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You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / It’s Nice to See Some Consistency

It’s Nice to See Some Consistency

by @heymistermix.com|  March 18, 20138:55 am| 51 Comments

This post is in: Republican Stupidity

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John Boehner:

“Rob is a great friend and a long-time ally,” Boehner, the top Republican in Congress, told ABC’s “This Week.”

“I believe that marriage is the union of one man and one woman. It’s what I grew up with. It’s what I believe. It’s what my church teaches me. And I can’t imagine that position would ever change,” added Boehner, who is a Roman Catholic.

Boehner has two daughters. If he hasn’t changed any of his positions based on that, why would anyone think he’d give a shit about what Rob Portman did?

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51Comments

  1. 1.

    Aimai

    March 18, 2013 at 9:01 am

    Boehner is such a good, believing catholic. He was one of eleven children. If he only has two children he and the missus have either been celibate, lucky, or using birth control.

  2. 2.

    Aimai

    March 18, 2013 at 9:02 am

    Boehner is such a good catholic. He’s one of eleven children but only has two children? Someone is using birth control.

  3. 3.

    John S.

    March 18, 2013 at 9:07 am

    @Aimai:

    He’s a Cafeteria Catholic: he picks and chooses the parts he likes, and avoids the parts he doesn’t like. Ironically, his preferences tend more towards the Old Testament.

  4. 4.

    White Trash Liberal

    March 18, 2013 at 9:11 am

    Modern Catholicism allows you leeway on your beliefs provided you are an unwavering bigot and misogynist. By those standards, Boehner will be canonized as the patron saint of highballs.

  5. 5.

    Ash Can

    March 18, 2013 at 9:18 am

    @John S.: You’ll be hard pressed to find any practicing Catholic who isn’t of the cafeteria variety. The thing is, some ignore the parts that actively harm other people and focus on those that do actual good, while for people like Boehner it’s the other way around.

  6. 6.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    March 18, 2013 at 9:19 am

    If Boehner takes the bus to work then I still have hope for the GOP.

  7. 7.

    debbie

    March 18, 2013 at 9:23 am

    One of Portman’s friends in the Ohio GOP (can’t remember the name) said he was saddened and hurt by Portman’s change of heart. The GOP will never become a more welcoming party, let alone displaying any sense of compassion.

  8. 8.

    Scott S.

    March 18, 2013 at 9:23 am

    He’s very consistent. He wants things to suck for as many people as possible.

  9. 9.

    Punchy

    March 18, 2013 at 9:27 am

    Boner’s in his…what….late 40’s? Early 50s? I will bet $1000 that he changes his mind on this before he pushes up daisies, assuming cirrhosis of his liver doesn’t take him in 3 years or less.

  10. 10.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    March 18, 2013 at 9:29 am

    @debbie: Which is why, when I look at Portman’s change of heart, however it occurred, I look at it in the context of where it was occurring. From his position, it was a very big leap. Props for changing, and hoping he changes some more. I don’t expect him to change a lot, but it all adds up.

  11. 11.

    Mark S.

    March 18, 2013 at 9:35 am

    @Aimai:

    You left out the possibility of impotence.

    ETA: I was curious if that last word would trip the spam filter.

  12. 12.

    NotMax

    March 18, 2013 at 9:38 am

    @Punchy

    Boehner is 63 (born in late 1949).

  13. 13.

    max

    March 18, 2013 at 9:40 am

    In other news, Paul Wolfowitz speaks!:

    Speaking with The Sunday Times to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the U.S. invasion of Iraq, Wolfowitz conceded that there “should have been Iraqi leadership from the beginning” as opposed to a 14-month American occupation.[…]Long thought of as one of the chief architects of the Bush administration’s Iraq policy, Wolfowitz quibbled with the distinction, asserting that the war “wasn’t conducted according to my plan.”

    Translation: It’s not my fault, Ahmed Chalabi, I didn’t do it, it was a great idea, Ahmed Chalabi, everything worked out OK, but it would have worked out as OK but massively better if we’d just installed Ahmed Chalabi as our puppet.

    In conclusion: Chalabi brand™ invasions – because everything would be wonderful forever.

    max
    [‘Colonel Klink did it.’]

  14. 14.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    March 18, 2013 at 9:42 am

    According to what I have read at shitholes like Redstate, Portman isn’t a real conservative because he didn’t toss his son under the bus. Now I could easily imagine Boehner or many other teabagger conservatives who would do just that to prove their conservative credentials and keep being reelected. When it comes to money and power, family don’t mean shit to a True Conservative.

    That’s what happens when someone sells their soul.

  15. 15.

    Jay in Oregon

    March 18, 2013 at 9:47 am

    How long will it be before we see Portman’s name floated as a possible savior for the GOP in 2016?

  16. 16.

    geg6

    March 18, 2013 at 9:47 am

    @Punchy:

    Actually, he’s 64 (born in 1949). And I’d take your bet. He’s not gonna change his mind. He doesn’t do anything to help out his siblings who have not come up in the world as far as he has, so why would he change his mind on this?

  17. 17.

    Southern Beale

    March 18, 2013 at 9:49 am

    Boehner has two daughters.

    I wonder if Mr. and Mrs. Boehner used birth control to keep their family size so small. Just wondering.

  18. 18.

    NotMax

    March 18, 2013 at 9:52 am

    @geg6

    Nitpick, yes, but he doesn’t turn 64 until November.

  19. 19.

    artem1s

    March 18, 2013 at 9:59 am

    haven’t figured out what Portman is up to yet. He’s four years out from another Senate Campaign so I’m guessing this revelation about his son doesn’t affect that too much. His shift on marriage might be about positioning himself for a White House run in 2016. But it certainly doesn’t get him past the GOP primaries unless the fix is in already with the money people.

    this guy just doesn’t do this kind of thing without some calculated upside. I’m not saying no other politician does this; just that I haven’t figured out his angle yet.

    There is likely to be a pretty big effort to overturn the anti-gay amendment here in Ohio, during either the 2014 statewide elections (see King John, Governor) or 2016 presidential election. But again, I can’t think of a way this helps him unless he is aiming at increasing his national appeal for a WH run. Of course there will be a percentage of independent voters who won’t care as long as he continues the 47% smackdown and regulation of the uteratii.

  20. 20.

    Schlemizel

    March 18, 2013 at 10:02 am

    Pretty sure we will need to see the entire generation currently leading the GOP die off before they actually change on this issue. There will still be the hardcore crew cut boys from Liberty that will be against it but they will be pushed into the closet in order to win elections.

    Bonner will not change even if his girls come out simply because his position is more important than his family

  21. 21.

    MomSense

    March 18, 2013 at 10:05 am

    @max:

    And when does the war paying for itself part start? He was very clear about that part.

  22. 22.

    Joey Maloney

    March 18, 2013 at 10:11 am

    I want to hear someone ask Orange Julius if he would change his opinion if he discovered that he himself was gay.

  23. 23.

    jrg

    March 18, 2013 at 10:16 am

    @Punchy: Boner’s in his…what….late 40′s? Early 50s? I will bet $1000 that he changes his mind on this before he pushes up daisies as soon as he decides not to run for re-election.

  24. 24.

    Roger Moore

    March 18, 2013 at 10:16 am

    @Aimai:

    Boehner is such a good, believing catholic. He was one of eleven children. If he only has two children he and the missus have either been celibate, lucky, or using birth control.

    Catholic doctrine also opposes capital punishment and the Pope condemned the invasion of Iraq. I guess some Church doctrines are more equal than others.

  25. 25.

    Suffern ACE

    March 18, 2013 at 10:27 am

    @Jay in Oregon:

    How long will it be before we see Portman’s name floated as a possible savior for the GOP in 2016?

    Yes. I can see that…I don’t see it working. But I can see floating the idea that Portman giving the speech on the floor of the convention as being about as effective as having a latino giving a speech and being drown out by a chourus of USA! USA! changts was.

    Although maybe instead of winning 54% of white males under 30, the party would win 55% of white males under 30. So you never know.

  26. 26.

    Villago Delenda Est

    March 18, 2013 at 10:30 am

    Here’s the thing…Portman’s position may have changed based on his personal circumstances, but he can’t take the leap to apply that change to other matters. He didn’t learn the full lesson…that perhaps, just perhaps, putting yourself in the other guy’s shoes MIGHT indicate that other things you hold as “matters of principle” are not so unwavering as you might think.

    Boner obviously isn’t ready for that leap, but is Portman? Does it take some personal major emotional event for these people to ever reexamine their “matters of principle”.

  27. 27.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    March 18, 2013 at 10:33 am

    @Villago Delenda Est: Imagine if Portman’s son’s boyfriend was black.

    To answer your question, one event forms a crack, two causes it to leak. It can take a number of things before you truly get to “Wait, maybe everyone else is different from me.” I’ve been working on my mom for years.

  28. 28.

    Villago Delenda Est

    March 18, 2013 at 10:35 am

    @max:

    Warmongering fucktard learned nothing at all from his fuckup.

  29. 29.

    Linda Featheringill

    March 18, 2013 at 10:53 am

    @Joey Maloney:

    I want to hear someone ask Orange Julius if he would change his opinion if he discovered that he himself was gay.

    Why do you think he drinks so much?

  30. 30.

    RaflW

    March 18, 2013 at 11:12 am

    @debbie: Pardon my anger, but how the fuck is a straight male Ohio Republican hurt by Portman deciding that teh gey is now OK?

    Man up, you quivering puddle of fee-fees. If you can be hurt by a pol changing his mind, you need serious help.

  31. 31.

    cane giallo

    March 18, 2013 at 11:18 am

    A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.

    -Ralph Waldo Emerson (Self-Reliance)

  32. 32.

    Tonybrown74

    March 18, 2013 at 11:21 am

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent):

    Imagine if Portman’s son’s boyfriend was black.

    Ha! Guess who’s coming to dinner …

    I’ve actually been in that position. I was just dropping my caucasian friend off at his parents house, and he just wanted to show me the place.

    His father immediately came up to me and offered to call me a cab so I can leave.

    His racism was so ham-handed I actually laughed out loud. Everyone else – my friend, his mother, and the two sisters that were there – was horrified. I just merely stated that I didn’t need the cab, but thanks; I will leave AFTER my friend gave me the tour of the house.

  33. 33.

    Cris (without an H)

    March 18, 2013 at 11:22 am

    “We’ve got two children, and we’ve had sexual intercourse twice.”

  34. 34.

    ottercliff

    March 18, 2013 at 11:22 am

    I assume he has adequately instructed his daughters on avoiding the horrible sin of using contraception, as also dictated by his Church.

  35. 35.

    dopey-o

    March 18, 2013 at 11:29 am

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    “warmongering fucktard (wolfowitz) learned nothing at all from his fuckup.”

    lessons learned:
    1. invade oil-rich country
    2. throw lots of surplus cash around during chaos
    3. (something else)
    4. profit!

  36. 36.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    March 18, 2013 at 11:30 am

    Is it against the rules here to read the other comments before posting your own, or do just very few people do it?

  37. 37.

    patroclus

    March 18, 2013 at 11:36 am

    Boehner is a creature of his conference and, just like the Senate, virtually every single Republican Member of the House (with the exception of Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, who represents South Beach) has adopted downright evil positions on gay rights, actively dropping drones on our basic human rights every single day of every year. They try to eliminate adoptions in D.C. by gay parents, they eliminate GLBT’s from the VAWA, they try to prevent us from marrying (without a peep from notable civil libertarian Glenn Greenwald who seems to think Republicans are the equivalent to Democrats on these issues).

    To expect Boehner to change his positions is like expecting the notoriously anti-gay Pope Francis, who thinks gay rights are the propogation of the “Father of Lies,” to change his positions. Boehner is an evil bigot on gay issues; he has always been an evil bigot on gay issues; and he will continue to be an evil bigot on gay issues til the day he dies.

  38. 38.

    aimai

    March 18, 2013 at 11:37 am

    I was just kidding about not knowing about Cafeteria Catholics. I actually rather admire Boehner for the way he says things that are patently false or misleading, or at any rate clearly anodyne and vague, as though he is too bored even to feign indignation or enthusiasm. He didn’t say he would fight to the death to legislate “traditional marriage” or even that he would oppose GLBT rights. He gave the political equivalent of what you say when the baby is really ugly and you don’t want to offend the parents and you also don’t really care to speak truth to power or rock the boat. “Now, that’s a baby.”

    “I believe, I was taught”–who can argue with that? Its all either so vague or so in the past that it can’t be challenged, exactly, but it also doesn’t offer any challenge. Boehner could turn on a dime or renounce his statement for all practical purposes without contradicting himself. The church could keep “teaching” this bit of dogma without it insisting on putting it into policy practice. Boehner’s very remark is so passive that its hard to take it seriously. He checked the box marked “conventional” and moved on.

    To me that means that in a lot of ways Boehner knows the jig is up on all this homophobic stuff but he doesn’t feel impelled to make a stand, one way or another, that will rock the boat for the next election cycle.

  39. 39.

    Roger Moore

    March 18, 2013 at 11:38 am

    @Xecky Gilchrist:

    Is it against the rules here to read the other comments before posting your own, or do just very few people do it?

    Yes, it’s completely against the rules. Nobody is ever allowed to read anything anyone else has said. In fact, I didn’t actually read your comment before posting this reply.

  40. 40.

    Tonybrown74

    March 18, 2013 at 11:52 am

    @Aimai:

    That household must go through TONS of aspirin …

  41. 41.

    patroclus

    March 18, 2013 at 11:53 am

    @aimai: I don’t really agree. Speakers of the House are asked so many questions all the time that, like WH Press Secretaries, they tend to develop almost a sixth sense of how to answer the question without really saying anything. Sam Rayburn was excellent at this; John McCormick good, Carl Albert excellent, Tip O’Neill good, Jim Wright not so good, Tom Foley excellent, Dennis Hastert great, Nancy Pelosi good. The only real exception to this is Newt Gingrich who went out of his way to say controversial things all the time, which is one reason why he was dumped.

    Boehner saying insipid things means nothing in the grand scheme, in my view. He’s a creature of his caucus – he won’t be switching from his evil positions on gay rights until the Republican Conference does. And Portman, by using his son rather than equal protection of the laws as his justification for the switch, has given the House Republicans no reason to follow his lead.

  42. 42.

    Patricia Kayden

    March 18, 2013 at 11:55 am

    @debbie: Not sure if you’re correct. I would think that if the Supreme Court upholds gay rights in its current cases (I believe they are argued next week), the GOP will have to come on over to reality. They cannot hold out on gay rights forever given that society as a whole has moved forward on that issue.

    http://www.thereporter.com/ci_22810387/partisan-split-marks-supreme-court-gay-marriage-cases

  43. 43.

    LanceThruster

    March 18, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    @Aimai:

    If he only has two children he and the missus have either been celibate, lucky, or using birth control.

    Or a sodomite.

    And if he’s such a good Catholic shouldn’t that read “unlucky” as children are a gift from God, nu?

  44. 44.

    patroclus

    March 18, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    @Patricia Kayden: At best, any favorable ruling will be either 5-4 or 6-3 – with Kennedy and Roberts as the “swing” votes and Scalia, Scalito and Thomas implacably opposed. The original civil rights rulings were either unanimous (Brown v. Board) or almost so (Boynton v. Virginia) – to attain a sea change in opinion, unanimity is almost required. We won’t get that – Scalia’s dissent will give ample reasons for the Republicans to continue in their evil bigoted ways. I don’t see the Republicans changing unless it’s nearly unanimous.

    And we could still lose. Kennedy has generally been pro-gay rights, but counting on him is iffy at best. Roberts said some pro gay stuff at his hearings but has never followed through with anything whatsoever. This is not a fait accompli – Olson and Boies need to be on their game next week.

  45. 45.

    NonyNony

    March 18, 2013 at 12:12 pm

    @artem1s:

    haven’t figured out what Portman is up to yet. He’s four years out from another Senate Campaign so I’m guessing this revelation about his son doesn’t affect that too much. … I’m not saying no other politician does this; just that I haven’t figured out his angle yet.

    His angle is that his son came out to him two years ago. So he had to wait until some optimal time after the last election and his upcoming one to let the cat out of the bag, and he figured two years was good.

    Another part of his angle – his son is now a Junior in college. It’s very likely that his son is involved in a relationship and Portman is looking at the possibility that sometime in the next four years he’s going to have to attend a gay wedding ceremony. Better to get it out there for the anti-gay base now and put his cards on the table than have it suddenly pop out of nowhere in 2016 when the announcement comes during his reelection campaign.

  46. 46.

    Gloryb

    March 18, 2013 at 12:16 pm

    @Patricia Kayden: Yeah, we thought that after Brown v. Bd of Ed, too.

  47. 47.

    Yutsano

    March 18, 2013 at 12:16 pm

    @NonyNony:

    Better to get it out there for the anti-gay base now and put his cards on the table than have it suddenly pop out of nowhere in 2016 when the announcement comes during his reelection campaign.

    Or a teabagger’s oppo research shows him at his son’s wedding and it blows up in his face. I personally think he’s ungestuppt no matter what. He hasn’t exactly been a stellar Senator.

  48. 48.

    JustRuss

    March 18, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    Awesome. Nothing illustrates how out of touch the GOP is better than their anti-gay marriage stance. They can’t spin it, and they can’ t blame Obama. Keep marginalizing yourselves, geniuses.

  49. 49.

    NonyNony

    March 18, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    @Yutsano:

    I personally think he’s ungestuppt no matter what. He hasn’t exactly been a stellar Senator.

    Meh. His reelection campaign is for 2016, which means that he’ll be campaigning during a presidential election.

    To me that suggests that his campaign will go the way that the presidential campaign goes in 2016. If the GOP primary is a Tea Party Upset, he’ll probably be ousted. If the GOP primary is a fake Tea Party Upset (where the guy who gets the nod is actually approved of by the establishment but uses all the right words to soothe the TPers) he’ll probably be okay for the primary.

    If there’s huge turnout for the Dem presidential candidate, though, he’ll be toast. Unless he can get the Dems to run Lee Fisher against him again, then all bets are off.

  50. 50.

    wuzzat

    March 18, 2013 at 1:15 pm

    @Aimai: You knowm as a recovering Catholic myself, I’ve always thought that one of the weirdest mysteries of the church is the belief that, while God routinely changes the metaphysical aspect of the host to the body and blood of Christ while allowing it to maintain the outward physical semblance of stale styrofoam, He can’t poke a hole in a condom.

  51. 51.

    Kathy in St. Louis

    March 18, 2013 at 8:06 pm

    All the “Radtrad” Catholics out there, which I think stands for something like radically traditional, whine day in and day out about all the “supermarket Catholics” who pick and choose what they believe. The translation of that one is that more liberal Catholics believe in birth control and a woman’s right to choose. Yet, the Radtrads don’t ever think that guys like Boehner are supermarket guys when they talk about what super Catholics they are and screw the poor over in their budgets. Boehner and Ryan are two mega market, Sam’s Club, style Catholics. I wouldn’t even consider them to still be Catholic, if I still practiced. Wonder how all the Cardinals are going to feel about their budget offerings now that their new boss is “pro-poor folks”.

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