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You are here: Home / You Are the Wind Beneath My Wings

You Are the Wind Beneath My Wings

by John Cole|  March 21, 201312:04 pm| 71 Comments

This post is in: #notintendedtobeafactualstatement

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I have no idea what Mistermix is talking about– I have nothing but respect for each and everyone of you and recognize you for the unique souls that you are, each one of you an individual snowflake sparkling in the December morning sun. You are the green shoots pushing through tough March dirt who need to be nurtured and adored. I’m not so sure why Mistermix hates you all so much, but all I have to say is I love you.

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Reader Interactions

71Comments

  1. 1.

    schrodinger's cat

    March 21, 2013 at 12:05 pm

    Does this mean that the mustard has been found? Or did you raid Tunch’s catnip?

  2. 2.

    Villago Delenda Est

    March 21, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    Oh, so now we know who the good cop is.

  3. 3.

    Amir Khalid

    March 21, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    We wuv you too.

  4. 4.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    March 21, 2013 at 12:07 pm

    Mistermix does seem to have some social interaction issues. Truthfully, I thought it was me but now I see it’s bigger than that. All we can do is love him as hard as we can and thereby show him how to love. It’s the only thing that works.

  5. 5.

    SatanicPanic

    March 21, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    Nice tag there

  6. 6.

    Cassidy

    March 21, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    One day, we’re gonna get a post with a pic of a Real Doll and we’re all gonna think, at least it isn’t someone else’s skin.

  7. 7.

    scav

    March 21, 2013 at 12:10 pm

    I’m whimpering in fear over here, personally.

  8. 8.

    srv

    March 21, 2013 at 12:10 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead: Maybe if John gave him some more resposibility, like Blog Ombudsman?

  9. 9.

    askew

    March 21, 2013 at 12:12 pm

    Cole seems too happy. Is it possible to get high from mustard?

    OT – That was some speech Obama just gave in Israel. I don’t think it will make a damn bit of difference since no one in that region seems committed to giving anything up for peace. The Israeli/Arab media seems impressed with it and the US media is blaming Obama because there is no peace yet. So, doesn’t look like much has changed.

  10. 10.

    Violet

    March 21, 2013 at 12:14 pm

    Everyone email Cole and tell him how much you love him!

  11. 11.

    Nicole

    March 21, 2013 at 12:17 pm

    Why don’t you ever respond to my emails? I mean, I’m not gong to be ignored.

  12. 12.

    Comrade Mary

    March 21, 2013 at 12:18 pm

    @Cassidy: WIN. Squick, but WIN.

  13. 13.

    LanceThruster

    March 21, 2013 at 12:19 pm

    […]but all I have to say is I love you.

    Get a room!

    xD

  14. 14.

    srv

    March 21, 2013 at 12:20 pm

    @Nicole: He only replies to T&H

  15. 15.

    c u n d gulag

    March 21, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    Hmm…

    I detect just a hint of insincerity.

  16. 16.

    dmsilev

    March 21, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    Isn’t it too early in the day for heavy drinking?

  17. 17.

    muddy

    March 21, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead: This works well on interfering cats. If they pester me I pick them up and Love Them, and Squeeze Them and Kiss Them RIght On Their Little Kitty Lips! While saying the previous in a saccharine tone, it never fails.

    I think that’s what John is trying to do here.

  18. 18.

    maya

    March 21, 2013 at 12:24 pm

    Don’t tease me, bro.

  19. 19.

    ricky

    March 21, 2013 at 12:29 pm

    Is this post supposed to be the equivalent of the State Of the Union pandering after the chief of staff called us retards and the press secretary called us pros?

  20. 20.

    BGinCHI

    March 21, 2013 at 12:29 pm

    I don’t even love myself that much.

    @maya: FTW.

  21. 21.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    March 21, 2013 at 12:33 pm

    @srv: No, I think less responsibility would be more appropriate here. Maybe John could bring a new blogger onboard to take over some of Mistermix’s duties, perhaps another black urban professional that could speak to the hearts and minds of a blog audience that is largely elderly white shut-ins with four or more animals living vicariously through a a near-recluse hillbilly in West Virginia.

  22. 22.

    TaMara (BHF)

    March 21, 2013 at 12:36 pm

    And with that my day is made. A little sarcasm, a little humor a little seltzer down your pants…

  23. 23.

    YellowJournalism

    March 21, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    I think I just peed my pants in fear.

  24. 24.

    Punchy

    March 21, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    John, a little early to polish off a fifth of gin, eh?

  25. 25.

    Soonergrunt

    March 21, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    Who are you, and what have you done with John Cole?

  26. 26.

    gogol's wife

    March 21, 2013 at 12:45 pm

    I was definitely confused because I thought that post was by DougJ (the long, long nym mixed me up), and it seemed SO uncharacteristic. Then I realized it was mistermix and I calmed down.

  27. 27.

    gbear

    March 21, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    a blog audience that is largely elderly white shut-ins with four or more animals living vicariously through a a near-recluse hillbilly in West Virginia.

    That pretty much nails it except for noting that we’re all reading and commenting while we’re at work.

  28. 28.

    Zandar

    March 21, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    Man, you higher than shit.

  29. 29.

    Highway Rob

    March 21, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    Clearly either a rainbow-shitting unicorn or a cadre of fluffy bunnies invaded Cole’s house and held him at gunpoint to make him write this post.

    (This little movie ends with Tunch as Bruce-Willis-in-Die-Hard violently rescuing our favorite misanthropic bloghost.)

  30. 30.

    BGinCHI

    March 21, 2013 at 12:48 pm

    @gbear: Some day it will be revealed that all the FPers and all the commenters are incarcerated.

  31. 31.

    WereBear

    March 21, 2013 at 12:52 pm

    @muddy: This works well on interfering cats. If they pester me I pick them up and Love Them, and Squeeze Them and Kiss Them RIght On Their Little Kitty Lips! While saying the previous in a saccharine tone, it never fails.

    I do that too. It’s a great technique I call The Hug Monster.

  32. 32.

    ET

    March 21, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    Were you drunk or just up too late?

  33. 33.

    ranchandsyrup

    March 21, 2013 at 12:54 pm

    John is Dr. Frankenstein. This blog is his hated creation.

  34. 34.

    burnspbesq

    March 21, 2013 at 1:01 pm

    @dmsilev:

    Isn’t it too early in the day for heavy drinking?

    Cole has the magical ability to instantly teleport to any time zone in which it isn’t too early in the day.

  35. 35.

    Redshirt

    March 21, 2013 at 1:06 pm

    I just puked up a rainbow.

  36. 36.

    Comrade Mary

    March 21, 2013 at 1:06 pm

    @WereBear: That is so sweet and obviously so effective.

    Reminds me of this, too.

  37. 37.

    cckids

    March 21, 2013 at 1:07 pm

    @muddy:

    This works well on interfering cats. If they pester me I pick them up and Love Them, and Squeeze Them and Kiss Them RIght On Their Little Kitty Lips! While saying the previous in a saccharine tone, it never fails.

    Ha! My kids do this to our cats when they are trying to read/game/homework. They call it the “Too Much Love” technique.

  38. 38.

    Eric NNY

    March 21, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    I wish you all would stop stepping on my comments.

  39. 39.

    Forum Transmitted Disease

    March 21, 2013 at 1:17 pm

    You’ve found a way to kill people through a computer screen, haven’t you, Cole?

  40. 40.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 21, 2013 at 1:19 pm

    Tussin?

  41. 41.

    pk

    March 21, 2013 at 1:37 pm

    Are you ill? Did you fall on your head or something?

  42. 42.

    Trollhattan

    March 21, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    @dmsilev:

    It’s always happy hour, somewhere.

    I’m going with mustard coma.

  43. 43.

    Trollhattan

    March 21, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    @Forum Transmitted Disease:

    Wasn’t there a Star Trek episode with that? Has anybody seen bad Spock recently?

  44. 44.

    RP

    March 21, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    I’m sick of myself when I look at you
    something is beautiful and true

  45. 45.

    Michael G

    March 21, 2013 at 1:50 pm

    I fear some sort of mustard and gin cocktail was involved.

  46. 46.

    Trollhattan

    March 21, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    Speaking of cats and dogs sleeping together,

    In a rare attack on a fellow conservative, Fox News host Bill O’Reilly tonight criticized Rep. Michele Bachmann for “playing small ball” in her recent attack on the perks President Barack Obama enjoys in the White House.

    “Now, this would be much ado about nothing, if not for the fact that trivial attacks on President Obama are obscuring serious problems in this country,” O’Reilly continued. “Does the president live well in the White House? Yes, he does. Is there money wasted there? You bet there is. But every other president in history has lived in comfort, and it looks like President Bush the younger had a bigger White House budget than Barack Obama does.”

    http://www.politico.com/blogs/media/2013/03/oreilly-slams-bachmann-for-trivial-criticisms-of-president-159895.html

    Yeah, I know, Politico, and anyway, it allows O’Reilly to claim for the next…ever that why yes, he DOES call out Republicans, so there!

  47. 47.

    ranchandsyrup

    March 21, 2013 at 1:55 pm

    @RP: Sweet Sweet reference

  48. 48.

    max

    March 21, 2013 at 1:56 pm

    @Highway Rob: Clearly either a rainbow-shitting unicorn or a cadre of fluffy bunnies invaded Cole’s house and held him at gunpoint to make him write this post.

    That was almost exactly what I thought of when I read the post – except it made me think of flying unicorns (a pegasus with a spike) with fart-assisted takeoff.

    PBTHHHH SPUTTTT PBTHHHH … ZOOM! Taste the rainbow!

    Which makes me think that could be Cole’s coat of arms: a flying, farting unicorn carrying pants & mustard.

    max
    [‘To the rescue!’]

  49. 49.

    Yutsano

    March 21, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: JC has indeed found the grape drank.

  50. 50.

    Barry

    March 21, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    “I’m not so sure why Mistermix hates you all so much, but all I have to say is I love you.”

    Everybody run, before John sobers up!

  51. 51.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    March 21, 2013 at 2:05 pm

    @BGinCHI:

    Some day it will be revealed that all the FPers and all the commenters are incarcerated.

    And that they are all the same person.

  52. 52.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 21, 2013 at 2:05 pm

    @Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: I thought everyone knew that we are all DougJ.

    @Yutsano: Or shitloads of X.

  53. 53.

    Roger Moore

    March 21, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    All y’all need to read the damn tag, #notintendedtobeafactualstatement. Come on, folks, Cole is trolling you, making it obvious, and you’re still falling for it.

  54. 54.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 21, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    @Roger Moore:

    Come on, folks, Cole is trolling you, making it obvious, and you’re still falling for it.

    Or playing along. Jesus, lighten up.

  55. 55.

    Trollhattan

    March 21, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    @Roger Moore:

    Who are we, as his minions, not to play along? It’s like his fuzzy crapcam photos–he’s a nerd and bloody well knows how to take a crisp, well-exposed photo. He doesn’t post any because it always stirs an angry mob.

    Just how he likes us. Now, please excuse me while I go chant ten “Hail Tunches.”

  56. 56.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    March 21, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: I am Doug Galt.

  57. 57.

    JustRuss

    March 21, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    Thanks Cole. Now make the site faster and better, but for god’s sake, don’t change anything.

  58. 58.

    greennotGreen

    March 21, 2013 at 2:16 pm

    You are the green shoots pushing through tough March dirt who need to be nurtured and adored.

    And you, John, are the organic fertilizer that enables us to flourish here.

  59. 59.

    schrodinger's cat

    March 21, 2013 at 2:19 pm

    @Trollhattan: anom!

  60. 60.

    Jay in Oregon

    March 21, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    I’m treating this as an open thread.

    The Senate passed a GOP-sponsored amendment barring the National Science Foundation from funding political science study of democracy and public policy.

    http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/senate-delivers-a-devastating-blow-to-the-integrity-of-the-scientific-process-at-the-national-science-foundation-199221111.html

  61. 61.

    NonyNony

    March 21, 2013 at 2:29 pm

    @Comrade Colette Collaboratrice:

    I have long maintained that 100% of the FP posters and roughly 75% of the commentariat here are actually DougJ performing his most elaborate troll ever.

  62. 62.

    Trollhattan

    March 21, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    IC what you did dere (took a second, several actually). :-)

  63. 63.

    comrade scott's agenda of rage

    March 21, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    Alien pod people have taken over Cole. Somebody please go to WV and kill him.

    For the sake of humanity and all that. ;)

  64. 64.

    Pococurante

    March 21, 2013 at 2:41 pm

    @greennotGreen: You win the internet for today.

    Please remember to place it back, gently, tomorrow.

  65. 65.

    JCJ

    March 21, 2013 at 2:53 pm

    @greennotGreen:

    Nicely done!

  66. 66.

    Maude

    March 21, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    When’s the group hug?
    I don’t wan to miss out.

  67. 67.

    karen

    March 21, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    OT but it seems that some people in WV don’t agree with John Cole’s sentiment.

    http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/03/21/west-virginia-papers-anti-lgbt-column-wants-death-for-nggers-spics-kikes-and-wops/

  68. 68.

    dance around in your bones

    March 21, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    You’re so vain
    You prolly think this post is about y’all

  69. 69.

    Ash Can

    March 21, 2013 at 4:09 pm

    Fuck you too.

  70. 70.

    ruemara

    March 21, 2013 at 4:29 pm

    @WereBear: This does not work on my Takkun and WTF John, that’s some high grade hillbilly heroin you’re smoking. Or is it the ecstasy that does the loving feelings?

  71. 71.

    elftx

    March 21, 2013 at 10:14 pm

    He likes us. He really likes us. o wait

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