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You are here: Home / Civil Rights / Women's Rights / Vagina Outrage / Woman Arrested With Loaded Gun in Her Vagina — So That Happened.

Woman Arrested With Loaded Gun in Her Vagina — So That Happened.

by Imani Gandy (ABL)|  March 6, 20135:16 pm| 90 Comments

This post is in: Vagina Outrage

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This takes “vagina dentata” to a whole ‘nother level:

MARCH 6–An Oklahoma woman arrested Monday on drug charges had a loaded handgun hidden in her vagina, according to police.

The weapon was discovered during a search of Christie Dawn Harris, 28, by a female officer with the Ada Police Department. According to a police report, the cop spotted the handle of the five-shot revolver “sticking out from” inside Harris, who is seen at right.

In a less shocking find, investigators also discovered plastic baggies containing methamphetamine lodged in the crack of Harris’s buttocks.

The Freedom Arms .22-caliber handgun was loaded with three live rounds and one spent shell, cops reported. As to where the weapon was recovered, the police report noted, “gun located in suspect vagina.”

First, any vagina with a gun in it — loaded or not — automatically qualifies as a “suspect” vagina. (Grammar is important, guys.)

Second, there was one spent shell? She must have been doing her Kegel exercises.

Third, SHE HAD A LOADED GUN IN HER VAGINA, YOU GUYS.

[via The Smoking Gun]

[cross-posted at ABLC]
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Reader Interactions

90Comments

  1. 1.

    Betty Cracker

    March 6, 2013 at 5:17 pm

    OMFG. That is all.

  2. 2.

    Egypt Steve

    March 6, 2013 at 5:18 pm

    Reminds me of a joke that was going around my elementary school when I was like, in the fifth grade. Let’s just say the punchline was: “Better yet, help me find my car and we can drive out.”

  3. 3.

    Comrade Mary

    March 6, 2013 at 5:19 pm

    That is not how you take a pap smear.

    Also: BIGGEST cringe in the world.

  4. 4.

    dmsilev

    March 6, 2013 at 5:21 pm

    Was the gun cocked?

    (sorry)

  5. 5.

    The Moar You Know

    March 6, 2013 at 5:25 pm

    That’s not a small gun and not a cheap one either. Freedom does competition-grade firearms, the .22 lists for over $2000.

    And…hooo boy I cringe to even type this – all the five-shot .22 caliber versions have ten-inch barrels.

  6. 6.

    dan

    March 6, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    You talkin’ to me?

  7. 7.

    General Stuck

    March 6, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    Those things are dangerous, so are guns.

  8. 8.

    Thoughtcrime

    March 6, 2013 at 5:27 pm

    This is my weapon
    This is my gun
    This is for fighting
    and this is for fun

  9. 9.

    Baud

    March 6, 2013 at 5:28 pm

    And you thought air travel was a hassle after the shoe bomber…

  10. 10.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    March 6, 2013 at 5:28 pm

    Impressive. Dangerous. Expensive weapon. Possibly indicative of (psycho)pathology, also too.

    Tl;dr: Scary

  11. 11.

    Reformed Panty Sniffer

    March 6, 2013 at 5:30 pm

    @dmsilev:

    I just spewed all over the keyboard. Where would you like the Internets delivered?

  12. 12.

    kc

    March 6, 2013 at 5:30 pm

    Second, there was one spent shell? She must have been doing her Kegel exercises.

    Bwahahaha!

  13. 13.

    ruemara

    March 6, 2013 at 5:31 pm

    saw this on FB. still traumatized.

  14. 14.

    Baud

    March 6, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    If a vaginal gun goes off and kills a fetus, is it a crime or the exercise of a constitutional right? #wingnutthoughtpuzzles

  15. 15.

    YellowJournalism

    March 6, 2013 at 5:35 pm

    Add “Person Who Cleans Confiscated Weapons” to my list of jobs I never want to have, just above “Wal-Mart Greeter” and below “Any Job Featured on Dirty Jobs.”

  16. 16.

    Spaghetti Lee

    March 6, 2013 at 5:39 pm

    When vaginas are outlawed, only outlaws, etc.

  17. 17.

    FlipYrWhig

    March 6, 2013 at 5:39 pm

    That’s when i reach for my “revulva.”

  18. 18.

    TenguPhule

    March 6, 2013 at 5:40 pm

    *Drumroll*

    Stop the planet, I want to get off.

  19. 19.

    Thoughtcrime

    March 6, 2013 at 5:43 pm

    I thought the AR15 was the Bushmaster.

  20. 20.

    retr2327

    March 6, 2013 at 5:44 pm

    Via the “smoking gun”?? Seriously?

  21. 21.

    Yutsano

    March 6, 2013 at 5:44 pm

    @YellowJournalism: “Dirty Jobs” is now canceled. No mas Mike Rowe standing around looking HAWT while getting dirty.

  22. 22.

    Citizen_X

    March 6, 2013 at 5:44 pm

    YOU CAN TAKE MY GUN WHEN YOU PULL MY COLD DEAD oh forget it.

  23. 23.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    March 6, 2013 at 5:46 pm

    Women with guns in their cooters have a way of shuttin that whole thing down.

  24. 24.

    legion

    March 6, 2013 at 5:48 pm

    And here I thought the only way to stop a bad vagina was a douche…

  25. 25.

    Anoniminous

    March 6, 2013 at 5:50 pm

    Say WHAT?!?

    This is …

    This is …

    (uh)

    This …

    (words fail)

  26. 26.

    Tom Levenson

    March 6, 2013 at 5:52 pm

    And hey? Right on cue — the comet approaches.

    No one could say we didn’t have it coming.

  27. 27.

    eclecticbrotha

    March 6, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    Let’s see.

    1. Its a good thing the safety was on.
    2. I’ve heard of “snappers” but now we have “cappers” too?
    3. Is that what you’d refer to as an “ammo toe?”
    4. Her favorite sexual position must be “reverse ‘kapow!’ girl.”

    OK, I’m done.

  28. 28.

    Schlemizel

    March 6, 2013 at 6:04 pm

    as a younger man I once saw a show where a woman fired ping pong balls out of her vagina. The was impressive but this act would be killer

  29. 29.

    wenchacha

    March 6, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    They called her boyfriend Deadeye Dick. They weren’t kidding.

  30. 30.

    Ripley

    March 6, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    Blah blah blah vaginal discharge yadda yadda…

  31. 31.

    Poopyman

    March 6, 2013 at 6:13 pm

    @The Moar You Know: The Smoking Gun (heh!) has a picture of the “item”, and I’m relieved (?) to see that it’s a snub nose.

    “I observed at that time a wooden and metal item sticking out from her vagina area,” reported Officer Kathy Unbewust, who added that she “pulled the item from her vagina, and found it to be a 5 shot revolver with rounds in the chamber.

    Adds new meaning to “whipping it out”.

  32. 32.

    pacem appellant

    March 6, 2013 at 6:26 pm

    I wish to point out, rather pedantically, that the gun could not have been sticking out her vagina, but rather her vulva. Most people have never seen a vagina, and never will.

  33. 33.

    danimal

    March 6, 2013 at 6:29 pm

    Sheldon Adelson can update his aspirin joke now… This is taking birth control to a whole new level… She’s armed and ready. What’s the NRA position, anyway?

  34. 34.

    Mnemosyne

    March 6, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    @Poopyman:

    Good thing latex gloves are now standard cop issue. Ewww.

  35. 35.

    Mnemosyne

    March 6, 2013 at 6:31 pm

    @pacem appellant:

    To get super-pedantic: it was inside her vagina, but was visible sticking out of the vulva.

    Still eewwww for whoever had to check that into evidence.

  36. 36.

    Gin & Tonic

    March 6, 2013 at 6:33 pm

    I don’t have a vagina myself, but that just sounds, uh, uncomfortable?

  37. 37.

    eastriver

    March 6, 2013 at 6:40 pm

    I hear tell she was a crack shot.

  38. 38.

    gnomedad

    March 6, 2013 at 6:44 pm

    The best bang since the big one.

  39. 39.

    HgMn

    March 6, 2013 at 6:48 pm

    Happiness is a warm gun

  40. 40.

    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker

    March 6, 2013 at 6:48 pm

    @Baud:

    If a vaginal gun goes off and kills a fetus, is it a crime or the exercise of a constitutional right? #wingnutthoughtpuzzles

    I was gonna try for a Sex Pistols joke, but this is way better.

    Also, single best use of the “Vagina Outrage” tag on Balloon Juice.

  41. 41.

    TBogg

    March 6, 2013 at 6:50 pm

    There’s a finger bang joke in here somewhere.

  42. 42.

    gogol's wife

    March 6, 2013 at 6:50 pm

    I can’t believe I actually read this thread.

  43. 43.

    Punchy

    March 6, 2013 at 6:51 pm

    She took the advice to use protection a bit too far….

  44. 44.

    AxelFoley

    March 6, 2013 at 6:53 pm

    @dmsilev:

    Was the gun cocked?

    (sorry)

    Thy internets, wherefore might we deliver them?

  45. 45.

    Face

    March 6, 2013 at 6:54 pm

    @eclecticbrotha: There just arent words to describe just how fuckin funny “ammo toe” is. Youve won the tubes for the week.

  46. 46.

    AxelFoley

    March 6, 2013 at 6:56 pm

    @The Moar You Know:

    That’s not a small gun and not a cheap one either. Freedom does competition-grade firearms, the .22 lists for over $2000.

    And…hooo boy I cringe to even type this – all the five-shot .22 caliber versions have ten-inch barrels.

    Five posts in and I can tell this thread is gonna be one for the ages in the annals–I said “annals”, not “anal”–of Balloon Juice history.

  47. 47.

    chopper

    March 6, 2013 at 6:56 pm

    @FlipYrWhig:

    you win all the internets.

  48. 48.

    Mike in NC

    March 6, 2013 at 6:57 pm

    @danimal:Foster Friess, a different fat cat sociopath.

  49. 49.

    AxelFoley

    March 6, 2013 at 6:58 pm

    Oh, fuck, there’s too FUCKING MANY GREAT LINES to quote in this thread.

    I can’t. I just can’t. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

  50. 50.

    peach flavored shampoo

    March 6, 2013 at 7:02 pm

    Thats one way to treat one’s UTI.

  51. 51.

    AxelFoley

    March 6, 2013 at 7:02 pm

    Oooh, I got one:

    Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

  52. 52.

    aimai

    March 6, 2013 at 7:06 pm

    @Baud:
    Baud! FTW.

  53. 53.

    chopper

    March 6, 2013 at 7:06 pm

    i wonder if she was loading it with wadcutters.

  54. 54.

    danimal

    March 6, 2013 at 7:08 pm

    @Mike in NC: Oh, FFS, you can’t tell one asshole Republican billionaire from another anymore.

  55. 55.

    Face

    March 6, 2013 at 7:09 pm

    50+ comments and nobody asks why someone would want to smoke her crack crack?

  56. 56.

    Roger Moore

    March 6, 2013 at 7:10 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    Still eewwww for whoever had to check that into evidence.

    If they do body cavity searches, the cleaning requirements are going to be nothing new. This may be one of the stranger things they’ve found in a body cavity*, but the rest of the business is probably old hat.

    *ETA: or maybe not. I’m sure the stuff the police find in body cavity searches would shock the average civilian.

  57. 57.

    Quaker in a Basement

    March 6, 2013 at 7:11 pm

    She had meth in her crack?
    She got crack in her meth!

  58. 58.

    1badbaba3

    March 6, 2013 at 7:13 pm

    Okay, “gun nuts”? Nah?
    “She really gets off on guns?” Nah.
    “Hey, is that a gun in your hoo-hah or are you just glad to see me?”

    Man, this is harder than it looks.

    Damn, I did it again.

  59. 59.

    Wilson Heath

    March 6, 2013 at 7:16 pm

    I didn’t have to keep reading past gun in the vajay to know that meth was involved.

  60. 60.

    Quaker in a Basement

    March 6, 2013 at 7:17 pm

    OK, NOW try and tell me a gun isn’t a penis substitute.

  61. 61.

    rikyrah

    March 6, 2013 at 7:23 pm

    eeeewwww

    eeewwwwww

    eeeewwww

    scary

  62. 62.

    opie jeanne

    March 6, 2013 at 7:24 pm

    Still cringing, and not just from the puns here.

  63. 63.

    Gin & Tonic

    March 6, 2013 at 7:27 pm

    @Roger Moore: An old friend worked the ER in the now-defunct St. Vincent’s Hospital in the West Village (NYC) in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s. All sorts of cringe-inducing body cavity stories, if you get my drift.

  64. 64.

    OldBean

    March 6, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    @pacem appellant:

    I wish to point out, rather pedantically, that the gun could not have been sticking out her vagina, but rather her vulva. Most people have never seen a vagina, and never will.

    What version of the internet are you using? It must be a lot less fun than the one I’m on…

  65. 65.

    Roger Moore

    March 6, 2013 at 7:39 pm

    Happiness is a warm, wet gun.

  66. 66.

    Keith G

    March 6, 2013 at 7:47 pm

    Sounds like a Pussy Riot.

  67. 67.

    RedKitten

    March 6, 2013 at 7:48 pm

    She was just being proactive and trying to keep the Republicans out of her uterus. I see this becoming a trend.

  68. 68.

    OldBean

    March 6, 2013 at 7:50 pm

    Now that’s what I call an inpregnable defense.

  69. 69.

    OldBean

    March 6, 2013 at 7:51 pm

    I’ve always maintained that those who feel they need a handgun for defense are total pussies.

  70. 70.

    gbear

    March 6, 2013 at 7:52 pm

    I just got back from hearing my vet tell me about the incredibly giant abscess that they just removed from my cat’s ass, and this story grosses me out worse than that. It hasn’t been a good day…

  71. 71.

    Keith G

    March 6, 2013 at 8:04 pm

    @gbear: What was Rush Limbaugh doing on your cat’s ass?

  72. 72.

    Roger Moore

    March 6, 2013 at 8:08 pm

    @Keith G:
    No, no. Rush is a giant pilonidal cyst, not a giant abscess. Get your facts straight.

  73. 73.

    Keith G

    March 6, 2013 at 8:13 pm

    @Roger Moore: Check

  74. 74.

    1badbaba3

    March 6, 2013 at 8:15 pm

    Pulling the trigger never felt so good. How long before this gets turned into a sex aide or porn?

    Good gravy, I shudder to think of all the wingunut fapping going on over this. There’s so much for them here.

  75. 75.

    gbear

    March 6, 2013 at 8:21 pm

    @Keith G: Where else would he be?

  76. 76.

    opie jeanne

    March 6, 2013 at 8:21 pm

    @gbear: It freaked me out when someone in the comments under the article said that this little pistol DOESN’T HAVE A SAFETY!

    That just adds to the horror I feel for the officer who removed that thing.

  77. 77.

    gbear

    March 6, 2013 at 8:26 pm

    @opie jeanne:

    What a gunt.

    Too soon?

  78. 78.

    AxelFoley

    March 6, 2013 at 8:26 pm

    I’m still LOLing over this.

  79. 79.

    opie jeanne

    March 6, 2013 at 8:36 pm

    @gbear: I dunno, but maybe I should have said “the officer who had to fish it out.”

  80. 80.

    BruceJ

    March 6, 2013 at 9:05 pm

    @The Moar You Know: Nah, they also make itty-bitty holdout revolvers like this one.

    Commence your inner 12-YO snark… 8-)

  81. 81.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    March 6, 2013 at 9:43 pm

    Ships sail in and ships sail out…

    Not impressed, get back to me when they find a rifle in one. ;p

  82. 82.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    March 6, 2013 at 9:54 pm

    Redneck birth control. I heard that the police found a few million baby makers in a corner of her cooter, cowering in fear.

  83. 83.

    smike

    March 6, 2013 at 11:52 pm

    “First, any vagina with a gun in it — loaded or not — automatically qualifies as a “suspect” vagina.”

    I haven’t had such a good laugh in a long while. Thank you.

  84. 84.

    Forum Transmitted Disease

    March 7, 2013 at 12:02 am

    Nah, they also make itty-bitty holdout revolvers like this one.

    @BruceJ: I knew someone would bring that up. I own one. It’s not made by Freedom but rather North American Arms.

  85. 85.

    danielx

    March 7, 2013 at 12:47 am

    The crime that launched a thousand jokes…gives a whole new meaning to “concealed carry”, don’t it now? I’m trying to come up with one that plays on the old “this is a stickup!” line but so far no joy.

  86. 86.

    bad Jim

    March 7, 2013 at 3:19 am

    She just snatched it up because she was in a hurry.

  87. 87.

    xian

    March 7, 2013 at 7:08 am

    insert joke about snatch and grab crimes here

  88. 88.

    Paul in KY

    March 7, 2013 at 11:16 am

    @Quaker in a Basement: Sounds like the beginning of a new taste treat: Reece’s Methocaine!

  89. 89.

    Julia Grey

    March 7, 2013 at 12:23 pm

    You people. I swan.

  90. 90.

    Christy

    March 8, 2013 at 9:44 am

    @dmsilev:
    haha. i get it.

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