Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I did not have this on my fuck 2025 bingo card.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

… gradually, and then suddenly.

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Not loving this new fraud based economy.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.

In after Baud. Damn.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

The press swings at every pitch, we don’t have to.

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

If you don’t believe freedom is for everybody, then the thing you love isn’t freedom, it is privilege.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Sometimes the world just tells you your cat is here.

One lie, alone, tears the fabric of reality.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

I swear, each month of 2025 will have its own history degree.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

You are here: Home / Politics / An Unexamined Scandal / In Which Betty Cracker’s Day Is Made

In Which Betty Cracker’s Day Is Made

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Hey look, skeevy Florida Republican is skeevy and resigns as soon as the law comes looking.

Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll abruptly resigned amid law enforcement questions about a Florida Internet sweepstakes company at the center of a nationwide criminal investigation.

Florida Department of Law Enforcement interviewed Carroll Monday about her connections to the company, Allied Veterans of the World, a Florida-based non-profit that operates a chain of Internet cafes.

Carroll once owned a public relations firm that represented Allied Veterans, and she did work for the company at the same time she served in the Florida House. She resigned Tuesday.

It’s unclear if Carroll is the target of any criminal charges. Attorney General Pam Bondi and law enforcement officials have scheduled a 2:30 p.m. press conference in Orlando to discuss the case. Gov. Rick Scott also has announced an afternoon press conference.

Oh it’s unclear about the criminal charges, but the instant resignation miiiiiight be a clue.  What the hell is it with Republican Lieutenant Governors doing blatantly moronic stuff and resigning this year, anyway?

Reader Interactions

102Comments

  1. 1.

    shortstop

    There must be some mistake. Black women who look like that don’t resign from public office in disgrace.

  3. 3.

    Zifnab

    This confirms all the preconceptions I’ve ever had about black people and validates none of the criticisms I’ve ever heard against Republicans.

    /Florida Republican voter

  5. 5.

    c u n d gulag

    There must be some REAL SERIOUS charges, coming down the pike!

    I mean, when the Governor of the state is already a crook, having perpetrated medical fraud on a scale not before seen in this country, it’s gotta be really bad for the Lt. Governor to resign.

  6. 6.

    Betty Cracker

    Just heard about this and am still trying to run down the deets! I don’t know much about Carroll except that she is 1) shameless enough to sign onto a ticket that includes an amoral reptile like Rick Scott, and 2) allegedly a religious fanatic who thinks it’s appropriate to codify her dogma into FL law. And now a crook too!

    Scott’s polling numbers are already subzero. He’ll be approaching Cheney levels once this shakes out. All the FL Dems have to do is nominate someone who can fog a mirror to run against him! Sadly, they are capable of fucking that up.

  8. 8.

    some guy

    we have one of these “cafes” here in town, about a mile from our house. it’s a gambling joint with slot machines, pure and simple. the lowdown is they are also involved in skimming, and money laundering, so this could get interesting real quick.

  11. 11.

    Roger Moore

    @BGinCHI:

    How do you shame a Governor who’s already a criminal?

    Given that he’s a Republican, I’m guessing that shame is right out. Indict is about the only avenue available.

  12. 12.

    Comrade Dread

    Poor gal, she mastered Republicanism 101: Government: a social order created to generate wealth for you and your friends, but failed course 102: Ethics (or If you’re going to go for the big score, make sure you’re too smart to be caught or too popular, useful, or well-connected to be indicted.)

  13. 13.

    japa21

    What I want to know is how a group of retired moving van drivers would get involved in something like this.

  14. 14.

    scav

    TGOC has these handy little personal details for those of us less familiar with the local players.

    Carroll, a Republican, was the highest-ranking woman in state government and the first black official elected statewide.

    She took office as lieutenant governor in January 2011 and focused on aerospace job development and working with military contractors to increase economic activity of the armed forces in Florida.

    She is a former US navy officer and previously was executive director of Florida’s Department of Veterans Affairs.

    To add to the Police Union cops involvement. whee!

  15. 15.

    catclub

    @c u n d gulag: Oh come on, its like the double jeopardy exclusion. His company was already convicted before they elected him. So how could they throw him out for criminality?

  16. 16.

    maya

    Why can’t they just stick to something with a proven track record – derivative swapping?

  17. 17.

    Cassidy

    @kc: That’s just the beginning. They stand in the medians like the firemen, wearing military uniforms, soliciting donations. They accosted me and my wife in the mall one day with a “don’t you support veterans?”. My wife snatched me by the arm and picked up speed.

  18. 18.

    catclub

    @maya: “derivative swapping? ”

    yep, the trick is to first get your scam on the list of things the regulators are not allowed to regulate.

  20. 20.

    Suffern ACE

    @catclub:

    yep, the trick is to first get your scam on the list of things the regulators are not allowed to regulate.

    Which I believe is what she tried to do as a legislator.

  22. 22.

    JustRuss

    How is a string of gambling joints internet cafes “non-profit”? I’m guessing a fraction of one percent of the take goes to veterans, and the vast majority to “operating expenses”. Hope these jerks go down hard.

  24. 24.

    catclub

    @JustRuss: You know of course, that the same derision pretty much applies to Harvard.
    They have an over $500B endowment, they pay large salaries to their adminstrators, and they do things that primarily benefit, if anyone, the children of their rich alumni. They have just been at it longer than the Allied Veterans.

  26. 26.

    jl

    @catclub: But Harvard shills stand in the middle of quiet back rooms and fancy parties, not road medians. Harvard is more genteel, hence more worthy.

  27. 27.

    Ash Can

    Not that I’m defending Carroll in any way, but what are the chances of this particular rot permeating the top of state government and the lone AA female being made the fall guy for it?

  31. 31.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @BGinCHI:

    This is a problem, to be sure.

    Lex Luthor needs to be locked away in a dank, dark cell the rest of his vile life.

    His wife, too. A separate cell next door.

  32. 32.

    burnspbesq

    Further ETA:

    The stench is strong here. From the front page of Guidestar information:

    This organization’s exempt status was automatically revoked by the IRS for failure to file a Form 990, 990-EZ, 990-N, or 990-PF for 3 consecutive years. Further investigation and due diligence are warranted.

  33. 33.

    Cassidy

    @Ash Can: I don’t think so. There are a lot of names coming out of this including the FOP President here in Jacksonville who has been arrested.

  35. 35.

    NonyNony

    @burnspbesq:

    Um, burns? There isn’t any information there.

    Well other than:

    This organization’s exempt status was automatically revoked by the IRS for failure to file a Form 990, 990-EZ, 990-N, or 990-PF for 3 consecutive years. Further investigation and due diligence are warranted.

    And some annual revenue and expenses from 2003, claiming that they made $130 and spent $121 (or are those in thousands of dollars – I’m not sure of the assumptions on that page).

    So … I’m not sure what this link is supposed to be telling us? Care to explain it for the non-tax lawyers in the audience?

  36. 36.

    raven

    And we all remember :

    While Command Sergeant Major William O. Wooldridge was stationed in Germany, he worked with several senior noncommissioned officers (NCOs) who skimmed $350,000 per year from the slot machine profits at the clubs of the 24th Infantry Division in the area of Augsburg-Mannheim, Germany. This was just the start. The so-called “Khaki Mafia” operation moved to Fort Benning, Georgia, and then to Vietnam. After Command Sergeant Major Wooldridge completed his tenure as the Sergeant Major of the Army, he requested to be stationed in Vietnam, where he was the Command Sergeant Major of the Military Assistance Command. He meticulously selected the NCOs who were put in charge of the clubs. The clubs purchased merchandise through Maredem, Ltd. (a corporation developed by Wooldridge).

  37. 37.

    raven

    And we all remember :

    While Command Sergeant Major William O. Wooldridge was stationed in Germany, he worked with several senior noncommissioned officers (NCOs) who skimmed $350,000 per year from the slot machine profits at the clubs of the 24th Infantry Division in the area of Augsburg-Mannheim, Germany. This was just the start. The so-called “Khaki Mafia” operation moved to Fort Benning, Georgia, and then to Vietnam. After Command Sergeant Major Wooldridge completed his tenure as the Sergeant Major of the Army, he requested to be stationed in Vietnam, where he was the Command Sergeant Major of the Military Assistance Command. He meticulously selected the NCOs who were put in charge of the clubs. The clubs purchased merchandise through Maredem, Ltd. (a corporation developed by Wooldridge).

  38. 38.

    raven

    And we all remember :

    While Command Sergeant Major William O. Wooldridge was stationed in Germany, he worked with several senior noncommissioned officers (NCOs) who skimmed $350,000 per year from the slot machine profits at the clubs of the 24th Infantry Division in the area of Augsburg-Mannheim, Germany. This was just the start. The so-called “Khaki Mafia” operation moved to Fort Benning, Georgia, and then to Vietnam. After Command Sergeant Major Wooldridge completed his tenure as the Sergeant Major of the Army, he requested to be stationed in Vietnam, where he was the Command Sergeant Major of the Military Assistance Command. He meticulously selected the NCOs who were put in charge of the clubs. The clubs purchased merchandise through Maredem, Ltd. (a corporation developed by Wooldridge).

  39. 39.

    NonyNony

    @NonyNony:

    Nevermind – I see now that I have to create an account to get access to anything real. And then I get the fun of reading tax documents.

  41. 41.

    nemesis

    There is something called Spinners Internet Sweepstakes in a strip mall near my home. Wonder if they are connected with this?

  45. 45.

    Todd

    OT – Cal Thomas needs to be carted off to the looney bin posthaste. Check out his ALLCAPS rant about the pope.

    http://www.calthomas.com/index.php?news=3917

    CAL THOMAS COMMENTARY MARCH 12, 2013

    THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH THIS WEEKS BEGINS THE PROCESS OF SELECTING ANOTHER POPE. THE MEDIA SEEM FOCUSED ON THE POLITICS AND THE SEX SCANDALS. WHAT THEY ARE NOT FOCUSING ON IS CHURCH DOCTRINE.
    …
    THE IDEA OF A POPE IS BASED ON A FALSE INTERPRETATION OF SCRIPTURE, THAT JESUS WANTED TO BUILD HIS CHURCH ON PETER, INSTEAD OF HIMSELF. WHY WOULD JESUS BUILD HIS CHURCH ON A SINFUL MAN? HE BUILDS IT UPON THE ROCK, ALL RIGHT, BUT THAT ROCK IS HIMSELF. THEN THERE’S THE ISSUE OF CONFESSION TO A PRIEST, NOT TO MENTION PURGATORY WHICH IS NOT MENTIONED IN SCRIPTURE AND SUGGESTS THAT THE BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST IS INSUFFICIENT TO CLEANSE FROM ALL SIN, AGAIN, A VIOLATION OF BIBLICAL TRUTH.

    There are another couple of paragraphs, but you get the idea.

  46. 46.

    TriassicSands

    What the hell is it with Republican Lieutenant Governors doing blatantly moronic stuff

    I’m going to offer a wild guess — They’re morons?

  49. 49.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    @Todd:

    Odd, innit, how an all knowing and omnipresent deity seems to need so many people to explain what the deity wants from us. Odd, too, that so many of those people disagree with each other.

  55. 55.

    Another Halocene Human

    Whoa, Lt Gov “I Am Not A Lesbian” was knuckles-deep in that shady “internet cafe” storefront casino business? The same one that takes the SSD checks from the mentally incompetent every month? Oh boo hoo hoo. Boo hoo hoo hoo.

    Those places made somebody I know homeless. He’s not a great guy or anything (the state, thank God, took his kid away) but he got bashed up the head one too many times when he was much younger and he doesn’t deserve to be homeless. Besides which, the taxpayers are supposed to be supporting him monthly, so why the f*** is that money not going to a roof over his head? His effective IQ these days is around 85. He can lose his whole check to that place in a day.

    I really don’t care if rich fucks fly to Vegas or Macau and lose thousands on a roulette or blackjack table. (I find it hilarious that if you win at blackjack, they show you the door–fah fah!) I do care when people with subnormal intelligence or addiction problems get taken advantage of by slot machine and computer gambling places … hell, the state lottery makes me sick, too. It should be stripped down, bare bones, less products and no marketing. Just enough to keep organized crime from creating their own. That’s the only benefit a state lottery provides.

  56. 56.

    Another Halocene Human

    halp, I referred to Lt Gov Token’s business connections and forgot they were illegal to say on wordpress, please unmoderate me!

  58. 58.

    catclub

    @Todd: I am fairly sure that Cal Thomas is Episcopalian – or was the extremely conservative version thereof – might have jumped to one of the Anglican-USA churches after 2003.

    But that still looks like someone else took over his account.
    Episcopalians generally have heard “You are Peter and on this rock…”

    Petros is of course, rock. And aimai can note more puns and analogies.

  59. 59.

    Another Halocene Human

    On Monday, leaders of the company and the head of Jacksonville’s police union were arrested on charges of racketeering and money laundering. Investigators

    O.M.G.

  61. 61.

    Schlemizel

    @raven:

    HEY! No reason only the big corporations should make huge bucks off the wasting of young mens lives! Individual contributors like the Sgt. Major deserve a slice of that blood money too! Stop being so elitist.

  62. 62.

    scav

    OK, In the spirit of FYWP solidarity, I’ll add this random but rhymes “charity” : The United States Navy Veterans Association (USNVA) — all the fun (well, fewer dice) with a lot more fiction. huzzah for “Lt. Commander Bobby Thompson” and his fake girlfriend staff! They (or their invisible leader) also dabbled in political donations to one of our wild-eyed mad-cap favorites.

  63. 63.

    Eric U.

    @Todd: funny thing about that screed is that Cal Thomas is one of the most egregious liars that I can think of. I guess it’s not a sin if it’s for a good cause

  64. 64.

    Another Halocene Human

    Internet cafes are big business in Florida. Since 2007, as many as 1,000 have popped up across the state, according to industry estimates, raking in $1 billion a year.

    Yes, they are called internet cafes but they are actually computerized g m b l n g dens.

    You can go to the library or a copy shop to use the internet. Or the ‘bux or McDo if you have a wifi enabled device. And you can get a discount no contract data plan prepaid phone from Walmart.

    Pretty sure nothing goes on in those places but separating disabled and elderly folks from their monthly checks.

  66. 66.

    patroclus

    Habemas papam. Don’t know who, don’t really care – let’s hope he won’t molest too many boys.

  67. 67.

    Chris

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:

    Yeah, you’d think God would have picked a more efficient delivery system.

    Hence why my bandwagon isn’t so much “there is no God” or “organized religion is wrong about God,” but “it doesn’t matter if there’s a God or if this or that holy book is completely right about him, because people will read into it whatever they want anyway, and there’s not really a mechanism to prevent them from doing it.”

  68. 68.

    Schlemizel

    @Suffern ACE:

    POPE!? I have no pope!

    Probably sounds funnier in my head where the voice of a hysteric parent is shouting it than on the screen,

  69. 69.

    jl

    @Todd: Cal Thomas is really Anne (or is it Jane) Boleyn’s head, post execution? Noonan maybe on to something (not sure how she did that, though).

  70. 70.

    Another Halocene Human

    @c u n d gulag: Being in the pay of criminals while Black, I believe is the charge.

    Fuck, her resignation is a bigger story than her ties to the ***expletive deleted*** dens.

  74. 74.

    Another Halocene Human

    I guess Scott sent her back just like his dog. He needs to find another Black Republican and pray the press doesn’t ask too many questions. (I believe Thomas Sowell is available.)

  77. 77.

    Another Halocene Human

    @Betty Cracker: Is something wrong with Crist? I mean, he sucks, but not like that other guy sucks. What we really need is to keep chipping away at the legislature.

    Don’t forget, Carroll was 2 cute 2b not str8.

  78. 78.

    Chris

    @scav:

    Based on how short that was, I’m going to assume that the entire succession was more or less planned out before Benny even resigned, and that the entire conclave was pretty much just a formality.

    Hopefully, the identity of the new Pope will disprove my pessimistic appraisal of the situation. We’ll see.

  80. 80.

    quannlace

    Hah, just read Charlie Pierce’s column on the bartender who taped Romney’s 47% speech, coming forward today.
    Seem’s Bill Clinton was the reason he had a camera there that night. He was bartending an event Clinton was at, and the Prez came back to meet and talk to the waiters and other staff. When the guy learned he was going to be working an event with Romney, he took his camera in case he could get a photo with the candidate.
    Romney talking with the Help? You’ve gotta be kidding.

  81. 81.

    Another Halocene Human

    @some guy: Perp walk! Perp walk!

    My post that got FYWP’d was a rant about someone I know (who is independent but not completely mentally competent) who is homeless thanks to these f***ing places, oh yeah, the storefronts are all over the Black neighborhoods, just one on the big highway.

    I never for a second thought it was for charity. I figured the name was to attract veterans with checks and gullible olds and to distract the community for a time about their real nature.

    The rich ppl in Gainesville have raffles, “ca-FYWP night”, “caribbean cruise” gala, etc, but it’s not real gambling, a lot of stuff is charity auctions, sometimes raffles, basically a big excuse for a party where everybody pats each other on the back, drinks too much shitty Publix wine and shows off how generous they are to the hospital/orchestra/United Way.

    Btw, the United Way sucks. Just thought I’d add that. Ironically the biggest rank and file hourly worker dildos who won’t join the union also don’t donate to UW because they’re cheap and because UW gives to Planned Parenthood which is 97% abortions, trufax. Hahahaha. AFL-CIO and myself independently told UW to fuck themselves years ago. They’re set up to reward managers who sign up more of their departmental employees, so besides the inefficiency and graft they’re total fucksticks for that, too.

  83. 83.

    Another Halocene Human

    @some guy: Perp walk! Perp walk!

    My post that got FYWP’d was a rant about someone I know (who is independent but not completely mentally competent) who is homeless thanks to these f***ing places, oh yeah, the storefronts are all over the Black neighborhoods, just one on the big highway.

    I never for a second thought it was for charity. I figured the name was to attract veterans with checks and gullible olds and to distract the community for a time about their real nature.

    The rich ppl in Gainesville have r6ffl3s, “ca-FYWP night”, “caribbean cruise” gala, etc, but it’s not real g6mbl1ng, a lot of stuff is charity auctions, sometimes r6ffl3s, basically a big excuse for a party where everybody pats each other on the back, drinks too much shitty Publix wine and shows off how generous they are to the hospital/orchestra/United Way.

    Btw, the United Way sucks. Just thought I’d add that. Ironically the biggest rank and file hourly worker dildos who won’t join the union also don’t donate to UW because they’re cheap and because UW gives to Planned Parenthood which is 97% abortions, trufax. Hahahaha. AFL-CIO and myself independently told UW to fuck themselves years ago. They’re set up to reward managers who sign up more of their departmental employees, so besides the inefficiency and graft they’re total fucksticks for that, too.

  84. 84.

    JustRuss

    @catclub: Harvard educated the vascular surgeon that saved my daughter’s life. They may not be perfect, but I wouldn’t say they provide no societal benefits. Unless we’re talking about their business school.

  85. 85.

    Roger Moore

    @Chris:

    Hopefully, the identity of the new Pope will disprove my pessimistic appraisal of the situation.

    The Emperor does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation.

  86. 86.

    Trollhattan

    @quannlace:

    Romney talking with the Help? You’ve gotta be kidding.

    Oh, I suppose he talks at the help rather frequently.

    I’ll take Hero Bartenders for five-hundred, Alex. Hope this dude’s countertops are shipshape.

  89. 89.

    Another Halocene Human

    Is it bad that I’m breathing a sigh of relief that accused Jax FOP head Nelson Cuba isn’t black?

  90. 90.

    raven

    POPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPEPOPE

  92. 92.

    Chris

    @Roger Moore:

    Thanks for catching that :D I amused myself last week by slipping that phrase into one of my papers for class. Doubt the prof caught it (they’re weekly literature reviews which I doubt if he even reads), but I find entertainment where I can.

  93. 93.

    Another Halocene Human

    Charities are considered to be operating effectively when they spend at least 60 percent on programs.

    This from that Jax story (which is veddy interesting, that you scav). I’d say 80%, but they had to set the bar low for the United Way, which despite being mostly a passthrough is lucky to clear 65%.

    Those letterman jackets and other prizes for managers have to come from somewhere! Yup, lowly hourly worker, didja know you’re signing up to underwrite a manager’s party?! Betcha didn’t know that!

  97. 97.

    Another Halocene Human

    I found her! Jax TU user “alta” revealed herself to be Lt Gov Carroll on a post in 2010 by reporter Harding (who she aggressively attacks in comments over timeline and nature of statements to reporters). She last posted 12/2012 pretending to be, um, Alta who is not Lt. Gov. Carroll? On a story about Carroll. With lots of details. Hahahahaha!!

    http://jacksonville.com/users/alta

    Have fun!

  100. 100.

    burnspbesq

    @NonyNony:

    Care to explain it for the non-tax lawyers in the audience?

    If these guys were compliant (which they clearly are not), a Guidestar subscriber (I am one) would be able to view and download several years worth of Forms 990, which would provide a detailed picture of the organization’s finances and activities.

    The simple fact that they have been non-compliant with their IRS filing obligations for several years is, I think, enough to make anyone’s spidey-senses start twitching. The fact that the IRS Criminal Investigation Division, and not the exempt-organization bureaucrats in Washington or Cincinnati, are on the case is another tell.

    Protip: if an IRS person ever identifies themselves to you as a “special agent” rather than a “revenue agent,” shut up and lawyer up. You’re talking to CID.

  101. 101.

    Another Halocene Human

    I googled Wounded Warriors Project. I agree, scam. Gets a lot of low ratings by charity evaluators. Basically fundraising/salary/junket machine for the board. Ugh.

    And based in Jacksonville, Florida!

  102. 102.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Buried among all the NEW POPE! stories is an AP article saying that 57 people from Florida and five other states have been charged in connection with this. Jennifer Carroll evidently is not one of them.

    Yet.

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