Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

I really should read my own blog.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

You are here: Home / You Are the Wind Beneath My Wings

You Are the Wind Beneath My Wings

by | 71 Comments

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I have no idea what Mistermix is talking about– I have nothing but respect for each and everyone of you and recognize you for the unique souls that you are, each one of you an individual snowflake sparkling in the December morning sun. You are the green shoots pushing through tough March dirt who need to be nurtured and adored. I’m not so sure why Mistermix hates you all so much, but all I have to say is I love you.

Reader Interactions

71Comments

  1. 1.

    schrodinger's cat

    Does this mean that the mustard has been found? Or did you raid Tunch’s catnip?

  4. 4.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Mistermix does seem to have some social interaction issues. Truthfully, I thought it was me but now I see it’s bigger than that. All we can do is love him as hard as we can and thereby show him how to love. It’s the only thing that works.

  6. 6.

    Cassidy

    One day, we’re gonna get a post with a pic of a Real Doll and we’re all gonna think, at least it isn’t someone else’s skin.

  9. 9.

    askew

    Cole seems too happy. Is it possible to get high from mustard?

    OT – That was some speech Obama just gave in Israel. I don’t think it will make a damn bit of difference since no one in that region seems committed to giving anything up for peace. The Israeli/Arab media seems impressed with it and the US media is blaming Obama because there is no peace yet. So, doesn’t look like much has changed.

  17. 17.

    muddy

    @Just Some Fuckhead: This works well on interfering cats. If they pester me I pick them up and Love Them, and Squeeze Them and Kiss Them RIght On Their Little Kitty Lips! While saying the previous in a saccharine tone, it never fails.

    I think that’s what John is trying to do here.

  19. 19.

    ricky

    Is this post supposed to be the equivalent of the State Of the Union pandering after the chief of staff called us retards and the press secretary called us pros?

  21. 21.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @srv: No, I think less responsibility would be more appropriate here. Maybe John could bring a new blogger onboard to take over some of Mistermix’s duties, perhaps another black urban professional that could speak to the hearts and minds of a blog audience that is largely elderly white shut-ins with four or more animals living vicariously through a a near-recluse hillbilly in West Virginia.

  26. 26.

    gogol's wife

    I was definitely confused because I thought that post was by DougJ (the long, long nym mixed me up), and it seemed SO uncharacteristic. Then I realized it was mistermix and I calmed down.

  27. 27.

    gbear

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    a blog audience that is largely elderly white shut-ins with four or more animals living vicariously through a a near-recluse hillbilly in West Virginia.

    That pretty much nails it except for noting that we’re all reading and commenting while we’re at work.

  29. 29.

    Highway Rob

    Clearly either a rainbow-shitting unicorn or a cadre of fluffy bunnies invaded Cole’s house and held him at gunpoint to make him write this post.

    (This little movie ends with Tunch as Bruce-Willis-in-Die-Hard violently rescuing our favorite misanthropic bloghost.)

  31. 31.

    WereBear

    @muddy: This works well on interfering cats. If they pester me I pick them up and Love Them, and Squeeze Them and Kiss Them RIght On Their Little Kitty Lips! While saying the previous in a saccharine tone, it never fails.

    I do that too. It’s a great technique I call The Hug Monster.

  34. 34.

    burnspbesq

    @dmsilev:

    Isn’t it too early in the day for heavy drinking?

    Cole has the magical ability to instantly teleport to any time zone in which it isn’t too early in the day.

  37. 37.

    cckids

    @muddy:

    This works well on interfering cats. If they pester me I pick them up and Love Them, and Squeeze Them and Kiss Them RIght On Their Little Kitty Lips! While saying the previous in a saccharine tone, it never fails.

    Ha! My kids do this to our cats when they are trying to read/game/homework. They call it the “Too Much Love” technique.

  39. 39.

    Forum Transmitted Disease

    You’ve found a way to kill people through a computer screen, haven’t you, Cole?

  46. 46.

    Trollhattan

    Speaking of cats and dogs sleeping together,

    In a rare attack on a fellow conservative, Fox News host Bill O’Reilly tonight criticized Rep. Michele Bachmann for “playing small ball” in her recent attack on the perks President Barack Obama enjoys in the White House.

    “Now, this would be much ado about nothing, if not for the fact that trivial attacks on President Obama are obscuring serious problems in this country,” O’Reilly continued. “Does the president live well in the White House? Yes, he does. Is there money wasted there? You bet there is. But every other president in history has lived in comfort, and it looks like President Bush the younger had a bigger White House budget than Barack Obama does.”

    http://www.politico.com/blogs/media/2013/03/oreilly-slams-bachmann-for-trivial-criticisms-of-president-159895.html

    Yeah, I know, Politico, and anyway, it allows O’Reilly to claim for the next…ever that why yes, he DOES call out Republicans, so there!

  48. 48.

    max

    @Highway Rob: Clearly either a rainbow-shitting unicorn or a cadre of fluffy bunnies invaded Cole’s house and held him at gunpoint to make him write this post.

    That was almost exactly what I thought of when I read the post – except it made me think of flying unicorns (a pegasus with a spike) with fart-assisted takeoff.

    PBTHHHH SPUTTTT PBTHHHH … ZOOM! Taste the rainbow!

    Which makes me think that could be Cole’s coat of arms: a flying, farting unicorn carrying pants & mustard.

    max
    [‘To the rescue!’]

  50. 50.

    Barry

    “I’m not so sure why Mistermix hates you all so much, but all I have to say is I love you.”

    Everybody run, before John sobers up!

  51. 51.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    @BGinCHI:

    Some day it will be revealed that all the FPers and all the commenters are incarcerated.

    And that they are all the same person.

  53. 53.

    Roger Moore

    All y’all need to read the damn tag, #notintendedtobeafactualstatement. Come on, folks, Cole is trolling you, making it obvious, and you’re still falling for it.

  54. 54.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Roger Moore:

    Come on, folks, Cole is trolling you, making it obvious, and you’re still falling for it.

    Or playing along. Jesus, lighten up.

  55. 55.

    Trollhattan

    @Roger Moore:

    Who are we, as his minions, not to play along? It’s like his fuzzy crapcam photos–he’s a nerd and bloody well knows how to take a crisp, well-exposed photo. He doesn’t post any because it always stirs an angry mob.

    Just how he likes us. Now, please excuse me while I go chant ten “Hail Tunches.”

  57. 57.

    JustRuss

    Thanks Cole. Now make the site faster and better, but for god’s sake, don’t change anything.

  58. 58.

    greennotGreen

    You are the green shoots pushing through tough March dirt who need to be nurtured and adored.

    And you, John, are the organic fertilizer that enables us to flourish here.

  63. 63.

    comrade scott's agenda of rage

    Alien pod people have taken over Cole. Somebody please go to WV and kill him.

    For the sake of humanity and all that. ;)

  70. 70.

    ruemara

    @WereBear: This does not work on my Takkun and WTF John, that’s some high grade hillbilly heroin you’re smoking. Or is it the ecstasy that does the loving feelings?

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