because Seth MacFarlane? Bull farking shite.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Imani Gandy (ABL): Haha. Ain’t that the troof.
A.J.
I thought Seth MacFarlane was atrocious at the Oscars. He brought “Family Guy” to the Oscars and bombed; one hold-your-breath silence after the other for every tasteless, humorless, “joke” he delivered. All that was missing was the ba-da-boom from the drummer.
The boobs thing was as tasteless as it was crude, and why the show’s producers allowed it is beyond me. As a guy I felt awkward with my girlfriend sitting next to me. I can’t imagine how those actresses felt. I’d be curious to see what they will insert into their movie contracts after this shit.
Imani Gandy (ABL)
@lamh35: no kidding. this is the first time in a while i’ve bothered to read the comments. i think my previous policy of “don’t read the comments” is going back into effect.
later, peeps.
Cermet
@Litlebritdifrnt: You are one confused person. First you claim (very incorrectly, by the way. Eevolution has most certainly developed human woman’s breast into sexual signs and there are numerous scientific papers on this exact thing – try learning facts before making a unsupported claim) that they are just something for babies to feed off; then you give the example of that asswipe Murdock’s sexual exploitation of woman’s breast as a good thing?! Boy, what are you trying to say, exactly?
Mandalay
@Litlebritdifrnt:
Speaking of wasted tax dollars, can we please spend $550 million to promote teen abstinence?
Omnes Omnibus
The piece does make the valid, and in my observation, entirely true point that a large number of American men behave like fucking idiots when placed in proximity to publicly displayed breasts. During times I have been in Europe, it was embarrassing. Of course, the piece then veers off into its own fucking idiocy. Lovely.
MeDrewNotYou
I kind of agree with one of the points that (I think) the writer was trying to make*: Boobs aren’t a big deal and the typical American male’s reaction to them is stupid and leads to breasts being an ‘issue.’. For me, seeing breasts is nice, of course, but it isn’t something to stare at, make comments about, etc. Whatever the woman’s state of dress, I try to adhere to the simple rule, “Don’t be an asshole.” Of course that applies to all interactions; just try not to do things that make people uncomfortable.
By throwing in the childish and masturbatory bits, he changes the argument to how juvenile and idiotic he is. It ruins the discussion we could have about women’s view of and comfort with their bodies and how males in our culture affect that.
*-For the grammar Nazis, did I use the colon correctly? I wasn’t sure if I should’ve used a dash instead.
ETA- I completely agree what @Litlebritdifrnt said, offensiveness and all.
Litlebritdifrnt
@Cermet:
I am saying that a woman’s breasts are her own, if she chooses to show them to someone she loves, half a dozen people at a party, to the entire occupants of a beach, to everyone at Mardi Gras or to 3 million readers of a newspaper then that is her own damn business and why should anyone else have a problem with it.
I am also saying that if a woman’s baby is hungry and she is breastfeeding then she should damn well be able to sit down on a bench in the mall or at the park and breast feed her child without people gawking, pointing and complaining that they are offended.
I swear a lot of people in this country never got out of the dark ages when it comes to the naked human body. It is childish.
Mar
ABL’s trolls are a bunch of boobs.
The Thin Black Duke
@MeDrewNotYou: If you “don’t want to be an asshole”, then you shouldn’t use the colon.
Omnes Omnibus
@The Thin Black Duke: I saw what you did there.
Litlebritdifrnt
@Omnes Omnibus:
Thank you, most American males behave like twelve year old boys when it comes to naked boobs, and yes it is embarrassing. I have never gone topless myself because I am pretty shy when it comes to things like that, but my aunt and uncle were dedicated nudists, all three of their girls went topless any chance they got when on holiday, damn even my mother went topless once (there’s a thing I never thought I would say). It is NORMAL. People just need to grow up.
kc
The indignation expressed in some of the comments on this post is puzzling to me considering that in the thread just below this one commenters are talking about how Ashley Judd’s nude scenes make her more electable, huh-huh-huh.
What’s the diff?
Gex
This is always a difficult topic for me. I agree with the analysis that this article does what they are criticizing others for doing.
I just can’t speak very strongly on this front because boobs make me stupid. Kate used to tell me I had a very specific face I would make when a pair hypnotized me. I would generally have no idea that I had stopped and stared until I was coming out of it.
muddy
It’s rude also too the way the author assumes Javier is up for cheating on his wife with random magazine borrowing nudists.
Mo
@Omnes Omnibus, yeah the piece had a point until it went off the rails. There are many beach resorts, Caribbean and elsewhere, that actively discourage American tourism. They don’t advertise in publications read by Americans, they won’t work with American travel agents, and they won’t host American travel writers. Why? They are fed up with American prudishness and getting demands that the women on the beach put their tops on and the men not wear Speedos.
What is missing from the New Republic article is that Javier would be wearing a bathing suit that gave the ladies a very nice view as well.
Omnes Omnibus
@Litlebritdifrnt: Also, in my experience, it’s not that one’s chances of picking up a girl on a beach increase if one doesn’t point, giggle, and say, “look, boobies!” as one’s chances plummet to zero if one does.
Villago Delenda Est
@Litlebritdifrnt:
Won’t happen. The Jeebus is too strong here.
Mnemosyne
@Cermet:
Links, please. The American preference for large breasts is by no means universal and only came about in the 1950s. There’s a lot of pseudo-scientific evo-psych bullshit that tries to “prove” that a cultural preference that only became common 60 years ago somehow has millions of years of evolution behind it, but they can never seem to explain why, historically, small breasts were preferred from antiquity through the Renaissance (take a look at the “Birth of Venus” again sometime) until, well, the 1950s.
Litlebritdifrnt
@Mo:
Ha Ha true dat!
aimai
@burnspbesq:
Oh for christ’s sake its the New Republic. Its not nutpicking. She’s right to point out that it is trolling female readers by writing as though it has none and as though the only issue raised by the McFarlane shtick is a problem for men. Its incredibly insulting and juvenile. Just because it concerns issues between the genders doesn’t make it any less grotesque than other forms of appropriation–like writing an article about how terrible it is that Native Americans are still stuck on poverty stricken reservations because it means you can’t buy any acerage in what you now consider a spot of natural beauty.
If you don’t give a fuck about women’s issues–and trying to be taken seriously when you complain about sexist treatment is a woman’s issue–then stop reading and commenting on ABL’s threads. If you want to tell the world what you think is important (or not important) why don’t you start your own blog and see if you can scare up a few readers for “the world according to burnsie.”
scav
@Mo: well, that and the general ambiance of kids making sand castles, bodies of all ages and variations of fit prostrate on towels, probably a few jellyfish and ice cream vendors and a crepe place nearby if we’re lucky.
WereBear
@kc: Ashley Judd appears in her movies as an adult; while the article starts out well, admonishing men for juvenile behavior, and then turning around and stating that they should pretend to be adults to get what they want.
PopeRatzo
Where’s my fainting couch? Bare breasts are simply horrible, I tell you.
And can someone please tell me why we care that there’s a dumb statement in the New Republic? Will we next have an expose of the crude humor in Cracked Magazine?
So let me get this straight. First we get a post about fapping to Ashley Judd’s sex scenes and it’s followed by a post complaining about a mention of bare breasts? Is Katherine Jean Lopez moonlighting here?
NA
@Ted & Hellen:
ABL is a Puritan? Huh. I wouldn’t have guessed it from her many articles on reproductive rights, or the cute dress she wore at the DNC, for that matter. Is it remotely possible she is critical of the author for reasons other than sexual repression? Maybe?
Forum Transmitted Disease
Piece completely ignores the fact that Javier would get some because he’s a decent looking dude, and the hypothetical American likely looks like most American men: sixty to eighty pounds overweight, and pretty indistinguishable in both shape and texture to an uncooked donut.
Whatevs, I’m an ass guy anyway.
And ABL, I know you know this, but you ladies of color get pale and need a line-free tan just like everybody else.
Litlebritdifrnt
@Mnemosyne: @Mnemosyne:
Not to mention that having breast enhancement surgery pretty much ruins the breasts for the purpose that they were originally intended.
From my limited information “child bearing hips” were far more sought after than were big boobies.
aimai
@lamh35:
I couldn’t agree more. I don’t always agree with ABL’s posts but if I don’t like them or I don’t find them challenging I just move on. Its fucking creepy to enter the comment thread occasionally and discover the usual suspects attacking her for having the temerity to live, breathe, read, post on topics of general interest to the blog. And its not just the usual trolls who hate the blog as a whole, its a specific subset of the white male readers who seem to feel territorial about the blog. They love it (as opposed to the ted and helen style blog haters) and they seem to have decided they need to police ABL right off the front page.
Bruce S
This is actually a step up from the worst crap The New Republic has printed under the aegis of pricks like Peretz and Andrew Sullivan.
General Stuck
I try an stay out of boobie threads, and leave those to those that have them. Though it is always fascinating to see a prominent national political magazine like TNR wade in with gusto.
There is no future in it, though someone might want to get that memo to senor Cole down below, oogling over Ashley. Me, I don’t know nuthin’ and dint see nothin.
Violet
@Litlebritdifrnt:
I happened to watch a bit of the ABC evening news tonight. They had a long segment on “government waste” where they looked into the scandalous waste of taxpayer money to have oil paintings made of various cabinet members. Each one costs something like $20,000-30,000. The whole amount was about $400,000. Then they got Tom Vilsak to say that amount was “small potatoes” or something and brought some representative from an organization like “Teabaggers against Government Money going to Non-Whites” and he said that Vilsak was “seriously out of touch”.
The fuckers spent about five minutes of a 22 minute broadcast letting someone try to claim that $400,000 was an example of massive government waste. I knew I hated ABC, but this reminds me why.
MeDrewNotYou
@The Thin Black Duke: I see what you did there.
@Omnes Omnibus:Damn I’m slow. I blame the media for giving me Homer Simpson.
geg6
Is this written by the guy who writes the letters for Penthouse Forum? “Dear Forum, I was minding my own business on a beach in South France and…boobies! Four of them!”
And I wasn’t all that offended by McFarland. I’ve watched “Family Guy,” after all. I knew what to expect.
Didn’t one of the Facebook or Google guys buy the TNR? That would account for the juvenile tone of this stupid and completely contradictory article.
Bruce S
@A.J.:
“atrocious at the Oscars” – pretty low bar. Frankly, the Oscars are a showcase for “atrocious” more often than not. What’s the big deal with McFarlane? It’s not like he was dropping a smarmy attitude toward women on some unsuspecting Girl Scout troop. This was fucking HOLLYWOOD!
Emma
So I read some of the comments and I have a question for those of you who seem to make a hobby of trying your best to prove how, I don’t know, “inferior to your brilliant selves” ABL is. Why do you read her stuff? I mean, sheesh, life’s too short to stalk somebody, y’know? Unless, of course, this is your equivalent of that kid trying to get a girl’s attention by pulling on her pigtails….
Litlebritdifrnt
@Violet:
The thing is that if you added up all of that shit it would start to add up to real dollars. I love that bit in “Dave” when the fake POTUS calls in his accountant friend to go over the budget and make a certain amount of savings. Then when fake POTUS is presenting his findings to the cabinet he says to one of them “you want to spend money on making Americans feel good about a car they already bought?” I hate to agree with Barnicle but he said this morning “you give the budget to a normal American family and they would be able to come up with the cuts better than congress can”.
When you look at the staffing of congress and the senate, it is absolutely mind boggling, I mean they each have a press secretary, and tons of other “staffers” that are costing the taxpayers billions. I believe that they are given a budget of 3 million or so for their staffs. 3 million times how many? It is nuts.
beergoggles
There is a term for this – ‘mansplaining’. Apparently you don’t even have to be a man to do it.
lojasmo
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Yes, it is.
Joel
Frankly, my threshold for offensiveness was crossed some time back in these threads when one particularly enterprising Balloon Juicer suggested that civic-minded Americans murder bankers and their children. Soft targets, dontcha know?
I’m assuming (hoping) he’s been told to cool off for a little while?
PeakVT
If I ever win the lottery I’m going to buy TNR and shut it down.
aimai
@Litlebritdifrnt:
That’s actually a totally penny wise and pound foolish argument. Congress needs to be able to pay top quality staffers because Congress is inundated with legislation and lobbying from the wealthiest and most corrupt people on earth (rich people) and with legislative and lobbying requests from some of hte least informed and most desperate people on earth (their own constituents.) Newt Gingerich saw how important good staffers were to enabling Congresspeople to keep abreast of the news, keep informed about local affairs, get information about lobbyists and about legislative issues and he cut staff salaries. He knew that the Republicans would make it up with donated/paid for staffers offered by millionaires while the Democrats would have to hire younger, less experienced people.
This is precisely the function of ALEC, btw: its hard to write good legislation that does what you want it to, clearly, without loopholes or embarrassing overreach or constitutional challenge. Congresspeople aren’t necessarily lawyers or experienced in writing legislation so if they can’t hire good staff to help them they end up outsourcing to foundations and groups like ALEC which offer them the service for “free.”
Violet
@Litlebritdifrnt: I agree it all adds up and I’m not suggesting that oil portraits of every single cabinet secretary is a good idea. I just thought that ABC News focusing on that one thing like it’s some massive overreach, when in actuality the Obama administration has spent less on portraits than previous administrations, is ridiculous. They even had the reporter going to Costco with a digital photo and getting some kind of Costco version of an oil painting.
The average person looks that those numbers and gets riled up, but I don’t see ABC News focusing on how much money is going to Defense. Or, heaven forbid, discuss how much we spend on Medicare and Social Security. Because the people who watch nightly news programs are old and they can’t afford to turn off those viewers.
It’s just stupid. ABC News could have done real investigatory journalism with the time and money they allocated to that segment. Instead they had some guy get his portrait made at Costco. Ugh.
Ted & Hellen
@muddy:
Good god, seriously?
The merger of PC and Puritanism is complete.
Don’t forget to clutch your pearls and properly align the fainting couch before launching yourself onto it in a pleasurable huff.
El Cid
They’ve fallen so far since the days of arguing that we basically have no alternative than to pay rightist thugs to slaughter civilians throughout Central America, because Russia.
Ted & Hellen
@aimai:
Reactionary moron.
First off, I skip the vast majority of ABL threads, so you know, fuck off.
Secondly if anyone tries to “police” people off of BJ, it is you and your cohort of delicate Bot flowers.
So again, fuck off.
Litlebritdifrnt
@aimai:
I hear your point, but “top quality staffers” need to be paid the same as the people they are representing and be doing it because they believe in it and not for the money and/or power. Perhaps senators and congresspeople need to learn how to work a 40 hour week instead of spending their time blabbing at the cameras.
@Violet:
$900 hammers and all that. I bet you I could cut the defense budget billions with a paper, pencil and a decent calculator.
HydroCabron
I was with you, until it dawned on that I was reading this on an organ named “Balloon Juice.”
Change the name of this blog.
Omnes Omnibus
@HydroCabron:
Why?
ETA: Check the lexicon.
mainmati
The New Republic is a liberal rag? Who knew?
aimai
@Litlebritdifrnt:
No, I don’t agree. Top quality, highly educated people need to be paid appropriately or they have to leave and do something that will pay them. Its absurd to argue that congressional staffers should do it all for love, anymore than we should underpay teachers and expect them to do it for love.There’s a value to us as a society in having well paid, professional, civil servants who do their jobs regardless of the comings and goings of the elected and appointed class. I think we’d be better off, actually, if Massachuesetts (for example) had a highly paid congressional civil service staff that stayed on in between senate or congressional campaigns. There’s a reason Obama, for example, hired the top staffers of other Senators when he came to the Senate and then when he came to the White House. Institutional memory, knowing where the bodies are buried, and knowing how to do research and get things done/passed are things that low level staffers and interns simply can’t learn to do in a few years while they are squatting in bachelor apartments before they settle down and need to earn money to pay for their families.
aimai
@Ted & Hellen:
Oh, and T and H dear, I specifically put you in the category of troll (i.e. a self hating poster on a blog you dislike) not on those policing the blog. You aren’t policing anything–in fact you seem incapable of controlling yourself in any way and I suspect you suffer from premature ejaculation as well as general bad temper.
Ruckus
@Mnemosyne:
Barbie.
That doll is so out of proportion it is ridiculous. And I knew that when I was 14 and helping to build Barbie molds.
Omnes Omnibus
@aimai: You get professional quality work from professionals. Well meaning amateurs generally can’t compete.
FlipYrWhig
@Litlebritdifrnt: You’re starting to sound like Bill O’Reilly exorcized over the average price of muffins at government agencies’ breakfast meetings. Yes, cut waste, but that’s far, far from being the driver of The Deficit.
@Violet: Did they explain that Obama wasn’t the first president to have oil paintings of cabinet secretaries? I remember a story from the Bush administration about a photographic montage of a cabinet official’s hands. I thought it was Rod Paige but my google-fu is betraying me.
muddy
@Ted & Hellen: derp
Reformed Panty Sniffer
For what its worth, the article in question is labelled with the tagline “Humor,” so perhaps the new owner of the New Republic is trying to be edgy here just like the unfortunate host of the Oscars. Massive fail ensues. I assume its totebagger audience will discuss (some good comments against the author on the site already), but I can’t say I’ve ever read an NR issue cover to cover anyway.
Tonybrown74
@aimai:
Aimai, I bow to you, because that was a fierce “read”.
Ted & Hellen
Yes, Seth Macfarland totally failed.
That’s why the Oscar ratings were up this year for the first time in several.
The actresses featured in the Boob Song were totally in on the joke.
You humorless school marms might try following suit.
Of course, to do so would seriously spoil your faux ragegasms, so never mind…
Omnes Omnibus
@Ted & Hellen: Ratings do not automatically equate to quality. I didn’t watch the show this year so I don’t have an opinion of whether or not he did a good job. I do, however, think that the TNR piece started out okay and ended up as dreck.
Kyle
@Mo:
Please tell me where. I’d like to avoid such Ugly Americans on my vacation, too.
Omnes Omnibus
@Kyle: I know of some and I ain’t telling. Go find your own.
ETA: Vama Veche on the Black Sea in Romania. It is the last beach resort before the Bulgarian border and has always been vaguely counter-cultural – even during Ceauceascu’s day.
Betsy
@Reformed Panty Sniffer: yeah, edgy, because nothing says bleeding-edge, contrarian, freethinking, and transgressive like stale old sophomoric humor aimed at girlies’ private parts
Ted & Hellen
@Betsy:
Blue nose.
fuckwit
I need a shower now.
Not a towel. A shower. Ick.
Well after I feel clean again I will probably want a towel.
Still, ick.
No, Virginia, the way to sell being a Decent Human Being to over-sexualized, repressed, immature American men is NOT TO SUGGEST (in suggestive language, especially) THAT IT WILL GET THEM LAID.
NO NO a hundred times no!
No, the reason to be a decent human being is, to be a decent human being. THe world does not need more Nice Guys.
Everything about this I ever learned, I learned from Pandagon and Amanda Marcotte.
Now, you creepy New Republic editors, go fucking read Amanda Marcotte and find out why you are creepy motherfuckers, and you need to stop it, now.
Ick.
Keith G
There must be a full moon, cuz this whole thread is rather strange.
TriassicSands
@aimai:
The irony is that the best teachers do it for love, not money, and anyone who would teach primarily for money (assuming it were a well-paid profession) would be unlikely to be one of the best teachers.
I’m not sure any amount of money (alone) would be adequate compensation (in many schools and school districts) for putting up with many of today’s kids, parents, and administrators. Loving teaching makes it possible. Caring about learning makes it worthwhile. Otherwise, the paycheck will just be something you get after a month of pure hell.
(Clearly, the above is not universally true.)
LAC
@Woodrow/asim Jarvis Hill: Of course you have to explain it to this fucking moron. He is so dense, light bends around him.
It was a meh performance in a drecky Oscar show, followed by an attempt at penthouse humor by a floundering magazine. The Seth McFarland antics were almost a given, but I do not get the need to rationalize it in this manner. It is weird and off-putting.
What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?
I’m not sure whether this article is more insulting to women or American males, but the author obviously doesn’t know much about either.
jayackroyd
@Litlebritdifrnt:
It’s remarkable how quickly the sight of breasts become desexualized when they’re routinely bare.
Ted & Hellen
Prudes.
Fred Fnord
@Woodrow/asim Jarvis Hill: It boggles my mind that anyone bothers to respond to Ted & Hellen. He is only here to derail conversation. There is literally nothing else he does. It only takes me maybe three ABL stories to see what he’s doing. And yet y’all play right into his hands every time.
I wonder if he’s one of those paid conservative commenters I keep hearing whispers about. They do such a good job of destroying intelligent conversation on liberal blogs, and we keep letting them.
Ted & Hellen
@Fred Fnord:
Could you highlight and explain how exactly this thread was “derailed?” Thanks.
Do you consider any comment outside the preconceived fantasy narrative in your head to be a “derailment?”
Thanks.
Ted & Hellen
@Fred Fnord:
I wonder if he’s one of those paid conservative commenters I keep hearing whispers about.
Drat. You have found me out. Yes, I confess. I am paid $275,000 per year to post comments here on BJ. (The whispers are coming from INSIDE YOUR HEAD!)
Thank you! So very much. I appreciate the kudo.
Cassidy
@Woodrow/asim Jarvis Hill:
You’re asking that of a twit who tried to explain to us how raping a 12 y/o boy could have been a consensual act. A little mysogyny isn’t even close to offensive for this pile of shit.
Yastreblyansky
Does anybody else think that New Republic soft-pron reads extremely gay? In that it’s the real Bardem and not the imaginary pale boob-carriers that the author is fantasizing about?
Ted & Hellen
@Cassidy:
Your job may soon be sequestered out of existence, but I see there’s no danger of the same happening to your habit of lying out of your fat, government funded ass.
PanurgeATL
@Mo:
Well, for all that we talk about breasts, the way we don’t even talk about Speedos is something in itself. Apparently the penis is THE MOST AWFUL THING IN THE UNIVERSE AND NOT EVEN THE HINT OF IT MUST BE APPARENT.
Heck, even the thing for kilts these days strikes me as disingenuous; if they were really brave it’d be about tights. Kilts hide so much…